Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 75 - Words: 74,437 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 79 - Updated: Dec 16 - Published: Jan 18, 2016 - id: 11739934
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"'Sir, I was wondering if you knew my parent's well,' Harry asked in one breath before he lost his nerves." –Johnny Farrar, "The Potter Politics"
Slughorn stroked his moustache thoughtfully. "Which parent?" he enquired. "Not Lily, was it?"
"No, sir, my dad," said Harry, taking a deep breath; now that his attack of nerves had worn off, he found himself more prepared to go into details. "Apparently there was a Whispering Well on the old Potter land; my godfather mentioned it in his will, and the Headmaster thinks I should go have a conversation with it once I become of age this summer. But it doesn't seem right for me to just go demanding counsel from an ancient magic without being properly introduced – so I thought, if you happened to…"
"'Myes," said Slughorn. "Well, Harry m'boy, I'm afraid I must reply in the negative; I did know your grandfather slightly, but not so as to be made acquainted with the secrets of his estate. You might ask Gudrun, though; I believe there was an old connection between the Potters and the Sinistras."
"In all fairness, he had a very handsome face and a very athletic physic." –Vorlon666, "Ascension of the Scorpion Sorcerer"
Xoran Zabini inched open the lid of his medicine case, his hand looming over the slowly widening crack. With luck, this time he would be able to catch the tablet before it got loose…
But he didn't, of course. With the agility for which Grayson's Anti-Lupus Potion was famous, the little yellow pill sprang from the other end of the case, launched itself into the air, and performed thirteen somersaults and a double full twist before Xoran caught up with it and wrestled it to the ground.
As he dragged the struggling tablet over to the sink and fixed himself a glass of water with his free hand, he heard his brother Blaise chuckle behind him. "Usual morning routine, Xor?"
"As ever," said Xoran, popping the pill and washing it down in one practised motion. "I do wish they didn't make these things quite so athletic; even Professor Lupin didn't have this much trouble taking his physic."
Blaise shrugged. "Well, at least you've still got your looks…"
"A sneer was planted firmly on his dace, but Rodolphus didn't seem to be impressed." –Sarah McLearing, "A Powerfull Weapon"
"Here, see for yourself," said Snape, and stuck his wand into the aquarium. "Labiacrispus!"
A red light surged through the water, and struck the silvery, carp-like fish square on the jaw. Immediately, its face began to contort itself out of the vacant expression usual to fish, and, within a matter of seconds, it was sporting a quite unmistakable sneer.
"You see?" Snape demanded, snatching his wand back out of the aquarium fiercely (and splattering water over himself and his companion in the process). "A sneer! On a dace! Do you know how much magical prowess it takes to make a dace sneer? And all Lestrange did was grunt like an ox and wander back over to the refreshments table!"
Mulciber shrugged. "Don't take it too hard, Snape," he said. "We all know Dolph's an idiot." He chuckled. "I'll never forget: when he tried to please the Dark Lord by making him robes that read 'The Most Powerful Wizard Ever', he spelled 'powerful' with two L's. Earned him a nasty Cruciatus, that did."
"Again sighing, knowing all the work she was loaded with, [she] took out her wand and amused herself by transfiguring the grass that was currently in the mouth of an unsuspecting lama, into a pile of daisies." –Queen of Basil, "Foreign Prophecy"
Hermione stepped out into the lamasery courtyard, where the young South American witch lay toying idly with her wand. "Leia?" she said. "What are you doing out here?"
Leia shrugged. "Oh, you know," she said. "Just… stuff."
Hermione glanced at the saffron-robed figure who sat nearby, munching cheerfully on a mouthful of daisies, and rolled her eyes. "Look, Leia," she said. "Your aunt told me about your attention issues; I know that, when you're forced to sit still too long, eventually something snaps inside you and you have to go out and cast random spells on things for a while. And I respect that, and if you need a Ping-Pong table or something set up in the library, I'd be happy to arrange that. But those ancient scrolls do have to be translated and in the Headmaster's hands by Friday, and you're the only person alive with enough ifreet blood to read them; we really don't need you getting kicked out of Yama-la for Confunding the lamas into thinking they're sheep."
Leia sighed. "Yeah, I know, Hermione," she said. "You're entirely right, and I shouldn't be wasting time playing truant this way. I'll go back inside right now." Then she paused, and glanced speculatively toward the horizon. "You know, I bet I could knock the High Lama's hat off with a Cruciatus Curse right now, and he wouldn't even feel… okay, okay. I'm going, I'm going."
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