Chapter 12

Tony called them. Steve and Oakleigh had been drinking hot chocolate in the kitchen, waiting on news. They did not get him. Oakleigh's heart raced; he was playing with them. A man like Ozwald does not get caught on camera after years if it is not on purpose.

Bucky had gone back to their apartment about an hour ago.

Oakleigh left Steve to update the rest of the team; she wanted to be the one to tell Bucky.

He was sitting on their couch when she entered; he did not look up at her at first. Until she stayed standing near the door, waiting for his attention.

When she had it, she told him, "He got away."

Bucky's eyes fluttered closed. He was angry, but he had let out his rage over the last couple of hours, bringing it down to a low simmer. It was easier to be there for her now than it was earlier.

"How do you feel about that?"

Oakleigh played with the ring on her pointer finger, "I don't know. Until yesterday, I've been going to school and being here, I haven't put much thought into him. I do want to apologize to you, though." she crossed the room. "I'm sorry that Steve and I lied to you. I went to Steve, and I was the one who asked him to mess with FRIDAYS notifications on your phone. He felt really guilty about betraying you."

"You don't."

"I am sorry about how it's made you feel. I'm not sorry I did it. I will protect you and us always, even if it doesn't make me your favourite person."

Bucky reached for her hand, pulling her down to sit beside him. "I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you today."

"Steve and I hung out most of the day. We watched you out the window for a while and talked. He told me you guys were talking about the past, and Gavin, I want to reiterate you do remember how that played out right. Yes, he attacked me, and I knew what he planned on doing, but he didn't. I stopped him. Same deal with Ozwald; he was stopped."

"and listen, I'm not saying those things were ok or fun to remember. I am saying that every woman I know and I have experienced the same thing. Inappropriate comments and touches, Attacks and assaults. It sucks, but it's kinda a daily occurrence." Bucky paled. "I want to put into perspective that those moments were one of many for me, even if they've had a lasting impression on you."

"Well, it shouldn't be."

Oakleigh smirked, "Who are you, Captain America? The world is fucked up, and we get to live in it."

"We will get him, O."

She nodded, "We will if he presents a chance. I don't want this to be our life, you searching him out, us playing games with each other. Can we please just let it be?"

She knew it cost him to agree, but he nodded. "Alright."

"Thank you." She leaned up and kissed him.

"Do you want some food?"

Oakleigh nodded, she was starving, and she knew he had to be hungry.

They had waffles and chicken sandwiches in comfortable silence. Bucky reached out and touched her, kissing her head and not letting more than a couple of minutes go by without some form of contact.

Oakleigh phone rang out from her back pocket. Cleaning her hands, she pulled it out to take the call.

"Hey, Rob."

"Hey, Oakleigh, how is your night going?"

"Good, thanks; just making some food. Did you finish studying your diseases?"

"The Cancers are still tripping me up, but I'll get there. Anyway, I am calling because Janice and I wanted to work on one more study group meeting tomorrow morning. Think you could make it?"

"Ahh, Yea. How early are we talking?"

"830 at that coffee shop on the west end of campus."

"I will be there with bells on." She hung up, groaning.

"You didn't have to go back to school." Bucky teased her.

Oakleigh levelled him with a no-nonsense look. "There is not much you can do with your life nowadays if you do not have a degree. Besides, I like the classes; it's just harder to be excited about going when you're around."

Pulling her into his chest, Bucky inhaled deeply. "Hurry up and graduate. I would much rather have you patching me up than Banner."

"Oh, please. Since when do you let anybody patch you up?"

"I used to let you do it all the time."

"Uh-huh. I seem to recall you stopping by a lot until I let you get into my pants; then, I hardly saw you at all."

"No, true. And I let Bruce give me stitches last month." Oakleigh pushed away from him, turning to place the rest of their dishes in the dishwasher.

"You were unconscious."

Bucky shrugged. "Still counts."

"If you say so." She snorted. "I would rather you not get hurt at all, but alas, that doesn't seem like a possibility."

"How about this? I'll retire once you agree to marry me."

Nervously Oakleigh places her hands on the counter, not looking back at her boyfriend. Bucky crossed his arms and leaned back again the opposing counter.

"You know. The last time you proposed to me, you tried to get out of it by falling off a train."

Bucky licked his lower lip. "As I recall, there was nothing to get out of. When I asked, you blushed, avoided eye contact and said, 'we'll see.'"

"We were standing in the middle of camp, surrounded by people. Things were getting more intense. The risks were higher. You asking, it wasn't real."

Bucky frowned, trying to read her expression. "I gave you a ring. Do you honestly think I wasn't serious when I proposed to you?"

The ring had been lost decades ago, and Oakleigh had worn it on her pointer finger instead of her ring finger. A gold band with an oval diamond at the centre. Bucky remembered Oakleigh's eyes fluttering when he presented it to her. He saw the way she tried to push the emotions down that were trying to burst from her chest.

When they had been captured, Bucky still had the ring lose in his pants pocket. After they had been reunited in her room, they had sex and cuddled close together. Bucky kissed her nose and pulled the ring from his discarded pants pocket. "I promise we'll make it out of this." Once again, presenting the ring to her.

Oakleigh had calmly taken the jewellery from him, sliding the ring onto her pointer finger on her left hand. "Okay." She answered back softly.

"I can't even remember which decade I lost it in." Voice soft.

Bucky cleared his throat. "O."

She sighed; his eyes were locked in on her demanding an answer. "We'd only known each other for a couple of weeks before you were captured. Before that, I was waiting for you to lose interest and go after Donna or Peggy. All the guys fooled around and tried to get our attention. Once you were bored, I assumed you would move on. Then you didn't. You were captured, and the hopelessness ate away at me. When you came back, the thought of growing more attached to you made me sick."

"Then again, when we were with Hydra. You presented the ring, and I accepted; I figured there was no way we were going to get home. That was it for us. Everything, girls back home, your intent, none of it factored in. I was promising to be there and care for each other as best we could."

Bucky shook his head, clearly shocked. "I was never more serious about anything than I was when I walked into that store and bout that ring." He moved to stand right in front of her. "I said I wanted to marry you back home with all our friends and family. You thought I was being insincere?"

Oakleigh was not sure how else to answer him. She had told him what each proposal meant and how she viewed them. What more could she say?

"Why would you have wanted to? We argued all the time, and we hardly agreed on anything. Even once we started dating, then you we a WOP Bucky! I did not think you were ever coming back. That, that feeling. I promised I would never let myself be in a position to feel that ever again. Then you were back; Steve brought you back. I wanted to push you away, but I was just so happy you were safe and you kissed me in front of everyone. They all knew we were together."

"While with Hydra. I felt that punch to the stomach feeling weekly. You fought and opposed them; they tortured you. They sent you on missions and put you in that damn tube. Every time they took you away, I was sure you wouldn't be coming back. But you did. After a couple of years, that awful feeling stopped happening because you always came back... You were always there when they put me into cryo, always. Until that last time. When the glass frosted over, that feeling took over; I knew that was it."

Oakleigh grabbed the front of Bucky's shirt. "God, I love you, and I hate myself for it because no matter how hard I've tried since I've been back, I feel like I can't let you all the way in. I feel like I'm waiting to fall back in with Hydra and have them erase myself from you or for you to look around and find something better. I miss you when you leave for missions; I feel your absence. I can't wait for you to get back, but it's not that same gut-punch feeling. I don't know if I'm capable of that kind of love anymore."

She was crying now, tears streaming down her face. Oakleigh felt ashamed of her feelings and knew he knew. Bucky knew she was broken and not capable of loving him how he deserved to be loved. What was there left for him to do in this situation except cut his losses?

Bucky caressed her cheek, taking hold of her head. "The fact that you think any of that will make me not love you is ridiculous. We've never talked about it, and I have had time after Hydra to recalculate. For you, it's only been a couple of months, and all of those feelings are still fresh for you. I love you, and nothing you say is going to change how sure I am about us. All this time, you've been walking around carrying this? You could have told me, talked to me about it."

"And tell you what? I'm sorry I can't love you because if I do, something bad is going to happen?" Oakleigh got out of Bucky's hold, walking into the living room space. "What are you even supposed to do with that? What is the point of me telling you I'm incapable of loving you back?"

Bucky rounded the kitchen island, not liking the space between them. "You show me you love me all the time. You don't need to say the words because I feel it! You are afraid. Fear is natural after everything we've been through. You don't think I'm afraid of losing you? That when I'm gone, I don't check in every possible free moment to make sure you're still safe? Do you think I didn't do a background check on everyone in your study group? That feeling you have in your chest, sweetheart, I get that too. Every time I have to leave, I'm waiting for someone to call and tell me something bad happened. We might always have that ingrained in us from our time at Hydra. PTSD from the war."

"I don't want to feel like this." Oakleigh voice hopelessly. "Everything is so modernized, but I adapted. Technology, equality, stupid flying cars. We are still alive, you, me and Steve. We are still here. They died, and yet it feels like they are still here too. I can't escape them, what they did to us. I have tried to let it go and move on, but how can I when freakin' Ozwald and others are out there throwing it all in our faces. We are never getting away from them!"

Bucky frowned, hating the finality of her words. She was breaking down. When she first came back, he had been expecting something, but she was even keel. He had watched as she made jokes, smiled and learned. It had seemed so effortless, and she had been the one comforting him with his doubts. It hurt that he only had seen the surface level, and he had not realized that she was swimming in the same doubts he was.

Hydra seemed to be embedded everywhere. Steve thought they had gotten hide of them once when they killed the red skull; he had been wrong. SHIELD had been taken over, keeping the evil hidden in plain sight. It did seem like a hopeless task sometimes, but what were they supposed to do other than deal with it? Take down as many of them as they can, and keep Hydra scattered so they can't do anything as they did back during the second war.

Bucky grabbed Oakleigh's hands, forcing her to sit down on their coffee table, and he crouched down in front of her.

"What else?"

He wanted to know everything. He was feeling what she was thinking so they could move on fresh together. If she kept pushing her feelings aside, it would only hurt her in the long run.

Oakleigh shook her head. "The more time I'm out of cryo, the more I seem to remember little details. You being tortured, us trying to escape, the boring moments when all I would do is just sit around and think about how to get us out of this. I thought about Steve and how I knew he would be so devastated when he came back and found me missing. How you 'dying' and my disappearance would haunt him."

Bucky nodded along. "We you woke up, we brought you around to things fairly fast. I never gave you time to look back to remember, analyze and grieve. I think we should get you in to talk to someone so you can talk freely and not worry about how Steve or I will feel about all of it."

"I didn't want to think too hard about it. I lived it. I know what happened to me; I know how I feel about it."

"You don't have to if you don't want to, O. You don't even have to talk about yourself and the war. You can talk about unresolved things with your family, about almost dying, anything that's bothering you."

"I do love you." She reconfirmed.

Bucky's lips formed a soft smile. "I know."

He leaned forward, placing a kiss on her cheek. "I am doing ok. After today I don't want you to get all anxious about me going out again. I haven't been putting on a show for months. Today, not catching Ozwald, it just set me off, and I spiralled."

"I will let you in on a not-so-secret secret. I'm always worried about you, and it's ok to spiral every once and a while. I say we have earned it."

"Do you want to hang here the rest of the afternoon and watch some movies?"

"Sounds perfect." He told her.

.

Getting up early to get to her study session was brutal. After yesterday's emotions, it has been hard to fall asleep, and the lack of sleep makes it hard to wake up.

Bucky insisted on driving Oakleigh into campus; he dropped her off with a kiss and a promise to be there that evening to pick her up. Her shadow did not drive with them, but he was there when she looked over her shoulder, following her like usual.

Before she could get into the cafe, she heard her name being called from down the street. Looking up, Oakleigh frowned. Kenny?

Noticing Devin take in the situation, Oakleigh moved passed the cafe. Kenny went behind the building and waited for her.

"Kenny, what are you doing here?"

After the last time she saw him, Oakleigh figured she probably would not see him again. It was obvious he was still dealing with shady stuff, hydra related or not, and she wanted no part in it.

Feeling eyes on her, Oakleigh looked over her should she see Devin had crossed the street and was now leaning against a storefront looking at his phone. No doubt, having run face recognition to figure out who she was talking to. She hoped he had not contacted Bucky. After the excitement of yesterday, he did not need Kenny popping up.

"You are looking a lot better than the last time I saw you." He smiled.

Oakleigh nodded, "Yea, modern medicine can do a lot for a person. Why are you here, Kenny?"

"I'm sorry to do this, but I needed to give you a heads-up. There are a couple of high roller hydra members in town; they have a connection to Ozwald. They practically came up together, if you want to think of it that way. Heath Zane and Turk Martin. I don't think they've ever come in contact with you, but I know they hired the winter soldier to do a job for them back in the early 2000s."

"I also know that Zane and Martin are across the street right now taking care of your escort."

Oakleigh's eyes widened as she took in what Kenny was saying. In a moment of pure panic, she stopped thinking and stupidly turned her back on Kenny. The sharp needle prick into her neck stung, and she pushed back into Kenny, forcing him to stumble. Kenny grabbed hold of her as they both went down. The brick store wall met the back of Oakleigh's head with a sickening crack.

Needle falling to the ground, Oakleigh scrambled and ran out into the open. Devin was nowhere to be seen, and the cafe where her friends were was only twenty steps away. Her vision blurred as she quickly stumbled in the right direction.

"Hello, Oak."

Freezing at the nickname, the one Hydra members used to refer to her. Oakleigh felt the blood drain from her face because she recognized that voice from the video she had watched a couple of months ago. Ozwald.

He smiled at her, eye raking over the length of her body. "I'll be seeing you real soon."

Confusion swam into her fading mind. He was walking away. Why was he walking away? Rob appeared in her line of vision.

"Hey Oakleigh, were all inside- hey, are you ok? You look like you're in shock."

She guessed in a way she was. Oakleigh had no idea what Kenny doused her with, and if that had not done it, seeing Ozawald again sure would have.

"Call for help." She managed to get out, falling into him.

"O! What the hell, someone call 911!" Rob laid her flat on the ground, moving around her, checking for strong vitals. "Keep your eyes open, Oakleigh."

She had not realized they had closed until he spoke. By now, the two had drawn a crowd, and Daniel and Janice were crouched down over her. They asked Rob what had happened, but he had nothing to go on.

"She is stable, but there's a laceration on the back of her head."

"Concussion." She muttered.

Oakleigh could feel the heavy feeling of a paralytic settling into her bones.

"My phone," She prompted them, "Call Bucky."

Janice fished the cell phone from Oakleigh's pocket as she struggled to stay awake. Adrenaline leaving her Body, Oakleigh felt the vomit rise in her throat. Seeing her gag, Rob rolled her onto her side, letting her empty her breakfast onto the sidewalk.

The dizziness was stomach-turning. Oakleigh tried to listen into Janice's side of the conversation but was only catching parts. Bucky could not have dropped her off more than fifteen minutes ago; he had to be close by.

"Head wound- already called an ambulance-Semi conscious, too out of it to talk." The sound of sirens drowned her out.

Rob leaned down near her ear. "The ambulance is almost here, Oakleigh, just a little longer."

The ride to the hospital was a blur, as were her first couple of hours. Oakleigh remembered being wheeled into a building but recognized immediately that it was not a hospital. The lights were dim, and the wall concrete instead of bright white and sterol.

When she came around, however, many hours later, Oakleigh tested out her limbs, feeling them respond. The relief she felt was short-lived when she realized she was strapped down to a reclined chair.

She did not have to look up to know the person walking toward her was Owen Ozwald. He was older than she remembered but still had that lethal look in his eye.

"Hello, Oak. Thanks for finally joining us. It looks like you hit your head pretty hard; it kept you out a whole eight hours."

Looking around the room, there were no windows. The only light source was from the ceiling. The air was cold and stale, giving her best guess. Oakleigh would say they were in some industrial business basement.

Which meant either the ambulance that picked her up was high-jacked or had been stolen. Damn it, she was so fucked.

"I see you've reconnected with that mindless boyfriend of yours." Ozwald clicked his tongue. "You were always way too good for him. His hands are so covered in blood he doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as you."

"You know nothing about him or me."

"That is where you are wrong." He came closer. "I've studied you. I have your whole Hydra file."

Oakleigh shook her head, immediately regretting it. "A bunch of fabricated files won't tell you the first thing about me. What is taking me going to do for you? Except earn you an ass-kicking."

"I've been working on some new technology while I've been away."

"I don't give a damn about your fucked up Hydra science experiment."

He grinned, running his index finger up her outer thigh. "I think you might care about this."

Oakleigh tried to control the panic building in her chest. By now, Bucky knew she was taken, and he was still on probation with Fury. Oakleigh wanted him to find her, but she did not want him to lose his freedom in the process.

She was collected off the street by an ambulance. There were a handful of witnesses, and there had to be a street camera in the area that caught her and could follow where they drove through the city.

"Where are we?"

"Nevada." He told her.

Wasn't Nevada on the other side of the country? Oakleigh did not remember a plane ride. Then again, Ozwald said she had been out for eight hours. It was enough time for them to get her there and stash away somewhere.

"Why Nevada?"

"I like the desert. Nobody around for miles." He turned and came back over to her, needled in hand. "Kenny tells me you've been scrubbed clean. Doctor Banner took everything Hydra gave you and washed it all down the drain."

"It was killing me."

"It made you strong, kept you alive all these years."

"Maybe, but they left me alone in that facility. I was abandoned, frozen in time!"

"They wasted your potential! You are meant to be something great, not some fleshlight for their latest experiment."

The crude words slapped her in the face, no matter how untrue they were. "You are disgusting."

"I, Darling, am a visionary."

She scoffed, "So was Hitler."

Ozwald grabbed her shoulders, squeezing painfully. "Enough! I need to draw some blood, and I don't need you conscious to do it."

Oakleigh shook her head. No, she could not go under again.

"Wait, please don't."

He shoved his palm over her mouth and nose. Oakleigh opened her mouth wide as she could and bit down hard. She released as Ozwald pulled away, screaming.

"That was not very nice!" He backhanded her, sinking a needle into her shoulder.