A/N: Hello y'all so just a PSA y'all better read the description before you read this FF, if you have standards do not read! Also sorry for the last two chapters, my 11 year old brother wrote them (hes so clever), this chapter was all me :)


Harry Thotter and Whoremine fell onto a toilet bowl full of brown goo when they got to Asskabang.

"If only Rip were here he would be in heaven with all this material surrounding us," said Whoremione.

"He sure would enjoy it, alas he is creating our thot army. But, I will bring him a snack for when we see him," Harry said while scooping the fecal matter into his pocket. "Lucky for me, I used a spell to make my pockets bottomless. He'll be feasting for hours and he'll be flushed when he returns, wink wink."

Harry Thotter and Whoremione flew up to the Head Whoremaster at the prison, who was firing away at the turdlet in the middle of the hallway.

"How do we locate Serious black ass's cell?" Whoremine questioned.

"Oh, a bisexual question," the Whoremaster said. "To find the prisoner you seek, you must follow the brown brick road."

"Isn't it supposed to be yellow?"

"Yes but Serious shit his way to his cell when we first brought him here, and we never sweeped it up, so that's how you'll find him. Good luck," the Whoremaster said as(s) he flushed himself down the toilet. Harry and Whoremione then followed the brown brick road and flew along the corrid(wh)or(e) with their stripper poles.

Thotter and Whoremione stomped on a guard's head like a Goomba and skidded down the brown brick road on a jet ski. Serious Black Ass's cell was at the end of the hallway and he was the only prisoner being held in the entire jail.

"There's another guard by the door," Whoremione said.

"We need to get out of the open, because I'm about to start moaning your name," Harry said.

"I've got the perfect place," Whoremione smiled sexily at the blonde boy.

"Go ahead, my lion," Thotter said as Whoremione opened up a can of whoop tushy all over the guard, sending him flying into the Booty Realm. Whoremione whipped a battering ram made of shit, resin, and epoxy and rammed it against the steel reinforced doors. The door fell in 0.5 seconds.

"I told you my shit was the firmest around," Thotter said.

"I think this was actually Rip's. You can tell because it's mostly recycled shit."

"Whatevs."

Serious Black Ass was inside the cell looking at an entire episode of Big A$$ Dumparoo printed out on a flipbook that was as tall as the room.

"I'm missing the season finale of Big A$$ Dumparoo, this better be important," Serious Black Ass said. Harry Thotter and Whoremione trembled before the size and weight of his black ass.

"It's the biggest, blackest ass I've ever seen," Whoremione cried.

"We're here to bust you out of this silly prison," Thotter said. "We need your help to stop Voldewhoret before he can find all the Whorecruxes and inflate his big bippy to a size never before seen on planet Earth."

"Voldewhoret," Serious Black Ass cried. "My entire family was crushed beneath his buttocks during the Booty Massacre of 1992! He cannot be allowed to reunite the Whorecruxes!"

"We need to find the other Whorecruxes before that fool does. Dumplewhore said you knew where they were."

"I know where only one is," Serious Black Ass said as he looked at the toilet paper roll near his Jumbo John. "It's right over there."

"Is it your toilet?"

"It's the toilet paper rod," Serious Black Ass said. "I had it fused to the wall of my cell with epoopxy. I ensured that it would never ever come off."

"Well, spank my tushy and call me Poop Knife Peter, because I'm gonna get that rod off that wall if it's the last thing I d(po)o!"


Rip was just tucking in all the little thots for bedtime. He whipped out his app and clicked on some "good" lore.

"Who wants a bedtime story written by xxEmo-chick.666xx?" Rip asked.

"Who even is that?" asked a thot

"I don't know but apparently the author thinks their lore is the best," he responded

"What is it called?" asked a girl

"Hogwarts spicy one shots," he answered

"That sounds like something my 11 year old brother would write thinking he's clever. Uncreative and kinda gross," said the girl

"Very true. Well you guys stay here I will be right back, I'm gonna go get a quick snack," said Rip skipping to the outhouse outside. After he was done nibbling on his snack he looked over yonder to the Ol' Butt Mobile he used to ride to stripper lessons when he was little. He walked around to the side and gazed upon the big hole in the back.

"Ah yes, I remember that day when I had spicy explosive diarrhea and wore away a hole in the bottom of the bus," Rip said to himself.

"Rip! Where are you? Don't eat too much shit or your colon will be destroyed!" yelled one of the thots from afar.

"I'm coming," Rip said hustling back to the chamber, just as he received a call on his phone.


"I can't do it, man," Harry Thotter said. "It's fused too tightly to the wall."

"I didn't mean what I said about you cologne," Whoremione said. "I like it, I want to smell like that too."

"You will," Serious Black Ass grinned and moved Whoremione against the wall. All three of them then pulled on the toilet paper rod, but it did not budge.

"I need to call a professional," Thotter said. "Someone who knows toilet paper rods inside and out."

Harry Thotter whipped out his phone and speed-dialed Rip.

"I need to go into the hallway where the light is better."

"I'm going to miss your sexy muscular body next to mine," Serious Black Ass said as Harry Thotter evacuated.

"Rip, I need your help."

"Did you accidentally enter a shit-eating contest again and need help finishing? I can't keep busting your sorry tushy out of these competitions-"

"No, I need you to help pull a toilet paper rod off of a prison cell wall."

"Aw, I just did that last week," Rip cried.

"Just get your bippy to Azkabang Prison ASAP, and bring the whole thot army. We'll need their combined thotty abilities."

"Et thotis!" Rip said as he hung up. Seconds later, Rip showed up at the prison with the entire thot army.

"I've always wanted to see the brown brick road in person," all the thots cried in perfect harmony.

"Get your big bippies over here and pull on this rod with me!"

Rip marched over to the toilet paper rod and inspected it.

"I know exactly what to do," Rip said. Rip pantsed himself and revealed his bare bum and clenched it around the rod. He st(f)arted pulling as(s) hard as(s) he could but(t) it was(s) still in a jam. He could feel it start to loosen from the wall, but he just needed a little bit more strength.

The thot army witnessed what was occurring and made a chain of people all holding onto Rip and pulling for dear life. All 250 thots pulled on each other like a reverse conga line and stretched all the way out the door and down the brown brick road.

Then it happened. The rod broke free from the wall and was betwixt Rip's bum cheeks. As(s) everyone cheered, Serious Black Ass, Thotter, Whoremione, and Rip crowd surfed out of the prison and onto the street.

"I've been waiting for you!" Voldewhoret said. "Unhand the Toilet Paper Rod!"

"Good luck getting it, it's still betwixt Rips bumcheeks!"

"I am not afraid of Rip's bumcheeks," Voldewhoret said. "Unless he's been eating Taco Bell again lol, that would be nas(s)ty."

"You'll never get the Toilet Paper Rod as(s) long as I live," Serious Black Ass said. "And you will never get your ass back after what you did."

"I only crushed, like, fifty orphans with my ass, it's not that bad. Who among us hasn't crushed orphans with their ass?"

"Et bootis realmis!" Harry Thotter said, casting a spell that banished Voldewhoret to the Booty Realm for 24 hours.

"Yaaas!" all the thots said.

"Let's go back to the Chamber of Thots," Thotter said.

"Yes, we must take the Toilet Paper Rod to the other Whorecruxes so that it can undergo its Transformation."

The thot army then skipped merrily down the black brick road that led away from the prison.