IKIGAI

Page II

"That's not how it happened, Kagome!"

Your released shout made its way across the valley. Given the place we are at, and the height of the hill, I am sure even the elderly Kaede heard your words.

"You don't need to shout, I'm right here." I clarify with a certain calm that found place inside me after Moroha's birth.

"I'm not shouting! I'm not shouting." You seem to understand that indeed you are, and lower your voice, only to shake the notebook in your hand and hit it with the other. "How can you say this?" You point at the words.

"What?" I ask, as I had our daughter the cloth ball she throws at me, seated on the grass in front of me.

"... at the start, I was afraid, to be in the middle of a tribe of wolves wasn't comfortable, I even thought they'd eat me. Yet Kouga was good to me despite its roughness and he seemed to see qualities in me no one had mentioned before." You read. "How could you say no one?"

"You are going to frighten Moroha." I insist with a hint of reproach. The girl seems calm, at least, maybe she adapts to us better than I expect.

"Kagome." You complain, you don't want to let go of whatever is bothering you.

"What part?" I look at you.

"... seemed to see qualities in me no one had mentioned before." You read again.

"Ah, that." I receive the ball Moroha has thrown at me almost by crawling on the blanket, only to sit again but this time, closer to me. "It's true, no one had said that to me before."

I hear you hold back a huff, or a shout, or a growl, or all of them, which become trapped inside your chest and throat. I don't want to look at you because I know I'll start to laugh, sure that right now your features must be going from red to blue. Finally, I hear you release the air with so much force the breeze moves my hair resting on my back.

"I did tell you what I saw in you, the ones I liked." You sound even hurt. I look at you then.

"When?" I question, sure of being right. "Many times you've told me beautiful things, but not back then."

You stay quiet for a long while.

"That time... I told you I liked to see you smile and that I felt relieved when I was with you." Your voice comes as soft, even delicate, as if you kept that feeling safe and quite deeply.

"When?" I ask with surprise, I don't remember.

You look at me, then you release the air through your nose, and I manage to see in your eyes that love I discovered by pieces until it became ferrous and unmovable.

"It's true." You smile ruefully. "In that moment, you fell asleep."

You close the notebook and leave the topic as resolved in a way I don't quite get. Your gaze falls on Moroha and you sit on the grass beside her, then you extend a hand and allow her to hold one of your fingers. You contemplate her as if the girl was the nexus where all of our shared acts of love flow to, and in my chest, an "I love you" begins to bubble up until I can't but say it.

"InuYasha..."

"Kagome!" You smile, and from that gesture you go straight into a hearty laugh.

Our daughter has stood up on her own, for the first time, using your finger as her sole support.

A/N

I'm liking quite a lot to build these moments, feeling like they deserve to be a family.

Thank you for reading, and keeping me company.

Anyara.

This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart