Chapter 19

There was a persistent ringing and Shepard tried to ignore it. But it never stopped. Shepard refused to open her eyes, groaning in frustration as she tried to figure out what could be causing the noise. She then could feel a body moving against her own. Her eyes snapped open as she looked around, forgetting where she was for the briefest of moments. She then heard Liara muttering, feeling her hand clutching onto her t-shirt.

Shepard flushed as she looked down, seeing Liara push her head further into her chest. Liara then further wrapped her arm around Shepard's waist. Liara muttered something once more, though Shepard couldn't figure out what she had said. Shepard could even feel Liara's leg tangled up against her own and she flushed.

Ah yes, the ringing. Shepard looked to her right trying to reach over to the night stand without disturbing Liara too much. Liara only held onto Shepard a bit tighter as she moved. While Shepard was almost content to just lay her like this, she knew she would eventually have to move.

Shepard tried to reach once more for the insistently ringing terminal but was unsuccessful. The asari refused to let her go and it only caused Shepard to blush even more. "Li, I gotta move." Shepard said, still groggy from her sleep, but chuckling a bit nervously. Liara's eyes suddenly fluttered open, shock registering on her face as she quickly released Shepard.

"Goddess, I'm so sorry!" Liara said, her voice panicked. Shepard just gave her a half lopsided smile and shook her head. Liara flushed deeply as she untangled herself from the mercenary. Liara was embarrassed that she had been clinging to the mercenary in her sleep.

Shepard swallowed hard as she finally reached over pressing the answer button. "Yeah?" She asked, her voice still hoarse. She couldn't even remember falling asleep. She looked over to Liara who continued to fret on the other side of the bed. Now Shepard felt bad, she hadn't meant to embarrass the archaeologist.

"Yes, we noticed that it was close for your check out time. We just wanted to make sure you were still on the premises before we sent up house keeping." A woman's voice said over the speaker. Shepard looked around looking for a clock. She spotted one on the other side of the room. It was nearly noon Citadel time.

Shepard ran her hand through her messy hair. "Yeah, sorry we just woke up. We'll be down in a moment." Shepard said. The woman on the other end thanked her and the call ended. Shepard scooted to the edge of the bed, swinging her legs over before she stretched her arms and legs. "Shit, I didn't even realize I fell asleep." Shepard said with a short chuckle.

She looked over her shoulder, seeing Liara still fretting, her cheeks a pretty shade of violate. "I am so sorry, Nicole, I did not mean to fall asleep. Let alone on top of you." She stammered. Shepard gave Liara an assuring smile. But Liara still felt awkward for having done it. She knew it was unintentional as she was asleep. And Shepard seemed calm about it. But she could not help her embarrassment bubbling to the surface.

Still it had felt... Well nice. She hadn't slept that well since before the beacon. She pondered if Shepard had anything to do with her sleeping so well. As if the mercenary's presence had relaxed her enough.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I fell asleep too. Did you sleep alright at least?" Shepard asked before she stood, scooping up the mostly empty pizza box. Liara gave Shepard a shy nod, unable to make eye contact still analyzing the situation in her mind.

Liara finally smiled a bit, however. "Yes, actually... I did not have any more visions from the beacon." She said. It was perhaps her first full night of undisturbed sleep since Eden Prime. Shepard smiled brightly as she tossed the pizza box into a trash can in the room.

"Good, glad to hear it. You needed the rest." Shepard said as she motioned for the door. "We should probably get out of here before the hotel staff have a melt down." Shepard said as Liara raised a brow, standing from her bed.

"Why would they... Oh Goddess, you are joking." Liara then said, putting a hand to her forehead. Sometimes Nicole's jokes flew over her head. Especially if she said them with a straight face as she just had. Shepard laughed as she opened the door, letting Liara out first, following right behind her.


They had made their way back to the Normandy in silence. Shepard had received a message that her shipment of the items she ordered should be there by now. Shepard was excited to take a look at the new gear she got for her crew. But for now Shepard escorted Liara back to her room.

Liara stopped short of her door as she spun around, facing the human. "Thank you, Nicole. Yesterday was..." She paused trying to find the right word. "It was wonderful." She said, giving Shepard those bashful eyes. Shepard gave her a smile, her heart fluttering once again in her chest. She willed for it to stop, but it refused.

"I figured you deserved a nice day out." Shepard said simply. Liara flashed Shepard a dazzling smile. A smile that Shepard had never really seen before. It gave Shepard the butterflies yet again. She couldn't help but marvel the smile on Liara's face. It had somehow made her even more gorgeous than before, and Shepard honestly didn't think that possible.

Liara then gathered the courage to lean forwad, planting a quick kiss on the mercenary's cheek quickly before she stood back. They both looked at each other for a split moment, Shepard's eyes wide in surprise. Liara's cheeks turned a darker shade of blue, feeling surprised herself before she suddenly turned around, feeling like retreating before she embarrassed herself further.

Shepard stood there, stunned for the briefest of moments. But when Liara spun around Shepard didn't know what came over her. Well she knew... But she didn't know why she acted on it. She reached out quickly, snapping out of her dazed state and gently grabbing Liara's arm before she got too far. Liara froze, feeling her stomach muscles tighten, unsure of what to expect.

Shepard couldn't stop herself as she suddenly pulled Liara in closer, their eyes meeting. Liara's eyes were so bashful. Looking to Shepard's own with questions, and perhaps a bit of hope. Shepard also looked back into Liara's eyes, feeling hesitant, but also questioning. They didn't say a thing. And it felt like the moment lasted ages, but in reality it was only a mere few seconds.

"Nicole?" Liara asked, breaking their awkward silence. Shepard finally decided to swallow her insecurities. She suddenly felt stupid thinking she could hide her feelings for Liara. Or even keep a distance. She realized it was futile to try. After having finally told Liara the truth, how she felt, she wasn't able to bottle it up again.

In fact it was the opposite. She craved for Liara's presence. Her company, the shy smiles, the sound of her voice. Just everything. She couldn't keep away if she tried. Not that she had tried. She felt a pang in her chest, a sort of longing she had never felt before.

Shepard said nothing but grabbed Liara by the waist gently, but tugging her in a bit more desperately. Liara flushed as her hands rested on the mercenary's shoulders, looking at her with those big blue eyes. As Shepard had started to duck her head in, ready to take the plunge the med bay door opened. Chakwas saw the display before her, but never stopped walking, heading for her desk, clearing her throat.

Shepard stopped short, yanking back in surprise, her cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. Liara's cheeks almost matched Shepard's, only instead of red they were violate. Shepard's stomach did a violent flop, knowing she was caught mid act. She cursed internally has she knew in that instant her barriers went back up in full swing, insecurities returning to the forefront of her mind.

"I do not mean to interrupt, I just needed a couple things." Chakwas said with a grin. She grabbed a couple data pads, turning to see the two women before her, both having physically separated, both looking embarrassed. It was like catching children with their hands in the cookie jar, Chakwas mused. "I must also ask that you take more intimate activities outside of my med bay, please." She teased.

Shepard took a deep breath, clearing her throat. "I uh.. uhm.. I have some stuff to take care of anyway." Shepard stammered.

"I should be doing some research." Liara also said, bringing a hand to her forehead, trying to hide her embarrassment. They both quickly spun around, going in opposite directions. Chakwas smiled as she shook her head. Young love, she thought to herself. Always awkward, clumsy, but definitely adorable.

Chakwas quickly followed Shepard out of the med bay. "Shepard." She said as Nicole stopped, still trying to suppress her furious blush. "May I speak with you on a more personal basis?" She asked as Shepard slowly turned to face the elder woman. She shrugged some, looking a little flustered. Shepard had been so close. So close to just giving in, taking the chance. And now she didn't know what she was doing. Part of her wondered if the universe didn't want her to have anything nice.

Shepard finally threw up her arms part way with a shrug. "You gonna analyze me like Ashley?" Shepard questioned, her frustration evident. Chakwas smiled kindly however, shaking her head.

"More like play Mother Hen." Chakwas replied. Shepard sighed, looking a little defeated but gestured for the woman to ask her question. Chakwas gave a pause, thinking of how to put it. "When you and Liara first came aboard the Normandy she said you were just friends. I wonder if the relationship has evolved since?" Chakwas asked.

Shepard sighed as she gestured over to the mess hall tables. Chakwas nodded as they both moved over to one table, taking a seat across from each other. "I dunno. I mean yes, but I've... I've never felt like this about anyone, and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid she'll get bored and leave. Or something will happen to her and I won't know how to handle it. I'm afraid of losing her." Shepard said honestly. She felt like she needed someone to talk to. Someone to help her sort out the mess in her head.

Chakwas listened patiently, nodding her understanding. "I will not pretend I know much about you, but I will guess you've lost people in your life, Shepard. You're a mercenary I'm sure it's happened by now." Chakwas said, sounding a mix of professional and motherly.

Shepard shrugged but nodded. "More or less." She admitted, but didn't want to go into detail with anyone at this point. Liara was... well perhaps she was an exception, when Shepard had told her about her family. But right now? No one else needed to know.

Chakwas gave Shepard a kind smile. "Listen, I'm going to be blunt with you." Chakwas said, though still sounding friendly enough. "You could die tomorrow. Or she might. She came close with that beacon on Eden Prime." Chakwas went on. Shepard's brows furrowed as the events of Eden Prime flashed through her mind. The way Liara had screamed when the beacon had interacted with her. It shook Shepard to the core. "Point is, none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, dear. What will you regret more if something happens to Liara?" She asked.

Shepard's brows furrowed further, looking at Chakwas questioningly. Chakwas sighed some. "Will you regret you kept yourself at arms length? Or that you were involved with her, however long or brief that may be?" Chakwas spelled out. Shepard's eyes grew wide as she had never considered that before. "Either way, Shepard, I see how you two look at each other. You both long for each other, and yet you both hesitate. If something happens to her tomorrow, or the day after, next week, next year, you will feel her loss. You will regret never having given a relationship a chance. And that will hurt just as much, if not more." Chakwas finished.

Shepard was at a loss of words. She didn't think that far ahead. She felt if she had ignored her growing feelings, the growing closeness between her and Liara the future would be fine. But now? What if what Chakwas said happened? "I would regret not having been with her." Shepard said quietly. Chakwas reached over, patting the younger woman on the hand a few times before standing from the table.

Chakwas smiled at her kindly once more. "The choice is yours, Shepard. But if I were in your shoes? I would take the chance. And who knows, you two may be together for a lifetime. Or it may end before a lifetime can be reached. Either way, you will always wonder, years from now, why you did not give her or yourself a chance if you never take it." Chakwas said before she turned and walked away.

Shepard remained seated in the mess hall, looking towards the med bay. She had to process what she was just told. She needed to think, sort it all out. But she knew, bottom of her heart, Chakwas was probably right. It still didn't make getting passed her insecurities any easier.


I know a short chapter, I am sorry. I've had a rough week, and not a lot of time to myself or anything else. I tried to work on this chapter a little during moments I had the energy for it but I also had to rework it a few times. I next chapter should hold a bit more excitement and action, as our favorite Normandy crew goes forth to shoot the bad guys lol.

Until then.