A/N new chapter! Halloween episode. Fitting since October is right around the corner. Hope you enjoy.
Aisling sighed as she tapped her foot on the floor watching the clock as it ticked closer to the time she could go, the therapist was on her notepad open in front of her.
"I'm sorry," Aisling said,
"Sorry?"
"For wasting your time."
"You're not wasting my time." Dr. Cynthia Davis: her therapist – blonde blonde-haired woman, with dark brown eyes and looking every bit as professional as she could – Said. "I know some clients need some time to get their thoughts in order, and I am trying to give you the space to do that, but if you would rather I ask questions – I can do that too."
Aisling looked out the window, "OK." She said.
If Dr. Davis had issues with her looking out the window she didn't say anything about it, "How was your week?" She asked.
Aisling sighed and turned away from the window and looked back to her therapist, "I'm grounded."
Her therapist nodded, "Why."
There were days that Aisling believed that her therapist would make a killing a poker, the woman was very, very good at masking her emotions. Some days it annoyed Aisling other days it made Aisling feel safe to reveal what she was about to, "I Stormed out of my car and toward a frat house that likely had a demon summoning ritual going on." Aisling winced, "I know how that sounds, I swear I'm not suicidal."
"Didn't say you were." Her therapist said, "However, I'd be lying if I didn't say that that was… concerning."
"He just makes me so mad sometimes." Aisling sighed, "He acts like I'm incapable of defending myself. He's been teaching me self-defence since I was 8. It's like he thinks that that means nothing. Like he thinks I'm still the same 7-year-old he had to rescue almost 10 years ago"
"So, you stormed off to prove him wrong?" Her therapist asked.
"No – I don't know – Probably." Aisling looked at her therapist and sighed. "Yeah. Definitely."
Dr. Davis didn't say anything, she'd only been helping Aisling out for a few weeks but had dealt with her long enough to know when Aisling was about to go off. Aisling didn't waste any time before going off on a tangent "I know how dangerous that is, especially with a psycho like… her on the loose. Everything is just spinning out of control, and I can't do a damn thing about any of it. Buffy is the Slayer but she's 16 outside of the superpowers she's still a kid. Drusilla is a monster who wants her 'family' back and can and will force people under her thrall to get them to do whatever she wants. My dad's weakened and dying and not getting any better and my friends are constantly putting themselves in danger and me just…"
"What some control." Her therapist asked softly.
Aisling looked down at her knees for a long time, her latest tangent having exhausted her, "I'm 16 years old." She whispered softly looking back up at her therapist, "I've grown from that little scared seven-year-old… so why do I still feel like her?"
Her therapist said nothing for a moment then she put down her notepad. "Because she's still a part of you." Dr. Davis said. "You may not like her at the moment. But she's still there and she still feels scared and powerless."
"I wish she'd go away."
"That's the thing about inner children." Dr. Davis said, "They don't… all you can do is just… learn to love her and live with her. Take the things about her that you love and cherish and incorporate them into your life."
"I don't think there's anything about her that's good," I whisper. "She… if it hadn't been for seven-year-old brain running off when…" I look away. "I wouldn't have met Drusilla."
"No." Dr. Davis said, "But it was because of that seven-year-old that Spike grew to love you isn't it?"
"Perhaps."
Dr. Davis leaned back. "Unfortunately, your time is almost up for today." She said, "And we do need to re-ground you before you leave. However, there is something I want you to try and think about for our next session."
Aisling nodded and waited.
"Try to think of some good things that your childlike self did." Dr. Davis. "Not some good memories… but just some decent attributes that she had – that you still have now."
Aisling opened her mouth.
"No. Not now." Dr. Davis said. "But it's something I want you to think about when you're at home."
Aisling stared at her therapist for a long moment before she nodded and straightened in her seat. "I'll try."
Aisling took a deep breath as she exited the Psychiatric facility, she didn't feel all happy and sunshiny, but she did feel stable enough to get home.
At least until she turned and saw Angel leaning under a streetlight.
"How in the-" She started. "Who the fuck told you anythin'? I know it wasn't Da'. He wouldn't go behind my back like that."
"Aisling—"
Aisling glared at him, "I just finally grounded myself after pouring my heart into a therapist. What the fuck are you doin' 'ere?"
"Ash –"
Aisling glared at him as she made her way to the black Desoto. "Seriously. How did you know where I'd be? It was still daytime when I left."
"You mentioned to Buffy that you take therapy," Angel said. "She… mentioned it to me."
Aisling rolled her eyes, "Of course, she did, nothing can be just a secret between friends." she said. "I don't want to talk to you."
"I know. But your father doesn't want you heading home alone."
"And how exactly would you know that?" Aisling said unlocking the car and getting inside. "Gosh. I was just discussing being grounded and now I'm going to have to mention you at my next session. Why can't you just leave me alone?"
"I…"
"I don't just hate you 'cause Spike does," Aisling said as she started the car. "I hate you because of what you did to., her," Aisling said. "Your Masterpiece."
Angel flinched. "Ash…"
Aisling sighed. "You were a soulless heartless bastard. I get it. You had no conscience. And yet Spike… the renowned slayer of slayers had more of a heart than you ever did." Aisling said. "You may see yourself as better than Da'. But in my eyes, you will always be second place." Aisling slammed the car door shut and sped off before Angel could make a single retort.
"Angel visited me at the psychiatric facility," Aisling said as she entered the house dumping the keys and her backpack onto the table. "Wish I could just stake the fucking bastard but –" She looked up to see Spike sitting on the couch looking out of it.
"Da'?"
Spike looked up his face looking haggard. A soft and weak smile on his face. "Hey, Princess."
Aisling looked at him concerned. "Are you alright?"
Spike nodded, "Just… a little weaker today."
Aisling turned to the kitchen. "When did you last eat?"
"20 minutes ago."
Aisling stared at him. "Bagged blood isn't helping anymore, is it?"
Spike hesitated, "It's fine Princess."
Aisling looked down at her wrist. "Da'"
Spike's tone shifted, "No" Spike all but growled shaking his head. "No. I'll not have you as food princess."
Aisling stared up at him, "If it helps…"
"We don't know that it will," Spike said desperately, he started to stand to move away from her, but he swayed, and Aisling had to dart over to steady him. "And if I start… there's a very good chance given how weak I am that I won't stop."
"That's a risk—"
"That I don't want to take, Ash. No."
Aisling looked at her frustrated. "There has to be something to do," Aisling said. "We… we can't just—"
Aisling felt Spike's arms wrap tightly around her. "Princess" He whispered. "Whatever happens you will not be alone." He whispered holding her as tightly as he could. "I'll make sure of it.
Aisling shook her head, "You can't promise that" She whispered. "You're not… her you can't see the future."
"I promise you, Ash," Spike vowed. "You. Will not. Be left alone."
Aisling hugged him. "Don't die." She whispered. "Just… just keep yourself alive until we figure something out."
"I will," Spike said. "I promise you. I will."
"Good." Aisling held out her arm. "Papa please." She whispered as Spike started to shake his head and back away. "Please. I trust you."
"You're not food!" Spike yelled at him, his eyes flashing amber for a split moment. "You're my kid. And I am not that far gone, nor that desperate to take blood from my little girl! Bagged blood will keep for now."
"But-!" Aisling tried to reason but Spike cut her off.
"No," Spike said his face hard. "I refuse to make a meal of my little girl."
"Vampire families share blood all the time." Aisling tried to reason.
"We wouldn't be sharin' blood, princess," Spike said. "I'd be taken yours and you'd been given nothing in return. Not to mention that Sire's don't take from their Childes anyway."
"Spike—"
"No," Spike said. "Bagged blood or nothing."
Aisling rolled her eyes and turned back toward the Kitchen. "You're being ridiculous."
"No. I'm being a father." Spike said. "You're the one that's being ridiculous. And I'll know if you try to sneak your blood into my mug."
Aisling sighed, "Fine." She huffed, "Regular expired human blood mixed with orangutan. Shall I add Weetabix too?"
Spike laughed. "Yes, sweet."
"Hey, Buffy." Aisling said as she strolled right up beside Buffy, "Saw Angel outside the psych facility yesterday as I was leaving my appointment." She fiddled idly with the sleeves over her leather jacket.
Buffy winced, "Yeah… I… you mentioned having a meeting there after school."
Aisling huffed. "I told you that under the strictest confidence. Don't do that again. Now I have to contemplate moving my sessions to different days no thanks to you. Angel has no business knowing what I do,"
Buffy contemplated her words for a moment, "I mean… isn't he like… technically your adopted great grandfather, Given he's Spike's grandsire?"
Aisling stopped and stared at Buffy like she'd grown a third head, "I want you to think… very, very hard on Angel's past relationships and why what you said is very wrong."
Buffy looked at her confused, before her face started to tinge green. "Oh Oh." She shook her head, "I am… ugh. So sorry. Ignore all the words. Just no."
Aisling couldn't help herself, she chuckled as they met up with Willow and Xander. They passed straight by Snyder who was forcing people to sign something on a clipboard. "What's happening?" Aisling asked looking at the spectacle as one girl was complaining of having to go to class while Snyder shoved the clipboard in her hands.
"Snyder must be in charge of the volunteer safety program for Halloween this year," Willow explained as they walked passed him.
"Note his interesting take on the volunteer concept," Xander said.
"What's the deal?" Buffy asked curiously.
"A bunch of little kids need people to take them trick or treating," Xander explained leaning against the lockers while Willow fiddled with her locker lock. "Sign up and get your own pack of Sugar-Hyped little runts.
Aisling's eyes lit up, "Oooh there was something similar like that when I lived in Iowa." She said.
"You lived in Iowa for a time?" Buffy asked surprised. "Must have been boring."
Aisling shrugged, "Was babysat often by this high schooler. He partook in the Halloween thing – it's how we met he was my group leader for the time." Her eyes went a bit distant. "We moved at the end of the year… I wonder how's doing now, he has to be in college at the moment, though last I heard he also had desires to join the military too – wonder if that's changed at all…"
"Even still…" Buffy said. "I think I'll stick to vampires."
Aisling giggled, just as Snyder stepped up. Aisling's stomach plummeted.
"Ms. Summers, Just the juvenile delinquent I've been looking for."
Buffy gave a nervous smile, "Principal Snyder—"
"Halloween must be a big night for you: tossing eggs, keying cars, bobbing for apples. One pathetic cry for help after another. Well—" Snyder gave a grin that practically screamed 'You're going to do something do something you'll hate' "—not this year missy,"
"Oh Gosh," Buffy said sporting her best fake innocent look, Aisling was biting her lip to avoid laughing, "I'd love to sign up, But I recently developed carpal tunnel syndrome and can tragically no longer hold a flashlight."
Aisling attempted to hide the snort of laughter (and given Snyder's glare she could tell that he'd noticed). He turned back to Buffy, "The program starts at 4, the children have to be back at 6—" he said giving Buffy the signup sheet. Buffy grabbed the pen from Snyder and started signing.
Then Snyder handed pens to the rest of her friends.
"I can't," Aisling said when Snyder tried to hand her a pen.
Snyder raised an eyebrow. "And why not?"
"I'm grounded," Aisling said.
Snyder rolled his eyes, "I'm sure your doting father will allow you out on Halloween to tote around little kids for a couple of hours."
"But—"
"Sign." Snyder said, "Or, I'll give you detention until school lets out for the summer."
Aisling glared at Snyder. "You'd do well as Ferengi." She muttered under her breath as she signed the sheet next. Xander snorted beside her hiding the laugh at her joke.
"What was that," Snyder asked, looking between the three of them. His eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Nothing," Aisling said handing the clipboard to Xander. "Nothing at all."
"I can't believe this," Xander exclaimed as they walked down the hallway. "We have to get dressed up and the whole deal?"
"Snyder said costumes were mandatory," Willow said.
"I like dressing up for Halloween." Aisling said, "It's fun gettin' into the whole thing. Plus, it's the one night a year where da' isn't completely anal about keeping me safe."
"You're telling me, I was looking forward to staying in and vegging. The one night a year where things are supposed to be quiet for me." Buffy said annoyed.
"Halloween quiet?" Xander asked confused, "I figured it would be a big ol' vamp scareapalooza."
"Nah." Aisling said, "Most demons find Halloween to be a trite…" Aisling scrunched up her nose as she looked for the right word. "Lame."
"Yeah, Giles swears that it's like… dead for the undead. They stay in." Buffy said.
"So did you never go trick or treating?" Xander asked Aisling. "That's sad, every child should enjoy free candy."
"I went trick or treating every Halloween till I was 13 Xander," Aisling said rolling her eyes.
Xander looked at her confused, "But you just said—"
Aisling laughed, "What you thought Da' was going to let his dislike of something get in the way of spending time with his daughter? Or his daughter's right to get free Candy?" Aisling shook her head, "Free Candy is free Candy Xan."
"Wacky vamp fathers," Xander said with some barely concealed ire. "Just keep everyone guessing don't they." He said as placed his messenger bag and down and headed toward the vending machine."
Aisling rolled her eyes before turning back to Willow and Buffy. "He going to get over his irrational dislike of my dad anytime soon?"
Buffy sighed and gently patted her arm. "Doubt it, Ash."
"Hey… at least you'll be able to go out tonight," Willow said, trying to lighten the mood. "You're dad can't possibly take issue with you doing volunteer work can he?"
Aisling laughed bitterly, "Yes, he can. Especially if he finds out I didn't actually volunteer." Aisling leaned back in her chair. "Dad and I have issues with me being forced to do things against my will least this time it's good old-fashioned blackmail."
Buffy winced, "Cause of…"
Aisling sighed, "Yeah. Her." She traced the scars that she knew were underneath her coat. "Hard to say no to someone when they can just… thrall you."
"Must have been ugly," Buffy said sympathetically.
Aisling nodded before she eyed Xander at the soda vending machine "Uh-oh." She said.
Buffy looked behind her to see Xander and the school bully Larry about to go at it. Without thinking and before anyone could say anything about Buffy stepped in and stopped Larry from pummeling Xander.
Which… Xander was not pleased about given how he and Buffy argued as they both walked back to the table.
"—Maybe in 15-20 years when my rep for being a sissy-man finally fades."
"Xander, don't you think—" Buffy started before Xander cut her off.
"A black eye heals Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life." Xander said "Oh thanks. Thanks a lot for your help." Xander said before he grabbed his bag and stormed off.
Buffy watched as Xander walked off before turning back to Aisling and Willow.
"Ooh," Buffy said sitting back down. "I think I just violated the guy code big time."
Willow shook her head sympathetically, "Poor Xander. Boys are so fragile."
"Think that's half the problem," Aisling said.
Buffy and Willow turned to stare at Aisling. "What do you mean?"
Aisling turned to the two of them she bit her lip as though trying to decide if she should speak her mind, and then she sighed, "It's not always easy being in the shadow of someone with superpowers, Buffy."
Buffy and Willow looked at Aisling confused.
Aisling looked down. "You love them, and want what's best, but they have superstrength, and agility, and speed, and you're just… not that. You have human strength, and human speed and human agility and while it may be faster, stronger, and more agile than the average person with all the training you've done…" Aisling looked up at Buffy. "You'll never catch up."
Buffy stared at Aisling in surprise.
Aisling shook her head. "I'm just saying… it's not your fault you're strong. But sometimes… sometimes us weaker ones… we need to fight our own battles… just to prove we can."
Buffy stared at Aisling, "I don't think Xander has ever trained to fight."
Aisling shook her head, "My point still stands." She looked at Buffy, "Wanting to protect your friends is a good thing, Buffy. But… maybe next time give Xander a chance to punch back."
There was silence for a moment as Aisling realized that she had just ruined the moment, and she felt her cheeks flush. "Ok… someone change the subject and make me forget that I just… embarrassed myself. Please?"
"Uh…" Willow shook her head and turned to Buffy. "You had a date night with Angel last night. How was it."
"That works." Aisling sighed leaning forward and turning her attention to Buffy.
Buffy gave Aisling an unimpressed look, "Misfire. I was late due to an unscheduled slayage. Showed up looking trashed."
Aisling winced, her views on Buffy dating Angel aside that had to suck. "Was he mad?" Willow asked.
"Better not have been," Aisling muttered.
"Actually, he was pretty unmad." Buffy said faux perky attitude, "Which probably had something to do with the fact that Cordelia was drooling in his Cappuccino."
Aisling's eyes widened. "No."
"Oh, Buffy, Angel would never fall for her act."
"You mean that actually show up wearing a stunning outfit, embracing personal hygiene act?" Buffy said.
"You do wear stunning outfits," Aisling said gesturing to her clothes. "And you want Angel to appreciate you for you, don't you?"
"Yeah." Willow said, "Cordelia's not his type anyway."
"Are you sure? I mean, I don't know what his type is."
"Think we can extrapolate based on his last known girlfriend," Aisling muttered. "Darla."
Willow and Buffy turned to Aisling, "Ok… one. I'm nothing like her. And two… how do you know of her?"
"Spike's part of the Master's sire line." Aisling said, "Course I know who Darla is. Spike spoke about her sometimes. Apparently, she had a duality to her."
"Duality?"
"Yeah, Strong… but motherly." Aisling said, "Enjoyed both being dominating and being dominated." Aisling shook her head, "According to Spike anyway. The last time he saw her was around…" Aisling wrinkled her nose. "1930s?"
"I have 0 desire to emulate Darla," Buffy said disgusted,
"Hey… wait." Willow said, "Angel's Irish isn't he."
"… As far as I'm aware," Aisling said not at all liking where this was going.
"And you're Irish…"
Aisling did not like where this was going – at all. "Astute observation," she said dryly.
"So… maybe you can tell us… what the girls of Ireland are like."
Aisling chuckled. "I could maybe teach you a phrase in Irish. However… what the girls there are like…? Sorry. I haven't been there for any significant length of time since I was 8 and over a year before that I was locked up in one way or another."
Buffy and Willow looked at each other before turning back to Aisling "You said you were in a Psych facility." Willow asked tentatively.
Aisling nodded. "Issues with the whole… 'Saying there are vampires when no one believes vampires exist' thing."
Buffy patted Aisling's hand. "Glad you got out anyway." She said. Then she turned back to Willow. "Still loved to have an idea what his type is. I've known him less than a year and if you haven't noticed, He's not exactly one to overshare."
"True. It's too bad we can't sneak a look at the Watcher Diaries and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell,"
"Yeah." Buffy said the look in her eyes screaming 'plan.' "It's too bad. That stuff is private."
"Also, Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files. Most importantly it would be wrong."
Aisling normally would have been against anything that helped Buffy and Angel's relationship except for the fact that getting into Gile's office was something she had desperately wanted to do anyway so she kept her mouth shut.
Buffy and Willow stared at each other barely suppressing their grins as they stood up and hurried off.
Aisling stifled her own smile as she hurried after them to the library.
Aisling, Buffy and Willow looked through the window of the library door sharing a look before Aisling and Buffy carefully entered the room.
Aisling and Buffy both gave idle glances before walking with purpose to his office.
"Buffy. Excellent." Aisling and Buffy both jumped at hearing Buffy's name being called.
"Nothing.," Buffy said quickly before correcting herself. "Hi."
Aisling rolled her eyes but said nothing about it.
Giles gave a quick confused smile before he continued talking, "I just wanted to talk to you about tomorrow night." Giles said. "As it should be calm, I thought we might work on some new battle techniques."
"That'll be hard," Aisling said, inching more towards Giles' office. "Given Buffy was voluntold for the Halloween thing the school is hosting."
"Oh yes… but that won't last the whole night so surely after 6 you could…."
"Honestly," Buffy said cutting him off sounding a touch agitated, "You're beginning to scare me, Giles, you need to have some fun." She turned to Aisling and gestured her into the room.
Aisling hated the idea of helping Buffy and Angel but… she sighed and entered the office, maybe she could also find information on ways to help her father too. She turned to the office and looked around, looking through different books and papers as outside Buffy tried to distract Giles.
A moment or two after she entered, Willow hurried in and started looking around with her.
She looked around at each book, looking for 'Angelus' or something on vampiric healing when her eyes came across the name 'Du Lac'. Her eyes widened as she remembered Drusilla's words from Parent Teacher Night.
"What is it."
Aisling turned wide-eyed at Willow. "I…" She swallowed and hid the book behind her. "I came across something that crazy vampire mentioned back at parent teach night."
"Drusilla?" Willow asked softly.
Aisling resisted the urge to flinch. "Yeah."
"I wouldn't put much stalk into it." Willow said waving the idea away like it was an errant fly, "She's insane after all."
Aisling laughed, "Yeah."
Willow nodded, "Anyway…" She said holding up a book. "Found what we were looking for – let's go."
Aisling hesitated for a moment, but she looked to see that Buffy was running out of things to say (Currently stuck on telling Giles that Ms. Calendar thought Giles was a 'hunk' and what he thought of that.
Aisling gave one last look in the office and with regret hurried from the room. IT wasn't wise to follow the words of a crazy vampire when the Slayer's friends were right there.
Fuck.
A/N I know there will probably be a few people who don't like Aisling taking Xander's side here. But her POV to me just makes the most sense given how she was raised and who she was raised by. Jury's out if you believe her perspective to be right or wrong.
