Josh's POV

It was Saturday morning and I was outside. Super early but I needed to clear my thoughts. I was up all night thinking about what Rowan said to me. I didn't think of Sabrina as a kid. I don't know why I kept calling her kid but it wasn't cool of me. She deserved better. Rowan helped me see what was already deep down. I knew she was right and I found myself on my way to Sabrina's house. I had to make things right with her. I wanted her to know me and I wanted to know her. I walked up to her door and knocked. She opened the door standing there shocked.

"Can I come in?" I asked her and she stepped in so I could walk in.

"What's up?" Sabrina said, trying to be casual.

"Let's talk, okay?" I asked her and she nodded. I sat down on her couch as she stood there.

"I'm ready." She agreed to talk.

"I don't think of you as a kid." I admitted something I should have a long time before.

"You don't?" Sabrina questioned me.

"No I don't and I'm sorry for always calling you one." I apologized.

"Then why did you?" She asked me, trying to understand.

"Maybe you were right. I didn't want to get close to someone. I just didn't want to burden anyone." I told the truth.

"You are not a burden Josh!" Sabrina exclaimed.

"I have things going on that no one knows and it's difficult to talk about." I took a deep breath.

"You can tell me anything." She said with a smile.

"Sabrina, I have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy." I said looking into her eyes.

"What? What is that?" She questioned me with worry all over her face.

"It's a heart condition. My heart muscle is abnormally thick." She took my hand.

"Is it dangerous?" She sat down on the couch next to me.

"Yeah but I'm on medication to slow down my heart rate." I breathed. "I'm okay, I can pretty much do anything normal. I just have to be careful and not miss a pill." I explained to her she was scared.

"I'm so sorry, I should have left it alone." She apologized.

"No, listen, it's okay. I need to be more honest." I realized.

"I will never do anything to go against your trust."

I trusted her. "It's just hard for me sometimes." I admitted. My brother knew about my condition but he promised to be discreet. People at my old school knew about it and I didn't like the way they made me feel.

"I'm here for you." Sabrina said. "If you want me to be." I looked at her and took her hand.

"I want you to be." I smiled at her and she smiled back.

Rowan's POV

I was woken up by my phone ringing, I had a lot of missed calls. It was all from Kendall, his ring tone is louder than anyone else. He set it that way when he used my phone the other night. Kendall wanted me to always be able to hear his calls. Why was he calling me so much? I called him back worried that something was wrong.

"Hello?" I said gulping.

"What the fuck?" Kendall yelled.

"What?" I was nervous.

"You didn't call me this morning!" He exclaimed.

"I'm sorry I was sleeping!" I sat up and looked for something to wear.

"I'll be there in 5 minutes. Be ready." Kendall demanded.

I got ready really fast and brushed my teeth. I threw my hair up in a ponytail then I attempted to walk out the front door and I was stopped by my brother.

"Where are you going?" Jamie asked me with a stern look on his face.

"Out with my boyfriend." I tried to leave but was blocked.

"Not so fast." He said, looking at me. "Where?"

"Get a life." I rolled my eyes and left Jamie standing there. He thought he could parent me. I was tired of this.

I walked to Kendall's car and he was pissed off.

"I can't believe you." He growled as I got into the car.

"I'm sorry." I looked at him and he was really mad. "I was up late and I slept in." I admitted to the truth.

"Up late? Doing what? Cheating?" He accused me.

"What?" I was shocked. "I'm not cheating on you. I was up late with my uncle."

"Yeah, sure." Kendall pulled away. "I'm sure you didn't go fuck that Lucas guy."

"Are you kidding me? I'm a virgin. I've never even thought about cheating on you." I was so confused at where all of this was coming from.

"Okay fine. I'm sorry." Kendall gave in quicker than I expected and relaxed.

"Me too." I whispered quietly knowing he couldn't hear me.

We went to grab something to eat and then the store to grab stuff for his house. We pulled up in front of his house a while later. It was big and pretty.

"I love your house." I said as we walked inside.

"It's cool." He was disinterested in my words.

The house was decorated nicely. You could tell his mom was a big fan of the color yellow. Everything seemed like it was yellow, they even had yellow salt and pepper shakers. I found it odd but cute. We went up to his room and sat on his bed. His room was really big and bland. My room had color everywhere and it was just black and white with an occasional red or navy blue. I guess it was a manly room, but even my own brother's room was more colorful than this and Lucas' too. I stopped my thoughts right there as I realized I was comparing Lucas to Kendall and that wasn't fair to anyone.

"It's twice the size of my room." I said seeing that he had a couch in his room.

"I know." Kendall was on his phone and I sighed. I wanted to connect with him more now that we've gotten to know each other.

"What should we do?" I asked Kendall who looked at me with a smirk before putting his phone away.

"I have an idea or two." He grabbed my hand.

Kendall pulled me in and placed his lips onto mine. We leaned back onto his bed and he started kissing my neck before going back and kissing my lips. This was nice. He was really gentle. I put my hand on his neck. His skin was burning hot. He started kissing my neck again. I giggled and pulled his head up to kiss him again. Kendall placed his hand on my thigh. It felt overwhelming, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I realized I was having another panic attack. He moved his hand higher and I sat up really fast. He stopped and looked at me confused.

"What?" He asked, annoyed.

"I-I c-can't breath." I managed to get out and sat there trying to get through it.

"Here." Kendall handed me a glass of water he had next to us.

"Th-ank y-you." I said, sipping the water. He hugged me and held me in his arms.

"You'll be fine." He kissed my head.

Kendall was surprisingly cool about my panic attack. I was shocked he was there for me. The only person to ever see me have one is Sabrina and I didn't even tell her I was having one. She thought I was just upset. I told Kendall and he was so sweet about it. He really was a good guy unlike what people say. I'm so lucky to have him.

"Sorry about everything tonight." I said as Kendall stroked my hair.

"It's okay baby." I laid in his arms. We didn't do anything after my panic attack but watched a movie and cuddled. "I know you can't control panic attacks."

"I just don't want you to feel bad." I kissed his cheek. I've been having panic attacks every single night. I usually don't get them during the day. I didn't really give much thought into why I was having them. I chalked it up to those freaky dreams.

"I don't. You need more time before we do anything and I understand that." Kendall said, taking my hand.

"You're the best." I smiled sweetly and fell asleep in his arms.

We slept and this felt safe.


Author's Note:

I have the next few chapters written mostly there's a few things missing that I added when I started this story but I would love some predictions! It's really funny to see them especially since I've seen a few that were extremely on point. Review for more!