When I was younger I always imagined what love was like. How it would feel and what would it be like. If I would marry the love of my life, if I would have what my parents have. I can't be the only kid to have that thought in my head. When I was a kid I didn't think I would be in love with someone that would hurt me. I always made fun of the girls in movies that had abusive boyfriends and I get it now. I'm under Kendall's spell and I needed a way out but what if I'm too weak? I feel weak already. I'm not brave. I'm just me. I sighed and walked into the bathroom slowly getting out of bed. My back was throbbing I laid on two ice packs last night. Jamie thought it was for my head but I wasn't hungover. I had to pretend to be or else he would know I've been lying. Good thing I was in pain so I didn't have to fake that. I took my clothes off, and looked in the mirror. I gasped turning around my entire back was purple and blue. I feel sick. He did this to me. The rest of the weekend I laid in bed sulking in my pain. I didn't let my parents know but I told Jamie I think all the partying got to me. I also missed two days of school. I turned my phone off the whole time. I wanted to be unbothered by Kendall and if I checked my phone and saw what he was saying. I would forgive him and that's the last thing I wanted to do. My back was still achy and severely bruised. It's not as bad but the one or two bruises on my arm were gone. It's going to be a while till my back is back to normal. At least I can walk without being in extreme pain. I was going back to school this morning and I was nervous that someone would find out. I have a book bag that goes on my shoulder and I wasn't going to talk to Kendall. No matter what he does.
I got ready and met my Dad at the car. He was happy I was so called feeling better.
"Yay! You're back!" Sabrina jumped to hug me as I walked over to my locker. I screamed. "What?" She was confused.
"Sorry, uh you scared me." I didn't want to lie to her and the was the crummiest lie I've ever heard.
"Are you feeling better? I stopped by and Jamie said you got drunk." She looked around. "Since when do you drink Rowan?"
"Great. My brother needs to keep his mouth shut." I sighed.
"What's going on with you and Kendall?" She asked me. Sabrina was judging my actions.
"I got drunk because I wanted to." I lied again and again. I was surprised I hadn't become a professional yet.
"Is that also why you haven't returned any of my calls? Because you didn't want to or Kendall didn't want you to?" She asked me and it made sense.
"I turned off my phone! Why are you questioning me?" I was getting anxious.
"I miss my friend. The one that was good and honest." Sabrina sighed knowing something was off about me. "This isn't you Rowan." She looked at me and closed her locker walking to class.
I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath.
Why is this happening to me?
"Are you okay?" I heard a familiar voice and turned around.
"Lucas?" Since when is he talking to me.
Lucas' POV
I stood there wondering if Rowan was okay. She looked really sad. It looked like her and Sabrina weren't on the best terms again. I was really worried.
"You look upset." I said. "Are you ditching class?" I asked her and I noticed that it was only us in the hallway.
"I don't know anymore." She whispered.
"Do you want to go talk?" I offered and she didn't want to turn it down.
"Yes." We walked over to the area a lot of kids go to ditch class. It was only first period so no one else was here.
"What's the matter?" I said as we sat down.
"I'm not sure." She sighed. She knew what was the matter but it wasn't something was willing to talk about.
"I think you know but you can't tell me for whatever reason." Wow, I was good from the shocked look on her face.
"Okay. You got me." We half smiled at each other.
"Row, you can tell me." I rubbed her hand.
"It's Kendall." She took a deep breath. "We have a lot going on and I'm not sure if being with him is good for me."
"Why?" I wondered.
"We had a fight about something and it showed me that he wasn't the guy I thought he was." She looked up at me. Someone she once knew so well listening to her complain about another boy. "And I'm so in love with him. I don't know what to do." She cried with no tears falling.
"You have to do what's best for you." I smiled at her trying to comfort her.
It hurt me hearing how much she loved Kendall. t took everything in me not to kiss her or tell her to stay. I had to do the right thing and I know setting her free is the right thing to do. If we were meant to be she will come back to me. If not? Then I need to move on. Missy has made me really happy the past couple of weeks when all I've felt is lonely.
Rowan's POV
I didn't know what was best for me. I didn't know much of anything lately. I felt bad he was being so nice about all of this after how distance we've been. Kendall took so much out of me and from me. I've lost myself.
"How do I know what's best for me?" I wondered looking at him.
"If he isn't good enough then you know what to do but if he is still the guy you fell for somewhere in there then try and make it good again." He said rubbing my shoulder.
"Why are you being so cool about this?" I asked him.
"I love you and I want you to be happy." He admitted.
"Thank you." I hugged him.
Wow, Lucas really grew up. The advice he gave really helped me. I can try and make Kendall good again or I can set him free. I went to class feeling much better about what happened.
I saw Kendall across the room and put my head down. I could feel him looking at me the entire class period. This wasn't his regular class but he was taking some test so he probably was making up work that he missed. Did he really have to do that during my class period? As soon as class ended I got up. I tried to make it out before he got to me but I was sore so it didn't work.
"Rowan" Kendall said softly.
"What do you want?" I gulped in fear.
"To talk?" He said and took my hand. We went into some unattended classroom. "I'm sorry about what happened." He apologized again.
"I don't think you realize what you did to me. You really hurt me." I said tearing up. I took my sweater off and revealed my back.
"I-I" He was speechless.
"It was even worst the day after." I cried thinking about the pain I suffered over the weekend. I should've gone to the hospital.
"I'm I-I don't even have words to describe how sorry I am." Kendall went on saying. "Rowan, I can't believe it. I'm so sorry I did this to you." He started to cry and it shocked me.
"I know." It was the first time I seen him cry like this. It made me start balling.
We cried together. He gently took me into his arms. How can someone make me feel so safe and so scared.
Author's Note:
Reviews please and what do you think will happen next? I'm sorry if some people don't like how drawn out this relationship is but I wanted it to be realistic! To the people telling me to update without commenting on the story, it motivates me not to update lol please say more than that. I continue to enjoy the feedback of those who take the time.
