Author's Notes:
Review if you want the next chapter. They motivate me!
Rowan's POV
The party for Sabrina was going pretty great. It was nice Shawn let me help last second. It would've been a terrible thing to miss and I would have never forgave myself. Sabrina was really enjoying herself and that made me so happy. I haven't felt this good in so long that I forgot what it was like to be happy. I didn't care if I felt like shit tomorrow or next week but being genuinely happy in this moment was everything to me. It felt so nice to be gathered all together in a happy occasion. It had been so long since we all could celebrate something together without myself getting into the way. I spent most of the night with my parents. They were so giddy to see me participating. I wanted to spend more time with them. I owed so much to them and they love me so much. They're my rocks and I wouldn't be here without them.
"Having fun honey?" My dad asked me, sipping his drink as he looked over at my mom.
"Yeah I actually am for once." I laughed, they didn't.
My mom looked at me, proud. "That warms my heart sweetie." She smiled and pulled me into a hug.
"What about me?" My dad shouted, feeling left out.
We laughed. "Come on big baby." My mom opened her arm pulled us both into a big hug.
"Can't breath." I struggled to say as my mom's arm was cutting off my oxygen.
"Sorry!" She laughed as she let go. "I love you baby." She stroked my hair.
"I love you too. The both of you." I smiled at them.
"What about me?" Shawn asked as he came from behind us and gave my dad a nuggie.
"Hey! Watch the hair!" My dad demanded, Shawn rolled his eyes.
"I love all of you." I giggled, hugging my uncle Shawn.
"It's good to see you doing better Row." Shawn said, he turned to my dad. "It's time for cake."
"Oh yay!" My dad said with excitement. "I love cake." They went off and my mom followed to make sure no one gets hurt.
I looked around for Lucas but I didn't see him yet. I knew that he was here somewhere.
"Hey Row are you doing okay?" Jamie asked me as he took the seat our dad was just sitting in before he went to help Shawn with the cake.
I nodded. "I actually wanted to talk to you." I hadn't seen him since my talk with Josh. There was so much to say.
"What about?" Jamie asked, wondering what I had to say to him.
"Our last conversation I didn't say everything that I wanted to say. I was too caught up in my own mind and I want to continue that." I said feeling relieved already.
"Okay what is it?" He nodded. I could tell he was excited to see me even having a conversation with him that he wasn't cornering me to have.
"I wanted to say thank you for never judging me. I know looking after me hasn't been easy lately but you never stopped trying." I pulled my brother in for a hug. "I wouldn't have gotten through anything without your help."
"I'm so happy to hear that." Jamie pulled away, teary eyed. "I'm so proud of you Rowan." He kissed my head. "It'll be okay. You have the biggest support system ever."
"I know." I looked up at my big brother. "You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say you're proud of me."
"I've always been proud of you Rowan. You make me proud everyday." Jamie said, making me more emotional. "It means the world to me that you're opening up." He smiled at me.
"I will try to keep being as open as I can be. It's not easy but I know it's what I need to do for myself and my relationships with my family and friends." I said to my brother, I was so thankful.
Sabrina came downstairs with Josh. I went over to them after I finished talking to my brother.
"Can I steal Josh for a minute?" I asked Sabrina.
"Take him. I'm going to find Shawn to see if the cake is ready." We hugged and parted ways.
"What's up?" Josh asked me.
"I really need to thank you for what you said to me the other night. You have no idea how much you helped me." I thanked my uncle.
"That's amazing Rowan." He said, happily knowing that he got through to me.
"I was thinking about what you said about my story helping other girls like how your story helped me." I said as he nodded. "There's so many people in the world going through the things I have and they don't have the people that I do in their lives. I feel so bad for them. I've gone through hell and I'm standing here because of the people in my life." I smiled. "I knew that you were right. I have to help other people with the pain I have experienced for the girls that don't have the people in their lives that I do."
We both smiled. "I'm beyond glad that you've gotten to this place but don't credit me for all of it. You are once fucking brave girl and I'm so proud to see you overcome all that pain." He hugged me.
Shawn yelled for everyone that the cake was ready. Sabrina was so happy. We sang happy birthday to her. She blew out her candles. It was beautiful seeing her so loved and all of us as one big family. I was thankful to have these people in my life.
After we all got cake I noticed Lucas sitting alone. He looked like he wasn't having the best time. It was my fault. I knew he was hanging back on the couch not to make me uncomfortable. I knew him so well. I felt bad about ditching him the other day when all he wanted was to help me. Lucas was such a loyal friend. I knew I owed so many people apologies for my behavior but he was on the top of the list but somehow he was the last to get one.
"Are you thinking about Lucas?" Sabrina stood next to me, questioning why I was staring at Lucas.
I laughed. "Yeah. I owe him an apology." I missed him too.
"I don't buy it." She said bluntly. I looked at her, confused. "I know you have feelings for him don't you?." Sabrina grinned at me.
"No!" My eyes widened. "Sabrina I just got out of a really bad relationship." I shook my head. "That is the last thing on my mind."
"It's okay to move on Rowan." She placed her arm on my shoulder to comfort me. "You can trust Lucas and he loves you." She encouraged me.
I walked over to Lucas and sat down. He glanced over at me and then back at his feet. I placed with my hands to calm my nerves. I knew I had to break the ice and talk to him.
"Hey." I said awkwardly, hoping he would be happy to see me.
He looked over at me. "Hey. It's good to see you." Lucas kept it short knowing that I was easily annoyed lately. I couldn't blame him.
I sighed, feeling guilty for everything I put him through. "Lucas." I searched for the right words.
"What's going on?" He asked me. His face full of confusion.
"There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how." I looked at this boy who saved me countless times.
He put his hand out for me, I took it. "You do know how. It's just me and you know you can say anything to me." He rubbed my hand.
I felt safe.
"I'm sorry. I haven't been treating you right." I tucked my hair behind my ears, finding the courage to be honest with him.
"It's okay Rowan." He said in support but it wasn't okay. Lucas did so much for me and I should've treated him better. I'm so glad I finally realized.
"No it's not okay." I paused, anxiety filled my body. "It's been really hard dealing with all the pain and I took that out on the people that love me the most."
"No one is blaming you for it Rowan." He said watching the emotion on my face. I nodded my head and we sat there for a moment.
I took a deep breath and let go of the anxiety. "You've always been there for me Lucas." I stated, looking at him for reassurance. "You've always cared and even when we weren't friends, when we weren't speaking, you still were there for me." My eyes watered, his face softened. "You saw me before anyone else did." I looked into his eyes as a smile formed on his handsome face. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to see you."
