Date posted: 16th July 2021

Wow, got a better reception than I first thought. Thanks for that, everyone. Now, onto the chapter!

Just a reminder, this is an AU. So if something seems off, it's off for a reason.


Chapter 2: First Impressions

The sun emerged from behind the Taurus mountains casting its warm glow on the remains of mankind's ruined cities. There wasn't even dew on what little grass there was.

Kirito awoke from his tent and breathed in the cold morning air. A cat emerged from the tent, stretching as cats are wont to do. It took him a considerable amount of willpower to not pick up the cat and give her a kiss on her little forehead.

Their campsite was hidden behind a rocky outcropping, far away from any roads. To log out outside the safety of Glocken was dangerous as player avatars were defenseless, targets for thieves and killers. But considering the distance and lack of easy fast travel, it was required. Many a newbie logged out without preparing defenses only to find themselves teleported back at SBC Glocken's cloning facility. It was entirely possible to not have any money to pay the resurrection fee and a player would need to convert real currency to in-game credits. Suffice to say, this filtered many new players.

Kirito made his way around the camp and carefully disarmed the traps he laid beforehand. He was very, very, careful with the explosives. They functioned like real landmines and he had to watch a thirty minute video on how to use the damn things. It reminded him of his first time in GGO and how terrible and unfriendly the game was to beginners. Thankfully a friendly sniper was there to lend a hand.

Nearby, Sinon watched his every move. It was amazing how the game was able to translate her facial features to that of a housecat.

"Careful! You're too close to the trigger!"

"Ah!" He almost dropped it. "You don't have to shout, you know!"

"Sorry, this psychic doohickey is still new to me." She was referring to the bracelet that hung around her neck like a collar. Kirito had a similar one on his right wrist.

This was their second day back in the game after the disastrous mission to Mutantopia. Their first day had been running around Glocken trying to find a way to have Sinon to actually talk to him outside of meowing and hissing. After paying an inordinate amount of cash to one of GGO's most successful info brokers, one Mister Garbo, they learned of an obscure quest down in the bowels of the battle cruiser.

They discussed the mission at a random cafe. "Enemy psy-wizards, huh? Shouldn't be too hard."

"Nya."

"What, I've killed one before."

Sinon used her tablet to write out a reply in the notepad app, the only way they could figure out how to communicate between themselves in-game. It was difficult considering how she had toebeans instead of fingers.

"You killed one, a low-level enemy." She herself knew of this, it was one of the beginner questlines in the game, popular among players who liked to roleplay as bounty hunters before moving on to actual players with bounties on their heads.

"C'mon, how hard can it be? Back in SAO, I've slaughtered the Black Circle wizards by myself and they had real dangerous spells too. Transformed into giant snakes and stuff."

She wasn't familiar with SAO, and almost any reference to it flew over her head. "GGO is different. This is a whole conclave of them."

"I do not fear wizards. Wizards fear me." He finished his chocolate milkshake before gathering his things. "Come on, how hard can a bunch of psychic wizards be?"

Very, he found out.

The mission involved hunting a bunch of rogue psycasters in the underbelly of SBC Glocken. The battle cruiser was eighteen kilometers long and made planetfall about half a century ago. From that, the entirety of the city of Glocken was built around it, spreading out as much in a eighty kilometer square. The control tower was transformed into a skyscraper and the main government building of the city and other buildings followed in the trend. There were other ships that made landfall around the planet, all of various sizes in various different states ruled by different styles of government. Glocken itself landed on the outskirts of the ruins of Istanbul which itself was a popular mega-dungeon for beginners, half industrial base, half dangerous ruins.

Kirito found the psycasters' hiding spot easy enough. They made their base in the city's many giant storm drains where many of the city's poorest NPCs called home.

There were five of them, all packing rusty handguns. They were skinny and wore rags for clothes, looking more like homeless people than a band of mighty wizards. They were connected to no quest at all. He himself was hiding behind a pillar.

They were even barbequing a «Mega-Rat» on a spit over a fire. God, this was sad.

Sinon was nearby, a constant and fluffy shadow. She looked at him and said, with quiet deviousness, "Nya."

If Kirito spoke cat, it would probably translate to: Do it Kirito. Kill them all.

"I'm not gonna murder a bunch of homeless people."

Her eyes went wild. She started meowing and running around in a circle.

"Whatever. I'm just gonna rob them. Less of a burden on my conscience." He moved out of cover as Sinon uselessly bit him on his booted ankle.

He approached the group, TMP in hand. "Hey, buddy! I know one of you has magic bracelets so give it up now!"

They ignored him. His sharp eyes noticed a glint on one of their wrists. "Hey, I see that! You, beardy! Hand it over or I'll shoot."

The greybeard continued to spin the spit. "Go ahead, shoot."

"I'd rather not …"

"What are you, a baby?"

"Hey man, let's not be rude."

"Look at this baby with a gun, Joe. He's even being polite!"

Joe, a man missing a hand, laughed. "Back in my day, mercs shot first, asked questions later. Ravaged and pillaged mutie villages with no hesitation. Sad to see how soft adventurers are these days."

A woman missing half her teeth added, "You're not really giving us a good first impression, kid. I've stepped on cockroaches with more gumption than you, kid."

He held his TMP in both hands now. "Give me the bracelets now, asshole!"

"What are you gonna do, baby? Do it, you fucking pu-"

Kirito pulled the trigger. The bullets slammed against the psy-shield the greybeard erected and bounced back right into his face. He wasn't wearing his wolf mask at the time.

Kirito awoke at the main cloning facility back in the city. He waited a while and was greeted by a blue cat and behind her was his backpack. "Okay, maybe I should just kill all of them."

"Nya."

The second fight went better but it was no milk run. The psycasters had an annoying tendency to rip off parts of the wall and launched it right at him and it was only thanks to his AGI based build he was able to dodge them and even then, bits debris still struck him.

The wizard leader now had an Eltex staff in hand and he used it to great effect, summoning torrents of water and making Kirito slip more times than he cared to admit. They even summoned non-existent enemies and Kirito tried his best to ignore the illusions of monsters. He suffered sudden blindness multiple times and sudden sleepiness, but he soldiered on.

One of them even puppeteered his own corpse. Kirito wasn't bothered by the fact he was fighting a dead version of himself but at how girly his avatar looked. He really should just bite the bullet and change his appearance.

His own bullets were his own worst enemies as they ricocheted back at him. The window of the dropped shields were brief, no more than five seconds, but he got them all eventually, expanding all of his ammo. For the greybeard, Kirito hacked him to death with his sword.

He looted the bracelets of the bald man as well as his staff and some books he found in their shacks. It was a good haul at least. Sinon approached him finally.

She smirked.

"Don't say it."

She turned on her back and exposed her belly, still smirking.

"Okay fine, you were right and it wasn't easy! Happy now?"

"Nya." Sinon always had an amazingly smug face, but her being a cat quadrupled the smugness.

He placed the bracelet around her neck and he placed the other on his right wrist.

"Can you hear me?"

"Ugh, it's like you're invading my mind."

She ignored the comment. "We need to head west into the Wastelands. The intel says there's where we can find our super secret special medicine."

Now here they were, out in post-apocalyptic Turkey, heading their way into the Syrian Wastes.

Kirito finally disarmed the rest of the mines and Sinon jumped into the basket of Kirito's rental motorcycle. It had extra panniers just to carry his stuff and Sinon's own gear. It was padded with cloth and Sinon jumped into it with feline grace. The money from the wizards' loot was enough for fuel, ammo, and one single revival at the cloning facility and any gear retrieval fees.

As Kirito revved his engine, he said, "Wait, I almost forgot! Turn around."

From a pouch, he tied a tiny scarf around her neck. "Thanks."

"So uh, before we go, can I … you know?"

"Kirito, please. We discussed this."

"Please Shino! Just once! I'm already doing dishes for a week, aren't I?"

She rolled her big blue eyes. "Ugh, fine. Just once."

He began scratching her behind the ears, and though she said nothing, her body certainly did, moving into his hand. It was delightful, there was no equivalent human sensation. Involuntarily, she let out a long purr. Cautiously, he began scratching her neck too and this she also enjoyed.

He wondered how the real Shino would look like wearing cat ears, a closed fist in imitation of a paw, going, "Nya."

Suddenly, he stopped and slammed the visor down his face. "Okay time to go-go-go!"

As he retracted the kick stand, Sinon had a similar thought. Kazuto would look really nice in cat ears.

Just the cat ears, and nothing else. Preferably tied to the headboard of her bed.

A lone dirtbike thundered across the highways of Ankara, its ruins casting a long shadow over the travelers.


It's said you can only make a first impression once. Shino found out that was not the case.

After a busy workday at the office, she usually went to the range to enjoy a skirmish with the lads. Get the heart rate up, good exercise. If it was a particularly busy and stressful day, she would visit the nice little bakery nearby.

She walked down the streets, ignoring the odd stares. A woman dressed in full tactical gear would certainly be a sight in Chiyoda, but there were stranger folks there, what with Akihabara being nearby and cosplayers being common; sometimes tourists would ask for pictures (which she always politely declined). And though she would never admit it, wearing armour did, 100% make her feel cool.

She entered Chiye's Bakery and lucky for her, there was the last bit of her favorite cheesecake. The staff didn't even bat an eye at her, they were familiar with the heavily armoured woman and her bag of airsoft weapons.

She reached for her prize only to have it be snapped away from her by a stranger. "Hey!"

"Oh hey. Nice getup," said the stranger, a man around her age in kendoka clothes. "Can I help you?"

"Uh, can I have that?"

"Oh this?" said the man. He smirked suddenly. "Sure … in exchange for your number?"

Ugh. Dudes see a chick in tac gear and think they're some fantastical tomboy caricature. Do they also think the girls that work at maid cafes were also into them?

"Ah, never mind, you can have it." Cheesecake denied, she went to her second choice, a row of freshly baked croissants.

"Wait! Sure, you can have it. But maybe you can do me a favour?"

A favour for a guy who just asked her out? In exchange for food? Common sense said no, but her desire for cheesecake was immense, and it overwhelmed her defenses in moments. "Okay, but it better be quick." And not creepy, she thought.

It wasn't creepy per se, but it was weird as hell.

They stood in an alley behind the bakery. Sword Guy was stretching, his shinai in hand. In Shino's hand was her Glock. Not her real one, the airsoft one. She'll never repeat that mistake ever again.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Alright, but I better not be sued for this."

Sword Boy held his sword in a stance. She couldn't tell what stance, but it looked to be for an overhead strike. She looked back behind her, the coast was clear. She really didn't want people to get the wrong impression. A woman aiming a realistic looking gun at a man, that would land her in all sorts of trouble and looking back on it, she really wasn't in her right mind.

But cheesecake was truth, glory and pleasure, all in one. She would not be denied it.

She aimed her pistol at his chest and fired. It hit him right in the chest. "Ow!"

"You said you were gonna block it!"

"I wasn't ready!"

"I had my gun on you and you weren't ready?"

"Just do it again, okay!"

Pew. Fail.

And again.

And again.

She was wasting precious ammo for this. For a guy who wanted to test his swing speed, he refused to wear armour. This sort of thing really should be done in a controlled, safe, well-lit environment, not some dank alley in Tokyo, that's for sure. Why did she agree to this? And why was she even entertaining this weirdo in the first place?

After the fifth shot, she stopped. "Look, you aren't fast enough to block an airsoft round, just give up."

"No way. I can do this!"

She dumped an entire mag on her and at this point, she was worried she'd hurt him yet he refused to at least put on his armour. Shino had gotten into fist fights with thugs, got clobbered with a crowbar once, and she considered herself a tough woman. Yet here was Sword Boy taking it like a champ. Even the veterans at the range quit after being shot only a few times.

The gun clicked empty. "Enough! I've already wasted enough time. Just give me the cheesecake, okay?"

With a sigh, he relented. "Fine! Here it is." He had placed the bag of cheesecake on a nearby trash can and went to reach it.

Then, out of nowhere, a cat emerged and grabbed the bag and ran away into the darkness. A pregnant pause filled the alley.

"YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!"

"WHAT, YOU THINK I TRAINED THE CAT TO STEAL MY CHEESECAKE?"

"THAT WAS MINE, WE HAD A DEAL!"

"WELL EXCUSE ME, DO YOU WANT ME TO GO CHASE DOWN A CAT?!"

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD! THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HIT THE BULLET IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"THIS WAS MY FIRST TIME, OKAY!"

The screaming match continued for a few more minutes. Realising this was a waste of time, she put her stuff away. "Forget it, I'm going home," she declared. She had lost her appetite at this point.

Sword Boy was rubbing his chest and arms. "Whatever. You're just ammo stingy, it's not like those plastic balls are expensive."

Shino let out a growl. "Don't let me ever see you again!"

"Fine! And it's not like I wanted your number in the first place."

"Fine."

"Whatever."

The two fully grown, totally mature adults harrumphed, turned around and walked away. They never saw each other again. At least not for another few months.


Three months passed and the incident was a distant memory. She never told the story to anyone, especially her workmates. For one, the boss would give her an earful, and secondly, they'd never let her live it down.

Airsoft wasn't the only passion for Shino Asada. That was more of a secondary thing. Her real passion was video games, specifically VR games, and Gun Gale Online certainly scratched that itch. It wasn't reality but it was close enough and it was good training on the field barring the fitness aspect. Originally a mod for the infamous Sword Art Online, it was tweaked and changed so much it became its own thing.

The streets of SBC Glocken resembled every fictional sci-fi city of the past century. Great neon lights, floating cars (which were inoperable outside of the city), advertisements for real world products, and numerous other services. The battle cruiser was landed over some fifty years ago, and already the city had skyscrapers belonging to numerous evil sounding megacorporations. The sky flickered as the city's void shields kept out the worst of Earth's post apocalyptic air and the odd rocket from enemy mobs.

She entered Vulkan's Gladius and Scutum; the modest shop resembled something out of Roman times complete with painted art on the walls and marble pillars; Sinon was sure such art was pretty unlikely in a smithy but she wasn't an expert.

The eponymous Vulkan was at the counter, a burly thick-bearded man, tinkering with a CZ75. The amount of detail put into the guns was astonishing and extremely accurate; unsurprising seeing as the devs had sponsors from almost every gun manufacturer on the planet. Rumour had it that Vulkan himself actually worked for Beretta in real life.

The gunsmith didn't look up from his work. "Evening, Sinon. How's the grip for your rifle working for you?"

She shrugged. "The vertical foregrip wasn't really working out for me. I think I'll go back to the angled one."

"Shame. But we do have a warranty. You know what to do." She dropped the grip in a nearby bin to be recycled or sold at a discount.

She glanced at the nearby racks and gasped. "You have the Remington MSR on sale? They shouldn't be out here for another month!"

The smith laughed. "Knew you'd like it. But there's only half a dozen in stock you know."

Sinon looked at the price (85,000 credits) and at her own funds (34,550 credits). The last mission was just as much of a success as it was a bust; the expenditure in vehicle fuel, ammo and medicine was so high the pay was barely enough to pay for her monthly subscription. She bit on a knuckle, trying to conjure a way to get the most money in the shortest amount of time.

"You wouldn't know of any guilds needing snipers, do you?"

Vulkan chuckled. "Do I look like a handler to you? Besides, the City Council always has quests."

"Sure, but they're dreadfully boring and barely pay much. PVP guild fighting pays much more." The sheer amount of toxicity between rival guilds was legendary in the VR space, surpassed only by that space game with all the spreadsheets.

"Well I did hear that Arrowhead Corporation is in need of some grunts."

"Yeah but they got their butts kicked by Black Saber last month, and I hear they don't pay freelancers well."

Discussion continued until the glass double doors slid open. A girl with long black hair and in simple starter clothes entered.

"Uh, excuse me. Is this where I can get a weapon?" Her voice was soft.

Vulkan switched off the work lamp, dusted off his hands and moved behind to the counter. "Of course, what can I get you? SMGs? Shotguns? Got a nice deal on a bunch of Mossbergs if you want."

Her eyes lit up. Sinon, taking the hint, moved aside to let the merchant do business.

"Do you sell armour?"

"Of course!"

"I need a … breastplate."

"A vest? Yeah we got plenty of those."

"And a sword!"

"A what now?"

"Your shop is called Gladius and Scutum, so you have those, right?"

Immediately Sinon felt a great sense of sympathy for the newbie. She remembered her early days in GGO too. The early game had a lot of nonsense elitism and rookie-bashing but Sinon prided herself on not being those kinds of players. A quick glance from Vulkan said he would appreciate some assistance too.

She approached the girl, "Hey, you need some help?"

"Yeah. So does this place have power armour? I get it's pretty pricey, but I'm willing to grind a lot for it."

She smiled sadly. "Sorry, those aren't in the game yet. Devs haven't figured out how to balance it."

"But … there's a power armored space marine on the cover of the game. Power armour was in the trailers!"

"It's a long running joke. We've been waiting for power armour for the last five years."

In a game with actual armour, vehicles were more of a focus; infantry players had been complaining for so long that personal armour needed an upgrade, reliable endgame armour. A level 1 player would wear kevlar just as a level 50 player would with minor upgrades overall - the build was more important than the gear. Such a debate still raged on in GGO's own forums.

New Girl looked crestfallen. "So are you saying that melee isn't viable?"

"Well it is in close quarters, but you've also got SMGs and shotguns to contend with."

"Can I use a riot shield with a sword?"

Oh dear, she really had no idea what she was in for. "Riot shields for beating down protesters and mutant rights activists, what you want is a ballistic shield," Sinon corrected.

"Listen miss, we don't really do swords here," said Vulkan. "Buuut I do have a bunch of gladii in the back."

"Miss? What are you talk-" then she looked at a nearby mirror, mouth agape as if she had seen a ghost. "What the hell?"

"Um, are you okay, miss?"

She took a deep breath before answering, "Ah, yes. Of course. I am totally okay, and a girl too. Yep. I'll take your gladius and a shield too, please."

"Shields aren't really viable early game," Sinon warned.

"I'll make it work!" she said. Does she think she's in some fantasy game instead?

The girl went to the back range of the shop where an old scrap turret was set up. It was a safe zone where players could test their new gear without worry of Durability and ammo was free. GGO was a grindy game where death, gear retrieval, and ammo was priced. Most ranges and shops charged the ammo but Vulkan was successful enough he allowed a limited amount of free shots and test time for his customers.

It was somewhat comical to see such a lithe girl using a humongous shield as tall as she was. Sinon doubted she had the STR to hold that shield for long.

The turret whirred to life as it plinked, plinked, plinked .22 rounds at her. She charged in, clumsily, struggling, almost tripping over as the six kilo shield was more of a hassle than the actual turret shooting at her.

Finally she reached the turret and swung her entire body, shield in hand, knocking the turret down. Sinon and Vulkan gave polite golf claps.

"I'll take both please!"

"Uh, are you sure you don't want a gun, miss?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"I assure you, you want a gun, in a game, that has GUN in the title." His tone had an edge to it, born of worry, and maybe frustration.

"Just hook me up with some plate armour and I'm good to go, shopkeep."

The smith curled and uncurled his hands. He said through clenched teeth, "Listen, I will give you a gun, for free, if you promise to use it."

"Gee, that's awful nice of you, thanks!"

"Bring that up to the counter please, I'll ring you up. Meanwhile, you can go browse some actual guns."

As the items were prepared for the customer, Vulkan took Sinon by the shoulder. "Sinon, that girl, she ain't right."

"I can tell. She's acting if this was Sword Art Online or something."

Thus the two gun nuts came to an realisation. It was the only viable answer. This wasn't the first time an SAO player came to GGO. All knew of that infamous, terrible game and its equally notorious creator.

As Sinon looked at the girl, who had picked up some second-hand M9s and was literally peering down the barrel, she sighed. It was the right thing to do.

"I'll knock down the price by 5,000 if you help her."

"Make it 10,000 and I'll call you Saint Vulkan."

"Deal." They shook on it.

Sinon approached the girl again. "Look I ain't a pro or anything, but I know my way around. How about I show you the ropes?"

"Wow, everyone's so nice in this game!" Oh, already Sinon had given her a false impression. "Sure thing, a guide's always nice. I know basically nothing about guns, I'm more of a sword guy - er, gal."

Sinon smiled. "I'm Sinon."

The girl returned it with a flash of white teeth. "Name's Kirito."

Sinon would learn later that it was possible to have a first impression twice.


They spent two more days travelling. It was here where Kirito was most worried. He wasn't worried about the raiders clad in leather fetish gear, the mutated bioengineered fauna, gearheads chasing him down in their overcompensated nitro-boosted trucks, no, those things he can handle.

A few times during the trip, he had to fight off a gearhead chasing him down on a technical and a mecha-python that bursted from the sand. He even engaged in a shootout with techno-bedouins on cyber-camels at an ancient gas-station; the tribals were fierce warriors with their jezail-rail rifles and only retreated after he killed half of their warband. Running and gunning was suicide and he resorted to picking them off with Sinon's MSR. Advance as their rail-jezails were, they had a horrendous reload time.

Yet, it wasn't enemy mobs he was worried about. He looked at the map in his HUD, the closest safe outpost was about twenty kilometres away and the road leading to it was in the Red Zone.

"We're almost there. It might be safe to go off-road.

"No, I can make it. I refuse to chance going off-road when we're so close," he shouted over the wind. If he died now, he would respawn back at the merchant post by Adana. That was a day's worth of travel lost and the player who ran that store charged through the roof. Not to mention they weren't exactly swimming in funds.

"Fine, but be careful. You know what happens in the Red Zone."

"I know, I know."

He saw the trap just moments before impact: between two ancient minivans, the chain was hoisted upwards at chest height. He hit the brakes but it was far too late.

The dirtbike went forward riderless and Kirito hung in the air momentarily before falling to the broken asphalt. His helmet took the brunt of the impact and despite having no pain receptors at all, he still had his breath knocked out of him. The bike went a hundred or so yards before tilting over, sparks flying as it skidded to a halt.

Kirito sat up, only to narrowly dodge a baseball bat coming right at him. He rolled around and stood up, reaching for his TMP only to hear a cocking of a hammer behind him.

"Don't move. Tell me, who do you work for and maybe I won't blow your brains out," said a voice behind him. He raised his hands in surrender.

He saw two in front of him, a hooligan in a leather/flak armor combo with a baseball bat, probably looted from some gearhead NPC, and a girl in basic fatigues with a M3 grease gun, a bulky medic bag hung from her shoulder. The player behind him plucked the TMP out of his hand and began stripping off other bits of gear including his helmet. He couldn't see Sinon but the HUD told her she escaped unscathed.

"Don't you know you ain't supposed to travel by yourself in the Red Zone?" said Baseball Bat

The Red Zone - also known as PvP zone. Whereas everyone was fair game outside of Safe Zones, Red Zones were places where players duked it out in proper war. Even griefers stayed out of them. These were guilds who were really into the warfare aspect of the game and took themselves very seriously. In the distance, gunfire thundered as players warred against each other for XP and loot.

The barrel dug into the back of his head. "Answer me and maybe I'll let you live."

"I don't work for anyone. I just want to get to a dungeon."

"Do you think we're stupid? I bet you work for the Mobile Guard, huh?"

"I don't even know who the Mobile Guard is!" A lie; they were an accomplished guild using hit and run tactics with light armour, motorcycle scouts and a considerable number of Mi-8 choppers. Sinon had mentioned working for them on occasion.

Another woman appeared, this one dressed in similar starter gear. She had a familiar sniper rifle in her hand. "Hey sergeant, check this baby out!"

"Nice find!" said Baseball Bat Guy. "We can probably sell the bike too!"

"Hey, that's a rental!" protested Kirito.

The player patted the sword on her hip. "Why are you running around with medieval weapons anyway?"

"Because it's cool," he answered defensively. "Way more useful than a knife."

She rolled her eyes. "People have been trying to make melee builds for years and it's never worked. Only a newbie would - wait, you're one of those SAO refugees, aren't ya?"

He didn't answer.

"Oh man, you totally are. Poor bastard. Sarge, look, he's level 24. We should kill him for the XP alone," she said.

"Negative, private. He may be a spy for the Guard. We should take him into custody and have intelligence interrogate him."

Medic Girl laughed. "Ooh, he's gonna make you dance and post the video on the Internet, that he will! Don't mess with the Kyoto Warhawks!"

"Dammit Hikari, how many times have I told you not to blurt out the guild's name!"

"Sorry sarge, very sorry!"

Of all the rotten luck. "Look, if you want the gear, you can have it. Just leave the rifle be, it's a friend's."

"Hmm, let me think about it. Nah." Kirito's hands went behind his back and he could feel the tightening of plastic handcuffs around his wrist. "Let's go, lady. We're bringing you back to base. You should really cut that hair of yours, it'll get in the way."

As Baseball Bat produced a hood from his Inventory, there was a sudden strange sound.

"Nya."

They turned and lo and behold was Neko-Sinon, perched atop a barrel. She was licking her paw, something Kirito realised she had never done before.

"Why is that cat blue?" asked Looter Girl.

Baseball Bat dropped his chosen weapon. "Oh my God, oh my God, it's so cute!"

Sinon laid on her back and exposed her equally fluffy belly. "Nya."

Baseball Bat let out a very girlish squee. "Sarge, please, can we keep it?"

The sergeant sat Kirito down and came into view. Of the four, he was the best equipped with gear not too dissimilar from Kirito with a folded AK-74u on him. "Do you have any points in Animal Handling?"

"Well, no."

"Is a cat a good combat animal?"

"I wouldn't bring it to a gunfight!"

"Then the answer is no. You can't just go around adopting every weird mutant you find cute."

"Your last 'pet' stung me," said Medic Girl. "Turns out dog-sized scorpions aren't on the list of animals that can be tamed."

"I refuse to talk to the asshole who murdered my beloved Stingy."

"It was an actively hostile mob, dumbass!"

As the argument continued, Kirito looked at his feline compatriot. Sadly the bracelet seemed to be a one way radio and he couldn't use it to speak to her.

"I'm distracting them, you know what to do."

Slowly, but surely, Kirito scooted back. He groped the asphalt trying to find something, anything, that would let him escape his restraints. Ahah! A shard of broken glass. He carefully handled his makeshift blade as he sawed through his cuffs -

"Sir, I think the prisoner is trying to escape," said Looter Girl.

The sergeant pointed a Makarov at him. "Nice try buddy, do you really think you're gonna get away?"

Suddenly, Sinon began coughing and screaming. "Nyaaaa!"

"Oh my God, what's wrong with it?!" said Medic Girl.

"Oh no no, my precious baby!" Baseball Bat scooped her up in his arms. "Hikari, give her some medicine."

"I don't know what's wrong with it! For all we know it's got a stomach ache or something!"

Sinon, for a lack of better term, vibrated, or perhaps some sort of Olympic routine as she bent into various shapes. Yoga perhaps?

"I have no idea what I'm doing. Do something!"

"Hey, hey! I gotta get her to the dungeon!"

"What?" said the sergeant.

"I'm on a quest! Yeah, that's it! The cat's an important NPC, and if I don't head to this one dungeon with the medicine to fix her, she'll die!"

Baseball Bat gasped. "The kitty will die?"

Kirito nodded solemnly. "The kitty will indeed die. The medicine is special, and she needs it pronto. She gets these fits and it'll only get worse. Please, let me go. I'm her only hope."

The sergeant rolled his eyes. "Do you really expect me to believe this bullshit? What quest is this anyway? I'd never heard of it."

"It's … Precious Sinonon."

"Sinonon?"

"Sinonon?"

"That's right. That's the cat's name. It's a pretty obscure quest, see. Pays very well. If you let me go, I'll give you half the cash. Besides, you wouldn't want to let poor, adorable Sinonon die, will you?"

"C'mon sergeant, pretty pleeeease?" said Baseball Bat. He was now cradling and swinging Sinon around like a baby.

Medic Girl shrugged. "Let's just let this guy go, sergeant. He seems to be telling the truth, and our job's hunting down Mobile Guard runners, not random players."

"I don't care, I just wanna kill someone," said Looter.

The sergeant looked at his team, at Sinon, then back at Kirito. He made some mental calculations in his head before sighing. He produced a knife from his hip and moved to Kirito's back. The captured player inhaled sharply -

The cuffs were cut. Kirito massaged his wrists.

"I can't believe I'm doing this, but go. Before I change my mind. If I see you again we'll shoot on sight."

Baseball Bat rubbed his face against Sinon's fuzzy head. "I hope you get fixed, Sinonon."

"Nya."

They reached the outpost ten minutes later, riding in total silence. Kirito hailed the gates open and he parked his bike inside a garage, handing the mechanic for slight repairs.

As Kirito rented a room inside the fire station-turned-inn, Kirito said, "We will never speak of this again."

"Sinonon? Why Sinonon?"

"What part of never speaking of this again don't you get?" The room was spartan but that was sufficient for a safe room. It had two cloning vats instead of beds, basic and nowhere near as fancy as Glocken's but functionally the same.

"Don't worry. You're precious to me too." The cat girl wore the smuggest of expressions in a way only cats could.

If he flushed anymore his VR gear would explode into flames. "Can we log out now? Grab some lunch?"

"Sure thing. Don't worry, I'm buying this time." Sinon laid in her own vat and Kirito closed the capsule for her. Kirito laid in his own.

As they summoned the interface to leave, she said, "Hey, remember the first time we met?"

"In-game or in real life?"

"Both, I guess. That was a real difference, huh?"

"I'm still not fast enough to block bullets," he said sullenly.

"Don't worry, Kaz. I still think you're a cool swordsman."

Maybe the day wasn't so bad after all, he thought, as they emerged into reality.


Not much in the way of gun porn in this chapter or action scenes, but I hope it whets your apatite.

Also, good news and bad news.

Bad news: this is probably the only thing you'll see from me in a while. That means don't expect any quick updates for Sinonon or Merchant Prince anytime soon. That one is a much bigger project.

Good news: a new DLC is gonna drop for one of my favorite games and I'm going to spend all my time playing and little time writing. I suppose that's technically bad news for you, but it's good news for me! It's a cannibal/human skin hat/war crime simulator. You may have heard of it.

Anyway, remember we have a Discord channel, so if you wanna bug me to update faster, you can do that there! : discord . gg /z9Pz3Jzc7y (remove spaces)

Alternatively, you can yell at me to update faster in the reviews. I'm quite surprise at the interest in this story for what's basically a short break from Merchant Prince. I know some of you are wondering and have questions about the whole SAO thing, so ask away. Remember, it's an AU.

That's all for now. See you folks later.


Patch notes:

13th September 2021 - Tidied things up.