Date posted: 27th March 2022

A big shout out to Tide for the fictional ammo. You know the one.

And for a certain reviewer, you asked, I provided.


Chapter 13: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

In the early days of Gun Gale Online, when it was merely a mod called Gun Art Online (very creative name, yes) - the devs (then modders) put all sorts of fictional vehicles into it. Flying saucers at first, then famous star fighters, luxury sports cars, a mystery solving hippie van, the works. They could never get to programming a usable giant mecha, which was a source of disappointment to players and modders both.

When the mod turned into an official game, the developers obviously didn't have permission to use said vehicles. It was decided early in development that they would use real world guns and vehicles. While some guns did require licenses to be put into the games, many were in public domain and it was cost beneficial enough to do so; easier to sell to the existing military-shooter players then it was to make marketable fictional guns.

Gone were the energy weapons, relegated to NPC weapons like the rail-jezails of Bedouin tribes or the odd ancient laser turret in some long forgotten military base. No, it would pander to the tacticool crowd. While the players who played the mod grieved the losses of cool unique weapons in the «Lore and Worldbuilding Discussion» subsection of the forums, it proved to be the right choice from a marketing perspective.

One could argue that advertising real world firearms to an impressionable player base is unethical, but hey, they needed to pay for server maintenance after all.

Despite the choice of using real world military gear, the devs had exceptions: a tank, one of the very first vehicles they ever modded in. "Inspired" by a similarly named unit from a certain ancient RTS game, the completely generic and non-copyright infringing «Siege Tank» survived its travel from Gun Art Online to Gun Gale Online, reborn as «Brond, the Wolf's Jaw».

Brond was a "transforming dual-type heavy armor/heavy artillery unit". In layman's terms, it was a tank with double-barrels, shooting 155 millimeter rounds called the «All-Purpose Universal Bombardment Shell» (or APUBS for short) - a completely fictional shell that existed in-universe for space cruisers.

With a press of a button, it could transform itself from a super heavy tank into an artillery piece, literally clamping itself into the earth with two massive claws. It was completely nonsensical, even by the standards of GGO. It was too slow to be a tank, too unstable to be an artillery piece, and needed only one driver to operate it. It was also extremely expensive, costing a whopping 30,000,000 credits. To put this into perspective, a guild could buy six M1-Abrams MBTs for the cost of a single Brond.

The devs put Brond in, entirely as a nostalgia piece and a joke. Only the richest whales could afford it. What kind of complete moron would buy one?

Enter, FaDe Corp:

Somewhere, at the Volos Frontline, the «Wolf's Jaw» was being escorted by two Japanese Type 90 MBTs. It was no secret that FaDe, the guild leader of FaDe Corp (he was humble like that) was a very well to do player with too much disposable income and too little common sense. He surrounded himself with yes-men who clung to his every word and dared not criticise him.

When FaDe announced he wanted to purchase a Wolf's Jaw, no one argued against it. Never mind how the guild was severely lacking in money and bleeding player count. Never mind despite the best gear money could buy, they were ranked as the one of the worst guilds in the entire game and a complete laughing stock. Never mind how FaDe himself was an extremely toxic player in and out of game. It was a rumour that the reason why the devs hadn't banned him was because he spent so much money on GGO, and was therefore a very valuable customer.

So when the Wolf's Jaw got stuck in the desert sand (because it weighed 200 tonnes), FaDe screamed his head off to get it unstuck. Other players shut off their radios, refusing to hear the man's complaints. They moved on without him. And of course, because he was impatient, FaDe moved forward with only two tanks, leaving his infantry behind.

It was then a group of Thunder Fighters emerged from the hills. They descended from the heavens like avenging angels and landed atop the tanks. Two of them landed on each of the Type 90s, ripped apart the tank's hatch and slew the occupants.

FaDe found himself staring into the lens of a Thunder Fighter's helmet. He pulled out his golden Desert Eagle but a massive hand clamped onto his hand and broke it. The other hand engulfed his face, and squeezed. The transhuman then plopped a brick of C4 on FaDe's lap.

Republic Stormtroopers emerged from the sands and quickly fixed and commandeered the Type 90s. They all left, and when they were a fair distance away, detonated the C4.

Brond, the Wolf's Jaw laid there still, the most expensive corpse on the battlefield.

Major Nikita watched all this unfold from the screen of her laptop. She shook her head. "There goes 30 million credits. Absolute moron."

"What was that, sir?" asked Corporal Dave, hunched over a radio.

"Nothing corporal. Continue your work." With a few taps on the keyboard, Nikita switched off the video player. The footage was four hours old, taken from a Republic server.

The staff of Zakon I Dolg, 2nd Company, were currently held up in one of Corinth's many warehouses. Infiltration had for the most part been quite easy. The influx of refugees from the countryside, their Republic uniforms, and her attitude, had gotten her men hunkered down in some merchant's warehouse. The company's BTR-90s were being fixed outside and some of her men had even logged out. CHAD's men, the Virtues, also had found them the right paperwork, which shooed away any questions from nosey police officers. Right now, they were not the jackboots of capital and heartless clone soldiers, but fellow comrades in the revolution.

For the most part.

Tadao entered the office and snapped a salute. "Sir! That pesky spy has been disposed of!"

"Very good, commissar. Have you heard from Sergeant Gregory's cell?"

"Yes, sir. He said his men are ready to storm the police station. If our intel is correct, we might finally get our hands on the objective."

The 4th Precinct Police Station was one of many in the city. They also happened to hold valuable cloning vats stolen from the Clearers, stored in their underground vault. Of course, despite being police, they were very well armed and taking over a station in the middle of a siege was liable to get them all killed. They needed to do this as quietly as possible.

"Good work, Tadao. If you want to logout, feel free to do so."

"Thanks again, major."

Which is why Skirmisher-chan's cell was on the other side of the city, ready to blow up an important fuel reserve as a distraction. They just needed to time this right. She turned to examine the map. It was a complex plan that required precise timing, which is why Nikita disliked it. The simplest plans were the best, in her opinion.

As she stared at the map, she said, "Corporal, call CHAD again. I need to -"

Something popped, the sound of broken equipment. Nikita whipped around to see the radio smoking and Tadao standing over the corpse of Corporal Dave, a long knife in his hand.

She reached for her pistol as the commissar pounced on her.


In the setting sun on a beach at Greece, a dozen members of Black Dog and FuurinKazan were pointing their guns at the newcomers, a hundred strong group of strangers in good flak, led what could only be called a heavily armoured tortoise with a machine gun.

They stared each other down, in the world's most absurd Mexican Standoff.

"So, what's it gonna be?" asked Klein, leading their side. Kirito and Sinon hid behind a rock because they were unarmed.

"We can outgun you," said the Tortoise.

"True," said Klein. "But my buddy Harry up there has an RPG aimed straight at ya', and even if you win, you'd be missing half your force. Too little manpower to actually make a difference in the siege of Corinth."

"Hmm, yes. A Pyrrhic Victory."

"I don't know what that means but you won't have any victory today." A good chunk of the FuurinKazan shook their heads at their leader.

Finally, Tortoise Man said, "Parley?"

"Parley," said Klein.

They reconvened back at the cave. It could just barely fit a dozen players which meant only the leaders and the officers would be there. Klein and Dynamn of the FuurinKazan; Dyne and Smith for the Black Dog; the Tortoise, now identified as Colonel Honshu of the Kyoto Warhawks, with his three captains, who looked to be severely underleveled and completely uncomfortable with their ranks with how they were almost hiding behind the big man.

Sinon and Kirito weren't entirely sure why they were there.

"Look," Dyne explained. "We're outnumbered, outgunned. You two look intimidating enough so maybe that'll give us an advantage in the talks. Just stand behind me and look tough."

"You know, guys," said Kirito. "Do we need this meeting? This could have been an email."

Bless Kaz's heart, she could kiss him again.

Dyne ignored him. "So, Honshu-san, was it? What can I do for you?"

Honshu leaned forward, elbows on the table. The chair he was sitting on must have been an «Immortal Object» considering he must have weighed a hundred kilos and some with his gear on. The whirr of his bionic exoskeleton could be heard even through his armour.

"I want my men to be the first into the city."

"We got you beat there. Besides, we just got out of the city," said Klein.

"Well, in that case," he tapped on the map, specifically at the large structure parked right in the middle of the city. "I want to be first on the ship."

"The Ark Biologis? We have no idea how to get there," Dyne admitted. "Besides, there's gotta be a hundred Thunder Fighters there. We can't get in there without heavy armour. They'll tear us apart."

"You let us deal with that. You know how much rep we would get being the first being on the ship? All that sweet, sweet, XP."

Klein held up a hand. "Hold on, let me ask the boss."

A few minutes later they got the radio working, CHAD's voice coming through clear. "Ah, Colonel Honshu. I take the Warhawks' expedition to the Untamed East didn't go so well?"

Even through the slit of the helmet, they could see Honshu's pained expression. "Let's get down to business, Mister Shinigami."

"Very well. But what's in it for us?"

The Tortoise pointed to Dyne. "I know for a fact none of you have found any cloning vats. If you did, then crippled cowboy here would have respawned and fixed his spine. In return for helping us get into the city, and onto the ship, you'll have these."

Honshu snapped his fingers. One of his captains came to the table with a box. In it was a multitude of bionics - hands, feet, spine, eyes, in all sorts of colours and configurations. They shone even under the cheap light of the cave, not unlike a chest of gold.

Klein whistled. "These do look cool."

"And I have a good Chop Doc too, if you want to install them. Fix up your spine, until we can get you a cloning vat."

Kirito raised a hand. "Ah, question - if bionics have been around for a long time, why are there so few people running around with them."

Honshu leaned back in his chair. "Good question. You know how it costs money to respawn at cloning vats? And respawning your gear back with you?"

"Yeah, it scales with your gear and level. This was in the Tutorial." Realisation dawned on him. "Oh, wait …"

"You got it. Respawning with bionics costs even only that, but they need constant maintenance. It's why only top level guys have them."

"CHAD doesn't have them," said Sinon.

"I don't need bionics," he said simply. It wasn't a disparaging comment towards bionic users, merely a statement of fact.

"In any case," Honshu continued, "we give you the bionics, you let us know the way you got out of the city. Share bionics, share ammo, share intel. As long as we are the first people onto the ship."

CHAD was quiet at the end of the radio until he finally said, "You've got yourself a deal. Here's a new plan."

The planning took an hour. When it was done, everyone was mentally exhausted. Honshu had his troops bunker down in the many abandoned beach houses on the coast. When Kirito and Sinon logged out, CHAD was still there, online. He idly wondered if the man ever took a break.

Before he did, Kirito called him. "Uh, CHAD-san? Can I ask a question?"

"Shoot."

"Back during the first mission to assassinate the doctor - Brickwall died, but you disappeared. How did you escape the explosion in the first place?" It was something both he and Sinon had wondered about for a long while, but never had the chance to ask.

"I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me."

"What?"

"Get some rest, Kirito. Operations will continue tomorrow."

The line went dead.


At nine pm, there was a knock at the door. Shino went and looked through the peephole to see a man with a hood up.

"Yo, this the place folks call Neko Asada's?"

She sighed and opened the door. "Kaz, please stop acting like a weirdo"

Kazuto entered the apartment, looked around as if he had never seen it, and plopped the plastic bag on the counter. "Yeah, yeah, I got the good shit right here." He rummaged through it in an exaggerated manner. "Instant cup noodles, some vending machine pizza, even got some good ol' chocolate Pocky, that's the number one order for my clients."

"You do remember I was a cop, right? No drug dealer actually acts like that."

Kazuto shushed her, eyes wide. "Hey, hey, don't say the d-word, lady. I don't want Omar coming down the street and whistling his tune if you get what I mean."

"No, I don't know what you mean. Knock it off!"

Kazuto laughed as he picked up two cup noodles. "Roasted beef or veggies?"

Five minutes later and the couple were on the couch, blanketed with two steaming cups of noodles with two similar steaming cups of chocolate.

"This is sooo unhealthy," Shino complained.

"Shino says this, as she consumes her second bowl of beef noodles."

"You're eating it too!"

"These are veggies, much healthier!" he countered.

Shino patted her stomach. "Ugh, we should go to the gym tomorrow."

"But I don't wanna …" he whined. Kazuto exercised yes, but not to the degree Shino did. Guess that's why his sister was the family pride, not him.

Shino had put on a rerun of some old 80's action flick. The main character, a big muscle man, was hauling a log on one shoulder, a chainsaw in his other hand. He was meeting up with his adorable daughter. Like always, Shino lamented the fact that Kazuto had never seen it.

"So, is this it?"

"This is what?"

On the TV, assassins had come to kill the hero, and they were led by an evil Australian merc. He even had a bad guy moustache - that's to tell you he's super bad.

Kazuto waved his hand nonchalantly. "You know, the game. You got your body back. No, you got an even better body back. Mission accomplished, right?"

Shino blinked. "Oh yeah, that was the objective in the first place."

"I still miss Neko-Sinon. She was so fluffy and adorable. Not like current Sinon, all hard and tough."

"I'm gonna change my avatar back."

He met her eyes. "Is that a threat?"

"I don't know, is it?"

"Well what if I make my avatar less girly, how about that?"

The muscle bound hero had been chained to a table, and the villain was threatening him to do some sort of mission. The Australian merc leaned in close to him, it was vaguely homoerotic.

Shino called his bluff. "You hate microtransactions enough to not do that."

"Dammit, you're right! Why isn't this basic feature free?!"

"Oh you know, greedy triple A studio practices."

Kazuto slouched back, sipping his noodles. "And the GGO devs are considered one of the good ones."

The movie was halfway done and the hero had snapped his handler's neck and made a quip about being dead tired to a flight attendant.

"I just think, we should just, you know, finish the mission," said Shino.

"Assassinate the doctor? Crushing the dreams of an underclass being oppressed by their capitalist overlords?"

"Yeah, basically."

"Sure. I am having fun with the game. I want my chainsword back by the way."

"I'll think about it," she said coyly.

The hero was being chased by the villain's henchman and had 'recruited' an off-duty flight attendant on his mission, much to her horror.

"We should get a cat," Kazuto said suddenly.

"Oh, am I not cat enough for you?" she said, finishing her beef noodles.

"Shino, you are very cute and very precious, but you cannot go around saying 'Nya' and pretending to be a cat. You're a grown ass woman, for God's sake."

"Oh I don't know, you really liked me going 'nya' yesternight." She snuggled into him and his arm automatically wrapped around her shoulder.

They continued watching the film. The hero had paddled a boat up to the villain's beachside mansion for the final showdown (why was he in his underwear again?). It was then followed by a montage of him gearing up. Montages of the hero gearing up never got old.

The story devolved into some very 80's action scenes complete with the hero shooting down entire waves of goons by himself. The two had stopped talking, enjoying each other's presence more than the movie itself.

Slowly, he placed his hand on her thigh. "Hey, you know what would be fun?" he asked her.

Shino yawned. "What?"

"If we could, you know …"

She had begun rubbing her eyes and lowering the volume. "Hmm?"

Hmm, he guessed he had to be more direct. "Well, you know. We could do couple stuff. Like together." Kazuto dearly hoped he wasn't coming off too strong. "Like, you're a beautiful girl. And any guy would be lucky to …"

"Zzzz …"

Kazuto looked at his girlfriend, she was snoring lightly. Just in time for the hero and the merc to go at each other. He switched off the TV.

Kazuto dimmed the lights and pulled the blanket over both of them. He pecked her on the top of her head, enjoying the scent of her hair. He let out a long sigh. Not for the first time video games had denied him sex.

Shino snuggled closer into him. She was smiling, it must have been a good dream.

"Nya," she murmured.


"So."

"So what?"

"You and her. Are you, you know?"

Kazuto slowed down the speed of his treadmill, switching from a light jog to a fast walk and popped out his right earbud on the console. "You know that feeling, like you've experienced something before? What's that called? Oh right, déjà vu."

She leaned over the railing of the treadmill. "Oh, come on, I can tell. There's something different about you two. An energy between friends turned lovers! Just like my favourite shoujo romances!"

"She's just a friend. And what do you know? Have you been in a relationship before?"

Suguha's smile turned into a frown. "You shut your mouth, Kazuto."

The programmer just shook his head and chuckled. Despite being a minor celebrity, Suguha had a real tough time ever getting a date. Most men were often too intimidated to actually ask her out. When they did, they discovered she was very … eccentric when it came to swords.

Suguha's Dojo/Gym had a bit more improvements the last time Kazuto had been here. There were more machines, for one. The treadmill he was using was new, there were more weights scattered about. The walls had been painted, mirrors were installed. There were even other customers aside from him and Shino. Speaking of which, his girlfriend was in the corner, using the elliptical machine. Her brow was furrowed, a face of determination as she focused on the task at hand.

She was really going at it. And just like with the weights before, she wasn't even out of breath.

Suguha caught his stare. "I knew it!"

"Knew what?"

"You two are dating!"

Kazuto scoffed. "No we're not."

"Ahah, that's where you're wrong. I have numerous pieces of evidence that I can bring up." She brought up one finger. "One, she's trying to lose weight - to better attract potential lovers."

"Or maybe she's just trying to be healthy. I've told you before, her work is physically demanding."

She brought a second finger. "Two: she's wearing tight gym clothes. Look! She's not wearing her hoodie, she's showing off her stomach and she's wearing shorts! The better to capture the eye of lustful men!"

"Yes, dear sister. People have multiple sets of exercise clothes. You are sooo smart."

The third finger. "Lastly!" Suguha gave her that smile she used when she had one up over him. "Shino told me you were dating while you were changing clothes."

Kazuto slammed his fist onto the console dramatically. "Curses! That was to be our secret we would bring to our grave!"

"Why are you even hiding that fact, anyway?"

That was a good question, why was he? Kazuto made up an alternative answer on the spot. "That's because you're very annoying. Don't you have other friends you can bother instead?"

The kendoka harrumphed. "Fine then, be that way. I have class in five minutes anyway."

There was a small part of the gym that was wide enough for people to do calisthenics. Shino, ever the drill sergeant, had decided on a whim, to make up a new training routine for him. That's his girlfriend, always looking out for him.

"Uh, Shino-chan."

"Yes?"

"Don't you think this is a bit much?"

"What is?"

He pointed to the word doc she had just sent. "I cannot do one hundred pushes in this short amount of time."

"What? That's easy. I do three hundred every morning."

Oh God. "Jump rope for half an hour? Twenty burpees? Thirty pull ups? I have trouble doing five, you want me to do thirty?!"

"You're supposed to do them in sets, duh," she said, as if explaining to a child.

Kazuto put a hand on her muscular shoulder. "Sinonon. Sweetheart. I'm not as strong as you are. This will kill me."

He got through her. "Oh fine, I guess we can cut them in half."

"Half, yes! I can do half!"

He couldn't. He did less than a third. Sixty pushups, five minutes of jump rope, two pullups and one burpee, which ended with him slamming his face to the mat. Thankfully, he didn't break his nose.

By the end of the session, Kazuto was sprawled by the fruit bar, panting like a dog. His shirt was soaked with sweat and the fruit shake that Shino made was the only thing that kept him from death.

"Hmm, maybe you need an easier routine," she said, editing the word doc. "I thought what with you being a runner, you would be in better shape."

"I feel so unmanly right now."

She patted him on his head. "Do you want me to carry you home?"

They had taken a train to Suguha's gym, Kazuto's motorcycle parked uselessly at their apartment's underground parking spot because he had yet to change the tires. "I was gonna make a joke about how you can't, but knowing you, you probably can. Just give me a minute."

As Kazuto rested, his eyes trailed back to Shino who was typing on her phone. Suguha was right, she was wearing more revealing clothing. Even in the heated gym, people were wearing track pants and jackets; the cold snap that suddenly descended on the city really took a lot of people by surprise. And here she was, in a pair of shorts, tank top, revealing as much skin as possible.

She had been complaining about eating too much junk food, but dear God, she still had that amazing six-pack.

Shino sneezed. "Excuse me. Hey, wanna finish my fruit shake?"

It was at that moment that Kazuto knew he had completely fallen for Shino Asada.

He grabbed her free hand with both of his, and looked intently into her eyes. "Shino, you can use that chainsword as much as you want."

She blinked dumbly. "Huh?"


The Mutants of Old Earth expansion had been out for a grand total of fifteen days and the forums were still on fire.

Thread after thread were asking, nay, demanding the devs to nerf the Thunder Fighters. Much electronic ink was being spilled on their "bullshit M2 Browning rifles" by one General Vader. Another user by the name of X-Delta Force Operator (the age indicated the user was in fact only 17), was whining how it was complete nonsense how they were using melee weapons, never mind how a good chunk of GGO's mobs were animals with no ranged capabilities at all.

There was a petition on demanding the devs to recompense guilds for the loss of their tanks and choppers which did take a considerable amount of resources and credits to build and maintain. FaDe was there, being a complete ass to everyone, whining about how he had to get a hire of NPC farmers with tractors to tow his precious Wolf's Jaw to the nearest repair bay. A user by the name of KingofKnights wrote a 3,000 word post on how power armour should be available to the players. This was the 35th "players should get power armor" thread in GGO's three or so years of being launched.

In the «Lore and Worldbuilding Discussion» part of the forums, someone had naively asked whether the Republic of Mutantopia could indeed be considered communist. The thread was 150 pages long and had to be locked after only six days of being active. Another thread, made by a user who was banned from the previous thread, was complaining about how the devs shouldn't shove politics down everyone's throats. The OP was then yelled at by a hundred other players about how GGO, a game about cloned jackboots of capitalist tyrants, had always been political in the first place.

Klein decided that this was, in fact, enough Internet for the day and slid his PDA back into a pocket. "Wow, GGO players could have given us SAO players a lesson on how to be obnoxious."

"Remember that «Big Papa» meme a while back?" Kirito asked.

"I mean, how could I forget? Peak toxicity."

Sinon raised an eyebrow at that. "«Big Papa» build?"

Kirito had started to explain but Klein cut him off, "There was a certain build where if you have the right stats, and the right set of gear, you can force PvP on low level players with overpowered gear. It was called that because players often used the «Mourning Father» mask for a reduced Sword Skill cooldown in combination with «Ultra Big Sword». These two were relatively easy to get. Therefore, the «Big Papa» build. Only the scummiest of scum used it."

Sinon rolled her eyes. "So you used -"

"I used it! Me!" Klein cackled maniacally. "I griefed so many newbies, it wasn't even funny."

"It lasted for a long time, because Argus really takes their sweet time making patches, but after that point, twinking was no longer allowed," Kirito added.

"Twinking?" she asked again.

"It basically means doing PvP with low level newbies with overpowered gear. Yes, a level 100 player can just go 1v1 a level 5 player if need be. Unlike a lot of MMOs, there's nothing stopping a low level prancing around in endgame armour if you can get it. Argus is bad at balancing, you see," he explained.

"Oooh. I thought you were referring to yourself," she deadpanned.

The room was silent for a moment before Klein started howling with laughter. It was always amazing how Deep Dive tech could even replicate someone getting embarrassed, considering how red Kirito was right now. Sinon grinned her fanged grin.

"Okay, okay, knock it off. You know how hard it is to operate in a cave with shit lighting?" the Chop Doc said. "I'm almost done with the both of you."

They were all currently in one end of the cave, being operated on. True to his word, Colonel Honshu had sent his man with the best «Medicine» skill to operate on both Black Dog and the FuurinKazan. Fearing some sort of underhanded play to assassinate Dyne, Klein volunteered himself to get operated on first.

"Wouldn't it make more sense to send one of your underlings for the operation?" Dyne asked.

"As leader, I have to put my men before myself. Who knows what the Warhawks are really planning to do."

"You just want a bionic arm first,"he accused.

"Well yeah! You know how expensive these things are?!"

"No faith at all, you people," the Chop Doc by the name of VicVek said. "Aaand there you go. One functioning «Combat Arm Mk II» from Nico's Arms and Wargear."

Klein examined his new bionic: despite being called a bionic arm, it only replaced his forearm. It was a deep crimson, made of solid steel and weighing a good chunk, connecting to the stump of his elbow which itself had been replaced with a steel coil. It felt much stronger than his fleshy arm - currently in a plastic bag by the operating table. He flexed his hand, the metal fingers obeying his will like any part of his body. Despite the virtual reality, he could feel a substantial difference in performance.

Klein twisted his hand to see how far it could go, and to his surprise, it spun around at 360 degrees at great speed. "Woah!"

"That's not all," said Doc VikVek, a tough looking man who wore sunglasses indoors. "You can even upgrade it - stun wires, a flamethrower, a small caliber gun, the works. You can even paint it different colours, match that pink hair of yours."

"Can … can I install a chainsaw to it?" he asked, almost crying.

Now Kirito felt bad for not lending him his chainsword.

VikVek turned around and rummaged through the box of bionics. He plucked out a chainsaw from it, which is odd considering it was longer than the box it was taken out of. "Sure, but it'll cost extra."

Klein blinked back tears. "Groovy."


By the end of it, Black Dog and FuurinKazan had half their men cybered up. Half because that was the deal, the latter half after they got into the city proper.

Dyne's own upgrades were conservative: they fixed his spinal cord and installed a Vox Enhancer, giving him a very discreet speaker in his throat. The rest of Black Dog did similar - bionic eyes, integrated comms into their ears, smoke filters in their noses. Effective and discreet.

This was quite the contrast with FuurinKazan: Klein had his new arm and was switching between hand, bionic and chainsaw attachments with the glee of a child in a candy store. One of his buddies, the machine gunner called Dale, had installed an exoskeleton bionic not too different from Honshu's, but much bulkier and bigger. Another, Kunimitz, had replaced his legs with Jump Steps, which as he described it, "Let him jump good."

"Hope you don't die, or you'll respawn back at Glocken, friend," said the Warhawk colonel.

"Why aren't your men cybered up?" asked Klein.

"Oh, most are. Anyone above level 25 can get them. We even have a special program where we pay for their respawn rates for a finite number of times per month. Most of the troops you're seeing are rookies - they're not worth the money to be spent on," he explained.

Klein worriedly glanced at the cost of respawning the cloning vats. It was far, far too high for his liking. "Guess I just won't die. Easy peasy."

"Boss, out of everyone in this squad, you've died the most," said Kunimitz, the sniper of the group; he had an Eagle Eye, a telescopic replacement which allowed him to ditch his scope.

The rest of the yojimbos chuckled. Klein frowned. "You shut your mouth, Kun."

They were all in the process of getting ready to move. Sinon went to Kirito, currently tuning up his rifle at a workbench. She couldn't remember the last time he did his AR-15; the rifle's red dot sight was in need of a serious upgrade and the magazines were all banged up with how aggressive he tended to roll around.

But he had been a good student, and took to maintaining his gear to heart. In the corner was his flak vest, all fixed up thanks to Smith's work.

"How's your new implant?" she asked.

"This?" He pulled back his left sleeve, revealing a curious contraption: a bracer with multiple buttons and dials, clinging snugly onto his forearm. Kirito popped open a cover, revealing multiple vials. "It's a nifty gadget alright, it'll be super useful."

"You know, you could just take combat drugs normally, right? No need for an implant in the first place."

Drugs were a popular consumable among «Stromtrooper» builds. Any sort of engagement that required charging into a heavily defended position, door-to-door raids, or urban combat, drugs were an effective solution. The most popular drug was «Pain-B-Gone», a morphine equivalent which everyone used; despite the fact no one felt pain, the virtual body certainly did. But there was also «Davai Davai», which increased reflexes and speed, and «Chill Handx», which steadied a player's aim. Even Sinon was known to use that from time to time.

The issue was effective use of combat drugs was tied to your «Medicine» skill. Despite common sense, most players don't invest in any save for the most basic of first aid. Due to the high lethality nature of the game, it was just more worth your time to respawn at the nearest cloning vat. For solitary players like Sinon and Kirito, the basics were sufficient. For big guilds like the Warhawks, a dedicated doctor saved expensive trips to the vats.

That, and using a drug wrong had a high chance of just outright killing you. The devs had a grim sense of humour like that.

"Yeah, but I don't like … you know, using them. In SAO, we just drink a potion and that's that."

"I've seen your character sheet, you've got pretty high «Medicine». You can use them safely unless …" Sinon smirked. "Kaz, are you afraid of needles?"

"It's not fair!" He picked a syringe of «Davai Davai», coloured bright red. "I have to inject this into my arm. Literally shove this piece of sharp metal into my vein! That's horrifying!"

"The entire game is about other people shooting pieces of metal into you. You're afraid of needles but not afraid of running into gunfire with a sword? That bracer of yours is directly connected to your arm!"

He looked away. "That's totally different. Besides, this bracer lets me pump myself full of drugs by just willing it. It also won't give me an overdose and kill me."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you from the mean needles and the tight spaces." Sinon drabbed her arms around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head. "After this session, we should order cheesecake."

He shivered at the memory of being cooped up in the drop pod. "So is cheesecake supposed to be our super special dessert food?"

"We did meet and argue over it after all."

"I'd like it to be. Unlike you though, I don't exercise enough to burn off the fat. Might not be able to fit in a drop pod together again."

Her cat ears twitched. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Er, I mean ... uh ..." Damn, catgirl got his tongue. "I mean, you did grow half a foot and bulked up."

"But you like that though." He was vaguely aware how thick her arms were now. "And that's not to mention the gear we both have."

He nodded. "That, and you've got a big ass."

The cavern was filled with a thick silence. It was broken by a high, piercing slap.


Thirty plus players stalked the beaches of Corinth. It was decided by Colonel Honshu that they would send everyone in waves while also leaving some behind in the caves as an outpost. That, and the fact that as many as the Warhawks were, many of them were logged out for IRL reasons.

The first group was led by Captain Ruth and two dozen Warhawks. He was far too low level to be one in Kirito's opinion, and even worse, had little idea of what to do. Their current mission was to ensure the way was safe, so they could meet up with Major Nikita and the rest of the Zakon i Dolg. According to CHAD, they had lost contact recently and he couldn't spare any of his men to check up on them.

"Oh hey, sword guy. Nice to see you again!" he said cheerily, wielding an upgraded plasteel baseball bat. They were walking down the coast back to the sewer entrance that they escaped from. It was wild meeting him as a highwayman, then as a POW, and now as a captain. "Where's Sinonon?"

"Nice to see you too." Despite the robbery attempt, Kirito held no hard feelings over it. "Uh, yeah. She's fine, safe with her owner."

"Oh." The man looked downright sad at the lack of a blue furball.

"So what's up with that Sinon chick. She kinda looks like Sinonon!" Said sniper was not talking to him at the moment, and was scouting ahead of the column.

Oh, and he wasn't bright either. Troubling. "Don't worry about that. Didn't you ask for me?"

"So uh, listen … I don't really know how to do this leader thing. You got any ideas?"

"Don't you have sergeants for this?"

"No! A lot of us are pretty low level if you hadn't noticed!"

He did notice. They had better than average gear but that was about it. "What do you want me to do exactly?"

"Give me advice, tactics. Quote Sunny Zoo or some shit. I don't know!"

"Okay, let me think. Hold on." Kirito put on his best thinking face, which was basically putting his fist to his lips and furrowing his brow. Discreetly, he activated his psycaster bracelet.

"Sinon."

Silence.

"Sinoooon."

Sigh.

"I meant it as a compliment!"

"I do not have a fat ass!" she replied loudly in his head. "My ass is made of solid steel! It is goddamn toned as hell! Squats and oats!"

"I didn't say fat I said big!"

A psychic gasp. "How dare you!"

Kirito would think years of being a boyfriend would teach him wisdom but nope. "You called me a twink!"

"And I'm going to obliterate that twink ass when we're finished! You wished your ass was this hard! You better not forget that, Kirigaya, you understand?!"

He could hear her take a deep breath. Somehow.

"So what's up?" she asked cooly.

Scary woman, his girlfriend. "Captain Ruth needs help organising his troops, he has no idea what to do."

"And you think I just happen to have a battle order in mind?"

"... yes?"

"Of course I do. I do this kind of thing for fun."

So Kirito repeated what Sinon told her. Taking the advice, Ruth had his troops, with their gray drab uniform and their Howa Type 89s assault rifles, into something resembling actual fireteams.

They were all clearly new players, and new players tended to express themselves with guns they think would be cool. Large guilds tended to erase that individuality, turning the average infantryman into a cog of the war machine. GGO was an outlier in most MMOs, where most guilds required and demanded players to fit their doctrine. Each guild uses this rifle, uses this ammo type, and were given these uniforms - all for the sake of standardisation, which was in Kirito's opinion, pretty fair. He could only imagine the nightmare of maintaining a company, much less armour and vehicles.

But they tended to be much more lax than actual militaries. Kirito could see the odd player with a non-standard sidearm (mostly fancy revolvers), players with better gear than the rest of their comrades, players with the fancier attachments. Not unlike most games, the better you were, the more you were allowed to self express.

That, or you could be lone wolves like Kirito or Sinon, who valued their individuality above most. It came at the cost of being a hassle to get your gear fixed or find the right ammo, but that was a small price to pay.

By the time the fireteams were established, they reached the sewer entrance. Sinon was waiting there, her Lynx on her back, Dyne's borrowed FAMAS in hand. "The sewers should be mostly safe, but the monsters could have respawned."

"No problem, we can handle that!" said Ruth, all confident. "Team 1, lead the way. We'll follow after you."

The Warhawks looked at each other before a private raised a hand. "Uh, captain? Who's team 1?"

Kirito and Sinon both resisted the urge to facepalm.

Another private raised their hand. "Captain, we don't have enough flashlights either!"

Then they both facepalmed.


According to Montke the Elder, no battle plan survives first contact with the enemy.

Of all his years on the battlefield, nothing came quite as close to this. The sheer complexity of the mission, sneaking into a hostile city to decapitate their leadership. He had always been the soldier, rarely the leader. But now, he had embraced his role, and his comrades were loyal and true. It was the best feeling in the world. Despite the death of Vlad, who was currently in the mountain base, and some close calls, it had been going well.

But like all plans, it's not a matter if a plan goes wrong, but when.

He looked at the map on the table: it was the city of Corinth - an almost pornographic obsession to detail. The kind of city that was built by master game developers who, with the power of programming, transported the true city into the false world. It must have taken months of work and thousands of dollars to recreate it.

And it was currently on fire.

"Hmm, troubling," he said to himself. The Clearers had yet to breach the walls. For all intents and purposes, they were alone.

Someone appeared at the bottom of the stairs, clad in the fatigues of the Zakon i Dolg. "Sir! I've a report!"

"Proceed, soldier," he said, without looking up from the map. They were the only two people in the basement. Finally, Nikita had decided to send a runner.

"Major Nikita requests more men to take the police station. Her assault team has suffered heavy casualties."

Ah, there it is. "Why isn't she using the radio?"

"The enemy hacked the encryption, she had to send me instead."

Understandable. His men didn't have the best encryption tools on him, owing to the fact they were far too cumbersome to be brought from the Mount Parnassus base. And his own men were away on another mission. Problems and problems.

His PDA buzzed, and he felt a sudden surge of anger before smothering it. Text messages were not encrypted. This better be worth it.

"Excuse me, private." He read the message and went, "Hmm, it's about time."

"Sir?"

"Very well. Send a message back to Major Nikita. Change of plans." He wrote something on a piece of paper. The Zakon trooper took the paper to read it.

It said: Nice try.

"Huh?"

A fist size hole exploded from the back of the trooper's head as the .357 Magnum went through his forehead. The bullet was strong enough to lodge itself into the ceiling. CHAD replaced his Manurhin back into his holster.

Someone came running down the stairs, sidearm drawn. "What the hell?"

The gas masked man tut-tut'ed. "Sloppy, Makarov. I expected better of someone who works with AEGIS Securities."

The corpse morphed, death had turned its biology unstable. Its skin shedded like a snake's, it's hands enlarged to twice its size with great sharp nails. The clothes and flak of the Zakon trooper changed to a dozen different colours and textiles. The blood began to boil, releasing an unpleasant odour. What was left was not a man but a thing, its skin dark as night, its eyes red like blood; it had no mouth, instead a long alien jaw that almost reached its chest; white ribs covered its torso like armour.

In the creatures malformed hand was a dagger, coated with glistening poison.

The lieutenant prodded the corpse with the tip of his boot. "Shit, what is this thing?"

"«Mimic Assassins», one of the Good Doctor's most recent inventions. It can change its body to suit its needs. It can even morph into animals, if my info from Garbo is correct."

A spike of paranoia went down Makarov's spine at the implication of this new enemy type. "I did see a dog on the camera feeds. I just thought it was a stray … I guess I shouldn't be surprised considering one of the players we have is a literal cat. How'd you know it was an assassin?"

"I smelled the falseness on him, like a rat wearing glasses and a fake moustache."

Makarov gave him a look.

"Okay, Nikita just texted me. Someone took out her commissar and tried to kill her," he admitted. "This does mean we're compromised."

Makarov sighed and holstered his pistol. "I'll notify the lads that we have to worry about freaking Clayface in our ranks and start moving our HQ elsewhere."

"Have you contacted the Rebels? Have they found another safehouse for us? This site's compromised."

"Don't know yet, I'll get to them. Anything else?"

"Recall Archangel and the other Virtues, we'll need their support for other work."

Makarov scratched his temple. "This ain't going well, is it?"

"Nope."

"How are you so calm?"

CHAD was making a few notes in his PDA. "First of all, it's a video game. There are players in GGO that take this way too seriously. Personally, I use GGO to relax."

"This," he spread his arms around the basement, "is relaxing to you?"

In the distance, something exploded.

"Secondly," he continued, "when the whole world's falling apart, and nothing goes to plan, the only thing you can do is stay calm. All we can do is move on and adapt to changing situations as best we can."

CHAD knelt down and dipped a gloved finger into the Mimic's gooey corpse. "Looks like we have to contend with imposters a-"

Makarov, who was born a Millennial, experienced sudden violent flashbacks. "Please don't finish that sentence, I beg of you."


Welcome back, everyone. Not much in the way of action, I'm afraid. But hey, we got to see Sugu again. And of course, you get to see the cool cyberware. For the longest time I wondered how to put them into the story, this seemed like a good time as any.

If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a review. If you can't leave an in-depth one, just leave "Groovy" at the end. This makes me a happy writer.

Until then, back to Merchant Prince!