Date posted: 21st October 2022

Hello everyone, bit a later than I would have liked but that's life. Had a busy month overall, and I spent two weeks writing a one-shot that hasn't gone anywhere. I doubt that'll be posted anytime soon, so that's why it's taken this long to post this.

Important news: No Merchant Prince this month, sadly. And none next mother either, I'm afraid.

I'm going to start National Novel Writing Month and finish a story I've wanted to. As yours truly is almost close to publishing his first official short story! I think it's high time I decide to take my writing seriously and write original stuff.

Worry not! I won't be retiring from fanfiction anytime soon. I will be finishing Sinonon and Merchant Prince, but the ending will come sometime next year. And there's also Retold which will be finished before my death, I swear. I also, have always wanted to write Fallout fanfics. When that day comes, you'll know if you Follow/Fav me!

Also, RimWorld: Biotech is coming out, in like an hour, after I post this. Soooo, gotta do that before tackling NaNaWriMo.

As always, you can find me on the Discord server.


Chapter 20: The Nature of Kitteh

Two Deep Dwellers in scrap armour manned the checkpoint at the end of the hallway, one manning an M60 on a tripod, the other a makeshift flamer. They were bored out of their skulls.

The architecture was devilishly planned: in front of their spots, there was a hundred meter road, followed by a bend to the left. The entire roadway, dubbed the Kalokagathos Hellway, was littered with such straight angles. It was hostile architecture at its most antagonistic.

Once upon a time, the underground shelter, one of dozens across the nation, would have housed the citizens of the nation from the horrors of nuclear warfare. But corruption ran rampant even when Greece's neighbours suffered invasions. A pre-Kataklysmos engineer by the name of John Kalokagathos, or Saint Gathos as the Deep Dwellers referred to, was the man who ran the project. It was his design that the fallout shelters were based on, but most of the money and resources were stolen, and very few were ever built.

Only Under-Corinth was the one completed, yet even then, corners were cut. Not enough chambers for the hundreds of thousands of civilians, too few hydroponics and seeds to feed them, and there were supposed to be four power plants installed. It was said Saint Gathos was the last man to enter the shelter, and died to nuclear fire before he could enter. Every home had a statue of the saint, an elderly man in a coat with a safety helmet, usually placed under a statue of Hesukristos.

The Dweller on the flamethrower nervously fingered his crucifix. In programming terms, they were more alert, had quicker reactions, but less accuracy. It was, completely possible within the mechanics of the game, for players to literally scare enemies to death. This was mostly done by stalking a group of NPCs, taking them out one by one, maybe even brutally desecrating bodies. If this were done to players, their VR console would eject them from the game and even call emergency services.

As the Dweller stared at the bend of the road, he heard something. "Who's there?! Show yourself!"

His comrade awoke startled and racked the bolt of his machine gun. If he had to kill another mutated pig, or someone's Flesh Pupper got loose again, he was going to turn it into paste …

The shadow on the wall showed a quadruped of sorts, a chonky body, lots of fur, and an equally fluffy tail. The lack of tentacles and human limbs indicated it wasn't anyone's Flesh Pupper, but the fur indicated a big cat of sorts, an attack animal?

"You have on the count of three to reveal yourself before we open fire! One! Two! Th-"

The creature rounded the corner and the Dweller relaxed his finger off the trigger. It was a cat. A blue cat of all things. With bright blue eyes to boot. Most creatures in the Wastes had undergone some form of mutation, usually to be sturdier, harder, and more dangerous. Dogs with oversized canines, foxes with larger paws to dig, and, perhaps most strangely, every cow now had two heads.

But not cats. A cat post-Kataklysmos was no different from a cat before the world ended. Perhaps it spoke of the cat's position on the totem pole; they were, after all, the apex predator.

But the Dweller had never seen a cat with such colour. Perhaps it was gene-spliced. You never know how it is around here. He waved it away. "Shoo! Shoo! Get away, kitty! You're on the road!"

The blue cat titled its head. "Nya."

The Dweller sighed. "Christos, get it out of here!"

Christos looked at him. "Me? I've got four noses and a terrible allergy, Ahmed. You pick it up."

"I don't like cats."

"Yeah, but you ain't allergic to em', aren't ya?"

Ahmed looked at Christos, and back to the cat. It had compacted itself into something akin to a loaf of bread. He sighed.

"Fine. But I want your pudding ration for the next break!"

The Dweller walked to the cat and squatted. It was very clean, and, curiously, wearing clothes: a pair of green pyjamas and a white scarf. "What the hell you doing here?"

"Nya!"

"Go away, there's going to be vehicles coming through." So many trucks. The Good Doctor (may The Father watch over him), had summoned tribes of Deep Dwellers to reinforce the Surface, as all of them had given oath to the Pact. Thankfully, it did not include him or his tribe. The idea of going up there to face Helios Tyrannos scared the living shit out of him.

The cat stood and stretched as it continued to stare at him. "What, whatcha doing here anyway?"

"Being a distraction."

The Dweller felt a sudden coldness in his throat and a warmness as his blood poured from the incision. He gasped, blood bubbling from the hole in his throat. He collapsed to his knees and curled in a pool of his own blood.

Kirito wiped the blood on the back of his shirt. "I cannot believe how evil we're being. This is the fifth checkpoint we've taken out."

"Being evil is the default state of all kittehs."

"Evil is right, I'm doing all the work here." Kirito tapped on his radio. "Alright guys, come on through."

It took a few minutes for the rumble of vehicles to come by: Tadao sat upon Lyubimaya 2.0 followed by Lyubimaya 1.0 following him on autopilot; Mason on his CAMEL and Titanium Wall on his retro bike. Well, technically speaking, as this was in the grim dark future, all their gear was retro. Only the Overlords' private army actually owned all the fancy power armour and energy weapons.

"WE ARE GOING TOO SLOW!" proclaimed the Wall. "LET ME BE THE TIP OF THE SPEAR AND BLAST ANY FOOL WITH MY GRENADE LAUNCHER, COMMISSAR!"

"If I had a dozen or more Outriders, sure. But seeing as we're missing one bike already, that is very unwise. Stealth and speed are our strengths instead of speed and firepower, as we intended. How's the nuke holding, Mason?"

"Better than I am." The CAMEL vented exhaust from its underbelly, its machine gun lay mostly unused. The sheer amount of stuff it was carrying made it look lopsided, but it held steady the whole way. "Please tell me we're almost there."

"Afraid not. Our map is completely inaccurate, to no one's surprise. We need to hit a command center for something more accurate."

"The machine gunner is knocked out, as you requested," said Kirito.

"Good. Mason, tie him to your CAMEL. We'll need to find somewhere safe to interrogate him."

Sinon meowed. Kirito translated, "Sinon says she knows a place nearby."


Nearby was a generous term, in Under-Corinth.

They were three kilometers beneath the earth. A spiderweb of tunnels and roads expanding like veins in the human body. From the map they were given, red blots marked Deep Dweller strongholds and outposts and there were sure a lot of red blots. There were but a couple splashes of green, 'empty' spaces not patrolled, but often had their own unfriendly fauna.

Technically speaking, they weren't that far from their objective - only ten kilometers in a straight line.

But the Hellway was anything but. Beneath the earth, it might as well have been the distance between Japan and China.

Nuke Squad not only had to go through enemy checkpoints, but also had to deal with the greatest threat to vehicles since ancient times, an enemy that baffled all armies, from the ancient warriors of the Akkadian Empire to even the professional soldiers of modern times.

The Wall felt a sharp pain go up his spine; or as close as GGO could replicate such unpleasant sensation in Full Dive anyway. "POTHOLES. MORE POTHOLES."

"And the rest of Zakon wonder why I use a cybersteed," said Tadao, smugly. "Don't have to deal with that at all."

"Tadao-san, Lyubimiya has broken her ankles four times now. I'd know because my Lyubimiya has broken hers five times!"

"See, that's where you're wrong, Kirito. Unlike real horses, we can fix their legs if they get broken."

The Wall looked confused at that. "WHY? WHAT HAPPENS TO HORSES THAT BREAK THEIR LEGS?"

Both Tadao and Kirito galloped forward to take point. Mason did his best to ignore the Wall. He gave up asking soon enough.

The Hellway wasn't just a completely hostile area swarming with enemy troops; though in actuality, they were easily dispatched with a combination of superior stealth, superior speed, superior firepower, or superior fuzzy animal distraction. They had to turn around when the encountered tunnels blocked by rubble, carefully navigate over questionably built bridges made of rope and plank, and once, even had to go through waist deep water in a flooded tunnel.

"You know, I'm really feeling this CAMEL. I like being on something tall," said Mason, the driest of the squad. "Though having to duck under pipes is pretty annoying."

"Hey, maybe you wanna change rides? I'll pay you in drugs," said Kirito.

"Thanks but no thanks."

Kirito pointed to Mason's drone, on which a very smug Sinon was sitting. "But she gets a free ride!"

"She is very smol and cute, and she let me pat her."

"Nya!"

"Well, you can pat me …"

"No."

Aside from the odd skirmish with a patrol or hiding from bigger patrols, they encountered numerous wonderful and terrible sites: giant drilling machines turned into homes, caves filled with radioactive waste, an underground lake where blind fish were raised for Dwellers to eat, train tracks that went on seemingly forever into the darkness and more. Even if they finished the DLC, the amount of content beneath the city would keep players satisfied for a very long time.

Along the way, they had to club their poor prisoner once or twice to keep him knocked out. The single time they didn't notice, the Dweller almost kicked the nuke off the CAMEL, which gave everyone such a fright, they all collectively agreed to log out to calm themselves. None of them had the necessary «Medicine» skill to safely sedate him, and Tadao was worried that he'd be killed before they reach their destination.

"You know, when you said nearby, I assume like a kilometre or two away. Not … God, I don't even want to know how long we've traveled," said Mason.

Sinon meowed and Kirito said, "No, no. For real. We really are almost there."

They emerged from one of the infinite tunnels, into a massive chamber, large enough to house entire apartment blocks. Above them, none could tell how high, an artificial sun bathed the entire area in dim light.

There was a faded billboard above them, happy families having a picnic in a park. The sign said EAST EDEN.


Centuries ago, Eden was designed to hold the brightest minds of Greece: scientists and doctors, philosophers and artists, engineers and inventors. An underground city with state of the art technology, automated factories to rebuild the world. Corinth was supposed to become the New Athens, reborn in a world of nuclear fire. For a time, Corinth was the seat of a new government, shed from the corruption of the old world.

But the Arch Traitor, Zeus Papadopoulos I, brought ruin to Corinth. It was he and a few others, who performed a dark ritual to summon dragons from Mars.

They came, bearing the horrors of old earth with them: hulking mechanical beasts, an unlimited horde of vat grown soldiers, and the power of Capital behind them. The Corinthians were enslaved, to be used as cheap labour to power the Overlords' factories. Their technology dismantled to be repurposed for their endless hunger for war. The Arch Traitor and his family were rewarded handsomely, bestowed the title of Tyrant of Hellenes and ruled Corinth for many generations.

Those who escaped the wrath burrowed underground once again, plotting their vengeance for centuries. The moment came when a doctor arrived and gave them an offer.

"SO THAT'S HOW THE DLC CAME TO BE!" said the Wall.

"Where on earth did you get all that lore, anyway?" asked Mason.

"IT IS SPRINKLED IN A BUNCH OF ITEM DESCRIPTIONS AND NOTES. ENVIRONMENTAL STORYTELLING AT ITS FINEST. THERE'S EVEN A SUBREDDIT CALLED R/GGOLORE THAT COLLECTS THIS SORT OF THING."

"Fascinating. MMOs don't tend to have a reputation for good storytelling."

"THERE'S A LORE GUY ON YOUTUBE THAT DOES VIDEOS ON IT. HIGH QUALITY STUFF. DID A RECENT RECAP OF THE WARLORDS OF SYRIA DLC, IT'S LIKE AN HOUR LONG. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS? "

"In my defense, I've only played this game for a few days. I haven't even touched the vanilla content yet. Don't worry, Wall-san. I'll do my homework."

"I SHALL SEND YOU A DISCORD LINK."

They had cooped up on the second floor of an apartment complex. It looked recently used, with all sorts of maps, charts and intel - a former office it looked like. It was almost homey and felt very out of place with all the ramshackle ghettos they had passed so far. Mason and the Wall parked their vehicles further ahead up the road to be less conspicuous.

When asked how Sinon knew of the place, she said she had overheard people speaking about Eden. "You'd be surprised at how many people throw OPSEC out the window around cats."

The commissar had locked the poor guard inside the bedroom. The whole place was being powered by a small chemfuel generator in the basement. Aside from leaking kitchen faucet and bare walls, it was in good shape.

"You know, I've been wondering," said Kirito. "Can you turn yourself back into your cat girl form?"

"Why? Do you miss your amazon cat girlfriend again?"

It was amazing how utterly smug Sinon looked in neko form. The tilt upwards, the squinting eyes, the ears flaring backwards, and the smile. Much like being evil, smugness too must be the natural state of kittehs.

"Well, I do like cat girls -"

"I am a cat and a girl right now."

"No. Cat girls and cat boys are a specific subspecies of cat folk. They have mostly human features but minor feline ones, like a tail and cat ears. This is different from antromorphic cats like from that one game. You know the one, with the cat people being merchants."

"Cat girls are cats, but not being a cat doesn't automatically make you a cat girl, you see."

Sinon pondered thoughtfully. "I see. I was not aware I was in the presence of a wise cat philosopher. I bow to your endless kitteh knowledge."

Kirito scratched her under the neck, which made her stand on her hind legs and stretch. He scratched the part just behind her tail. "Oooooh. That's the stuff!"

"I am worried that you're taking this too far."

"Scratch harder."

"Okay, but for real, can you change back into your normal form? We're one man short for the job here already."

"I … actually don't know how I turned back into this form." Sinon pawed the air in front of her to summon the options menu. "Doesn't seem to be an option to change here."

"Maybe it's like a mental command? I think that's how spells work in Alfheim Online."

"Hmm, let me try."

Sinon hopped off the counter and onto the floor. She took a stance, feet wide apart, face scrunched as she focused on … something.

"Well?"

"I'm trying."

"It looks like you're trying to poop."

"Shut up, you're distracting me." Her pupils had grown in size and she was baring her itty bitty fangs, and it took Kirito all of his willpower not to scoop her up and give her smooches.

"I'll leave you to it then," he said, as he left her by herself.

He knocked on the bedroom door and found it unlocked. Kirito entered to find the poor Dweller tied to a chair and the commissar sitting on the edge of the bed, his Redhawk in hand. The hostage was, for the most part, unharmed.

"Listen, buddy. The modus operandi for this sorta thing is that I pay you a fat check of cash and leave you be. Sadly, I left my wallet in my other pants today." He held a .45 bullet in his red gloved fingers. "Me and my friends are in a hurry, and I'm not in a particularly good mood, so here's what we're gonna do: we're gonna let Lady Luck decide."

He opened the chamber of his handgun and plopped the round in. Tadao dramatically spinned the chamber before closing it with a flick of his wrist. "You know, you're not supposed to do this with actual revolvers. It can damage the gun, and it's just bad practice. But for some reason the game loves its Westerns, and doing this actually gives a slight damage boost."

Tadao lowered the gun to aim at the Dweller's crotch. "Let's play a little game -"

"I'll tell you everything you want!"

Tadao hung his head. "Come on, man! I had a whole other half of a monologue to spill!" He turned around, as if just realising Kirito was there. "Can you believe this guy? I swear, the devs need to tweak «Prisoner Resistance». They break too easily."

Kirito made a face. "You want the game to be harder?"

"I value my roleplaying."

The swordsman gestured his hands towards Tadao's outfit. "Yeah, I can tell."

"You use a sword."

"Point taken."

The Dweller continued to spill the beans: a code for an armoury, number of guards, and troop movement. Tadao noted this all down in a notepad. "Thank you for your assistance."

"Are you gonna let me go?"

"Eh," he said, flipped his Redhawk around and smashed the butt into the mutant's temple so hard he fell to the ground, out cold.

"You're liable to break your grip, you know," said Kirito.

Tadao tapped the polished grip. "Redwood. Does extra «Knock Out» damage and has double the Durability."

"We're just gonna leave him here?"

"He'll despawn. Eventually."

They returned to the living room where Mason and the Wall watched Sinon trying to transform back into her human form. "THE KITTEH IS TRYING TO POOP ON THE FLOOR. SWORD MAN, STOP HER! NO! BAD SINON!"

"Nyaaaaa!"

"I don't speak cat but I think she's saying she isn't pooping," said Mason.

Tadao shook his head. "We can't do this mission with one man down. Well, one man turned cat."

"Sinon has done admirably despite being in her cat form. Besides, she's spent 70% of the DLC in cat form," argued Kirito.

"Nya!" she beamed.

"Regardless, we need more hands, not paws. Our guest has spilled the beans on some extra equipment. Seeing as someone can't turn back into her human form, we need to level the playing field. Maybe we can strap Sinon's Lynx on the CAMEL's side?"

Sinon came up to Tadao's boots and started biting. "Nyrgh! Nyaarhgghh!"

"She doesn't want you to touch her gun," said Kirito.

He picked up Sinon by the scruff of her neck and brought her to eye level. "Yes, I can see that. But there's only so much you can contribute in your current form. Either you turn back to normal, or we'll have to use your guns for something."

Sinon, her eyes enormous: "you PICK Sinonon? you pick her body like the lootbox? oh! oh! ban for commissar! ban for commissar for One Thousand Years!"

"What's she saying?" asked Tadao.

"She, um, will be trying her best to regain her real form."

"This is discrimination. It is Nekophobia."

"I see," said Tadao, as he ignored the cat digging her fangs into his hand. "You've got points in «Mechanics», right? Mason, let's see if we can -"

Suddenly, everyone could see their own breath as the chill gripped their very souls.

Kirito glanced at the kitchen sink: the faucet had stopped leaking and the drop of water had turned frozen.

"What the -" said Mason.

"AN ENEMY?" said the Wall, as he flicked his BAR's safety off.

"Can't be, I left Nahla outside, there's no one here," said Mason, checking his deck. "I'm not even picking up any signs."

Tadao unceremoniously dropped Sinon to the floor. He reloaded the rest of his gun with the speed only his build could do. Kirito's hand reached for his sword.

"I recognise this coldness," said Tadao. "Once, while I was hunting a mark in the Levant with my ex-bounty hunter buddies."

"Kirito, you've felt this before," said Sinon.

"I have?"

"Don't you remember, back when -"

Mason looked at her, wide eyed. "Um, Sinon-san. You're uh -"

"Nya?" she said, and looked down.

She was floating six feet above ground. Then, with great force, thrown out the window. "Nyaaaa!"

The Wall's mouth was agape. "THE KITTEH HAS DISCOVERED THE POWER OF FLIGHT! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

Tadao had both Redhawks in hand now. "Wall, you idiot! That wasn't her! This must be the work of an enemy psy-"

His revolvers were ripped out of his hand, floated in the air, before rotating backwards, barrels pointed back at him.

"What the-"

The guns' hammer cocked and Tadao took a double shot of .45 ACP right in the chest, throwing him to the ground.

Kirito dove for cover, vaulting over the kitchen counter as a chair flew straight past where his head was just moments before. The Wall was too slow and took a coffee table in the knee, eating the floor.

Kirito mentally called out for Sinon. "Sinon! Are you okay?!"

"I'm fine! I'll find the enemy psycaster!"

Before Kirito could say anymore, Tadao's guns started shooting up the counter as Kirito kept his head down. The commissar stood up winded, snatched his guns from the air and quickly unloaded the rest of the rounds from the chamber. Mason did the same with his Rattler. "We need to retreat!" said Tadao.

"THE WALL BELIEVES HIS LEG IS BROKEN!" said the GI, as he too unloaded his weapons. "TAKEN OUT BY A COFFEE TABLE, THE MOST DEVIOUS OF FURNITURES!"

The window by the door crashed open, and a flashbang was lobbed in the middle of the room. Kirito did the math in his head; not even hyped up on drugs could he have gotten to it and thrown it back in time.

He didn't have to, as Mason punted the grenade like a second-grade soccer player. It flew down the hallway and into the bathroom, exploding in a flash of white. Something caught on fire.

The door broke open, revealing a Dweller militiaman with a double barrel, a brand new flak vest under his coat. The players stared dumbly, as they stood there with their unloaded weapons.

But as a wise man once said, swords have infinite ammo.

The revving of the chainsaw was almost as loud as a gunshot in the confines of the apartment. It made the enemy pointman pause for but a second, which was all Kirito needed.

The teeth of the sword cut him from shoulder to hip, turning the shotgun into scrap metal in the process. The Dweller was thrown back, where a buddy stood behind him with an Uzi. Kirito spun, striking to his left and right, slaying the breach team in the span of seconds.

The smoke from his chainsaw's exhaust mixed with his own breath in the cold. He turned around and gave everyone a thumbs up. "KFotoSvsF, baby."

No one acknowledged his thumbs up, as everyone stared at Kirito's floating arming sword. It shone under the new coat of oil he had just given it.

The rest of Nuke Squad took cover as they reloaded their guns.

Kirito shed a single tear. "Et tu, sword-kun?"

The plasteel blade flew at him and Kirito swung.


Outside of the apartment block, Sinon ran around, desperately trying to find the enemy psycaster.

The apartment block looked surreal, being so deep underground. It looked not too different from her own actually which added to the strangeness.

The cold was strong; it felt like when she helped change Kirito's tires. She was faster in this form than her bipedal one, and she found the speed to be almost nostalgic despite only owning her cat girl form for a few days.

She passed the main gates of the complex and immediately dove for cover behind a nearby trash can. A truck of Dwellers had arrived and were unloading ten militiamen, all with a variety of SMGs and shotguns. Their leader was a Stormtrooper in full flak with a fancy new AK with optics. "Surround the exit points. The wizard wants them dead and buried!"

Where the hell was this psycaster? They couldn't be too far from here.

It had been a long time since Sinon had fought psycasters. They were the most despised enemies in-game, aside from snipers and artillery. But the wizards had a special place in GGO's history. They began as reskinned wizards from the Black Circle questline from SAO, and had similar powers. From what she learned from Kirito, they used to have much crazier powers: turning into giant monsters, shooting lightning out of their hands, resurrecting the dead and turning players' gear into rust.

GGO's wizards had some of the same abilities, but were repurposed to fit the setting. They loved using telekinesis to attack players (Kirito sometimes still complained about being killed by his own ricochet) but she had never seen such control to this degree.

She sneezed. This cold was getting to her. Even the psycaster bracelet around her neck was getting too much. The further she got away from the apartment, the colder it became.

Realisation dawned on her. She knew what to do.

It took a moment for Sinon to tell the difference in temperature but as she raced down the street, towards where they had hid their vehicles, she knew she was on the right track. The windows would have a clear LoS between the apartment they stayed at. Where was it?

There, she spotted the enemy. A hooded figure by the window of the third floor, pointing a staff outwards. Fantasy wizards wore hats, but scifi wizards wore hoods; everyone knew that.

The guards were well hidden, but Sinon sniffed them out; quite literally. She spotted an enemy hiding in a pile of leaves, another in a pile of trash, and one behind a dirty window. The barrels of their rifles stuck out, ever so slightly. Amateurs.

Sinon easily squeezed through a hole in the fence (being liquid too is the nature of kitteh) and quickly climbed the stairs, avoiding the tripwire explosives someone had placed and the very Looney Tunes-esque anvil hanging from the ceiling.

Her bracelet/collar was biting into her and she knew she was at the right door. It was closed, and the windows were sealed. There wasn't even anyone standing guard, or if there was, there were inside. She walked around the apartment complex, looking for any conveniently placed air ducts (a lost art really, someone should write an article about it) but found none.

It then occurred to her that, even if she could get in, she was in no position to kill anyone. The only person she could kill was probably Kirito with her sheer cuteness.

As she thought about what to do, the door swung open unexpectedly. What was revealed shocked her.

It was a small creature, below five feet. It was hunchbacked to the point its back looked like a camel's hump. It looked ancient, with half its face permanently scowling as it was suffering from face paralysis and its eyes were mismatched in colour and size, with the left blue eye twice as big than the right black eye. Blood dripped from its nose and held onto its staff with a bony hand.

The mutant thing looked down at her. "Didn't I just throw you out the window a minute ago?" he said.

Blue eyes widened. Oh oh.

"I'll deal with you later, I have your friends to kill," he said.

Sinon found herself at the door one moment and flying through the apartment in the other. She slammed into the bathroom mirror, leaving a spider web of cracks and landed in the sink. The door slammed shut and closed with a click of the lock.

"None shall survive the psychic onslaught of «The Mind Boggler!»" he said through the door. A psychic wave washed through the apartment and Sinon found the already cold sink getting even colder.

"I shall tear the slave-soldiers of the Overlords, atom by atom!" he said nefariously, then began cackling. Sinon rolled her eyes; wizards were a bunch of drama queens. Then again, if she had telekinetic powers, she probably would do the same.

Hopping out the sink, she tried to find a way out. She looked up to see a hole in the crumbling ceiling, and with some neko-parkour, found herself hopping from beam to beam. Finding a hole, she poked her little head through it.

The Mind Boggler swung his staff about like a concert conductor would his baton, the very air around him shimmering and pulsing, distorting the very fabric of reality. Gunshots and chainsaw revving could be heard from across the street and Sinon knew she had to end it immediately.

She looked about the room, trying to find something but found nothing. How the hell did she turn into a cat in the first place again?

Sinon tried to recall what happened when they were escaping the base: she threw her gear at her squad, just as debris was about to squish her. Maybe it was just a bonk to the head?

She leapt from the sink and rammed straight into the door. All it accomplished was decrease her health. "Nyaaaa." Well that wasn't it.

The gunshots continued to get louder. Her squad was surviving at least, but not for long. Not in such close quarters with a dozen men coming down on them. Think, Asada, think! What was the trigger?!

She felt a deep sense of worry and fear of death. She was using up all her vacation days to play this stupid game, and not winning the DLC was an admission of defeat. If word was let out at work, they'd never let her hear the end of it. Not only that, but Kirito even halted some work for his clients just to get her body back.

What if Kirito hated her for it? What if they broke up? What if he stopped making her waffles? What if he stopped petting her?!

She started scratching the door to the bathroom, tiny claws digging into the old wood. Let me out! Let me ouuuut!

Claws dug into paint, then into wood, and sure enough, a hole had begun to form. Sinon realised that her little paws had turned into hands and she was lying on her tummy on the dirty bathroom floor.

She stood up and checked the cracked mirror. She smiled, fangs bearing. Her face was devilish as a dozen Sinons looked back at her.

On the other side of the door, the Mind Boggler cackled as he assaulted the vatborn with his psychic might. The cowboy was shooting at the incoming soldiers with a repeater. The swordsman was taking cover behind a pillar, badly wounded. The grunt with the broken leg was lying prone, providing suppressing fire. He could not find the fourth man, the decker, though he spotted the drone hovering behind him as he went into one of the bedrooms. And to top it all off, there was smoke and fire coming from the bathroom. Everything was going to plan.

The psycaster had tried and failed to rip their guns out of their hands, seeing as they had held onto them much firmer. The grunt even had his BAR tapped to the floor and the swordsman had a lanyard around his wrist. It would only work once as the element of surprise was gone.

The orb atop his staff glowed blue as he erected a Skipshield on the pointman of the militia, the bullets slamming into the barrier and bounced off. The cowboy had pulled a bigger, heavier revolver from his back and shot it, shattering the shield and throwing the pointman onto the ground. His comrades dragged into cover before he could be chewed up by the grunt's BAR.

So focused was he on his casting, he didn't notice the hole appearing in the bathroom door until it was too late.

His mouth hung open, as a fierce face popped through the hole. The Mind Boggler nearly dropped his staff as he was rooted in place, fear striking into his very bones.

She shot him an unhinged smile, eyes feral, fangs glinting. "Here's Sinonon!"


A body dropped from the second floor onto a conveniently placed pile of cardboard boxes. Yet even that was just barely enough to cushion the fall. Tadao peaked over the edge. "Wall, are you okay?!"

"GRAVITY IS BUT A LOW LEVEL ENEMY FOR THE WALL."

Tadao dropped down after him. "Come on, we need to get to our vehicles."

The commissar's heart skipped a beat as the GI pulled out his 1911 and aimed it at him. Two shots and he looked at himself, and found no gaping wounds. He turned around to see two dead militiamen. "Thanks."

The Wall jerked his gun to the other side and Tadao readied his repeater, only to see a familiar mechanical beast coming through the gates. The machine gun on the CAMEL was firing backwards at an unseen enemy. "Come on, we gotta move. I've cleared a path."

Tadao helped the Wall up, slowly getting to the CAMEL. It was a difficult thing, mounting such a tall machine, but investing his points into STR more than the average gunslinger had been worth it. "Wait, where's Kirito?"

A second body toppled from above, and riding it was Kirito. The militia soldier landed on the pavement with a sickening crack, breaking his spine. The weight of the player atop him broke his ribs and crushed his heart. The swordsman stepped off the body, as easily as he would a step of stairs.

"I need to take on a Thunder Fighter, right now."

"Do not jinx us." Tadao saw black veins creeping up Kirito's neck. "Are you high?"

"Extremely!" The swordsman produced a shiny vial from a leather casing. "Gotta thank ol' Vlady for these amazing «Davai Shots»."

"FRIEND KIRITO, YOU HAVE MANY HOLES IN YOU."

He waved the worries away. "Don't worry it's slowly healing."

"You still need to patch yourself up, you idiot." Tadao was currently missing his Outriders very much.

The squad had made it out of the apartment blocks, racing down the street on their rides. Another truck had come around the corner, which the Wall dispatched with his grenade launcher. The explosive detonated at the front of the truck, which made it swerve into another incoming truck.

They made their way two blocks down before Mason spoke up, "Wait, aren't we forgetting someone?"

The Wall's eyes widened. "MY BIKE! WE CAN'T LEAVE IT HERE!"

"Who cares about your bike, man, Sinon's fighting a freaking wizard!" said Kirito. The fact that any and all psychic attempts on their life had ceased must have meant the two were locked in combat. He doubted she could out-kawaii her way out of this one.

"It's not far, I left the bike down the road because it doesn't have autopilot," said Mason. "We're almost there, we hid them just down the road -"

Glass rained from the sky as multiple bodies fell onto the asphalt, making everyone suddenly break. Soldiers in good kit, wielding good rifles, and most notably, a horribly deformed mutant that looked like someone had tortured him with a cheese grater. What followed next was a familiar blue haired figure, who landed as gracefully as, well …

A very blood drenched Sinon stood up and waved. "Yo."

"Sinon, you're back!" said Kirito.

"Can we please stop dropping bodies from above," said an irate Tadao.

"I was actually on my way to get back to you guys." She pointed a sharp nail at the hooded mutant. "I killed the wizard."

"We can see that," said Tadao. "Let's get moving before backup arrives."

"I'll take Wall's bike. Wall, keys please?"

"..."

"Wall-san?"

"IT'S MY BIKE!" he whined, not unlike a kid.

The vein that appeared atop Tadao's forehead was liable to explode and drench everyone in blood. "We do not have the time to move you from the CAMEL to your bike, soldier! Give her your goddamn keys!"

The Wall reluctantly tossed Sinon his keys, but not before rumbling something about the avaricious nature of kittehs.

As sped to their objective, leaving a trail of destruction behind them, Kirito caught up to Sinon. "You know, I've always wondered something?"

"Yeah?" she shouted over the wind.

"Why is it that when you transform back and forth, you still wear your clothes? Like, why did your scarf grow in size when you emerged from that vat tank? Or how you were wearing a bodysuit?"

"I dunno! Maybe it was because of CERO ratings!"

"The what?"

"The age ratings! You know GGO is rated Z, for Adults 18 and above, right?"

"Oh." He looked sad at that. "I was kinda hoping, you know …"

"Hey, where's my tomahawk anyway?"

"On the CAMEL, I think. Why?"

"So I can bonk you."

Kirito and Sinon laughed as they raced down the road.


"What's with Kazuto? He looks sad."

"He recently lost a loved one."

Suguha gasped, putting a hand over her mouth. "What?! Who?!"

"His precious Sword-kun. It broke."

"His what?"

Shino looked over where Kazuto was running - well, running seemed to be too generous a term. It was more like slouch-walking, except it was done at his usual pace so he looked like a zombie chasing someone. It would have been funny if he didn't look so miserable.

He soon joined them at the 'fruit bar'. Said fruit bar had now acquired a second table, and a fancier blender, which Suguha was most proud of. Kazuto too slouched in his chair.

"Bartender, give me your strongest drink."

"I have … pineapple," she said, handing her brother a glass. Kazuto drank it all in a single gulp.

"Delicious. Another."

"You still haven't paid me for the last time you were here."

"Put it on my tab."

"Kazutooo …" Suguha sighed. "Is he always like this?"

"He's your brother, you should know better."

A single tear rolled down his eye. "I bought it for the DLC! We were supposed to finish it together! But now, you're gone and I'm alone."

Sinon patted him on the shoulder. "There, there. We can get it fixed."

"Do you know how hard it is to find a forge hot enough to melt plasteel?!"

Suguha got the message. "Oh. This is your video game thing."

"You can always sharpen it and turn it into a knife."

Kazuto opened his mouth before closing, scrunching his face in thought. "You know, that's not a bad idea. Maybe you can even dual wield!"

"Oooh, that'd be rad! I would look so cool."

"You would look so cool, babe."

"Didn't you mention you were a sniper?" said Suguha. "Going into melee is kinda the opposite of that."

"Well, in my defense, I had been a cat for most of the DLC, and we've been traveling underground a lot. So you know how it is."

As Suguha found herself being a third wheel as the two nerds talked about player builds she had no hope of understanding, she picked up her empty glass and went to the counter. "Man, I need to play some more video games."


If you'd like to join the server, go to the earlier chapters and find the link there, or PM me. I'll TRY my best to post some writing regarding Merchant Prince there, if I can. Just mention me, it's cool.

See y'all in December.