…A Puzzle From The Past…
/Warning/: This chapter contains: cursing, fluff, softness, sadness, (Be Warn! The last part of the chapter contains) violence, homophobic slur, and assault, mention of character death, and Loki really needs therapy! All reviews are appreciated.
P.S: This is a canon-divergent story that takes place in the MCU timeline, there are subtle changes, such as the events of Thor (The first movie) Take place in the twenties; also there is no Bucky Barnes in this story, his character is just one big secret identity that boarded major identity issues; meaning, Loki is Bucky Barnes in this fic. I hope you enjoy ^-^v
"Character talking"
"Character thinking"
…Flashbacks…
Chapter 2
He didn't mean to fall in love with Steve… it just happened…
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The years passed in a blink of an eye to the Asgardians and the other realms; for Loki and the mortals' world he lived in, the years passed as slow as a snail and as fast as a blink, but if there was something that Loki agreed on, it was that he couldn't get enough of his time on Midgard. Loki continued to live in this realm, finally accepting it as a home he came to love; a place that was far more acceptant of him than his home in Asgard ever was… all thanks to Steve and his mother…
Loki was sixteen Midgardian years old by this time, living happily in Midgard with Steve as his best friend (What would be called Shield brother, if he was back home in Asgard) and Sarah Rogers, who for Loki was a mother to him even more than Frigga if Loki thought about it… a line of thinking that Loki doesn't dare to bonder on in the fear of forcing his mind to remember the things he decided to leave behind in the past…
Loki was sixteen… a man in his own right, but for others (Especially Midgardians) he was still a child that needed to be guided and protected… he was sixteen years, again, which strangely enough equaled the eight centuries he lived once upon a time on Asgard… thinking about it… Loki realized it was the same age he used to be when Odin banished him from Asgard… a thought that soured Loki's entire mood as he woke up on his sixteenth birthday… Loki was sixteen… and he couldn't help but smile a little at the thought of continuing a new life for him with Steve and his mother from this day forward…
The years passed, and Loki was still living with the Barnes family; but this time, the Barnes family stopped caring about him that much after they had their daughter, preferring to give all of their attention and love to their biological daughter (The golden child of the family) as they let Loki be, not even sparing him as much as a glance when he spent days away from home or took money from under their noses. The years passed, and Loki once again found himself a brother, but this time, he was not the youngest brother of Thor the future king of Asgard; instead, Loki was James Barnes, Rebecca Barnes's big brother who if albeit a little distant, was dotting and loving toward his sister… a girl who was all sunshine and rainbow, who against her father's harsh gaze and her mother's poisonous and conditioning words; she still loved Loki and wanted to spend all of her free time with him. Always looking at Loki with big eyes and a happy smile when she saw him, offering him hugs and kisses as she babbled like a three years old could; despite hating the Barnes family, Loki could never hate or blame Rebecca for being born to a such insane couple, not when she was the only one besides the Rogers family who truly love and accept him as who he was… the years passed, and Loki never once prayed for Heimdall to open the Bifrost for him, not since he told Steve who he was, having finally accepted that he was never a son for Odin, no matter how much he wished for it. Loki had made a peace with himself, accepting his new life as a mortal, and continued to live it to the fullest as the days passed and he woke up every day to the sight of his little sister sleeping peacefully in his bed, after waking up in the middle of the night because of some nightmare…
The years passed, and Loki became Bucky Barnes…
On his sixteen birthdays (Or more accurate on James Barnes's sixteen birthday, because Loki turned sixteen a few months ago), the Barnes family had made a huge celebration out of the whole ordeal; it seemed that even if the Barnes wanted Loki to somehow disappear out of the face of the earth, their obsession with their deceased son was too strong for them to let Loki spent his day in peace. On the day of what was supposed to be his sixteen birthday; the Barnes family throw a ball and invited all Brooklyn and Manhattan elites to it, forcing Loki to paste the fakest smile he can master on his face as he attended the ball. Being forced against his will to impress the strangers that looked at Loki like he was a piece of meat; Loki turned sixteen in the eyes of the Barnes family and the elites of Manhattan, that fact opened many doors to many people who wanted to get closer to the Barnes family, and instead of spending his day with the Rogers family as he planned. Loki spent his day shaking the hand of every rich man in New York, making small talk and showing off how smart and reliable he was; a genius of his own time! Or as Mr. Barnes tried to boast every time someone asked and became impressed with his achievements that no sixteen years should manage. Instead of going with Steve around Brooklyn causing mischief and laughing the day away as they went on another adventure; Loki was forced to kiss hands and give a happy smile to the housewives as they looked at him up and down like he was a piece of meat they wanted to sample. A fact that caused Loki to nearly become sick at the thought of what those women were thinking of, as he tried to force himself to continue on and ignore how Mrs. Barnes continued to throw girls left and right at him, hoping that one of them would catch his fancy enough that he would take her out… needless to say, that was the worse say that Loki was forced to live through…
It all made it that much sweeter when the next day, he was pulled into a warm hug by Mrs. Rogers as she invited him inside the Rogers family apartment, guiding him to the kitchen where Steve was waiting for him with an apple pie and his birthday gifts near them…
The years passed, and Loki lived happily on Midgard, spending his days with Steve and Rebecca, to who Steve took a shine, and in return, he got the little girl's unconditioned love as she like Loki, felt more at home in the Rogers family household than Barnes's cold one. The years passed, and Loki still caused mischief, keeping the bullies population of Brooklyn on their toes as he and Steve went against them, kicking their hides and saving everyone who needed to be saved, causing people old and young to talk about them with a smile on their faces, as they called the two of them 'Heroes' if albeit troublemakers… a titled that was never associated with Loki in his past life in Asgard, but one he came to accept when he saw his little sister (Even if she wasn't his real sister) look at him with so much awe and amazement as she called him her hero…
The years passed, and day after day, Loki started to respond to being Bucky, more than to being Loki, going as far as forgetting what it was like to be Loki (Or that his real name was Loki) only to be reminded of who he was by Steve, who only called him Loki when he had something of the utmost importance to tell him (Or when he saw Loki get so lost in himself hat he needed someone to guide him, which was strange how Steve seemed to know when Loki, truly needed him), and maybe that was the main reason that Loki started telling Steve everything he knew about Asgard and the nine realms, hoping that his friend would remind him of who he was when he forgets (Because believe it or not, even if Loki loved being Bucky and accepted to be him, he was afraid… so afraid of forgetting who was truly under the mask of Bucky Barnes) a job that Steve took seriously even when Loki joked about it from time to time and told him not to sweat it… the years passed…
And Loki realized one day that he was in love with his best friend…
Loki doesn't know when he realized it (That was definitely a lie, he knew when) but the realization was one that stunned him into silence as he didn't know what to do; Loki had never meant to fall in love with his best friend, not because his friend wasn't amazing, he was! He was beautiful, amazing, understanding, empathic, and had a huge heart and the spirit of a warrior that can surpass Borr the creator God, and father of Odin… Loki can go on and on, but even he knew he had to stop himself from waxing poetry every time he looked at Steve… the truth was, Loki didn't know how to act after he realized his feeling for his best friend, he didn't know what to do; part of him was so, so afraid that he would spend his nights staring at the ceiling, confused and ashamed for having tainted his pure feeling of friendship and love for Steven with something as chaotic and demanding as romantic love… in a realm where loving someone of the same gender is considered a crime that would be punished by death; Loki's resolve of never telling his friend about his feeling or even imply it only strengthen, because even if their friendship was turned from the pure love of friendship and brotherhood to a romantic love on his side, Loki's resolve of protecting Steve and insuring his happiness only increased as the time passed, be it if he was Bucky Barnes, or if he was Loki the God of Mischief and Chaos.
Want it or not, this Loki (Bucky, he was Bucky and Bucky was him… but he was mostly Bucky these days because being Bucky is the only happiness Loki had after being thrown away from his home) was less selfish and self-center, and more compassionate and understanding; all thanks to Sarah Rogers and her son, who pulled Loki out of his dark place and refused for him to bury himself in his darkness and hate while everyone else around him had given up on him.
Loki didn't know when he realized he was in love with Steve, but he knew it must have happened on one of 'Steve&Loki' days… no matter how much Loki tried to wrap his mind around it, he never understood why Steve wanted Loki to have a day to be… well, Loki… and not Bucky all the time. No matter how much Loki told Steve that he loved being Bucky and wanted to be Bucky all the time; Steve still found it important for Loki to have a day every now and then to be Loki the prince of Asgard, instead of Bucky Barnes… such a strange person Steve was, for encouraging Loki to be what he decided to give up and forget by wanting to be Steve's Bucky; but Loki knew how much Steve was acceptant and kind for not wanting Loki to forget who he used to be, even if he hated being Loki as more years passed… Loki knew that any other person would have thought that Loki was insane and they would have likely thrown him into the loony pin if they knew a sliver of the tales Loki had told Steve.
It all started on Steve&Loki day when Steve all but dragged him ice skating.
At that time, it was 1933, and the Great Depression was hitting everyone hard as it reached its peak; doing nothing but increasing people's fear as they went to live their lives, day in and day out, being afraid of what tomorrow was holding for them. Not so surprisingly, Loki and the Barnes family weren't all that affected by the Great Depression, even with all the rationing that was going around and the increase in the crime rate, and what people called the worse years of the depression later on; the Barnes family continued to live the life of luxury and riches, uncaring of what was taking place in the real world, that didn't involve one of their parties or businesses. At that time, Loki desperately tried to do everything he can to help the Rogers family, even when he only got his ear pulled by Mrs. Rogers, or having Steve giving him a raise eyebrow before the stepping on his toes in retaliation as they refused the money again and again, telling him repeatedly that he was being stupid and waste his money when he should save it; if Loki learned something in those years, he learned that the Rogers's pride and stubbornness was greater than the Great Depression itself and that not even a literal God would change a Rogers's mind when they decided to do something… the only consolation that Loki had was the Rogers family accepting the food he brought (Not really because Loki had to shoulder his way inside with the ingredients and later cooked in their home which took the choice out of their hands; if Loki had to thank the stupid orphanage for something, then he would thank them for teaching him how to cook and clean) but the would only eat if he ate with them, which would later get him another ear pull from Mrs. Rogers who knew his plan all alone, but was grateful for all the trouble Loki went through for them… especially, for Steve, who even when the two of them tried to fool themselves, they knew that Steve wouldn't have survived the Depression if it wasn't for the meals and medicine both of them provided.
It was on Steve&Loki day that he realized the truth; that day Steve had told him nothing other than he had to come with him and bring his coat and scarf, and at that time, as much as Loki thought it was strange, he didn't put a fuss about the strange request as he followed his friend. The both of them joked around as they walked through New York Streets, both of them discussing their plans for the next days, Loki was talking about how his plan of escaping the Barnes household until the end of Christmas (Which if he stayed would only mean he had to attend the Christmas ball, and be forced to mingle with the elites again, as the men smack his back as they talked with him like he was an old friend, even when they want to stab him in the back, and the women throw their daughters at him, and if that didn't work then they would try to subtly feel him and propose to him) for Loki who used to love celebrating Yule every year on Asgard because it was the month of his birth, Christmas was like a smack in the face from how different it was from Yule; to tell the truth, Loki had loved celebrating Christmas with the Rogers family, because unlike the Barnes family, their Christmas was more homey and lovely, even when they did nothing but go to the church in the morning and later go home to have dinner and then gifts.
"You know, you could always come to stay with us instead of holing yourself in your room and hiding under the bed every time someone knocked on the door." Steve had teased him at that time, which made Loki stick his tongue out in mock annoyance, and caused his friend to let out a laugh at the childish display, pushing Loki with his bony shoulder in retaliation. "Here we are!" Steve had called out, causing Loki to raise his eyebrow at the sight in front of him.
"What is this?" Loki asked, getting a raised eyebrow from his friend before a devilish smile crossed over his face, something that caused a shiver to run down Loki's spine; against everyone's belief, the most troublemaker out of the two of them was Steve, who with his frail and innocent look and his goody two shoes nature, everyone believed he was the innocent, and that Loki was the cause of every problem or a brawl that broke out with the bullies in Brooklyn; if only they knew that 95% of the time was the innocent bystander who had to run after Steve and stop him from getting bunched in the face… and want it or not, all of their fights started with the devilish smile that Steve was sporting.
"Oh? So you have never gone ice skating, Loki?" Steve asked with innocent dripping off his voice, and Loki had to shiver at the dark look in his friend's eyes… if Loki didn't know any better he would have thought that Steve was the God of Mischief instead of him… but on another thought, Loki didn't know if his shiver was related to how Steve said his name, or what he implied.
"Of course I did!" Loki tried to defend because he certainly knew something about ice skating and back in Asgard he did go with Thor and the warrior to ice skate... it just… it only ended with Loki being pushed around by Sif and the Warriors Three, and falling on his face into the ice… needless to say, Loki was never found of ice skating and he stopped going with Thor after the third time.
"It's OK, Loki, you can hold my hand." Steve had teased, all but dragging Loki who was scowling, through the gate of what the sign declared as 'The Rockefeller Ice Rink' at that time, Loki didn't ask Steve from where he got the money two of them used in the rink that day, his resolve was mainly to show Steve that he can manage to beat him in ice skating and show him that no one messed with Loki. I mean, how hard can ice skating be? Loki was a warrior and a magician, he had an unlimited balance and spent centuries ever since he reached what was equal to six years old, training to become the best; balancing on some shoes that have a knife as the bottom couldn't be that tough, it is all about balance, how hard can that be?
Loki knew he was at least better than Steve, who had never set a foot inside an ice rink or an icy lake to skate before… at least that's what Loki tried to convince himself as he fell on his ass for the fourth time. Loki can only gaze at the sky with a pout dominating his features as he laid (Against his will) on his back after his last fall; the giggles from the females all around him caused his lips to twitch down in a harsh scowl as he heard them mutter 'How cute!' causing Loki to grumble something under his breath as he cursed at them. The only consolation Loki was feeling, was him not being laughed at by Steve, who was doing laps around him, smiling softly as his eyes fell on Loki who was laying in the cold and freezing his ass off. "I call bullshit on this being your first time here!" Loki called out loud, hoping that Steve would hear him, and the teen did listen to him, as he laughed and once again tried to help Loki up.
"It's all about balance; it's not my fault that you suck!" Steve grinned, and took hold of Loki's hand, trying to help him up, but Loki being petty; didn't move to help himself up, he just continued to lay down and gaze at Steve who was trying to help him, and trying to ignore the giggling annoyance who continued to gaze at them not that far away. "A little help, please?" Steve called out, his words gaining a shrug from Loki who after a few tugs and nearly tripping people who weren't paying attention managed to stand up on shaky legs, spreading his arms around as he tried to stay balanced.
"I give up, let's leave. I am done falling on my ass to amuse the ladies!" Loki called out loud, hoping those annoying females that continued to follow them and giggle their heads off would take the note and scram away from him; his words, though, only got him squeals and more giggles from the females and Steve rolled his eyes. "You would think being a Jotunn would give you the ability to brave the ice…" Loki mumbled to himself, gaining a soft laugh from Steve who looked around them before giving Loki a mischievous smile. "Oh, don't you dare-" Whatever Loki was planning on saying next went unheard as Steve took his right hand and start skating as fast as he can as he pulled Loki with him; Loki, for all of his restrain and strength he liked to boast about, he couldn't help but let out a loud manly shriek that caused everyone to still in their place and look at them with annoyance, while some with amusement and some even confusion. "I am going to die!" Loki shrieked, his words doing nothing but causing Steve to laugh heartily as he continued to pull Loki with him and dodge people, ignoring Loki's attempt to free himself… it was on the third lap that Loki realized… he was skating beside Steve and not being dragged around, a fact that caused him to lose his footing and fall on his back (Thankfully) bringing Steve with him.
It was a few seconds of stunned silence before Loki started laughing, losing himself as he tried to sit, this time being thankful for his hand for not sliding and forcing him down on his back once more; from the corner of his eye he saw Steve laughing with him, the joy was clear on his face as he looked radiant and glowing as the sun feels on him, taking Loki's breath with him. "Happy sixteenth birthday, Loki!" Steve beamed happily, causing Loki to blink in surprise and for the realization that it was indeed his birthday, the day before the start of Yule…
No one had really celebrated his birthday other than Frigga (Who as the years passed by kept forgetting) and sometimes Thor if he remembered, Loki had always chalked it up to being so close to Yule that most people would forget about it in their hast to prepare for Yule. At that time, Loki tried not to care about his family forgetting his birthday, thinking that celebrating Yule with them was enough; Loki was a big boy, so he knew he shouldn't cry and throw tantrums; he didn't even snap at his parents and make a fuss for how they always forget his birthdays but always remembered Thor's, never Loki's… to hear someone remembering him on his birthday (His real birthday and not James Barnes's birthday) was enough to bring tears to his eyes.
It was later that evening, when both Steve and Loki were at the Rogers's family apartment, eating dinner as Mrs. Rogers told them all about the interesting things she witness during her shift; it was later that evening when Mrs. Rogers brought Loki's favorite 'Honey Cakes' (Something that only Steve knew about, and later Sarah), and not the pie he usually gets on Bucky Barnes's birthday, that it all sank that they were really celebrating Loki's birthday… Loki's! Not James Barnes, not Bucky, but Loki's! it was when he raised his eyes that were filled with tears (Tears that he desperately tried to hold into) that he met Steve's eyes that were filled with joy… a look that made Loki's breath stutter and for his heart to pound loudly in his chest as the realization struck him, 'Oh' Loki could only let out as his jaw fell and his eyes widen…
That day, Loki realized… he was in love…
The first day Loki felt true terror and dread (The true fear that drowns someone in the abyss of darkness, itching itself to the flesh and bones as it filled the lungs until no breath can be taken; filling the mind with terror so strong that someone would spend the rest of their life looking behind them as they feared what was hidden in the dark), was when winter was ending, and the spring was making its way. At that time, Loki was so happy and content with his life, so happy to finally love and feel love in return, be it siblings love, friendship love, or parental love; Loki had got it all, and he was so, so happy. It was true that Loki didn't dare to tell Steve about his true feelings at that time, agreeing to keep the matter close to him so as to not put unwanted expectations on his best friend; content to live the rest of his life with Steve by his side in any form he can get.
It was like any normal day, calm and enjoyable as Loki made his way to the Rogers household; a mischievous smile on his face as he once more felt the chocolate bar hidden in his shirt (In a time of rations, where prices skyrocket, normal folks like the Rogers family and many other people had to sit their priorities straight and use their money wisely, and chocolate was definitely not a priority to a lot of people who thinks soap and essential are more important than useless treats) knowing that he would be sharing the treat with Steve and Mrs. Rogers, no doubt getting an ear-pull for wasting his money, but after that, he knew the three of them would sit happily, munching on their treat as they drank their tea (A gift that Loki brought a few months back which resulted in a flicker to the forehead from Mrs. Rogers who gave him an hour-long lecture about saving money) as they listened to the radio going on and on about the latest ball game or crooning a song in the background.
It was a normal day that Loki looked forward to… until he saw a crowd shouting and forming a circle around something. Thinking the worse (That Steve got into another fight that he couldn't escape from) Loki rushed toward the crowd, looking around and even jumping a little to see what was going on, pushing a few away until he finally reached the source of the commotion; stilling in his place in confusion as he saw someone being kicked and smacked around as they curled around themselves (Thankfully not Steve) looking so tiny as they tried to protect their head.
"What's going on?" Loki couldn't help asking the young standing beside him, gazing at the boy with resignation look on his face, and acceptance with so much pain and sadness... but still the young man was not making any move to help the boy (Because really the man on the ground looked like a boy, no older than eighteen as he shivered and tried to escape only to be stopped by the people around him who pushed him back toward his assaulter) if Loki could, he would have punched his way through and helped the boy escape, but even he knew that he was outnumbered and doing something this stupid would mean harsh consequences.
"What does it look like lad, or what? We are teachin' dat trash what perverts deserve!" Snapped someone, not the man standing still beside Loki, but one of the boy's assaulters; it was only then that Loki paid attention to what the crowds were shouting, 'Queer', 'Pervert', 'Trash', 'Fairy', and so many slurs that Loki felt his head spin and his eyes widened. The crowd jeered and laughed at the scream of pain the boy let out when someone broke his leg using a metal pipe; as much as Loki wanted to move and run out of there, his legs were rooting into the ground and his eyes were wide, as he looked at the boy with chestnut hair and sky blue eyes… eyes that were so terrified as they looked at Loki… (No not Loki, the man beside him; but that was a knowledge Loki wouldn't retain until years and years passed, as he shouldered the guilt of that day for not being able to help).
Living in this realm, Loki knew how backward and narrow-minded the mortals were, not accepting that loving someone and having a genuine feeling for someone no matter what the gender was, didn't mean you are sick in the head and that you deserve punishment. Living in this realm, Loki knew it was not like living in Asgard, where love was love, and all forms of love were accepted and welcomed, because loving someone of the same gender didn't make you less… living in this realm Loki knew that they punish such actions such as pure love harshly… but knowing wasn't the same as seeing…
Loki's breath ceased, and he didn't even know how he stayed conscious without breathing for so long, his legs refusing to move as his eyes kept locked in their gaze with the boy with the sky blue eyes; afraid of breaking eye contact for some unknown reason as he gazed at the boy. Wondering helplessly where were the police who supposed to have come here a long time ago to break the fight and take the boy away (Either to throw him in prison or the loony pin, but either way, it is better than here, where he was a few steps away from death) or if they were in on this and allowed this madness to take place.
The leader (Or what looked like a leader) raised the metal pipe, planning to give the finishing blow to the boy's head, and every muscle in Loki's body tensed as if he was prepared to spring toward the man and tackle him to the ground, hoping desperately to save the boy even if it meant he would be labeled as a queer by everyone as they seek his blood later on (And that more than ever told him how strong Steve's influence on him was because he knew if Steve was here, he would have never allowed something like this to happen, even if it meant his death). It was only the interference of fate that the police finally arrived, snapping as they reached the bullies, shouting and screaming as they pulled everyone apart.
Not so surprisingly, the assaulters shook the whole ordeal with nothing but a word of warning and congratulation at the same time, while the boy was dragged and thrown into the police car to be convicted and thrown in prison for something he have no control over; something that in any other realm was accepted, even in Jotunheim.
That day, Loki never reached the Rogers family home, as he walked back to the Barnes house (More of a mansion really) in a daze, not knowing which way was up, and which way was down, only knowing that he needed to be left alone with his thoughts. That day Loki spent his day locked in his room, gazing at the ceiling with a dazed look, wondering to himself why he didn't move and help the boy who looked at him and begged for help while Loki ignored him… that day, Loki woke up screaming, shaking as he looked around the place, imagining those people coming after him with the bloody pipe to finish their job and go after Loki this time…
The next day, he passed the same place, gazing at the blood that stained the ground, wondering if it would have been better if he didn't stop yesterday to investigate the crowd… that day Loki ran to an alley to throw up his lunch, after he saw someone from the crowd yesterday boast to his friend, how the 'Fairy hanged himself in his prison cell last night!' forcing Loki to run back to the Barnes home, once again refusing to visit the Rogers family when he knew any second now he would go into a full-blown panic attack and cause the Rogers family great concern.
Every day of the next week, Loki continued to wake up screaming in terror; his nightmares hunting him and causing him to cower under his sheets like he was nothing but a five years old child, afraid that the dark contained a monster that would come and pull him into the abyss. The dreams morphed of Loki standing frozen in his place as he saw the finishing blow come and kill the boy with the sky blue eyes, into the crowd turning on Loki and chasing him, as their new target; but the nightmares that woke Loki screaming and made tears run down his face were the dreams of Steve swapping places with the boy with the sky blue eyes, gazing at Loki with pain and tears in his eyes as the finishing blow was handed, cracking his head on the pavement, causing blood to spill and for the realization of Loki losing his sanity and the person he loved to take over him.
If Loki refused to tell Steve about his feeling before to protect him; now, he was terrified to tell him or even open his mouth about what was going on. The thought of Steve's warm gaze disappearing and being replaced with a look full of disgust and caution (But never violence, because Steve above all abhor bullying someone, even those who were 'Unnatural' as everyone else liked to call them), was enough to summon a whine from Loki's throat; but in the insane off-chance that Steve turned out to be like him or even returning his feelings if Loki had dared to tell him (Because Loki knew, if he didn't witness what he witness a week ago, the chance of him admitting his feelings to Steve were high) then Loki was terrified by the mere thought of someone realizing what they were and attacking them… or worse, hurt Steve! Loki knew that being the Barnes heir gave him many advantages even if a word about him being a queer got out, but Steve… Steve didn't have that advantage, he couldn't protect himself against the angry crowd that would be after his blood; he was so frail, so breakable, and 90% of the time he was sick with something he couldn't shake that would leave him in bed fighting infection.
The thought of something happening to Steve broke Loki to pieces… Loki knew, he knew that some people suspected them already for always spending their time together, never being seen with a female as they walked around Brooklyn causing mischief; he knew that whispers were surrounding them but people mostly shrugged it for several reasons… one of it being because of Bucky being a Barnes who expected to marry a woman and continue the Barnes bloodline, and another because everyone around Steve's neighborhood knew about Sarah and how much of a saint she was; everyone knew how much she lost and they didn't want to add more insult by causing her to lose her son.
Loki spent his days in daze and fear, not knowing what to do and how to act, his actions around Steve were more stifled and robotic, as he tried to distance himself slowly; not wanting people to suspect them even more and judge them harshly to the extent that they would form a crowd and try to drive Steve and his mother out of their apartment or going as far as to kill Steve if they saw him alone…
Loki spent so many sleepless nights cursing this realm and how backward it was that loving someone of the same gender was considered a great crime; cursing how they made everything their business when it was never their business in the first place what anatomy part did someone, have down below, and how they decided to use it… Loki spent many days paying attention to people, only to bristle and later froze in fear when one day he saw someone from Steve's apartment complex looking at them with a frown as he whispered to his friend…
Enough was enough, Loki knew, his fight and flight instincts all-time high as he tried desperately to think of some way to throw the suspicion away from him and Steve… it was only when a girl came to ask him out shyly that a plan formed inside Loki's mind; that day was the first day he brought Steve with him on their first double date with girl and her cousin; pasting a charming smile on his face as they went on their date… and to his relief and happiness, the whispers and pointing did stop to some extend, and people actually started smiling and joke with him and Steve every time he came to Steve's apartment building for drag him to another double date, instead of giving him the suffocating politness they always subjected Loki to… how did Loki not notice this before? He always thought to himself, terrified at the thought of what would happen if he continued being obvious to what was going around him. How long before they would have send someone to hurt Steve or his mother? A thought that made Loki shiver… knowing that, Loki forced himself to ignore the pained look on Steve's face every time they went on dates…
Even if it meant breaking his heart...
So what do you think?
Poor Loki, everything is so rough and scary… he really needs therapy.
And yes, Loki was sixteen when he was banished from Asgard… or what equals sixteen for them… meaning he was still a child who didn't know any better and was throwing a tantrum when he knew about his adoption.
As for Loki's birthday, according to Fandom, Loki's birthday falls on December 17, so I decided to roll with it.
As for when the Rockefeller ice rink was built; it was on March 1932.
Read and Review
And tell me what you think…
Nazaki-Sama
