The exams were closing in, yet Cloud's mind was more preoccupied with other matters. The matter at the front of his mind at this particular time however was the raven-haired man that was seated across from him in Zack's little kitchen.
As a good luck celebration Zack had invited both Angeal and Cloud over for dinner to wish Cloud good luck in the beginning of the exams the next day. The tall First had been unable to make it due to a last minute meeting for the First Class SOLDIERS who would have to make an appearance at the assembly preceding the exams.
Since they had gotten back from their little 'holiday' Cloud had been quite distant, something that Zack was still hoping would pass quickly, but over the last three or so days there had been little improvement, and Zack was getting concerned. He hated seeing the blond so far away, especially from him, and now that he had the blond alone for a while he was determined to either snap Cloud out of it or find the reason behind it.
Cloud listened as best as he could to the light hearted chatter that Zack offered up during the meal, and he tried to find the correct responses for what was expected in everyday conversation. His mind however, was occupied, as it had been for the last few days, on how he was going to proceed after the exams were over. He had no doubt that he would be able to pass the exams, in fact he knew he would have to hold back to avoid attracting to much attention considering the large body of people who would be studying the cadets' movement for people of interest.
After that Cloud knew that he would have to make his move on Hojo if he was ever going to escape the issue of the mako treatments, something that he by no means wanted to go through considering how his body usually reacted to large amounts of mako. If he could have he would have taken Hojo out before the exams, but getting to Shinra's head scientist while in the position of cadet would be next to impossible without causing severe consequences, so he hoped that by passing the exams and entering the bracket where it was expected to have regular dealings with the man, he would be able to kill the man and slip away without even the notice of the ever vigilant Turks.
"Hey, Spike." Zack said, bringing Cloud back to the present once again, "You know this is your celebration right? So relax and have some fun!"
"Yeah..." Cloud replied half-heartedly, bringing his full attention to Zack. The raven-haired man had a serious look to his eyes despite his light tone, and Cloud knew then that he was wasn't going to get away without talking.
"Look, Spike..." Zack sighed, showing just how much Cloud's vagueness had gotten to him. "What's up? I thought you would be ok after we spoke on the way back from Nibelheim, but nothing has changed. It this still about the crash?"
Cloud was slightly surprised at first by the question of the crash, but he realised that he had been vague even when first explaining what had been on his mind when they had spoken, so now he could only blame himself for the questioning that was once more being pointed his way.
"No it's not that." Cloud replied honestly, "I've been trying to figure out how to go about things after the exams..."
"After the exams? Seriously, that's what you've been so quiet over?" Zack asked not expecting such a straight forward answer.
"It gets more complicated after the exams are over. When I pass, as you know, I will be expected to begin the mako treatments... Something that I have absolutely no inclination to do again."
"I guess, I suppose that it would also mess you up a bit since you already have mako in your body."
"Yeah," Cloud nodded, not bothering to go into the fine details, "I also need to figure out how I am going to make a move on Hojo."
Zack nodded, and thought on the subject for a moment before shrugging.
"I'm not to sure how you're going to do that one Spike, the man is well protected... But, tonight is suppose to be a good luck for tomorrow! So no more of this doom and gloom Mister! It's time to relax a bit and have some fun before tomorrow." Zack spoke sternly, his wide smile the only indication that he was faking the seriousness in his voice.
With a soft sigh, Cloud managed to push all his thoughts aside for the first time in days and give all his attention to the man sitting across from him, who was now eating quite happily given his obvious success.
Cloud had to wonder when the last time he had ever been so thoroughly wrapped around someone's little finger was... If there was ever a time...
The rest of the meal was spent with contented chatter as Zack was sure to milk every drop of conversation from the blond. Afterwards the two congregated towards the lounge where Zack turned on some comedic show that neither was really interested in; right now all either of them could think about was how little time they had truly spent together since the night in the hotel at Costa, and Zack was planning on making good on his promise to corner the blond once again.
Cloud wasn't overly sure how it happened but he soon found himself under attack from an over sized puppy that was interested in more than a simple scratch behind the ear. And who was Cloud to deny him that?
A light-hearted tackle match soon began between the two men, with both attempting to grab a hold of the other. This time it was Cloud who eventually won the match and managed to get a hold of Zack; admittedly, discovering the raven-haired man was ticklish did help his cause, and soon the two were locked in a heated kiss that only scratched the top of what they felt for each other in that moment.
Cloud gasped into the kiss when he felt Zack's hands sliding down his chest only to find the bottom of his shirt and pull upwards. The kiss was only disconnected for seconds as the shirt was quickly discarded. From there all Cloud could do was attempt to continue holding himself up as he hovered over the raven-haired man as Zack's hands softly explored his chest, stomach and back. With each old scar that Zack located with his fingers he would take the time to gently caress each one, something that Cloud found sent shivers down his spine.
Zack was loving the reactions he could coax from the blond and as his hands continued their exploration he worked to relay the love he felt for Cloud into each touch as their kiss continued, only breaking every once in a while to allow them both to breath.
Eventually Zack withdrew his hands, he knew that tonight was not the night to go further, so the two settled for simply resting together on the couch. They stayed that way for a little while, the room nearly silent with the exception of the television and their own now calm breathing.
"You know," Zack started softly, breaking the silence, "You never did tell me how you got all those scars..." Cloud was silent for a while before answering.
"I've been in many fights over the years, they are the results of that." The blond said eventually.
"But... you seem so young, yet you seem to have lived a full life already." Zack pointed out.
"For the most part my body was returned to the age it was when I first came to Shinra in this time... My mind is still as it was before I came back, and for reasons I'm not sure about my scars also came back with me..."
"That's a bit unfair..." Zack said, and Cloud could practically hear the pout in the raven-haired man's voice.
"Not really..." Cloud confessed, "Each one has meaning I guess; each was gained in a fight for victory, or in a fight that I was not strong enough to win."
"That's hard to imagine." Zack said, "I hard to picture you being unable to win..." Once again, Cloud was silent for a period of time before he spoke up again.
"I wish that were true..." Cloud said at last, "But if I could have done that, I would have been able to save all the people I lost..." I would have been able to save you... He added silently.
"You've said that before... Who did you lose?" Zack asked hesitantly, he knew that he was probably asking something that he would get no answer to but he felt compelled to ask anyway. There was an almost silent sound from Cloud that could have passed as a snort.
"At first I lost everyone I ever cared about, back when I was too weak to even protect myself... It was actually the experiments that Hojo did that eventually gave me strength... Yet it also destroyed me."
"Destroyed you?" Zack questioned softly, prompting Cloud to continue talking.
"For a long time... I lost who I was; I became someone else entirely, and I lived that way for a few years... It took another crisis to eventually bring me back, and even now I still struggle to remember everything I once was." This time it was Zack who was silent for a moment as he processed all that Cloud had told him; and as he pondered those soft spoken words, he felt an anger stir within his soul. He hated that there would be anyone who would hurt the blond that he now held close in his arms.
"Why are people like that?" Zack asked after a while... "Why are their always those who have to destroy all that is good and precious?"
"I wish I knew the answer to that Zack... But I don't." Cloud replied, his own thoughts going to when Zack had been gunned down by the very company that he had been devoted to, the very company that had condemned him to four years of torture, but had been unable to break him. His thoughts then turned to Sephiroth as he had been before JENOVA, it was not often that he pondered on the man that had threatened Gaia more than once, but he had to wonder if maybe Sephiroth could have continued to be a good man if that fated mission had never taken place...
"Its just not... right..." Zack mumbled into soft blond spikes.
"It is always like that; it is always the best people that have to be sacrificed in order for others to finally make a move and defend what needs defending..." Cloud said softly, remembering first Zack's death, and then Aerith's, along with countless others who had been so bright and full of life, and yet they had been forced to die early.
Silence once again fell over the two like a comforting blanket as the demons of their talk were chased away by the comfort of each other. Eventually Cloud looked to the clock and sighed when he saw that once again he was well past curfew and would have to sneak back into the dorms yet again...
There were a few soft kisses good bye and a hushed 'good luck' before the door closed and Cloud was moving back to the cadet dorms, hopefully for the last night.
XxXxX
The next morning came quickly and the cadet dorms were soon filled with the excited chatter of nervous cadets and the expected sighs and grumblings of instructors that had come to give last minute advice to their students before sending them to the test that would decide their futures. After today the recruits would be divided into the career that would make up the majority of their lives. Only the best would qualify for SOLDIER and those that failed would be assigned positions in either the infantry, foot mobiles, clerical, or maintenance sectors and their individual branches.
Cloud stood near the back, leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest, simply hoping that the day could just begin so that this mile stone in his mission could be passed... And yet he knew that there would be another hour or so before the cadets would be moved to the hall bordering the fields where they would be given speeches and such from the First Class SOLDIERS and a few Seconds to encourage the cadets to push through the gruelling day... Either that or scare them off.
"You know, you could act like you care about what is happening." Cloud didn't outwardly react to the familiar voice that came from the darkened hall that he stood by.
"Isn't it a bit risky to be sneaking in now of all times Vincent?" Cloud retorted easily. There was a soft huff from the gunman.
"There may be Turks around, but even they have nothing on my experience and skill." Vincent stated. Cloud knew that his friend was in no way boasting; he was simply stating a fact, as was normal for the stoic man.
"So where have you been the last few days?" Cloud asked, not concerned about being heard over
the din of the other cadets.
"Looking for answers." Vincent replied. Cloud had guessed as much.
"And?"
"Nothing I wasn't expecting."
Cloud nodded, once again not surprised by the answer; he had known Vincent for a long time now and the gunman's natural nature, his experience with the Turks, and his intelligence often meant that he was able to foresee many things before they happened, or he was able to figure out the reason behind something before anyone else.
"So, did you come to wish me good luck?" Cloud asked dryly, knowing that Vincent would have other reasons for being here on the exam day when the security was so tight.
"If the Darkness is going to make a move on you, it will be today during all the commotion." Vincent answered, understanding Cloud's intentions behind his words.
Cloud nodded, not needing to reply to give his thanks to his friend for watching his back once again...
"Yo, it's the blondie from the edge of the training field." The all to familiar voice of Reno cut through the noise like a knife through butter, effectively silencing any further conversation between himself and Vincent. Cloud looked up to see the red-headed Turk sauntering over in a way that only Reno could pull off. "You know, I had a feeling that you would make it to the exams."
Cloud simply raised an eyebrow in question, right now he wasn't interested in whatever Reno was after.
"Well you just had that look about you, y'know?" Reno elaborated as he took up a position against the wall next to Cloud.
Cloud made a mental note that the damn Turk seemed to gravitate towards him to annoy him naturally and not just as a life goal as he had thought in the future.
"Heh, don't feel like talking this time either?" Reno asked, nudging Cloud in the arm once with a coy grin. "Aww common yo! You're about the only person in this room who isn't all 'whoopde-do' over the exams."
"And?" Cloud asked, his voice void of emotion as he kept his eyes cast outward into the crowd of cadets.
"Security sucks yo! I need someone descent to talk to." Reno complained. "And I mean, come on, who the hell would sneak in today of all days?"
Typical Reno... Cloud thought, and he almost had to hold back a grin when he thought of Vincent who was most likely still within listening range. Cloud simply raised an eyebrow at the Turk again, he was careful to keep a blank mask up around this man.
"Have you ever thought about joining the Turks?" Reno asked out of the blue.
"Why would I?" Cloud retorted coldly, although he was at least relieved to find out exactly what it was that Reno was after.
"Well I can tell you that a few of the higher-ups have been watching your progress, and they are very interested in you yo! They think you could go real far."
Cloud was suddenly reminded of a conversation with Zack and Angeal on the training field only the night before he had met Reno, in the conversation Zack had claimed that they would make the Turks jealous when SOLDIER got Cloud. Looks like he was right... Cloud thought, amused by the situation.
"Not interested." Was all Cloud said aloud.
"Damn..." Reno muttered just as the call rang through the room for all cadets to move off to the training field hall. Cloud moved from the wall and went to follow when a firm hold on his arm prevented him from moving. He turned back slightly to look at Reno who had hold of him.
"You might want to be careful though blondie, the higher-ups don't always let people they want simply walk away... So just, keep an eye out yo." The red haired man said, his voice lower than usual until it picked up in volume on the last sentence. The normal jesting look about Reno's eyes was also absent for a moment before the Turk released him and turned and walked away as though nothing had happened.
Cloud watched him leave for a moment before turning and following the last few cadets out the door and towards the training field hall where Cloud knew he would have to face one of the few people that had caused so much pain in his life, yet was once one of the good guys... Even if that particular person had been socially inept and unable to understand emotion...
The training hall came into view all to quickly, and the process of lining up and entering also happened far to fast for Cloud as he was slowly but surely pushed towards one aspect of his past that he would rather run from than face. Thankfully Cloud was able to secure a spot at the very back corner, a place that would hopefully afford him some cover and leave him unnoticed. Hopefully.
The beginning of the meeting was just as Cloud's vague memories recalled; boring and full of the expected speeches regarding Shinra policy and the importance of every position within the company. Or in other words it was Shinra's way of saying that many of the cadets would fail in their quest to become a SOLDIER, but they were still expected to be happy with whatever demeaning position they were allowed.
About halfway through the last speech, movement from the side of the stage caught Cloud's attention and he looked over just in time to see the three 'legendary' First Class SOLDIERS enter onto the stage and move to three placed seats.
The first was the familiar figure of Angeal, the man walking onto the stage with dignity that spoke of respect and self-confidence. In that moment the tall First looked more the part of the imposing First Class SOLDIER with a reputation for a level head and fierce protection of others than any other time Cloud had seen him.
The second was a man with shoulder length red hair and angular, almost feminine features. Unlike Angeal who wore the traditional uniform for SOLDIER, Genesis Rhapsodos wore a long, red leather coat that was specially fitted and most likely would cost a fortune. The SOLDIER was famous for him incredible skill with materia and how he could easily manipulate its power to his liking. Other than that the First Class SOLDIER was popular among both male and females for his looks, and also for his love of the theatre 'LOVELESS'.
The third and final one to step out onto the stage was the one that had Cloud's blood running cold despite the lack of a current threat. Sephiroth walked out looking every bit Shinra's best. His hair fell perfectly around his shoulders, his leather coat being exactly the same as Cloud remembered. Sephiroth's eyes, now the normal glowing green that lengthy exposure to mako caused, lacked the cat like slit that Cloud had grown accustomed to as the man scanned the crowd with disinterest.
Cloud's hand had unconsciously come up to his stomach, just below his ribs, where the Masamune had first impaled him in the Nibelheim reactor, and it was only with conscious effort that Cloud returned the hand to its normal position by his side.
Cloud barely registered when the original speaker finished off his speech with a respective round of applause from the cadets. As had been the case for the last few years, his nerves screamed at the thought of Sephiroth, and his body wanted nothing more than to go on the attack.
When the luminescent green eyes of Sephiroth locked with his, Cloud's body froze. There was no emotion behind those eyes, but in that moment Cloud's mind was working pretty hard to replace the current calm image with the hate-filled images of the past.
Cloud very nearly jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder, but it thankfully allowed him to drag his eyes from the SOLDIER seated at the front. Looking to the side, Cloud found himself looking into the concerned eyes of Zack, who was silently asking him if he was ok. With his attention off of the silver haired man at the front, Cloud finally realised that Angeal was now giving his speech on 'protecting ones honour as SOLDIER', and that while his breathing was outwardly calm his heart had picked up in pace and his fists were clenched so tightly that he had broken the skin of his palms.
Knowing that now was not the time to draw attention to himself Cloud took strength from the firm hold that Zack had on his shoulder and with more effort then he would like to admit, Cloud forced himself to calm down and to stay in the present. When his heart rate calmed slightly he was able to unclench his fists and once again focus his attention to the front, but from then on he made it a priority to tune out all that was happening in front of him. Although he was unsure as to why Zack was there in the first place he was more than glad that the raven-haired man had shown up when he did, and to Cloud's relief, Zack stayed close by for the remainder of the meeting.
"...And that, cadets, finishes your last assembly as the runts of Shinra. It will be today that makes you the men you were meant to be. There will be a 30 minute prep period before each of you are expected to report to the appointed meeting place for the beginning of the exams. Dismissed!" As soon as the speaker said those last few words, Cloud found himself whisked away on a tide of excited cadets. Only once he was outside did the blond manage to escape the rushing horde of over excited teenagers. Within minutes Zack was there and was pulling him aside.
"Cloud, man, what the hell happened in there?" Zack asked bluntly once they were far enough away from any other ears. "You looked... on edge to put it mildly."
Cloud sighed but at first didn't reply.
"Look Spikey," Zack continued, "When I got a message from Angeal saying that you looked like you needed help, I wasn't sure what to think... So I just came straight here. Just look at your hands-" Here Zack grabbed one of Cloud's hands and lifted it to see the now half healed nail marks, "-You were tense enough to put a damn brick wall to shame... What happened man?"
"Sephiroth." Cloud said, giving in to the seriousness in Zack's voice.
"Sephiroth?" Zack repeated confused. "What does he have to do with anything?"
"A lot... In the future..." Cloud answered, in that moment he felt more mentally drained than he had in a long time and he was simply ready to pile it onto someone else for once, and in that moment he knew he could trust Zack...
"What happens to Seph?" Zack asked, now slightly worried. It was hard to imagine the top SOLDIER being killed or anything.
"JENOVA, is what happens to him..." Cloud replied quietly, looking away from Zack's gaze, "He becomes probably Gaia's biggest enemy..."
"No... Not Seph. I mean, sure he isn't to good with emotion, or people for that matter, but he wouldn't try to hurt anyone."
"It was JENOVA... On the Nibelheim mission... It all went wrong at the reactor... Sephiroth went crazy... the JENOVA cells in his body reacted to the close proximity of the calamity herself... He destroyed the town... He hurt Tifa... He hurt... You..." Cloud explained, the pain obvious in his voice. "I thought I could handle seeing him like this, but the memories... They are hard to keep back..."
Zack was shocked into silence for a moment as he listened to Cloud's explanation. His mind fought to deny it, having seen Sephiroth in action and working with him a few times... Yet Cloud's body language; his reaction, all forced Zack to remember that Cloud had lived through this and he already knew that the blond hadn't told them everything yet.
"Ok... So maybe... maybe it can be stopped this time?" Zack questioned, simply trying to gain an order to his thoughts, while Cloud hadn't exactly made sense, he got the meaning behind it all, and it was not a positive meaning.
"I can only hope so..." Cloud replied. A warning siren called then, indicating that there was only five minutes left of the break. "I promise to explain everything later... But right now I just... I need your support Zack..." Cloud knew that he was asking a lot of the raven-haired man, hell he was asking a lot of himself to rely so completely on another like this. It was something that he hadn't allowed himself to do in many years.
Zack's confusion quickly melted away to be replaced with determination and understanding.
"Ok, while I don't understand exactly what happened, I know that I trust you... And I will always support you however I can." Zack said, a warm smile breaking out onto his face, "I swear it."
With a deep breath Cloud looked up to meet Zack's confident eyes and he allowed all the tension in his body to disappear in that moment.
"Thank you Zack. You have no idea how much that means to me..." Cloud said, before turning away to head to the meeting point for the beginning of the exams. Seeing Sephiroth had seriously shaken him, but right now he was calm and collected.
He was ready to face not just the past but the future...
Well another chapter! I hope everyone had a happy Christmas and New Year! Hehe enjoy :) Also, if any of the readers on here are fans of Kingdom Hearts, be on the look out for a new story under that category from me where our dear Cloud will play a large role with the gorgeous Leon! The first chapter should be out in a few days. :)
