"Hi Montgomery, I'm sorry I had to go get Lily," Kate starts the second her captain answers.

"I heard, how is she?" Montgomery asks with a small concern in his voice.

"She's sleeping right now so I hope the fever will go down soon," Kate says and she hears her captain hum. "Do you need me to come back in as soon as my dad can take over here?"

"No, don't worry about it, I sent Esposito and Ryan to pick up the guy who sent the letters," Montgomery says and Kate stirs the soup.

"Okay, well, keep me updated," she says and he says to let him know when she knows she's coming back.

As they hang up Kate receives a text message from her brothers.

"Bringing in suspect Kyle Cabot, you should see his apartment… he's obsessed with your guy." The text says and she scoffs at the mention of the writer as hers. He's not hers, not for a long time.

"Does he look good for it? And Mr. Castle is not my guy," she texts back, hoping they would stop saying that.

Why did she bring the books she had at home? She has a feeling she'll never live that one down.

"Yes, he's definitely something else. Talk later."

She puts away the phone and finishes the soup, turning down the heat so she dares leave it while she goes to check on her daughter. Sneaking into the bedroom she finds her daughter still sleeping and so she goes to feel her forehead, which is about the same temperature as before. Maybe a little bit better, but then again it's only been about twenty minutes since she checked the last time. She leans down and kisses her daughter's forehead, wishing she'd made other choices eight years ago. But at the same time she knows she wouldn't have. He was on his way to become famous and her mom had just died. She smothers a sigh as she looks at her girl. Behind those closed eyes she can see how they move and she wonders what she's dreaming about.

Kate jumps when the bell goes off from the door and she quickly sneaks out of the bedroom and makes sure the door is set ajar in case her daughter needs her. When there's rapid knocking on her door she quickens her steps, doesn't want Lily to wake up when she needs the rest. She doesn't care to look through the peephole in order to open the door quicker and stop whoever from continuing knocking on the door.

"Kate, you okay?"

Her eyes widen at the man standing in front of her.

"Ri-Castle?"

"Is it your dad? Is he okay? Are you okay?" he questions and she opens her mouth but nothing comes out, which only seems to worry him even more. "Are you hurt? Do you need something? If you don't have it home I can go get it for you," he continues to ramble on and Kate fears his talking will wake up her daughter and so her mother-instinct takes over the shock.

"Sch, be quiet," she hushes him with her hand up as she carefully listens to make sure her daughter isn't saying anything.

"Oh, sorry, is someone sleeping?" Castle whispers and she looks back to him.

"Uh-yeah, uhm," she's not sure what to say. What if he finds out? "I… You should go."

"What? Nuh-uh," he shakes his head. "You looked really worried when you drove off, and then everyone at the precinct told me they didn't think you'd come back for a few days."

"That doesn't mean you have the right to snoop around my home," she states and she feels her heart skip a beat when she hears a door creak.

"Mom?! I don't feel so good," Lily says as she comes into sight and Kate immediately takes off when she sees the girl's pale face.

She quickly gets a hold of a trashcan and holds it close as she walks to her girl.

"Do you feel like throwing up?" she asks and the girl holds onto her stomach. "Come on, let's see if we can get to the bathroom, peanut."

In the back she can hear his confused voice and it reminds her he's there.

"Mom? You're a mom?"

Kate tries not to think about it but leads her daughter into the bathroom just in time before the girl starts throwing up.

"Ew, mom," her daughter cries and Kate feels her heart ache.

"I know, sweetie, I know, just let it all out and it'll feel better," Kate whispers as she holds her hair with one hand and strokes her back soothingly with the other.

"Is there something I can do?" Castle asks from the door opening and Kate bites her lower lip.

"I-," she sighs, and gives in. "Can you heat up the soup again?"

"Of course," he says and is gone within seconds.

"Who-," Lily starts asking but is cut off by her throwing up some more.

"Later, baby," Kate mumbles and continues to say sweet nothings to sooth her girl as she continues to get everything out of her system.

Once she hasn't thrown up in a while Kate helps her up and to the sink where she starts brushing her teeth.

"How do you feel, peanut?" Kate asks and the girl spits in the sink.

"Better," Lily says and brushes a second time, probably trying to get rid of the taste.

"Do you think you could get down some soup?"

Her daughter gives her a look and she strokes her cheek.

"Just a little bit is enough," Kate states and the girl nods.

"I'll try." The girl sneaks into her arms and Kate hugs her, careful not to hug too tight in case Lily still feels queasy.

When they get out into the kitchen Kate sees the man she'd completely forgotten was there. Oh, fuck.

"Mom?" Lily asks and hides behind her leg as the writer looks towards them.

"It's alright, peanut," Kate says and takes a deep breath. "This is Mr. Castle, he's been helping me out on a case at work."

"Mr. Castle… as in..?" Lily asks and Kate was afraid she would connect the dots.

"Yes, the writer," Kate states and when she glances at him she can see his eyebrows go up in question. "Mr. Castle, this is my daughter, Lily," she says on an exhale.

Castle walks up to them and bends down to one of his knees. "It's nice to meet you Lily," he says as he stretches his hand out to the girl still sideways behind her.

As Lily shakes his hand and he has his eyes on her Kate takes advantage of the moment and observes him, seeing his confusion still there but also a calm that wasn't there before. He probably had time to think about it while she was helping her daughter in the bathroom. She really hopes he hasn't been trying to figure out her age yet though.

"Do you think you can eat some of the soup Ka-your mom has made for you?" Castle asks and Lily nods slowly. Kate can hear how hard he swallows when he said she was a mom.

She knows it's shocked him, she was never one to talk a lot about kids and especially not about having any anytime soon, and to have a daughter who's as old as… hopefully he hasn't figured that part out yet.

"Hey, why don't you go sit on the couch while I go get you some of that soup," Kate says and her daughter immediately walks to the couch, her eyes lingering a little towards the writer.

Kate tries to ignore the eyes following her as she walks towards the kitchen where he's been heating up the soup she made earlier. She feels him follow her, and she feels her hands trembling as she pours heated soup into a bowl.

"I-uh, do you need something else? I mean, is there something I can do before your-uh…" he starts saying and she looks at him when he doesn't finish his sentence. He doesn't look at her when he does. "...before your husband comes home?"

That has her stop in her movements and she stares at him with wide eyes.

"I'm not married," she quickly states and he looks surprised.

"Then, what about..?" he looks back to where Lily is and she bites her lip.

"He's not in her life," Kate responds quickly before she walks past him and back into the living area and towards the couch where her daughter is.

She hears his 'oh' behind her but he doesn't say anything else and she hopes he's letting it go. She hopes he isn't going to try and find out more. As soon as she sits down on the couch beside Lily the girl's cuddling into her with the covers around her.

"Here, it's gram's soup," Kate hands the soup to Lily who takes it immediately and takes a careful first bite.

"Oooh, I thought I recognized the scent," Castle states and Kate gives him a harsh, and scared, look.

Lily looks at him for a second before she looks at her mom with a confused expression.

"Did he… you said he's helping you out with a case?" she asks and Kate hates how quick Lily's always been with connecting small things to the big picture.

"He is," Kate says quickly and gestures to the soup. "How's the taste? Do you think you can hold it down?"

The girl looks between her and the writer before she lets it go and carefully takes another bite. She chews carefully and Kate can see she's trying to make sure she can swallow it without throwing up.

"Mhmmm, I think so, it tastes better than the taste in my mouth a couple minutes ago," Lily decides and Kate feels a bit relieved she's not asking more questions so far.

"That's good," she mumbles and kisses her daughter's head.

Behind them she hears the writer clear his throat and she looks towards him.

"I should probably go, text me if you need anything," he says and she feels her heart skip a beat, especially seeing how much he means it in those blue eyes.

"Thanks, Castle," she says, doesn't even realize she didn't use the title to distance herself from him.

As he walks towards the door he says that one word that makes both of them freeze. "Always." She feels her whole body stay still as her heart thumps like crazy. It takes her a second before she turns her head to look at him, only to see he's also frozen in place, and she wonders if he'd said it without thinking. He probably did. Once he seems to start moving again she can see he's glancing back at her before he quickly gets out of there.

Always.

That had been their word. Something she had started with saying how she would always be a one writer girl even though he hadn't been published yet. And he'd said he would always be by her side, no matter what. He had tried to, but she had pushed him away, long before she found out about Lily growing in her belly.

Always.

She hadn't realized how much she missed hearing that one word until now. Lily squirms a bit and cuddles closer.

"I'm tired," she mumbles and so Kate takes the bowl and puts it on the coffee table before she puts her arms around her little girl.

"Go to sleep, peanut," she says and kisses her head. "I'll carry you into bed in a bit."

Lily hums and it doesn't take long before she's breathing deeply again, snoozing against her side. Kate takes a few deep breaths in her daughter's hair and thinks back to that first time when she breathed in her baby scent. She remembers she had almost turned around and expected him to be there, wanting to tell him to put his nose on the baby's head and breathe in the scent with her. But he hadn't been there, and she couldn't call him either. What would she have said? Hey, come and meet the baby you're the father of but I didn't tell you about. No, that would've never turned out right. She should've told him from the start.


A/N: Hey guys! So, first of, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I think when I wrote this chapter I was thinking something like "now it's started for real". Anyway, I'm right now starting writing chapter 13 however my vacation has come to an end so I'll really do my best at keep writing and finish this without you guys going through a whole week without update. But in order to do that I might also need reminders every now and then to keep writing.

Anyway, thanks again for reading, until next time, xxxx