Lily seems more nervous than Kate has ever seen her. The girl has already changed her clothes twice and is fiddling with the dress she's wearing right now. Kate's trying not to butt in, she's trying to focus on the food she's making but when Lily's stating she needs to change again she can't keep quiet anymore.
"Lil, he isn't going to care what clothes you're in," she says and looks to her daughter whose hazel eyes are widened and filled with a new kind of fear Kate hasn't seen before. "Wha-what's wrong, peanut?"
Kate lets go of the cucumber she was cutting for the tacos she was making and walks up to her daughter, crouches down to meet her eyes at a better level.
Her daughter looks at her with what looks like watery eyes. "Mom, what if…" she voices but looks down, biting her lower lip just like her mom does every so often.
"What if what, sweetie?" Kate reaches out to start fiddling with her daughter's brown hair.
The answer comes in a low whisper, barely loud enough for Kate to hear. "He doesn't like me?"
Kate feels shock fill her veins and then she starts shaking her head. "No, baby, no, he already likes you. He likes you just the way you are," she assures her as she's continuing to stroke her daughter's cheek and hair. "Need I remind you he's hung out with us before and told us both he had a great time."
"Yeah, but what if-," Lily starts again but doesn't finish the sentence.
"I know it's hard. I was afraid too," Kate admits and Lily gives her a questioning gaze.
"You? Afraid? Of what?"
Kate takes in a deep breath before she opens her mouth again. "Of him not forgiving me for not telling him sooner. I've also been afraid of you being angry with me."
"Me?" Lily says with surprise and Kate nods.
"Yes, you. Now, what would you want to wear tonight that makes you feel comfortable?" Kate asks and Lily thinks about it for a few seconds.
"My sweatpants and jumper."
Kate smiles and leans forward to kiss her daughter's forehead. "Then go change for one last time, and I'll go back to making dinner."
"Okay, mom," Lily says with a smile before she's running off to change into her favorite clothes.
Kate returns to cutting the cucumber before turning to the rest of the vegetables, thinking about the whole situation they're in. She never in a million scenarios had seen this one in front of her, where their daughter is so self conscious that she believes her father won't accept her the way she is. One part of her hopes they can erase that fear, because she knows Castle and she knows he would never dislike his own daughter. She remembers the talks they had when they used to lay in bed, her with a book and him with his storybook, and took pauses every now and then to talk about everything and nothing. One of those topics had been his own father, who he'd never known nor met. The first time she really got him to engage in the topic more than the simple "I don't know him", with a shrug, was when she asked if he was bothered by it. That was the first time he looked at her with confusion which turned into sincerity as he understood she was concerned about him.
"Well, not really. I mean, he could be anything I want him to be. Sometimes I imagine him being a soldier, sometimes an astronaut, oh and sometimes a spy with all the awesome gear."
When he'd said that she'd stopped worrying about him not knowing his father. Now that she thinks about it, that might've been why she never really thought the girl had any struggles not knowing her father, but perhaps it was different considering she herself actually knew the father when his mother hadn't.
Kate feels her body jerk when there's a knock at the door and she rolls her eyes at how easily she jumps at the sound when she makes the finishing touches to the food before leaving it behind her.
"Lily, you ready?!" Kate calls out and her daughter comes running from her room wearing her sweatpants and jumper.
"Ready!" she calls out as she's standing a few feet behind her mom.
Kate smiles and opens the door.
"Hi," Castle says with an exhale and she figures he's been holding his breath ever since he knocked.
"Hey," Kate says as she's moving to the side. "Come on in."
Castle steps in with careful steps with his eyes finding Lily and Kate closes the door as she observes the two of them as they carefully seem to see each other in a whole new light.
"Hi, Ca-dad?" Lily says experimentally and Kate sees his back tense before relaxing.
"Hi, Lily," Castle says and then it's like the young girl can't take it any longer because she's marching forward and hugging him tightly around his waist.
He's immediately reciprocating the hug and Kate feels her eyes water. She decides to give them some privacy and goes back to working on the dinner. She wants to give them some privacy, sure, they have met before but then they didn't know, none of them knew. As soon as the dinner is ready she brings all of it to the table before she turns back to the duo talking about her favorite book and how she's not allowed to read his books yet according to her mom.
"I agree with your mom though," Castle states and she feels a smile coming onto her lips. "My books aren't written for kids, though I could maybe create stories just for you if you want?"
"Yes please! Mom makes up stories all the time too, I love it," Lily exclaims and Kate feels her cheeks heat up as he looks up to notice her.
"Does she now?" he asks and she bites her lower lip.
"I'm not as good as you," she states and her daughter groans.
"Mom, you are good, you always tell the best stories," she argues and Kate shakes her head.
"When you hear Ca-your dad's stories you'll never want to hear mine again," she chuckles. "Anyway, dinner's ready."
"Ooh, yummy, what are we having?" Castle asks as he follows his daughter towards the dining table.
"It's tacos, my favorite," Lily states and sits down at her usual spot.
Kate sits down across her while Castle sits in between them at the corner of the table.
"Dig in," Kate says and her daughter doesn't need more before she starts picking out what she usually picks for this food.
"This looks delicious," Castle says and Kate looks up at him to see the glimpse in his eyes.
She smiles back at him with gratefulness before the two of them dig in. It feels weird, eating like this. All three of them. Never in her wildest imagination could she have imagined that they would sit here, eight years later, having dinner as if it was completely normal. Lily's the one who starts the conversation but that doesn't stop the two parents from continuing the topics as they eat.
"You were not helping at all," Kate laughs as Castle tries to explain how he was telling their teachers Kate was not involved in the latest of his pranks.
"Oh, I'd like to think I was, you didn't get as much detention as I did," he says with a chuckle and she raises her eyebrows with a small shake to her head.
"No, but that was because they knew I wasn't the mastermind behind your idea of getting a cow up onto the roof," Kate laughs and their daughter is listening to their every word.
"Dad?!" Lily gasps as she's looking at him with wide eyes, admiration a constant glimpse in her hazel eyes. "Did you really do that?"
"No, your mom talked me out of it, that's how they got onto us," he says and Kate bites her lower lip.
"Mom, were you going to help him?" Lily says with shock.
"No! I was talking him out of it," Kate once again has to defend her actions that day. "And don't you dare think to do anything like it," she adds when their daughter gets a smug look on her face.
"I won't," Lily just states and Castle grins at her.
"Don't worry, I have other stories in which your mom actually is involved too," he says and Kate slaps his arm before giving him her look.
"Mom!" Lily gasps and Kate looks at her with question. "It's not nice to hit people."
Kate realizes she did do that, hadn't thought about it since it felt as if…
"Sorry, you're right, peanut. It's not, sorry, Castle," Kate says with her eyes meeting his through her eyelashes. She can see he's not bothered at all, more than the emotion that the slap seems to have evoked in him.
"It's okay," Castle immediately says with a small smile playing on his lips.
Kate bites her lower lip and looks down at their plates. It's time to take away the dishes and so she stands up and starts to grab the empty plates.
"Let me help," Castle offers and Kate shakes her head.
"No, you're the guest," she says and Lily stands up too.
"I'll help, mom," she states and starts helping her.
Kate smiles at her daughter and they start to move the plates and glasses to the dishwasher. Castle raises and helps out as well. It doesn't take long before peanut is suggesting a movie and, just like she knew he would, Castle gets excited and asks which movie she has in mind.
"Hmmm," she hums as she pretends to think. "Jurassic Park!" she exclaims and Kate can't stop the grin entering her lips as she sees his eyes both widen in shock and fill up with such excitement and amazement it's quite overwhelming. Almost like old times.
"Wai-wha- you've seen Jurassic Park?!" he whisper-yells his shock and Kate chuckles as his eyes go from their daughter to her and back again.
"Of course I have! It's one of the bestest movies of all," Lily states matter-of-factly and Kate snickers.
"It's-ah, something you two have in common, peanut," Kate says and bites her lower lip as she feels both pairs of eyes on her.
It takes Lily another second before she turns to her newfound dad.
"You like Jurassic Park?" she asks and the writer looks at her with wide eyes.
"Like? No, I love it!" he states and the girl's lips turn up in a big smile too.
Kate observes as the two start to discuss which movie is their favorite and what character they like most, which they find funniest and which dinosaur scene is the greatest. She doesn't interrupt to ask if they should put the movie in already, she doesn't dare say a word, all of a sudden all fears are coming back again. Yes, she wanted the two to get along this whole time, but it frightens her how well they get along. What if the two decide they're better off without her? What if her pit of lies would be too much to them now that they know? Lily's big enough to voice those kinds of thoughts, to have those kinds of opinions. And Kate can't blame them. She should've told them the second she knew she had to take him into interrogation and therefore bring him back into her life, into her daughter's life. She should've told him eight years ago. But she'd been too afraid of her own feelings back then. Still are. She can't fight the way she feels the pull towards the writer now that he's here. But he'll never, ever, take her back after all those lies. And even if he did, she'd probably find another way to screw it up.
She observes them. How alike they are. Both in some of their features, but even more in the way they get so invested in movies. She's known those obsessive kinds of traits came from her father, but seeing them before her like this… it breaks her heart. She's kept them from each other, and all because of her own stupidity of a heart. Gosh, she wishes she'd made different choices.
A/N: Hey guys! So sorry for not publishing yesterday, I had dance rehearsals all weekend so I was there from early in the morning until late in the evening and now I'm exhausted. Caught a cold as well during Friday so had to call in sick today to make sure I get some needed rest. Anyway, I'm still working on chapter 14, so I'm not sure how this will work out now that I'm publishing chapter 11. Also, I got dance next weekend as well and the weekend 20th and 21st October is when we have dance shows so please be patient with me. I'll do my best but I cannot promise anything right now. I feel like I did a bad decision publishing this story so early on... but what's done is done and I'll do my best to finish it in time so you won't have to wait for too long.
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, until next time xxxx
