"So, what do you want to know?" she asks carefully as they sit on the couch with coffees in their hands.
"Everything," he states seriously before he seems to think deeper. "Why 'Lily'? What was her first word? Does she know how to bike? Yeah, everything."
She bites her lower lip. "Well, starting with her name," she starts and feels her cheeks blush. "I wanted something that would represent us in a way, and I-ah, I don't know if you even remember, but I remember the first time I felt down after we met you came over to cheer me up. I don't remember why I was down, but I do remember the smile you put on my lips the second you handed me a…"
"Bouquet of lilies," they say at the same time and Kate feels her cheeks get even hotter. They haven't done that in ages.
"So, Lily," he says and she nods.
"Yeah," she takes a sip of her coffee and he does the same. "As for her first word, it was mama, and yes, she knows how to ride a bike, though she doesn't do it that often. We usually bike at the cabin to get to that waterfall you found when you dragged me out to explore for the whole day."
"She's been at the waterfall?" he asks and she nods.
"Yeah, but she hasn't been to the secret spot," she tells him with a small hope and remembers when he'd woken her up one day only to drag her out to show her what he'd found while she'd been too tired to get up from bed.
"You mean..," he asks and she nods. "That's great!"
"Yeah, a part of me didn't want to show her unless you were involved," she tells him. "It's your spot."
He shakes his head. "It's not just my spot, it's ours."
"Riiick, why are you dragging me out here?" Kate says as she follows him.
"I wanna show you something," Rick says, hugging her hand tight.
"But we could've done that later, and when the hell did you even find something out here?"
"Oh, I woke up early," he says, shrugging his shoulders and she looks at him with shock.
"You? Mr I-can-sleep-till-four-o'clock-in-the-noon," she questions and he smirks.
"Well, I had to sneak out of your room anyway so your dad didn't realize I was in there, and I thought I'd seen something when we were out exploring the other day," he tells her and she stops in her tracks, their arms stretched till he has to stop too.
"You mean, the waterfall? Rick, that's so far away," she complains and he looks at her with a chuckle escaping his lips.
"You're tired? You?"
She knows he finds it adorable and funny since she's normally the one being too awake in the morning and he's the one who complains about getting up.
"Well, someone kept me awake," she accuses him and he smirks.
"Not my fault you can't resist me." He pulls her closer and claims her lips with his, which of course kinda proves the point when she just melts into him.
The kiss deepens when they both simultaneously open their mouths to let their tongues tangle. His free hand finds her hip and pulls her even closer, as if she wasn't already standing as close as she could to him. His hand moves towards her bottom and she gasps when he squeezes it.
"Rick," she breathes out and he chuckles as he pulls away from her.
"Come on, let's go find our new spot," he says and she bites her lower lip as she allows herself to get pulled with him as he continues their walk towards his newfound spot.
Kate sips her coffee as she thinks back to the waterfall and what hid behind it.
"Maybe we could take her there," Castle says with a small hope.
She looks at him with a smile growing on her lips. "Absolutely, you can take her there whenever you want," she says.
"What if I want us to go there together?" he asks and she looks down. "What?"
Kate takes a deep breath and opens her mouth as she raises from the couch in order to walk into the kitchen with her mug. "I don't deserve to come with you, in fact you two should spend some time together without me."
Castle stands up and walks after her in order to put his mug in the dishwasher machine too, right next to hers.
"Well, maybe I'd enjoy spending some alone time with her but I definitely don't want to show her our spots without you," he states and she's still avoiding his eyes.
"How come you can talk about this so easily when you're still angry with me and what I did?" she asks, not really sure how to handle this calm writer in front of her.
"I don't know," he says and she looks up at him. "I just feel like everything's finally falling back into place. I knew I was meeting you again for a reason."
"Yeah, a killer copying your books," she says and he humphs.
"What are the odds he'd choose my books?" he shot back and she bit her lip. "Come on, Kate, it was fate."
"Maybe," she admits.
Hazel eyes meet blues again, and for some reason none of them can look away. His ocean blues are making her need to catch her breath every now and then, still drowning in those eyes like she did so many times when they were younger.
"You know, I love that she has your eyes," he suddenly says and it makes her look away. "No, don't."
She's shocked when his hand cups her jaw to gently move her eyes back to his.
"Rick," she whispers in what she wanted to be a warning but it turns out more like a saddened reminder of how things used to be years ago.
His touch tingles, and even though she's doing her best her eyes flicker down to his lips before finding his eyes again only to see he's doing the same. She's trying to make herself pull away, she really is, but it's harder than she thought. And soon her lips are claimed by his and it's even harder to pull away. His lips are still as soft as she remembers, and she lets out a sigh she hadn't known she's been holding in as she's kissing him back. The hand on her jaw slowly moves into her hair and she feels herself being unable to resist the temptation of leaning closer into him. It's first when their tongues meet that she's waking up from the haze she's in.
"Rick," she gasps as she's pushing him away and he seems to be realizing what they're doing too, immediately creating space between them.
"Sorry," he breathes out and she shakes her head.
"We should probably call it a night," she says, her fingers fiddling with the hem of her shirt.
"Yeah, you're free tomorrow, right?" he asks as he's walking towards the door, Kate not far behind.
"Yes, I am," she says and bites her lower lip.
He reaches the door but doesn't open it, just turns around to face her.
"If we'd stayed together all those years ago, do you think we'd still be together now?" he asks and she crosses her arms around her chest.
She shrugs her shoulders as she looks down, feeling her hair fall down to hide from him. It only takes a second before his fingers are reaching out to put her hair strands behind her ear in order to look at her, just like he'd done when she'd tried to hide from him so many times before.
"I think we would be," he states and she looks up at him with curiosity in her eyes. "Because of the way I still feel every time I look at you."
She feels her heart skip a beat and she struggles not leaning closer to him again.
"I-I'll see you tomorrow," she says but as she's reaching up to grab his hand off of her cheek, where it had landed after getting rid of her hair, and their hands touch she's not quite ready to pull his hand off of her just yet.
His thumb caresses her cheek and she looks into those blues.
"Kate," he whispers. "Can I kiss you again?"
It's just a whisper, but she can hear him loud and clear, and she's so mesmerized by him and his eyes and his touch that she's not able to do anything but nod. Which immediately results in him leaning down to carefully nudge her lips with his. He's not kissing her, just teasing her enough to make sure she's the one to tip onto her toes in order to crash her lips on his. It's just like those times when she'd tried not to give in at those inappropriate times and places when they were together. And just like back then, she can't resist. She's standing on her toes and claiming his lips with hers.
It feels so weird and so right kissing him again. But something inside her tells her she shouldn't. It's too soon. They haven't resolved anything. But, god, it feels right. They kiss until they both are in need to breathe and only then they pull apart, breathing hard and deep.
"We shouldn't be doing this," Kate breathes out and she feels his breath on her face.
"Why not?"
She takes a few deep breaths before she's pulling away and creating real space between them. "We're not near okay, I'm still not okay with what I did, and you shouldn't be either. And we have Lily to think about, it's not like we can just jump right in."
"You're right, you're right," he says and shakes his head, most likely to gather his thoughts. "But I'll see you tomorrow, and we can work on it all. We just need time."
She nods and stays clear as he opens the door and gets out, making sure she's not close enough for them to do anything more stupid.
"Night," she says as he looks back at her standing in the doorway while walking towards the elevator.
"Until tomorrow," he replies and she can't hide the small smile as she closes the door and locks it.
As she ponders over what just happened she leans against the closed door. It still feels the same. The kiss still feels the same. He still feels the same. All the feelings she's tried to hold off for so long is coming right back like a flood and it's making her hands shake with all the regret she's drowned with. He's right. If she hadn't drawn a wall between them they'd still be together. And if they'd still be together she wouldn't have robbed him nor their daughter of time together. Many what ifs, but what's done is done. And there's nothing she can do to undo it.
"Kate? Are you in here?"
She hears him, but she can't find it in herself to answer. It's just a few days ago since she told him to leave, and now he's here again.
"I saw your dad leave and I have a feeling we should stop him, are you coming?" he asks as he enters her room and she doesn't look at him.
She actually ignores him, thinks that maybe he'll understand she wants to be alone.
"Kate?" he's closer now and she feels her body stiffen.
The second his hand touches her shoulder she's shrugging him off again and standing up from the chair she'd been sitting in, creating space between them. The closer he is the more she feels like something's going to happen to him too and kill her all over again. She can't…
"What's going on, Kate? Why won't you talk to me?" Rick says and soon enough they're both yelling at each other.
A/N: Sorry again for the bad updating. And apparently my the email is messing with me, I haven't gotten any notifications from fanfic so I keep forgetting I have to write and publish... I haven't written much in the late but hopefully I can write soon enough. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, until next time, xxxx
