CHAPTER NINE
My team is losing, battered and bruising
I see the high fives, between the bad guys
~ Taylor Swift, Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince
Bella Swan
For months, I thought I had truly lost my mind. As I sat in that meadow, my mind assaulted by hundreds of confusing and discombobulated images and scenarios, I had come to accept it. That I had gone insane. Or was in the early stages of going insane, at least.
On top of those images, those visions, my senses were constantly overstimulated in ways I never knew possible. I could feel everything from the grass beneath my fingertips to the slightest vibration against the ground where an approaching caribou pranced happily by. I could see miniscule air particles right in front of my face and the perfect pattern of a single leaf on a tree miles in the distance on a faraway hill.
All of it was overwhelming. All of it too much to concentrate on.
So I didn't. I sat in that meadow, trying not to let the sound of the petals of the flowers brushing against each other in the breeze push me over the brink of sanity and I waited.
For him.
Edward Cullen.
All I had was his name and a fleeting vision of our interaction, but I held onto it and refused to let it go. I had been burning for what felt like an eternity but that fraction of a moment with him gave me a sense of peace and security and calmness I hadn't known existed. One that certainly didn't exist in this new body and life I found myself in.
So I sat in that spot in my meadow and waited.
Once he finally found me, I knew it was real. Knew I hadn't lost my mind. Because I hadn't just been waiting three months for him. As soon as I saw him, felt the gentle brush of his fingers against my cheek, I knew with complete certainty I had been waiting my entire life for him. Would wait a dozen more lifetimes if that's what it took to find him.
A knot of fear tightened in my abdomen. Waiting for him had unknowingly been the easy part. Keeping him was the new challenge.
A gentle brush of fingers fluttered against my spine. His voice quiet but clear as it floated to the front of my mind. Everything okay?
I nodded against his chest, my hand that had been resting on the center of it reaching up to wrap around his shoulder. As if I could hold him here and never let him go.
Even though I was certain I hadn't lost my mind, I was well aware of how utterly insane the situation sounded. Were I ever to have to explain it to anyone, I would end up in a mental institution. It was hard to wrap my own mind around it all most days.
"Is there anything you want to pack?"
I sighed, a shaky uneven noise that I still couldn't get right. Breathing was natural for a human, but this new body had to be constantly reminded to do it. And usually the breaths came too fast to appear at all human or all disjointed and uneven. My new strength and speed were uncontrollable, even where breathing was concerned. I tilted my head on his chest to meet his eyes. "None of it was mine. Most of the clothing Alice leaves me ends up either covered in blood or torn to shreds."
His lips twitched with a smirk.
I had meant torn up by bears, but I had gotten better at hunting in the few short days since he had shown up. Now he was the only one tearing the clothing.
My cheeks would have been burning had they been able to.
Dating had never interested me before. I'd listen to girls my age go on and on about their latest crushes and had never been able to find a single thing that interested me about them. Teenage boys were notoriously atrocious to be around in general but even as a teenager myself I couldn't really stand them. I didn't understand Jessica Stanley's obsession with Mike Newton or his dull, shaggy blonde hair or his group of lackeys that somehow saw themselves as the best thing to walk the earth.
Boys had never interested me. Girls, either.
But while the whole sex thing was new for me, that unknown did nothing to curb the neverending need for him.
I leaned up, lips barely brushing against the sharp line of his jaw when I heard them approach. Felt the earth rumble beneath their too-heavy foot falls and scented the entirely off putting wet dog stench.
The growl was instinctual. Loud enough for them to hear it from the mile out they were from the house.
Edward's hand brushed against my cheek, killing off the remaining grumbling in the back of my throat. "I don't love it, either, but they're an added protection for you," he said softly.
I flinched as I felt one of them unknowingly walk right into a shield I had somehow locked in place around the perimeter of the cabin and mentally scrambled to somehow undo it. Or maybe reinforce it. I couldn't decide.
Edward's thumb brushed against my bottom lip. That tension, the pressure of whatever power constantly prickled underneath my skin, vanished.
I waited until the wolves got the hint, sulking off into the forest. Once they were out of earshot I tentatively asked, "Are you sure… Are you sure it isn't safer for everyone if we just disappear?"
Edward sighed, fingers brushing through a few unruly strands of my hair as he laid back against his free arm. It won't make a difference. Aro will destroy anyone in his path to her.
I flinched against his chest.
He cursed under his breath. "It won't happen. But, for the time being, I think strength in numbers is what we need. You're a newborn, and your power could manifest in a hundred different ways tomorrow. Carlisle has been around for centuries longer than me, his input will be invaluable. Your one afternoon with Alice seems to have already helped you get a handle on your visions."
I nodded. Alice was the only reason the visions didn't take over anymore. They were stored in the back of my mind, where I could pull from them if needed. Before her help and advice, they took over constantly. Always playing behind my eyes, always pulling me out of the present.
"I don't want anyone getting hurt because of me," I admitted quietly. Especially you.
A knot of terror settled in my gut. One strong enough I knew he would be able to feel. Hopefully he took it as fear for everyone as a whole. Not a silent plea for him to run.
I was almost sure I'd be able to let him go if he wanted. Let him run off with the Cullens or wherever he wanted without me constantly putting a target on his back. He would be alive, I'd remind myself. Use it to keep away.
"Don't listen to anything Eleazar says. You're not an omen. Aro doesn't know about you. He's restless, yes, but he's been restless for millennia."
"What if he wants you back? In Volterra?"
Edward let out another sigh, turning the tables before I could protest and hovering over me with mischief glittering in his molten amber eyes. "Were you this much of a worrier when you were human?"
I shrugged, attempting to keep my mind straight. A nearly impossible task with his palm sliding down my waist, curving around my hip. "Yes," I squeaked out, his lips brushing against the curve of my neck.
His teeth scraped against my nearly impenetrable flesh that felt like tissue paper beneath his touch.
Vampire bites in an altercation are painful. The venom stings, even after our change.
I tensed for a moment, his words bringing back my own three months worth of agony.
It's different. Between mates.
He was quiet for a moment, his mind rifling through hundreds of scenarios that nearly made my lifeless cheeks blush.
His hand tensed on my hip, sliding down to hitch my thigh around his waist. Just as I was about to let go of the tenuous hold I had on reality, the sound of approaching footfalls caught both of our attention.
Time to go, Emmett said mentally.
Edward's lips brushed against my neck, pressing softly against the skin in a silent promise.
—Miss Americana—
We planned as we ran.
It was decided that Edward and I would stay in a cabin nestled in the rockies that Carlisle and Esme used to get away from the 'kids' from time to time while the rest of the family set up what would hopefully be a somewhat permanent residence for the foreseeable future in a tiny little town on the outskirts of Calgary. Close enough to only be about a ten minute run to Edward and I if needed, but far enough away that any mishaps I might have while training would go unnoticed by the human population.
The idea of training had a fresh knot of unease settled in my gut.
My power…It was all anyone talked about. All anyone thought about around me. And I had no idea how it worked.
I never made a conscious effort to make the earth shake but it happened far more often than I would care to admit. Some things were a little easier to explain, like the shield that kept the wolves a good distance away this morning. I could understand why I did it, but I didn't exactly know how it happened.
The storms were tied to my emotions. It wasn't a conscious decision but the rain and storms… sometimes they were almost as natural as crying was as a human.
Insane, I thought to myself.
Edward's hand squeezed mine and the worries crumpled underneath it.
He enjoyed running, even if I held him back from his full speed. He was fast, faster than the average vampire. I saw his time in Volterra perfectly, in his current thoughts and the memories that I had unfiltered access too with the touch of his palm in mine. His runs through the hills of Italy were his favorite fleeting moments of his time there.
I took the opportunity to try and force whatever shield kept my mind from his away. It came in and out sometimes, so it was a little easier to try and manipulate it on purpose.
How is it different? I asked, eyes peeking over to see a smile overtake his face. Bites between mates.
It will be much more fun to show you.
It would be in his mind somewhere. I could find it if I looked hard enough.
Sorting through over a hundred years of his memory seemed horribly invasive, though. Even if nestled in the corner of his mind was my favorite place to be.
We got to our destination quicker than any car or plane could have gotten us there. The landscape was just as beautiful as the Denali National Forest. Plenty of mountains and rolling rivers. Flowers and meadows just as pretty as the ones that had become my safe place the last few months.
Edward took us on a detour once we arrived in the area. Carlisle, Jasper, and Rosalie would be going ahead to their town outside of Calgary to set up their story. Esme and Alice would work on making our cottage presentable. Emmett stayed behind, hidden in the forest surrounding Edward and I as an extra lookout.
The wolves, Jacob and Seth, were scouting the area. I ignored them as best I could. Coming to terms that werewolves felt some call to protect me wasn't going to happen anytime soon.
After a quick detour to hunt, Edward pulled me to a stop in a small patch of open field surrounded by a dense forest. He brushed his knuckles over my cheek bone, pressing a kiss gentle enough for a flower petal against my other.
My eyes fluttered closed, more than willing to ditch the idea of training. I wasn't sure what to train or how to do it in the first place. I was sure of about a hundred different ways I wanted those very fingers on me, though.
With a rush of a spring breeze he was across the small field, arms crossed over his chest as he eyed me. In a far more calculating way than I would have liked.
I saw myself in his thoughts, felt his own punch of fear in his bones as he sized me up. Thought of how another vampire would see me, what weaknesses they would assume I had.
Thoughts of his own history of war and conflict took over before he could stop it. And I felt the dread settle into his stomach as he pictured me in the middle of it.
Christ, she's so fucking small, he thought, eying me up and down.
I frowned down at myself. Yes, I was on the short side. Definitely compared to Edward, who had to be at least six-two if not taller.
I was five-six… five-seven on a good day. I had more muscle on me now than I did as a human, though. Both visibly and supernaturally.
I pressed my lips together, clasping my hands together in front of me. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."
Edward shook his head, clearing his thoughts of war and bloodshed and focusing back on me. "I spent a lot of time reading the vampires of Aro's guard. Trying to understand how their powers worked, just in case."
"Just in case I ended up being a ticking time bomb of unexplained abilities?"
He fought against a smile. "I did it so I would know his strengths and weaknesses, no matter what happened. It should help, the deeper we dive into your abilities, though."
Diving deeper into the power made my already frozen veins tremble.
Edward cocked his head to the side. "What is it?"
"I don't… like it. The power. Not knowing what else is there. I'm not a big fan of what I do know is there, either."
His brows knitted together. "Which power worries you the most?"
He was doing an excellent job at keeping his mind neutral after his slip up of war and bloodshed.
I thought for a moment. "I don't love that I make the entire planet shake."
The earthquakes had been relatively small so far. But it was still an earthquake. And I had no idea how they started or how they stopped.
"How did the first one happen?"
I frowned. Focusing on pulling the shield from my thoughts again to show him.
It was my second afternoon as a newborn. I had found the meadow quickly, recognizing it from my vision and immediately deciding I wasn't going to leave it until I found him. Or he found me.
Then all six of the Cullen's came to check on me at once. They were still a mile out, but I felt them. And knew they were going to try and get me to leave.
I hadn't made a conscious decision, didn't know it was even possible. But the ground started shaking, worsening the closer they got until they got the message.
"Everything is tied to your emotions," he mused.
"Rainstorms are cathartic," I told him. "Like crying."
"I've never heard of a vampire with control over the weather. There is one, Benjamin, who has similar elemental manipulation. Earth, wind, fire, and water. He's not with the Volturi, though they know of him. Keep tabs on him. He's in Egypt. I've only met him once, but he did placate Aro with a demonstration."
"He causes earthquakes, too?"
Edward gave me a patient smile. "He can."
I let out a breath of relief. It was comforting, knowing I wasn't the only one. Not that it did me much good if Benjamin was across the world, but it made me feel less like I was a bad afternoon away from breaking the earth's crust wide open.
"Hold your hands out," he said, leaning down and grabbing a handful of dirt from the ground and walking over with exaggerated slowness toward me and my outstretched hands.
"Ew," I grumbled as he placed about a cup's worth of dirt in my hands.
He cupped both of my hands, wrapping my palms around the dirt while his hands wrapped securely around the backs of mine.
"Close your eyes," he told me gently, his voice barely above a whisper.
I complied, doing my best not to flinch as I felt something squirming around in the dirt.
"Think of our meadow. All of the flowers, the fresh lavender blowing in the wind. The texture of the petals beneath your fingertips."
I did as he said, my mind filled with a perfect vision of the meadow. The lavender plants popping up from the ground in beautiful clumps of pale purple.
Edward's hands carefully opened my palms, but I kept my eyes closed. Engrossed in the peaceful meadow in my mind.
Edward's lips brushed my ear as he spoke. "Open your eyes."
My lids opened slowly, only to see a delicate lavender sprig blooming from the soil in my palm.
"Oh," I gasped, earning a chuckle from Edward.
I leaned forward, though it was unnecessary for my sense of smell, and sniffed at the plant that was emitting the very real floral scent.
"It's real," I murmured, watching as it fluttered in the wind.
"Very real," Edward said gently, before taking a step back. "Now, burn it."
My head snapped up to him. "But–"
"Be careful. Fire and vampires don't mix well."
"I've never… burned anything."
"You can," he said confidently.
My teeth dug into my bottom lip. I closed my eyes again, hoping the same method of creating the flower would work.
"Excellent," Edward breathed out.
My eyes popped open to see the last of the stem disintegrate and the flame sputter out against the soil.
"I did it," I gasped, staring at my hands full of soil.
"You did."
"But–I mean, it's a cool parlor trick but how does growing a flower help me with the whole earthquake thing?"
"It's hardly a parlor trick, Bella. It's exceptional," he clarified. "The earthquakes come from a place of fear. You're threatened and it's a defense mechanism. The more you practice, understand where that power comes from and what it is capable of, the more you'll be able to control it. Cause an earthquake if you'd like, not just as a reflex."
I sighed. It made sense, I supposed. But it wasn't exactly a step by step guide on how not to break the planet that I had been hoping for.
Edward motioned to my hands. "Again."
We spent hours in the clearing, flowers blooming only to be burned to dust a moment later. We–I–had to hunt a few hours in after I started wobbling on my own two feet. By the time the sun set I had been able to grow a nice little trio of lavender sprigs in my hand and burn them with a mostly tamed flame.
"That's enough for now," Edward said after my latest bundle of lavender burned to dust in my palm. He walked over, palm cupping my cheek as I dusted my hands free of dirt. "You're extraordinary."
I scoffed.
His fingers were firm underneath my chin, tilting my head up so my eyes met his. "You are."
I was immediately distracted, my lesson forgotten and discarded as soon as his skin came into contact with mine. My eyes drifted from his face, that beautiful face with the sharp jawline and warm caramel eyes that I had been dreaming about my entire life, down the length of his body. Even covered in a bothersome layer of clothing, the navy button down and dark jeans didn't hide what I knew was underneath.
It was a good thing I had never met him while I was still human. I knew my poor, beating heart would have stopped at the sight of him. As it was, I could hardly force myself to think of anything besides him. To want anything besides him.
It was not an exaggeration to say I would happily lock the two of us in our little cabin in the woods for days, weeks, months at a time and still not have enough of him.
Just as that power was always fizzling underneath my skin, he was always there, too. A never ending desire to have him close.
"Edward," I whimpered, my hands falling to his chest. That infuriating navy button down in between me and his skin.
He hummed against my cheek, his lips trailing down to the corner of my lips.
My paper thin hold on myself broke. I had him in the grass, clothing hanging off of him in shreds as I moaned into a kiss that would have left my human self in shambles.
I slid myself down on his cock before the last scrap of clothing had been torn from my body.
Edward growled out a curse. I draped myself over him, nails scratching against his scalp as I refused to let our lips part.
He turned the tables quickly, getting me on my back beneath him in a movement so quick even my eyes had to take a moment to adjust. Our rhythm never broke, though. He was still inside me, moving against me in a rhythm that was simultaneously perfect and still not enough.
Then his teeth scraped down the side of my neck.
I gasped against his shoulder. His teeth broke into my skin before I could beg for it.
My scream echoed off of the mountains.
Edward's growl reverberated against my neck, beneath the ground, throughout the forest.
He never faltered, his hips crashing against mine even as he pulled away.
Before I could reach for him, pull him closer and beg for the utterly satisfying sting of his bite again, his palm cupped the back of my head, holding me in place against his own neck.
His taste, so concentrated and pure and him, exploded on my tongue. My animalistic groans were muffled against his neck, my orgasm that seemed never ending since the moment his teeth sank into my skin crashing through my veins over and over again.
Edward's firm grip in my hair kept me close until he eventually had to tug me away.
He pulled away, just enough for his nose to brush against mine.
I forced my eyelids open and watched as his blissful, hooded eyes widened.
The reflection of my own eyes were clear in his, strands of silver intertwining through the amber.
A/N: long time no see, eh? As I said before, this chapter was finished before the hiatus. But I've got three of five chapters of the 'tis the damn season sequel (Snow On The Beach) done, so I'm hoping to be back to this one within a few weeks.
I had never planned on any BPOV in this story, but this chapter just popped out. I have so many ideas for these two after this break and I can't wait to get back to it!
Also, given how unreliable ffn is these days, I did want to remind you all that I keep all of my stories up to date in ao3 as well. My username is slightly different as my original was unavailable, but you should be able to find me under lovesafragilelittleflame.
I hope you all actually managed to find this update, and I hope you guys enjoyed it! I'll see you as soon as possible again!
