In the last chapter, the monarchy of Afghanistan was ended when the king's cousin staged a coup. After learning this, Saria and Assef later came across Amir and Hassan. Tensions rose to a boiling point when Hassan threatened Assef with his slingshot, in an attempt to defend Amir. This caused Saria to lose her temper, something which terrified Amir. Now, one full week has passed and we find Saria getting ready to celebrate her twelfth birthday.
Thank you to everyone who reads this story. I appreciate each and every one of my readers, truly. Again, please note that I do not condone the actions, dialogue, thoughts and opinions reflected by the characters in this story; it is merely a work of fiction.
I also do not claim ownership of the Kite Runner - this belongs to Khaled Hosseini and any characters, plot-points, dialogue and writing that is found in that book do not belong to me.
With that said, please enjoy this chapter, and without further ado, we shall get started...
December 05th, 1974.
I stood in front of the mirror in my room, hands behind my back as I attempted to do up the ribbon on my dress. My little fingers fumbled awkwardly with the red-and-white fabric, as I turned in an attempt to see what I was doing. The outfit I wore today - a red-and-white polka dotted dress with short, puffball sleeves and a knee-length skirt - was one of my best articles of clothing, and it given what this day was, it was more than understandable why I would dress up so formally. For you see, today was my twelfth birthday.
On this day, twelve years ago, I came into this world. It was a cold December night, around ten pm, to be exact - information that I'd managed to glean from my brother - that I was born. And now, here I was, all these years later, entering the very last of my preteen years. This was an extraordinarily special day, and because of this, my clothing needed to reflect that. Tanya would no doubt be scrutinising every aspect of my appearance to ensure I was dressed to perfection. After all, not only was this my birthday, it was also a celebration of the effort she took to bring me into the world. She always expected me to look my absolute best, of course, but on special days such as this, that expectation grew to astounding levels.
Finally managing to tie the ribbon on my dress, I bent down to adjust the hem of the skirt. Then, I picked up a small red ribbon from off of my vanity desk and clipped it into my freshly washed, golden curls. With that done, and the look completed, I gave myself another look in the mirror. The child that stared back at me looked nothing like a twelve-year-old girl. With her blonde ringlets, those sky-blue eyes, and that short stature, she looked more like a porcelain doll than someone a mere one year away from being a teenager. Stepping away from the mirror-child, I walked over to my bed and sat down upon it, tucking one socked foot under myself as I tried to gather up the courage to go downstairs and face my parents.
There's no point in delaying the inevitable, Saria, I thought, reaching up to twirl a lock of hair around my fingers, you will have to go down and greet them soon. Besides, aren't you even the slightest bit interested to know what gift they got you this year? No doubt it's going to be something ridiculously childish, but a present is a present, isn't it? And you know you'd never deny yourself the chance for some new trinkets, now would you?
Just as I was thinking this, there came a fast and loud knocking upon my bedroom door. Now, despite wanting to know what my parents had bought me today, I still was in no mood to have them come barging into my room - this my most sacred and private abode. But there was no way I could say that, was there? To do so would be disrespectful and I'd much rather do without a lecture or, heaven forbid, a whipping, on my birthday of all days. Crossing my fingers behind my back, I straightened up and, in my sweetest voice, said, "Come in."
The door opened with a slow, almost foreboding creak and I felt myself tense up. That tension was, of course, instantly dissipated when my other half entered the room. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, dressed in jeans and a white shirt, holding one arm behind his back. There was something in his hand that I couldn't quite see from this angle, and I wondered, with avid curiosity, what that might be. I smiled at him, thrilled that he would be the first one to wish me happy birthday. "Assef!" I exclaimed, grinning up at him.
Assef beamed in response, his eyes shining with joy as he regarded me. "Happy birthday, Saria," he said. He moved his arm from behind his back, revealing a medium sized object in his hand. It was wrapped in a light purple paper, with a square object that I could only assume was a card attached to it. He walked into the room and held the object out to me. "Here you go. I hope you like your gift, Liebchen."
I held out my hand, and he placed the gift into it. Whatever was in there was... soft. I held it aloft, shaking it back and forth as I attempted to figure what it was. There was always something interesting about guessing what a present was before opening it. In truth, I must admit I'd had some theories as to what Assef would buy me. I wondered if my guesses would be correct. But first, I decided to open the card. I gently pulled it off of the wrapping, turning it over and sliding my thumb underneath the seams so that I could open it without tearing what was inside.
With that, I removed the card from the envelope and looked down at it. The image on the front of the card seemed to be of stars, or something akin to that. The words 'Happy Birthday' were written across it in fancy, cursive font. It was beautiful. I eagerly yearned to know what my brother had written on the inside. I quickly opened the card up so as to find out. He'd written it in German, with a heartwarming and beautiful message that I shall transcribe here:
My Dearest Saria,
Happy Birthday, my darling. I can scarcely believe that twelve years have passed since you came into the world. There is nothing that I could ever give to you that would ever repay the wonderful joy that is having you in my life, but I hope that these words and my gift will at least give you some semblance of what you mean to me.
You are my everything, sister. My greatest treasure, my other half. I love you more than I have ever or will ever loved anyone in this world. You are my light, my love, my happiness, my sun and moon and stars. You mean more to me than I think I can coherently transcribe, and I want you to always, always remember that. These words seem wholly inadequate to the depths of my feelings, but I will say them anyway.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Eternally Yours,
Assef.
PS: Whatever you do, be careful with your gift. You'll understand why when you open it.
Tears sprung to my eyes, unable to contain my emotions. My lower lip parted, and I stared down at the card for so long that the words began to blur, meshing together so they became almost incoherent. My heart began to flutter, every cell in my body filled with what I could only describe as the most real, unadulterated, pure love that I had ever felt. Every word that my dearest brother had written was such a vast and tangible reflection of his love for me. The love that he showed every single day, that he had been showing ever since we were young children.
Our love transcended every other bond, this I knew. The feelings that I held for Assef were so strong that at times it seemed impossible to contain them. How I yearned so often to cry out from the highest mountaintop and proclaim my utter devotion to him for all and sundry to hear. To face the unworthy masses and let them know that their love was incomparable. Even the greatest Farsi poets, who wrote of love only known in fairy-tales, could never compare to the words my Assef had just written for me. A lone tear streaked its way down my face, then another, until I had to wipe hurriedly at my cheeks to stop myself from weeping openly.
"Oh, Assef," I whispered, holding the card to my chest. "Thank you, that... those are the kindest words anyone has ever said to me. And you must know I feel the same, truly."
Assef smiled. "I know, sister," he said, leaning against my desk. He motioned again to the unopened package that lay beside me. "Now, aren't you going to open your gift? You must be curious to know what's inside, aren't you?" Oh yes, he had me there. Most especially due to the postscript he'd left upon the card. Just what could he have possibly given me that warranted being careful with. Surely something not quite legal - or appropriate for a little girl to have.
My lithe fingers fumbled with the packaging, tearing it away with neatness and precision. Oh, I no doubt could have torn the thing asunder but why would I mess up perfectly good wrapping paper? Even if said paper was to be thrown in the rubbish basket later; no sense in being untidy, now was there? As I did so, something began to take shape. The colour yellow, then blue... and then I removed the last vestiges of the paper and my brother's gift to me was finally revealed.
It was... a rag doll. The kind that you'd give a child, and certainly a much younger child than twelve. She wore a light blue pinafore with flowers dotted about. Her hair - which was blonde, I noted - was tied in two neat plaits, held back by ribbons. Her sewn-on eyes had a distinctly sky-blue feature to them. I gently ran my fingers over her hand, noting how soft she was to the touch. All in all, she was beautiful, yes, but certainly not the type of gift that I'd expected my brother to get me. I mean... this doll was more suited to a five-year-old, honestly.
"Oh." I looked down, confused. There must have been some reason as to why Assef had given me this, though I couldn't quite put my finger on what. This was the type of gift that I'd have expected from my parents, not my brother. I brushed one of the doll's pigtails behind her back, then threaded the other through my fingertips. Assef had given this to me, and so I would love her, treasure her with every fibre of my soul. Still, I couldn't help but to wonder...
"Kinda looks like you, doesn't she?" Assef asked. The corners of his mouth lifted into a smirk. "That's why I chose her, actually. I know her beauty is but a poor substitute for the real thing." His eyes locked on mine, and I wondered, if only briefly, what he saw when he looked at me. "But all the same, I hope you like her..."
It was at this moment that I realised I hadn't thanked my brother for the gift. A selfish act, if ever there was one. I mean, I may not have understood his choices in buying me this doll, but he had bought me something and I would be remiss if I didn't express my gratitude for his kindness. Trying not to sound questioning in any way, I whispered a soft, "Thank you, Assef. She's beautiful. I... I love her."
There was a pregnant pause. Assef and I just looked at one another, neither of us breathing a word. He looked at me, then back to the doll, then to me again, and I could tell that he knew, he just knew, I didn't know what to make of her. Assef's mouth twitched. He tried to hide it but I could see he found the situation hilarious. "Sar..." he began, in that tone he always got when he was about to start teasing me. "Sister... you don't think that measly little toy is the only gift you're getting from me, do you?"
I blinked. Furrowed my brow. Then blinked again. There was another... gift... somewhere? But where? Nothing else was in that wrapping paper - I even went so far as to double check. If there was a second present, then where was it? Where could it be? I blinked owlishly up at my brother, feeling rather stupid at the moment. Assef laughed, pointing to the doll in my hand. "I'll give you a hint, Liebchen. There's a zipper on the back of your new doll. Behind her dress. Open her up, I guarantee you'll love what's inside."
Now I was intrigued. I flipped the doll over, hurriedly opening the Velcro that held her dress together. Opening it revealed a long zipper that went from the doll's back up to her neck. Odd, I thought, certainly not the type of thing that I'd have expected. Well now, let's see what's in here? As I unzipped the doll, I noted with amused interest that there was something oddly... hard... inside. My eagerness reached fever pitch and I quickly reached inside, grasping at something solid. I pulled it out, my eyes widening to the size of dinner plates when I caught sight of this, my brother's true gift.
A lighter. Black in colour with a silver trim, it fit snugly into my hand as though it belonged there. I held it aloft, flicking the switch. A bright orange flame appeared, shimmering, flickering. I stared at it, enraptured. Fire was so beautiful, was it not? So powerful. How such danger could be held in something so ethereal. I let go of the switch, and the flame disappeared. Tracing my finger over the lighter, I glanced down to see... my initials carved into it.
S.A.
Mine, I thought, with the utmost passion. All mine. Look at this, how beautiful!
My brother had bought me this. Gone out of his way to procure such an amazing, amazing gift. Even just holding this weapon made me feel so powerful. I could scarcely imagine the damage that I could do with this. Just think of how much pain I could cause to those who did me wrong! And for it to be engraved too... dear God, just how much money did my darling spend on this?
The tears were uncontrollable now. They streamed down my face and this time I couldn't stop them. I leapt to my feet, dashing across the room and flinging myself at Assef with such force I almost knocked us both to the ground. I threw my arms around his waist, clutching to him as sobs of happiness escaped from my lips. "Thank you!" I gushed, the words sounding utterly inadequate even as I said them. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love it, I love you, you're the best big brother in the whole wide world... I... It's incredible! Oh, Assef, thank you!"
Assef managed to untangle himself from my tight embrace. He took my hands into his own, rubbing them with his thumb. "What did I tell you?" he asked in a tender tone. "You see? I knew you would like it. The amount of time it took for me to find that lighter, and then getting it engraved... It was a few weeks in the making, yes, but you deserve it." He lifted my hands to his lips, pressing a light kiss to my fingers. "You are worth every penny and more, Liebchen. Always."
I felt so much more invigorated now. Ready to take on the world! Ready... now... to go downstairs and greet my parents. Stepping away from my brother, I picked up the lighter - my lighter - and replaced it back inside the doll. Such a clever idea, I realised. Nobody would suspect an innocent doll to be hiding such a threatening weapon. On some level, she appeared almost to be an allegory of myself. Outward purity that hid a twisted danger. I placed the doll onto my bed, sitting her on the pillows.
"I'll have to think of a name for her," I mused. "But there's time enough to decide on that, is there not? Come on, we'd better get going. Can't keep Mahmood and Tanya waiting all day, much as I'd like to." With this said, Assef nodded in agreement and the two of us left my room - the door to which I clicked shut behind me - and made our way downstairs.
As we neared the kitchen, and I steeled myself to go before our parents, I couldn't help but to wonder what type of gift my parents had gotten me. No doubt it would be something completely ridiculous and childish - perhaps another dress meant for a much younger girl or a children's book... or maybe another doll. Which, now that I think of it, the genius of my brother in hiding my lighter inside that rag-doll he bought for me knows no bounds, does it not? Mahmood and Tanya would expect him to have gotten me something and they wouldn't take kindly to me owning a lighter. But with that doll, we could kill two birds with one stone. I could hide the lighter and Assef could come across as the 'responsible' big brother who bought his baby sister the toys a child ought to have.
I wonder if they've planned some sort of party, too, I thought, my tiny hand wrapping around the doorknob. It's a high possibility, given how obsessed they are with showing off. It'd be a good chance for Mahmood to make some new business connections and Tanya... well, certainly she won't deny herself the chance to wax poetic over what a struggle it was for her to bring me into the world. Heavens knows that she's told me of it more than enough times!
My brother and I stepped into the kitchen. I looked around for a moment, my eyes eventually coming to rest on Mahmood, seated at the kitchen table. He wore a formal business suit, grey in colour, the type of suit that he'd wear when going out to meet with other businessmen. When going to kiss ass, as the saying might be. His dark hair was neatly combed back, slicked with tons of gel, no doubt. There was a clinking noise that directed my attention towards the sink, where I turned to see Tanya stood there, washing a plate and cup. Doing Hamilra's job. It made me wonder just where the Hazara was or why we even had one if we didn't use it as it should be.
The second, perhaps more important thing that I noticed when I looked at my mother was just how well she was dressed up. The gown she wore was a dark green in colour, falling past her knees. She had done her makeup in a noticeable yet still subtle manner. Her blonde hair was brushed neatly. She wore one of her best set of pearls around her neck. Were she and Mahmood really dressing up this much for my birthday? Well, I can't deny that I deserve it. But then... if Tanya was dressed this perfectly, would she think my own outfit was good enough? But there was no point in delaying the inevitable. Birthday or no, I would have to be scrutinised.
Approaching my mother, I stood before her with head bowed and arms placed neatly by my sides as expected. "Good morning, Mama," I said, trying to sound as deferential as humanly possible - though I wondered offhand if she could hear the smile in my voice. "I pray you are well today." Statement made, I lowered my eyes and waited for Tanya to make a judgement on my appearance.
It didn't take long for that to happen. Tanya looked me up and down, taking in every aspect of my outfit, my hair, whether or not I had washed myself today. She hummed, eyes narrowing as she scrutinised every aspect, leaving nothing left out. Finally, she gave me a quick nod. "Acceptable," she said, in a dismissive tone. "You may sit at the table with your father, Saria. You too, Assef," she added, giving my brother a sideways glance.
She hadn't... even acknowledged my birthday. No well-wishes, not even a smile. Nothing. But I pushed those bitter feelings aside and sat down at the kitchen table next to Mahmood. Assef sat in the chair next to mine, reaching over to take my hand in his. Again, I waited for Mahmood to say something. To acknowledge that today was the day his only daughter came into the world. But no. He did nought but glance at me, then at Assef. Then, he finished his drink and rose from his chair. He walked to the sink and handed the now empty cup to Tanya, who began the process of cleaning it. He looked back at my brother and I, and finally, he spoke.
"Today is a very important day," he said in that strict tone of his. "Though I expect that you both already know that." Was that... his acknowledgement of my birthday? It wasn't the type of acknowledgement that one would expect from a caring, warm and open father but when had Mahmood ever been any of those things? Still, if this was his way of noting my birth, then I would take whatever notice I could get. I was about to say something in response but my brother got there before I could.
Assef squeezed my hand, rubbing over it with his thumb. He gave Mahmood and Tanya - who had finished the wash-up and was now stood beside her husband - a charming grin. "Oh, we know exactly what you're talking about, what a special day today is, now don't we, little sister?"
I giggled, swinging my legs back and forth. "Why yes, dear brother," I responded, in a sweet, innocent tone. "I know well what a special day it is. Oh, it's making me so very happy to just think about it." Yes, I was acting like a child in this moment, but I knew that doing so would earn me favours with Tanya and Mahmood. Twelve I may be, they would want their precious little girl to act as innocent and young as possible. This I could provide.
"This might be the most important day in the world, no, in the universe," Assef responded. His tone was light and teasing but there was most definitely an underlying hint of truth to his words. He meant that statement as clear as he would have meant it if he said 'the sky is blue' or 'the grass is green'. "But I am sure Mother and Father already know that too, Saria." He looked at Mahmood and Tanya, almost expectantly. "Isn't that right?"
Tanya glanced in Mahmood's direction, a look of confusion on her face. "Well... well yes, today is very important..." she said, with a shaky smile. She lifted a hand and ran it through her hair, before letting it fall by her side. She looked at Mahmood again and mouthed something to him. I couldn't quite tell what they were saying to one another, but Mahmood shook his head and inclined towards Assef and I.
My brother rested a hand on my shoulder, looking at Mahmood and Tanya with an expectant gaze. "I bet you can't wait to see what's on the agenda for today, don't you, Saria?" he asked. Again, I kept the childish and innocent grin on my face as I nodded like my head was on a spring. This being my birthday, I knew, or so I hoped, that I could get away with this lighthearted teasing and playfulness with my parents. Maybe we could but for one mere day, one day out of the year, act like a normal family. Maybe...
Oh, but how foolish I was to wish for such a thing. You would think after twelve long years of heartache that I would have learned my lesson. My previous birthdays, yes, had been the only times when Mahmood and Tanya would act like they cared for me. But now that was at an end. They were about to show their true colours, leaving my brother and I caught in the crossfire.
Mahmood slammed his hand down on the counter-top with such force that I practically jumped out of my skin. His face was contorted in rage, brows knit together as he glared at us both. "I don't know what you two are playing at," he growled, "but the business meeting that your mother are attending today is extremely important. It has been months in the planning, and may mean big things not only for me but for this family." As if he didn't say this about all of his meetings? "Quite frankly, I don't know what you two find so funny about all of this, but I am blown away by the sheer lack of respect that you both show to your mother and I."
To say that I was taken aback would be an understatement. They had a business meeting? That alone wasn't shocking - Mahmood spent more time in business meetings, in hotels with big name airlines and shaking hands with important people, than he ever did at home with his children. Tanya followed him, his pretty little trophy wife, by his side... But... judging by the harshness of his words, how he was glaring at us, how confused he looked when my brother attempted to joke with him and Tanya about my birthday... this could mean only one thing... he had forgotten.
He forgot my birthday. He forgot all about it. The day that his daughter was brought into the world. One might even argue that this was one of the most important days in the world - second only to the day that my Assef was born. Without this day, there would be no Saria Ahmed. How could Mahmood forget that? How could he not even acknowledge it? How... how could he be so cold and dismissive to me?
Beside me, Assef whistled, sucking in air through his teeth. His grip on my shoulder tightened. I could hear his breathing, sharp and rough and ragged. I didn't need to turn around to know that his other hand was clenched into a fist. I didn't need to see his face to know that he was giving Mahmood (and Tanya too, no doubt) the cruellest glare that he could muster). I opened my mouth to say something, to fix this whole sordid mess, but Assef got there before me.
"Your business meeting isn't what Saria and I are so happy about, Father," he ground out. Every word of that sentence must have taken it all out of him not to lose his shit. Not to go all-out and beat the living shit out of our parents, as I knew he must have wanted to do. His hand trembled on my shoulder. "In fact, neither of us knew you were going to any such meeting until now."
"Then for what reason are you two so happy?" Tanya asked, her voice high like the shrieking harpy that she was. "Hmm? Can you not see how apprehensive your father is? Can you not see the stress that he and I both are going through?" She stepped forward and for a second I thought she meant to grab me by the arm and smack the crap out of me. Assef pulled me into his side, angling us so that I was half hidden from view, protected from any onslaught. Tanya, noticing this, stopped dead in her tracks. "Does your father no longer deserve your utmost respect? Do I no longer deserve the honours that are due me as your mother?!"
Honours?! I wanted to scream. Honours? What fucking honours, you bitch? What honours do you deserve? What, would you like me to fall to my knees and thank you for the prestigious honour of bringing me into the world?! But then why should I do that when you can't even fucking remember that? When you've just made it clear that I do not matter one jot to you or that piece of worthless lard you call a husband? Why should I care for you when you DON'T care for me?!
Tears of frustration welled in my eyes. My arms trembled, my lower lip quivering. I wanted to burst into sobs and yet I would not dare to give my parents the satisfaction of seeing the pain that they had caused me. I turned my face to the side, while Assef rubbed my arms, trying to keep us both from losing it. He opened his mouth, no doubt to tell Mahmood and Tanya just what a meaningful event they had forgotten, but I caught his attention before he could do so and shook my head. Now, you may be wondering... why?
Why would I not have wanted my brother to tell them about my birthday? Why would I not have wanted him to let loose on them for what they had done? And the answer is... well... I knew that this would start a fight. The rage that my beloved was no doubt feeling on my behalf was palpable and on some level I feared the repercussions that may come if he were to let the anger loose. I knew that Assef wanted to curse them out and that if he could he'd knock both their heads together and leave them a bloody mess. Can you imagine what would have happened then? What our disgusting parents might have done to me? To him?!
That was something I would not let happen. Not if I had any say in the matter. I took his hand in mine, cuddling against his side, in an attempt to placate both of our ever rising tempers. While this was going on, Mahmood and Tanya exchanged a glance once more at each other. For a split second, then, I wondered, what if this is all part of some elaborate ruse? What if they had remembered my birthday but were just pretending they didn't because they had a surprise party planned that they didn't want me to know about?
In any other, normal family, that would be the typical response, would it not? To make the person in question believe you had forgotten their special day only to take them unawares later on. But I soon deduced that this was not the case here. Planning a surprise party for me was just not what my parents did, and even if they were to curate a surprise for me, then... why would they not have included Assef in this? He seemed just as confused as I was and I knew for a damn fact that Assef would not side with Mahmood and Tanya on anything - most certainly nothing that would cause me any pain.
There was nothing for it then. I had been forgotten. My shoulders slumping, I gave Tanya a sad little look. As though perhaps hoping to give her that one last chance to redeem herself on this day, I whispered, "Mother, are... are you sure there's nothing else going on that's special today? Nothing else that could warrant celebration, perhaps even in the smallest case?" I don't know what I was expecting but the response that I got was, in all truth, the one that Tanya always gave when I was speaking out of turn.
She seized me by the arms, pulling me from my brother's safe embrace and kneeling down so we were level. Gripping my skin between her fingernails, which dug into my flesh with such force it was painful, she gave me the cruellest glare she could muster. "I don't know what you're talking about, Saria, or what you seem to think is so important today but I have had enough of your insolence, young lady. You have done nothing but make light of the stress your father is under, since you're under some deluded assumption that whatever immature, childish achievements you may wish to celebrate are in any way comparable to the efforts that we, your parents, put into ensuring your own well-being, my child. Instead of being so selfish, why don't you offer support and understanding to your father who is yet again putting himself under extreme duress so that he can ensure you still remain within the comfortable upbringing that you and your brother are so privileged to have?"
I wanted to ask what privileged upbringing she was talking about. Did she think I liked being treated this way? That being rich and living in a well-to-do neighbourhood meant anything? That having parents who could afford to buy me the latest in American novelty items (a sure sign of wealth here in Afghanistan) meant anything? Did she think I wouldn't trade all of that, to have grown up with a mother and father who cared? To just think of it made me want to cry but in no way was I going to give Tanya the satisfaction of knowing she upset me. I muttered a quiet apology, then turned from her to look at Mahmood, granting him my most subservient countenance.
"I apologise for my insolence, Papa. I am grateful for all that you do for this family and I pray you accept my gratitude and well wishes on your venture this day." Mahmood gave me a quick glance, and nodded. His forgiveness - or what I assumed was such - was enough for Tanya to relinquish her grip on my arms and stand up. She and Mahmood exchanged a whispered dialogue with one another, and then she bustled into the hall, no doubt gone to fetch her coat before they left.
Mahmood addressed my brother and I. "Now, your mother and I will be gone for the day. We should be home by the late hours of tonight, but you both will no doubt be asleep by that time." At this, he gave me a pointed look that said, under no uncertain terms, was I to be up and about when they returned. "Assef, you are, of course, in charge. Ensure that your sister eats lunch and dinner at a reasonable hour, and that she is in bed on time. We will, as I say, be back late tonight or early tomorrow. Goodbye, both of you."
And with those oh-so-charming parting words, he was gone. I listened to his footsteps, out in the hall, muttered voices as he spoke once more with Tanya. Finally, after what seemed like eons, the front door opened and shut with a click. I was almost numb as I listened to the familiar sound of the car's engine as it reserved down the gravel driveway and soon faded from my hearing. They were gone.
Assef and I just stared at one another. For the longest time, neither of us seemed to know what to say. The pain of being scolded, of being grabbed like that, and of knowing that I had been forgotten, it was all too much for me. I trudged to the kitchen table and sat down, placing my chin in my hands. Concerned, my brother was at my side in an instant, hand on my shoulder. "Saria? Saria, Liebchen, speak to me, please?"
"Bread," I muttered, because for some unexplained reason, the one thing that I was thinking in that moment was that I hadn't eaten breakfast yet, and that I didn't want to become ill from not doing so. Assef gave me a confused look and I clarified, "sorry. Could... could you get me some bread, please? Not toast just... bread and some butter, so that I can have some breakfast. Get to some sense of normalcy." Why did I care about such things? I didn't know, but it was far better than listening to the voice in my head whispering how worthless I was.
Walking to the cupboard, my beloved got me what I asked for, returning in short order with not only the buttered bread I requested but also a glass of water which he placed on the table before me. I muttered a soft 'thanks', picked up the bread and began chewing absently on the sides of it. Assef sat beside me, turning his chair to face mine as he put a hand on my knee. "Will you speak to me, my darling?" he asked, "what those pieces of shit did to you was disgraceful, you must know you didn't deserve it. For them to forget this most important day of the year... it's heinous. But please, don't let it get to you, sister. What do you wish to do today? You need only say the word and you will have anything your heart desires, if it's in my power to make it happen."
I thought about it, staring out into the distance as I mulled over the options for what to do. Go out to the market? No, I didn't much feel like that. In truth, I felt more like curling up and bemoaning the unfairness of the world, but I knew that doing so would only cause my ever-dampening mood to worsen. I needed to do something to make myself feel better. Feel wanted and in control. The idea came to me like a cliche bolt of lighting; how could I not have thought of this? Grinning, I looked at my brother and, before I could change my mind, asked, "Can... I mean... would you mind if I invited Adia over?"
It had been some time since last I'd seen my friend. In fact, the last time that we were in one another's company was that oh-so-disastrous day when she had lead me to attack her, due to her rudeness about my Assef. But now, I found myself wanting to see her again. We had left one another on somewhat good terms that day - though Adia had been a little apprehensive, perhaps understandably so, but she had allowed me willingly to embrace her as we said goodbye. I hadn't given much thought to her since, but now... now I wanted to put my friendship with her back on track. Not only because being with Adia gave me a sense of power and control, but also because, foolish this may sound, I needed to be within the presence of someone who adored me, as I knew she did. To know that there was someone out there, other than my brother, who cared about and valued me.
Assef pressed a kiss to the side of my head. He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. "Of course she can, Liebchen. Anything for you. Come on, let's go phone her parents and see if she's available, shall we?" Rising from his seat, he extended his hand to me. I took his hand in mine, and he began to lead me to Mahmood's study, where he kept the phone. My half-eaten slice of bread sat forgotten on the kitchen table - but that was of no matter. Hamilra would clean it up later.
It didn't take long for us to reach our father's office - that most private room in the house that neither myself nor my brother were permitted to enter unless it was an emergency. On some level, I wondered if needing to use the phone to contact a friend constituted as an emergency, but I quickly brushed that off with the mental note that I gave precisely zero shits about what my father would think.
Stepping behind Mahmood's desk, Assef pulled the large, leather, high-backed chair out from behind the desk and sat down upon it. An act of blasphemy in the Ahmed household, if ever there was one. Yet that was of no matter to my brother, who gestured me close and, when I was near enough to him, reached out and pulled me onto his lap. Then, picking up the receiver, he flicked through the brown notebook in which Mahmood wrote the names and numbers of his business 'friends' and colleagues, until he found the Kalahari's number. Dialling it, he held the receiver to his ear and left it ring.
Those few seconds wait were torment, not knowing if Adia was even home, or if she was, would she be allowed to come over? But after a tedious wait of about ten seconds - a wait I forgave them for because, well, there was no way they could have known that it was my brother and I calling, now was there? I'm sure that if they had, they would have fallen over themselves in their haste to answer. But eventually, I heard a faint male voice on the other end, and Assef spoke up.
"Hello? Javid?" The man must have answered in the affirmative, for my brother continued, "hello, Javid! This is Assef Ahmed here, yes, Mahmood and Tanya's son. How are you?" More small pleasantries were exchanged, and then Assef got down to the crux of the discussion. "Is Adia there? She is? Oh, that's good. Javid, I was wondering, my sister would really like to see Adia again, it's been so long since they both got to spend time with one another, wouldn't you agree? Saria here wanted to ask if Adia would like to come up to our house and spend a few hours here?"
Javid said something on the other end of the line, though of course I was unable to hear it. I glanced to Assef, who pulled me closer on his lap, pressing a tender kiss to the side of my head. Then he spoke again. "Our parents are away on business for the day, so I'm in charge. Adia can have lunch over here if she would like, and... well, she can stay for dinner too, if that would be agreeable to you and Faraya jan, of course. It's entirely down to you, but I know Saria would love to see Adia again..." With this last statement made, Assef trailed off, looking down at me as he waited for Javid's response.
When he did, it was to agree to the plans. He and Assef said their goodbyes, with Javid promising to drop Adia over within the next half-hour. Conversation at an end, Assef put the phone down, then turned to me. "Well, Liebchen, she's coming," he said. "Didn't I tell you you would have all that your precious heart desires?" He drew me to him again, as I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed myself close to him. I pulled back, offering my brother a smile. Assef pressed a finger to my nose, then lifted me down from his lap. "Now, why don't you say we go sit in the living room until she arrives, hmm?"
I nodded, and together we left Mahmood's office - first putting everything back where it used to be. Making our way into the living room, we cuddled together on the couch for those few minutes waiting for Adia to arrive. It didn't take long - no less than twenty minutes, I was impressed; she must really have wanted to spend time with me - for there to come a knocking upon the front door. My eyes lit up, and I threw myself from the sofa, almost dropping to the ground in my haste. "She's here!" I exclaimed, delighted to have my obedient playmate back at my side. Adia worshipped the ground I walked upon, and that was exactly what I needed right at that moment.
My brother lead me out to the front door, unlocking it and pulling it open. There, on the front porch, dressed in a white shirt and light green, knee-length skirt, her hair held back in a ponytail - stood Adia. She was huddled against her father's side, shifting nervously from one foot to the other. It was Javid who spoke first, granting my brother and I a friendly smile. "Hello, Assef, Saria jan, it's lovely to see you both again."
"It's very nice to see you again, too, Kaka Javid," I replied, bowing my knees in curtsy. Offering him my most demure and polite smile; that looked I so often honed to perfection around grown ups. "I hope that Khala Faraya is keeping well, yes?"
Javid smiled. "She is, Saria jan, thank you for asking after her. Such a sweet girl you are." With that out of the way, he turned to his daughter. "Now, Adia jan, you behave yourself and do exactly what Assef tells you; he's in charge today, okay?" At this, Adia gave my brother a nervous glance. Javid didn't notice, still continuing his speech. "I'll be back later this evening to pick you up. If that's okay with Assef and Saria, of course?"
"Of course," Assef replied, "she's welcome to stay here for as long as she likes." Such a generous soul my brother was. He motioned for Adia to come inside. She glanced back at her father, an unreadable expression on her face. It was at this moment that I realised, she hadn't looked me in the eye since her arrival. In fact, she seemed to be doing everything within her power to avoid looking at me. I didn't like that - not at all. Though I told myself she was only acting this way because she was apprehensive around my brother. I knew how she felt about Assef, did I not? I may not like it, but hopefully by spending time with him today, she would get over this fear and come to see the good in him, of which there was an abundance.
Placing a hand on Adia's shoulder, Javid leaned down and pressed a kiss to the girl's cheek. I wondered, on some small level, what it must feel like to have a father who treated his daughter with such affection. "Go on now, darling. You have fun now. Assef, you have our telephone number should you need us for any reason. Like I said, I'll be back this evening to pick Adia up." He smiled at Adia again, ushering for her to step inside the house. She did, staring at my brother, her eyes darting to rest on me every so often. Javid, who was already making his way down the drive, didn't notice any of this.
Assef closed the front door behind him, then turned to face Adia and I. Adia gulped, nervously looking between him and I - as though afraid one of us might strike out against her. Like she thought we were some sort of wild beasts. She absently brought a hand up to rub at her arm, that spot where I had grabbed her weeks earlier. Any bruise she might have gotten there was long since healed, I noticed, so I didn't like that she was acting as though it still hurt her. It didn't... It couldn't... could it? No, no. But I decided not to think on that. It could just be but a knee-jerk reaction. Maybe nothing to worry about. My mind was always running away from me - and on a day like today, more so than ever.
"Thank you for inviting me to come and play, Saria," Adia said. It was the first thing that she had said. Her voice was a nervous whisper, and she stuttered as she attempted to get the words out. She kept her eyes on the ground, focused on her shoes, as she dug her heel in. "I... I uh... I really appreciate it..."
Someone told her to say that, I thought, my mind bitter with that realisation. No doubt her father coaxed her in such polite greeting. But she's not that good an actress, is she? No, no, I can tell she's bothered by something. I can tell she didn't mean what she just said. She hasn't even looked at me yet. No, don't think like that, Saria. You're too stressed by this morning's events already. Maybe something else is bothering her, something in the family, perhaps. Just push that negativity to the back of your mind, it won't do you any good to be thinking like this.
I offered Adia the best smile that I could muster, not wanting her to think there was anything amiss. "I'm glad you could come, Adia jan, I've missed playing with you." There, that's the way. Buttering her up would keep her sweet, and would ensure our play date ran smoothly, would it not? And speaking of play... I motioned towards the stairs. "Come on up to my room, I'm sure I've got some toys or games up there that we'll both enjoy." Saying so, and beginning to make my ascent up the stairs, I turned to address my brother. "Assef jan, you'll call us when lunch is ready, won't you?"
Assef nodded. "Of course, Liebchen. I'll have Hamilra prepare something for us and call you down when it's ready. That'll be about one o clock, I'd imagine. Sound good?" I gave confirmation that yes, it did, and he smiled. "Alright then. You girls go on and have fun."
"We will. Come on, Adia!" Saying this, I took the girl by the hand and began leading her up the stairs, chattering away as I did so. I wanted to put up a happy facade, to keep up the front of innocent joy and levity and goodness. My world had been so cruelly tilted upon its axis by Mahmood and Tanya's mistreatment and forgetting my birthday, and now more than ever I wanted to set it to rights again. Just a few peaceful and edifying hours with this sweet girl I had blessed with the privilege to be mine. I wanted to see her smile, to hear her sweet voice, to bask in the warmth of her gentle devotion. Sure, she'd been quiet, uncharacteristically so, but I figured there could be any number of reasons for that. I shouldn't worry too much. Oh, but how wrong I was!
As we reached the top of the stairs, rounding the corner and heading for my room, Adia pulled her hand out of mine. I noticed without even having to turn around, the abruptness with which she yanked herself away rather jarring, to say the least. Again, I told myself not to mention it. We reached my bedroom door and I pushed it open, stepping back to allow Adia entrance first. The polite house-guest as always.
She stepped inside, glancing around nervously, as though being shoved into a pit with a hungry viper or menacing lion. Her eyes darted every which way, from the shelves, to the vanity desk, to the bed. I shut the door behind me, then turned to face her, grinning. "So, Adia jan, what would you like to play, hmm? I know you like jigsaws, though I can't say I have many of them... but maybe you'd be interested in a quick round of panjpar? Assef and I play it all the time, and he'll be the first to tell you, I always lose. So you never know, you might even beat me. And I'll let you choose the next game we play if that's the case. How's about it?"
Was I already planning to let Adia win, regardless of the circumstances? Yes, yes I was. So desperate was I to return the girl to her bubbly, cheerful self that I was willing to do anything. Of course, this being more for my own benefit than hers. I wasn't much in the frame of mind to be dealing with whatever had caused her to be so downtrodden. I waited her answer, studying her serious little face for any sort of emotion. For anything that might indicate how she was feeling, or even, on a simpler level, what she thought of my idea.
Finally, she nodded. "That sounds..." she began, then stopped herself. "I mean... it's your house, Saria... so we should do what you want... I... Panjpar sounds like fun, I g-guess... Uhm, maybe after that, we can play marbles, I mean, if-if you want..."
Marbles next, then, I thought, making a mental note of that. I crossed to my shelf, motioning for Adia to sit upon the bed, and retrieved my stack of playing cards. Bringing them back over with me, I sat across from her, dealt them out and with that, we began to play. Now, if I wanted, I could delude myself into believing that everything went perfectly. I could write about how Adia and I played together and how she began to come out of her shell, how she returned to her usual, happy form, becoming the chipper young girl I knew. I could tell you all about how she began to loosen up and how this day only served to make our friendship grow from strength to strength. I could end this piece of writing here and allow myself to remain blissfully ignorant to the pain that I both suffered and inflicted on this day. But no. I have promised myself to be as honest as possible within these memoirs, and so that is what I shall do. And the truth of the matter is, there was something wrong with Adia.
It was in her mannerisms, how she scarcely uttered a word to me. How she sat at the farthest edge of the bed, practically cowering away. How she kept glancing at the closed door, then back to me, then to the door again... as if, I realised, wondering how much time she would have to make a quick getaway. How she kept one leg dangling off the edge of the bed, toe resting on the carpet, again, ready to bolt for the door if she needed to. This was not normal behaviour, and certainly not for Adia. Was this the same girl who had hung on my every word just mere weeks prior? Where had the sweet angel who I set my sights upon vanished to? Where was my best friend, my worshipful acolyte? But then... I didn't need to ask that question, did I?
She was afraid of me. No, not just afraid. Terrified. All because of what I had done to her the last time we met. That was why she had been so skittish, why she kept rubbing her arm when she thought I wasn't looking. Why she gave those nervous looks to Assef, perhaps fearing that he might want to enact his own form of punishment upon her. That day was still fresh in her mind and she still hadn't healed from my cruelty. I wondered then, if her parents had needed to persuade her to come up to spend time with me. Or did she do it on her own volition, not because she wanted to see me again, but because she was afraid of what my reaction might be if she said no? Did she fear the consequences of her disobedience?
Normally, I would have thrilled in the idea of being the cause of such fear in another's psyche. But not now. Not with Adia. The whole point of my friendship with the girl was to bring a little bit of levity back to my life and most especially on a day like today. Besides Assef, this child was the only friend I had. The only other person who would, at least I hoped, want to spend time with me. My own fucking parents didn't even bother to acknowledge the day I was born. How was I now to react to my sinking suspicions that Adia feared me? That, in her eyes, the demure little girl sat across from her was nothing more than a vicious animal. No... no... I couldn't have this. I needed to set things right, to get back the friendship that darling Adia and I were starting to formulate with one another.
"Adia," I said, in a tone that was gentle yet stern all at once. "Adia, sweetie, put the cards away. I know the game isn't done yet but I need to speak with you." Ever obedient, she tossed the cards to one side and looked at me. I ignored that little voice in the back of my head which told me she only did so because she feared my reaction if she were to refuse and moved closer to her. She scooted away. Only an inch, but it was noticeable and it stung my already fragile heart. I told myself not to think of it, though still that voice in my head spoke to me of how worthless I was, how all of this was my fault and I deserved her fear, her ire, her... hate.
I shook my head, trying to clear those thoughts. No. No, I didn't need to worry or think like that. All I had to do was apologise. That was it. Once I gave her a true and genuine apology and explained my side to her (yet again) then I'm sure she would understand this time. I would make her see that I still cared, still wanted to be her friend. She would see just what it meant to be loved by Saria Ahmed and she would embrace me with open arms. "Adia," I whispered, "I... You're afraid of me, aren't you? Because of what happened last time? Because I was mad at you? Because I hurt you?"
My only answer was a shrug. Adia scooted further along the bed, still looking at the door. I moved closer to her, reaching out before she could bolt from me. I took her hands in mine and softly rubbed my thumb over the back of them, gentle, a show of compassion. "It's alright, I know you're scared. You've been acting off all morning, and I... I understand. I mean, I might even be scared of me too, if I were in your shoes." At this, Adia tried to move away again, but I shook my head, and she froze up, a petrified whimper coming out of her lips.
Ignore that, I thought, she's only apprehensive. Just keep being sweet to her. You'll make progress soon enough, and everything can go back to normal. This is just a simple bump in the road, everything will be as it should be soon enough, you know this.
I continued my gentle persuasion of the child's sensibilities. "You must understand how sorry I am for what I did that day, Adia jan," I whispered. "I lost my temper and I reacted in a way I shouldn't have. Didn't I tell you this when first it happened? Did I not express my regret as soon as I could?" Again, a voice in my head - Conscience, how strange to hear it roar to life when it came to anyone who wasn't my brother - scolded me with the knowledge that I had apologised back then to save face, not out of any real guilt for Adia. I, once more, ignored it. "Because I do regret it, Adia, I do. Perhaps more so than you care to understand. I hate seeing you fearful of me. That's not the kind of relationship I want us to have, my dear, and I know that's not what you want either. Come on. Just... talk to me about this. Let's get our feelings out and I guarantee, our friendship will become all the more stronger for it."
No answer. I was almost pleading now. Desperate for her forgiveness, for her to see that I wasn't the terrifying monster she saw me as. I was just a person, just a kid like her. I had lost my temper, yes, and maybe my way of dealing with my anger was a little unorthodox, but that didn't make me evil, now did it? All I wanted from her was loyalty, devotion and obedience. I wanted her to be mine, to treasure and honour me. If Assef could have this obedience from Wali and Kamal, then why could I not expect the same from Adia? Friendship wasn't too much to ask, now was it?
Adia whimpered, her little mouth opening and closing as she attempted to speak. Was this it? Was she going to be honest with me? To tell me how she felt, so that we could begin the healing process? Oh, how I would have done anything for that to be the case... but no. She continued to shake her head and look everywhere but at me. Deciding it was now time to really hone in on how sweet I could be when necessary, I opened my arms and enveloped the little girl in an embrace. I rocked her back and forth, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, being as gentle with her as I knew my Assef would be with me if I were upset or frightened.
"Please don't fear me," I cooed, "please, Adia, you have nothing to be frightened of. Nothing. I'm not going to hurt you, sweet girl, I promise. All I want to do is talk. I want to make you feel better, for you to not be so nervous around me." Around my brother, too, I thought, but pushed that notion aside. I would deal with her fear of me first, then I could move onto what she thought of Assef. I kissed the top of her head. "You're my best friend, Adia jan. Do you think I would have invited you round to play if I didn't care for you? Hmm?"
Another fearful whimper came from Adia's lips. She looked at me with wide eyes. "N-Noo... I mean... please just leave me be, Saria... I d-don't wanna talk about it... please.. I don't want... I don't..."
I tightened my grip on her, not to the point it would have been painful, but most certainly to where it was noticeable. "All I want is your friendship, Adia. Can you not give that to me? Can you not give me a second chance, as I have given to you? You must know you hurt me too, darling, saying those words about my brother. But come now, can't we put the past behind us? Please, give me the chance to make it up to you. To be the good friend I know I can be." The unspoken words hung there at the forefront of my brain; to be the good person I know I can be.
But Adia had enough of my gentle machinations. She began to struggle away from me, pushing her hands in between our embrace to wrestle out of it. "N-No, no... Don't wanna talk... no... no... please, Saria, go away... no... I don't want to! I don't want to! LEAVE ME ALONE!" It was with this high-pitched yell of disdain, fear and disgust, the girl manage to wrench herself free of my grasp and, in her attempts to break free of me, shoved me backwards. I was not expecting her to have reacted in such a manner and thus, I fell sideways off of the bed.
My back hit the floor with a loud thud and I lay there, stunned, like a tortoise on its back, with my arms splayed out by my sides. I didn't move, perhaps, in that moment, I couldn't move. I just kept blinking rapidly, lower lip parting as a gasp of pain and shock escaped from my lips. The fall hadn't been from that great a height, of course - my bed only being about two or so feet off of the ground, but in no way had I been expecting for Adia to shove me away so violently. It was as if she were trying to fight for her very life.
As I lay there, I turned my head slowly towards Adia. She was staring down at me, her eyes wide. She looked at her hands, as if she couldn't believe what she had done. As if she couldn't believe that she was capable of such an act. Scooting back against the wall, she let out a nervous whimper, and.. picked up my doll. Yes. The doll that Assef had just given to me. Adia picked it up like it belonged to her, cuddling it, burying her face into its stitching. For what seemed like ages, we just looked at one another, then Adia began to speak.
"You..." She muttered, drawing her knees to her chest. "Y-You scare me, Saria... I... I don't know why you act like you do. One minute you're all nice and sweet and I think we can be friends but then you act all scary and you hurt me and you... you turn into a completely different person." She clutched tighter to the doll, my doll, and shook with terror. "There... there's something not quite right with you, Saria. Something off. You're weird and you're creepy and I don't... I don't like it..." Tears welled in her eyes, and she whined. "I just... you scare me," she repeated.
Her words broke my heart. Such simple statements, the words of a terrified child, but they were enough to set my broken mind aflame. I lay there, frozen, tears welling in my eyes. She's afraid of you, Saria, came that harsh, cruel voice in the back of my head, you can't even make a friend without entirely fucking up and ruining everything. You piece of shit! Your own parents forget your birthday and leave you, and now even Adia doesn't want you. You worthless pile of human trash, you freak! What the fuck is wrong with you?
But just as these bitter thoughts began to assault my fragile psyche, I found myself becoming incensed. Adia had no fucking right to speak to me that way. She had no FUCKING right to put her hands on me. After all I had done to make her feel welcome, to make her feel like she mattered. Did this self-righteous little cunt think that I begged pardon of everyone I hurt? Here I was, trying to make amends, to make her smile, to make her happy, and this is how she repaid me? By lashing out and shoving me away, like I was little more than garbage that she wanted to toss away. Well, fuck that! She had no right to treat me this way. I wasn't the one in the wrong here, was I? No, I had apologised for my actions, I was trying to make everything okay between us again; it was her choice to react the way that she did.
Her fault, I whispered, growling under my breath. Her fucking fault, I've done nothing wrong, I'm trying to be a good friend here, she has no fucking right to treat me in such a terrible manner. I've been nothing but nice to her this whole time and she can't even give me this? She thinks I'm some sort of freak? Well, I'll give her something to cry about! FUCKING BITCH!
With a feral roar of fury burning through my throat, I struggled up and made to lunge at Adia. Getting up on my elbows, I fixed the trembling brat with the cruellest glare I was able to muster. Right before I could swing for her, I heard the sound of thundering footsteps coming up the stairs. Assef. My door swung open and there he stood, gaping down at the scene before him. In an instant, he crossed the room and dropped to his knees beside me.
"Saria, what happened?!" he asked, in German. "I heard a thud, and raised voices. What's going on? Why are you on the floor, sister?" He took a glance at Adia, who was cowering against the wall, having now started to sob brokenly at his mere presence, maybe knowing that now she was really up the creek without a paddle. Assef pointed at her. "Did she do this to you? And why the fuck is she holding your doll?"
I struggled up, placing a hand to the back of my head, massaging the sting from the fall out of it. Turning my bloodshot, rage-filled eyes towards my brother, I pointed to Adia. "She hurt me," I growled out, again, in German so that Adia didn't know what we were saying. "She's been acting fucking weird all day, 'cause she's still pissy I attacked her the last time. So I tried to apologise to her but then she fucking shoved me off of the damn bed and took my doll and then she said I was weird and she-she thinks I'm a freak and-" I trailed off, breathing heavily. Assef placed a hand on my shoulder, looking me deep in the eye.
His gaze burned with protective fury. "That self-righteous little cunt," he grit through his teeth. "She needs to be punished, Liebchen. We can't just let her get away with treating you like this. No, no. She must face the consequences of her actions. Shall I go and get my brass knuckles?" It was a good option, yes, and I knew that my brother would cause Adia a world of pain with them, but... no. Something else came to mind, a punishment that I knew would much more fitting for this crime.
I shook my head, taking Assef's wrist in mind as he made to go fetch said brass knuckles. He looked back at me, and I, with my lip curled in sadistic apprehension, whispered, "lighter." Yes, I was going to burn Adia. To put that lighter to good use. That would teach her not to fuck around with me. That would show her who was in control in this relationship.
Assef nodded once. He stood up and crossed to Adia, reaching out and yanking the doll from her. In so doing, he almost bent her fingers back. She howled in pain, and he raised his hand as if he were going to strike her. "Shut your fucking mouth," he spat. He opened the back of the doll, removing the lighter from out of it. At the sight of it, Adia's eyes widened and she shrieked. Knowing now the fate that awaited her, she leapt off of the bed and attempted to make a run for it. Unfortunately for her, my brother's reflexes were faster than hers and he intercepted her before she could do anything.
He caught Adia around the waist and dragged her back, keeping a firm grip on her so that she couldn't attempt to struggle away. Tossing her to the ground, he placed one foot down on her chest, then gestured for me to come over. Well, I didn't need to be told twice. I hurried over to Assef, and he handed the lighter to me. "She's all yours, Saria," he said, "I'll just hold her down. You give her what she deserves. Show her who's boss."
Dropping to my knees, I waved the lighter in Adia's face. She turned her head away. "N-Noo... no please... nooo... please don't..." she cried. But I would not be moved. I had spent so many hours today - my fucking BIRTHDAY, mind you, trying to make this girl happy and she had repaid me with cruel words and violence. Those pathetic tears and pleas for mercy would not move me. Nobody fucks with Saria Adelah Ahmed. I didn't care that she was meant to be my friend. In all honesty, the fact that I considered Adia to be a friend made this hurt more. I would be remiss if I didn't punish her for it. She deserved to suffer as I was now suffering.
Assef moved so that he was kneeling behind Adia's head. He pinned down her arms, while I straddled her chest, so that she was unable to move away. I reached over and lifted her shirt up, exposing the bare flesh of her stomach. Flicking on the lighter, I marvelled at the bright orange light that illuminated us now. It was beautiful, holding it made me feel so fucking powerful. Though judging by the yelp that escaped Adia's lips, she did not share in my admiration.
"You might want to cover her mouth," I told my brother. "She's probably a screamer and I don't think either of us want to be listening to it." Assef nodded and placed his hand over Adia's mouth, preventing her from crying out. I didn't need to be distracted by her crying like a bitch, did I? I held the lighter aloft, flicking it on again, moving, slowly, meticulously, down to Adia's flesh. "You're afraid of me, Adia jan?" I asked. "Hmm? You think there's something wrong with me? Well, you backstabbing little cunt, how about I give you something to really be afraid of?!"
With this, I pressed the open flame against her skin, watching with a keen interest as that little patch of flesh turned bright red and her body started to tremble, while guttural groans of agony escaped from her lips. She tried to kick and scramble away, but between Assef and I holding her down, she was unable to move even an inch. I continued to move the flame along that certain area of her stomach, enthralled by the way her flesh puckered and changed under its light. She deserved this. She deserved to be hurt. I don't give a fuck what you may think of me, I know I'm in the right here. I know I am. And I will defy anyone, even my own Conscience, to tell me otherwise.
Minutes later, when I felt that Adia had well and truly learned her lesson, I pulled back. Switching the lighter off, I tossed it to back on my bed. Assef moved away, and I stood from Adia's chest. She curled in on herself, wailing loudly. "It hurts, it hurts!" she moaned, arms wrapped around her injured waist. "It really hurts, why... why would you do that to me? Why?!"
"Because you hurt me," I replied, in as bland a tone as one might use when discussing the weather. Adia curled up into a ball, not even acknowledging my words. She should have been begging my pardon for her actions, and the fact that she wasn't only made me angrier. All she kept muttering was how much it hurt, how much she wanted to go home. I crossed to my bed, picked up my lighter and put it back into the doll where it belonged. In a numb voice, I addressed my brother. "Assef, she wants to leave, so can you please contact her parents and send her off? I no longer want anything to do with her today."
Assef yanked Adia to her feet, gripping her arms firmly. He leaned down so that the two of them were almost nose-to-nose. "Right, you little cunt. Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to take you downstairs and you're going to sit in the living room and not say another fucking word while I phone your father and tell him to come and pick you up. We're going to pretend that Saria has an upset stomach and that's the reason you have to leave early." A much better excuse, I knew, than pretending Adia herself was sick. Her parents would want to have her checked out if that were the case. Assef continued on. "You will not breathe a word of what happened to anyone. You will not act in any way that may give them cause to believe you're upset. And, Adia, you will be treating my sister with more respect from now on. It is a privilege to be Saria's friend and you had best start remembering that. Because if you don't, if I ever find out that you've hurt her again, I will end you. Is that clear?"
The girl just nodded. She couldn't speak. Assef took her under the arm and frogmarched her out the door. "I'll be back in a few minutes, Liebchen," he called over his shoulder. I watched as he practically dragged the sobbing Adia out the door. I could hear him scolding her harshly as the two descended the stairs. Once they were out of earshot, I rolled over onto my bed, curling into a ball. That oh so wondrous adrenaline rush I always got after hurting someone was beginning to fade away and now I was left with only the most bitter feelings of shame, pain, rage, loneliness and agony.
Today was supposed to have been a good day. I was meant to be happy, smiling and laughing, with friends and family who cared about me. I was meant to be opening presents given to me by a mother and father who loved me more than they loved business and money and being perfect. I was meant to have a best friend who understood me and forgave me when I made a mistake. I was meant to feel cherished and loved and like... like a person that mattered. But instead, here I was, having just burned a girl that I was meant to care about. Feeling so broken inside I wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I reached out, pulling my doll to my chest and burying my face in her hair.
"Happy birthday to me," I began to softly hum under my breath, "happy birthday to me. Happy birthday, dear Saria, happy birthday to me." My voice cracked on the last word, and that was it. I broke down sobbing, unable to keep it in any more. I was shattered, humiliated, worthless. I hated my parents, I hated Adia, and most of all, I hated myself. Everything hurt and I didn't know how to make it better.
Some time later, I know not how long, I heard the a knock on the front door. No doubt someone come to pick Adia up. Within mere minutes, the door clicked shut again, and she was good. Good fucking riddance. I didn't even bother to look out the window to see her leave. The less I saw that little bitch right now, the better. I just continued to lay there, a sobbing heap, not evening caring to notice my brother's footsteps coming back up the stairs.
He pushed open the door to my room again, and stepped inside. "She's gone, Liebchen, Javid came and picked her up. We stuck the story, nobody's any the wiser to what just went on. She-" At the sound of his voice, I turned my tear-stained face towards him, holding my arms out. Assef didn't need to be told twice. He crossed the length of that room in two steps, cooing in love and sympathy, and pulling me into his arms. "Oh, Saria," he breathed, gathering me into an embrace. "Oh, my darling, it's alright, it's alright, please don't cry..."
My fingers gripped the front of his shirt as I buried my face in his neck, tears running down my face. There was so much I wanted to say, but couldn't get the words out to do so. Assef just rocked me back and forth, whispering sweet, tender words of comfort and love into my ear. "I feel..." The words came through broken sobs, "so worthless, Assef, so fucking worthless. My fucking birthday and this is how I get treated? I... I just feel so angry and so sad and my heart feels like its been stamped on and... and like everyone but you is against me and it hurts and it's not fair!" Yes, maybe I was acting more like a whiny baby than a twelve year old girl in this moment but quite frankly I could care less.
As always, my beloved understood just what I needed, and did not judge me for my outburst. Assef manoeuvred the two of us so that we were laying side by side on the bed. He held me close, smoothing a lock of hair on my forehead and pressing his lips to my temple. He continued to gently whisper to me, trying to calm me down. "It's okay, Liebchen," he said, "I know it hurts, I know... and I am so, sorry that you've been hurt today. I hate seeing you in pain, little sister, and if I could set the world aflame to bring you even the tiniest bit of joy, then I would do so." He looked me directly in the eye and the sincerity of his gaze was strong enough that in other circumstances it might well have brought me to my knees. "You mean more to me than you'll ever truly know. My love, you are the most important, most precious and dearest person in my entire life. You deserve to be given the universe and more, Liebchen."
"I don't feel very special," I muttered sadly.
Assef pulled me closer. He lifted my hands and kissed my wrists and palm softly. His gaze was filled with the utmost love and compassion. Just seeing how much he cared for me was already starting to make me feel better. "Then I'll spend the rest of my life working to make sure you know just how special you are to me. No matter what it takes, I will make you happy, my love, I promise. You are my everything."
My tears were starting to dry now. Trust Assef to have made me feel better. I moved closer to him, my most beloved soulmate, and wiped the tears from my eyes. "I... Thank you, my Assef. I don't know where I'd be without you. You mean more to me than I can express, big brother. I love you." Looking at him, wishing he know just what I was thinking so that he would know how much he meant to me, I added, "from the moon to all the stars."
"I love you from the moon to the end of the universe," Assef replied, with the utmost sincerity in his voice.
I smiled. "I love you more."
"Not possible." Assef finished off the ritual as he always did, by pressing a gentle kiss to the top of my head. I snuggled closer to him and there, the two of us lay, cuddled against one another. Despite all of the pain and suffering I had gone through on this day, despite the fact that I knew I would soon have to deal with the fallout of Adia's punishment and what it meant for my friendship with her, right now I was safe in the arms of the most important person in my life. Whatever else came, my Assef and I would get through it together, as one, just as we always did. My twelfth birthday may not have gone as I'd hoped but at least I had my brother and with him by my side, I could achieve anything.
I only hoped that brighter days lay ahead.
Thank you so much to everyone who reads! In the next chapter, the annual Winter Kite Fighting tournament takes place, with Saria and Assef as spectators. But things take a turn as the tournament draws to a close and gives the Ahmed siblings the chance to get their revenge on Amir and Hassan for what happened last time they met.
I'll do my best to have the next chapter out soon. Thank you again to everyone who's reading this story. I appreciate it more than I can say! Sending love and best wishes.
