So far our changes from canon have been far and few between. Rest assured that will change. Just be patient with me.
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Komachi was absorbed in a fashion magazine. I saw her out of the corner of my eye as I drank my morning cold brew coffee. I liked it cold. Like the dark freezing emptiness of space and the eventual heat death of the universe. Heating up foods wasted free energy and accelerated entropy.
Annoying phrases like 'how to get a man' and 'super trendy' appeared repeatedly; in general, the article seemed to be filled to the very brim with idiocy. I found my mouth had opened blankly, dribbling coffee out of the corner of my lips.
Will Japan really be okay like this? That article was seriously the lowest common denominator, and yet my little sister was nodding as she read it. What the hell was there to agree with?
That 'Heaventeen' magazine or whatever seemed to be the biggest fashion magazine for middle school girls. It was at the point where people didn't just read it-it was more that if you didn't read it, you would get bullied at school.
"Ohhh…" Komachi sounded impressed by something. Bread crumbs rained on the magazine page. Was she trying to impersonate Hansel and Gretel or something?
It was seven forty-five AM.
"Hey, the time."
My little sister was still engrossed in her magazine, so I poked her shoulder with my elbow, trying to tell her that it was time for her to go to school. Once I did that, Komachi suddenly raised her head to check the clock.
"Uwahh, oh no!"
"Uwahh, oh yes," I fired back. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, you-look at your mouth. You still got something there."
"Eh, really? My mouth is all jammed up?"
"Your mouth some sort of automatic rifle now? That's definitely not the right way to use 'jammed up.'"
"Oh no, oh no." She continued rushing around and wiped her mouth with her pajama sleeve. You know, my little sister can be pretty masculine sometimes…
"By the way, big brother, sometimes you just don't know what you're saying, do you?"
"Sometimes," I agreed as I watched her panic and change into her uniform. "Don't strip right here, dammit…"
I looked away from where she was dressing.
"Life is too bitter, so coffee, at least, should be sweet…" I added some creamer to my coffee.
"Big brother! I'm ready!"
"I'm-I'm still drinkin' my coffee. You'll just have to wait."
"Gonna be laaate. Gonna be laaate," she sang.
A few months ago, this idiot sister of mine completely overslept. Just when it seemed that she would definitely be late, I put her on the back of my bike and gave her a ride to school.
Ever since then, little by little, the frequency with which I took her to school had been steadily rising.
There is nothing less trustworthy than a girl's tears. That was especially true with Komachi, who apparently was well-equipped with the skills often possessed by the younger siblings. She could masterfully manipulate her older brother. What a nasty girl… She was responsible for my belief that all girls are like her, always using boys for their own selfish gains.
"It's your fault if I stop trusting women, you know. What am I going to do if I grow old without getting married?"
"If that happens, then Komachi will do something about it."
"When that happens…" I corrected her.
Komachi gave me a smile. I thought my little sister would always remain a child, but seeing that strangely mature look on her face made my heart beat a bit faster.
"I'll work hard to save money and put you in a nursing home."
Optimistic about my chances, was she? It's be fuckin' miracle if I made it past forty. In my head I always imagined dying sooner than that, though. I just needed her to be in a good place and then I was out of here. Strike three.
"…I guess you really are my little sister, huh…?" I couldn't stop myself from letting out a sigh. I drained the last of my coffee and stood up.
When I did that, Komachi began to push me from behind. "Big brother is being slow, so it's already this late! Komachi is going to be laaate~~!"
"You damn brat…"
If she wasn't my little sister, then I would've already sent her flying. Things were flipped in the Hikigaya household. My dad was unusually doting when it came to my little sister; he's been known to say that he would kill any boy who came close to my sister, even if that boy was her older brother. Hearing him say that seriously nauseated me. But in the end, if I sent my little sister flying, then I probably would be kicked out of the family
So in short, not only was I the lowest rung the school social ladder, I was even the lowest rung in my own family.
We left the house and I mounted my bike. Komachi got on behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist to hold me tight.
"Let's go!"
"Hasn't anybody taught you how to say 'thank you?'" That was my fault. Really and honestly.
Riding double on a bicycle is forbidden by the Road Traffic Law, but Komachi has the mind of a child, so please go easy on us…
I lightly set off. Soon Komachi spoke up.
"Don't crash today, okay? Komachi is riding with you this time."
"So it's okay for me to crash if I'm by myself…?"
"No no no. big brother, sometimes you get this glassy dead-fish look in your eyes… I worry about you. This is what they call a little sister's love, you know?"
Komachi said that and pressed her face into my back. If she had left out that first part then I would have been tempted to call her cute, but now she just seemed like a sly brat.
But to be honest… I didn't want to cause my family any pointless anxiety either.
"… Yeah, I'll be careful." I rolled my eyes.
"Make sure you're especially careful when Komachi is on board. Seriously."
"You're begging me to pick the bumpiest way to school, right?"
But, naturally, I didn't want a repeat of the last time I did that. All I got was 'Ow, that hurts!' 'That hit my butt!' and 'Now I'll never be able to get married!' the entire way, so I chose a pretty level path. All her outbursts that one time gave me a bad reputation in the neighborhood, you know…
In any case, safety first.
I had gotten into a traffic accident on my first day of school. I was pretty nervous about starting a new life at my new school, but I sealed my fate when I chose to leave an hour early for the school entrance ceremony.
I think it was around seven in the morning… A girl walking her dog near the school lost her grip on the leash when, unfortunately, an expensive-looking limousine was coming down the road. Before I knew it, I had begun to hurtle towards them at full speed.
And so they had to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital. That was the moment that destined me to be alone through high school.
That accident wrecked my sparkling brand-new bike, and I got a hairline fracture in my golden left foot.
If I were a soccer player, then a dark shadow would have been cast over the Japanese soccer world that day. Thank God I wasn't.
And it was a relief that my injuries weren't that severe.
What wasn't a relief was the fact that the only people who came to visit me in the hospital were family. My family came to visit me once every three days. Dammit, at least visit me every day… I chuckled darkly. We'll see how often they visit my fucking tombstone.
Komachi hit me as though she knew what I was thinking. "You went to a bad place again. Didn't you."
"Don't thought police me!" I shouted.
After my accident, my sister and parents began to eat out a lot. Every time my sister came and talked about how they had gone to eat sushi or Korean barbeque, I wanted to just reach out and snap her pinky.
"Oh I'm gonna. Komachi has to. It's part of her sisterly love."
"Well stop it."
"Ahh, we got to my school. Komachi is going ahead!" Komachi ignored me.
As soon as she said that, Komachi hopped off the bike and dashed off towards the school gate.
"You damn brat…"
I glared at my little sister's retreating back, but right before she disappeared into the school building, Komachi turned around to give me a quick bow.
"I'm off, big brother! Thank you for the ride!"
When I heard that and saw her waving at me with a smile, I even felt that my little sister was a bit cute. I waved back, but then I heard my little sister add, "And be sure to watch out for cars!"
Maybe I won't. Maybe next time I get hit, I die. What then? Mercifully end my wretched existence. Hit with me with your limo.
I let out a resigned sigh and swiveled my bike around, beginning to head for my high school…
…towards the high school where that dog's owner might be.
It's not like I had some master plan of what I'd do once I met her. I just was a little curious. By now you must have a pretty good idea of how I handle girls: poorly.
But we hadn't met for a year after that incident, so that made me think that she didn't really care about meeting me… Well, that was natural. All I'd done was break my bones to save her dog. It was totally enough for her to just send a thank-you gift to my house.
My gaze suddenly fell on the basket attached to the front of my bike, where I saw a black school bag that wasn't mine.
"… That idiot."
The minute I turned my bike around and to rush in the opposite direction, I spotted Komachi running towards me with tears in her eyes.
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Different months meant different activities in gym class.
In my school, gym was held jointly with three different classes, and the sixty boys in that group were split into two activities.
We had the choice between volleyball and track until this month. Now we would be doing tennis or soccer.
Naturally, both Zaimokuza and I were brilliant soccer players, but we both placed more emphasis on individual skills. Therefore, we concluded that it would actually be counterproductive for us to join the soccer team, so we chose tennis instead. And, naturally… I was a man who had abandoned soccer forever because of the old wounds on my left foot. Not that I ever played soccer to begin with…
However, it seemed that too many people wanted to play tennis this year. And so, after a heroic round of rock paper scissors, I found myself surviving in the tennis group even as Zaimokuza was thrown back to the soccer group.
"Hmph, Hachiman… It is truly regrettable that I will be unable to put my magical curveball on display here. Without you… Who in the world should I partner up with for passing practice…?"
That made quite a deep impression on me: Zaimokuza had gone from his usual confident demeanor to teary-eyed desperation.
Who in the world would be your partner? That applied to me, too.
And so tennis class began.
I did some half-assed stretching and then listened to a tennis lecture from our gym teacher, Atsugi.
"Okay, everyone try hitting now. Pair up, one on each side of the net."
Once Atsugi had said that, everyone split up into small groups and went to opposite sides of the court.
How the hell did they pair up so fast? They didn't even look around! Were they masters of the no-look pass or something? My sensitive loner radar began to act up, detecting an elevated chance of a loner opportunity. Fear not: I had developed a special trick for times like these.
"Umm, I'm not feeling so well right now, so can I go just play by myself off the wall? I don't want to cause anybody else any trouble."
It was also super helpful when I was super schizophrenic and had bugs in my eyes, nails in my feet, or railroad spikes in my ears. I hallucinated quite a bit of pain and sometimes voices. It just took a lot for me to see shit. Like shadows jumping at me or some similar bullshit from the crevices of my brain. I was a tactile-auditory guy. Not so much visual. Not like John Nash but kinda like John Nash and by God I didn't really need more comparisons between me and John Nash.
I just didn't.
I announced that and, without waiting for Atsugi's response, I quickly walked towards the wall and began hitting off it. Atsugi probably saw that he had missed the best timing to respond to me, so he didn't argue with me at all. That was way too perfect…
The statements 'not feeling so well' and 'cause anybody else trouble' had a great synergistic effect, and using them also allowed me to nonchalantly act as if I actually did have the motivation to work hard.
This was it: the master countermeasure that I had discovered after so many gym classes where I was told to 'pair up with whomever you like.' Maybe I should teach Zaimokuza some day… I'm sure that guy would break out into tears of joy.
I chased after the ball and hit it back at the wall, repeating that motion over and over again. Time trickled by as I continued with that humdrum activity
I heard boisterous shouts from around me as the other boys engaged in flashy tennis rallies.
"Uryahhh! Ohh?! That was a good shot, wasn't it?! That was amazing, wasn't it?!"
"That was great! No way anybody else could've hit that! Awesome!"
Their shouting suggested that they were definitely having fun during their free practice session.
'Please shut the fuck up. Please.' I thought. And as I turned around I saw Hayama.
Hayama's pair-or, rather, he seemed to be in a group of four-consisted of himself, a blonde that I'd seen hanging out with him a lot in class, and two others that I didn't really recognize. They were probably from class C or class I or something… At any rate, they were practically exuding an aura of flashy stylishness as they played.
"Woahh!" The blonde missed the return on a ball that Hayama hit and shouted. Everyone turned towards them, wondering what had happened.
"Hayama, that was seriously something else! Did that ball curve? It curved, didn't it?!"
Ahh, I guess I accidentally sliced the ball… Sorry, that was my bad."
Hayama raised a hand in apology, but his words were drowned out by the blonde's next overreaction.
"Seriously?! You can hit curve balls and stuff like that?! Hayama is the real deal, man! The real deal!"
"Haha, really?"
Hayama decided to join in, laughing happily. At that point, the pair hitting next to Hayama and company also spoke up.
"Hayama-kun is good at tennis too, isn't he? That slice you just did right now… Could you teach me how to do that too?"
The guy who said that and started to walk towards Hayama was a boy with dyed brown hair who otherwise looked pretty meek. We were probably in the same class. I didn't know his name, so he probably was no big deal.
In the blink of an eye, Hayama's quartet had grown into a sextet. They were now the largest ruling body of this gym class…
In any case, that was how tennis class became the Hayama Kingdom. It almost felt as if you shouldn't be in the class if you weren't part of their group. Naturally, everyone outside of the Hayama group was silent. Farewell, freedom of speech…
The noisiness of the Hayama group gave off a strong impression, but Hayama himself wasn't making much of that noise-it was more the people around him. More specifically, that blonde guy, who had volunteered to be the Chief of Staff of the Hayama Kingdom, was the noisiest.
"Slice!"
See? He's insanely noisy.
The ball the blonde guy hit wasn't a slice at all, and it instead flew completely off course from Hayama into the damp, dark corner of the court. In other words, it flew towards me.
"Ah, sorry, my bad! U-Umm… Hi…? Hikitani? Hikitani, could you get that ball?"
I looked around wondering who the fuck he was talking to. Who the hell was Hikitani?
But I didn't feel like correcting him, so I just grabbed the ball that was rolling towards me and threw it back.
"Thanks!"
Hayama gave me a cheerful smile and waved at me.
In response, I gave him a small nod.
…Why the hell did I nod back? Some kind of jedi mind trick. He mind tricked me into nodding back.
It seemed that I had instinctively come to think of Hayama as above me… Even by my standards, that was really submissive. It was so submissive that it made me think that even in terms of submissiveness I was probably losing to someone…
I took these gloomy feelings of mine and hit them against the wall.
Walls were essential companions in youth.
However, I'm sure that Hayama would never come to that conclusion. That miraculous theory was only made possible by my unusual resentment.
All right, let's call it a tie for today then… Yup, that sounds about right.
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-WG
