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"Sure, I'll leave it to y‐" Hayama began blithely until the shock registered on his face. "Huh?!" Yet within a moment, he regained his composure and smiled. "Ahem, why do you need to do that?" he asked Yukinoshita calmly.
At that, Yukinoshita, whose cold expression was the complete antithesis of Hayama's, began to speak slowly, as if carefully choosing her words. "Sending chain messages… that is a despicable act that tramples over a person's dignity. While they hide in the shadow of anonymity, they slander others for the sole purpose of damaging them. Spreading the slanderous words is no less of an evil thing to do. Healthy curiosity is one thing, but to continue spreading slanderous words… unless you eradicate the root cause, there won't be any results. Source: me."
"Is that from personal experience…?" I asked.
"Really, I wonder what's so amusing about spreading messages to show contempt for someone. And I do not think there is any merit in what Sagawa or Shimoda did…" Yukinoshita drawled slowly.
"So you took care of them all…" Yuigahama said with a rather strained smile.
It was stuff like this that affirmed how resourceful Yukinoshita was and how frightening she would be as an enemy.
"Man, your middle school sure was hip and up with the times," I remarked. "Nothing like that happened at my school."
"…that's because nobody asked you for your phone address."
"Ouch fair enough. Easy Yukinoshita. Stand down," I murmured. But yeah, the reason I wasn't so involved with this texting drama was probably what she said. I had never been asked for my phone address. That was where Yukinoshita and I were different. She'd been exposed to outright hate while I hadn't. Somehow, I suspect that if that had happened to me, I wouldn't have found the culprit. I would have gone straight home and cried in my pillow. Then done math to make me feel better.
"In any case, a person who commits such a despicable deed undoubtedly deserves to be eradicated," Yukinoshita went on. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth ‐ vengeance is my creed."
Yuigahama reacted as if she had heard that phrase somewhere before. "Oh, we learned that it in world history today! That's from the Magna Carta, right?"
"It's Hammurabi's Code," Yukinoshita answered smoothly, before turning to Hayama. "I'll look for the culprit. I believe all it will take for them to stop is for me to have a word with them. I'll leave everything that follows to your discretion. Or is that not to your liking?"
"…uh, that's fine," Hayama said resignedly.
Actually, I thought the same way as Yukinoshita did. If the culprit went to the effort of changing their phone address, it was because they didn't want their true identity to be known and were afraid of being found out. In that case, they would probably stop the moment their cover was blown. Basically, finding the culprit was the quickest way of finishing things.
Yukinoshita stared closely at the cell phone Yuigahama had placed on the desk. Then she put a hand on her chin in contemplation. "When did the messages start circulating?"
"Last weekend. Right, Yui?" Hayama answered, and Yuigahama nodded.
…hey now, Hayama. You just called Yuigahama by her first name. I didn't know how these popular kids could go around casually calling girls by their first names. If it was me, I'd definitely be stumbling over myself. The fact that Hayama could utter such embarrassing phony things while still being respectful made me kind of mad. What, was he an American or something? Though in reality my problems ran deeper than my nation of birth.
"So it suddenly started last week, I see," Yukinoshita mused. "Yuigahama, Hayama, did something happen in class last week?"
Nothing comes to mind," said Hayama.
"Yeah…" said Yui. "It was just like normal."
The two of them looked at each other.
"I'll ask you just to be thorough, Hikigaya," said Yukinoshita. "Did you notice anything?"
"'Just to be thorough', you say…"
I was in the same class, thank you very much. But well, since I was watching from a different place from those two, there were things only I might notice. My ability to notice stupid bullshit was real low.
…so last week, huh? That meant something happened recently. Something that happened recently, something that happened recently, I kept thinking to myself, but nothing quite came to mind.
For now, I contented myself with the memory of calling Totsuka by his first name. That did happen yesterday.
Oh yeah, why was I talking with Totsuka yesterday? As soon as I thought that, I remembered.
It was yesterday. People were talking about their groups for the workplace tour." (Right, and as a logical extension of that thought, Totsuka was cute.)
As soon as I uttered that, Yuigahama came to an abrupt realisation. "Ooooh, that's it. It's because of the groups."
"Huh? Really?" Hayama and I said in unison. At that, Hayama flashed me a smile and said, "We're in synch," although I seriously didn't give a crap.
All I could say was, "Uh, yeah I hope not…"
But paradoxically, Hayama plus Hachiman equals Pretty Boy Riajuu. QED. End of proof. (…did that even add up?) Hayama turned his gaze towards Yuigahama. When he did, Yuigahama laughed sheepishly. "Er, you see, when you make a group for this kind of event, it affects your relationships afterwards. Some people take it really personally…"
Hayama and Yukinoshita looked at the slightly gloomy Yuigahama with puzzlement. Hayama had never been excluded and Yukinoshita had no interest in such things, so neither of them understood.
But I knew what Yuigahama meant. It was because those words came from Yuigahama, who paid attention to others and accepted them all for their bizarre and complicated ways, that I could believe them
Yukinoshita coughed to get the conversation back on track. "Hayama, those messages were written about your friends, you said. Who are you grouping with?"
"Oh, uhhhh… now that you mention it, I haven't decided yet. I guess I'll end up going with someone out of those three."
"I think I know who did it now…" Yuigahama said with a somewhat dejected expression.
"Mind giving us an explanation?" Yukinoshita asked.
"Mmm, well you see, basically, someone who's usually in the group is gonna get excluded, y'know? Only one person from a group of four is gonna get left out. And that person is gonna be super bitter about it." Her voice quivered with emotion.
At that, everyone fell into silence. If we were going to apprehend the culprit, then first we needed to think about their motive. If we could find out just what would make them resort to such an action, then we could naturally deal with them.
Thinking about it in this case, it was probably so that they wouldn't get left out. In our class, Hayama was part of a group of four boys. Therefore, if they had to make a group of three, someone would miss out. Not wanting that to happen, they had no choice but to kick someone out. That was probably what the culprit was thinking.
"…so there's no doubt the culprit is among the three of them."
As soon as Yukinoshita stated that conclusion, Hayama let out a rare outburst. "H‐ hang on a sec! I don't want to think the culprit is among them. And don't the texts say bad things about all three of them? It can't be one of them."
"Huh, are you retarded? Were you born yesterday or something?" I said. "It's obvious they did that so no one would suspect them. If it were me, I would've avoided slandering one of them on purpose to frame them."
"Hikki, that's really horrible…" said Yuigahama.
It's a white‐collar crime. A white‐collar crime, I say.
I shrugged.
Hayama bit his lip in vexation. He had probably never imagined something like this before: that there was hatred right under his nose, or that dark emotions were swirling underneath the smiling veneer of those whom he trusted.
"For now, could you tell us what you know about those three?" Yukinoshita probed Hayama for information.
At that, Hayama looked up with resolve brimming on his face. His belief in his friends remained in his eyes. He probably held on to the lofty belief that he could clear up the suspicion that had been cast on his friends.
"Tobe's in the same soccer club as me. His bleached hair might make him look like a bad guy, but he's the best at getting everyone energised. He always gets involved at the school festival and the sports festival. A nice guy."
"An easily excited person whose only talent is making noise, I see," Yukinoshita declared.
Silence. Hayama was lost for words. Ha. It was funny when it wasn't directed at me.
"Hm? What's wrong? Go on." Yukinoshita gave Hayama a strange look for falling into silence so suddenly.
Regaining his momentum, Hayama launched into his next character description. "Yamato's in the rugby club. He's calm and good at listening. He's a chill guy who puts people at ease by not saying much, I guess? He's the silent, caring type. A nice guy."
"So not only is he slow, he's incapable of making his own decisions… right."
Incapable of mustering any words, Hayama scowled in silence, but then with a resigned sigh, he continued. "Ooka's in the baseball club. He's easy to get along with and he's always helping other people out. He's always polite and respectful to his elders and his juniors. A nice guy."
"An opportunist who worries about his reputation, then."
Hayama wasn't the only one who had been speechless this whole time. Yuigahama opened her mouth vacantly, but no words came out.
Yukinoshita demolished them. As I expected, she was born to be a prosecutor.
But the horrifying thing about this girl was that she was not necessarily incorrect about her character judgments. There were countless different ways one could read a person's character. Hayama always insisted on seeing the good in people, and on that count he was biased. Meanwhile, Yukinoshita rejected such interpretations and so naturally she was harsh. Her problem was that she was too harsh. She'd make Clint Eastwood break down in tears.
Yukinoshita peered at the memo she wrote and groaned. "It wouldn't be strange for any of these people to be the culprit."
"Isn't that because you're the one who thinks the most like a criminal?"
She could see the bad in anyone from just a tiny amount of evidence. In a sense, she was more horrible than the person who wrote the text messages.
Yukinoshita put her hands on her hips with exaggerated fury, but she had an even angrier look on her face. "There is absolutely no way I would do that. If I were doing it, I'd crush my enemy face‐to‐face."
The means were different, but this girl didn't realise that 'crushing your enemy' amounted to the same thing. How very like Yukinoshita not to state the peaceful solution.
Hayama smiled at Yukinoshita with an expression that was angry and regretful and anxious all at once. Yukinoshita had her ways, but Hayama had his ways too. In the end, he could only see her words as trash‐talking. He was a good guy, but his point of view differed too much from ours and he didn't want to rat out his friends.
Yukinoshita seemed to realise this too. "Hayama's descriptions aren't much to go on… Yuigahama, Hikigaya." She turned her inquisitive gaze on us. "What do you think of those boys?"
"Er, th‐there's not much to say…" Yuigahama said.
"I don't really know those guys," I said.
On that note, I didn't really know anyone in the entire school. I didn't have any friends and my number of acquaintances was quite small. Yep, that's me.
"Then could you look into them for me?" Yukinoshita said to Yuigahama. "The groups are being decided the day after tomorrow, correct? We have one day to figure it out."
"…um, okay." A slightly uncomfortable expression came upon Yuigahama's face.
I suppose for Yuigahama, who was trying to get along with everyone in her class, this wasn't an action she was inclined to undertake. You had to be exposed to the very people whose faults you were out to expose. It was a relatively risky action for someone who was part of the community.
Yukinoshita seemed to realise that too because she lowered her eyes gently.
"…sorry, it's not a terribly pleasant thing to do. Please put it out of mind," she insisted.
When she put it like that, anyone would say they'd do it though. Well, that much was obvious.
"I'll do it. I don't really care what my classmates think of me," I said, which caused Yukinoshita to glance at me.
She smiled thinly. "I'm not holding my breath."
"Leave it to me. Finding faults in people is one of my special skills."
"H‐hang on! I'll do it too! I‐I just can't let Hikki handle it on his own!" Yuigahama insisted with a red face. The next instant, she clenched her fists. "And plus! There's no way I can turn down one of Yukinon's requests!"
"…I see," Yukinoshita answered shortly, looking away sharply. Whether because of the sunset glow or her embarrassment, the colour rose on Yukinoshita's cheeks.
But geez, I said I'd do it. Why did this chick treat Yuigahama so differently from me when we both said the exact same thing?
Hayama was watching the two girls with a bright, invigorating smile on his face. "What a nice friendship," he remarked.
"Huh? Yeah. Those two get along."
"So do you, Hikitani."
What the hell was he talking about…? There was no guy named Hikitani in this club.
The next day in class, Yuigahama was all fired up.
Instead of going to her usual place at recess, Yuigahama held out some bread and a canned drink for me. Together, we started our elaborate strategy meeting.
"I'll ask around for now… s‐so you don't have to push yourself, Hikki. In fact, you don't have to do anything at all."
"Oh, cool. Much appreciated. What's got you so motivated…?" I asked. She wasn't taking any half‐measures.
"Th‐this and that, you know? 'C‐cos Yukinon asked me, yeah!"
Her devotion to Yukinoshita was rather touching. Still, I got tired just from watching her. An indescribable sense of unease came over me. "It's good to be motivated, but what are you actually going to do?"
"Hmm, I'm gonna try listening in on the girls talk. When it comes to stuff like the relationships in class, the girls go way more in‐depth. And they get really into it when you bring up someone you both dislike."
"Whoa, girls talk is scary. Damn." The enemy of my enemy is my friend, basically. Who knew they were employing such high‐level tactics…?
"It's nothing evil like that! It's just complaining ‐ or more like exchanging information?"
"Information can only be exchanged. It can't be created or destroyed. That's the second law of quantum mechanics."
"Anyway! You suck at that stuff, Hikki. Just let me do it."
But there was some truth to what Yuigahama said. Honestly, it wasn't in my nature to squeeze information from people by talking to them. More like the moment I talked to them, they'd get suspicious of me. As soon as I asked them a question, they'd ask, "Who are you?" right back at me.
Unlike me, Yuigahama had status in the class and she was well‐liked. Plus, she was sociable. This success of hers was due to having honed her skills since she was small. The skill of looking around restlessly for a place to fit in was a useful one indeed.
"Yeah, you're right… sorry. I'll leave it to you. Good luck!"
"Mmm! Yep!" Yuigahama declared with fighting spirit, before approaching the girls that were friendly with Hayama's group. She walked up to Miura's group. "Sorry I took so long!"
"Oh, Yui. What kept you so long?" Miura, the leader of the group, answered lazily.
"Hey, ya know, Tobecchi, Ooka and Yamato have been so weird lately. They've been kinda all like, you know. I mean‐"
Her aim was poor.
"Huh… so you're the gossiping type, Yui..." said a girl, withdrawing slightly. I think her name was Ebina‐san, maybe.
With a sideway glance, Miura turned on Yui, her eyes sparkling. "Now listen here, Yui. It's not good to be saying that stuff, y'know? It's not good to rat out your friends!" According to those wonderful words, Miura was a shining beacon of goodness.
Or, more accurately, Yuigahama had landed in a situation where she was the bad guy. What was she doing?
Still, Yuigahama did her very best to convince them she was not wrong. "No! You don't get it! I was just, like, interested in them."
"What, you have a crush on one of them?"
"No way! There's someone I'm interested in but… well… huh?!"
At approximately the same time Yuigahama had 'oh crap!' written all over her face, Miura broke out into a knowing smile. "Oho… so there is someone you like, Yui? Spill the beans, sister. Fess up. We can help you out!"
"Like I said! That's not the point! I'm interested in those three, see? Like, I thought they were acting all weird to each other!"
"Oh, that's it? How boring." Miura promptly lost all interest. She opened up her cell phone and started playing with it.
But Ebina‐san was still engaged. "I get it… you're interested as well, Yui… actually, so am I!"
"Yeah, yeah! They're, like, awkward and stuff!"
"I think so too," Ebina‐san declared with a solemn sigh. "The way I see it, Tobecchi is an uke for sure! And Yamato's the self‐assured seme. Oh, and Ooka‐kun's the seductive uke. There's definitely something going on between those three!"
"Oh, you get it," Yuigahama said at first. And then, "…huh?"
"But you know! All three of them are aiming for Hayato for sure! Eeeeek, I get the sense they're all holding back for their friends. I'm drowning in feels!"
Wow, seriously? Who knew Ebina‐san had such an exaggerated persona? Her nose was bleeding.
Yuigahama was left stuttering in utter confusion, while Miura let out a long‐ suffering sigh. "Here we go again. It's Ebina's sickness. Geez, you'd be cute if you kept your mouth shut, so zip it and wipe your nose already."
"Ahahaha…" Yuigahama laughed incredibly awkwardly. When she realised I was watching, she clapped her hands together, signalling her failure. Sorry!
…yeah, not a surprise since her entire approach was off‐track. Even if Ebina‐san wasn't there, it wouldn't have ended well.
So in the end, it was up to me to do it.
But that said, mingling with my classmates and asking around was out of the question for me. So what should I do to get information from people?
The answer was obvious. I'd just do nothing but watch them. If I couldn't engage in conversation ‐ no, because I couldn't engage in conversation, I'd have to use some other means to gather information.
It is said that essentially thirty per cent of all human communication is carried out with language. The other seventy per cent of information we obtain is through eye movements and subtle gestures. The phrase 'a picture speaks a thousand words' comes from the importance of this kind of non‐verbal communication. In other words, even a loner who is incapable of conversing can, through some paradox, pull off seventy percent of what we consider communication. Right? Right?
Carrying out human observation is ridiculously simple:
1) Put on your earphones but turn off the music so that you can focus on your surroundings. 2) Pretend as if you're spacing out, but in reality, pay strict attention to the facial expressions of each member of Hayama's group. That's all.
Hayama and the others were hanging around the window seat. Hayama was leaning against the wall, surrounded by Tobe, Yamato and Ooka.
That actually said quite a lot in itself. It was easy to see that Hayama had the most influence within that group. It was because he had his back against the wall, which covered the most defences, that he was an appropriate king. By all likelihood, they had no idea themselves what they were doing. But it was because they had no self‐awareness and it was therefore all instinct to them that it was a very revealing action.
I could see that all three of them had their pre‐established roles to play.
"Yo, man. Our coach started hitting stray balls to the rugby club! Not good! And they were hard balls too!"
"…yeah, our club advisor flipped his shit."
"What a pain in the ass! Y'know, the rugby team is still good. Our soccer team sucks. Maaan, it's bad. It's really bad when the ball flies out in the outfield. It's fast and furious!"
Ooka set up the joke and Yamato carried it. Then Tobe shouted the punchline. It was like watching a well‐rehearsed play. Shakespeare said, 'All the world's a stage,' but surely you could also say that people only perform the roles that are given to them.
Also, the director and audience of that play was Hayama. Hayama laughed at their stories from time to time, suggested the topic from time to time and got into high spirits along with them from time to time. I realised many things from watching them all: Oh, that guy tutted quietly just now so you wouldn't see it. That guy would shut up whenever the guy next to them started recounting his story. That guy would play with his phone with a bored look on his face and not really get into the topic. Whenever a somewhat dirty joke came up, that guy would smile vaguely ‐ what a pathetic virgin. No doubt about it. Source: me.
…I got the feeling that last bit of information was completely irrelevant.
It didn't seem like there was much to go on. As that thought went through my mind, I sighed.
"'scuse me, sorry," Hayama said as he left his seat and looked in my direction. It seemed I'd been staring so hard at Hayama that he'd noticed. My heart started thumping at the thought one of them would ask 'whatchu lookin' at? You pickin' a fight?' or something like that.
Hayama came up next to me. "What?" I asked gruffly, afraid of my innermost thoughts.
In response, Hayama didn't get particularly pissed off, nor did he grab me by the shirt or demand my loose change. He just smiled brightly. "Oh, I was just wondering if you figured something out."
"Nah…"
The most I'd figured out was that Ebina‐san was a fujoshi and Ooka was a virgin2 . As I thought that, I glanced over at Ooka and the others, only to find a surprising scene unfold.
The three of them were playing with their phones listlessly. And occasionally, they would all glance in Hayama's direction.
The answer hit me at that moment. It was a flash of insight like getting shot in the back of the neck by a gun.
"Did something happen?" Hayama asked, puzzled.
I smirked back at him. "I've solved the entire mystery!"
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-WG
