I got asked what my update schedule looks like. To be honest I'm not sure. I'd like to update every other day. But obviously I can't.

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My phone buzzed on my desk. I stared at it for a moment. I'd been watching melee on my laptop. Taking a break from fractals and the sofa couch problem. Melee was fascinating and unsolvable. And I had to watch Amsa play. You had to root for your local Yoshi main. He was the best player in Japan bar none and he did it playing a low to mid tier. He looked incredible in every matchup. Even against some of the gods of the game. So yeah. Quick break during the tournament. Watching some melee. My phone buzzed again distractingly.

I picked it up.

It was a message from Yuigahama. Or… Yui rather. I guess. I don't know. I'd never called a non-family member girl by their first name before. So… Yui.

Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me. :) Her first text message said.

How is today Hikki?

How was today? Good I guess. I wasn't paranoid and I wasn't experiencing many hallucinations.

Good. I told her. Few hallucinations and paranoid thoughts. And don't sweat your birthday. It was my pleasure to celebrate with you.

She buzzed me back after only a moment.

That's great! I was worried when you told me about your symptoms. She said.

I wouldn't worry so much. I'm not shit, dog.

I want to worry about you. We're friends Hikki. :)

I inhaled deeply. Amsa took the first stock off of Cloud 9's Mango, one of the gods of the game. Mango was mad good. Amsa was seriously maddening to be playing so well with a crazy mid tier character. He had a solid game plan and double jump armored through a back air and punished with a neutral aerial.

Amsa was nuts. I could only imagine how good he'd be if he played a top tier character. His actions per minute were crazy high.

What do you have paranoid thoughts about? She asked me. I panted a little in the humid heat of the summer. I'd never had a girl besides Komachi care about my symptoms and ask like this. It was… uncharted territory to say the least. I wasn't sure if it made me uncomfortable yet. Not yet. But it was borderline. I'd had second thoughts about even telling Yuigah- Yui about my symptoms. I'd had reservations. Now she was poking her nose in deeper and deeper. I wasn't sure it was a good thing. It didn't quite feel like a bad thing per se.

Humanity's future I suppose. I texted back. I think a lot about whether or not we're doomed.

You mean like from climate change? :/ She wondered.

A little. Climate change is a sticky hyper object which could kill us all. It's possible. But it's also possible to mitigate it. We could put solar shades up to shield the Earth from the sun pretty easily. Especially if we sourced material from the moon using robots. More like threats from artificial intelligence or extraterrestrials.

You believe in aliens? 0_o

Probably really far away. The speed of light seems hard to get around if not impossible. But they might destroy themselves too. Maybe that's something intelligent life just does. It destroys itself. We call that the late filter theory of the Fermi Paradox. The Fermi Paradox being the big question that if the universe is so big and ancient where are all the aliens.

I thought the universe was young. :/

It is. We're closer to the beginning of the universe than the end of the universe. We're closer to the beginning of stars than the end of stars. But the universe is billions of years old already. If intelligent life were common and it was possible to colonize the galaxy we should be swimming in alien civilizations. And we're just not. So either intelligent life is uncommon or it's impossible to colonize the galaxy. Both of which are concerning? No?

But why? Why is it concerning?

Because of Azathoth. Whoever was running this experiment. But how to describe the mad alien AI at the center of creation without sounding like a lunatic.

Well it means we might be stuck on Earth. Or doomed to destroy ourselves. The universe is too big and too old to have many alternatives.

Why? 0_o

The universe is just too big. There are hundreds of thousands of stars within a few hundred light years of us. Hundreds of billions in the Milkyway. We should be able to hear something. Should be able to see something in the neighboring galaxies. But nothing? Nothing at all? We live in the most densely populated place for hundreds of thousands of light years. It's hard.

Sounds like too big of a problem Hikki… :/

There's no such thing as too big of a problem. Only too small of a mind. Which may be true. Maybe my mind is too small to truly understand.

Do you believe in god Hikki?

I do. Just not a particularly nice one. Sort of the old testament kind of wrathful and vindictive god.

Old testament?

From the christian bible or hebrew torah. God is cruel. Or else I wouldn't exist. Or else my existence would be comfortable. And god doesn't believe in spreading life around. Otherwise space would be crawling with it. Instead space seems empty and dead.

That's so sad. :(

Well… I hesitated before pressing send. I backed up and deleted what I had so far. My life isn't comfortable. I have my sister. I have you and Saika.

You have Yukinon too. :)

I hesitated again. Did I have Yukinoshita? She wasn't a friend. She made that clear.

Yukinoshita and I aren't friends. I wrote.

Why not?

Ask her. I offered but she turned me down.

Well maybe in the past but not you could be friends. People change.

I watched Amsa lose his match against Mango. It was close. Amsa put on a hell of a show but he was no match for Mango's space animals, Fox and Falco. Mango was just too much with his shines. They both fist bumped good naturedly and stood to wrap their controllers up. It was a shame Leffen couldn't make it to this tournament. I'd have liked to see him play but he couldn't get a visa to get into the states. Not like Amsa managed.

I wanted to see Leffen's Sheik. He picked up the character exclusively to deal with Zain's Marth. Zane was a monster who it seemed only the old gods of the game could stand a chance of stopping. It made me think about how good at our video games aliens would be. Hyper fast genetically modified creatures with cybernetic enhancements and crazy fast reflexes. They'd never slip up and be able to analyze their opponents play style off of basically nothing. They could be here. Playing video games like melee with us online. It was possible. It might be one of the only reasons they would visit. They wouldn't be interested in our math or science. They'd be transcendental in that regard.

I looked back at my phone. Yukinoshita isn't the type to change like that. She assured me it was quite impossible for us to be friends. She's frankly lucky she's so cute to be so rude.

You think she's cute?

Of course. I think she's a real stunner. She's too good for me and knows it.

What about me, Hikki?

What about her? I was a little confused. Was she asking if I thought that she was cute? She was. And she was sweet. Which was vastly more important than being cute. You're cute too. I wrote. And sweet. I double texted.

You really think so?

Yeah I do.

Not as cute as Yukinon though.

Well… that was true enough I suppose. I thought they were cute in different ways. Yukinoshita was a bit of a bitch. Yukinoshita is a total bitch though. I texted.

You really think that about her? 0_o

Yeah, I mean. She is. She's sweet to you. But not to me. We have different views of her because of that.

What would you do if she was sweet to you? Yui asked.

I don't know. I don't think that's in the cards for her. I suppose I'd be nice back. But like I said, not in the cards.

The next match was starting. N0ne vs 2Saint. N0ne played captain falcon and 2saint played Jigglypuff. Should be an interesting match. N0ne had never beaten the best Jigglypuff main in the world, Hungrybox, to my knowledge. That didn't make him bad at the matchup. Hungrybox was just another one of the gods of the game. He was the uncontested best in the world for years. Now coming back the pressure was on to see if he could rise to his old status. 2Saint was more aggressive than Hungrybox. Less patient. Played fewer mind games. It should be a good watch.

I witnessed N0ne knee 2Saint across the stage for a kill off a grab. It was a bread and butter confirm. The sort that was hard to land on Hungrybox because it was hard to catch Hungrybox's landings with something like a grab. He walled with back airs too effectively.

Would you still talk to me if Yukinon was sweet to you? Yui wondered.

I think so. I don't have many friends and I'm happy to count you as one of them. I think I still would even if I was friends with Yukinoshita too. But I'm just not. And I'm willing to bet that that something which is kinda my fault.

What do you mean?

I watched 2Saint land a rest on N0ne in a reaction tech chase. It was a good kill. Hard to land.

Well I'm not the social type. Maybe if I was then Yukinoshita would be friends with me. Maybe if I was a better person. But I'm not. I'm something of an asshole myself. I know that.

You really think you're a bad person?

I'm not a good person. I don't know if I'm a bad person.

I don't think you're a bad person Hikki. Just a little mixed up. :)

Well thank you Yui.

I meant it too. 2Saint forward smashed N0ne for another kill but he was down in the set. He needed to make plays to stop from being run over. N0ne was fast and had a very read based play style. It was coming out to be too much for the Jigglypuff main.

So what are you up to today Hikki?

Watching some esports. Super smash brothers melee. I can't play myself but I appreciate the talent that comes with it.

So you're busy? She asked.

Not really. I can watch the vods any time.

Would you like to hang out? Maybe meet up?

I hesitated. I could do that. Hanging out. With a friend. It was doable. But…

Komachi is busy. It would just be me. I wrote.

That's fine. I don't really mind.

Okay. What would we do?

Do you like coffee Hikki?

I did like coffee. I very much liked coffee.

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I was waiting at a little cafe near my house. Bike riding distance. I chained my bike up. I wiped my brow. It was humid as fuck and hot on top of that. I was sweating a little from riding my bike.

"Yahallo! Hikki! You came!"

"Of course I did. Don't be ridiculous." I turned to face Yui. She was wearing a cute loose little cardigan and shorts. Her white shirt had a low collar. And around that collar was the 'necklace' I'd given her. I resolved not to mention that. "I told you I would. I'm a man of my word." I purred in an attempt to be a creep. She brushed it off easily.

"Well thanks anyway. When I saw you waiting I got worried I was late."

"No you're on time." I shook my head.

We walked into the cafe together and I got the door for her. She beamed a little. I pulled my earbud out of my left ear and picked at a bug crawling around inside and making me itch. My hallucinations were low. Not gone. Never gone.

I paused my music with a touch of the buttons on the wire.

It was a touch crowded inside. Not super busy but busy enough. There were enough people to make my skin crawl.

"I've never been here before." I confessed.

"Really? I picked it because it was rather close to both of us."

"I usually make my own coffee at home in a little cold brew device."

"So you drink it cold?" She wondered.

"Usually. I prefer it cold. Reduces the amount of entropy produced when I make it."

"What's entropy Hikki?"

"Waste. There's a little chaos created for every bit of order we make in this universe. A little waste heat. A little information lost. No engine can be more efficient than the Carnot Heat Engine which relies on a hot and a cold reservoir to perform work. But there's always a little loss."

"Oh? Like what is it called? The uncertainty principle?" I looked at her. It was impossible that she'd heard of that. At my look she expanded. "I've heard of it but don't really understand it." I bobbed my head in understanding.

"They're related a little. The loss of information on the quantum level due to the uncertainty principle is a little like entropy. But other than that they are two separate concepts. Both the generalized uncertainty principle and the quantum one. The point of the uncertainty principle is that the effects of an experiment cannot be predicted even if everything is known about the system. There's a little chaos at work there. Not unlike entropy. But that's not the heart of entropy. The heart of entropy is heat and loss."

"I see…" I wasn't sure that she did but maybe I'd enlightened her a little. She was a good listener. "And that's why you drink your coffee cold? Because it keeps the universe a little more orderly?"

"A little. I also just think I like it cold. But you?"

"Me?" She wondered.

"How do you take your coffee?" I pressed.

"Oh I like it warm but maybe not in this heat. I can see the appeal of a cold drink right about now."

We walked up to the bar. I ordered my ice coffee. A little cream and sugar. Coffee deserved to be sweet. I hate to sound like a broken record but life was bitter enough.

Yui imitated me and I paid for both our drinks over her protest. "Hey! This is the second time you've bought me coffee."

"It's nothing. Just a couple hundred yen."

"Well t-t-thanks I guess."

"Like I said it was nothing."

She had something with ice in it. A frappuccino with plenty of vanilla. It looked like a milkshake to me. I'd never be caught dead drinking something like that but she was a cute girl and could get away with it. I just couldn't but some things were like that. Like being allergic to something. Or maybe like my relationship with alcohol. I really shouldn't ever drink. It can be activating because it's such a strong depressant. Some things were just off limits. Besides, it took quite a bit of alcohol for me to feel anything. Not like coffee. I took a sip and felt the pleasant buzz of caffeine.

Yui took her own deeper drink and sighed. She held the cup to her forehead to try and beat the heat and I chuckled at her. "Why does it have to be so hot?" She whined. I laughed a little harder.

"That's life in such a temperate area as Japan. It could be worse. We could be in Hawaii or some place really tropical. And at any rate we should expect the temperatures and storms to get worse due to anthropogenic climate change."

"Anthropogenic?

"Human caused."

"Ah. I understand."

I took a seat and Yui sat down diagonally across from me. I chose a spot directly under an air conditioning vent. Yui sighed in a little relief. "So you think man made climate change will get bad?"

"I think it's possible it could cause a total breakdown of society as animals start going extinct. It probably won't wipe us out but it's possible. We're pretty clever and resourceful. Our societies just aren't. Even if you can see a problem in them they can be hard to change."

"Like our dependence on fossil fuels." She nodded.

"Exactly. Societies have momentum. They can be hard to change in their direction. Like everything else they have inertia."

It was quiet for a moment after that. I took a drink.

"So have you and Yukinoshita baked anything yet?" I asked.

"Oh right! I have something for you." She handed me some wiesn-herz in a little red bag from inside her bag. Gingerbread heart shaped cookies.

"Oh. Thank you."

"Yukinon and I made them. I can't believe her sometimes."

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"Well, with that strip poker game. She really would have done it. Wouldn't she have? She really would have taken her shirt off."

"Yeah. I suppose she would have. She's confident. That's for sure."

"I just can't believe her. Were you disappointed you didn't get to see her without a shirt?"

"Not really…" I already saw Yui and Yukinoshita changing that one time. "Yukinoshita doesn't have much of a chest."

"So that's your only reason?" She demanded.

"I mean… should I say I wanted to see her humiliate herself?"

"Well I suppose not. But you are a guy, though. Are you… are you even interested in - well, girls?"

"I think so."

"You think so?!"

"I'm pretty sure. I could always wake up one day and realize some pretty crazy stuff about myself. But I think I like girls. Pretty sure. I think that Yukinoshita and you, Yui, are cute. So I think I like girls."

"I guess that makes sense. I mean I like guys but I think Yujkinoshita is cute too."

"You might be a little bit gay," I inormed her, thinking of Saika.

"What do you mean?! Isn't it obvious she's cute?!"

"Well what if I said Saika was cute?"

"I'd say… I'd say you're a little bit gay. I guess. But with Sai-chan he's absolutely adorable so I guess it's not super gay. But it is a little bit gay."

"So isn't it the same with you and Yukinoshita? You might be a little bit gay. Nothing wrong with that. But you might be."

"Okay. Okay. I guess I hear that. I might be a little bit gay," she whispered. "Do you really think Sai-chan is cute?"

"A little. He is pretty feminine."

Yui whined. "But it isn't like Yuiknon is handsome. She's pretty feminine too."

"Yeah she is," I hammered. Yui whined again. She took a long drink of her milkshake. "Do you think any other girls besides Yukinoshita are cute?" I pressed.

"Well… a little. Kawasaki is pretty. So is Miura."

"I have some news for you Yui." I brutalized her. "You might be more gay than I am."

"But Sai-chan is adorable. Are you attracted to any other guys?"

"Not really. Though I don't know many people. I don't think I like guys. I like Saika but that's Saika."

Yui whined a third time. I grinned a little at her distress. "Do you stare at girls sometimes, Yui?"

"I mean… doesn't everyone?" She looked at me pleadingly.

"I do. But I like girls," I nodded along. Yui slammed back her shake. She looked thirsty. "Don't worry Yui. I'll never tell."

She gave me a grateful look. "Promise?"

"I promise." I agreed with a smirk.

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-WG