pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq

I dreamed softly. I desperately raced after the dream and tried to catch it. It slipped through my metaphorical fingers again and again and I plummeted downwards over and over.

"Hachiman?"

"Mmph?" I managed to reply to that soft angelic voice.

"Hachiman!"

"Huh? What? What is it?" I sat up on my futon and glanced at Saika who was addressing me.

"You weren't aware?" He looked away.

"Weren't aware of what?" I asked.

"You convulse terribly in your sleep. I thought you were having a nightmare."

"Oh. Thanks I guess." I responded. "Waking up to your voice is much more pleasant than whatever I was dreaming. Thanks for that."

"Hachiman… you didn't know you were convulsing?"

"How could I?" I asked. "I can't see myself sleeping."

"It looked agonizing."

"It wasn't so bad. I don't really remember but it wasn't awful. Where's Tobe and Hayama?"

"They are already gone. They went on ahead. You didn't look like you were gonna wake up anytime soon, Hachiman…" he gave me a long look. I gazed right back into his eyes and when someone looked away bashfully it wasn't I.

"My bad," I apologized.

"Don't be sorry," he pouted. "You know, Hachiman, your schedule's really out of whack during summer vacation."

"Y-yeah. Er, I guess."

"You don't exercise or anything."

"Yeah that's right. I don't really get the urge. It's hot after all."

"Isn't that bad for your body? You should do some kind of sp‐ oh, I know. Let's play tennis sometime," Totsuka suggested brightly.

"Oh, you wanna do that, huh? Call me when you get around to it." I blurted out the stereotypical line people always say when they're invited to things. When you exist on the fringe of society, I guess people end up asking you just to be polite.

"Okay, you said it! I'll definitely call you!"

Call me anytime Saika. I'll take the time to make the time for you. I purred in thought.

"Right, shall we go eat, then?" I asked.

"Sure. Er, uh… I don't know your mail address, Hachiman…"

Oh, right. It slipped my mind since I'd been using my cell phone as a time‐waster and an alarm clock, but Totsuka and I still hadn't exchanged mail addresses.

So I could now finally obtain Totsuka's mail address, huh…?

With a rush of feelings, I took out my phone and instantly accessed the register screen.

"Huh?! H‐Hachiman, why are you crying?!"

"Oh, it's nothing. Just a yawn."

It seemed I'd been moved to tears.

"Oh, right. You only just got up. Okay, tell me your address."

"Here."

I showed him my address.

"Er, uh…" Totsuka held up my phone against his and punched in the letters one at a time, as if he wasn't particularly adept with machines. I was slightly worried about how he muttered things like, "Oh, huh? Is this right? Like this?" from time to time as he pressed away.

If he made a mistake recording my address and his texts didn't reach me, there would be no end to my sorrow.

"Okay, done… I think. I'll send you a test message," Saika said as he once again started pressing away at his phone at an agonisingly slow pace. In the meantime, he tilted his head and then nodded once he'd thought it through a little. "I sent it."

"Ohh, thanks." A few seconds after he said that to me, my phone beeped. Achievement unlocked: Totsuka's address! I could pump my fist in the air.

Man, this was great. Now all I need to do is save his number, I thought as I opened the incoming text.

Subject: hi this is saika

Body: hachiman, good morning. this is my first text. lets be even better friends from now on!

As soon as my eyes fell on that string of letters, something incredible happened to my heart. Without any warning, I fell into a violent coughing fit.

"Hkkkkk! Gaaaaaah!"

"Hachiman?! W‐what's wrong?! Are you okay?!" Saika started thumping my back in a frenzy. Waah, even though his hand was so small, it felt so soft and warm…

"I‐I'm okay now…"

"That's good to hear…"

Once I was finally back on my feet, Totsuka gazed at me as if he wasn't quite convinced by what I said. In order to distract him, I smiled at him brightly.

"Okay, now let's have breakfast."

"Oh, okay."

I pushed Saika's back to urge him on as I walked along. I'm quite sure he'd been thinking about the contents of his text when he tilted his head just before. Totsuka's literary talent was seriously impressive if he could make such a plain message drip with cuteness.

Someone give him a medal.

Anyway, time to preserve this message for posterity. Also, time to set a specialised ring tone for whenever I receive a text from Saika and make a Saika‐only folder too. I should put backups on my PC just in case.

There was no longer any trace of elementary schoolers in the dining hall of the visitor house. Only Hiratsuka‐sensei and the usual suspects were present.

"Good morning."

"Mm. Morning," Hiratsuka‐sensei answered as she brought down her newspaper with a loud thwack.

When Totsuka and I sat down on a pair of empty seats, Yuigahama was right in our faces. "Oh, Hikki. Good morning!"

"Mmm."

Yui gave me a generic 'good morning'. Somehow or other, I could tell 'Yahallo' wasn't a morning greeting. Maybe you were supposed to use it after midday. Yui sat next to Yukinoshita, who sat next to Komachi.

Komachi greeted us as well, only to spring to her feet and hurry off somewhere right afterwards. As for Yukinoshita, she exchanged greetings with Totsuka before casting her eyes on me. "Good morning. So you woke up after all…"

"Hey, quit lowering your eyes like you're disappointed. Good morning," I responded with a stiff greeting.

I got the feeling I ranked lower than slime in her eyes. What else is new? Someone placed a tray before me with a clang.

"Hiii, sorry to keep you waiting. Here's one for Totsuka‐san too!" It seemed Komachi had gone to get breakfast for us.

"Thank you."

"Th‐thanks… okay, itadakimasu," Totsuka said.

Following his lead, I clapped my hands together. We weren't really doing a drill or anything – just the standard blessing before a meal. "Itadakimasu."

I tucked into the whit erice, miso soup, fried fish and salad, omelettes, natto, seaweed flavouring, spices, and orange for dessert. I didn't always eat breakfast. Yeah yeah most important meal of the day. But for me it was usually black coffee on an empty stomach. Sometimes I threw something together for my sister but that wasn't every day. I ate a decent lunch, though. Usually. You couldn't have everything.

Komachi called out to me. "Big brother you want seconds?"

"Sure," I passed my bowl over. Yui was the one who took it. I stared at her.

"I-I'll do it for you." She wrinkled her nose as she passed by me. "You still smell a little like cigarette smoke." She complained.

"I'll let them know at the next meeting," I replied. "Your complaint has been registered. Thanks."

"Hikki…"

"It was just a fucking cigarette. I'm not a nicotine addict."

"What are you trying to say?" Hiratsuka-sensei's eyes narrowed.

"Only that it isn't my favorite," I returned quickly. "No marks against you sensei. Wouldn't dream of it."

"Spineless," Yukinoshita glowered. "But you do have other favorites?"

"Favorite whats?" I demanded.

"Drugs."

"Caffeine."

"Hmm."

"Here you go Hikki." Yui placed my bowl back in front of me.

"Thank you Yui."

"No problem."

"Hmph," Yukinoshita rolled her eyes. "You really shouldn't coddle the man Yuigahama."

"Thanks for calling me a man," I muttered.

"Well it was just the once!" Yui defended.

Now that everyone had eaten their fill of breakfast, I washed my meal down by sipping on some tea. Just like me, Totsuka gave his compliments to the chef and reached out for the tea at a somewhat languid pace.

As we were chatting away idly about stuff that happened yesterday and what would happen today, Hiratsuka‐sensei started folding up her newspaper. "Now that breakfast is over and done with, let's talk about our plans for today." She swallowed a mouthful of tea and continued. "The elementary schoolers have free time for the day. The test of courage and camp fire are scheduled for tonight. I want you to prepare for that."

I sighed. "A camp fire, huh?" I scrunched up my face at that unpleasant phrase.

"Ah, that's when you do the folk dance," Yui blurted out as if something had just occurred to her.

As soon as she heard that, Komachi's face lit up with a ping. "Ohh! You do the Bentora Bentora dance!"

"You mean the Oklahoma Mixer, I take it… but only the last syllable sounds the same," Yukinoshita said, not looking particularly surprised nor mortified at the error.

"They aren't so different… your dance partner is pretty much alien."

"Couldn't you have said that in a nicer way, Hachiman…?"

Saika said reprovingly. But he was wrong. I had my reasons!

"Nah, I think that's how it is." I took a deep breath. "It starts off fine. But around the fourth time, the girl says, 'We don't really need to hold hands, ya know,' and then all the girls after that follow her lead and you end up doing an Air Oklahoma…"

"Hikigaya, your eyes are rotten… well, those eyes are perfect for the monster role. I'm counting on you for the test of courage preparations."

"So does that mean our job is to scare the kids?" Well, that was on the outdoor school's itinerary.

"Yep. I mean, the course has already been decided and we've got a set of monster costumes ready. Well, you'd best give them a try beforehand. Now then, let's get going and I'll explain how we'll go about the preparations." Hiratsuka‐sensei stood up. We tidied up our tableware too and followed her outside.

pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq

After setting up the fire we were given free time. I lounged back and pulled up the paper on the prime numbers. The one that got them down to being four apart infinitely often by assuming the Riemann Hypothesis. I was trying to understand but the prime numbers were unintuitive. I had no idea how Euler had done his little theorems on the primes pi products. Yeah, I got the gamma function, but the Zeta function? Forget about it. It was beyond me at the moment. And that was fine. A lot of things were beyond me. Yang Mills. Gravity. But just because i didn't understand something now didn't mean I never would.

I browsed the english pdf on my phone and tried to make heads or tails of the theorems. Undoubtedly if I ever wanted to prove the twin prime conjecture I'd need these theorems. Or at the very least something like them.

Hayama went back to the lodge so I wandered away from there wanting to be alone. I hummed as I worked. Well, 'worked'. This was just leisure time. I wasn't doing any serious business. I had none of my tools with me except my phone. My laptop or textbooks for one. I couldn't recall the exact Fredholm alternative and there was little point to memorizing it when it could be googled on a whim. But still without my tools I was up a creek.

Speaking of creeks I found one. The water was clear and bubbled along softly. I thought of viscous flow and Navier Stokes. One of the big seven. Half of it had been solved by Terrance Tao. Existence but not uniqueness of all functions produced. It was a shame too because uniqueness implied existence but existence did not imply uniqueness. He had the map backwards, Matt.

Gazing at the water's brilliant reflection, I walked along the riverbed and‐

"How coooold!"

"This feels great!"

In the quiet forest, I could hear high‐pitched voices shouting in glee.

I cast my eyes upwards and made out Komachi and Yui in swimsuits frolicking in the water.

"Oh, big brother. Hey, hey! Over here!"

"...huh? Hikki?"

"Hey," I greeted casually.

Komachi splashed me with a shout. I spluttered cold water out of my mouth and wiped my face. My hair was wet now. I glared at her but she just beamed up at me. I couldn't get mad at her.

"What's up with the swimsuits? What's up?" I asked.

Yui was hiding behind Komachi.

"It felt hot doing those preparations so we took a dip," my sister answered.

"As for the swimsuits Hiratsuka-sensei said we could play in the river… wait, why are you here Hikki?"

Yui answered my question with her own question and was still cowering behind Komachi as if she was embarrassed about her swimsuit two piece.

"Who cares?" Komachi cut me off before I could answer. "Look big brother! Check out my new swimsuit!"

Komachi flourished and posed. I rolled my eyes but patted her head. "Very cute."

"Don't be half-assed! A girl just knows."

"Okay okay. You're drop dead gorgeous. All the dudes will want you."

"That's even more half-assed! What about Yui-san?" Komachi's eyes glimmered like she had a secret prepared.

"Hey! Komachi-chan! Eek!" With a sudden jerk Komachi pulled Yui out from behind her back. Yui wobbled in front of me. Her swimsuit was vivid blue and she played with her hair shyly and smoothed over her bikini skirt. Her silky smooth skin matched her bikini's vivid hue, reflecting the sunlight. Droplets of water slid off her glossy skin, remnants of her aquatic play time. My eyes registered the elegant curves tracing her nape, stopped for a moment at the gap of her collarbone, before travelling to her ample bosom. I stared at her for a moment and met her eye. She met my own gaze blushing fiercely.

"Looks very nice," I murmured softly. When did we get so close again? Ouch?

She wrinkled her nose. "You still smell like smoke."

"I haven't showered or bathed since the last time you smelled me. Of course I still smell like smoke."

"It's an icky yucky smell."

"Yeah well what can you do?" I asked rehtorically.

"Not smoke."

"I'll pick up a juul pod and vaporizer. Smell fresh as a daisy but with more nicotine."

"Such a disgusting habit."

I turned around to meet the new voice. Yukinoshita Yukino appeared to me as snow personified. Translucent white skin; long and beautiful legs that extended from her shapely calves to her hips. A surprisingly narrow waistline and a modest yet still eye-snatching bosom.

"Your complaints will be brought up at the next meeting," I groused. "For now the board is adjourned."

"What's this? You came too, Hikigaya?" Someone tapped my shoulder.

When I turned around, Hiratsuka‐sensei was in front of me. Miura and Ebina‐san tagged along behind her.

Hiratsuka‐sensei was clad in a bewitching white bikini, displaying her long legs and ample chest for all the world to see. With her supple limbs and well‐shaped navel, you could see she gave off a rough, athletic sort of appeal.

"Way to go, Hiratsuka‐sensei! You could actually pass for someone around thirty!"

"…I'm still a shining beacon of someone around thirty. Suck it up and deal with it. I'll splatter your guts!"

"Fuck!" I swore as she hit me in the gut.

"Language!"

Miura was wearing a fluorescent‐purple bikini made of lamé. Her eyes were flashing and her figure was close to pitch‐perfect, befitting of a queen. It probably took a lot of effort to become such a rare beauty, I'd imagine. She took confident steps, built upon the foundations of her hard work. Her pride magnified her charm even further.

Ebina‐san, on the other hand, was wearing a competitive swimsuit of all things. The navy blue swimsuit, designed for efficiency, suited Ebina‐san's slim body and somewhat graceful curves. The shoulder cord that crossed her back emphasised the beauty of her shoulder blades.

As she passed Yukinoshita, Miura glanced sideways at Yukinoshita's chest. Her entire face lit up with a smile.

"Heh, I won…" Her voice held something resembling excitement.

At that, Yukinoshita's expression became rather puzzled. "Hm? What was that?" Yukinoshita didn't seem to have any idea why Miura smiled, but I could take a wild guess. "Oh, ohh. I see now…"

At times like these I was probably supposed to clap her on the shoulder and offer her encouragement, but, well, I was kind of nervous about touching her bare shoulder. I mean, my hand might start sweating.

But if she took after her sister she was just a late bloomer and it wasn't a big deal.

At that point, Komachi cut in. "Yukino‐san, it's okay!" She gave her the thumbs up. "That doesn't determine a girl's value – there's the personal element! I'm on your side, Yukino‐san!"

"Uh‐huh… thank you very much…" Yukinoshita thanked her somewhat shyly, even as she remained perplexed. "Value… personal element…" she repeated as though deep in thought. "...ah!"

She turned and glared at me. What? Why me? Miura was the one who said something! I held up my hands in surrender. She seemed to take that as something because she looked away with her face flushed red. It was a good look on her.

"I'll have you know it really doesn't bother me in the slightest, but one shouldn't determine a person's victory or loss by such superficial traits, and if you were to insist on judging a person by their cover, then you ought to do it tête‐à‐tête and take the entire body balance into account as most people do it. That's why, far from bothering me, it's really a matter of who the true victor is here," Yukinoshita said vehemently.

A faint blush came over her cheeks, perhaps due to her fury.

Hiratsuka‐sensei clapped her shoulder. "Yukinoshita, it's not yet time to give up."

Yui joined in with a shower of praise. "You're super pretty, Yukinon, so don't let it get to you!"

"I believe I said it wasn't getting to me…" Yukinoshita remained aloof and detached even when the two of them attempted to console her, but she still kept glancing at Hiratsuka‐sensei's and Yuigahama's breasts. "I'm not bothered over it," she muttered feebly, letting out an almost inaudible sigh.

"It isn't a big deal. It's more about the ratio." I insisted. She met my gaze. "Guys aren't actually like that."

"Is that so…?"

"Pretty much."

"First you say one thing and then another…"

"You're very proportional Yukinoshita. I wouldn't sweat it."

"Yo man, get hyped!"

"Oh, Hikitani‐kun, you came." I grunted.

"Yeah, I sorta ended up here."

Hayama and Tobe were in swimsuits. They were, you know, normal swimsuits. Nothing much to see here, I thought, about to look away. At that moment, I noticed Saika standing behind the two of them. Totsuka sprang out in front of me.

"Hachiman, don't you have a swimsuit?"

"S-Saika!"

He was absolutely radiant, from his small tiptoes, ankles, calves and thighs, to his pale skin. His white parker seemed slightly too big for him. Thanks to its size and blinding whiteness, it looked like he was wearing a white shirt over his naked body – hot damn. When I caught sight of him clenching his slender hands underneath his three‐ quarter sleeves, my heart clenched too. The clothes maketh the man. And yet his charm was further accentuated by what remained hidden.

"What's wrong?"

Sometimes, denseness was a crime. When he tilted his head so cutely in that outfit, my heart beat several times faster.

"Er, that jacket…"

"Oh, this? It's because my skin's kinda weak. I can't let my body get too cold," he said as he drew the shirt against his chest.

Oh no, I couldn't not look.

"I‐I see… best not to get a cold when you're enjoying your free time."

"Yep, thanks!" Saika said as he sprinted off towards the river.

Come on Hachiman Hikigaya. Get it together. Hikigaya more like Hiki-gay-a. In front of Saika I really was just a queer.

I sat and pulled my phone back out of my pocket. Something distracting please and thank you.

pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq

-WG