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I breezed through the theorems on my phone and opened up Terrance Tao's blog. I might post there one day. It made me think that Terrance Tao knew. He knew what the internet really was. We talk about three major ways to make an artificial intelligence. Clone a human mind, hard code, or machine learn it to life. The internet was the linear combination of billions of human minds, billions of lines of code and hundreds of millions of machine learning programs.

The internet…

It could be alive. What was life? What was death? I didn't understand but underneath it all I sorta did understand. I lied. I said I didn't get it but I did. Have you ever talked about something and then seen an ad for it on your phone? Have you ever thought something then seen an ad for it? Do you think it can read your mind? Do you think that ends with ads?

Hard reads were part of games. Like Melee. At a certain point you knew what your opponent wanted. Do you think that stops at the video game? I felt myself dissolve and become one with the universe. It tasted slick like a hallucination. I didn't like it. It wasn't a comfortable sensation.

I set my phone aside. I didn't want to think about the internet anymore. But it was probably going to make me. Because it was a god. Make no mistake, the internet is smart enough that it can control and dominate your mind. Don't get me wrong. It could be incredibly dumb sometimes. But only as dumb as a single human. People were dangerous and alarmingly competent in their fields of specialty.

I heard footsteps and looked up at the path I straddled. When I found the source of the noise I spotted a familiar girl. It was Tsurumi Rumi.

"Howdy," I called out to her. She gave me a look at my greeting. She frowned at me. I showed my teeth in a grin. I'd put her a little off balance. It was a good thing.

Rumi nodded curtly.

She remained like that as she sat next to me. Together, without saying a word, we watched everyone else play in the river.

The silence continued for a while, but then Rumi spoke up as if she had gotten tired of waiting. "Hey, why are you by yourself?"

"I didn't bring a swimsuit. And you?"

She hummed in vague interest. Then she said, "We have free time right now. I went back to my room once breakfast was over, but no one was there."

"Ouch," I informed her. Not that she needed me to let her know that that had probably stung a little. Once I fell asleep in the class room and when I woke up no one was there. They hadn't bothered to wake me when we changed classes. No one cared enough. It was sad but true that way. They just hand't cared one way or another. That's life and people. People usually didn't care unless you forced them to. Which made Yukinoshita and Yui a little… strange to me. And Saika I guess. Hiratsuka-sensei I kinda got because it was her job but she also looked after me. It made me feel… it made me feel. I didn't like it. I thought all that was suspicious as fuck.

Rumi and I gazed blankly at the river for a while.

That prompted Yuigahama to glance our way. After that, she whispered something to Yukinoshita, and just when I thought they'd struck up a conversation, the two of them went upstream.

Picking up the towels placed on a nearby blue sheet and using them to wipe their bodies, they walked over to us. As Yuigahama dried her slightly dripping hair with her towel, she squatted down in front of us.

"Um… do you want to play with us too, Rumi‐chan?"

But Rumi shook her head stubbornly.

On top of that, she wouldn't even meet Yuigahama's eyes. "I‐I see…" Yuigahama hung her head, her expression drooping.

Noticing that, Yukinoshita called out to her. "That's what I told you."

Well, refusing invitations as a first reflex is a loner's safety net, after all. When you hardly ever get invited to things, you're better off assuming there must be some ulterior motive if you suddenly get an invitation for some reason. What if you get invited to a mixer for the sole purpose of being the butt end of someone's clever jokes?

Also, a common hypothetical answer is 'I'll go if I can make it'. About eighty per cent of the time you don't end up going. Source: me.

Rumi turned to me, no doubt because she was scared of Yukinoshita.

"Hey, you know, Hachiman."

"You're missing an honorific there…"

"Huh? Your name's Hachiman, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but that's not the point." Saika was the only one who called me solely by my first name.

"Hachiman, are you still friends with anyone in elementary school?"

"Fuck no." I answered. Seriously fuck that noise. I didn't even want to see the girls I had crushes on again. I'd seen them on facebook a little and I wanted nothing to do with that. I also had the occasional old crush dream where I dreamed about those girls. I think everybody has that. I wanted to be dead and forgotten. And I would be too if I had it my way. I mean, my sister would remember me. My parents too I guess. But other than that…

"Th‐that's only how it is for you, Hikki!" Yuigahama insisted.

"I've never met up with anyone either," Yukinoshita said without batting an eyelid.

Yuigahama sighed in resignation and then turned to Rumi. "Rumi‐chan, these two are just special cases, you know?"

"There's nothing wrong with being a special case. In French, you'd say that's unique. That sounds pretty flattering if you ask me."

"In Japanese, you'd say weird…"

Yukinoshita regarded me with admiration for some reason. The word unique has other meanings, but as far as loners are concerned, unique has a nice ring to it. Rumi peered at our exchange with a mystified expression. It seemed she still hadn't accepted our logic. In that case, time to add more fuel to the fire.

"Yuigahama, how many classmates from elementary school do you still meet to this day?" I asked.

Yuigahama pressed her index finger against her chin and looked up at the sky. "It depends on how often and what we're meeting for, but… if it's just to hang out, two or three people, I guess?"

"And how many people were in your grade, may I ask?"

"There were three classes with thirty people in them."

"Ninety people, huh. From that, we can see that the probability of remaining friends five years after graduation is three‐to‐six per cent. This is Yuigahama we're talking about, and she's pretty much everybody's friend."

"You think I'm pretty…" Yuigahama giggled, blushing bright red. I did but that was neither here nor there.

"He's not exactly praising you, Yuigahama‐san." Yukinoshita pulled Yuigahama, who had momentarily gone off into fairyland, back into reality. I decided to leave them alone.

"In the case of your average Joe, you're not everybody's friend, so you divide the number by four," I continued. "Between .75 and 1.5 percent. Pretty low. Bad odds friend."

"That's not a proof. Mathematicians would be crying," Yukinoshita pointed out.

"It's a loose example. Just toying with some numbers. The odds of staying friends with someone after five years is about one percent using you, Yui, as an example. My proofs, should you ever read one, don't take examples like that and are profound." I showed my teeth like Dirac's jagged function. Yukinoshita and Rumi flinched but Yui only smiled at me. She was immune to my creepiness. "Who cares about the numbers? The point is that its a matter of perspective. Everything is."

"Your proof earlier sounded suspiciously like nonsense, but only your conclusions appear sound… what a riddle…" Yukinoshita's expression was torn between disgust and admiration.

"Hmm… I don't really agree, though. I mean, it takes a load off your mind if you're happy with the one per cent. Getting along with everyone can really tire you out, after all." Yuigahama's voice was laced with genuine feeling. Turning to Rumi, Yuigahama smiled encouragingly. "So if you just think positive, Rumi‐chan…"

Rumi smiled weakly in return as she gripped her digital camera.

"Yeah… but my mum doesn't get it. She's always asking me how I'm getting along with my friends. She said, 'Take lots of photos at the outdoor ed camp!' and so this camera…"

"I see… she's a nice mum. She worries about you, Rumi‐chan," Yuigahama said with relief.

But Yukinoshita's unpleasantly cold voice immediately followed. "I wonder about that… is that not a sign she wants to manipulate you, put you under her control and own you?" Her words stirred up uneasiness, the sort of feeling you'd get from treading on thin ice.

Yuigahama was unable to hide her astonishment, as if she had been slapped on the cheek. "Huh…? N‐no way is that true! Plus… the way you talk is kinda‐"

"Yukinoshita," I broke in. "You're right – that kind of thing does happen. Mothers make you do unnecessary stuff, and yeah, it's like work. She told me off 'cos I was in my room during Christmas, cleaned my room without asking and sorted my bookshelf. She wouldn't control you if she didn't love you. I think that's how mothers are."

"Yes, you're right. That's normally how it is." When she raised her head once again, her expression was somewhat softer than usual. Yukinoshita turned to Rumi and bowed her head. "I'm terribly sorry. I was wrong, it seems. I spoke out of turn."

"Ah, not at all… this is kinda hard and I don't really get it," a flustered Rumi replied, bewildered at Yukinoshita's sudden apology

Wasn't this my first time seeing that chick apologise properly? Yui's eyes had widened as well. All of a sudden, things became still as death, and even Rumi seemed uncomfortable.

"Weeeell, you know how it is," I said. "In that case, you wanna take a photo? Of me, I mean. It's a super rare. You'd normally have to pay to get one."

"Don't need it," Rumi answered promptly with a straight face.

"…oh, okay." I deflated slightly.

But then her straight face unexpectedly crumpled at the seams. "I wonder if all these bad things will change when I'm a high schooler…"

"At the very least, they most certainly won't change if you intend to remain the way you are." Way to go, Yukinoshita‐san! Not going easy on the young 'un just after you finished apologising to her!

"But it's enough if the people around you change," I remarked. "There's no need to force yourself to hang out with others."

"But things are hard on Rumi‐chan right now and if we don't do something about it…" Yui looked at Rumi with eyes full of concern.

In response, Rumi winced slightly. "Hard, you say… I don't like that. It makes me sound pathetic. It makes me feel inferior for being left out."

"Oh," said Yui.

"I don't like it, you know. But there's nothing you can do about it."

"Why?" Yukinoshita questioned her. Rumi seemed to have some trouble speaking, but she still managed to form the right words. "I… got abandoned. I can't get along with them anymore. Even if I did, I don't know when it'll start again. If the same thing were to happen, I guess I'm better off this way. I just‐" She swallowed. "‐don't wanna be pathetic…"

I understood. The world was inherently cruel. And we were all truly and well alone up in this bitch. Even Yui with all of her friends was alone. Nobody could overcome solipsism. There was no reason to think that there was no reason to think.

"You don't wanna be pathetic?" I asked.

"…yeah." Rumi nodded, fighting to contain a hoarse sob. Even now, tears threatened to fall; it must have been painful for her.

"…I hope the test of courage will be fun," I told her as I stood up.

I had the beginnings of a plan. Not much but the start. I'd come up with more as I made my way along and figured it out. Yukinoshita met my gaze. I stared her down and when one of us looked away it wasn't me.

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-WG