A quick one while she's away.
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Olanzapine.
Olanzapine. Olanzapine. Olanzapine.
Olanzapine.
So far I hadn't noticed anything but I wasn't at a dose where people typically start responding to the medicine.
The clonazepam I noticed within minutes of taking it. It was sweet tasting and dissolved under the tongue. It made the bad scary-ies go away. I could feel it working almost immediately. Thoughts of alien monsters hanging suspended in the dark spaces between spaces were eased by the drug. I found myself almost looking forward to my next dose of the substance.
Not a good sign.
Right then the door bell rang. I went and checked the intercom. It was Yui checking her hair cheerfully. I moved to let her in. I figured she was here for her dog.
"Yahallo Hikki!"
"Hello Yui," I greeted.
She cocked her head at me while I stood in the doorway. "Hikki? Is something wrong?"
"My parents found the drug bag. I started treatment."
"Oh. The drug bag?"
"Yep. Vicodin and THC. I used to take them to help me cope. Not any more. I'm on prescribed stuff now."
"Is it working?"
I shook my head. "It's too early to tell."
"Do you think it will?"
"I have to have faith in the medicine. Here for your dog?" I asked.
"And to see you Hikki. I brought you a souvenir. Here." She handed me a paper bag. I peeked inside. There were individually wrapped sweets inside.
"These are…"
"What? You don't like them?"
"I could. It's just don't girls typically hang on to these types of sweets and pass them around class?"
"Some girls do. Some don't. Like Yumiko." Miura eh?
"One time a girl put the wrapper of one of these sorts of candies in my shoe cubby. The confidence of the crime really threw me."
"D-don't worry! That won't happen this time! You don't have enough of a presence for anybody to do that."
I let out a low dark chuckle at that. Yui didn't look creeped out by it, though. She rolled with it.
Yui looked past me nervously. "So how's Sable?"
"Oh? He's fine. Komachi!" I called out. I heard the pitter patter of socked feet.
"You were on drugs?" Yui asked with big eyes. I looked away from her. She was too bright. Like the sun.
"I was. Still am, I suppose. But now I'm on prescribed stuff rather than self medicating."
"You shouldn't have been doing that type of thing to yourself…"
"I should do a lot of things. I'm not perfect. The pain medication helped me get through my bad days."
"Isn't that kind of medication addictive?"
"It can be… less than one percent of people get addicted to opioids. I may have an addictive personality but these new drugs should be a good substitute. So far I really like one of them."
"Oh?"
"It's called Clonazepam. It's for panic attacks. It tastes good and I look forward to my next dose. I think I may like it too much," I let out another low chuckle. I'd looked up the medication. Clonazepam was a benzodiazepine, a drug characterized by a benzene ring and a diazepam ring. It was supposed to be incredibly addictive even at low dosages. But long term use turned the brain to swiss cheese on the molecular level. Not good. Still I liked it and it made my life tolerable.
"I'm sure it will be fine then, they wouldn't prescribe you something bad."
Komachi arrived at the door with Sable in her arms. He yipped a little.
Yui grinned when she saw him. "Thanks Komachi."
"It was nothing," my sister replied.
Yui petted the dog in Komachi's arms and asked, "He didn't cause you trouble?"
"Oh no, not at all," Komachi informed her. "We played together with dog-lingual and stuff. It was fun."
"Dog-lingual? Oh that thing. I remember they used to have that a long time ago."
"There's an app out now," I cut in. I took my phone out and launched the program.
"Let me see, let me see." Yui circled around for a better view of my phone and then to test it out she tried calling out to her dog. "Come on Sable! It's me!"
Sable titled his head looking puzzled. "Waff?" (Who's she?)
"Sable?!"
The despair in her tone probably startled him as he yipped and ran around my ankles. I scooped him up in my arms then gently put him into the carrier Komachi had brought over. I zipped it up and handed it to Yui.
"Here. He'll remember you in a couple of days."
"Ngh… I really wanted him to remember…." She was half in tears but she held the carrier firmly and with care. Sable pressed his nose against the mesh and whined.
"Goodbye," I told the dog. I didn't give two shits about this dog. But it felt right to valedict.
"Bring Sable over again sometime to play, Yui." Komachi, her eyes a little wet, took Yui's hand. She had been glued to our guest the last few days.
"I will! For sure!"
"Yes, please do," said Komachi. "When our parents are here, with a box of cakes while you're doing your greetings." Komachi's eyes glinted suspiciously.
"Yeah, greeting your pare- Wait, what?! No! No, I'm not going after all!"
Komachi clicked her tongue quietly and her expression quickly changed back to normal. "WAnyways I hope you do come over again sometime. I'll be waiting."
"Yeah, thanks." Yui expressed her gratitude then heaved up Sable and the rest of the doggy things. It was about time for her to go.
"Oh yeah about Yukinoshita. She might be at the fireworks show. Hiratsuka sensei was saying that since it's a municipal even a lot of VIPs will be showing up with their families."
"Oh really? Yukinon? All right I'll go and check it out." Yui paused for a moment as if something had suddenly occurred to her. She quietly took a deep breath and focused on me. "U-um… s-so do you want to go see the fireworks together? As thanks for taking care of Sable, I'll buy you some kind of food there."
"You hear that Komachi? Let's go to the fireworks," I said.
"Good grief," Komachi muttered, "Completely useless as always."
"Huh?" I managed.
"Idiot," Komachi fingered me. "Anyways Yui I'm really flattered by your invitation but I'm so busy studying for exams. I know you want to do something for me, but I don't know if I can go out."
"Oh… of course."
"Yeah, I'm sorry. But! But, but! There's some stuff I'd like to come help me buy. But well… agh I just don't have the time to go! I really want it but I don't have time to go shopping! Whatever shall I do?! It's so much to carry too so you'd have some trouble getting it on your own, Yui," Komachi recited with incredibly forced deliver then looked right at me.
Yui realized what that meant and jumped on that opportunity with gusto. "Oh! Y-yeah! Hikki! Why don't you come with me to buy that thank you gift for Komachi? She's done a lot for you, too, after all!"
WTFuck?
"Of course I'll go with you, Yui," I managed. "Just call me or shoot me an email."
"Yeah I'll email you later," Yui grinned.
"Sounds good," I decided.
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-WG
