pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq
(Yukino PoV)
"He's going to hurt himself again," I told Yui with a sigh. She was mixing cookie batter in a bowl within my apartment. I stared at her pretty face for a moment. There was a streak of flower across it just near her mouth. It amplified her beauty. Like a beauty mole almost.
"What can we do about it though? He doesn't consider something like that to be pain," Yui observed. She set the bowl down with a satisfied nod. It was probably sufficiently mixed. Yui was getting better at this.
"He didn't think cutting himself was painful either," I shot back. I added vanilla to the mixture. I didn't measure it. I eyeballed it.
Yui mixed a little more at my addition.
She hummed in thought. I thought she had a pretty voice. I could stand to hear it more.
"He stopped that," She mumbled.
"That we know of," I leveled back.
"Have you noticed anything? Has he called you?" She wondered.
I shook my head. "He at least hasn't been slicing his wrists. He only promised to call the once."
"He'll call again. He will." Yui seemed assured. She sighed down at her bowl of ingredients with an adorably cocked head.
That he may. But there were no promises binding him. When he called he would probably call me. I was weaker at getting him to stop than Yui. But still he had that alien mind. He liked to be entangled in higher order ideals. He wrestled with gods and angels. And demons and devils. He claimed he sold his soul but I'd still seen it within him. A bright spark in the midst of a devouring maw. He was starving. But no matter how dark a star he became he couldn't smother that light. That light that cared about Yui and I and his sister. The purity of it almost burned me. I couldn't look at it directly like staring at the sun. It was just too bright. He couldn't hide that from me. I saw it in him.
"I didn't get his word to." I mumbled back.
"He knows what we meant. That means something. He understands metaphors." Yui smiled at me gently and calmly. How could she be so calm about this? She'd been in a tizzy over me last time he cut. She'd been worrying over me even though I hadn't been the one in pain. Well I suppose that wasn't true. I had been in pain. I cared for him and hated him for it. But there was nothing to be done. That was the nature of our relationship.
I outright told him we couldn't be friends but that didn't mean we couldn't be something more. I was quite sure what that was but Yui and I were something more than friends.
"Put that in the auto mixer." I told her regarding the bowl of cookie dough.
She did and turned it too high before lowering the setting. We didn't want to make a mess out of the flower and whatnots. Yui held a palm full of chocolate chips and started popping them one by one into her mouth with a little toss up in the air.
"Yukinon," she started with a grin. "Open up."
I did with a slight smile. She nailed my open mouth with a chocolate chip. It was a good throw. I tasted the milk chocolate and let it run over my tongue. I held it in my mouth and let it melt. I savored it briefly. It didn't last too long. When I opened my mouth again Yui missed this time and the chocolat echip fell to the floor. I picked it up and tossed it in the trash.
Yui was still grinning and I smiled back at her. She leveraged a spoonful of brown sugar into her mouth. She offered me some from the same spoon. I blushed at the indirect kiss but stepped up and took a mouthful. Yui tossed the spoon into the dishwasher. I started rolling out the cookies. I let them fall into little balls. I set them on a greased pan. Yui watched almost fascinated. I ignored that as best as I was able.
"You should let your hair down more." Yui decided. Currently my hair was down and around my shoulders. Hers was up in her classic updo.
"Really?" I wondered.
"Yep!" She pronounced popping the 'h' in the word hai. "You look beautiful."
I blushed a little under her praise and honesty. Some honesty was raw. It couldn't be denied or dissuaded. Sometimes honesty like that came from children and it wasn't spoken like praise even if it could be taken as such. This time it came from Yui in all her childlike wonder at the world around her. She sounded entranced at the sight of me. It couldn't be anything other than the raw truth.
"I planned to put it up in that scrunchie he got me." I confessed. "I guess I forgot."
She giggled. "That isn't like you. You're an overthinker. You over plan."
"And you think I'm doing it now?" I asked as I slid the sheet of cookies into the preheated oven.
"For sure. If anything comes up we'll just have to deal with it together. I know we can." She was smiling at me gently. I stared at her lips. I could smell her creamy shampoo and lotion. She smelled nice and familiar. Smell was important. It was good. Nobody wanted a smelly… whatever Yui was to me.
She was something more than my friend. She was my first real friend. I had had other acquaintances before her but they were all empty inside. Yui was full of life and love. It was like a fountain running over the edges. Walk past and you'd step in it. But it wasn't gross and it was for me and him. I rather liked that. She was something else. And I knew I was probably not what she liked and wasn't really her thing, but just in case I'd be vulnerable and open to her.
I sighed looking at her. I was in love with her. I loved her smile and laugh and hair and eyes. I loved how bubbly and affectionate she was. At least towards me. And that was what really mattered. For a moment I imagined her being affectionate towards Miura and flinched as though struck in the mouth. I really didn't want that. I wanted her to be affectionate towards me and him. I didn't mind sharing her with him.
As the cookies baked and Yui stuffed her face with chocolate chips I tried to process. I tried to sort out my feelings for the other girl. If only I could openly and truly talk to Hikigaya about Yui. I had before. But that was before. Plus my feelings for Hikigaya were deeply confusing. So that left him off the table.
I tried to think it through. I really wanted to kiss her and touch her. I loved when she kissed and touched me. I wanted to reciprocate. But more than that… I wanted more than that.
I wanted… I wanted to have sex with her. I wanted her whole body within my own. I wanted to swallow her whole. I bet she knew how to touch a girl. I wanted her fingers or mouth at my most sensitive places. I shuddered a little and got gooseflesh despite the heat of the kitchen.
"For valentines day do you think we could make heart shaped cookies?' Yui wondered to snap me out of my thoughts. Which was for the best. I was having rather inappropriate thoughts. She was my best friend. I shouldn't be imagining sex with her for goodness sake. What the fuck.
"If they're small," I answered.
"Hmm," she hummed in thought again. That noise I wanted more of. I imagined her moaning and mewling with that tender voice. I tried to shake it off but couldn't to full effect. She was gorgeous. I thought about her body all the time. She was fit despite her diet. Muscle under the ghost of fat. It left her soft. So soft. Like a kitten on a bed of clouds. That's what her kisses were like. I stepped up to her and she gave me a curious look. I kissed her cheek once. Just the once. It was soft like all our kisses. SHe blushed and exclaimed.
"Yukinon! What was that for?!"
"I wanted to." I wanted to do more than that. Please let me do more than that to you. I would make you so happy. I knew what I liked in terms of being touched from my own experiments with my own body. I wasn't one hundred percent sure that would translate but it would help. WIth a little experimentation I could make her writhe in ecstasy. I could make her so happy. She was positively beaming from my kiss alone. I could kiss down her body. I could suck at that dimple in her collar. She was better endowed than I was but I didn't feel jealous. I felt turned on. I could feel my own heartbeat between my legs. It was so loud and oppressive.
"Do you have a problem with my kisses?" I murmured sultry.
"Not at all," she whispered back. She was so close. Her rich full lips were right there. I leaned in.
The timer went off. I swayed on empty air as Yui drew back and turned her attention to the oven. I could feel how red my face was. She was panting from excitement. I wondered if she was feeling what I was feeling before I dismissed the thought.
"Yukinon…" she whimpered. Good god above did she have any idea what she did to me when she talked like that? It made me ache with something domineering. I wanted her whole body in my arms.
She pulled the cookies out of the oven with a mit. SHe set them on the counter. She gently toyed with the edge of a cookie with her fingers. Then she hissed and put her fingers in her mouth to cool them and suck off the chocolate from the cookie. She sighed at the flavour and the taste of her own fingers. I wanted her fingers in my mouth. I wanted them in me. I wanted them deep inside. I crept up behind her as though frightened of spooking her like a gazelle. I wrapped my arms around her waist. I set my chin on her shoulder.
"Give me a taste," I whispered right in her ear. She shuddered.
She poked a cookie and held out her finger to me. I put it in my mouth and sucked on it dumbly. I moaned a little. I wasn't proud of that but I did. I was achingly wet between my legs. I stepped back to clear my head. Yui was watching me with a flushed face.
"Yukinon…"
I swallowed and mastered myself.
"Yui…" The breathe whistled out of me.
"I liked that, Yukinon."
"Me too," I whispered back.
"No. I really liked that," she insisted.
"I believe you," it was all I said. All I could say. She whined a little. I swallowed again and turned away. I began to undo my apron. That broke the growing tension.
pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq
-WG
