A/N: I've decided to cancel the other board exam since it's optional and so far I can't do well enough that taking it will do more harm instead of good. So we're going back to the regular schedule now!
Anyways, I think you'll be able to figure out what this chapter is gonna be like just from the title :P
Greeden: I don't have a problem with it, though I can't guarantee that it's going to happen. I don't think any technology like that ever existed in the game universe.
Guest: I'm not sure I'll include the idea as I present it, although some variation is a possibility. There's a reason why Mike and the ghost kids are going through a lot to make sure that their existence is a secret, after all.
AlchemyWriter: I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope everything is going okay!
WhyIsThePuppetSticky: I didn't realize you were making a joke, it's all good :P
Chapter 107 – One Night at Mike's: Fuck-Up Edition
The Fazbear Fumble
Mike's eyes narrowed as he scanned through the rooms on his tablet. It had been a while since he and the kids had played their unique variation of Five Nights at Freddy's, so he had dialed things back a notch to Night 3 conditions. Right now, it was the equivalent of 1 AM, and Rockstar Bonnie, Chica, and Freddy were all on the move.
"You guys aren't gonna get me," Mike muttered as he checked on Rockstar Foxy and the Security Puppet, the former of whom hadn't yet emerged from behind the curtain yet. He put down the tablet and flashed his flashlight on Scrap Baby, who had lifted her head up and was now staring at Mike. As Scrap Baby's head fell back down, Mike heard two sets of footsteps from above the ceiling. The footsteps both moved towards where Mike knew the stairs was…and abruptly stopped.
At first, Mike thought that the two Rockstars had merely moved into the living room and had both stopped at around the same location, and were preparing to advance down the stairs in the next few seconds. But he began to doubt his theory when he heard a scuffling sound along with the sound of grinding metal above him.
"Is that supposed to happen?" he wondered. "I've never heard this sound before, and we didn't talk about any new mechanics…"
He was beginning to suspect that something had gone amiss…a suspicion that was quickly confirmed when he heard Rockstar Bonnie and Rockstar Chica argue in the distance…something that definitely wasn't supposed to happen.
"Oh my God!" Rockstar Bonnie groaned. "We're stuck!"
"This is all your fault!" Rockstar Chica complained. "You should've waited for me to go down the stairs first!"
"How is it my fault?" Rockstar Bonnie protested. "It could just as easily be your fault!"
"Of course it's your fault!" Rockstar Chica retorted. "Haven't you heard of ladies first?"
By now, Scrap Baby was looking up towards the direction where the argument was coming from, the game having been all but forgotten. "What's going on?" she asked Mike, confusion clear in her voice.
"Uhhhh…" Mike scratched his head. "I think they got stuck at the top of the stairway. And I think they're arguing?"
"Wait, really?" Liz snickered. "I need to see this!"
"Can you stop moving?" Rockstar Chica demanded. "You're squishing me!"
"Hold on! Hold on!" Rockstar Bonnie muttered. "It'll be easier if I try to move first, I'm in front of you!"
"No, you're not!" Rockstar Chica protested. "I'm in front! Ugh…maybe we should get some help."
"Oh God, I hope nobody can see this," Rockstar Bonnie grumbled. "I can already hear the others laughing at us."
"What are you guys doing?" a new voice asked. If the animatronics could turn, they would have seen Rockstar Freddy leave the bedroom and join them in the second floor hallway, staring at the two stuck animatronics. "Uh…how did this even…?"
"Don't ask," Rockstar Chica shut him up mid-sentence. "Just help us get out of this mess!"
"All right," Rockstar Freddy shook his head and approached his fellow animatronics. "Just let me give you guys a push here, and…"
"Wait, no…!" Rockstar Bonnie tried to stop him but it was too late. Rockstar Freddy pushed on him with all his strength and actually succeeded in dislodging him. Unfortunately, this accomplishment would soon prove to have a major downside, as not only did this send the bunny animatronic falling forward, but the sudden opening of space caused Rockstar Chica to lose her balance and also fall forward…down the stairs.
CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!
Downstairs, Mike and Scrap Baby both cringed as they heard Rockstar Bonnie and Chica topple down the stairs and onto the first floor. When they arrived at the landing, they could see the two animatronics lying on the ground in an unceremonious heap, their guitar and maracas lying a few inches away (thankfully undamaged).
"Urrrrggggghhhhhh…." They both groaned, too embarrassed at their undignified state to even speak or move.
"Oops…" Rockstar Freddy mumbled sheepishly as he stared down at the mess that he had inadvertently helped cause.
"Wow…" Rockstar Foxy commented as he joined Rockstar Freddy up on the second floor. "For once I'm not the idiot!"
"How the hell did you even…" Scrap Baby asked incredulously as Mike wordlessly facepalmed. The sound of a music box reached their ears, and a few seconds later the Security Puppet arrived, quickly joining her father and sister in staring at the two fallen Rockstars.
"Do I even want to know?" she asked as she processed what she was seeing.
Mike just sighed and shook his head. "I'm just glad that you warded the house so that it could hold several pounds of heavy metal animatronics," he muttered, "or else I'm pretty sure there'd be a huge hole in my stairs right now…"
That's Not How It Works
Mike grumbled something unintelligible as Rockstar Bonnie left the living room, dropping the Fuckstick back onto the couch as he opened up the tablet to check on Security Puppet and Rockstar Foxy. He groaned as he realized that Rockstar Foxy was stepping out of the bathtub, his mouth open in a silent snarl, only a few moments away from initiating his first attack.
"That's not good," Mike muttered, his already ill mood souring further as Rockstar Chica pushed down the tablet, and he was forced to use the Fuckstick to ward her off. The moment the chicken animatronic was gone, Mike lifted up the tablet again, wound the music box back up, and checked the bathroom…only to discover that Rockstar Foxy was gone.
"Oh, that's REALLY not good," Mike amended with a scowl. "Why the heck is he being so aggressive tonight anyway, I SWEAR he's not supposed to start attacking this early…all right, get over here so I can get this over with, you son of a bitch…"
He heard footsteps clamoring down the stairs, but to his surprise they were merely walking down at a steady pace instead of the rushing and running that he generally associated with Foxy. The footsteps approached the left entrance to the living room…and stopped. Mike flashed his light at the left entrance out of instinct, and to his surprise there was nobody in sight.
"Okay, this is definitely not normal…"
THUNK!
Mike blinked, then stared in incomprehension as he saw a piece of an animatronic body fly into the room and land on the floor a few feet away from him. More specifically, Rockstar Foxy's foot.
"…" Mike couldn't even think of a response to what he was seeing. By now, Scrap Baby had lifted her head from her dormant state, quickly joining Mike in staring at the Rockstar Foxy leg lying haphazardly on the floor.
THUNK!
Another animatronic limb, this time Rockstar Foxy's arm, flew into the room and landed on the floor a few inches away from the leg.
"What the fuck?" Mike finally spluttered as yet another piece of the pirate animatronic, the entire accordion, flew into the room and joined its fellows on the ground.
"I have no idea what's going on," Scrap Baby admitted, finally breaking her roleplaying-mandated silence as the rest of Rockstar Foxy's body hopped or fell into the room one component at a time: his other leg, his parrot, his torso, his upper body, and finally his head.
"Hey, dad!" Rockstar Foxy's disembodied head greeted him cheerfully as Mike and Scrap Baby stared speechless at him.
"Wh…wh…wha….whaaaaaa…..?" Mike tried and failed to wrap his head around what he was seeing.
"What did you DO?" Scrap Baby exclaimed, asked the question that both she and her father desperately needed an answer to.
"You remember Nightmare's Ultimate Custom Night thing?" Rockstar Foxy asked. When the two mutely nodded, he continued, "well, I saw the mechanic for Foxy in that William Afton torture game, and decided to try it out here!"
"And you BROKE Rockstar Foxy?" Mike exclaimed. "Do you realize just how much time Melody spent into rebuilding you after Afton tore you to pieces?"
Rockstar Foxy grinned. "That's the beauty of it! I sent Melody a few private emails and she told me that the exoskeletons can be easily disassembled and reassembled since these animatronics aren't really supposed to do anything besides hold a power source and play music. Don't worry, dad, you won't have a hard time putting me back together again!"
"You actually got all this information from Melody just for the sake of a prank?" Scrap Baby asked incredulously. When Rockstar Foxy's head hopped up and down in confirmation, she wordlessly facepalmed at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.
"Going back to the whole UCN thing," Mike changed the subject, making a mental note to check with Melody to make sure that he wouldn't actually have any major problems reassembling Rockstar Foxy when all this was done, "how exactly does Foxy work in Ultimate Custom Night?"
"Well, the whole Pirate Cove thing is kinda the same, except once I escape there's no making me go back in," Rockstar Foxy explained. Mike opened his mouth to protest how that would be horribly unbalanced for the incarnation of the game that they were playing, but the animatronic continued before he could say anything. "When I get into the office, or living room, I get in piece by piece by slipping in pieces of myself until every piece of me is inside. Then, I put back myself together and BOO!" he suddenly shouted, causing Mike to nearly jump. "Gotcha!"
"So you're basically ripping off one of Nightmare's ideas and trying to get me with it in our game for the sake of memes," Mike drawled, exchanging a look with Scrap Baby. "Okay…but here's my question," the man's face suddenly broke into a smirk. "Do you even know how to put yourself back together?"
Rockstar Foxy's eye widened. "Uhh..." he spluttered, "…gimme a sec." He closed his eyes and focused, willing the various parts of his body scattered on the floor to pull themselves back together. A few of the smaller pieces, namely the arms and legs, began to shudder and hop off the ground slightly, but the pirate animatronic failed to achieve any meaningful progress in reassembling himself.
By now, Scrap Baby was giggling at the spectacle in front of her, and some of the other Rockstars were approaching the room, their intended attacks on Mike completely forgotten as they stared at the broken pieces of Rockstar Foxy trying and failing to put himself back together.
"Shit," Rockstar Foxy finally mumbled, glaring at the snickering human and animatronics as best as he could. "I think I might need a little help here."
"Urrrrgggghhhhh," Mike facepalmed. "Could you guys help me bring these pieces over to the workshop so I can reassemble him?"
Still trying to hold in their laughter in, the other animatronics in the room began to pick up the pieces of Rockstar Foxy and carry them out of the living room. As Scrap Baby picked up Rockstar Foxy's head, the pirate animatronic suddenly gave a cheeky grin. "Since I technically ended this round, does this mean I win?"
"NO!"
Teleportation Trouble
"Oh joy, I wonder who's going to be the first to try and kick my ass?" Mike muttered as he opened his laptop and checked through the cameras in his house. A quick scan revealed that all of the animatronics were in their appropriate starting positions except for Rockstar Bonnie, who had already left his bedroom and moved into the second floor hallway.
"I don't even know why I'm putting myself through this," the man shook his head as he lowered his tablet and checked on Scrap Baby, who hadn't moved from her dormant state. "The only thing I can think of is that all the shit in my early life has turned me into a bit of a masochist…"
He went through another quick scan, but this time when he lowered the tablet Rockstar Golden Freddy was sitting on the ground in front of him, staring soullessly at him with his empty black eyes. "Trying to get the early drop on me, eh?" Mike drawled as he flipped the Fuckstick at him and caused him to disappear. "How about no?"
Once the golden bear animatronic was gone, Mike opened the tablet…only to stare in disbelief as the Security Puppet pushed open the lid to her box and climbed out. "Wait, what the FUCK? That's cheating!" he exclaimed as the animatronic disappeared from the basement camera's line of sight. "I still had over three-quarters of my timer bar left! Bullshit!"
He whirled around to the basement door, where the Security Puppet was floating up the last few stairs and into the living room. "Why are you out of your box?" he demanded. "I know for a fact I didn't run out of time!"
"Dad!" the Security Puppet exclaimed, and it was only then that Mike saw her eye lights flickering frantically. "It's Cassidy! She's gone!"
"Well, yeah…" Mike muttered. "That's kind of the whole point of Rockstar Golden Freddy's mechanic…"
"No, I mean I can't sense her anywhere in the house or anywhere around it!" the Security Puppet clarified, visibly trying not to panic. "She's gone!"
Mike's eyes widened, and in the background Scrap Baby's eyes were glowing green with her own shock. "Oh, fuck…" he breathed.
Meanwhile…
Melody hummed to herself as she got ready for her shower. She had had a very long day at work at Eisensteel, and right now all she wanted more than anything was to give herself a nice, long warm shower and then go straight to bed.
"You all right there, Bonnet?" she asked. The little pink bunny animatronic giggled and waved at her, which by now Melody understood as a sign that everything was just fine. Melody gave her a thumbs up and turned back to the bathroom.
"God, I've waited all day for this," Melody muttered as she turned on the bathroom light and reached for the curtain. "Nothing like a good shower to…"
She pulled open the shower curtain…and shrieked.
"Uhhhh….hi?" Rockstar Golden Freddy waved a hand awkwardly at her.
"Wh…wh…what the fu…wait a minute" Melody's eyes squinted at the animatronic sitting in her bathtub, then widened in realization. "Cassidy?"
A nervous giggle emerged from the animatronic bear's mouth. "Good to see you again, Melody."
"I mean, sure, but…" Melody shook her head to clear her thoughts. "What are you even DOING here?"
"We were, uh, we were playing that game we sometimes do, with the animatronics," Rockstar Golden Freddy explained. "You know, the one you tried out once?"
When Melody nodded, she continued. "I was teleporting in to our living room to try and get Dad, and, uh…I think I might have messed up teleporting back out."
"And you somehow ended up in my house?" Melody replied incredulously.
"…I messed up really bad…"
"Can you at least get back home safe?" the woman asked, some concern blending into her bafflement.
Rockstar Golden Freddy hesitated for a second, then nodded. "I think so," she answered carefully. "Back when we first started taking vacations, Charlie set something up with her magic so that we could easily find our house if we ever got lost for whatever reason. Just gimme a sec…"
The golden bear animatronic closed his eyes, focused…and instantly vanished, leaving no trace of his existence. It was almost as though it had never materialized in the bathroom in the first place.
Still bewildered at the random craziness that had just occurred, Melody reached out to the knob and turned it, finally letting the hot water flow free from the showerhead. "First a busy work day and now this," she muttered. "God, this day really needs to just end already…"
/
Rockstar Golden Freddy opened his eyes and, to his relief, found himself back in Mike's living room. All of the animatronics had gathered in the living room, the game quickly forgotten once Charlie had revealed that he had gone missing.
"Oh my God!" the Security Puppet exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him in a relieved hug. "I sensed you disappear! Are you all right?"
"I'm fine!" Rockstar Golden Freddy quickly reassured her. "I just…I kinda made a mistake with my teleporting."
"What happened?" Rockstar Chica demanded. "Where did you go? Charlie said she couldn't sense you anywhere around the house!"
"I…uh…" Rockstar Golden Freddy shuffled uncomfortably, somehow appearing embarrassed despite his metal face not properly expressing emotions, "I sorta ended up in Melody's house. More specifically…her bathtub."
The room fell into stunned silence. Whatever answer they had been expecting, it most certainly hadn't been that.
"I'm sorry, but what the fuck?" Rockstar Freddy finally broke the silence.
"I don't know!" the golden bear animatronic shrugged. "It just happened?"
"But…how?" Mike spluttered. "Like, how is that even possible! I never took you over to visit Melody's house! Hell, I haven't even told you the town that she lives in, let alone her address. How did you end up in her freaking BATHTUB of all places?"
Rockstar Golden Freddy shrugged again, unable to come up with a proper answer.
"I'm getting a headache just thinking about this," Rockstar Bonnie groaned.
Mike threw his hands up in the air. "I have no clue what the fuck is going on anymore…"
/
A/N: And thus we conclude a chapter that literally nobody asked for. A One Night at Mike's chapter that turned into such a shitshow that even a character who doesn't live anywhere near the family got wrapped up in it.
I'm actually not sure about the timeframe of these sessions, whether they all happened in the same night or if they're just scattered moments of ONAM games that went to shit. I personally think it's funnier if they all happen in the same night, one clusterfuck after another, although I can understand if people think that having them all happen in one night is a bit too much.
If you're wondering about how Rockstar Foxy was able to tear himself apart for his attempt at imitating Foxy's UCN mechanic, he detached his exoskeleton and animatronic parts in ways that would make it easy to disassemble and reassemble him. Fritz didn't tear Rockstar Foxy apart viciously and haphazardly the way William Afton did as Nightmare Springtrap. Also, I kinda imagine that Fritz was mainly possessing Rockstar Foxy's head by the time he had disassembled himself, and he only had a weak connection to the rest of the animatronic's body while he was in the head. Fritz could have more easily reassembled Rockstar Foxy if he left his head and animated the parts as a ghost, but (a) it wouldn't have really been in the spirit of the game (no pun intended), and (b) do you really expect Fritz of all people to think things through properly?
Anyways, I think we'll be starting the vacation soon. Like I said before, it'll be in Chicago since I came up with a better idea for what to do for New York in the wintertime.
Hope you guys enjoyed!
