Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Odds Ratio

What are the odds?

An odds ratio can answer that question. A statistic that expresses the likelihood of one thing occurring alongside or in response to another thing, an odds ratio is a way to calculate risk. It can be used to examine how one variable affects two different groups. Often used in quantitative research design, an odds ratio is used for medical and social science research.


"It's going to be great", Naruto assured me as he shoveled mouthfuls from his bowl into his mouth. His actions were rushed and rapid enough that little bits of sauce was splattering everywhere.

Groaning into my bowl of overcooked soba noodles, I disagreed. However, it was one of Anzu's better attempts. At least this one wasn't overpowered by too much salt. Nor had she served it with any mostly-raw meat.

Neither Anzu nor Naruto seemed to notice my unenthusiastic response. They were too busy being happy and excited for me. We were eating at Anzu's and my apartment tonight. Last week we had finally managed to save up enough and were now the proud owners of a table and three chairs. Why three chairs when we were a household of two? Because Anzu insisted that we needed one for Naruto. Just like when she insisted on needing three sets of tableware. Ever since then, Naruto was eating with us each night he wasn't at Ichiraku's.

"We'll train together. Show up Sasuke. Go on missions together", Naruto kept going. How was he able to eat and talk like this at the same time? "Ooh! And you'll get to meet Kakashi-Sensei. He's the coolest out of all the jonin". Except, I didn't want to meet Kakashi. At all. He was too aware. Too… invested. And all that look beneath the underneath crap. Kakashi was my worst nightmare.

I groaned around a mouthful of noodles. Team seven was the last rookie team I have yet to work with. That pattern should have told me I was likely to meet up with them soon. But a small optimistic part of me that I've tried to smother many times, thought I might be able to avoid them entirely. Kakashi, their sensei, was known to not have much patience for the antics of genin. If memory serves, Naruto and his team barely passed. If rumors were to be believed, Kakashi passing team seven may have been influenced due to pressure from the third Hokage. Considering all that, it sounded unlikely Kakashi would have the patience to host a fourth genin for a day of training and D-ranks.

Besides, Anko liked to talk me up as some sort of manipulative, unashamed, reprehensible munchkin. Which probably placed me as far away from Kakashi's vision of the perfect genin; team-loving, hard-working, and fueled by the will of fire. I believe I am the type of shinobi Kakashi despises.

"Sounds like fun", Anzu said. Naruto rewarded her with a beaming smile. "I'm glad you two get to spend the day together. I always worry things will be harder for Rion because she doesn't have a team". Anzu's face was pensive as she stared into the depths of her bowl. Orange strands of hair fell from her bun and framed her face. That was her latest hair color, orange. I'm not sure why she chose it.

"I have a team", I interjected. Anko and Shinobu were my colleagues and that's basically the same thing as a team. "They're just older than me, more experienced, and don't have time to train me". Well… unless the training involved making poor saps talk. Then, as I've learned, Anko and Shinobu were very hands-on with my professional development.

Anzu lost her thoughtful look and frowned at me instead. Whether she was frowning in disappointment or concern, remains unclear.

"Yeah, but", Naruto jumped in. "All you do is boring paperwork all day with a bunch of old people". If only that were true. Though I wonder what Anko would do if someone referred to her as old to her face. "Working in the field is way better", Naruto assured me. "You'll see".

Setting my bowl down on the table, I fixed Naruto with a narrowed-eyed look. "I've completed D-ranks just like you. Do you really think weeding gardens and walking dogs is less boring than working for T&I? The torture and interrogation department?" I felt the need to spell it out for Naruto because I was unsure if he understood what the letters stood for.

Naruto started to bubble up; ready to refute and prove me wrong. But he was distracted before he could. "I know", Anzu announced as if she just had a eureka moment. "I can make you both a lunch for tomorrow. You'll both be leaving together, so that will make the timing easier. What time is training?"

"Seven", Naruto answered before I could. His eyes were swimming with happiness as he eyed Anzu like she was some sort of saint.

Anzu nodded as she thought things through. "I'll prepare them tonight, so they'll be ready to go first thing in the morning".

"So, if you were told to meet up at seven, that means we don't need to be there until nine, right?" I asked. Naruto blinked at me like he was confused. "Before, you said Kakashi-Sensei is always two hours late. So, we can be there at nine, right?"

Comprehension bloomed across Naruto's face. "Yeah, but", he started again. "We should still go at seven. Sakura and Sasuke are always on time. And we use those two hours to warm up and get some practice in before the real training starts. It's fun too".

"Rion, you won't want to miss that", Anzu said before I could cast any downer vibes over Naruto's excitement. She knows me too well. "Then you'll have more time to catch up with your other classmates. You haven't seen either of them since graduation".

Much to Naruto's and Anzu's pleasure, I caved. I was no match for their positivity when they decided to team up against me. Pleased and not afraid to show it, Naruto and Anzu returned to the food in front of them; wondering about what adventures tomorrow may hold. I followed at a slower pace. This time, when I picked up my bowl, I used it to hide my frown. What were the odds of Anzu's cooking giving me food poisoning strong enough to warrant staying home?


The problem with jounin is that they all talk amongst themselves. The problem with working with team seven was that they were the only rookie team I haven't trained with yet. Combining those two facts meant Kakashi had a chance to form an opinion about me without ever having met me.

Unlike Gai, he had a chance to prepare. Unlike Kurenai, Shino wasn't here to act as a buffer and apologize for my… personality. Unlike Asuma, Kakashi didn't get any good reports about me from his students. All Kakashi knew was that I tried to ditch training with Gai, I was the last to get a handle on tree walking amongst Kurenai's students, and I'd rather terrify someone I claimed was my friend than spar with sportsmanship.

To make things worse, the first thing Kakashi heard me say was, "The will of fire isn't real. It's just propaganda".

We were sitting in a circle on training field seven. Naruto to my left, Sakura to my right, and Sasuke across from me. To my surprise, Naruto wasn't kidding when he said they trained before Kakashi showed up. As soon as we got there, it was katas, target practice, and meditation. I ended up joining in just because I didn't want Naruto reporting to Anzu that I didn't participate.

We were stretching now; not wanting our muscles to get cold before the real training started. I had one leg extended and the other bent with my foot pushing against my thigh. With both my hands I grabbed the sole of my sandal and leaned over my extended leg until my nose touched my shin.

"The will of fire is too real", Sakura argued. She was working on stretching out her lower back and managed to twist around just enough that she was able to glare at me.

"What's propaganda?" Naruto asked; unable to look at anyone considering the back bend he was currently in.

Sasuke snorted as he momentarily gave up his efforts to ignore us all.

"It's a way to spread opinions or one-sided information to get people to buy in or commit to something", I explained before Naruto could start shouting abuse at Sasuke.

As Naruto mulled over the definition in his head, I sat up long enough to switch legs. From my right, Sakura also changed direction in her stretch. "It still doesn't apply to the will of fire", she argued.

Turning my head in her direction so it was my ear touching my shin instead of my nose, I focused my eyes on her. "Really?" I asked with it being heavily implied that I already knew the answer. "It's an ideal that's been preached to us as soon as we entered the academy". Hell, indoctrination probably started at birth if we really wanted to reflect on this. "It's an ideal stating that we love and cherish our village so much that we're willing to die. Stuff like that is how they get idiots to sign their lives away".

A handful of different things happened at once. Sasuke scoffed and looked away as he worked on his arms. As if he neither agreed nor disagreed with the sentiment and refused to waste his time with it either way. Sakura frowned with her eyes downcast as she thought. And Naruto, still in a back bend, had his mouth open; ready to loudly tell me how I was underestimating the amazingness that is shinobi life… Or so I imagined.

Because he didn't get the chance. In the same moment that Naruto opened his mouth, there was a nearly undetectable swish of chakra, and then a man clad in standard jonin garb was standing behind him as if he had been there all along. "So, we're all idiots, are we?" The man drawled as he turned a page in his book.

As he couldn't see him, Naruto was the last to realize his sensei had finally arrived. Screeching with fright, Naruto scurried away from Kakashi in some sort of over-arched crab walk before his arms and legs become uncoordinated and he ended up on his back a little bit away from Sakura.

"Kakashi-Sensei", said Sakura. It was unclear to me if she meant it as a greeting or as an announcement. But either way, it felt unnecessary.

Feeling a little tenser than I should while stretching, I raised my torso out of its flat position against my extended leg. Concentrating, I kept my composure; aiming for expressionless. It's one thing to be afraid of someone. It's a mistake to let that person see your fear.

In response to Sakura, Kakashi briefly softened the portions of his face as he looked at the girl. But then, as one does when flipping a switch, his visible eye sharpened and narrowed; zeroing in on yours truly. It was a mild amount compared to Anko's preferred dosage. But there was no mistaking it. Despite his slouched shoulders, the killing intent radiating from Kakashi told me exactly what he thought about my impromptu vocabulary lesson.

I wasn't the only one who felt it. Sasuke clenched his jaw. Sakura's hair bristled at its end. Naruto started to stammer. "Uh… uh… Sensei", he said as he pushed himself up by his elbows. "Rion didn't mean it. She just likes to say weird stuff sometimes… She thinks ninjas are super cool. I swear!"

If I wasn't trying to keep my expression free of anything readable, there'd be lines of confusion on my face. Why was Naruto defending me and lying for me?

Kakashi remained unmoved. Nor did he blink. To test the waters, I decided to correct Naruto. "No, I did mean it". Naruto turned a horrified and aghast face in my direction; his mouth agape. You'd think I was marching to my death, the way he was acting. "But don't be offended", I said; turning my vision fully on Kakashi as I pointed to the headband strapped around my forehead. "This makes me an idiot too".

The atmosphere was tense as everyone was still. Kakashi's mildly flavored killing intent didn't abate, nor did I turn away. Naruto had a small tremor in his arms, as if he was shivering, as he looked back and forth between Kakashi and me. Naruto turned his whole head to do so; even though moving his eyes would have sufficed. Sakura wasn't moving. I could hear anything from her. Was she holding her breath? And Sasuke… Well, I don't know what he's doing during all this. But I imagine it was something stationary that showed his disinterest.

And then, when Kakashi close his one visible eye, it was over. As if it was never there, the killing intent vanished. I could hear Sakura start to breathe again as Kakashi lowered his gaze back to his book. "At least you're being honest with yourself".

Naruto laughed nervously as his arms stopped shaking. They may have been able to relax. But I couldn't. Kakashi truly was the most dangerous.


It wasn't a new sensation. It wasn't even a novel one. Many times, I've had stitches in my sides or felt my lungs pushing against my ribcage as they strained for more air. I was used to dripping sweat that made my skin itch. There was nothing new to having calf muscles aching in beg of a break. The occurrence was never pleasant. As far as I was concerned. It was just something you learned to endure and downplay the discomfort. However; this time, given the context, all my bodily sensations were proving difficult to ignore.

Back in the place where we started, Kakashi stood in front of team seven and me. The four of us were in varying stages of recovery. Sakura's face was flushed enough that it was clashing with her hair. Sasuke, as stoic as ever, was doing his best to bury his fatigue. It was proficient enough that I second-guessed if he was tired at all. Though the sweaty sheen on his skin was reassuring. Either way, it was impressive breath control. Naruto was the only one standing at the ready and eager for whatever was coming next. Damn stamina junkie. Though I suppose this was a benefit to never staying still for a moment in his life. I, on the other hand, had a way to go. With my wrists and ankles bound by ninja wire and dirt caked into my clothes from being dragged, it was more than just fatigue that was keeping me from my feet.

"That was a fun game, wasn't it?" Kakashi asked his students as he stared at his book. One hand was in his pant pocket and he stood with a slouched back. He looked exactly the same as he did this morning. And that wasn't a testament to his strength or ability. More of a fact that he hadn't partaken in the game of manhunt he told us to play. It went like this:

"What are we doing today, Kakashi-Sensei?" Naruto asked once he recovered from his earlier fright; too resilient to be bogged down by others. "Learning new jutsu? Rescuing a princess? Sparring?" With each idea Naruto came up with, his energy level seemed to rise; just about bouncing in place from where he was sitting in the grass.

"I thought we'd start out the day with a game", Kakashi said; his whole being was a stark contrast to his blond student. Naruto practically vibrated at the announcement.

"A game?" Sakura asked with a suspicious lithe in her voice. "Why would we do that?"

Sasuke wore a scowl as he complained, "This is a waste of time". It was a statement I agreed with. Although, we probably had different reasons.

"On the contrary", Kakashi disagreed. "You have a new team member for the day. Playing a game can help you figure out how to work together". Even though he was relaxed there was something… something in Kakashi's voice that made the fingers on my left hand twitch. Oh, this was going to hurt.

"What game is it? What do we have to do? How do we win?" Naruto asked; seemingly not caring or not noticing the annoyed expressions of his teammates.

"It's simple", Kakashi assured us. "Rion is going to run and you three are going to capture her. First person who does wins". My whole body tensed at the announcement. "The only rule is that you must stay on the training grounds. But other than that, have fun. Ninjutsu, taijutsu, genjutsu; you can use it all".

My eyes widened at each thing Kakashi listed. This wasn't a game. This was open season! But surely the others weren't too keen about this. I mean, except for Naruto. This was right up his alley. Sakura and Sasuke though… I glanced over in their direction and was surprised to see Sakura leaning forward in interest. Wasn't she going to say something about games being immature? Or... Or this being beneath a full fledge ninja?

At least Sasuke didn't look onboard. His scowl was still firmly in place and he appeared just as unwilling as I felt.

"Think of it as training", Kakashi said; looking directly at Sasuke. "One day you probably have a mission where you'll need to find and capture someone. It wouldn't hurt to practice".

It was an uncomfortable moment (for me) as we waited to see what Sasuke's response would be. When the boy let out a gruff, "fine", my stomach dropped.

"Okay", Kakashi said; all cheer as he looked at me. "Rion, you'll have to the count of twenty before I set them loose. You ready? One… Two…"

"Wait, hang on", I tried to interject; rising to my feet as I did so.

I was ignored. "Four… Five…"

"This is going to be great", Naruto cheered as he too climbed to his feet.

Crossing my arms, I completely and full-heartedly disagreed. "Seven… Eight…"

"Um… Rion?" Sakura asked, sounding confused. "Why aren't you doing anything?"

Other than quirking an eyebrow, I didn't respond. "Nine… Ten!"

With a war cry that made my ears ring, Naruto lunged toward me. I had just enough time to sigh resignedly to my fate with Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke watching on before Naruto tackled me. With his arms wrapped around my arms and torso in an unescapable bear hug, I fell backward. It didn't take long for us to collide with the ground. Our fall ended with my head smacking against the grass and dirt and Naruto proudly declaring, "I caught Rion!"

"Yes", I drawled slowly once Naruto let me go and I was free to sit up. "Naruto won the game. Now let's do something else".

"You didn't even try", Sakura complained as her nose twitched with displeasure. Sasuke, bless him, didn't seem like he cared either way. But that's the thing about games. They can be impossible if not everyone is willing.

"No, we're going to try that again", Kakashi said. He expressed himself as if he didn't have a care in the world, but everything about him screamed relentless to me. Such an oxymoron, this one.

"Yes!" Naruto was instantly in agreement as he jumped to his feet with his fists in the air. "I'll be it this time".

"Oh, I think Rion should have another turn. She is our guest after all", Kakashi said. At this point, I'd taken to grinding my teeth to keep from reacting. If I ever get the choice, I think I'd pick training with team Gai over Kakashi. "We just need to give her some motivation". Something evil glinted in Kakashi's lone visible eye.

"And what would that be?" I challenged; my voice nearly coming out as a growl. And really, what could Kakashi do? Complain about me to Ibiki and Anko? Anko would probably laugh and I'd get a lecture for Ibiki and possibly more work. I was okay with that. Put a formal insubordination mark on my file? Go right ahead. It wasn't like I was trying to make a name for myself. Nor do I have any future plans for climbing the proverbial career ladder. Nothing wrong with remaining a T&I grunt, if you ask me. Bring his grievances to Shibi? Ha! Good luck. I didn't care what my 'father'/ clan head thought about me at all.

Unfortunately, Kakashi made known of those threats. Unfortunately, he really had done his homework. "You know, Naruto was looking forward to having you train with us", he said; momentarily ignoring his students who were watching this whole conversation as if it was some sort of ping-pong match. Although, some, or rather someone was more detached than others. "Every day he'd ask, 'when's Rion going join us?' 'She worked with team eight yesterday. Why not us?'"

"Nice of him", I said. Though the glare on my face said it was anything but.

"He also told us", Kakashi kept going as if I hadn't said anything. "About you're older sister. How you rented an apartment just for her. How you'll get up and do whatever errands or chores she wants you to do with no questions. How you became a ninja to make her happy. I wonder what your sister would say if she knew you were wasting our time and mocking our village".

My nostrils flared despite my breath hitching in my throat. I could feel Sakura and Sasuke studying me as I internally plotted the murder of their teacher. "Um… Sensei?" Naruto tried; voice lacking his usual amount of enthusiasm.

Kakashi did nothing to acknowledge him. His one visible eye remained on me. "One… Two… Three…"

I bolted.


By the time Kakashi counted to ten, I managed to hide in a tree; blocked from view by its branches and leaves. It took another five seconds for Sasuke to find me. The thin humming vibrations of ninja wire were the only warning I got before Sasuke appeared into existence. His eyes were darkly focused as he aimed to block me from utilizing the rest of the tree and tie me to the branch I was currently on.

I had to react without thinking (arguably my least favorite thing). Lighting my chakra just enough, I allowed gravity to take over until I was no longer upright. Then, I applied just enough so I could stand upside down on the branch.

The problem with ninja wire is that if you're not successful, you're stuck with a bunch of lines you either have to save or cut loose. Sasuke chose the latter. Allowing me time to scurry away like a bug fleeing from being squished. Just as well too. Because moments later, a kunai impaled itself into the underside of the branch I had been occupying.

Bounding from one tree trunk to another and sticking like a raccoon using her claws, I glanced down; ignoring the feeling of rough tree bark testing the callouses of my fingers. Sakura stood on the forest floor. Her legs were bent in the form we were taught to use when throwing kunai. In one of her hands, she already had another blade prepared. "Oi!" I yelled down at her; making sure to keep an eye on Sasuke in my peripherals. "The game is to capture. Not kill!"

With the wind musing her hair behind her shoulders as if it were acting as some sort of cape, Sakura yelled back. "If you couldn't dodge that, you deserved to be hit!"

My eyes narrowed as Sasuke began to move. What happened to the Sakura who was intimidated by her own shadow? I think I preferred her. Without any more time to spare, I released my chakra; allowing myself to fall in a protective ball form. Just in time to avoid Sasuke's chakra-charged kick.

As soon as my feet were on the ground I ran. With only the scent of oak as my company, I left Sasuke and Sakura to regroup. Fine. If I couldn't hide. I'd run, I thought. After all, that's what Kakashi told me to do. He'd have nothing to tattle about if I did exactly what he said.

Except running didn't work. Despite weaving a random pattern through the trees and bush and even trying to create a false trail, Naruto found me. Crossing my path, I barely had enough time to skid to a halt; kicking up fallen leaves in the process and causing them to swish around my ankles.

In front of me a few feet away, stood Naruto. Once we made eye contact, Naruto grinned. "I'm gonna win this game again, believe it!" He declared. "And you're not going to let me win this time".

Admittedly, that had been my first thought. "By yourself?" I asked. Straining my ears, I tried to tune into my surroundings as I kept my eyes focused on Naruto. No running feet. No rustling tree branches that were too big to be disturbed by the wind. No hairs standing up on my arms or the back of my neck as some sort of warning. So, no second attempt from Sasuke or Sakura yet… hopefully. "I just escaped your teammates. They were working together. I don't think you can manage this on your own", I goaded.

Predictably, Naruto didn't take it very well. "When you're as awesome as me", he started to say; using his thumb to point to himself. "You're never alone". With that grandiose statement out of the way, Naruto made a hand sign by holding his index and pointer fingers together on each hand and crossing them. I tried not to smile. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Naruto loudly announced as a dozen gray smokey clouds popped into existence.

Knowing cover when I see it, I wasted no time in performing my own hand signs. Dog. Boar. Ram.

When the smoke cleared, the only things visible were trees and a bunch of blonds. A dozen, maybe a baker's dozen, Narutos stood around the clearing. They were indiscernible from each other as they peered around; blinking in confusion. "Where did she go?" The Narutos asked themselves. Some of them even scratched their heads. Myself included.

I'd never transformed into Naruto before. It felt… short. "She didn't just disappear!" One of the Narutos insisted.

"What if she transformed into one of us?" I yelled in my best Naruto voice. Something that was significantly easy to accomplish when under a transformation jutsu. From all around me, a doze Narutos gawked in alarm.

"Ah! Not again!" They all complained; causing an echoing sound effect that was kind of grating.

Again? I guess this plan did feel vaguely familiar. Though I couldn't remember who, when, or how. Making sure my movements were exaggerated, I turned to the closest Naruto clone. "You look funny. I bet the imposter is you!" I yelled waving an accusing finger in the clone's face.

"ME!" The clone responded indignantly. "You're the one who looks weird. I'm taller than that!"

"Wait!" Another clone yelled. "This is just like last time".

The Naruto clones reached the same conclusion at the same time. And not wanting to be singled out, I called out my predicted answer in sync with them. "We have to release the jutsu". Twelve Narutos plus me formed the same hand sign. A bunch of smokey clouds popped into being once more. This time I didn't wait for them to clear. Tiger. Boar. Ox. Dog. Snake.

This time, when the clouds cleared there was only one Naruto and a suspicious branch that hadn't been there before. "Aaah!" I heard Naruto yell in frustration as I ran; this time jumping from tree branch to tree branch. How long did I have to keep this up? How long until Kakashi was satisfied?


All morning was the answer. After escaping Naruto, Sakura found me again. One purple paint pellet I still had left over helped me slip away from her. It's amazing how single-minded a girl can become when there's a huge paint stain on her dress. But after Sakura I had Sasuke to attend with again. Fast, ruthless, and never one to play games, getting away from Sasuke a second time earned me multiple bruises to my person and cost me two smoke bombs and a good portion of my chakra reserves.

I was out of breath and running low on… well, everything when Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke decided to come after me as a team. Sasuke with his ninja wire. Naruto with his clones. And Sakura serving as a distraction. I flipped, twisted, attacked, and sneaked to get away from them. Anything I could think of that didn't involve forest fires, I attempted. But the odds were against me. Kakashi said the one who caught me first would win. Meaning there was no way for me to win. So, the only way this game could end was through a successful capture.

As my muscles began to burn from exertion, and my breathing became more and more labored, I slowed. Not just physically, but my mind too. Sasuke and Naruto were able to land more blows that I could easily dodge before. And Sakura's interjections were harder to ignore or get around than before. By the time all four of us had worked up sweaty sheens to our skin, Sakura managed to trip me and I had my ankles and wrists bound in ninja wire before I could make any protests.

The sun was high in the sky by the time they dragged be back to the clearing where Kakashi was waiting for us; his book still in hand.

"That was a fun game, wasn't it?" Kakashi asked his students as he stared at his book. One hand was in his pant pocket and he stood with a slouched back.

"The best!" Naruto agreed with an ear-to-ear grin as he stretched his arms behind his head. "You should have seen my shadow clones and what Rion did next. Then Sasuke was like… and then Sakura… and then as a team we…" What Naruto wasn't saying, he pantomimed. "Can we do that again sometime?" Naruto asked. Seeming to pick up that he was the only one who was enthused by the idea.

"Maybe", Kakashi said lightly as he snapped his book shut and pocketed it. "But not today. We have work to do". His one visible eye flashed over to my still panting form. It was sharp enough that I flinched involuntarily. "That is if Rion is ready".

"Work sounds good, Kakashi-Sensei", I said in between breaths as my heartbeat slowed. If I had to, I'd describe Kakashi's teaching style as 'learn as you do'. Instruction was minimal and the main points were left to be discovered independently. As I knelt on my hands and feet in front of team seven, the message I picked up on was, 'Shape up. Stop being a nuisance'. Unfortunately for both of us, I didn't know how to be any other way.