Study Time

Edit 7/5/20: Some grammatical errors were fixed


That weekend

The weekend. God, I need a break. After what happened, I feel like my knees will give out from under me. I wasn't tired. I was really just done. With everything. All because bad memories that I thought I had buried are now being revealed.

I thought I was going to Japan so that I can leave my past behind, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. And it all started with Saito-san.

Yesterday, I found out something that I wasn't supposed to find out. Yesterday, I found out something that I would rather forget. I guess innocence is a virtue. But, well, too late now. The cat's out of the bag.

Yesterday, I found out that Saito-san cuts. Yesterday, I found out that she does self-harm. The reason, I don't know. She bolted before I could ask her. And I wanna talk to her today about it. But I know she's not gonna be willing to talk.

I was trying to get a hold of her last night. I was trying to text her on her cell, but I kept getting left on read. I never really text her. In fact, I never really text anybody. The only person who texts me frequently is Ono-chan.

I don't wanna ask any of the club members where she lives so that I can go and talk to her myself because I a) don't wanna look like a creep and b) I don't wish to intrude. And showing up at her door just sounded very clingy. But then again, clingy is something I need to be right now. Maybe clingy isn't the word. Maybe worried? I don't fuckin' know.

I should just stop worrying about this for now. It's not like I can do anything about it anyways.

And so, my dumbass opened up my laptop and booted up a game.

After loading up my game, which was Rainbow Six Siege, I went over to Discord to see if anyone of my friends are on. Luckily enough, my usual squad is on as well. I asked them if they wanted to join me for a few ranked games and they agreed.

We partied up and chatted for a bit, just talking about random stuff. A lot of the time, they're asking me what it's like here in Japan. Most of these guys haven't been out of their home countries US and UK. I just gave them another glimpse of the outside world.

We got into a game real quickly. We saw the scenario that we were playing in the game. Hostage on House. The rules of the game were simple. We all choose our operators at the beginning of the round, then in the prep phase, the attacking team sends out drones to scout out the area while the defending team fortifies their location. Then when the game starts, the attacking team has to either extract the hostage or eliminate the opposing team while the defending team defends the hostage. If one side accidentally eliminates the hostage, that side loses the round.

After playing for a while, we came to the final round. Match point. The opposing team is in the lead by a point. If we win this round, we would have the chance to make a comeback. If the other team wins this round, we lose. And because we're playing ranked, we're gonna lose progress.

We were attacking for the final round. We all pick our operators. I pick Fuze, the operator who has a device that, when deployed, can shoot grenades into another room from behind a wall. Not a good idea for a scenario like this, but whatever.

After scouting, we found out that the enemy team decided to barricade themselves into the hostage room, in the child's bedroom.

I'll spare you the details and get to the ending. So I was there. The rest of my team was eliminated because the enemy team decided to spawnpeek, wiping out the entire team except me, who spawned on the other side of the map. I figured that I wasn't going to win by myself since the entire enemy team was in that room and I was alone.

My phone started going off. Someone was calling me, pulling my attention away from the game. I looked on the screen and it was Takeuchi-san calling.

I took off my headphones to answer the call and put my phone on my shoulder. "Hey Takeuchi-san," I said into the receiver while playing the game at the same time.

"Hey Lee-san," said she, "Do you have time to come down to the library today? Natsuki and Sayori wanted some help studying."

"Yeah yeah, sure," I said, "I'll be there." At the same time, I press the button that made my operator place his gadget on the wall leading into the objective.

"Great! Does 2:30 sound good?" asked she.

"Yeah, no problem," I said, "I'll be sure to wake Ono-chan up."

"Alrighty then," she exclaimed, "See you later!" She then hung up. I smirked to myself and pushed the button that fires my operator's gadget. I then put my headphones on. All I heard was the Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! of the grenades being launched. And the screaming of my teammates.

"You fucking idiot!" exclaimed one, "That's the hostage room!" Too late, I thought as I heard the Boom! Boom! Boom! of the grenades detonating. As well as the text that pops up: "ROUND 9 LOST: YOUR TEAM KILLED THE HOSTAGE". On top of that, the killfeed in the top right corner of my screen shows that I eliminated the entire enemy team plus one with the gadget.

"Aw c'mon man!" cried out another teammate, "I was almost at Plat!"

"Ah fuck, sorry guys," I tried to say, "I didn't know what I was doing."

After that, we played a few more matches to make up for the lost progress. I have to say, not my finest moment.

Finally, after a few hours of playing, we ended up getting off. I closed my laptop shut and went downstairs.

The Kobayashi's were out at work this weekend, so I was at home alone. I had the house to myself and I don't intend on going out until 1 o'clock. I looked at my phone. 10:35 AM. Still early in the morning. Well, not early I guess, but for a certain someone next door, it is early for them.

I should see if Ono-chan is awake right now. Hell, if she's up at this time, I'd be proud. That sleepyhead. I swear, she would wake up at 4 in the afternoon if she wanted too. In fact, she did. I had to wake her up myself to make sure she at least eats something. I'm beginning to feel like I'm taking care of her in her own house.

Unlocking my phone, I went to the Message app. There was the convo between Ono-chan and me at the top. She likes to text me a lot. I guess she had nothing better to do. Then again, no one texts me anyway.

"Are you awake?" I texted her. No reply. Typical, I thought as I texted her one more time. "Hello? Anyone there? Ono-chan, wake up, sleepy-head."

"You really gotta stop waking me up on the weekend, Lee-kun," she texted in response, "Let a girl get her beauty sleep, will ya?"

"You and I both know that you don't need beauty sleep," I texted.

"Aw! Is it because I'm already pretty?" asked she.

"No, it's because you're always asleep," I said.

"You're not gonna say I'm pretty?" she asked, insisting that she was pretty. To be fair, she is cute. In a… erm… not so pretty way.

"No," I simply replied. And because of that, my snide remark didn't elicit a reaction out of Ono-chan. At least, she didn't text. For about two minutes. And in those two minutes, I was worried I actually made Ono-chan mad or something. Seriously, not saying anything after an insult feels very stressful for some reason. I probably should just go ahead and check up on her myse-

Knock! Knock! Knock! Someone loudly rapped on the door. Or maybe she's coming here for a change.

Dressed only in my checkered PJ pants and a gray shirt that said "ARMY" in black across the chest, I answered the door. And there was Ono-chan standing in the doorway, her hands on her hips and her lips curled in a pout. Her hair was kind of messy, the bow in her hair slightly crooked.

"You are a mean boy, you know that?" berated Ono-chan, "And I don't like mean boys."

"Well, you obviously do," I said, "Since you took the time to change out of what I assume were your jammies and come over here to tell me just that."

"Whatever you say, you bad boy," said she, crossing her arms and smirking.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "Anyways, did you eat? I'm about to make some breakfast. You wanna join me?"

"Sure!"

A few hours later

After eating breakfast, Ono-chan and I hung out in my room. And before you say anything, even though we were alone, we didn't do anything naughty, got it? All we did was chill out in my room. Nothing much to say.

Really, we just stayed in my room for the rest of the morning. The two of us just hung out, talking small talk, using our phones, playing games. We played a game of Go Fish with a pack of cards I bought earlier this week (of course I won), watched a movie, yadda yadda yadda.

After that, I told Ono-chan to go home to get her stuff ready before we go to meet with Takeuchi-san and Nakano-san. I changed out of my jammies into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and headed out. Ono-chan was waiting for me at my door. She had a light blue cloth handbag that I would assume had her stuff.

"You ready?" I asked. She simply smiled and together we went on our way.

When we got to the library where we said we were gonna meet up, there sat Nakano-san and Takeuchi-san on the bench outside of the doors. Looks like they started before us, with a textbook open on Nakano-san's lap, with Takeuchi-san leaning in and pointing at things in the book before she looked up at me.

"Late to the party, are we?" I smiled while holding my arms out. Nakano-san looked up too and rolled her eyes.

"There you are!" exclaimed Takeuchi-san. "We went and started ahead of time."

"Started without us?" asked Ono-chan.

"Well, I wanna pass my English test, alright?" sneered Nakano-san. "Figured I'd start without you two."

"I can help you with English," I said, shrugging my shoulders, "I'm American. I speak English."

"And I'm British, I can help her," Takeuchi-san said with a smile.

"Ah, well then," I said in a British accent, "Cheers luv', the cavalry's here."

"I don't care, can someone just please help me?" asked Nakano-san, who was serious about passing her test coming up. We should stop dicking around and get to work.

"Yeah, let's get started I guess," I said, "Shall we go inside?"

The library was a pretty small library. I'm not saying that it's bad because of that. In fact, it feels a little more homey, I guess I could say. It's like a small, quaint, little library. Honestly, it's probably the best place to study.

On the inside, the library felt big. It's small on the outside, but grand on the inside. The library was shaped like a circle. In the middle of the building, there were tables. Bookshelves surrounded the tables. In the back were more shelves filled with rows and rows of books. In the back were some more study tables. We decided to study there.

Nakano-san had to study for her English test and World History test, which was supposedly next week. Ono-chan, on the other hand, needed help with English and Math. I'm ass at math, so Takeuchi-san volunteered to help Ono-chan. I decided to help Nakano-san.

English was easy to teach her. I mean, when you have a person who speaks English fluently as a tutor, you'll learn a thing or two. The one flaw she really had was that she had a very heavy accent, which is not a big deal. When I was learning Spanish at school, I ended up sounding like a drunk Asian. At least I was able to understand Nakano-san's English.

World history was a little harder. Here, she was learning about the history of China. Honestly, it wasn't my best suit. Hell, I had to memorize the list of dynasties of China when I took AP World History, and I had to remember them in order and their most significant thing about them. What sucked even more was that I had to write an essay in 45 minutes about all of them for the final exam. Damn, I hated that part.

"Why is it so confusing?" grumbled Nakano-san, her brow furrowed in frustration. "Who cares whether the Yuan dynasty was Mongolian or that the Qing was Manchurian?"

"Why do we have to learn any of it?" I asked as I opened a can of soda that I got from the vending machine when I went to the restroom earlier, "It's because we gotta lick the shoes of those guys who are in charge, that's why. Just quit whining and deal with it."

"Argh! This is so stupid!" she exclaimed, her hand on her forehead, "When are we gonna use this?"

"Never, but those guys who decide the curriculum wants us to learn it, so we have to," I said, sipping out of that can of soda, "Just embrace the suck. That's what my brother always tells me."

"Embrace the suck?" Nakano-san asked, "Where did he get a silly phrase like that from?"

"Where?" I said, putting down the can of soda, "Basic training. He was in the Navy and he had to go through that torture."

"The Navy?"

"Yeah," I said, "He had to go through boot camp before getting in."

"Was it hard?" asked Nakano-san.

"According to him, it's only the beginning that's hard," I said, "He told me that the first few weeks were the hardest because everyone's yelling at him and everything, but he got used to it afterward. That's where he learned about embracing the suck, which applies to what we're doing right now."

"So what?" asked Nakano-san, "Just deal with it?"

"Yeah, just deal with it," I said, "Get through with it. Even if it is bull. Now get back to work."

"Ugh, fine," she grumbled before returning to her textbook.

After a few hours

"Ah! Finally! Done with studying!" exclaimed Ono-chan as she slammed her book closed and stretched her arms out. Honestly, we've all been sitting on our butts the entire time. My fatass is probably used to it, but the girls, not so much.

"Good job, Sayori, Natsuki," said Takeuchi-san, "I think you guys will pass all of your tests next week."

"Ugh," said Nakano-san as she plopped her head onto the table, "For once, I wanna go home."

"I wanna go shopping!" Ono-chan loudly exclaimed, raising her hand in excitement.

"Me too," said Takeuchi-san, "I think we earned it."

"No!" objected Nakano-san, "I am going home. I have a date with my bed and I don't wanna be late."

"You sure?" asked Takeuchi-san, "Even though it's not far from here, I don't want you to go alone."

"I'll go," I said. Nakano-san looked up at me and I met her gaze. "Besides, like you said, it's not far from here."

"Y-you don't have to," Nakano-san stammered, her face a little flushed, "I can go by myself."

"Well, I don't want you to go alone, now do I?" I said.

"Fine," grumbled Nakano-san, "If you insist."

From there, we separated ways. Ono-chan and Takeuchi-san made their way to the subway to catch a train going to the city. Meanwhile, I walked with Nakano-san to her house.

"Did you talk to Yuri yet?" asked Nakano-san. "Yesterday was weird. What happened?"

"Yesterday was weird. Hell, I don't really know what happened," I shrugged. "And no, I wasn't able to talk to Saito-san. She didn't answer any of my texts or calls."

"Well, I guess you're in luck," said Nakano-san with a cheeky smile, "She lives in the apartment building right next to me." Perfect! God, what kind of luck is that?

"I knew that you guys lived close together," I said, "Just didn't know you guys lived that close."

"Well, she's new to the neighborhood. She moved there last year."

"Great!" I exclaimed, "You have no freakin' idea how lucky I am."

Nakano-san cocked her head to the side. "Just one question," she asked, "How many times did you text her?"

"Uh, I dunno," I said, "I think around twenty times? And she didn't respond."

Nakano-san stopped in her tracks. I kept going a couple of feet before I stopped too and turned to face her. "What's wrong?"

"Twenty times," smirked Nakano-san, snorting and covering her mouth and nose, "I'd call you desperate, but that's just sad."

"Story of my life," I said, shaking my head in my own disappointment.

Shortly after that, we got to Nakano-san's house. The house, in my opinion, needed a bit of a touch-up. The paint was peeling in some places, the lawn wasn't exactly in tip-top shape. Really, it kind of peeved me if I gotta be honest. I really wanted to clean her house up.

To the left of her house was a tall apartment building, probably about three floors tall. It's smooth gray granite walls gave off a more modern vibe, which contrasted with Nakano-san's one-story house. The balconies faced Nakano-san's house and the row of houses on the street. Some of the balconies had lines with clothes hanging from them.

The building towered over the house. I would assume at times, the sun would be blocked out by the building. You know, it kind of reminds me of those two characters' houses in that one anime. Toradora I think it was called.

Nakano-san told me that Saito-san's apartment was on the second floor. After I watched her enter her house safely, I made my way to Saito-san's apartment.

The sun was still high up. It was around five o'clock in the afternoon. Still, that's plenty of time for me to talk to Saito-san. But shit, how do I talk to her about her arm? About yesterday?

When I got to the door, I saw that there was a doorbell next to the knob. I hit the button, hearing the chime of the automated doorbell on the inside. A few seconds later, I heard the sound of locks being undone. The door creaked open and there was Saito-san. She was wearing a white hoodie and yoga pants. She peeked her head through the crack of the door.

"L-Lee-san?" she stammered, "W-what are you doing here?"

"Hey Saito-san," I said as calmly as I can, "I was dropping Nakano-san off and figured I'd visit you. S-sorry if this was unexpected, I don't wish to intrude."

"N-no!" she stammered, "In fact, come in!" She opened the door wider to reveal her apartment.

The entrance led to a narrow hallway, with a closet on one side of the hallway and the bathroom on the other side. The hallway led to the living room. Saito-san told me to take off my shoes before I came in, so I entered barefoot.

Her apartment was really clean. There was hardly dust anywhere. It seemed like she was situated well. I wonder if anyone lives with her.

"Please, go ahead and sit down anywhere," she beckoned as she walked into the kitchen, which was attached to the living room. I made my way to the living room. There was a black leather three seater against the left wall, facing a flat-screen TV on a shelf filled with books. A little wooden coffee table was in front of the sofa. There was also a small dining table with two chairs. Does she share this place with her parents? This is pretty small for three people. Two, I'd assume is enough.

I sat down on the three seater, careful not to bother anything. On the table was just a pile of books. It seems like she's enjoying herself here.

"Care for some tea?" asked Saito-san.

"Yes please," I said, to which Saito-san took out two teacups and saucers. She poured hot water that was boiling on a kettle into the cups, then put a tea bag in each cup. Bringing the saucers with the cups on them, she carefully set them down on the coffee table in front of us and sat down on the couch.

"S-so what brings you here?" she asked.

"Ah, well," I paused. Crap, what do I say? Should I just ask her right away? Or just have some small talk?

Saito-san must've seen me freeze. For a second, she had a look of disappointment on her face, and then a look of acceptance, as if she had understood what I was going to say.

"I see," she said, her voice barely audible, "This is about yesterday, am I correct?"

"Y-yeah," I said, "I, uh… yeah." That was it. That's all I got.

She tugged on her sleeve and turned away, her face red with blush. "I n-never talked to anyone about that," she said, her voice even quieter, "I-it's embarrassing."

"Alright," I said, "let's talk about something different for now." I looked around her apartment and made an assumption. "Do you live with anyone else? Your parents? I don't think you can have this whole place to yourself without sharing."

"I, uh," she stuttered, "I live alone. For the most part." She shifted in her seat. "My mom's always working abroad, but she wanted me to stay in Japan. Before last year, I kept moving around all the time. I never had any long term friends. My mom figured I should just settle down here. So she got me an apartment."

"Sounds like she's a bit of a workaholic," I said, "You sure you're okay with that decision to just stick you here by yourself?"

"Y-yeah," said Saito-san, "I actually wanted to settle down. I was always with my mother and I figured I should become a little more independent. So here we are." Strange. What about Papa Saito? Where's he at?

"What about your dad?" I asked, "Surely, he would be here."

"He would," said Saito-san, her face drooping into a glum look, "But he died in an accident when I was really young."

"Oh," I said, noticing my mistake, "I'm sorry to hear about that."

Saito-san shook her hands and head. "N-no! Don't be sorry!" she exclaimed, "It's fine… In fact, I should show you something. Follow me." She stood up and beckoned me to do the same. I did and she ended up leading me into her bedroom, which was behind us.

She went over to her desk and knelt down. She opened a drawer and took out the only thing that was in there. It was a wooden case.

"My dad was a big fan of blades," she explained, "Big swords to tiny daggers, he would always get something every time he visited someplace new. My mom also adds to the collection." She opened the case. Inside was a bunch of exotic blades. "My dad gave away all of his swords, but he kept the knives. When he died, I inherited the blades."

She picked one up. It was a knife that was hidden between two handles. A type of hidden blade that was used recreationally because of the high skill ceiling needed to use it. "A butterfly knife," I stated as I gestured to see it. Saito-san handed me the blade carefully despite the blade being hidden inside the handles.

"Yep," she explained, "A butterfly knife. My dad got it when he went to the Philippines."

"No way," I said, smiling, "Can I flip it?"

"S-sure," she stammered, "Just be careful. It's an actual blade." Jokes on you, I actually know how to use one of these things.

I unlatched the safety handle that held the two handles closed and did a simple trick that involved me rotating my hand and letting the blade hit my knuckles. I did a simple opening and closing trick. "That's cool," I said in awe as I handed the blade back to her.

I took another look inside the case. It had a lot of exotic knives such as tantos, karambits, and kunais, as well as custom made blades. There were also ninja stars in there too. I would expect they would be sharpened.

"You got a thing for knives, eh?" I said.

"Y-yeah," she stammered as she put the case away, "I like them because they remind me of my dad." She looked away and tugged at her sleeve. "I shouldn't keep these knives though. With my arm and all-"

"Saito-san," I said, "I, um…" I struggled to find the right words. "I wanna help you."

"H-how?" she stammered.

"I've dealt with this kind of thing before," I said, "My sister does the same thing. The cutting. I wanna help you as I did with my sister."

"R-really?" she asked.

"I'll… help you," I said, "Tell you what, every time you get the urge, call me. Okay? And I won't confiscate your knives. I know you care about them a lot. And for now, I'll keep this a secret between us. Got it?"

"Th-thank you," she stammered, "But why are you helping me?"

"You kidding?" I said, "You're my friend. I wanna help you." The moment I said that I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took out my phone and looked at the screen. It was Ono-chan texting me. Her message said that she was waiting at the train station.

"Looks like I gotta go," I said as I pocketed my phone. I looked at Saito-san once more. "See you at school?"

"Y-yeah," she said, "S-see you then."

When I left, I quickly made my way to Ono-chan and we walked home together. That night, I ended up contemplating about what I was going to do with my time here in Japan. I thought about helping Saito-san and her habit. And because of that, I thought about how I helped my sister. How I tried to save her from herself.

Choosing to help Saito-san was a really big step. I really was going to try and save her from her habit of cutting. Little did I know, that choice ended up dragging me back into my past. A past that I would have to face again.


Honorifics: (Underlined honorifics are the ones used in current chapter)

-san: Most common, it is an all-purpose suffix that can be used in any situation where politeness is expected. Basically the titles Mr. Ms. etc.

-sama: This suffix is one level higher than "-san" and is used to confer great respect.

-kun: This suffix is commonly used at the end of boys' names to express endearment.

-chan: Feminine version of -kun.

Senpai: Superior/Upperclassmen.

Sensei: Master.


A/N: I wrote the majority of this chapter in one day. I feel like that's the most I've written in one sitting. Good God, my head and eyes hurt after that. Even worse is that I have a friggin' AP Lit exam coming up. Yay, more writing.

Well, here we are. Sawyer's going to commit to helping Yuri. Will he be able to help Yuri? Stay tuned and keep reading. Peace!