Poem Panic
A/N: Minor edit: Formatting of the poems
The Monday after
"You ready?" I asked Ono-chan, who was finishing up her meal of blueberry pancakes in the morning. She was already dressed for school, her white blouse somehow still white even though she was enjoying her pancakes with syrup.
"Gib be ah binute," she mumbled, her mouth still stuffed with pancakes. The sight of her cheeks puffed up like a squirrel made me laugh a bit. She is like a little kid.
"Relax," I chuckled, "I'm just joking."
I woke up early today. Somehow, I woke up before my alarm. That might be because I went to bed at a reasonable time for once, right? Nah, maybe not.
When I woke up, was up as well, making some blueberry pancakes. For some reason, he accidentally made a couple of extra pancakes. I don't know how that's supposed to work, but honestly, it was too early in the morning to try and wrap my head around it. So, instead of my fatass eating the extra couple of pancakes, I decided to bring it to Ono-chan so that I don't have to whip something up when I'm there.
After swallowing her food, Ono-chan ran upstairs to grab her bag. When she came down, I was already at the door, waiting for her. And from there, we made our way to school.
On the road to school, we were pretty much alone together. It was just Ono-chan and I walking down a long and narrow path called the sidewalk. We didn't run into anyone on the street, at least, at the start. It was just me and Ono-chan walking along in the September sun.
It was late September. I've already been here for half a year already. Half of my adventure in Japan is already gone. It feels like time has gone by fast. From my first day of school and eating Nakano-san's cupcakes for the first time, to going to Shimoda at Takeuchi-san's beach house, to going home for a few days, to… well, now.
A slight breeze blew past us. A cool, almost dry breeze, mind you, not a hot and humid one. Fall was approaching. To be honest, I can't wait to see what it's like to see fall and winter here. Back home, it's really been two seasons: summer and really fuckin' hot summer.
"You got this test?" I asked Ono-chan, who looked a little worried. A couple of days ago, we ended up studying at a library with Takeuchi-san and Nakano-san. Ono-chan had two tests today, one for Math, one for English. Though they're just tests, it's not the end of the world, right?
"Y-yeah," she stammered, trying to sound enthusiastic but failing. Obviously, something's wrong.
"What's that matter?" I asked. Ono-chan paused for a second.
"Ehehe," she nervously giggled, "The thing is… If I fail one of these tests, they're gonna put me in remedial classes after school. Which means that I won't be able to go to the club for a while."
My brow furrowed. "Don't tell me your grades were that bad that they'll keep you after school for extra classes," I scolded like an older brother.
"Well," she squealed, nervously putting her two index fingers together and giving a nervous grin. "Hehehe…" Fantastic. Great. And I thought it was Nakano-san who needed the help.
I shook my head in disappointment with my hands on my hips. "Well, you better pass them," I mumbled. I looked away from Ono-chan for a second to say one more thing. "It's less fun in the club without you," I whispered softly, hoping Ono-chan won't hear.
"What was that?" she asked, her head tilted sideways.
"N-nothing!" I exclaimed, "I said that you better pass or else."
When we got to the gates of the school, Ono-chan was dragged away by one of her teachers who wanted to talk to her about her grades. I guess it's better for her to be talking with her teacher instead of sticking with me. She sounds like she really needs to work on her grades.
None of my exchange buddies were with me and I couldn't find any other familiar face, so I decided to just sit down at one of the benches nearby the school gate.
The school is surrounded by a brick wall. The gates had an inscription beside it saying the name of the school and the gate itself was made of black metal bars. Basically, something that you'll see in a high-end private school. Hell, back home, most schools, public and private, don't even have a wall on its perimeter. Usually, it's a simple chainlink fence. Schools here are considered rich compared to schools in the US.
I still had around 10 minutes until class starts, so I sat down on one of the benches, just listening to music from my phone. In my hands was a piece of paper with my poem. I decided to write one that Saito-san would like. Dunno why I wrote it for her, I just felt like it.
"Watch out! Coming through!" I heard someone cry out. The voice came from the gate nearby. I turned my head to see who it was. There, I saw two people who were standing together step back in a hurry. A third person then zipped past them riding a skateboard. What made the whole situation even more bizarre was that the person riding the board was someone I would've figured would be the last person I would see on a skateboard.
Takeuchi-san stepped off of the board that she was riding on and stomped on the end of the board, which launched the board up. She caught the board and held it under her arm. Honestly, she looked a little like that type of quiet cool girl in those cheesy high school romance movies. If she was wearing ripped jeans, a flannel shirt, and sneakers, she'd probably totally rock that look.
"So sorry about that!" she chuckled to the two girls that she almost ran over. They all giggled and forgave her. I stood up and walked to her. Takeuchi-san noticed me and her face brightened up.
"Hi Lee-san!" she exclaimed with a smile.
"Takeuchi-san?" I asked, "I didn't know you could skate."
"You didn't expect the English rich girl to know how to skate?" asked Takeuchi-san, a smug smile on her face.
"Nope!" I said with a smirk, "I would've figured you to be the type of person who rides in a car to school with your own personal chauffeur or something."
"Please, I don't even like riding with a chauffeur," she said, "It gets boring because I only just sit there."
"Well then," I suggested, "Why don't you just drive yourself? It's more fun when you're behind the wheel."
"Honestly, I would if I could," she said, crossing her arms and adjusting her stance so that she put her weight on one leg. "But, well, I don't know how to drive. And even if I did, I don't have a license, and my parents refuse to let me get a license."
"Seriously?" I said.
"Yep," she said, pursing her lips, "They thought it was unrefined for me to be driving myself in a car. They thought that, because of our money, I don't have to work hard." That's a fat F right there.
"Oof," I said, "Sound's like being rich really is a bitch sometimes."
"Yeah," she said, "It really is, and forgive my language, a fucking bitch." Hearing a girl curse in a British accent. Never thought that would be a turn on.
"In the words of a certain book called 'The Outsiders'," I quoted, "Things are rough all over."
"Indeed," said Takeuchi-san, "And so, since I'm not allowed to drive myself and I don't want to sit in the back of a car all morning, I figured I'd just settle for something else."
"And that is skating?" I guessed.
"Well," she paused as if to think about what she was going to say as she looked up at the sky for a second before looking right back at me. "Usually, I either take the subway or ride a bike. I rarely use a skateboard."
"Oh really?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said, "My bike had a flat tire but I didn't want to take the subway-"
"So instead, you decided to skate to school," I finished her sentence.
"Precisely," she said, "Besides, it's exercise and it's a green alternative to taking a car."
"Ah well," I argued, "Nothing beats a nice drive through town. Feeling the wind in your hair as you roll down the window while listening to some music on the radio."
"Do you know how to drive?" Takeuchi-san asked.
"Yeah," I said, "I do. Sometimes I go for drives down by the harbor when I'm bored."
"My, how lovely it would be to just go for a ride," she said, looking up as if she was daydreaming, "Sitting in the passenger's seat, feet on the dash, the boy I love driving behind the wheel. The wind racing through my long hair as the afternoon sun catches my eyes."
"Who knows," I shrugged, "I may not be the man of your dreams, but maybe you could visit me in Hawaii and we could just cruise around the island."
"That sounds amazing," she said, her eyes almost glittering.
"In the meantime," I said, "Lemme check out that board."
Lunch
Naturally, my friends Takeuchi-san and CJ left me to do their own thing for lunch, so I decided to eat somewhere else other than in the classroom. With my bento box in one hand and a bottle of water in another, I wandered out of the classroom looking for a place to eat.
I didn't want to eat outside in the courtyard. Although the weather was perfect for a little picnic, I just didn't want to eat on a bench. Besides, if I don't find anyone to eat with, I might look like a loner eating on a park bench.
So I opted for another option. The library.
I wasn't really hungry to be honest. My breakfast was more than enough today and if I eat anymore food, I'll probably get fat. Besides, the only thing in my bento box today was just a turkey sandwich that I intend on eating later.
I entered the library and looked around. There were a few students there. A lot of them were by themselves either eating a small lunch, reading a book, or studying. It is a good place to study and eat lunch after all. And last minute studying before a test really comes in clutch.
There was someone familiar sitting at one of the tables. She was alone with her nose buried so deep in her book, I thought it would point through the spine of the hard cover book. Well, I'm exaggerating a little. The point is, she was focused in her book.
I sat down right next to the violet-haired Saito-san, which in doing so snapped her out of her little daze. She didn't expect me to sit right next to her at that time, so she was surprised. "L-Lee-san?" she stammered, "You scared me!"
"Relax, I'm not gonna bite," I said with a smile, "What are you reading?"
"J-just rereading that book," she said, "Portrait of Markov. It is my favorite novel after all."
"Must really love that book, huh?" I jabbed. "Can't blame you though. It is a good book. It's interesting and it keeps you interested throughout the novel."
"You know, if a book can keep you buried in it, that is how you know it is a good book." Saito-san slightly grinned when she said that, "That's why I joined the literature club. I wanted to find more books that are that good."
"You joined for the literature?" I joked.
"O-of course," she stammered, "What, did you join for another reason?"
"Partly?" I said, my voice going one octave higher, "I joined for Nakano-san's cupcakes and to hang out with you guys."
"Oh?" she asked, "Any reason why you wanted to hang out with us? I mean, we are a weird bunch after all."
"Well," I said, uncapping my water bottle but not taking a drink from it, "I joined because I like you guys. That's all."
I looked at Saito-san and saw her face becoming more and more red. As if I told her that I liked her. Maybe in that sort of way, if you catch my drift.
"A-as a friend!" I stammered, "As a friend! I'm not one of those guys chasing after girls!"
"You like a freak like me?" she said, her face gloomy all of the sudden. She looked down at her arms that held her book, as if to think about her… erm… condition. And then she looked at me, her face full of different emotions that I couldn't put my finger on.
"You kidding?" I said with a smile, trying to lift her spirits, "I've known people who were worse at home! Everyone has their quirks."
Saito-san looked back down at her arms, maybe not in shame, but rather in embarrassment. "Th-thank you," she stammered under her breath, barely audible despite us being in a quiet library, "Y-you're a good friend."
From there, she returned to my book. I stood up for a minute to grab a book, just a random light novel that I found interesting, that being the light novel "Youjo Senki". I brought it back with me and sat down where I was sitting down earlier, cracking open the book and reading next to Saito-san.
In the quietness of the library, I could hear some bits and pieces of conversations between the other students. Some conversations perked my ears. Many of them were talking about the relationships of high schoolers. You know, average lunchroom gossip. And then I heard two guys talking behind me. They were behind a shelf, so they couldn't see me. I couldn't even see them. I just assumed that they were there.
"You hear about those exchange students from Hawaii?" asked the first guy.
"Yeah? What about them?" asked the second.
"So you got that black guy who joined the basketball team and that blonde chick on the cheer squad, right?" the first guy said, "And the two other chicks, they joined the girl's volleyball team."
"Yeah?" said the second guy, "Where are you going with this?"
"There was another guy," said the first, "The blonde dude. Where did he go?"
"If I recall correctly, the literature club. The one with Takeuchi-san the valedictorian and Saito-san, who's in our class," replied the second, "It's a pretty small club though. Why?"
"He's the only guy there, right?" said the first, "You know. The only person there with a dick." At this point, I was interested in this conversation. Though, I don't think Saito-san can hear them, for she did not stir from her book.
"Yeah, get to the point, will you, man?" whispered the second guy, beckoning him to get on with his little ramble.
"You think he's fucking one of them?" said the first guy. What the fuck is with this guy?
"The fuck does that has to do with anything?" said the second guy.
"Just hear me out, okay?" said the first, "Don't you think it's a little suspicious that a guy joins a club full of girls? Not just that, but nice looking girls at that?
"Yeah," said the second, "Still. You shouldn't be making up rumors about the guy. He's only a fucking exchange student anyways. Get your nose outta the guy's sex life, will ya?"
"Aw, c'mon man," whined the first, "It's still suspicious, isn't it? He's gotta be fucking one of them.…" From there, the sound of a book being pulled from the shelf behind me cut the guy off. Maybe because he removed the book from the shelf, he could see me, because he ended up saying "Oh fuck, he's here. Shit, he's fucking here."
"Now you better shut the fuck up before he hears," the second guy scolded the first. Too late you dumbfucks. I heard everything.
I looked to Saito-san once more. She did not stir from her book. She was focused on her book so much she didn't hear those guys talking about the club. Not that that's a bad thing, she didn't need to know. As for me, I just decided to let those guys go. I don't really have it in me to confront them.
After school
I checked out that light novel that I was reading earlier from the library. I actually like the premise, to be honest. The book was basically about a middle aged dude defying God when he was about to die, so then God decided to punish him by reincarnating the guy into a young girl in some sort of alternate history 1920's Germany with magic and stuff. It was actually really interesting, so I checked it out. Now I sat at my desk reading a book about a loli completely destroying France.
Meanwhile, Takeuchi-san was working on something. I would assume that she was writing a song 'cause she kept singing the same lines over and over, changing them every now and then.
She's been working on that for weeks now. Hell, I don't even think she's past the first verse. For a smart girl with a way with words, she sure is taking forever to write this song. Then again, I ain't no songwriter, so I don't really know how long it takes to write a song. Maybe she just needs inspiration or something.
"You sure you ain't done with that song?" I asked Takeuchi-san. She looked up at me momentarily before looking back at the sheet of paper, her face twisting in frustration.
"Nope," said Takeuchi-san, "I'm having a lot of trouble with this."
"You write poems," I said, "How come you can't finish a song?"
"Well, songwriting is different, okay?" she said as she tried to scratch out a word with her pen, "This time, you actually have to really focus on making words fit. And you know how I write poems."
"Freeform with practically no rhythm or rhyme to them," said I, "That said, you're very good with words. Hell, you speak better English than me."
"Well, this is different, you know," said Takeuchi-san, "Sure there are certain poems with a certain rhythm or rhyme, but not all. It's like trying to compare a helicopter pilot to an airplane pilot. They're still using a stick and they're still flying aircraft, but the way they fly is different."
"True."
At that time, the three other girls in the club entered the room. Ono-chan especially had a big smile on her face.
"What's got you all happy today?" I asked, despite knowing that she's always happy.
"Well," she said in a joyous tone, "I passed!"
"Barely?" I asked.
Ono-chan looked away sheepishly, her face flushed in embarrassment. "Y-yeah," she muttered. Of course.
"At least you passed," I sighed, "And you get to avoid extra classes."
I returned to my book after that. Everyone went on with their usual things that they did in the club. In fact, it was pretty quiet for a while. Until when the time came for us to share our poems.
I shared my poem with Takeuchi-san, Nakano-san, and Ono-chan, with them being indifferent with it. No biggie. Honestly, I actually wrote it for Saito-san. So now, as she stood in front of me, reading my poem, in which I called it "Oh Cruel Mistress". Here's what it said:
"Oh cruel mistress,
How you make me envy every inch of our soul.
How you make me feel like less,
As if I have been given a submissive role.
Oh cruel mistress,
How you make me so jealous.
How you make my soul restless,
My mind overzealous.
Every inch of your body fine-tuned to perfection.
With no need to make any correction.
With your soul binding with mine,
Making the world seem ever so fine.
My love! If only I could stop time,
Then I would be able to capture your grace.
My love! If only I could make my words rhyme,
Then I would be able to put a smile on your face.
For now, let us just enjoy each other's company,
Alone in this burning world.
Just the two of us, just how it was meant to be,
Let us go together in our own embrace."
Her comments? She only said "It's getting there,", which felt like a knife twisting in my gut. To be honest, I thought she would love it. Oh well.
I read her's next. This one was labeled "Ghost Under The Light", written in neat calligraphy. Honestly, her penmanship is top-notch. Here's what the poem said:
"The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow.
Bathing.
It must be this one.
The last remaining streetlight to have withstood the test of time.
The last yet to be replaced by the sickening blue-green of the future.
I bathe. Calm; breathing air of the present but living in the past.
The light flickers.
I flicker back."
Saito-san tends to write in a rather unique kind of way. It's something closer to Takeuchi-san's type of poem. It's not exactly in a freeform style, but it's still mysterious in some way. If I were to break this down, I'd have to say that a lot of symbolism is used, much like how Takeuchi-san writes. Though this poem is still more cryptic. Which makes it pretty interesting actually, since I remember writing essays on poems in my AP Literature class. God, I hated that test.
"I-I'm sorry if my handwriting is bad!" she exclaimed as I finished reading her poem, "I'm still working on it!"
"What?" I asked, "What made you get that idea?"
"I-I thought you were having trouble reading," she stammered, "Since you took a while to finish reading the poem."
"Ah," I said, "Well, I was just thinking about the poem. You know, trying to understand the message behind it. I dunno, it's just a skill that I picked up in one of my classes a few years ago. I actually love your handwriting."
"Eh?" she said, her face lighting up a little, "That's a… relief."
"Besides," I said, handing the piece of paper back to her, "I like you poem. Short yet descriptive."
"It wasn't too short?" she asked, "I know you know I usually write longer poems."
"Not at all," I said, "Besides, I've seen shorter."
"I'm… really glad you like it," she said, smiling.
After that, I went back to my seat, sitting down in my chair so that I can bend over to rummage through my bag. I was just looking for my earbuds because I wanted to use them on the way home.
Ono-chan was chatting with Takeuchi-san while Saito-san and Nakano-san exchanged poems. They gingerly passed each other their respective poems. As they read in tandem, I noticed that their expression changed while they read.
Nakano-san's eyebrow furrowed in frustration, as if she was trying to grasp the meaning behind Saito-san's poem. Meanwhile, Saito-san smiled sadly.
"What's with this language?" Nakano-san whispered under her breath.
"Um, did you say something?" asked Saito-san nervously.
"Oh, it's nothing," Nakano-san dismissed her as she placed the poem on the desk in between them. "I guess you could say it's fancy."
"Ah," said Saito-san, "Thanks. Yours is… cute."
"Cute?" replied Nakano-san, her voice rising a little, "Did you completely miss the symbolism or something? It's clearly about the feeling of giving up. How can that be cute?"
"I-I know that," said Saito-san, "I just meant… the language, I guess. I was trying to say something nice."
"Eh?" Nakano-san said, her cheeks puffed up. "You mean you have to try that hard to come up with something nice to say? Thanks, but it didn't come out nice at all." Uh oh, I thought as I watched this train wreck unfold.
"Um," said Saito-san, "I do have a couple of suggestions."
"Hmph!" Nakano-san crossed her arms, "If I was asking for suggestions, I would've asked someone who actually liked it. Which people did, by the way. Sayori liked it. Lee-senpai too! So based on that, I'll gladly give you some suggestions of my own."
"Excuse me," Saito-san interrupted her, "I appreciate the offer, but I've spent a long time establishing my writing style. I don't expect it to change anytime soon. And besides, Lee-san liked my poem too. He even told me he was impressed himself."
Nakano-san suddenly stood up from her seat, shoving aside the desk behind her. "Oh?" she said in a cold and aggravated tone, "I didn't realize you were so invested in impressing the guy, Yuri."
"E-Eh?" stammered Saito-san, "That's not what I- uh…. You- You're just…" She stood up as well. "Maybe you're just jealous that Lee-san appreciates my advice over yours!" Oh what, they're fighting over me now?
"Huh! And how do you know he didn't appreciate my advice?" asked Nakano-san. "Are you that full of yourself?" Please leave me out of this. I didn't do anything wrong, did I?
"I…" Saito-san tried to argue back, "If I was so full of myself, I would deliberately go out of my way to make everything overly cutesy." Shots fired.
"U-um!" Ono-chan butted in, trying to break up the argument, "Is everyone okay?" I myself took out a bottle of water from my bag and took a swig. Looks like we're gonna be here all day.
"Well, you know what?" Nakano-san exclaimed, her face red with anger, "I wasn't the one whose boobs magically grew a size bigger when Lee-san showed up!"
I choked on my water when she said that. I quickly swallowed and coughed, but kept my eye on the fight.
"N-Natsuki!" stammered Saito-san.
"U-um Natsuki?" Takeuchi-san tried her hand at stopping this fight, "That's a little-"
"This doesn't involve you!" Saito-san and Nakano-san cried out simultaneously. Is it too late that I'm more of an ass man?
"I-I don't like fighting you guys!" exclaimed Ono-chan. Suddenly, the two cats yowling at each other set their eyes on me, as if they just noticed me standing there.
"Lee-san!" begged Saito-san, "She's just trying to make me look bad."
"That's not true!" Nakano-san said, her hands on her hips like a diva, "I don't have to try!" Ooh fuck, I don't care where you're frome, that's gotta hurt.
"Besides, if she could get over herself and learn to appreciate that simple writing is more effective," argued Nakano-san, "Then this wouldn't have happened in the first place! What's the point in making all of your poems so convoluted for no reason? The meaning should jump out at the reader, not force them to figure it out. Help me explain that to Yuri, will you?"
"W-wait!" said Saito-san, "There's a reason why we have so many deep and expressive words in our language! It would be a shame for them to go to waste! You understand that, right Lee-san?"
"Uh," I meekly muttered under my breath.
"Well?" the both of them asked, itching for me to pick the victor of this fight. Oh shit, there's no way I'm getting out of this alive, now am I?
Whoever I pick will think of me highly, while possibly pissing off the other person. But I can't choose neither or both, so there was no way I'm gonna make a good decision. Oh well, I chose the coward's way out.
"N-Nakano-san," I stammered, thinking of a way to get out of this mess. Nakano-san glared coldly at me, drying up any words I had in my mouth.
"Saito-san," I stuttered as I turned to Saito-san. She turned her yead, her expression so defenseless I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Fuck it, I'm not gonna choose any of the two.
"Ono-chan!" I cried out.
"Eh?" she exclaimed in response. Time to give the bullshit excuse of the century.
"All this fighting is making Ono-chan uncomfortable!" I tried to weasle myself out of this mess, "How can you two keep fighting when you're maiking your friend feel like this?"
"It's not even about her!" grumbled Nakano-san.
"I agree," Saito-san said, "It's unfair for others to interject their own feelings into our conflict." Well fuck, that didn't work.
"Okay fine!" I exclaimed, "Let's put a stop to this then. Nakano-san's cutesy language and Saito-san's elevated syntax are both good in certain circumstances."
"It's not cute!" Nakano-san pouted and crossed her arms.
"Sometimes it's a good idea to hide a meaning behind words, sometimes not," I continued, "In the end, it's all up to the writer."
Saito-san seemed to ponder on that thought. She put her hand to her chin as she tried to make sense of what I had said. Nakano-san, surprisingly, did too.
"...You're right," Saito-san said, "It's all up to the writer."
"I'd hate to be losing this argument but," said Nakano-san, "I think Lee-senpai has a point. Besides, why are we fighting over something as silly as that?"
"Why did we start to fight?" asked Saito-san.
"I don't even know anymore," Nakano-san said with a smirk. "Yuri, I'm sorry I got mad. I guess I got a little too passionate."
"It's fine, Natsuki," said Saito-san, a smile creeping onto her face, "I understand that."
"Friends?" asked Nakano-san.
"Yes," answered Saito-san, "We're still friends." The two of them hugged it out. I looked to Takeuchi-san and Ono-chan who were standing nearby and smiled. The two smiled back. Well, at least we got them to kiss and make up.
Not gonna lie, the conclusion of the fight felt like some sort of some cheesy family-friendly sitcom that you'd find on Disney Channel. It's kinda funny how life sometimes works out like that. But, at that moment, I was at least happy for that to be over.
Honorifics: (Underlined honorifics are the ones used in current chapter)
-san: Most common, it is an all-purpose suffix that can be used in any situation where politeness is expected. Basically the titles Mr. Ms. etc.
-sama: This suffix is one level higher than "-san" and is used to confer great respect.
-kun: This suffix is commonly used at the end of boys' names to express endearment.
-chan: Feminine version of -kun.
Senpai: Superior/Upperclassmen.
Sensei: Master.
Translation notes:
1. Bento boxes are basically Japanese lunch boxes.
A/N: Sorry that this is a little late since I'm trying to post every other week. I just had a couple of final exams to finish up, that being my AP Lit exam (I think I passed) and my EMR certification exam (I fuckin' failed by two fuckin' points). That and that I ended up making this chapter longer than I thought it would be. Oh well. Also, thanks for the support, this is my most successful stories so far (I'll rewrite the clusterfuck of my Gate and SAO stories later on down the line). On that note, thanks y'all. Peace!
"Oh Cruel Mistress" written by me.
