Hurt

Yuri stood at the street corner just down the road where Natsuki and I argued, just a few feet away from us. Her dark violet hair glistened in the moonlight, her silhouette lighted up by a street lamp that shined on her. But nothing had caught my eye more than her fragile porcelain face, tears welling up in her eyes as she tried to fight a frown with a smile.

"Yuri…" I managed to mutter, taken aback by her sudden appearance. Why now? My mind yelled silently and furiously, Why now of all times? Why did she come when I'm here talking with Natsuki?

The silent maiden turned around and ran around the street corner, out of sight from where we were standing. She ran towards her apartment building, whose entrance was around the corner. Natsuki and I paused for a moment and looked at each other before bolting off in Yuri's direction, trying to intercept her.

Yuri was hurrying up the steps to her apartment and the two of us chased after her. Up one flight of stairs and another. To some bystander, it looks like we were gonna kidnap her or something.

I was just about to catch up to her when Yuri got to the door, quickly opening it and letting herself inside and slamming the door loudly. I ended up crashing into the door with an "oomph", with Natsuki's light stature able to stop right behind me.

"Yuri! Please! Let me explain!" I exclaimed as I banged on the door, hearing the faint sound of a lock turn in the door, to which I stopped banging on the door. Shit! This is not good!

I heard a voice speak from the other side of the door. It was very faint, barely audible in the silence. "Please," whispered Yuri quietly through sniffles and sobs, "Just leave me alone. You've done enough."

My heart stopped beating for a second. There was an immense pain emanating from my chest as if someone dropped a cinderblock on me. I'm just making things worse, aren't I? Just like before, with my brother. I just exist to make things worse.

I stepped back, my senses feeling numb to the world around me. It felt as if I could just die and no one would care. Besides, I'm just making things worse for everyone. Please, Yuri's words echoed in my brain, Leave me alone. You've done enough.

"Yuri?" cried Natsuki as she tried banging on the door, "Yuri! Please! Open the door! That's not what I meant at all! Please! Yuri!" This is all my fault. This is all my fucking fault.

I looked down at my feet in shame. Shame on me for trying to make things stay the same. Shame on me for not acting on this. Shame on me for just being selfish. Shame on me for being on this fucking Earth.

I heard a single thud hit the door. I looked up and saw Natsuki with her forehead on the door, looking down at her feet, tears falling from her eyes. It was becoming more and more unbearable to look at. To watch as your friends break down in front of you, helpless in knowing that you won't be able to pick them back up.

"I'll… I'll see you at school, okay?" Natsuki mumbled quietly before turning around and facing me. She met my gaze for a second and I saw for a brief moment all of the hatred and anger she felt towards me.

Natsuki walked past me as she went down the stairs, our shoulders brushing against each other. I looked back at Natsuki as she descended down the stairs, then back at Yuri's door, then back at my hands.

"Natsuki…" I called out to her as she was going down the stairs. She paused when she got to the end of the landing, her arms by her side, her hands clenched into fists. She looked down at her feet and tears fell from her eyes.

"Shut up," she said, her voice quivering. From where I was standing, it seemed like her whole body was shaking and wavering. "Don't even call me by my name."

"But-"

"But what?" she fumed, turning around to face me. Her face was red with anger and tears streamed down her face like a river. "Don't you see? This is all your fault!"

She turned around again, facing away from me. Her arms were still shaking from rage and anger. In a whispered breath, I heard her say something. Something that sent a shock through my veins. "I hate you," I heard her murmur under her breath before she walked away, leaving me by myself in the cold and dark apartment building on a moonless night.

This is my doing, I thought to myself, I've made things worse between Yuri and Natsuki. And now I have to fix it. The question is, will it be easy? Will I be able to fix things back to the way they were? And even if I do fix this situation, will everything change?

Monday

I opened my eyes, feeling the rays of sunshine peek through the blinds, kissing me awake. I tried lifting myself out of bed, trying to remind myself that I can still fix things, trying to not think about the dark clouds looming in my mind. My bare feet touched the cold hardwood floor, the room feeling a few degrees colder from yesterday.

Ever since that incident on Saturday, I've felt like shit. I didn't have the motivation to get out of bed. I mean, what will change if I stay in bed anyway? It's not like it could get any worse.

No, I tried to look on the bright side, I still have Sayori. She depends on me. And I will fix things between Yuri and Natsuki. I swear on my dying breath. I will make things right.

My bedroom door opened and I looked to see who it was. Ms. Kobayashi peeked her head in through the door. "Hey Sawyer, you awake?" she asked.

"Awake as I'll ever be," I grumbled, shrugging my shoulders.

"Alright, well, Aiko is making breakfast, so go and get something to eat before you head off," she explained with a somber smile.

"Will do," said I.

"Oh, and get something for your friend next door, alright?" suggested Ms. Kobayashi before she could close the door.

"Yes ma'am," I said in reply before she closed the door.

Mr. Kobayashi ended up making BLT sandwiches for breakfast. I wolfed one down quickly and grabbed another for Sayori. Grabbing my bag and bento box, I headed out of the door. I had to see if Yuri was at school. I have to clear things up with her, to explain everything.

I impatiently waited for Sayori at her door. Of all of the days, she chose to sleep in some more today. I kinda felt like just leaving her and heading to school by myself. But I can't do that to Sayori. Knowing her, she'll oversleep and end up missing school. And we all know how her grades are, so she really has to go.

"You got your bag? Your books?" I asked when Sayori stepped out, wearing her signature red bow in her messy hair along with her school uniform.

"Looks like you're in a hurry," said Sayori with a smile as I handed her the sandwich that Mr. Kobayashi had made.

"O-oh," I stammered, "S-sorry. I guess I'm just a little wound up today."

"No, no, that's okay," giggled Sayori, "It's Monday after all. Grrr, the weekend really does go by fast, doesn't it?"

"Y-yeah," I said, stuttering like crazy, "It went by so quickly."

Sayori and I started walking to school, with Sayori taking a quick bite from her sandwich every now and then. I, on the other hand, wasn't the most talkative that morning, mainly because of the memories of what happened last Saturday was still fresh in my mind.

"Well," said Sayori, her mouth still full of food as she tried to fill the silence, "How was your date with Monika?"

"Now why does everyone think it was a date?" I let out an exasperated sigh. "First you, and then my sister, and then pretty much everyone I know. And swallow your food before you talk. It's rude to speak with your mouth full."

Sayori gulped one big gulp and I don't even think she chewed, but she still managed to swallow her food. "I'd call it a date," she said, "Or at least a friend-date. You know, just between the two of you."

"Alright, fine, if you wanna call it a date, then call it a date," I shrugged. "But, well, I had fun with Monika. I've never been to a baseball game before, so it was a very fun experience here."

"I could tell," said Sayori with a friendly grin, "When you caught that ball on TV, you were doing a little happy dance like a little kid."

"You were watching the game?" I asked.

"Yup!" exclaimed Sayori with an even bigger grin, "You really were having fun with Monika, haven't you?"

"Ah well, I'm not lying if I said I loved it," I said with a genuine smile, "I had a great time with Monika!"

You know, that might've been the first real smile that I've had since Saturday. On Sunday, I didn't even have the motivation to get out of bed. I guess I just felt like shit that day. So, to be able to smile with Sayori like this made me feel nice. Though I'm probably just being really selfish right now.

When we got to school, Sayori ran off to the teacher's lounge because, as usual, her grades aren't doing too well. That was good, though, because I had something to do myself. Find Yuri and explain everything to her.

I started by looking around in the courtyard. There were already students arriving and waiting in the courtyard, which was covered in crunchy orange and yellow leaves. I would expect Yuri to sit under a tree or on a bench reading a book.

But alas, she wasn't to be found. So I tried going to the library. I'd assume that's her favorite spot in the whole school because, well, you know. She loves her books. So I made my way over to the library, but to my avail, she wasn't there either. Alright, well, where the hell would she be? I pondered to myself for a second before reaching a conclusion. So if she's not here, then she should be in her classroom!

I hurried to her classroom, eager to see her before class starts. When I got to her classroom, there were already students milling around in the hallway and the classrooms. Looks like I gotta find a private area where we could talk.

I poked my head in through the door and scanned the room, looking for the girl with violet hair. I really gotta talk to her. I gotta explain everything to Yuri.

...She's not in the classroom either. She's not in her usual seat, reading a book alone in the corner. It's like she didn't even come to school at all.

Fuck, I don't think she's at school, I cursed to myself. Is she avoiding me? Surely she wouldn't skip school just to avoid me. I really wanna help her, I really do. First things first, I gotta explain everything. Crap, I really don't like being in this situatio-

"Hey, Sawyer!" exclaimed a feminine voice loudly into my ear from behind me. I was hit by a sudden feeling of deja vu like I've been here before in the same circumstance.

"Jesus Christ, not again!" I exclaimed, careful not to attract attention as I jumped, pivoting around to look at who snuck up on me. But instead of the club president standing before me, it was a blonde-haired girl with blue eyes and glasses.

"Christ, Kaylee, don't sneak up on me like that," I panted as I tried to catch my breath, my hand clutching my chest, "I'm gonna have a heart attack sooner or later."

"Well don't leave yourself defenseless, man," she said, giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl. That's when I noticed that Zara and Rose weren't with her.

"Where's the other two?" I asked as I stood up straighter with regained composure, "You guys are always together, right?"

"Oh, they have an early morning practice before class starts and I left them 'cause I had to speak with my teachers," explained Kaylee, putting one hand on her hip while leaning on one leg, "What about you? What brings you here?"

"I, uh," I stuttered, trying not to sound weird, "I came here to talk with Yuri about something. Have you seen her around today?"

"No, I don't think I saw Saito-san today," Kaylee shook her head. "Last time I saw her was on Saturday when we went to the salon."

"Oh, how was that, by the way?" I asked.

"It was awesome!" she exclaimed, "Those guys over at Yuri's salon really know their stuff! I made Rose and Zara get a hairdo while I got my nails done! Wanna see?"

Kaylee held up her hands and shook her fingers, showing off her nails that were painted black with little white designs, making it look like the night sky. Not bad for a canvas that is less than a square inch.

"They look nice!" I said, not really knowing what to say. I smirked as I inspected them a second more before Kaylee shoved her hands back into the pockets of her skirt.

"Yup! They came out pretty good!" exclaimed Kaylee, "I guess I'll be going to that place for now!"

"Oh, uh, can I ask you a question?" I asked because I had one question bugging me in the back of my mind.

"Shoot," she said with a smirk.

"What time did you guys leave the salon?" I asked, not trying to sound like a creepy old man or something.

"Around 9:40-ish," said Kaylee, shrugging, "Why'd you ask?" Oh, how the timing couldn't be any worse.

"Oh, I ended up running into Yuri on my way home from something," I said, "Sorry if I sound like a creep, I just wanted to know if she was coming from the salon."

"Yeah, well, yeah, we left around 9:40. I guess you were in the area when we left, right?"

"Yep," I said, shrugging. Perfect fucking timing. Fantastic. "Anyways, if you see Yuri, shoot me a message, will ya?"

"Sure thing, Sawyer," grinned Kaylee as she walked and left towards the office, leaving me alone in the crowded hallway. I peeked inside the classroom one more time, half wishing that Yuri was still in there, and then turned around to head to my class.

I saw Natsuki standing right where Kaylee was standing just a minute ago. She looked like she was heading to Yuri's classroom as well, but she didn't meet my eyes. Instead, she walked past me and peeked into the classroom.

"Yuri's not here, right?" she asked without making eye contact.

"No, she's not," I said, sighing.

Natsuki's head drooped down in disappointment for a second before lifting it back up and walking away without a word. "W-wait, Natsuki!" I called out to her. I gotta tell her I'm sorry about everything. I just hope she would forgive me.

"Senpai, leave me alone, okay?" she simply said stopping in her tracks without looking back, "I don't need you."

I took a deep breath as I watched her depart into the sea of students who were now arriving, unable to find the words to reply to her. If only I wasn't so stupid, I cursed to myself, If only I could've known what to do, this wouldn't have happened. If only things could be different.

Afterschool

I haven't seen Yuri at all today. I don't think she even came to school if I'm gonna be honest. Kaylee texted me during lunch that she was nowhere to be found. I found that rather odd since Yuri is not the type of person to skip school. It's like she just… disappeared.

It looks like no one really cared that she wasn't at school other than the club and me, as well as the triplets. Zara and Rose really wanted to have a nice girl-to-girl chat with Yuri and complained to me when she wasn't there.

Meanwhile, Natsuki was ignoring me the entire day. During lunch, when I tried to approach her, she would just move away. During gym class, she wouldn't even meet my gaze. Honestly, I think I deserved that. Keeping a secret like that from her, still can't believe I did that.

Now that the final bell rang and the students started leaving, excited to get out of school on a Monday. And there I sat on my desk, thinking about what I should do. I think it's a good idea to at least see if Yuri is alright at home. I'm pretty worried.

"Sawyer?" asked Monika, who noticed me just sitting at my desk, staring off into space, "Are you alright? You've been a little out of it the entire day."

"Y-yeah," I said, snapping out of my daze by blinking and shaking my head, "Yeah, I'm alright." I looked over to see her resting her chin on her hand, her usually smug face looking worried for once.

"Are you sure?" she asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow, "You sure you don't have any screws loose in your head?"

"N-no, I'm alright, I swear," I said as I decided on what I should do. I stood up and picked up my bag. "I'm, um… kinda worried about Yuri, so I'm thinking of dropping by her apartment to see if she's okay."

"Oh really?" she asked.

"Y-yeah," I said, scratching the back of my head, "It's not like her to miss school. I don't think she's ever missed a day of school, so I guess I should see if she's okay."

"I see," said Monika, nodding her head in understanding before standing up, shouldering her bag, "In this case, I guess the club meeting is canceled."

"Canceled?" I asked, "How come?"

"Well, Natsuki told me that she wasn't going to the meeting either, saying she had something to do, so it's just gonna be me and Sayori," explained Monika, "I'm thinking of getting some coffee from Starbucks, so I guess we'd be better off just canceling it entirely."

"What about Sayori?" I asked.

"What about me?" asked a voice that came from the door. I turned around to see Sayori standing at the threshold of the classroom entrance, her face in a big grin as usual.

"Sayori, sorry to tell you this, but I'm canceling the meeting," said Monika.

"Aw, really?" Sayori said with a mock pout, slouching over and huffing like a little kid, "How come?"

"Yuri's not here, Natsuki left early, and Sawyer's going to see if Yuri is okay, so it will just be the two of us," said Monika, shrugging, "Might as well just cancel it altogether."

"Aw, dang it!" exclaimed Sayori, pretending to have a little tantrum like a little kid by stomping her foot on the floor, pouting while crossing her arms with a huff.

"But I'm headed to Starbucks," Monika said with a grin, "You wanna come with? I can get you a cookie or a brownie over there."

"Sure!" exclaimed Sayori excitedly, smiling as if she put her disappointments aside. Just like a little kid.

"Sorry, Sayori," I apologized, "She's just not answering my texts, so I'm getting a little worried."

"That's okay!" said Sayori with a smile, "I know how caring you are when it comes to your friends! You're the type of person who goes to someone's house just to take care of them when they are sick. Or when they are home alone. You've done that many times with me, right?"

"Sawyer?" asked Monika with a somewhat pissed off smile, "What does she mean by 'many times'?" Is she, uh, taking that the wrong way?

"What she means is," I tried to explain without getting red, "We just hang out. That's all. We're not doing what you think we're doing."

"Oh?" said Monika smugly, leaning in with her hand to her chin, "And what do you think I think you're doing together?" C'mon, really?

"Uh," was all that I managed to utter before looking away, embarrassed. I didn't want to talk about this topic with Sayori around, since she's… is innocent the word?

"Can we just go instead of just standing around?" cried out Sayori, "I wanna get a brownie already!"

"Okay, okay, let's go," chided Monika with a sweet giggle. "You coming, Sawyer?"

"Yeah, let's go," I said before we walked out of the classroom and out of the school with the huge crowd of students.

It was a sunny day today, something that feels weird considering what happened a couple of nights before. Not a cloud in the sky and yet I feel like it's thundering in my head. At least I could pretend to be happy with Monika and Sayori as we walked out of the campus.

Sooner or later, we went our separate ways a few blocks away. Already, most of the students were gone, off to their own homes or with their friends somewhere. Monika had her green bike next to her, the one she rides on the way to school. They were going to this Starbucks that was on the way to Sayori's house, whereas Yuri's apartment was in the opposite direction.

"See you tomorrow Monika!" I said when we stopped at the corner where we were supposed to split ways, "Sayori, I'll be home in time to help you with your homework, okay?"

"You sure you guys aren't dating?" asked Monika, a sly smile on her face as usual, "Only a really close boyfriend would do something like that."

"N-no we're not dating!" I exclaimed, waving my hand as if to push that mere thought of it away, "We're just friends is all."

"Aw, don't tease poor Sawyer!" exclaimed Sayori, who then turned her head away from us and mumbled something I couldn't quite understand. I just heard the first two words. "Even though…"

"What was that?" I asked Sayori, who then stiffened up like a pencil, her face somewhat flushed.

"N-nothing!" she cried out, "Let's go, Monika! I'm getting hungry!"

"Alright, let's go Sayori," said Monika with a friendly smile. "See you, Sawyer!" she cried out as she walked away, her hand outstretched above her as she waved. I grinned and waved back before turning the corner to get to the subway station.

Here we go, I told myself, Let's get on with it.


Honorifics: (Underlined honorifics are the ones used in current chapter)

-san: Most common, it is an all-purpose suffix that can be used in any situation where politeness is expected. Basically the titles Mr. Ms. etc.

-sama: This suffix is one level higher than "-san" and is used to confer great respect.

-kun: This suffix is commonly used at the end of boys' names to express endearment.

-chan: Feminine version of -kun.

Senpai: Superior/Upperclassmen.

Sensei: Master.


A/N: I fucked up again. I wrote a chapter but it ended up being over 8k words long. Just like before, I had to split this chapter in half. I might release the next chapter in a week. Oh well.

In other news, I'm gonna be starting school this week. It's gonna be hard since it's online due to my state having the most amount of cases in the country. I hope you guys are doing alright. Take care! Peace!