For the Night

Saturday, November 22nd

"Damnit, Dad!" yelled Natsuki as she pounded on the front door of her house, "Come on! I don't have a place to stay! Let me back in!"

I watched as her balled fists hit the door in such rage, in such frustration. Each blow seemed to cause the house to rumble, threatening to make the building crumble from such force. She punched and kicked and screamed. I've never seen this much energy coming from such a small girl. Not even my sister, which was weird.

I know I have to stop Natsuki, though. It wouldn't be long before someone calls the cops because of the ruckus. But I also know I shouldn't meddle into Natsuki's affairs, however private. I can't just barge right in and try to help her. I don't know what's going on. I know I shouldn't bother.

I tried to step forward, to get to Natsuki as she pounded and pounded away at the door. I have to help her. I can't just leave her be. Not like this.

But I couldn't step forward.

It felt as if my feet were glued to the floor, unable to move. I felt frozen. My heart felt tight, being tied up by a chain, making me feel constricted and isolated. I could feel my vision tunneling as I struggled to keep my eyes on Natsuki. My breath quickened, struggling to fill my lungs with oxygen. I felt like I was drowning, all of the sudden. I felt like I was in danger as well.

The longer I watched Natsuki, the more my feelings intensified. I tried to stop it, but I can't. I can't stop these feelings. I have to snap out of it so I can help Natsuki. But I can't. I can't move. My legs were frozen. I was stuck in place.

Why am I feeling like this? Why am I struggling? I have to be strong, right? Why can't I move? I need to move to help Natsuki. Why am I still standing still? Why?

Wait. I think I know why. It's because I've seen this before.


One year ago

The sound of a lone car passing down the road was the only thing I heard that night. Watching the car drive away down the silent street, the businesses on the side all being closed for the night. The only thing that illuminated the street was the warm glow of the streetlamps as I walked on and on.

It was midnight. I knew I had school tomorrow and I needed to sleep. But I couldn't. I didn't have my bed. I didn't have my room. I didn't have my house. Then again, it wasn't my own bed. It wasn't my own room. It wasn't my own house. It wasn't my own life.

Another altercation with my father left me stuck outside in the middle of the night, alone in the dark. My mother and sister tried to stop my father, but I told them to don't even bother. They were not going to win. My brother, who always protected me, was dead. I did not have someone to stand up for me against my father. He was the master of the household. It was his orders that had to be followed.

So I left.

I called the few people I was friends with, looking for a place I could stay for the night. I knew I was lonely and alone. Stuck in the dark, as if the only light that illuminated my world was snuffed out. Now, the only thing that illuminated my silhouette was the buzzing streetlamps.

As I looked down at my feet, I noticed the shadow behind me growing and fading as I passed by each streetlamp. The shadow that I was familiar with, the one that always followed me. There was always some sort of darkness that followed me, staying with me every step of the way. And I guess I couldn't escape it.

Looking up, I saw the waning crescent moon overhead, the dark shadow on the moon growing as each night passed. Slowly but surely, the moon would be enveloped in its own shadow, the light gone from it as it is shrouded in darkness.

No one picked up their phones. No one came to pick me up. No one came to help me. I was alone in the cold dark. I was alone, in the solitary of my own thoughts. Alone in this cold world.


Present

So that's why I didn't move, I thought to myself. I can't stand by like this. I have to help, or else one of my only friends in this world will become like me.

I stepped forward.

I watched as Natsuki dropped to her knees, hanging her head in defeat. Her balled fists loosened as her arms slackened, falling to the floor.

"Hey," I called out to Natsuki. Slowly, she turned her head, barely seeing me out of the corner of her unnaturally pink eyes. There were no tears, but she had a troubled look on her face. I know she's prickly towards me, but she's still a friend. A friend that I need to help.

"What are you doing here?" asked Natsuki in a soft voice, with me barely being able to hear her. But I still heard her.

"Well, I was just passing through and I wanted to say hi," I said nonchalantly, pretending that my uneasiness earlier did not exist. "What are you doing down there?"

"Mind your own business," mumbled Natsuki, facing away from me. "I'm fine. I don't need your help."

"You sure?" I asked as I put my hands in my pockets. "It looks to me like you need help."

Natsuki stayed silent. Instead, she stared at her hands that lay on her lap. She examined her small and slender fingers, which were white, as if they were cold. To me, she looked like she had given up. Not moving. Being unable to act.

The afternoon sun started to set, its orange glow being hidden by the shadow of the horizon. Soon enough, the day would be over, with the darkness of the night invading once more. I know that Natsuki needs a place to stay for the night.

"Why are you helping me?" asked Natsuki. "You could've been like anyone else and not pay any attention to someone like me."

"Why do you think I'm normal like everyone else?" I said, chuckling as I tried to hide the uneasiness in my voice. "Of course I would help you. You're my friend. Plus." I looked down at my feet with my eyes closed. I gathered my wits for a second, taking a deep breath before I finished myself. "Plus, I know how you feel."

"Oh please," Natsuki quietly chuckled. "You have no idea."

"Oh yeah?" I asked. "Lemme guess. You got in a disagreement with your dad and they kicked you out of the house. A little abusive, but it happens with some parents. Now, you don't have a place to stay. Am I right?"

"Yeah," said Natsuki, "You're right. But how do you know how I feel?"

"Because my old man did that too. I was kicked out of my house so many times because of my dad. I had nowhere else to go. I didn't have anyone to ask for help."

I waited for a few seconds for a response, taking another breath to ease my nerves. For Natsuki to answer. But she didn't. So I continued.

"Well, at least you're lucky," I said, "Unlike me, though, you still have people that can help you."

"Oh yeah?" asked Natsuki. "Who?"

"Well, we can go over to Yuri's apartment if you want and see if you can bunk up with her for the night," I suggested. "I mean, she's close to you. She's bound to help, you know?"

"No, I can't do that," Natsuki shook her head. "I ask too much of her. I know she has a lot on her plate. I don't want her babysitting me."

"How about Monika?" I asked.

"Monika's busy," said Natsuki, shaking her head some more.

"I was just with her over at the gym," I said.

"You do realize she has a job, right?" explained Natsuki. "And her parents are coming over later to stay the night at her apartment. I don't want to intrude."

Damn, really? I asked myself. She didn't tell me about her parents. Then again, maybe she just forgot to tell me. Not-so-great timing, though.

"Well, I can't ask Sayori because she's grounded," I mumbled, thinking out loud. "I highly doubt that she's allowed to have a sleepover if she's grounded."

I know what I'm about to suggest is wrong, but I don't have any other options.

Taking a deep breath, I suggested one more option, the only one I had left.

"How about you stay over at my place?" I asked, "I can't just leave you out here."

Natsuki turned around, facing me for the first time since we started this conversation. The expression on her face told me that she was both conflicted and confused. And then became even more confused as her eyebrows raised the more she thought about it.

"Are you even allowed to have someone sleep over at your place?" asked Natsuki. "Especially a girl? I don't want to bother the people who're taking care of you."

Oh right, I thought to myself. I forgot about them. Ah, crap. What am I gonna do?

Oh boy. I don't like what I'm thinking.

Later

I feel like this is wrong! I thought to myself as I opened the window in my room. Already, the night sky darkened the streets; the only thing illuminating me was the lights in my room. Downstairs, I knew that the Kobayashi couple was in the living room, watching some weird Japanese game show on the TV, which was loud enough for me to hear from up here. That gave me relief that they are unable to hear me upstairs.

I stuck my head out of the window and looked down. Across, Sayori's light was out. I assumed she was already sleeping, to which I was lucky. I didn't want Sayori to see what I was doing.

"You ready?" I asked Natsuki, who was waiting down below. I saw her standing on the top rung of a three step stool. She was looking right back at me, as if she was gathering her wits.

"Ready as I'll ever be," said Natsuki as she held her hands up in the air. With a nod, I held my hand out, trying to reach out to her. The both of us reached as far as we can. Even Natsuki was on her tiptoes trying to reach my hand. But because she was so short, only our fingertips touched.

"Oh come on," I moaned, "Can you reach any farther?"

"I'm trying!" groaned Natsuki, her face twisting as she strained herself as much as possible. "It's not my fault you have short arms!"

"It's not my fault that you're short!" I quipped. "If only you were just a little taller!"

"Oh, shut up!" exclaimed Natsuki as our fingertips touched once more.

We were trying to reach each other for five minutes. The longer we went, the more insults we threw at each other. Then the insults turned to curses. Seriously, why is this girl so hard to work with?

After five minutes, our arms started to get tired. Clearly, Natsuki was too short to get her into my room. We were running out of time and options. The Kobayashi couple downstairs isn't gonna be watching those weird game shows for much longer. Just as I started to give up, Natsuki thought up a new plan.

"Aw, screw this!" said Natsuki, huffing and puffing as she was out of breath. "I got an idea."

"And that is?" I asked.

"Catch me," Natsuki said as she planted her feet onto the stool, winding up her legs like a spring as she got ready to jump. I wasn't really ready for her, but there was no stopping Natsuki once she had an idea.

She jumped, gaining a few extra inches off the ground. I was caught off guard, but I was able to catch her. Surprisingly, she was light enough not to drag me out of the window. Natsuki kicked with her feet to help her clamber up the wall.

I heard a thud as Natsuki bumped her head onto the frame of the window. "Damn it, Senpai!" exclaimed Natsuki, "Careful!"

"Hey, that wasn't my fault!" I exclaimed in hushed tones, "And keep it down, will ya? My caretakers downstairs might hear you!"

"Yeah, yeah," groaned Natsuki, "I bet they'd be happy you brought a girl home!"

"Why, you little-!" I burst out before stopping myself from yelling. Seriously, this girl gives me so much attitude. Sometimes I question myself as to why I'm still in the Literature Club with Natsuki at school.

A flurry of curses flew between us as I tried my damndest to pull her in through the window. But, against all odds, I was able to drag her into my room. The thing is that I didn't expect her to fall. I was using her as balance, but now that she was inside of the room, we both fell to the floor, hitting our bottoms the wooden planks hard. A little too hard.

I heard the TV downstairs quiet down for a second. A voice could be heard calling from below us. "Sawyer?" asked Ms. Kobayashi, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" I answered back, while also putting a finger over my mouth to tell Natsuki quietly to shut up. "I tripped but I'm alright!"

"Okay, just checking!" said Ms. Kobayashi. "That fall sounded like it hurt!"

"I'm all good!" I called back, "Don't worry!"

After a second, I heard the TV's volume turn back up, masking the conversation between me and Natsuki. I looked at her and she stared back at me. For a moment, her frustration seemed to leave her gaze as she faced me, her eyes glistening in the warm light coming from my desk lamp. The look in her eyes made her seem like she was tired, as if she was running away all her life. Her innocent eyes didn't really look so innocent once you looked into it. But as she met my eyes, that once innocent look returned to her irises.

I saw a smile creeping up from Natsuki's lips. A smile that looked… real. Not a smile that was faked like everyone else's. This was a true, genuine smile coming from a girl that I didn't expect. And I couldn't help but smile too.

Without saying anything, the two of us broke out into laughter, laughing at the strange situation that we were in. The both of us let loose a real laugh, one that we've never had in a while. For a second, we didn't think of anything. The world seemed to fade away as the two of us laughed and laughed. For a moment, as fleeting as it was, it was just the two of us. Two people, wounded by our circumstances, together within the presence of the other. Alone in the cold world, but not lonely in our company.

After we had our fill of laughter for the night, the reality of the situation hit us. Natsuki was going to spend the night with me. In the same room. I don't have another bed, only a twin size mattress that could possibly fit two people on it if they squeeze in together. Natsuki didn't even have any clothes that she could use to sleep in. And what if one of the Kobayashi's came in to check up on me? They'll find me alone with a girl in a house that was not mine. Long story short, I'd probably end up in Natsuki's position.

Needless to say, I don't think we thought this through.

"You sure you can't sleep in that?" I asked Natsuki, pointing to what she was wearing. "I doubt that I'll have anything that'll fit you."

"You're gonna make me sleep in jeans?" Natsuki responded. "I don't think I can sleep in this. It's too stiff and not comfortable at all."

"Oh, come on," I said as I rummaged through my dresser, "All of my pajama pants are in the wash. I don't have anything that you could use."

"Well, do you have anything comfortable?" asked Natsuki. "I know you have something comfortable for tonight."

I sighed. She's really hard to work with, but I guess I could find something.

"Here," I said, pulling out a pair of gym shorts from one of the drawers and blindly tossing it to Natsuki. "Try this on. It should be clean. There's no way it'll fit you, but it'll do."

Before turning back to Natsuki, I grabbed another pair of gym shorts that I was going to wear. As I faced Natsuki, I saw her comparing her waist-line to the gym shorts' waist-line. And lo and behold, it seemed to be a few sizes too big for Natsuki's small stature.

"God, you're fat," said Natsuki as she examined the gym shorts. I already regret helping this girl.

Suppressing the urge to flip the little girl off, I looked up to her and asked, "So are you gonna try it on or not?"

"Fine," said Natsuki, rolling her eyes. "I'll try it on. I guess I don't have any other choices."

A moment of awkward silence was cast upon us as I saw Natsuki look back at me with expectant eyes, as if she was waiting for me to do something.

"Aren't you gonna… you know," said Natsuki, making a circle gesture with her fingers. It took me a second, but when it finally clicked, I sighed before turning around. I forgot for a second that Natsuki was a girl. I think I heard her mutter the word "pervert" under her breath as I turned around, but maybe I was mistaken.

As I waited, the longer I thought about it, the more I realized something. I'm here alone with Natsuki. I don't think I'm supposed to have anyone sleep over, let alone someone of the opposite sex. And here's Natsuki, probably already not wearing pants. If anyone came into this room at this very moment, "being in trouble" is probably an understatement.

The thing is, I can't help but entertain the urge to look. To take one quick peek. I know I shouldn't, but I did anyways. What do you expect a teenager to do in this situation?

I slowly turned my head, hoping that Natsuki didn't see. I turned and turned to find that Natsuki was facing away from me. I kept looking until I saw something that I wasn't supposed to see before snapping my head forward and standing erect like a statue, with only one word in my head: Pink.

After what felt like an eternity, I heard Natsuki say, "Okay, I'm done. You could turn around now."

Looking back, I saw Natsuki standing by my bed, her jeans on the bed, her hands holding up the waist of the oversized gym shorts. I could tell she was blushing, not making eye contact with me.

"It's too big," said Natsuki, "But it'll work."

"Wait," I said, remembering something that could help Natsuki. I pointed to the waist of her shorts. "Tie the drawstrings," I suggested, "That'll hold it up."

Natsuki looked down and saw the drawstrings. After tying it, she found that she was finally able to have her hands free again.

"Well," said Natsuki, "That worked better than I thought."

"We got bigger problems," I commented before pointing to the obviously small mattress that I called my bed. "I don't think the both of us could fit."

"Oh, yeah," sighed Natsuki, "You're right. How are we gonna fit?"

I looked around, but seeing as I didn't have another mattress or extra pillows to substitute as a mattress, I didn't have many options. "I could probably just sleep on the chair there," I said, pointing to the wooden chair at my desk. It didn't look comfortable, but I had to stay in this room in case someone tried to get into this room so that I could explain the situation.

"No," said Natsuki, "I can't ask you to do that. I'll sleep on the chair."

"You think I'm gonna let you?" I asked. "I can't let a girl sleep on that chair while I get the bed."

"Well, what else do you think we could do?" asked Natsuki, before the both of us simultaneously looked at the bed, and then back to each other. "I regret coming here."

After ten minutes of figuring out how to comfortably sleep on this bed without any of us falling off, we were finally able to get somewhat comfortable. I faced away from Natsuki, while Natsuki faced me.

Outside, I could see the light turn off as my Kobayashi caretakers settled in for the night. Now, it was silent. Just me and Natsuki in that dark room, huddled together under the sheets.

I could hear Natsuki's soft breathing in the silence of the night. Breathing that felt oddly calming, given today's events. I could feel her chest rising and falling against the mattress, forcing me to recall when I had to do CPR on her. I could feel her legs as they slightly brushed up against mine. I could feel everything on that small cot.

"You're surprisingly calm," commented Natsuki. "I don't know how you're not hyperventilating or something."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, "I'm just trying not to think about it a lot."

"You know this happens in a lot of shoujo manga, right?" said Natsuki with a slight chuckle, "A guy and a girl, alone in a room. The two are extremely flustered to the point where they can't talk. But they know they have to spend the night with each other."

"Yeah, well," I said, "Ever since I've been here, I felt like I'm in some sort of story. But no, I know this is real life. Believe me, I'm not as calm as you think. I'm surprised that you are actually calm about this."

"Oh, no I'm not," said Natsuki. "Thank God you're not looking at me. I don't think I'm the very definition of grace under fire. I'm just as weirded out as much as you. Though, it feels like you've done this before."

"Done what before?" I asked.

"Sleep with someone," said Natsuki. "Not like, you know. I mean like, you and a girl in the same bed together. That sort of thing."

"Well," I said, "I guess it's because it's not my first time."

"Wait, what?" exclaimed Natsuki, making sure to keep her noise level down. "Sawyer-Senpai can actually get bed with a girl? Even if you two are not doing anything wrong, I'm still surprised."

"You sound like Monika right now," I said.

"So," asked Natsuki, "Who was the unlucky girl? And when was this?"

I sighed. I still haven't told anyone about this, but I still vividly remember that night. "It was Sayori," I said, "When we stayed over at Monika's beach house."

"Woah, woah, woah," exclaimed Natsuki, "What the hell? That's why Sayori wasn't in her room that morning? I knew you two were close, but I didn't know you guys were that close!"

"Ah, it wasn't my fault," I said, "It was probably an accident anyway."

"No, you gotta tell me what happened," demanded Natsuki.

"Relax, would ya?" I chided, "Sayori entered my room at like two o'clock in the morning and plopped herself right next to me. She looked so tired she thought that she was in her own room. I didn't want to wake her though, because she was so sleepy and peaceful."

"Or maybe you thought you could be sly and stayed silent to cop a feel," joked Natsuki.

"Or maybe I don't think straight most of the time," I said back, "I mean, I brought you here with me."

Natsuki chuckled. "But even if it was just an accident," she said, "You would probably still say something. I know you're close to her. We all do."

"She's like the long lost childhood friend that I never had." I said, "She was the first friend I made here, you know?"

"Yeah well," said Natsuki, "Even that's not the only time you were alone with a girl in a dark room."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Remember when we got trapped in the gym closet?"

"Where we were dicking around to pass the time?"

"We weren't able to do anything," explained Natsuki. "So we messed around."

"And remember when Monika found us in that position?" I asked. "I was on top of you and everything?"

"Yeah, that was not fun to explain," said Natsuki, "It took me an hour to make Monika promise not to talk about it."

"And it took me even longer to convince my buddy to shut up," I sighed. "Thank God those two didn't tell the entire class. Just imagine what the rumors would be if someone found us like this."

"Oh, shut up!" chided Natsuki, "You'll jynx us."

"Tch, yeah," I said, shuddering at the thought of the entire class spreading rumors about me supposedly sleeping around with other people. Gosh, that would not look good.

It became silent for a second as our conversation died down. Again, I was greeted with the soft breathing coming from Natsuki's fragile figure. I, too, focused on my own breathing. I know I was feeling excited. So I tried to calm myself down.

"Keep talking to me," Natsuki said, breaking the silence.

"What?" I asked.

"You heard me," said Natsuki. "Keep talking. It helps."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I don't know," Natsuki sighed, "I don't know how to explain it. I feel… calm, when talking to you. Which is strange since all we do is bicker with each other. But even now, I feel at ease if we keep talking. So keep talking, would you? At least, until I go to sleep?"

"Sure thing," I said with a grin.

The two of us kept talking about random stuff. Whether it is about boys or girls, or about manga and anime, we kept talking. Our topics were mostly mundane, but it helped me get an insight into Natsuki's life. I was able to analyze Natsuki from our conversation.

Come to think of it, I don't have much time alone with Natsuki. I never had the time to actually have a deep conversation with her. Really, I'm more preoccupied with other things. But now that she's with me, I didn't realize how much I could talk to her.

We kept talking until I finally heard Natsuki fall asleep, tired from today's events. We slept until the sun rose above the horizon. When the morning light kissed our faces through the window, the two of us got up groggily, still tired from the night before.

But we were up. Thank God the Kobayashi's did not go into the room. In fact, I could hear them leaving work, not checking up on me. You'd think we were safe now, right?

Wrong.

"Oh Sayori!" I heard Ms. Kobayashi exclaim from downstairs as Natsuki and I were climbing out of bed, "What are you doing here? I thought you were grounded!"

I motioned for Natsuki to be quiet for a second. I tried to hear as much as I could. I could hear Sayori's voice downstairs as well, but I didn't hear what she said. All I could hear was Ms. Kobayashi. And what she said next put me into a panic.

"Oh Sawyer? He's still sleeping. Go upstairs and wake him up for us, will you? I'm headed out now."

"Oh shit," I cursed under my breath before looking around, trying to figure out a solution. I locked the door quickly, but I knew that was not going to hold forever. Sayori knows where the key to the room is hidden and she's the type of person to barge in even if the door is locked.

Natsuki heard too and was frantically looking around as well, trying to figure out what to do. She can't hide under my bed because there's no space. My closet is a mess, so she can't hide there. And given how much time we spent looking around for a way out of this mess, we figured that she can't cross the hall in order to hide in the bathroom. Sayori might very well be right outside that door any second now.

"Oh Sawyer!" I could hear Sayori calling from the hallway, "Wakey wakey! Guess what? I'm not grounded anymore! Come on! Let's do something today!"

"What are we gonna do now?" asked Natsuki in hushed tones, panic setting in as Sayori's voice drew closer and closer, "We're fucked if she finds us here."

"Lemme think, lemme think, lemme think," I said to myself.

Outside, I could hear the door knob turning, though the door was still locked. Sayori jiggled the door knob for a second, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Looks like I'll have to get the spare key," I heard Sayori say before turning back to Natsuki.

"Oh, come on!" Natsuki frantically waved her fists in frustration, not knowing one of the drawstrings from her shorts was clutched in her fists. "You gotta think of something!"

"Oh, shut up and let me think!" I exclaimed quietly. Meanwhile, I heard the sound of the lock on my door being quietly unlocked. I was too late. There was no way out of this situation.

I thought this situation couldn't get worse. There's no way my luck could get worse. We were already cornered, trapped, unable to go anywhere. There's no way this could get any worse.

At least, that's what I figured.

"Don't you tell me what to do," Natsuki said angrily as she was taking a few steps forward until she was right in front of me. "It's your fault we're in this- Woah!"

The knot that held Natsuki's shorts up was undone from her frantic arm waving. Somehow, she was able to untie the knot. And because it was so big on her, the shorts fell down to her ankles as she was walking forward to me. Like stepping on shoelaces, Natsuki tripped, falling forwards. Right into me.

I fell backwards as Natsuki fell on top of me, pain shooting from my ass up my back. The both of us tumbled to the ground, with Natsuki ending up on all fours on top of me, pinning me to the floor. I tried to grab her as we were going down. Maybe I should've watched where my hands went.

Damn, I thought to myself as I heard the door open, I didn't expect it to be so round. And why is it so soft?

I saw Sayori walk in the room, a smile on her face soon disappearing into a sea of red as she blushed from seeing what we were doing. "S-Sawyer!" Sayori exclaimed, "I-isn't it too early in the morning for this? At least wait until night time! Unless… you two did it last ni-"

Sayori gasped, her eyes widening. Her face turned even redder as shock rendered her unable to respond. Meanwhile, I looked at Natsuki, whose face was redder than Sayori's bow. Her face was frozen in embarrassment, whether it's from her being on top of me, my hands on her rear-end, or that Sayori saw this entire situation and was already jumping to conclusions. Why does this feel awfully familiar?

"I-I'm so sorry for barging in!" Sayori yelled before shutting the door loudly.

"Wait! Wait!" I called out, holding up my hands because I noticed that Natsuki was winding up her tsundere punch, "It's not what it looks like!"


Honorifics: (Underlined honorifics are the ones used in current chapter)

-san: Most common, it is an all-purpose suffix that can be used in any situation where politeness is expected. Basically the titles Mr. Ms. etc.

-sama: This suffix is one level higher than "-san" and is used to confer great respect.

-kun: This suffix is commonly used at the end of boys' names to express endearment.

-chan: Feminine version of -kun.

Senpai: Superior/Upperclassmen.

Sensei: Master.


A/N: I forgot the last time I posted the last chapter for this story. I've been so preoccupied with school and other shit. But now, I had the time since it was nearing the end of the year and I've given up on midterms. At this point, all I'm worrying about is getting my college applications up. But anyways, other than that, nothing much.

It's a day past Christmas when I'm posting this, so Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays y'all!