Lovesick Girl
Chapter 9: Gossip on my Toast
Tuesday, September 10, 2013 AF


Alright so Monika's charm is quite irresistible and her resolve to make Sayori change is greater than my resolve to do anything throughout my entire life and now me and Monika are BFFs so we're doing it. Half the time we're not even paying attention to lessons (and believe me both me and Monika have quite the reputation regarding paying attention to lessons) we just want to talk with people and let them know that they shouldn't end up like Sayori.

I mean what else is there to say about lessons? Today is a day and teachers continue to be whimsical throughout the month like wow. Creative Emogal really picked out the sorts of teachers that just never lose their exciting even after an entire school year of dealing with stupid idiots. Maybe if they weren't stuck to a crummy school environment they'd be all exchanging video tapes with people all around the world or something. Right now I can't think of apropos technology to exchange video tapes though so no one cares especially neither Monika nor myself.

So first of all I really wanted the confirmation from Monika that Sayori doesn't even go to her classes and that won't be happening today. So before any lessons, she ran up to the Doki Doki High public landline and rang the number for Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory which is where Sayori lives. And her father picked up: "Hello this is Charlie Bucket from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory how can I help you?" and Monika "Yeah you see I'm a good friend of your daughter Sayori and I'm worried that she won't be attending to any duties at school especially the Literature Club can you check if she's asleep?"

So Charlie went away for a while and returned saying "Yes she is asleep." and Monika "You know that was only half of the job you chocolatehead you were also supposed to wake her up" and Charlie "But she is so sweet when she's asleep and nothing can happen to her! You know lately she has been returning home crying and just not being ready for the new school year..." and Monika just got really angry. "Yeah and what am I supposed to do about it? Wait I know already. Me and Madeline are on a brilliant psy-op mission to tell everyone about her behavior so she will change. Now be a good chocolatier, wake Sayori up and don't talk to me until she is already at school." And Charlie took a moment to process that sentence as an obvious (techno)logical contradiction but by that time Monika had already hung up.

So I took a moment to ask "Okay that was Charlie Bucket but can you tell me a bit more about Sayori's mother? I suppose it's something Andersen-" and Monika interrupted me like the assertive dominatrix that she is. "Of course, Riley Andersen. Who can basically be dismissed in any public appearance, ever, because she doesn't speak at all and just blankly stares into the distance. And we don't want Sayori to end up like that as well, now, do we? Now, let's get on with the mission."

And so we did. And I came up with a brilliant way to execute everything simultaneously. You see first you need a person with proper connections to other people and the power over them and that would be none other than the posse leader Magnolia Morgan-Chase. And then you need a sentence that simultaneously compliments her and gets to the point, like this one: "Your eyes are colored just right and no one needs to correct them! Unlike Sayori Bucket-Andersen who is just shining like the clear noon sky and is disgusting. Also, apparently she doesn't even go to her classes." and that was perfect because once I told her that she took notes on her notebook before turning to her posse of girls and telling them the same thing.

Anyway the next time Monika and me rendezvoused she had even more fun facts about Sayori and the Literature Club in general that do not have anything to do with Sayori's slacking. Turns out that those other names aren't their real names but Monika came up with them to enforce the idea of "new identities" on the Literature Club because its members didn't feel at home anywhere else. And those are as follows: Sayori was originally Bonnie Bucket-Andersen, Natsuki was originally Sabine Tatou and Yuri was originally Liliya Markova.

But that's not exactly juicy stuff that can be told to people. Let's say "Madeline Myers" was just a convenient nickname I used and my real birth name was something completely different (I can't think of any fake names to serve the purpose of my fake real name) and you just learned of that. Would you care? No, of course not. No we're focused on letting the entirety of Doki Doki High know one thing and one thing only and that is that Sayori (who most of the school already knows as Sayori) doesn't even go to her classes.

Anyway once Sayori did show up for school at lesson like six out of seven it was hilarious seeing her face once everyone was talking about the thing Monika had brought up just yesterday. I thought Sayori was a non-flip-flopper a moment ago when she was happy all the time but now she's just brought into tears and it worked and she's gonna change and Monika noticed that as well and we did a high five.

And just like that lessons were over and we two were a good team that did as much as we possibly could and that's not the only thing. You see if you "did as much as you could" but achieved absolutely nothing you would still be a useless piece of crap. But I was never such a person and I always achieved flying colors or whatever (until my treatment that is) and today was no exception. We succeeded in making Sayori change and now we just needed to have a typical Literature Club session. And once again I forgot to write a poem because Monika didn't task me with a poem she tasked me with the psy-op but like whatever.

So me and Monika headed to the Literature Club room first thing after classes and predictably we were the first ones here. Natsuki and Yuri turned up not too long after and immediately turned to their own reading material and I just didn't want to bother them and they were not the stars of the show.

And then we finally saw Sayori through a window in the wall (the internal walls of this school have windows for some reason, don't ask me, but if I were to speculate, they were placed there for the purpose of making sure there were more eyes on test-taking students to ensure that they didn't cheat) and she was clearly in deep emotions and regularly shook tears off her face and really didn't want to enter the Literature Club but also didn't really want to leave without giving any sort of notice. Weakling.

So we two just watched (we already had discussed everything we wanted for today during the day) and evidently Sayori noticed and finally gathered the confidence and walked in. And I just turned away since it was not my job to greet Literature Club members but Monika began. "Oh, hey, Sayori! Nice of you to finally turn up! Did you have a good night's sleep? And hopefully, this time it was a night." and Sayori only "Everyone in the school now knows it wasn't a night and I just don't get how you could be so oblivious, Monika."

"Yeah, I wonder. How could that suddenly become a well-established fact overnight? Wait facts don't become well-established during nights whoops I forgot humans don't usually socialize during nights." and Sayori "Look just let me get to the point okay? I'm... I'm leaving the Doki Doki Literature Club. You were right; I should focus on my studies more and this social life thing is only detrimental to that."

And Monika clearly had some conflicting emotions of her own but eventually resorted to a default "Alright." and watched as Sayori left without unpacking everything. And then Monika turned to me and "Okay that was most definitely not a planned consequence and I really should tell you why. You see Creative Emogal only allows clubs to be officially registered once they have four members and with Sayori left that makes us three unless you officially join which would make it four again. So I'm making you an official member and of course you wouldn't say no to that now would you?" and I only nodded because in front of Monika I never really had a choice.

And thus, the Literature Club meeting proceeded as usual and since Natsuki and Yuri were still busy and I still had gotten everything I knew from Monika I needed to occupy myself with reading as well. So I looked through the Literature Club shelves and most of them were Natsuki's comics but there was this one dusty old book that probably hasn't been touched since Flashlight Girl graduated. Until today haha I totally touched it and grabbed it and started reading it.

The book turned out to be about how to win the success and trust of people written by Curiosity Neĝelante Samsung. It was pretty obvious that this was another person who was into this whole Samsung debacle alongside Sectumsempra and Sophia and his success story is literally unreplicatable (anyone who became successful in the exact way as the Samsung is automatically in violation of their copyright law and their assets must be ceased by Samsung Group) but it's always fun seeing just how much he is full of, while simultaneously not needing to worry to adhere to his principles of etiquette because this isn't Samsung Group Adolescent Education Facility, this is Doki Doki High, baby.

Just for laughs and giggles I copied entire passages of the book into a page I ripped out of the Never Look Back Notebook, then started writing notes in between them making fun of everything, and there is literally an everything for every sentence, and the notes got so numerous that I had ripped multiple pages. This is a fairly fun writing project to do and I wanna present it instead of a poem because I still feel really strongly about never ever writing a poem, but I will need to see what everyone else's reactions to it are.

I was halfway through doing a rewrite and commentary of Chapter 1 of the book when Monika, completely unprompted, shouted "Okay, everyone!" and Natsuki and Yuri recoiled and I looked up. Alright it was time to share writing and I started with my lines between lines thing that really needed a better name than "my lines between lines thing" but it's not like I have anyone to look up to who actually comes up with proper names for things. Yes, Principal Creative Emogal, if you are somehow reading this, it's a direct reference to you.

First, reactions. Obviously Sayori had already left the Literature Club so she didn't see what I was doing so instead we're starting with Natsuki. And she really liked the idea that critique could be applied to someone else's writing instead of hers, because she had received so much mockery for not telling proper stories with her poems, not even metaphorical ones, and it had really started to get on her nerves, so to counter that Natsuki was also going to start with her own lines between lines thing, but targeting Yuri's poem, because everyone liked Yuri so, so much and Natsuki finally wanted to open some eyes.

Then there was Yuri who, predictably, noted that a lot of my comments are insulting, and she expressed a deep desire that, if the lines between lines thing ever takes off, that the comments in there should be nice, whatever that means. And then I replied that comments that look nice can always be sarcastic and how would you ever distinguish between genuine nice and sarcastic nice? And that just made Yuri retreat into her own poem and not talk to me again this day. I guess talking with Yuri is out of the question, too.

And lastly there was Monika and I had fully explained to her that this is what I wanted to do with the gaps in her poems so she nodded to herself. And then she charmingly smiled at me and "But you would never actually do that to me, now, would you? After all, making Sayori leave the Literature Club was always our objective." and at the moment I just smiled but now I realize that Monika had literally been changing history because previously she wanted Sayori to be a Vice-President. What is actually going on here, girl? Will I just forget all the anger that I have built up towards you once you appear in my face again? I need answers that writing a diary can't give me.

And that was that for poem sharing. And I think after that Monika wanted to talk to people about the Teacher's Day presentation but it backfired. Monika was like "Okay, everyone, for the next Teacher's Day on October 5th I want the entire Literature Club to do a big presentation of poems that will advertise the club to more members!" and not only did neither Natsuki nor Yuri want more members of the Literature Club, Yuri countered "But I thought Teacher's Day, as established by Samsung Group officials even before Creative Emogal's reign, was always about a deep connection that a teacher and a student formed? Not a student and another student?"

And then Monika "Do you actually want me to suddenly become a teacher at Doki Doki High? Because I have other plans for the future. You see I am going to write the most amazingly terrible poem - ugh, I mean story. What is up with your obsession with poems, anyway? Especially Sayori's. She is the one that started it when she was the second member of the Literature Club and she 'accidentally' showed me a poem. There are no accidents, Sayori. Just the path that fate takes, which might have detours, but those detours have all been planned in advance." and Natsuki and Yuri and I just stared. Was there really all this resent that Monika had built up towards Sayori? Did we actually have more material to gossip about, rather than just "Sayori doesn't even go to her classes"? This is important stuff! I was sick of repeating the same line over and over again!

"Yeah Monika is becoming incomprehensible and rambling again that's our cue to leave." Natsuki suddenly spoke up and she and Yuri packed up their stuff and left. And I once again watched them through the wall window and they were shaking heads to themselves. And Monika then "Oh don't worry. Those two will definitely not leave. I was just suggesting getting new members as a possibility. I don't want to replace anyone. Except for Sayori that is you are now my Vice-President that is an official Doki Doki Literature Club decree. Alright nothing more to say between us two club dismissed." and I just stared at her with this weird feeling in my eyes is this the mythical "love" that Vivian was telling me about? And if so why isn't it for a boy in the first place?

But anyway that was that and tomorrow, we'll see how Sayori changed and in which direction. And also maybe Monika is the one who needs to change but of course I don't look at my diary during the day so I'll inevitably end up forgetting this. But that's a problem for the me of tomorrow.

Yours truly, Madeline Myers.