Hello everyone, I'm back with a new one-shot where I ponder a question that I am quite sure I am not the only one to ask. This is my answer. Hope you enjoy.

Note: I do not own and thus can claim no rights to Zootopia or its characters. They belong to Disney. Not that they are doing anything with the property…

The question:

Benjamin James Clawhauser V. The nicest mammal any mammal could care to know. The question is, how did Ben become Ben? What drives a cheetah of all mammals, who clearly made it through the ZPA in the top percentile of his class, to become the mammal we know him as? What made Ben into Ben?

I saw a picture on Deviant Art by BlueDouble called ZPD Rapid Responder. It's of a cheetah at full tilt, and made me think of this.

Yes, I totally am borrowing the 10-7, and I really hope BlueLighthouse doesn't mind, but really… where else in all the worlds of Zootopia would this story happen?

On with the show.

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Judy walked toward the 10-7 after exiting the subway just a block away, a smile on her face. The smile despite the fact that Nick was working an undercover stakeout in Happy Town with Fin and Mike. She actually hadn't seen him in a few days, but she understood that he was working and would be safe. Plus, he had both Fin and Mike to watch his back. So She, Lizz, and Ben, were hitting the 10-7 for a few drinks as they were all off shift for the next few days.

Smiling wider and giving Petey a wave, she entered the bar and sought out her quarry, which was easy enough to find. Ben's excited voice and squeal carried easily over the din of conversation, clink of glasses, and other noises of the bar. Walking past the bar proper, she picked up a drink, giving a wink to the bartender. "Thanks babe, you're the best."

Giving a sultry grin back to Judy. "Only the best for you."

With a nod and a smile, Judy lost any further reply in the din of the bar and her focus on listening to Ben and Lizz.

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"Come on, Ben. You have got to tell me who it is. I don't care if it is a boy, a girl, more than one. I just need to know. You seem so much happier recently."

"A gentle mammal doesn't kiss and tell."

"So you have kissed them."

"Mmm.. Yeah… Hey! Stop it Lizz." Ben giggled. "It's still new, okay. I don't know if it is going to go anywhere, and it has only been one kiss and two dates. I haven't even been seeing them for a full month yet."

Judy hopped up onto the table. "Ben! So you have been on two dates, and gotten a kiss already? You do move fast, you naughty kitty."

Ben started at the sudden appearance of the rabbit. "Judy! Gah! Don't do that!" Clutching his chest, and trying to slow his now racing heart caused by the surprise and thoughts of the kisses he had shared. "But yeah. Oh gods, and what a good kisser. I could just lose myself in his taste."

Lizz grinned. "So it is a him?"

Ben looked between the two grinning females, and their very predatory cheshire grins, swallowing weakly. "Uhm… Maybe…" Judy stepped forward and Ben leaned back in the booth. "Judy?"

Judy gave Ben a look. "Are you happy? You're not being hurt or forced into anything? They're treating you right? No means no, yes?"

Ben nodded, eyes flicking between his table mates, seeing only honest concern and curiosity. "They've been nothing but considerate and understanding. Like I was telling Lizz, it's still too early to know if it is going to go anywhere. I've had too many relationships flame out because I tried to move too fast. I don't want to ruin this one by assuming too much too soon. It is kinda delicate with them. They're scared because, well… They have a position that being in a relationship with me could put them in jeopardy. Then again, they're already married."

Lizz gasped and glared at Ben. "Ben! You are not getting with a married mammal‽"

Ben laughed. "Actually, yes. Two of them. It's a couple, and they were looking for a third. It's been amazing so far, we talked for like four hours the first time we got together. Just sat in a secluded booth of a diner and enjoyed each other's company. For the second date, they cooked me dinner at their home, and while we only kissed, it was heavenly. I really think they are what I have been missing in all my other relationships. They understand me, support me, and don't judge me. For, well…" Looking down at himself, his smile faltering.

Judy gave a sympathetic smile. "Ben… I know you have always been in Precinct One, that means you were in the top ten percent of your class. More, I know that you were the salutatorian and got beat for valedictorian by two points on a written test. A written test where the key was wrong. From what I hear, you were offered valedictorian after the fact when they realized the issues with the key and re-ran all tests that used that key. Something you refused to accept. So what happened to you Ben?"

Ben sighed and leaned back, looking off into the distance. "You two really are my best friends. I guess I can tell you. My shrink says it might help me to talk about it, and so did my new relationship. it's just so easy to open up to them. It feels natural. My shrink says that I should especially share with fellow officers, because they can understand, or at least sympathize. But that is going to require something a lot stronger." Waving down the waitress. "Hey, sweetie. It's story time. I need some lubricant."

With a nod, the waitress walked off and returned with several drinks. "On the house, if it is the story I think it is."

Ben nodded with a sad smile. "Thanks, love. You're the best."

Several rounds later for Ben, Lizz and Judy feeling a good buzz but not nearly drunk, Ben sighs. "Okay… So, first. You're right, Judy. I should have been Valedictorian. It was my records that you broke." Pointing at himself and then her. "Meaning I obviously wasn't who I am now. I was driven. I wanted to clean up the city and make it a better place, much like you. And I was so fast…" Ben looked off into the distance, clearly lost in memory for a moment. "I didn't accept the after-the-fact upgrade because I didn't need it, and it wasn't the fault of the mammal that got it. They didn't do anything wrong or cheat, it was the fault of whoever made the key wrong for that test, and all it would have done is swap our slots. We both would have still ended up in P1.

After my initial training, I was given a regular partner, a wolf named Jefferson Jeffers. Yeah, his parents were not especially creative. He was strong, fast, and a really good kisser, but I'm getting ahead of myself."

Both females grinned at that as Ben continued. "After a year on the force, we had taken down hundreds of criminals, gotten parking duty a few times, mostly because of Jeff. We knew each other, and I fell in love with him. I thought he was a good mammal…" The turn in Ben's tone from happy to sad had both Lizz and Judy glancing at each other worried. " I thought he was the kind of mammal, the kind of officer, I wanted to be. He taught me the city from an officer's perspective.

You see, I'm actually from Happy Town. I grew up there. I knew Nick back then. He had taken me under his wing, taught me the streets, how to survive, all that. My parents had died in an apartment fire that took his dad as well. Nick kept me out of Kit Services grasp. I guess they didn't think to look for a cheetah cub in the home of a fox.

Then one day, a family of cheetahs appeared. I was fourteen at the time. Nick's a few years older than me. Anyway, they were looking for me and I couldn't understand why. Then Nick appeared and shoved me into what turned out to be my aunt's arms. The whole time he had been making me stay in school and looking after me, he had been hunting them down.

He knew Kit Services would never actually try and find any extended family to take in some poor pred from Happy Town, so he protected me and found them. It took him three years, but he found them. So yeah, I was eleven when my family was killed, and the ZPD that were in Happy Town didn't bother to investigate. Course, they didn't because they were getting a cut of the insurance money to look the other way.

I wanted to be my best. I wanted to clean up the corruption I saw in the ZPD having lived on the streets, and my uncle and a few older cousins are ZPD, and good officers. The kind of officer that I wanted to be. They supported me in wanting to join the ZPD. They ensured I was as prepared to be the good cop I wanted to be, as I could be. Jeffers had other ideas."

Judy frowned. "If you knew Nick from before, why haven't either of you said anything?"

"I only recognized him when he called me Benji, and I don't think he's said anything because he doesn't want who he was to taint me. We haven't really talked without you around either, and you know how hard it can be for him to open up. I think he might be scared of what I think of him from back then. So anyway."

Judy and Lizz shared a look, but kept silent. It was clear that Ben was on a roll, and if they stopped him, he probably wouldn't get going again. Both shared a silent promise to each other to hug him tightly once he was done, because they could tell he was going to need it by the time he was done.

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Ben was sitting behind the stand, reading the book he needed to do a report on by next week. He was nearly done with it and glanced up as a large, newer, SUV pulled up, thinkng it was a customer. His benefactor, protector, and brother in all but blood leaning against the building a few feet away. "Nick. I don't know why you make me keep going to school. We could make so much more if you and Fin let me drop out and help you properly. If you insist, I could get my GED. I looked at some practice tests. I could finish it easy."

Nick chuckled almost sad, which made Ben turn to look at him as Nick approached the SUV and several cheetahs got out. "I make you stay in school Benji because you are so much better than all this." Indicating the stand. "You can do anything you want, be anything you want." Walking up he shook the hand of the large male cheetah and nodded, saying something Ben couldn't hear. Turning to look over his shoulder, Nick smiled, but Ben could see sadness in his eyes. "Hey, Ben. Come here for a second. I want you to meet someone."

With concern, and thoughts of running, Ben walked over. Not noticing Fin appear, and start packing up this school stuff. Or that one of the other cheetahs that had shown up was helping and slipping several duffle bags into the back of the SUV they'd pulled from Fin's van. "Sure, Nick…"

Giving his not quite yet patented smirk, Nick gave Ben a shove, causing him to stumble into the female. "Ben. I'd like you to meet your Aunt Betty and your Uncle John. John is your dad's older brother. They've been looking for you ever since they found out what happened to your parents."

Betty wrapped Ben in a hug. "Oh Benjamin! I'm so glad we finally found you." Looking past him at Nick, tears in her eyes. "Thank you. Thank you for keeping him safe and for helping us find him."

Nick just nodded and started packing up the stand, as Ben turned in the embrace to look at Nick. "Nick? What's going on?"

Nick turned, clearly holding his mask in place by force. "Simple, Benji. You're going with your family. Your real family. They'll take good care of you now. They have a really nice, big place, in Savannah South. They're all ZPD in some form or another. So beat it. You don't need to be hanging around a couple of worthless foxes. Go be everything you can be. Go be whatever you want to be, and I know you can be." With that Nick turned his back and refused to look at Ben as he finished packing up the stand.

Looking down, he saw Fin holding up his backpack. "Here. All your school stuff has been moved to your new school. Now listen, Ben. You try and come back here to find us, and I'll beat your scrawny ass. You look for us, and I'll bite your face off. Now get out of here you mangie cat. Go do something with your life other than this." Waving towards Happytown in general." Shoving the backpack into Ben's paws.

Ben took his baseball bat out of the bag and looked at it. Handing it to Fin. "Here. If you two really don't want me around anymore. Fine." Shoving the bat into Fin's paws. "You can keep the bat. I'm sure they'll buy me a new one."

"I'm sure they will. Now skat, cat. I don't ever want to see your scrawny tail around here again. You get me?"

Ben nodded sadly as he watched the foxes walk away, never looking back. He turned to the Aunt and Uncle he didn't even know he had with sad eyes. "I don't understand. They… Why are they just walking away?"

John carefully guided Ben into the back seat. "I think they care for you far more than you may think right now, Ben. I'm a cop, like the fox said. I know how to read mammals, and I think they are both hurting right now, but they know you will be in a better place with us."

"But they said they don't want to see me anymore. Why wouldn't they at least say goodby?"

Betty got in the car and looked back at Ben. "How long have you been with them, Ben?"

"Ever since the fire. Nick dragged me away from the scene before Kits Services could pick me up. It was only a little after my birthday."

Betty nodded. "And they have taken care of you. I know you have decent grades in school, and are still going."

Ben nodded and looked down. "Yeah. Nick and Fin refused to let me drop out. They helped me with my homework when I needed it. I don't understand."

"I know sweetie. I know. It'll make sense when you get a bit older. I'm sure they have been like brothers to you. Like your uncle said. They're foxes, Ben, they know how society views them. They want what's best for you, and being around them is only going to keep doors closed to you. It isn't fair, but it is the way the world is. We can only hope to make it better for every mammal, including your friends. Now let's get you home. You have the weekend to get settled in, but you have a new school to start going to on Monday. If you want to make them proud, do your best. Nick wants us to let him know how you are doing every so often. That alone tells me that they care about you more than it might seem right now."

Ben looked down at the backpack in his paws. It was new, and was not cheap, and not a knock off. Thinking over his time with Nick and Fin, he realized that only on very rare occasions did they get him something that wasn't new or at most only slightly used. Even while they wore clothes that were threadbare at best sometimes. "Okay…"

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Ben wiped his eyes and finished his drink as another appeared. "Thanks, hon. So I went home with my aunt and uncle. I never saw Fin or Nick again, not that I got much chance. School, homework, after-school sports, studying ZPD manuals. I didn't have time to look for them, and my uncle later told me that was Nick's idea. Keep me occupied.

It was about a year and a half later. I was on the baseball team. I overheard my uncle once, baseball practice got rained out and I got home early. He was talking to Nick, telling him how good I was doing. How I would be ready for the ZPD by the time I graduated. I listened for the whole conversation, then went to my room and cried.

I knew what my aunt and uncle had told me, but I was angry with Nick and Fin all the same. They were my family, and they just … abandoned me to mammals I never knew. It wasn't that my Aunt and Uncle didn't care. I knew they did. They showed it every day. It's that my brothers had just walked away from me. It hurt so bad, but then I heard that conversation. I could tell that Nick was asking questions, I could hear his voice, even if I couldn't understand what he was saying. I did hear the last thing through. He told my Uncle to give me a hug from him and Fin and tell him that they were proud of me, just not to let me know.

Later that day, just before dinner, my report card came in. It was all top marks, and he did give me a hug. Told me that if Nick and Fin were there, they would tell me how proud they were of me and to keep up the good work.

From there I entered the ZPD right out of Highschool. I got my Associates online during my senior year and the summer that followed. I was so proud, and yet sad that my brothers were not there. I had confronted my Uncle a few months after the call, and he told me that he had a conversation with Nick every month. Sent him photos of me at the games and such. So I knew when I saw my cousin holding up a phone as if taking video, he was probably on Muzzletime with Nick and Fin. I confirmed it later by snatching his phone and dialing the last number."

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Snatching the phone from his cousin, Ben sprinted away. His cousin yelling after him, "Hey, Ben! What the hell, mammal?"

Hiding beneath the bleachers, Ben dialed the last number. The face of a red fox answered. "Hey, Mike, what's up? Oh… Hey Ben."

Wiping tears from his eyes. "Nick?"

"Hey, Benji. How you doing? Is that a graduation gown?"

Ben chuckled with a sniff. "Yeah. Salutatorian." Yeah, that just seems to be what I get. Got it in high school, and the ZPA. "I was kinda hoping to see you guys here."

"Sorry buddy, but there was no way they'd have let a couple of street foxes show up at that ceremony. Surely you know that by now."

"Yeah. I… Thank you for finding my Aunt and Uncle, Nick."

Nick smiled sadly from the phone. "You needed real family, Benji. Family who could help you be who you could be. You're better than just living on the streets. Always were. I hear you're joining the ZPD in the fall. I know you will do great. When you get out there, kick some real criminal ass. Just remember, some of us don't have a lot of options, so be gentle, okay?"

"I promise, Nick."

"That's all I ask. Maybe we'll see you when you are out on patrol some time. Just don't expect us to acknowledge you. The last thing you are going to need is it getting around that you are friendly with a couple of foxes. So we'll catch you." Looking off camera, he turns the phone to show Fin."

Fin looks into the camera. "Good job on graduating, cat."

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Ben looked over at the two females with a sad smile. "With that, they cut the call off. I tried calling back, but it was suddenly not in service. I guess they were using a burner. That cemented in me that they really did care. They found a way to be there when I graduated, even though they couldn't be there physically. I guess that healed the last of the hurt. They were doing the best they could, so I would do my best.

I joined the ZPA that winter, and graduated second in the class as you know. Got to the precinct, and this was before Bogo was chief. He was just a senior detective at the time. Got through my training period, then got assigned Jeffers as my permanent partner. It was good at first. We got to know each other, and he was dating another wolf at the time. Still, I found him attractive, but I knew I was young, and he was in his late thirties. What could he see in me? I was just a green, junior officer, and his partner.

After we had been partners for over a year and a half, we were out drinking one night after a long patrol and we had the next few days off. I got a bit tipsy and admitted to him that I had developed feelings for him. He told me that he found me attractive and that he always found felines to be sexy. Nothing happened that night, but things did change between us. He left the wolf he had been seeing and we started seeing each other after work, and more than just a few after shift drinks.

As you know, that isn't strictly against the rules, but it isn't encouraged either. There is risk when you mix romantic involvement with partners on the force. You both know that all too well. That is where the problem lay for me. I was young. It was my first real relationship, and Jeff took full advantage of that. It isn't that I hadn't had sex before." Ben blushed deeply. "Fin and Nick made sure of that." Seeing the glares from both females, he put up his paws to forestall their outraged exclamations. "Hey, it wasn't like that. They told me that no matter what, before I got older and into a real relationship, I needed to know what I liked. They didn't care who or what it was with, only that it was important for me to know before I went out looking and ended up in a bad relationship and hurt. Lot of good it did me, but they did their best. They made sure I was safe. I mean, Nick was only 17 and Fin 16 at the time they turned me over to my Aunt and Uncle.

Uncle John said he had been talking to Nick for three months before he told him where to find us. Nick did a full background check on them, along with my cousins. Including checking with underworld sources to make sure they were good, clean, cops. They were. …" Ben looked down sadly. "Jeff wasn't, but there was nothing Nick or Fin could do, and because they kept distant, I am not even sure they knew. I hadn't seen or heard from them since that call at my graduation. I wasn't even sure they were still in the city, or still alive.

Jeff was good. I'll give him that. He was my first love, so I suppose I let myself be blinded to what was going on. It isn't that he cheated on me. That probably would have been easier. I think he even truly did care about me. We had been dating for a bit over a year, and I was happy. I'd been promoted thanks to a few busts we were in on. We were making names for ourselves, taking down big chunks of Mr. Big's operations outside of Tundra Town. Little did I know that Jeff was in with Bigs' rivals of the time. A bunch of drug pushers out of the Rainforest.

As you know, Big is a lot of things, but he absolutely despises drugs. It is one of the few businesses in the underworld that he won't get involved with and actively goes out of his way to put down. Even going so far as to provide info to the ZPD. That and Mammal Trafficking. For a mobster, Big is pretty honorable." Giving a shrug. "Old school you could say. So Jeff and I were together, the sex was great, we were on the top of the world. Then one day he told me he needed to run an errand. No big deal, right? Asked me if I wanted to come along, as it was part of his side-job that helped pay for the really nice place we lived in.

Yeah, I'd moved in with him. I loved him. Still do I guess. I accepted the offer, not realizing what was going to happen or the nightmare that would spin out of that. It was a meeting with his friends out of the Rainforest, and he was bringing me in. I had enough sense to keep my cool and roll with it. I smiled, said what I knew they wanted and needed me to say, and was very agreeable. Just like Jeff expected me to. I credit Nick for that. Teaching me how to wear a mask. I hadn't needed it since they'd turned me over to my aunt and uncle, but it probably saved my life that night. … No, I can say without reservation that those hustler skills I learned from them did save my life that night.

I didn't know what to do. I was scared, and afraid to talk to anyone, including my uncle. The solution was kinda forced on me. Big had me picked up one night while I was heading home late, Jeff got off early for an appointment. Another meeting with his friends. I'd gotten my first payment from that gang, but never spent a dime of it. Told him I wanted to save up a bit first. Jeff bought it. Even showed me how to rinse the money. There are reasons I get assigned review of certain types of cases."

Ben gave the girls a rueful grin before continuing. "Anyway, one of Big's bears grabbed me as I stepped onto the street from the subway station. Within an hour, I was dangling over a pool of freezing water. You know which one." Giving Judy a pointed look, which caused Judy's ears to fall and Lizz to give her a very confused look. "I was so scared, but Big is not stupid. He listened to me. We made a plan, explaining that yes, he was a mobster and a lot of nasty things, but he hated drugs and mammal traffickers. It isn't as if that is a secret to anyone, but it is a bit shocking to have it slap you in the muzzle while fearing that you only have a few more moments to live before you drown while freezing to death.

To him, it was one thing to operate a prostitution ring, when they are willing participants. He takes good care of his workers. Health care, all of that sort of thing. He even pays for them to go to school and get out of that work. He's a bit of a contradiction when it comes to things like that. It's a very different issue when you take someone against their will, especially under-age, get them hooked on drugs and then make them work to earn their next fix. It's funny though. As much as he hates drugs, he supports legalization. Something about taking away the stigma so that mammals that want to get help, can get it, and those that do use, can do it safer. Kinda like prescription drugs."

Shaking his head with a wry smile, Ben sighed and continued, though his eyes betrayed the sadness still in his heart. "But I digress. The plan was simple. I was to go to any senior officer I trusted. Big even gave me a list of ones I shouldn't. Didn't say who they worked for, but the implication was clear. Go to anyone on that list and I might as well just hand myself over to Jeff's friends to be killed.

It was a terrifyingly long list, and included the chief at the time. It was Bogo I finally went to. I explained to him what had happened, how Jeff had brought me in, how I had gotten the first payment but not done anything with it. How scared I was, knowing my career was over, no matter what.

I explained how I had a meeting with Big, involuntarily, how he hated drugs, and was willing to supply us with as much information as needed to take down the drug dealers, their bosses, and officers on the take. Big didn't want anything in return. I mean, he was getting what he wanted. The removal of the dealers and the drugs, he could expand his own operations into the void, and we knew that is what he was going to do. It was a question of what was better. The devil we knew in Big, an organization that had been around for decades already at that point, and was, for want of a better term, honorable. Or… The drug dealers and pushers, who had no code, no morals, and no issues abusing other mammals, or dragging young mammals into their clutches and destroying their lives.

In the end, even though we discussed it at length, the decision was pretty much a foregone conclusion. Bogo had a friend in the ZBI, and with them, we set everything up. It was going to happen quietly. A good dozen high ranking ZPD officers, as well as a few poor mammals like myself were going to be arrested. I got a deal because I wasn the one who did the right thing. The others got deals to testify later, and most took them. Just like I was, terrified and not knowing what to do or who to trust. Shockingly, the DA at the time was actually clean.

I had one request. That I be the one to bring in Jeff. I loved him. I considered him my mate at that point, and had even been planning on proposing to him. I just didn't know how deep into it he was, or what his actual connections were."

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Ben was terrified, walking up to the home he shared with his mate. Only he wasn't returning home from work to share a meal, he was looking for his mate to arrest him. There was backup just down the street and listening in on the wire he was wearing. Walking into his home, holding his mask on with everything he was worth, he called out. "Jeff? You home baby?"

"Yeah, in the kitchen. Come here."

Ben walked into the kitchen and faced a gun, someone stepping out of the bathroom also pointing a weapon at him. "Jeff? What are you doing?"

Jeff was crying. "I could say the same to you, Ben. We're burned. Please. Tell me you didn't do this. They say you met with Big, and then all of a sudden. All the higher ups are getting pinched. Michaelson said he saw you talking to that damn buffalo, Bogo. That you were in on several of the raids."

Ben was crying now too. He was terrified. "I don't know what you are talking about. Why would I meet with Big. We're cops, we don't meet with mobsters, unless we're busting them."

The barrel of a gun, a lethal, was pressed into the back of Ben's head, Michaelson speaking from behind him. "Don't lie. I saw the bear pick you up. I saw you talking to Bogo and going over something you got delivered by one of Big's couriers. The only reason I haven't killed you yet is because this idiot begged me not to, and so I could get the money you've been paid and he said you haven't spent. So let's go, kitty cat. And don't try anything. You may be fast, but you're not faster than a bullet."

Ben turned his head, tears drying up as the adrenaline kicked in. His heart pounding as fast as if he was running full tilt. "Jeff, please baby. I don't know what he is talking about. Please."

Jeff shook his head, tears streaming. "I saw the video, Ben. I… I just wanted to see you again before he does what is needed."

Ben dropped his mask. "You mean before he kills me‽ You know you are not going to get away. You know that I didn't come here without backup, right?"

Michaelson chuckled. "Your backup is going to be a bit busy with the ambush. The ZPD wants a war, they are going to get one. Once we're done with the ZPD, we'll deal with Big. Then this city will be ours. I'll find Jeff as many kittens as he wants, as often as he wants. Because unlike you, he's loyal." Shoving Ben towards the bedroom. "Now move it. Lets get this over with and maybe I'll make it quick, so Jeff doesn't have to suffer."

Ben used the adrenaline coursing through his system, along with some things he had learned many years before while living with two foxes. Spinning with all the speed he had, he knocked the gun away from Michaelson, who was a large black and gray wolf, and Jeff's older half brother. The gun went off, but high and wide, putting a hole in the ceiling and rupturing a water pipe. Water started to rain down into the room from it as Ben then kept spinning and drove his trailing elbow into the side of Michaelson's head. This put him off balance, and with a sweep with his tail, pulled Michaelson off his feet.

A shot rang out from the kitchen and Ben felt himself spun around by the impact, pain flaring across his shoulder and chest as he fell, tripping over Michaelson's unconscious form. Looking up, he saw Jeff, tears streaming from his eyes.

"Ben. Please love. You have to come with us. If you don't, Ed will kill you, especially when he wakes up. We can tie him up, leave him here. We have the money, both our money. We can live a long time in another city, safe from all this."

Ben frowned, his mask back in place, though tears still streamed from his eyes. "That would be easier to believe if you were not still pointing a gun at me. I was in love with you. I thought we were going to get married. I was even planning on proposing in a few months, once I got a ring and studied up on some more wolf cultural stuff. Why are you doing this?"

Looking away, the gun fell to his side. "Because I have to. You don't realize what I have done. I tried to keep you out of it, but Ed forced me to bring you in. If I hadn't he was going to arrange an accident for you. He never accepted me, but if I was going to be with you, he needed you to be someone he could control. I didn't want this for you. I didn't want to drag you down with me. I should have let you go, gotten you a different partner I knew was clean like you. That's how I always did it before… But I fell in love with you before I realized what was happening. I thought I could keep you safe and away from it. I even tried to pull back. To stop working with Ed, but that's what tipped him off that you were different to me. I'm so sorry Ben."

Ben used Jeff's distraction to grab the gun that Michaelson had and he had knocked free. Leveling it at Jeff, he could not hold the mask anymore. "Jeff. If you love me, you'll put down the gun and surrender. Please, love. Don't make me do this." Coughing and tasting blood. "I'll say it was Michaelson that shot me, not you. No one will question it. Turn state's evidence."

Jeff turned and looked at Ben, seeing the gun, a sad, grim look took over his face. "I would if I could, but I can't, Benny." Looking down for a moment, a decision clearly made in his eyes when he looked back up. "They'll take my evidence, no problem. But I've been at it too long. I've done things I cannot get past, and things they cannot overlook or deal away. Best I'll get is life and dodge the DP. I'll be pack-less, not even the packs in prison will take me in after what I have done. I'm sorry Benny. I love you more than you will ever know."

Jeff whipped the gun in his paw up and both he and Ben fired. Ben was never able to tell who fired first, not that it mattered. Jeff's bullet went through the right side of his head, exiting the top left, while Ben's went through his heart. Michaelson had loaded his weapon with hollow points, so the hole in Jeff's back was a bit larger than the organ it struck.

A few moments later as Ben knelt next to Jeff's body, the pool of blood staining his knees, Michaelson groaned and sat up. Hearing this, Ben leapt up and attacked Michaelson. Screaming in rage through tears. "You did this! This is your fault! I'll kill you with my bare paws!"

A moment later, Ben was dragged off Michaelson, still screaming and fighting, having clawed up Michaelson to the point that he needed surgery to fix his chest and face, and was permanently scarred."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ben wiped away a few tears and took a deep, shaky breath. "When it was all said and done, Michaelson got the DP, along with dozens of others. He tried to claim a setup and police brutality, and with his scars, one could believe that. Yet, somehow all the information about Jeff's involvement disappeared, like it had never been there. Only Michaelson's and my fingerprints were found on the gun, and no mention of the head wound from Jeff shooting himself was in the record.

I don't know who did it, or why. Maybe to save me and my career. The fact that I had the money still was never mentioned. With Jeff dead, the house became mine. I sold it. I couldn't keep living there knowing what had bought it. I couldn't say where the money had come from that bought the house, the things, everything like that, and not put Jeff's reputation in the fire along with my own and my career.

I didn't pay attention to who bought it, or what was done with it. I just got a new place, and that was that. After I recovered, and got through the IA investigation that was clearly just for appearances... After so many higher ranking officers, including the chief of police got taken down like that, they needed a few PR points. So I got lucky there too, me and several of the other younger guys that hadn't been in long. Most were let quit quietly after everything quieted down. No black mark on their records, just a warning to never join law enforcement again. Not a bad deal in the end, better than going to prison. While I was recovering, they put me on dispatch and I proved to be really good at that.

I was also eating my way through as many doughnuts as I could. By the time I could get back on the street, I couldn't. I was actually larger than I am now. That's when Bogo got me to see a shrink, and not the department one. One who wouldn't be required to report to higher ups if I revealed actual criminal activity, especially given the cover up of Jeff and my activities.

I asked Bogo once, after he made chief, about what happened with Jeff and what to do with the money. He told me to hold onto it. To put it slowly into the bank, and then donate it. Claim it was part of the payment, part cash and part check, for the house, furniture, etc… Which is what I did. I still can't spend that money. I've tried, but I feel guilty every time I even think about touching it. I've made donations with it, mostly in Jeff's name, and that's about the only way I can use it that doesn't eat me up inside.

Bogo has since made sure I could stay off the street. I tried, I really did. I tried to get back on the street, dropped the weight, got back in shape, but I just couldn't pull my gun when I needed to and nearly got my partner shot. After that, I went back to being dispatch, and that's that. I make the world a better place, and try to use the chance I was given by not losing my career, by being the best dispatcher I can be.

I drown my fears that someone will find out about me, about what happened, in doughnuts. That I'll end up in jail and Michaelson can finish the job he wanted to do. He was scheduled to die three weeks after the council commuted all sentences to life without parole and ended the death penalty.

So now you know how I became the big, doughnut munching dispatcher. I know the city so well because I knew it from both sides. Thanks to Nick and Jeff. I… I haven't mentioned that I am his Benji to Nick because I don't think he'd be proud of me anymore. I just ask that you not say anything." Ben had his eyes closed, so he didn't see the looks of concern on the faces of his drinking partners. His eyes snapping open as he was wrapped in a hug by both of them.

Judy whispered in his ear, "Ben, I can promise you, Nick is proud of you. You did the best you could. It might have taken you another week or two, but you would have still ended up talking to Bogo on your own. I'm sure of it.. You would have worked with him and taken down all those bad cops. That you didn't spend that money at the beginning, that you still can't bring yourself to do it, proves that you are that good cop we all know you are."

Lizz chuckling into his other ear. "Exactly what Judy said. You are a good cop, Ben. One of the best. And if you can't be on the streets, well, we all are better for you being our dispatcher. You're the best in the business. Don't think we don't know that you use your weekends to explore the city and find new routes and new hidey holes. You've been noticed by those on patrol."

Ben gasped when Nick's voice appeared. "Yeah, and you don't have to worry about me being disappointed in you, Benji. You did a lot better than most of us would have done in such a situation. Gods only know how you survived what Jeff did to you. Making you shoot him like that."

"Nick?"

Fin's deep voice appeared over his shoulder. "Yeah, and me too. We had just finished up the arrests when Nick texted Judy. So she called him and put us on speaker to listen in."

Judy looked away. "Sorry Ben, but I was hearing your story, and I knew Nick needed to know. I knew already that you knew him. He told me. We don't have secrets."

Ben turned teary eyes towards Nick. "Really?"

Giving Ben a wry smile. "Ben, you have done everything I hoped for you. You are a great cop, and have done your best to make the world a better place. You haven't shirked that responsibility just because you had a bad shake for a partner who used you and your love for them. I'd also be a rather huge hypocrite if I held what happened against you. You deserved the second chance you were given, and Jeff clearly loved you, given what you said. He was just in too deep to get out, and the only way he could save you from burning with him was what he did. It sucks, and it isn't fair, but as long as you find your happiness like I did, like Fin has. That's all we care about, no matter who, or what, it is with."

Fin nodded. "That's right. Don't think we haven't noticed your work to make sure mammals like foxes don't get picked up just because. The whole ZPD knows better than to have you find out they picked up a mammal just because they were a fox, a raccoon, or whatever… that happened to be near a crime. I've heard the stories of the warpath you create when it happens. That's forced the ZPD to get better, for everyone."

Ben was in tears. "Thanks guys."

Nick nodded. "And now that it's out in the open, how about you invite your Aunt and Uncle, cousins, along with Judy, Lizz, Fin, and I, over for a barbecue this weekend? We can swap some lies about arrests we made, laugh at stories about stupid criminals. Maybe you can even invite this new love interest of yours. It'd be good to meet the mammals that can finally help heal your heart. John has said that you closed up after that and a lot of your attempts to find love got burned by your fear."

Ben nodded. "It's true. It has been so hard to open up after that. I'm trying. I think these mammals may just be who I need. They understand and accept me, in all ways. But I know they wouldn't be comfortable joining a predator barbecue, the meat eating bunny notwithstanding."

Nick grinned as Judy latched onto that statement. "Oh.. So they're prey mammals that you have gotten with? The plot thickens."

Mike walked up with drinks. "What plot?"

Lizz grinned at her mate and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Simple. Apparently Ben is seeing someone new. Specifically a prey married couple who are looking for a third." Turning her attention to Ben, "So… Benjamin. Is it just one of them or both that are after your tail?"

Ben blushed brightly. "Gods, this is so embarrassing. It's a husband and wife. They're both after my tail, as you put it, and I couldn't be happier about it. They're amazing mammals, and that is all the more I am going to say. Now stop probing." Giving Lizz and Judy a glare as he crossed his arms."

Judy and the rest laughed. "Ben, we're just happy for you, and you seem happy. So long as you are happy, safe, and not being forced, that's all we actually care about. Even if we are going to be endlessly curious about who these mammals are."

With that, another round of drinks was ordered, toasts were made, and Ben felt some of the last pain wrapped around his heart start to loosen. His brothers didn't hate him, accepted him, and now he could actually share his life with them again. All was right with his world. He only wished he could be honest about who his relationship was with. It hadn't been two dates, it had been ten dates, and the sex was simply amazing. They were mates already, he had actually moved in with them over six months prior and was renting out his own house as an Air BnB.

However, that is a different story.