Chapter 5: The Mortalian Empire

"Alright, that'll do," Kita said. "What a difference two seconds can make! If only I were able to hold the entire script in my hands..."

"Ahem."

"Ah!" Kita spun to face Link, who was waiting impatiently with his arms crossed. "Yes, yes, I haven't forgotten about you. Stay put just like that. Don't try to run away from someone who's gifted in the art of harassment. And teleportation! I'm just like Lora but with more fur and charisma."

Link looked over his shoulder anxiously. "Kita, I need to..."

"Dance?"

"...what? No...I don't even know how..."

"Too bad, couldn't care less, you're doing it anyway."

Kita prodded him sharply on the forehead. Link seized and nearly fell as his eyes spiraled. The world seemed to spin 360 degrees and as everything righted, he blinked several times, shaking his head.

"You good? Brain still plugged in backwards? Just wait for the seed of dance to bloom." Kita then shouted to the restless crowd, "Alright you road rats, put a sock in it!"

"Only if you hurry and start the show!" a woman roared back. Others chanted the last word out of her mouth, beginning to stomp at the ground like paddock of unruly horses.

"Wait, now, wait! I've not done introductions yet. Haven't you yokels seen our new company? He's a whole forty-eight inches and then some!" Kita snapped his fingers.

Something yanked Link up by the collar and pulled his feet from the ground. "Mother?" he mewled, pedaling his legs. He rose steadily like he was attached to an invisible hook, rotating as he did.

"Everyone see? Everyone see him now?!" Kita yelled, though it was moot since it was dreadfully quiet all of a sudden. "Say hi to Hearthstone's finest, Junior!"

Link stuttered, burdened by dozens of undivided stares. He forced a wide smile and waved, still spinning slowly. At first no one reacted, then he felt a little better when the only Goron in the crowd waved back.

"Nah, come on! Aren't you going to do it with words?" Kita encouraged.

"...no," Link grumbled.

"No?"

"Yes."

"NO! That's not what the spirit of Hearthstone is about! It's all about pomp and prestigiousness!"

"Yeah, for the snoot noses!" a burly stonemason yelled. "Why's he green? It's hurting my eyes!"

"Ah, I dunno," Kita glanced in the speaker's general direction, then cackled. "Is that you, Mortan? Maybe he's green for the same reason you shoveled down twenty chicken sandwiches last Tuesday."

The stonemason's wife spoke out, "Then if that's the case, it's part of his way of life! So the kid's Verdanian!"

"Yes, maybe. It wouldn't hurt to think that," Kita said dismissively, rattling his hands around in his pockets. "Where did I put that darn thing...? And is that all, folks? Ohyou look like you want to say something there, Olly."

He was speaking to a little girl on the front row. "...I like your hat," she said to Link, sliding her hands over her face.

Link looked over his shoulder in surprise. "Oh! Thank you...my grandmother made it for me..."

"OH-KAY, introductions over!" Kita clapped his hands twice.

Link dropped. He halted a foot from the ground then plummeted the rest of the way, landing hard with a grunt. As Kita pulled out a wooden flute, the crowd began brewing with life again.

The solitary Goron beamed a grin over the thick sea of heads. "Finally! Hey, so who here is on break and ready to get us going?"

"Other than myself?" Kita asked, spiraling the flute between his hands in a figure-eight motion. He set it upon his mouth.

"Stop playing around, Grandit!" someone yelled at the Goron. "Pay attention, he's starting!"

Kita played a series of rising trills, bringing to mind a bird singing in the early morning of a new day. The Goron worker bent at the knees and began a steady, thudding beat not unlike the pounding of a drum.

Link found himself suddenly tapping a foot, almost against his will. Kita swept up to him and took his hands. As the crowd clapped their hands and stomped their feet in a lively rhythm, the fox began to sing:

Drift into a realm of everlasting harmony,

A land made like no other, blessed never to fall!

Enter through the gate for endless possibility,

Test the time of ages, cursed ever to stall!

The endless skies above rain stories of confusion,

Within the eyes of many hide the truths of time!

Step into the sun's light and ponder its illusion,

Take the stairs of silence for a cunning climb!"

Kita rocketed skyward then steadily descended, gesturing animately as he continued. "Verily, the heart chokes, with the strength of passion. Fear not, find all your blokes, then have a grand time!"

He whisked to the ground, took his waiting partner by the hands once more, and pulled into the final verse:

"Peer past the veil and break through its heavy tale,

The light of fairies guides hope like a holy bell!

A moon that hides its face from the fierceness of the rising sun,

Casts both light and shadow as the all new one!

The kind that mask their tears fall deeper in seclusion,

The curse they bear is worldly compared to yours and mine!

The end they see is nothing, lacking absolution,

The calls of many echo, for aid that's divine!

Kita spun mightily, then flung Link into the air on the breast of a sudden, uplifting wind. As the boy flew high and let out a shout of laughter, the earth below him roared with approval.

This time Kita caught caught Link, doing a pirouette before setting him on his feet. The both of them bowed low. Multicolored gemstones began to fly from all directions, clattering to the ground at the pair's feet.

"Oh, why thank you!" Kita exclaimed. He moved swiftly, practically vacuuming the rupees up in a satchel, even pausing to catch a few from the air. "Thank you so very much! What a great payout for a good gig! Goodness, it's all still coming, don't you all have rents to pay and debt to dodge?"

Link experienced a sudden bolt of terror. He whirled, tense.

He wasn't able to see through the thick, riled crowd, but that didn't matter. He felt Lora's eyes burning into him like a red-hot branding iron.

She can't...see through people, can she? Link thought, sweating. He saw heads turning and people shifting. The crowd started to peel apart like an organic curtain, revealing a figure in black standing at the outskirts.

"Hey, there's our Sunny Sally!" Kita exclaimed, waving. He nudged Link twice. "Go on, go on! What're you waiting for? Kid, you'd better not make her come to you."

Link hesitated, if only because he wanted to delay whatever punishment he saw brewing in Lora's eyes. "Now she's upset with me," he hissed to Kita.

"Not so! Lesson one in a million about that gal...everything you need to know is in her eyes. What I'm seeing is that you're not in trouble. She already knows to give me credit where it's due. Now, skedaddle and take..." He slipped a red gem into Link's hand. "This...it's for being the best opening act I've had in a while. You don't think I'm being cheap, do you?"

"No...it's fine. Thank you..."

"Good! Good little human. Hurry up, before she actually does get impatient with you."

Link looked back towards Lora, holding his breath. He thought she may have taken a step or two closer. He forced himself to start walking through the parted crowd, now oblivious to all eyes but hers. Though, the closer he got, he began to feel more at ease. She really did look as plain as ever. He thought he may have imagined something that was never there.

He impulsively sped up into a trot, itching with the thought that they had been separated for too long. As he left the open gateway in the crowd, he didn't notice the ghostly silence that had taken over the pavilion again.

"Descendo," Lora uttered.

Link obliviously passed through a barrier of thickened air, stopping in front of her. "Huh?"

"Nothing. Are you alright?"

"Yes...why?"

He paid closer attention to her face and was enlightened. As barely existent the change was, it was the first time he detected a shift in her expression. She was now looking over his head with a little tension burning in her eyes.

"Kita isn't someone I want you to be around," she said. "He's a charlatan and thinks of himself as someone who's above both order and chaos...those are his own words, dramatic as they sound."

"I thought he was just annoying."

"That's putting it simpler, yes."

Link shrugged, turning the rupee over in his hands. He wouldn't be surprised if Kita had given him a fake one just for laughs. "I'm fine. I promise."

"Don't..."

He looked up at her curiously. "Don't what?"

Lora blinked once, slowly. Her eyes were smoothed over again.

"...nothing, Link," she muttered. "Come on...I've gotten a bit tired of the staring, so, we'll teleport instead of walk."

He gratefully drew close for her to put a hand on his shoulder. Lora's robes fluttered as though she were suddenly caught in a strong breeze, then they both vanished in a gasp of heavy, chilling wind.


Kita watched the pair vanish, then his smile took a sharp downturn. In fact, he outright scowled.

"Nice try with the sound canceling spell, Loranne. Joke's on you, I can read lips! Don't think I haven't noticed you marking your property..." Kita peered aside to see Grandit the Goron suddenly next to him. "GAH! Where'd you come from?"

"Just from five feet over. And you seem upset. That's something."

"What's nothing?"

"Nice try, and don't start the sweet talking. What's really going on here?"

"That's exactly what I'm wondering!" a local fisherman squalled, jabbing a gnarled finger at Kita. "It's never anything innocent with you, beast! Who was that boy with the Executioner?"

"Why ask me? You don't even know if I know who he is," Kita said.

"Then I'll ask you straight out. Do you know?"

"Yes and no, no and yes. It's the same case with all of you. Just think about how many times we've done our song-and-dance of welcome!" Kita insisted. "I mean...I know all faces, and some names, but I don't pry much farther than that. Unless you're quite unusual. Just to be frank, none of you are."

"Good for us sorry saps, then," a florist said, crossing her arms. "Who'd want someone like you nosing in on their personal life?"

"Think of my circumstances here, Aunt Flo. I'm already bored by the mundane...now, add all the years I've been alive and then you might start to understand my personal interests."

Grandit spoke out, "Well, I—"

But he then flopped his broad arms to the side of his body, biting his bottom lip. It looked like he regretted speaking up.

"Oh yes, now what's soddening your mind, Grandit?" Kita urged, letting his feet leave the ground and hovering on his front. He propped his head up in his hands. "Come now, hit us with your best shot."

Grandit looked around, suddenly seeming a little uncomfortable. "Fine," he said testily. "But don't douse me for this, alright? I just had a sudden thought that...that maybe, they were both related."

For several healthy seconds, no one moved or spoke; it was like he hadn't even said anything. Grandit looked around in amazement.

"...I mean...yeah?" he tried.

A man behind him asked, "Where'd you pull that drivel from, the ground?"

"Uhhhh, no drivel, and for us Gorons anything from the ground is considered legitimate," Grandit said, turning to face him.

"Tell us why you think they're related."

"I don't know. It just crossed my mind."

"Then that's nothing to go by!"

Kita opened his left eye, then his right one. He leered with those cherry-colored eyes of his. Grandit gasped sharply, clapping his large hands. "OH! That's why!" the Goron cried. "For Noh's sake, he's got her eyes! Yeah!"

"Congrats! Yes, that's true. He's right," Kita said lazily, flipping to float on his back. "He's right! Too bad he's right about an utter coincidence. Is that all you've got, Grandit?"

"Sure is! Hey, you're an ancient vagabond, Kita. You ever see anyone else in history with Lora's eyes?"

Kita glowered at him, still upside down. "No." he said curtly.

"Man! Makes you think, doesn't it?"

"Oh, just stop. Surely you've read up on empirical law, Goron, so you should know why she wasn't qualified to bear big-headed children."

Grandit stroked at his chin in thought, looking skyward. "Eh...true. But, you know, if anyone other than yourself could out-law the law—"

"That's beside the point...no, all of you shut up!" Kita snapped to the crowd. "Stop all that muttering and nonsense, there's nothing strange going on here! Here's an idea, Grandit. Why don't you go ask Loranne and see what she has to say?"

"Sure, and leave you all to plan my funeral in this very spot?" the Goron asked, grinning. "Pass. I'm content with harboring my harmless conspiracies."

"Pfft! Smart, but what a sorry way to live..." Kita muttered to himself. A hand popped up out of the crowd, waving back and forth. "Yes, you there. My word, look at all that poofy hair! Is that you, Flat Cakes Girl?"

A young woman with tawny hair slid into view, anxiously fretting with her hands. She grunted at Kita in displeasure. "That is not the name on my soul certificate. And Grandit's right. I did hear that boy call the Executioner Mother."

Funny! And I bet Lora's hating that. Kita thought, still grinning.

"The other thing..." the baker continued, "is that she called him son."

There was the sound of glass shattering as Kita's eyes widened to their widest extent. His voice cracked as he gasped, "Whaaaaaat? Are you blathering nonsense?"

"No, I'm not you," she drawled, backed up by a few peals of laughter from the audience. "Use magic or whatever to see if I'm lying, but I know what I heard."

"You heard wrong!"

"UH OOOH," Grandit's deep voice rolled with humor. "Someone's getting all defensive! So it's got to be true, then. What are you trying to hide, Kita?"

"Yeah and why would, what would she even gain by lying about something like this?" someone else shouted. Kita righted himself, beginning to fret with the large pearl hanging from his neck. He stared a thousand miles into the horizon, too stunned to reply.

....what on earth does Lora think she's doing? She knows that kid is an Outsider. She has to be playing along, but why would she? But now that I think, why would he be calling her mother in the first place?

Maybe...wait!

That's right...I keep forgetting the grand amount of tricks she knows. I KNEW that twerp's obedience was suspicious! She definetely pulled one of her fast ones to make him that way. Surely! And if it's never innocent with me, it's doubly so for her! But she'd never admit—

"KIIII—TAAAAAA!"

Someone bellowed his name so ferociously that the air shook and loose stones rattled on the ground. "Oh, for Noh's sake...who did you tick off now?" Grandit cried.

Kita let out a flat chuckle. Wonderful...sounds like my pleasant day isn't over. Too bad pixie brain's timing led her to the afterparty!


A little while later...


The Octowok

Lora blinked once, then again as the window she was facing came back into focus. She thought she may have zoned out again. Something was shaking agitatedly in her pocket and she reached for it.

What she laid her hand on was a pearly sphere about the size of a small orange. It was quite the precious artifact, being one of the only two in existence. A single touch while it was active allowed the thoughts of its twin's holder to be conveyed straight to her mind.

....having a little trouble, Kita? Lora thought, adjusting the sapphire broach pinned to her robes. Unless you prove otherwise, I believe this is all a situation of your own making...

The Octowok's owner was still bungling around in the kitchen. Earlier Lora had cleared out the customers and so the restaurant was empty. Then again, she realized it was too quiet. "Link?" she called, leaning off the wall. There was no answer. "Where did that boy go now...?"

She checked behind the bar, pulled the curtains on the show stage apart, and did several walk throughs of the restaurant. There was no sign of him anywhere.

"...Link?"

Lora unlocked the front doors and stuck her head out, scanning around raptly.

Did he really get impatient and leave? How on earth did I lose track of him? I didn't even hear anything...but where else could he be?

...

Unless...

The doorframe creaked under her tightening grip. She suddenly felt more wide awake than she had in weeks.

I hope this isn't what I think. And I don't know how it could be. But if he somehow got caught by an Empirical Officer...I need to tell Roxy to get the others...!

Lora slammed the doors shut. Then, as she turned, something flew at her screaming, "BOO!"

By reflex, she attacked. WHACK!

"Oooooow...!" Link stumbled back, holding his hands to the new knot on his head.

Lora lowered her hand. "...you're kidding," she said flatly. "You were here the entire time?"

"Yes..."

"Where, boy?"

"In an empty barrel."

I should hit you again, she thought fiercely. "How did you slip off without me noticing?"

"You fell asleep standing up."

"Link..."

"You did," he insisted, rubbing his head. "You did it again..."

"...that's right. I forgot about that time in the dungeon. I certainly didn't mean to do it again." Lora muttered. "...what are you smiling about?"

"Did I scare you?"

"You did startle me. And, while I'd take you being stir-crazy over any other alternative, don't disappear on me like that again, please."

"Okay," Link droned. "I won't."

"You had better not. Now, sit at the bar and stay put. I need to step out again. No, you can't come with me," she added, before he could even open his mouth to ask the question. "We're wrapping up here. I promise."

Link clambered up onto a barstool. "Where's Miss Roxanne?"

"That's her in the back. She'll be out any second. She just overdoes tidiness when expecting new company."

Lora vanished in a gust of icy wind before he could ask anything more. Link couldn't help acting on his sudden pique in curiosity. He hopped down and walked forward waving his arms about, just to make sure she hadn't pulled a trick and turned invisible. He had a feeling she was capable of something like that. He went to the main entrance and cracked a door, peering out.

"Um...is someone there?" a voice spoke up. "Rox...Roxy? Is that you?"

Link stuck his head out from around the door, going eye-to-eye with a delicate flower of a woman. She jolted back a step and almost dropped her bag.

"Who are" she gasped. "Who..."

"...the restaurant is closed. You'll have to come back later..." Link hastily ducked back in. He didn't have anything to do but spin on the barstool for a few minutes. When he got bored of that, he focused on the show stage and began to daydream.

He imagined his crewmates on stage, forming some sort of zesty pirate band. Because he was so short, Niko would be standing on a chair, playing a bass too big for him. Senza would have a flute, and Mako would be on some sort of drum set. For some reason, he could see Nudge gracefully playing a harp. Surly Zuko would have the liveliest instrument, bearing some sort of brass pipes. And Gonzo…

Link giggled to himself. Gonzo would definitely have one of those little metal triangles.

The kitchen doors flung open and smashed against the walls. Link couldn't believe his eyes. A monstrous octopus was slithering forth, gaping at him with large, half moon eyes.

"OOOOHHHH!" it screamed. "Oh! My! Goodness!"

Link's face fell.

"Lora told me she was bringing someone special over!" the Octorok squealed. "I thought it was new member of our club, but that can't be right! You're far too little! So...how do you like how I've got the place set up? Is everything nice? Are you feeling comfortable?"

He nodded, grinning widely. If he wanted to run he couldn't since she held his chair in place with a tentacle.

"Oh that girl, I swear," the giant octopus huffed. "Lora must've not told you what I look like. She likes to play around like that. I'm Roxanne, dear, but I'd rather you call me Roxy. I don't care much about formalities."

She was absolutely massive and took up the entire space behind the counter. The tip of her mantle bent lightly against the ceiling, which was at least a good twenty feet up. She had fourteen tentacles, and over half of them were already reaching for or grasping something like they had minds of their own.

"Uh oh! I'm sorry." Roxy said. She yanked the tentacle on his chair back, causing Link to quickly spin in place for a few nauseating seconds. "That one got away from me. I think lost my sense when I saw how cute you were."

Link stopped spinning, grabbing ahold of the counter so he wouldn't topple sideways. "But...I'm not..."

"Ah, don't finish that. Yes you are, and that's that," Roxy said bluntly. "Now bear with me here, because I know I had to close up shop for a good reason. Lora told me you're new...and that what, you don't remember much?"

"That's right. Um...she said I was in a new realm?"

Roxy's large eyes quivered slightly. She glanced over his shoulder.

"Ah, that's what it is," she said quietly, slithering a tentacle along the ground. It had to have gone at least thirty feet before it reached the front doors, delicately locking them once more. "Let me just lock that...alright. I got you. That's far past being a good reason for me. Where's she gone?"

"I don't know." Link answered, getting comfortable in his seat again. "It looked like she was in a rush, though..."

"What! She knows I can't keep up with her when she's like this," Roxy said. "Tell you what, though, if it wasn't important then she wouldn't have left in wink. That girl is just not good at pre-emptively explaining her actions by word-of-mouth..."

Speaking of mouth, Link was distracted by the way Roxy's tube-shaped one contorted just like a human's. It looked funny to him and he bit his bottom lip, holding back a snort. Then he looked at the stage, imagined Gonzo holding a triangle, and let out a giggle anyway.

Roxy didn't notice. She swiped rags from the rack, using another tentacle to spread a solution along the counter. She began to clean it in four different places. "Can I get you anything?" she asked sweetly. She accidentally nudged a barrel full of something. It would have spilled all over if she hadn't quickly pulled it back into place, causing its contents to slosh about roughly. "Oh, I'll be darned—okay, focus, Roxy…"

She held a glass underneath the barrel's tap. Link watched the red broth fill the glass, catching a particularly fruity scent.

I've smelled that before, he realized. It had to have been recently.

"See if you like this, dear." Roxy slid the glass down the counter and he caught it, turning it up almost immediately. The new taste exploded in his mouth and left a rich froth and tang on his tongue. He drank it all in a few seconds.

"Want more?" asked Roxy.

"Yes, please!"

"Then just tell me when to stop refilling that glass, alright?"

Link had finished his fourth refill before he decided to slow down. Now he was a little too full between the pancakes and the juice. He still couldn't help but to have half a glass more.

"What kind is this?" he asked.

"Cherry…you see any tree around here, and it'll likely be a cherry tree," Roxy said, polishing the overhead cabinets. "But that juice is from a friend of mine who owns the orchards right out of town…"

She suddenly squinted at the counter, scrubbing a place Link thought was spotless.

"…oh, that'll do I guess," she said. "So now little man, let me lay it out for you straight. You are here. Period. We're in the capital of the Hearthian Kingdom, Hearthstone. It's apart of a greater realm, or empire. Do you follow?"

Link nodded, lifting his glass to drink from it. Roxy hefted a short sigh.

"Well," she said. "I'm sure Lora's told you the basics since that's all she had time for. I could barely keep up with her when she barged in earlier. Goodness! I didn't even have to look her in the eyes to see she was on a mission."

"Is...that really the only way to see how she's feeling?" Link asked curiously, remebering what Kita had said.

Roxy winked one of her moon-shaped eyes. "Yes," she said kindly. "It'll be your best and hopefully only bet."

Link didn't like the way that sounded. He hastily went to finish his drink.

"And, well...I hate to say it, but you're no longer in the world you were born in."

He almost choked, spraying juice all over the counter. "Wh…What…?!" he cried. "What do you mean…?!"

"Shh-shh! Quiet. Now look around, what do you see?"

He quickly scanned the empty restaurant then looked back at her, wondering what she was going on about.

"No one here, right?" Roxy pressed, removing another clean towel from the rack. "It'd be lethal for anyone else to hear this conversation, that's why. Lesson one...be careful in what you say, where you say it, and more importantly who you say it around. If you aren't careful, the Emperor will be giving you a halo before the next sunrise."

"What's an...Emperor?" Link recalled Lora had used the term, but he wasn't sure if he'd heard it before even then.

"He's the undisputed ruler over all of us. Everyone. All the kings and queens, the commoners, and beasts like myself. He's the one who pulls strings and puts people in positions to carry out his will...he can do and proclaim whatever he wants, because he's the king of kings."

"He doesn't sound nice..."

Roxy shook her large head with a sigh. "Child, you don't even know...it's honestly a mercy to go to bed at the end of the day and wake up for the next. That's for normal people. Now, you..." she tapped him on the head. "By proxy, you're not normal. By birth, I'm not normal. And Lora...tends to be drawn to folks like us. So in a way, her willing associations are also not normal.

"Now, can you imagine what the Emperor likes to do to folk like us? Nope, don't answer! You don't want to imagine. Anything you could think of would fall short of the Emperor's degeneracy. He is a man who fears the mystery of things he doesn't understand, and he refuses to understand the idea that there are worlds that exist other than his own. He thinks that his perfect empire is all there is, and all there ever will be. In a sad way, he's right."

"But how?"

"I'll let Lora take that question... I just don't have the hearts to." Roxy said, tossing a towel in the trash by accident. She fished it out, adding, "The Emperor is wrong, of course, because you're here. And many others have been in that same seat you're in now. Noh is as ignorant as he is paranoid...and that's exactly why he persecutes those who fall outside of his norms."

"Earlier, you said my...the world I was born in."

"Yes! It means wherever you came from. I certainly don't know where that is." Roxy's eyes glimmered heartily. "I can bet it's much better than this place. You're what we call an Outsider. Simple. Simple, but means a certain lifetime of agony and torment. Oh, only if the Emperor finds out, sweetie," she added, seeing his budding look of horror. "Which he won't, not with Lora guarding you. You're the safest you could ever be here. But you need to listen to her, little man, always. No matter what."

"Does she help every Outsider?"

The Octorok cringed. She began to reorganize her shelves and glassware with perspiration suddenly forming on her mantle.

"No." Roxy said simply. "It doesn't always happen like that. And she's never showed this much energy before, though I think that may be because you're so young. That's my guess. But…ha! I don't know."

Link gripped the edges of his seat tightly. It was almost spontaneous with how the sudden thoughts and facts hit him, hard, one after the other.

He was partially amnesiac. He was alone. He had no idea where his friends were. All he knew is that so far he'd been doing what he'd been told...and for what?

...was I wrong to trust Lora? Link found himself thinking suddenly. But what...else could I have done?

And why is Roxy so nervous? Does she know something about Lora she doesn't want to say?

Now hesitant, Link glanced over his shoulder, though the sound of rustling made him look back. He blanched; half Roxy's tentacles were rearing like snakes, poised to strike.

"You'd better be smart about the choices you make," the Octorok said lowly. "Because no matter how fast you think you are, I'll catch and whip you back faster than you can blink…"

With great difficulty Link sat back. Roxy lowered her tentacles but didn't take her eyes off him.

"Don't you start a fuss for no reason," she scolded. "Ain't nothing good will come from you running off. I told you, Lora's to help. She hasn't given you a reason to doubt her, has she?"

"...I don't think so," Link muttered. The guilt he felt rooted him to his seat.

"Then that's that. Don't overthink and cause your own problems to get worse. That's the sort of thing that could attract an Empirical Officer. Last thing you would want, you'd be taken to the Emperor's domain and thrown into his personal prison, and..."

She shuddered.

"What…happens there?" Link asked cautiously.

"Boy, don't ask me! And don't ask Lora, either. She doesn't like to talk about it." Roxy darted her eyes to every single window in her restaurant before speaking again. "And for god's sake, this seems obvious, but I need to put myself at ease and tell you myself. Never…EVER…let ANYONE know you're an Outsider. Not unless Lora alone tells you it's alright. It hardly matters you're a child...it doesn't matter at all! Don't make a mistake and get outed, sweetheart. People here may walk around with tight lips, but they'll get loose quick if they discover an Outsider in the midst. It deflects attention from them for a while.

"The thing is, it's hardly anything personal," Roxy said in agitation. "Too many here are trying to buy more time for themselves and their families. It's really all about who's the best at hiding what. It's sad. But if the Emperor has you in his sights, it's just about over."

Link sank further in disbelief, faltering with every sentence out of her mouth. And with each passing second, he tried harder than ever to remember how on earth he ended up in a place like this…

And yet, still, he had a sense that Roxy hadn't gotten to the worst of the new discoveries. She was currently polishing no less than six glasses at once and kept glancing towards the door. Link sat, staring at his glass that she had refilled without his notice, then slowly pulled it to himself. The smooth tartness helped settle his nerves.

"That girl…" Roxy chuckled. "She got distracted again, I bet."

"Are you her friend?"

"Oh, only just her best one. Odd friendship, I know. I get a little tickled from time to time when people say they don't believe it." She gave him a sorry look. "You had a best friend too?"

"Yes," Link muttered. He sat back, crossing his arms with a sigh. I just hope she's alright, wherever she is…

"Shoot! I don't even have your name," Roxy said with a laugh. "What's it?"

He didn't answer for a moment, working his mouth a bit. Just like the pancakes from earlier, the cherry juice had left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. "I'm Link."

"...agh!" Roxy hissed. Her tentacles had fumbled on a glass and it fell, shattering on the floor. For a moment she just glared down at the mess.

"All these limbs and suckers, and I still drop things," Roxy said in annoyance, reaching for a broom and dust pan. "It's what happens when you don't have fingers, I guess."

Link eagerly stood up in his seat. "Do you need some help?"

"No, now, no," Roxy said kindly, already dumping the glass shards into a waste barrel. "I already decided. There'll be no working when you're under my roof. This is a place for you to unwind and be protected. I'm always here. So it doesn't matter what time of day or night you need to come in. If you can ever manage to stay up late."

"I can! Sometimes I get distracted and stay up the entire night."

"Uh huh, we'll see," Roxy said mischievously. "How about this, then? Whatever you order is on the house. No money out of your pockets. You'll never have to know what it's like to be hungry ag"

She squealed, laughing when Link bolted onto the counter. "Really?" he cried, clutching at her mantle.

"Ohh! I've won, now look at that smile! You like to eat a lot, don't you?"

"Yes ma'am," Link said, hopping back into his seat. "My grandmother always told me she wanted me to grow up big and strong...I'm not sure if you can…"

"If I can what, keep up with you?" she asked, and he nodded bashfully. "Oh, you just don't know me yet. It'd barely make a difference if you had two mouths and ten stomachs. Your grandma's right, though let me warn you. Nothing wrong with wanting to be big and strong. Just don't be like me, dropping things and breaking your doors down on accident because you learned too late what it means to be gentle."

Link made a point of looking to where her head touched the ceiling. "...I don't think I'll get that big," he said with a straight face.

"Child, of course not!" she exclaimed, making him laugh. "Oh, so you...!"

Thmp-thmp!

Link whipped his head to the side and Roxy shifted to look at the easternmost door. That slight noise was followed soon by more disturbances, like something was bumping into things and knocking them over. Roxy swelled, twitching her mouth.

"Hold up. No one's supposed to be back there," she said, reaching a tentacle towards the door. She held another one in front of Link, who held his breath as she turned the knob…

Lora stepped into the restaurant, brushing dust off her robes.

"Giiirl, don't you go popping in like that!" Roxy laughed. "Oh my word, for a moment I thought all the rats back there were about to start a rebellion! I was getting ready to dust 'em all."

"I'd help," Link said with sudden fierceness. He didn't like rats at all.

"Ha! I'll believe it! It wouldn't even be an issue if Pisces would just clean up back there, I swear I'll strangle him if I see rats in my restaurant—don't tell me you need that room soon, Annie?"

"I do. I didn't see any rats back there," Lora said. "Then again, I could barely see my own hand since the only window is blocked by a mountain of garbage. I see that it's all fixed."

She moved blindingly, hurtling something from within her robes. A streak of gold screamed through the air towards Roxy. The giant octopus shifted casually and the dagger thunked into the wood, missing her mantle by inches.

"...you're serious?" Roxy asked in disapproval, pulling the dagger from the wall. "Was that something you needed to be done before today?"

"No, so, I'm sure Pisces will appreciate it once he gets back from the shipyard."

"Surprise for him, then. I'll let him hear it twice as much now." Roxy tossed the dagger back to Lora. "Well, I was just telling...Link here, a few more things about the realm. I didn't get to every point. Or THAT one...thought you might need to be the one to, uh, you know..."

Roxy peered at Lora, inhaling steadily. Link didn't blame her. He wondered if having sharp objects thrown at her without warning was something she had to go through every day.

"Good, then," Lora said. "Thank you for getting him started on that. Keep an eye out for us, Roxy. We'll be back soon."

She took him by the shoulder, this time using her gloved hand. Link gingerly held still. The glove was all black and its fingertips ended in very sharp claws of metal, so he didn't want to move in the slightest and end up with his shoulder cut open.

Roxy fired a rock the size of Link's whole body in their direction. Lora whisked them away and it demolished the door to the outside.

Link's startled yelp came out the instant they reached their destination. The sun was blinding and the wind nearly knocked him down. Hearthstone Pavilion was below and bustling as usual. Link figured he'd been taken to the very top of the clock tower, but had a very hard time understanding why.

"Pardon," Lora said. "I fumbled that one."

Link didn't see her. He ran back and forth on the spire, looking in every direction but the right one. "Where are you?" he cried.

"Behind you, child."

"Oh!" He turned, finding her standing there with her robes flowing in the wind. "...was that normal?"

"Are you talking about us firing shots at each other? Yes. It helps keep reflexes sharp. She still took me off guard though, so that's why we're up here. It's nice and quiet, isn't it?"

The wind continued to blow, maybe a little awkwardly as seconds ticked by in silence.

"...anyway," Lora said, reaching for him again. They appeared in a wooden hut, one that seemed modestly furnished at first glance. There wasn't a loft but Link was still instinctively reminded of home back on his island. Before he could take a look around, Lora motioned towards an open doorway leading into the sitting room and began to speak.

"Well, I found—"

She was cut off by another voice: "Back off, punk!"

Link gasped. "Tetra!"

"Right," Lora said. "And at least my house is still standing…"


* Kita's Foxtrot is sung to the tune of The 1st Day in Clock Town