HellHounds Are Not Emo II

01

ISDH

HANE

A large black dog phased in on the porch of the old worn shack. Three beasts of equal size lay in a pile, each had their head on their brother's rear hanch. They were sleeping peacefully. One would inhale, as the second would begin to exhale, and the third would finish exhaling, only to inhale. This pattern continued as they circle snored.

Harry Doggy-grinned as he considered his options. While his magic wanted to jump into the middle of the pile and rough house, Hellhound wanted to scare them. Harry sided with the Hellhound, as Dogo abstained. Slobberjowel creeped up to the pile until he stood over them, and then he took on his Cyberus size form, and embraced 'Hell'.

The three shifted at his feet, but quickly snuggled down.

Slobberjowel started barking and growling to wake the dead.

The three Elders were on their feet and pinned to the far before Harry could finish barking. They were climbing over one another to get away from him, their tails tucked in tight, and all three had pissed the floor…

Harry fell on his side laughing, as the 'Hellhound' fell away leaving a young wizard laying on the floor, laughing so hard, he hic-upped when he inhaled. The three brothers quickly got themselves under control.

"Pup? Was there a reason for the rude wake up call?" Uncle Antioch posed most regally, completely ignoring the fact had lost complete control over his bladder not five minutes ago.

"Pup." Uncle Cadmus was even stuffier, as moved to loom over the laughing wizard"That was in bad taste. For a Hellhound, for Lord of the Realm, For A Peverell!"

Igneous just started to doggy-laugh. "That was gold. You should have seen your faces." he covered his head with his paws, as he shook. "That Prank was near perfect!"

Harry sat up, his laughter fading. "Near Perfect?"

"Yes." the third hound now stood, and strolled over to stand beside his brothers. "You have declared War, Boy, I mean War! And as Mistress is my Witness we shall have our Vengeance!" he shook himself out, "So, what brings you by?"

"Now in England. I am heading to my Uncle's place. That is if they let me in the door." Harry growled the last.

"You need a place to stay?" Antioch worked his head into Harry's palm.

"No. I have Hermione and the Weasley's if I need someplace to go." Harry started scratching ears, "Good Night everyone." He pulled the shadows about him like a cloak until he was no longer there…

HANE

In the dimly lit tunnel of the underpass, Harry stepped out of the shadows. Looking both ways, he turned and started jogging toward #4 privet dr. When reached the drive, he slowed to a walk, and turned up towards the house. He could feel the Blood Wards scrap over his skin, and try to latch on. His Magic lunged out, and reflected the clawing attempt.

For a minute, it felt as if someone had grabbed the back of his head, and pulled it through a teacup into a rainbow…

'Huh? What was that?'

Oh. Sorry boss. His Magic whimpered. I redirected the Ward Draw to the SubRealm Death assigned to you.

Harry shrugged, and opened the Door. "Hey Everybody! I am Back!"

Out of the Kitchen, explodes Ripper, charging his favorite chew toy. Harry blinks at the brute, and drops into the Dogo.

BARK

Ripper passed his own tail as he about-faced and ran to 'Mama'.

Vernon stepped into the Hall just in time to see Harry return to human. He purpled, as his pudgy finger came up.

"Oh Uncle Vernon!" Harry spoke Loudly. "That Military School up in Scotland agreed to not only take me early, but year round. If I can get that trunk you are holding for me, I will be out of your Hair. I have to catch the Midnight train."

The Purple rushed out of the man's face as he lumbered closer to the Lad. "What about you needing to stay here?" He whispered.

"As I understand it, I had to live in a happy home that wanted me." Harry hissed back. "But as I entered, Something I learned in LA, engaged the Wards, and redirected them. They should recharge on their own while still protecting this House, and if I am not here, my personal freakiness won't rub off on you. Win-win."

Vernon frowned, before throwing open the cupboard door. "You Need Bus Fare?" He asked loudly while giving Harry the stink eye as he slid it into the rucksack, but not before sliding his wand up his sleeve.

Harry smiled. "Naw, Just going to 'Barrow' the new Jag' on the Block." He readjusted his pack. "Heard the guy was a real hard ass. Tootles. Give Aunt 'Tuni my Love!" he let the door slam behind him as he Shadowed out.

Vernon nodded twice as he stared at the door, before he realized that he was the only one who drove a Jag on the block! "You Freaking Runt!" he ripped the door open to reveal …

Nothing but an empty street.

HANE

Albus was frowning.

For the last three weeks, the Ward Monitors on the Dursley House were showing the wards failing. In a Kneazle sneezed in the right place, there would be Cascade Failure, and any protection on the Bot would be Gone.

Wherever he was, Potter was in good health, near perfect health, as indicated by the gold 'smoke'. Miss Figg had reported that morning that the Dursleys had returned, but without the boy. Now as the wards were still in play, the boy was still alive, and calling that place 'home'.

Suddenly the grey-sooty trickle of 'smoke' pouring from the third spout of the platinum teapot, changed into a torrent of Black Jet for a three count before fading into a deluge bone white. The Volume meant that the wards were strong… the colour ment… Normally it was Red, as the Wards drew on the Bloodline. But this was Black then White… that spoke of the 'Health' of the Wards. He ran his fingers through the 'smoke'. It was 'cold', but not freezing cold. Fawks cried as he went to 'feel' it again.

The three spouts, monitoring the Boy's Health(thick and and gold smoke), the Boy's Magic(Bound, as reported by the silver puffs.) and the condition of the Wards…

And then the Boy had vanished from the 'tracker'... again.

"Shite!"

HANE

Hermione had scribbled out a quick note for Hedwig to deliver to Harry, but the Owl just looked at the folded piece of paper in her hand, at the witch in the eye, barked, and then launched herself out the bedroom door into the house. Hermione followed her, her furry Overlord sauntering after. Hermione found the owl perched on the back of a wing-back chair, watching the street out the window.

A Black English Oak grew at the corner of the lot. Hermione knew it well, as she spent many an afternoon with a book leaning against the trunk of said tree. Something drew her eyes, just as Harry stepped out of the tree. He looked both ways, before stepping on to the sidewalk, and strolled to the walkway that led to the front door. Hermione and Hedwig watched the boy approach the door, his eyes and moving about, looking every which way.

When he was halfwalf to the door, Hermione broke and ran for the door. In a rush, she grabbed the knob, twisted, and ripped the portal open…

Only to not find the young boy she was looking for…

Sitting before the door was a large bone white beast of a Dog.

Herminoe screamed.

The Dog lunged...knocking the smaller, lighter female to the floor…

And processed to cover her face in Doggy slobber.

Hermione started to laugh just as her Father exited his 'Man Cave' to see a Dogo 'assaulting' his baby girl. "Ah, Princess? Why is that dog slobbering all over." the Dog looked up at him, his green eyes sparkling, before bounding away from the downed witch, to sniff the man. Dan held still as the waist high brute all but buried his muzzle into his groin.

Bark

All Attention turned to the owl, perch on the wingback chair. The dog extracted itself from the human and with its tail between its legs, head down, it scuttled to cower before the owl.

"Uh, Princess, what was that?" Dan asked.

"That, dad, was a wizard proving that he is so whipped," Hermione climbed to her feet and closed the door. "Only Harry is that cowed by that owl. He is that Owl's bitch." Hedwig fluffed her feathers and preened,

"That dog is…" Dan started to ask, before the animal blurred and Harry stepped close to scratch and coo over the owl.

"The shifting to a dog is new." Hermione leaned on the doorframe, staring at her friend. She promised herself she would find out how.

Dan grunted, before returning to his 'cave' to clean his shotgun. For some reason just the act of cleaning it calmed him.

"So where have you been this month?" the witch took the wingback opposing the one the owl was perched on. Crookshanks was quick to claim his position of privilege as her lap cozy.

Harry sat slowly into the chair, his owl hovering overhead. "Veron got a chance to boost company profits to the Yanks, and because the CFO was buying the tickets, had to take me with them. I barely had time to scratch out a note to send Hedwig to Ron, as you were going to France this summer, straight from the train, if I remember correctly. Once we checked in, I was told that he did not want to see me, hear me, or even encounter me until the last two days of our trip." Harry snorted, "Of course, I was not given any money for food, or food itself. But I ended up bumping into a magical teen, just a year older than me and she showed me LA's magical district. Smith's Mall. Think Harrods on Expansion Charms. They had like over one hundred levels. I spent three weeks running about with two girls and a guy my age, and I doubt I have seen even half of it."

"And the Dog?"

"I don't know how much I can tell you." Harry looked at the witchling. "I was told that magic surrounding this… ability, and this past month, would take steps to protect itself. I will tell you what I can, but can not tell anyone else." He shrugged off the rucksack, placing it between his feet. "About half way into my second week there, the guy was running with, Chase, was going to this special 'wizards camp', and they arranged for me to join him. I do not know the whole detail, but they took like a hundred of us into a field filled with ruinic circles, about three to four feet across. When they began the ceremony, the kids in the circles were enbubbled, and were to disrobe. Not wanting to rip our threads on the first shift.

After I disrobed, I knelt in the center of my bubble. After a few minutes, a white fog filled my bubble. As the fog swirled about me, I was overcome, and all went black. When I came to, I was 'Dog'." Harry grinned at her. "And do you want to hear the really funny part?" Hermione nodded, as she stroked her kitty. "I am a Dogo Argentino." He let that sink in. "Three Years ago, Parliament passed a law, outlawing a list of breeds. The Dogo was one of those breeds."

"Only you, Harry." She frowned, as if Remembering something, "So are you going to register?"

"Already did.'' Harry leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he clasped his hands together. "With the Dog Act of '91, I wanted that extra layer of protection. Protect that only red tape could provide for me."

"Is it something you can teach?" she sounded eager, but she did not 'smell' eager.

Harry frowned. Before shaking his head, and opening his pack, reaching both arms up to the shoulder into the polished leather bag. "Oscar. I need Oscar." the wooden frame nudged his hand and he grabbed it. He Pulled the frame out of the sack.

Hermione gasped at the art work… 'it looks so alive…"

"When I first saw him, I thought he was a free standing stuffed Ocelot… but no, just a well done oil on velvet." he passed the frame to her. "I was told his name was Oscar, and something just screamed that he belonged on your wall. That and I could not find a book that would do my trip any justice. In the muggle shops, I found gifts for everybody, but you. Just before giving up, I found a small shop in the corner. As I stepped in there he was. The shop owner gave me the painting and this sweet pack, in exchange for a bit of heavy lifting." Harry reached to scratch Hedwig's chest feathers. "I have gifts for the Weasleys. I can either deliver them myself, or send them by owl."

Bark!

"I thought you would say that." he smiled up at the owl. Turning back to Hermione, "Do you have some paper bags that I can use for wrapping? And a plastic bag for milady to carry." Hermione lifted Crook off her lap, to retrieve the asked for items, including a thing of tape, and marker pen. Dropping the pile before Harry, she watched as he 'dumped' a pile of 'gifts' on the coffee table. Slowly as to not rip the bag, he eased the seam appart before setting a gift in the center, and wrapping the paper page about each item.

For Mr. Weasley, a children's book on airplanes.

For Mrs. Wesley, a Muggle Cookbook; Tastes of the World.

Ron and Ginny were given a box of muggle chocolates. While the same, Harry wrapped them separately.

For the twins he set the bag on the table. "Okay." Harry licked his lips, "Muggle magic tricks, and pranking supplies." He looked at Hermione, "If I send it with everything else, they will open it with everyone else… and Molly will take them."

" You said you could go yourself, correct? So why not deliver theirs later, when Molly is not watching."

"And you are okay with this?"

"As long as they prank responsibly." Herminoe grunted as Crook reclaim his perch.

He slid the marked gifts into the plastic bag, shrinking them as they entered, set to reverse when they were reversed. Taking one last paper bag, he wrote; Messer Slobberjowel, son of Messer Prongs, promises Messers Twin Weasley, a gift of parlor value, and an introduction. And signed it with a poor drawing of a paw print. This he folded up, and into a card sized shape, and slid it into the bag. Taking said bag and the owl to the door, he handed the bag to her. "I will give you an hour head start. Wizard travel is so unfair to those who have to work for it. Winner gets the loser bacon at breakfast!"

the Owl tore away, almost taking his arm with her.

Hermione was laughing from her seat in the den. She had heard every word.

HANE

Hedwig flew with everything she had.

Her [Crispy Pig] was on the line!

It was beside the point the [Reckless Chick], who had abandoned her for that last Moon, was back, or that his [Crispy Pig] was at risk… No, no, no, it all had to do with HER [Crispy Pig]!

A quick and hard flight to the Big Black track(freeway) the Big Boxes(lorries) traveled on. She could ride the wind wave from them, to get to where she needed to go. In Fifteen minutes, she was halfway there… she broke out of the wind current tunnel she was in, at the cut-off, and a minor wave off a carriage, as it arrived in the village that was hopping distance to the Burrow, She flapped her wings for the first time in thirty minutes, building up speed for the the last leg of the trip.

She saw that the Kitchen window was open, so she tucked her wings, and dive bombed the opening ahead. The wind whistling through her feathered tufts, across her body… now she understood why [Reckless Chick] did this. She hit something as it left the window, careened through the opening and ended up smacking ass first into a human's face. He went over backwards, as she landed on his face.

She picked herself up, shook herself out, and looked down.

Ronald B. Weasley.

She just 'teabagged' Ron weasley. At least that is what she thought Dean said that act was. She turned and flap-hopped to the table.

Bark!

Molly peered in, "Ronny, are you okay?" Then she spotted Hedwig, and she frowned. "So you're back are you?"

Hedwig shook the bag at her.

Ginny who had heard the 'Bark' entered to see the Owl holding the bag. "Oh, You have a delivery. Is Harry back?" the white head bobbed, before shaking the bag again. "The Bag is from Harry?" another bob, just as Ginny took the bag. As the owl perched on the back of a chair, and napped. Ginny drew out four wrapped items and a card. She passed the two packages with 'Ron' and 'Mrs. Weasley' to them, collected her gift, and the card for the twins. Her Dad's she left at his dinner placement.

She went up to the twin's door, and knocked.

The door opened and two heads peered around the edge. "Yes?" they choursed.

"Harry's back, he sent gifts, but you just got this." she handed it over. "It is not like to stiff friends like that?"

Fred too the 'card' and stepped back to open it.

"Messer Slobberjowel, son of Messer Prongs, promises Messers Twin Weasley, a gift of parlor value, and an introduction. And it is signed with a poor drawing of a paw print" The Twins exchanged looks, before looking at their sister.

"Had Harry sent his gift directly, we would have had to open it in front of Mum." George explained

"And Odds are, She would confiscate it in the name of good taste and the 'Greater Good'." Fred smiled at his sister.

They then choursed, "But we swear on said Gift to not target you with said Gift." The Door then was closed in her face, and Bolted.

"That was… Almost normal." She shook her head, and headed down to her room, to flop on her built in bed, to carefully open the gift. Inside was a box of Muggle chocolates. While not the chocolate glutton that Ron was, she knew of the love/hate relationship most women had with chocolate, and that time of the month was close at hand. She opened the box, and snagged one, closing the box and stashing it under her pillow. She popped the bon-bon in her mouth…

A cherry cordial. A muggle born in the dorms shared a box of them last christmas. One taste, and they were a favorite.

Then there was a Banging at the front door.

tbc