Kaufetag 2, Fifth Lunar Disappearance, 50 CE | Bonesborough, B.I.

"Give me back my bag you —" Luz cut herself off when she opened her eyes after being flashbanged by the door closing. The old, dilapidated house with its torn up floorboards and tattered wallpaper had been replaced with a hodgepodge of seemingly random items stuffed into a giant tent of some kind.

She looked around. At her feet, a creature with the head of a baby doll and the body of a lizard had been impaled on a clothes hanger. Above her, a shovel hung from the rafters, while a cracked portable TV from the 90s (Probably? Luz wasn't sure.) was turned on its side. On top of a refrigerator, a globe was balanced precariously, teetering on the edge. Alongside all the other miscellaneous items, there was also a vast assortment of clothes, ranging in style from those weird Tuxedo shirts Luz had seen people wear to prom all the way to what appeared to be a hand-knit sweater that looked like it had been stolen out of a nursing home.

"What the fizzlesitcks?" This place was weird.

Then, Luz took a sniff. The air smelled... odd. Like someone had managed to combine the scent of ozone and maduros into one smell. It was both sweet and off-putting at the same time. Luz didn't even know a smell like that was possible. The worst part was that that was the only thing Luz could smell, as if every other scent had been overpowered by the madurozone smell.

She also felt hungry for some reason. But that was silly, because she had just had that oatmeal about an hour ago. She pushed that thought aside. She had to focus on getting her backpack back from the Owl Thief.

"Finally, you're back." Luz did her best not scream at the sudden noise and quickly hid behind a nearby overturned couch. She cautiously peeked her head over the couch to see who the new voice belonged to.

The first thing Luz noticed was the giant shock of gray hair the person had, falling all the way down their back. The person was wearing a bright red dress and had a green-and-white dotted bandana covering their ears. Their skin was an incredibly pale shade of white, and they wer L, towering over Luz, even while they were bending over.

Alongside Mystery Person was Owl Thief, backpack in talon. The owl dropped Luz's bag on a table and then rested on Mystery Person's staff before MP started screwing the owl into the staff and the owl turned to wood.

Luz's jaw dropped to the floor so fast it nearly broke the laws of gravity.

"Now let's see what you've brought back," MP said, as if they didn't just do something Luz thought impossible. MP opened Luz's backpack and began rummaging around in it, pulling out items and seeming to appraise them, before eventually putting them all back in and zipping the bag shut.

"Really, Owlbert? I can't even sell any of this. As far as I'm concerned, this is all just garbage or kindling," MP said to the owl... staff... thingy. Luz wasn't sure what to call it.

The Good Witch Azura is NOT kindling! Luz thought. She couldn't stand it anymore. Luz ran out from her hiding spot behind the couch, quickly grabbed her backpack with a "That's mine, thank you very much.", and made a mad dash for the still open glowing white portal.

Only for it to close and fold up into a briefcase before disappearing.

"You're not getting away that easy." Luz turned around to see MP holding up a key. The key was wooden and had a button with an eye-shaped symbol on it. If Luz wasn't currently panicking for her life, she probably would have remarked on the ornate designs and delicate craftsmanship of the key. But now was not the time for that.

Luz screamed before turning back around and escaping out the back of the tent by lifting up the canvas and scrambling under it and through to the outside world, finding herself on a cliff face overlooking a town.

And what a town it was. Giant hands were erupting from the ground, houses covering them like a bastardized skyscraper. Even larger bones, looking to be a rib cage of some kind, pierced the heavens like a protective border around the town. And the teeth. There were. So. Many. TEETH.

There was no way Luz was still on Earth.

A fairy approached her. She screamed, before lowering her defenses at the tiny creature.

"Oh. Hi there, little fairy. Are you here to tell me that this is all a magical dream and that I'm going to wake up in a few minutes?"

"GIVE ME YOUR SKIN!"

Luz screamed, louder this time, and slapped the fairy out of the sky. Catching a brief glance at her hands, her vitiligo markings were definitely larger then normal, and no amount of blinking made them shrink back to their normal size.

"What is this place? Is this the underworld?" Luz questioned to herself.

"You wish." MP said, clapping a hand on Luz's shoulder, before effortlessly scooping Luz up and carrying her over their shoulder. They then carried Luz back through the tent and sat her down on a stool in front of their stand of "Human Collectibles".

"I'm so sorry! I just wanted my bag back!" Luz slammed her eyes shut, dreading what would happen next, "If you're going to eat my skin, just do it now!"

MP chuckled. "Eat you? Why would I eat a potential customer?"

Luz slowly opened her eyes. What?, she thought.

MP then began bombarding her with item after item, all from Earth, and all had their purpose horribly misconstrued. A floor lamp was a "close combat practice dummy", a glowing blue box was a "paperweight that can hold anything down", and a miniature radio missing its batteries was a "snail display device".

Luz giggled at the last one.

"It can do more than just that. Watch this." She grabbed some batteries from a bowl labeled Human Candy! (?) and quickly popped them in to the radio. Turning it on and tuning in to one of her favorite stations, Luz let the radio work its magic.

It worked immediately, drawing a large crowd to the stand, all of whom were vying for possession of the wonderous music making machine. An impromptu bidding war began amongst the shoppers, with one even inquiring if they would be able to "eat the tiny person trapped in the box."

MP smiled at the sudden influx of popularity in their stand. "What did you say your name was?"

"Oh. I'm Luz. Luz Noceda."

MP began grabbing all the money they could from anyone in arm's reach. "Well, Luz. I have to say that that was very clever, especially for a human."

Luz raised a eyebrow at that statement. "That's pretty weird for a human to say."

MP smirked. "Oh, dear child, I am not like you." They ripped off their bandana to reveal long, pointed ears. Luz's mind instantly went to the Elven race from Creatures & Caverns.

MP then climbed on top of the table and continued their introduction. "I'm Eda the Owl Lady." Huh, that's a unique moniker. "I am the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles." Okay, not an elf, but a witch.

"Woah." That was all Luz could get out before Eda continued her spiel.

"I am respected across the lands, feared for my prowess in wild magic, and I am —"

"BUSTED!" A gloved fist smashed the radio mid-song, causing the crowd to scamper, with cries of "Run, it's a guard!" echoing across the marketplace.

"Eda the Owl Lady, you are wanted for usage of wild magic and refusal to join a coven." The guard held up Eda's wanted poster.

The poster proclaimed that "Eda the Owl Lady" was to be captured, and whoever brought her in would receive a reward of 1 trillion snails. Alongside Eda and Owlbert, a third figure was also shown. The creature looked like a dog with a skull on its head. Maybe that's another one of her pets? Luz questioned.

"You are hereby ordered to come with me to the Conformatorium." The guard grabbed Eda's arm, but she yanked it away.

"Would you chumps quit stalking me? I haven't done anything," Eda retorted, crossing her arms in defiance.

"You're coming too, for associating with a known criminal." The guard said, yanking Luz into the air by her hood.

"What! I didn't know!" Luz yelped.

"Alright, alright. You win. Just put the kid down, and let me pack up my stuff." Eda said, before grabbing Owlbert and whacking the guard in the temple. The guard collapsed to the ground with a grunt. Eda then tapped her staff against the table, and the entire stand wrapped itself up in to a neat little knapsack. She then pulled out the key from before and pressed its button, resulting in the briefcase disappearing into the ether.

Sticking the key into her hair, Eda grabbed Luz's arm and dragged the girl behind her, running from the downed guard.

"Come on, human. Let's ditch these fools."

"This is insane! If I die here, my mom will become a mess."

"Don't worry, human. You're much more valuable to me alive than dead."

"Wait, what's that supposed to —" Luz was cut off by Eda jumping up and pulling her onto Owlbert, the group taking flight.

Luz looked down at where she just was to see the guard chase after them, only to stop when they realized their target had escaped. They looked like they said something before hanging their head in shame and walking away defeated.

Luz then realized that she was flying. On a magic stick. With no safety measures. She rightfully let out a small scream and clamped on to the wood with a death grip that made her knuckles white.

Suddenly, a giant twelve-winged bird with a razor sharp beak flew by, the wingtips brushing against Luz's back. Eda picked Luz up and righted her on the staff.

"¡Dios mío! What is this place?" This definitely was not Earth, Luz concluded.

"Welcome to the Boiling Isles, where anything and everything can and will try to kill you," Eda explained.

"What other monsters are there?"

"Well, you've already met the annoying buggers that are fairies, but there are also griffins, vampires, giraffes..." Eda listed off.

"Hold on, giraffes?" Luz looked dumbfounded.

"Yeah. Bunch of witch-eating freaks. Don't worry, though. We banished 'em to the Human Realm." Eda shuddered slightly. One of her old classmates, Perry, had lost his wife to a wild giraffe attack.

Eda landed the staff, and Luz quickly hopped off, happy to be back on solid ground. Eda dismounted as well, but her hand was left behind. Luz saw the detached hand wiggle, independent of its owner, and she screamed.

"Oops. Sorry about that kid. Forgot to tell you that that happens sometimes." Eda said nonchalantly.

"Well, I've had enough of this isekai, and this realm is not the ages 6-11 TV show I expected. So, can you let me use your portal thingy and go back home?" Luz said, only for Eda to point Owlbert at her.

"Now hold on just a minute. I'll let you go home if you help me first. Come on, human." Eda began walking away, and Luz was quick to follow.

The two stopped in front of a cottage with an attached stone tower. The cottage section had a large stained-glass window in the shape of an eye over the front door. Speaking of that door, there was an incredibly realistic carving of the face of an owl. It kinda freaked Luz out.

Luz looked over her shoulder. "Aren't you worried that those guards could have followed us?"

"Not in the slightest. My house has a cutting edge defense system." Eda confidently said.

"Hoot hoot! What's the password?" The owl face on the door was actually talking. This world never stopped surprising Luz.

Eda poked the owl... door... thing in the eyes. "Can it, Hooty. Just let us in."

"All right, all right. Jees. Do you all hate having fun or something? Ow! Hoot!" Hooty then opened his maw, expanding to fill the entire doorframe. Luz and Eda stepped through the doorway, before Hooty returned to normal and let out a belch.

"Welcome to... the Owl House."

10 Minutes Prior

Number Five was tired of running. She adjusted her cowl, tightening it up, and began to survey the marketplace. There weren't any unattended stands. Oh Titan, this wasn't going to be easy. Guards would be crawling all over the place.

Five noticed that an oddly large crowd was gathering around a stand. They walked over to investigate. Music, or something like it, was being emitted from an odd-looking box. A tall witch with a red dress was grabbing handfuls of snails from the onlookers vying for the box and a... Hold on. Was that a human standing next to the witch? How did one of those get here? Five looked around, and noticed that a portal was open inside the witch's tent. Ahh, that's how.

Suddenly, a guard smashed the music box. The guard was apparently trying to arrest the witch for some crime. Five didn't hear what for though, because she was too busy looking for a place to hide. Not finding anywhere that would work, Five snuck into the witch's tent, ditched her cloak, and went through the portal without a second thought. Wherever she ended up would be better than here.


Saturday, May 22, 2021 | 9:22 A.M. | The Woods of Gravesfield, Connecticut

Camila was running out of options. She had checked the entire house and had also asked the Berenson's if they had seen Luz. No luck. Then, an idea struck her. Camila had always told Luz to stay away from the old abandoned house in the woods. Luz had to be there. She just had to.

Beginning her trek into the woods, Camila tried to remember the exact path to the rundown building. Turning left after walking passed the large granite chunk embedded in a tree, and then following the stream, she found herself in front of the house.

And Luz was there.

"Hello, fellow human. Skin sure is weird." Camila chuckled as Luz stretched the skin of her elbow.

"Oh cariño, you had me so worried. I'm just glad you're okay." Camila said, giving Luz a tight hug.

"Alright, since the bus is nowhere to be seen, how about we drive to camp instead of waiting? I'll give you full control of the playlist once we hit the interstate. How does that sound?"

"That, uh, sounds great," Luz said, even though she looked confused for some reason.

Camila smiled, and the two packed the car up and drove off to camp.