Kaufetag 2, Fifth Lunar Disappearance, 50 CE | The Owl House

Luz gasped. "This place is beautiful!"

The living room floor was mostly barren, save for two old (but comfy looking) couches and a wooden coffee table. The walls were much more lively, though. The wall behind the large, maroon couch was covered in random objects. Luz could make out an axe, foam finger, and a disembodied hand, all hanging on the wall, among countless other oddities. The main focal point for that wall, though, was a huge framed version of the wanted poster Luz had seen earlier. On the ceiling, a ginormous caricature of an owl could be seen, outlined in a yellow flame. A few chests laid sealed shut by the door, while an extravagant fireplace and numerous candles provided lighting for the room, casting a slight orange hue over everything.

Luz laid her backpack down, resting it against the coffee table and letting her shoulders relax.

"So, do you live here by yourself, or?" Luz questioned.

"Actually, I have a roommate. Last I checked, he was napping though." Eda responded.

Suddenly, a loud THUD echoed through the building.

"Not anymore, it seems."

"Who dares awaken the King of Demons from his slumber?" Luz turned to see the cutest thing she had ever seen. Even cuter then the Hecazura fanart that acted as her phone's wallpaper, hard as that may be. Standing in the hallway was a creature Luz had never encountered before. His body was similar to that of a dog, with black fur, a gray underbelly, with his tail being tipped in a similar color. A red collar with a gold tag on it was wrapped around his neck. Instead of dog paws, he had claws that were bone white, and his head appeared to be a skull with two horns protruding from the top, one of them missing a sizable chunk off the top. The cutest part, though, was his outfit. He wore a small navy blue nightcap, complete with a tiny yellow tassel hanging off the edge, and he dragged a light bleu blanket behind him, Luz couldn't help but be reminded of that one character from Legumes. (What was that character's name? Lincoln? Luz thought.) His pink eyes with yellow sclera met Luz's hazel.

"¡Eres tan lindo!" Luz ran over and wrapped the small creature up in a tight hug and spun around, sending the nightcap and blanket flying. "Eda, he's adorable! Who's a little cutie? Who's a little cutie? Is it you? Is it you?"

King gave a valiant effort to escape Luz's grasp, but it failed. "No! I don't know who your little cutie is! Eda, free me from this monster!"

Eda then snatched Luz, dragging her away from King. "'This monster' is Luz, a human. She's here to help us with our... situation."

"Really? Great!" King exclaimed.

Luz looked up at Eda, still stuck in the witch's grasp. "Hold on. What do you mean by 'situation'?"

Eda sighed and let Luz down. "How should I explain this? King here was once the mighty King of Demons, ruling over his subjects with an iron fist and defeating countless enemies in battle, squashing them if they ever challenged his throne. But one day, his Crown of Power was stolen, and he turned into what you see today."

"You mean this little sweetie." Luz interjected, giving King another tight hug.

"The Crown is held under lock and key by the notorious Warden Wrath, trapped behind a nigh-impenetrable force field that only a human can break through. A human like you."

Eda looked at Luz, gauging her reaction. The girl had a mix of wonder and intrigue painted on her face.

"I'll make a deal with ya, kid. If you help us get King's crown back, you'll get a one-way ticket through the portal back to the Human Realm. Plus, who could say no to this little angel?" Eda picked up King and gently shook him to drive home the point.

"Ahh! Don't encourage this!" King yelled, before Eda dropped him to the floor.

"Look, kid. We need you right now. If you want to go home, you'll have to do us a favor first," Eda stated.

"So I'm guessing this is my only option?" Luz said glumly.

"Yup, now come on. We have to hurry." Eda said, picking Luz up and throwing her over her shoulder, quickly walking out the door.

"Don't forget about me!" King said, chasing after them.

"Where exactly are we going to get King's crown?" Luz thought aloud as the group mounted Owlbert.

"Don't worry, kid. It'll be a blast." Eda said.

"Welcome to the Conformatorium, where the quote unquote 'unsuitable of society' are locked away. Or, as I call them, 'like-minded individuals'." Eda hopped off Owlbert, before the others followed suit. The flight over had been relatively quick, but the weather had decided to take a turn for the worse, with the sunny skies giving way to muggy, gray clouds and the occasional bolt of lightning and clap of thunder. Luckily, though, there was no accompanying boiling rains.

During the trip from the Owl House to the Conformatorium, Luz had noticed that the odd hunger in her stomach was back. She probably just needed a snack or something to soothe the rumblings, so she ignored it. Food could wait. They were on a mission!

"Woah, they've got your face plastered everywhere." Luz observed, ripping one of Eda's wanted posters of a wall. She haphazardly stuck the poster in her back pocket.

"Yup, but we still haven't been caught cause we're so slick," Eda said with a grin.

"Try to catch me when I'm covered in grease. I'm a squirmy little fella." King said from atop Luz's head, before promptly falling off and landing on the dirt with an oof.

"So what exactly is our plan to get King his crown back?" Luz inquired.

"It's pretty simple: you and King are going to sneak up to the top of the tower and get his crown from behind the force field, while I'll keep the warden distracted." Eda explained.

"Wait, does that mean we'll need disguises?" Luz gasped, "I have the perfect idea then." Pulling her hood up, and flicking the sewed-on cat ears up, she let out a "Meow, meow!"

"That's disgusting." King remarked.

"You look like a bona fide weirdo. Good thinkin', kid." Eda chimed in.

Eda then slammed the butt of her staff against the ground. A glowing circular platform appeared under Luz and King's feet and it began to rise.

"Don't fall off and I'll meet you at the Contraband area." Eda said before hopping on Owlbert and flying off to another part of the prison.

The platform quickly rose up the side of the tower until it reached an opening that both King and Luz could fit through.

Acting quickly, Luz jumped off the platform and scrambled to find purchase on the ledge. King, meanwhile, jumped onto Luz and climbed on and over her until he was inside the building, grunting the entire time. Luz then barely managed to pull herself over the ledge and in, only to fall face first onto the floor.

As she recomposed herself and brushed the dirt and cobwebs from her face and hair, King chuckled at her misfortune. "Haha. You're not a real cat."

Just before Luz was about to snark back at the dog-creature, a new voice interrupted the two. "Hey, cat lady, how did you escape?"

Luz turned to find where the voice was coming from and found herself face-to-face with a prisoner. The witch in question had their black hair tied up in a ponytail and were wearing a simple indigo dress and a gold band around their neck with a pair of black, heeled boots to finish the ensemble.

"I'm not a cat, and I'm not a criminal." Luz pulled down her hood, revealing her actual ears.

"You'll probably be one soon, though." King said.

"We aren't, either. The warden just locks up anyone who doesn't agree with the emperor or does something he doesn't like. Like, I write fanfics about food falling in love. Everyone likes food, and everyone likes love, so just combine the two. But no. The emperor doesn't like lemons, so off to jail I go," The witch proclaimed.

"I'm here because I eat my eyes." Another prisoner said, and to emphasize their point, they ate one of their own eyes, only for it to reappear in its socket a second later.

"We are agents of chaos! We speak the twuth!" A third prisoner said.

"Ugh, don't listen to her. She's watched way too many conspiracy theories on the CB." The first prisoner interjected.

"The world is actually a stowy, and we are but chawacters in it!" The other continued.

Luz paced back and forth, debating with herself, before finally coming to a decision.

"None of these are actually crimes. Sure, they are a little... odd, but you aren't hurting anyone. You especially haven't done anything worth prison."

Suddenly, loud footsteps began echoing through the chamber.

"Oh crud, it's the warden. Quick, hide!"

Luz quickly ran into an empty cell, King in close pursuit, and slammed the gate shut. Outside the cell, Eda's wanted poster had fallen out of Luz's pocket and came to a rest on the floor.

A door that Luz hadn't noticed previously opened, and out stepped the warden.

"Do you fools think I'm deaf?"

Luz whimpered, moving to make herself as small as possible in the back corner of the cell. Unbeknownst to her, her spots on her hands were larger than they had ever been, nearly covering her entire palm.

"What are you scum talking about?"

Warden Wrath stomped his way over to the cell Luz and King were in before grabbing the wanted poster off the ground.

"Ahh. The Owl Lady."

The warden then morphed his hand into a hammer, completely encompassing the poster, before slamming it into the gate of the cell.

"She'll be in a cell soon enough."

The warden turned to look at Luz. She pressed herself even further into the corner, feeling the cold, rough bricks rubbing against her skin. Luz slammed her eyes shut, saying a silent prayer that the warden wouldn't notice that she was an intruder. What Luz didn't notice, however, was that the eyelids she had closed had done so horizontally, instead of vertically.

"Fwee us, you tywant. You can never siwence us. The twuth will be heard."

Luz slowly opened her eyes to see the warden opening the cell belonging to the conspiracy theorist.

"Hooway, fweedom at wast!"

Only for the warden to wrap his hand around the prisoner's entire body and squeeze tightly.

"If I ever hear a word from any of you ever again, expect solitary confinement for the rest of your miserable little lives."

With that last warning, the warden stomped off, conspiracy theorist in hand, and closed the door.

Luz slowly crawled back to the front of the cell, and checked to make sure the warden was really gone. After confirming that, she slowly lifted the gate and crawled out, King following close behind.

Luz ran over to the witch prisoner's cell.

"Don't worry, I'll get you guys out." With all her might, Luz tried to lift the handle controlling the cell gate. It didn't budge.

"Curse my weak noodle arms." Luz said, defeated.

"Hey, kid. You're free. Enjoy it, even if we can't." The prisoner said, retreating into the darkness of their cell and sliding to the ground.

Luz despondently walked away, picking King up and holding him under her arm.

Eventually, Luz found a long hallway that was deserted and sat down, stewing in the despair that she couldn't help those poor prisoners.

Suddenly, Eda flew up to the two before getting off Owlbert.

"Hey. Just checked on Wrath, and he's preoccupied torturing some tiny nose creature. He won't bother us for a while. Let's find King's crown and skedaddle."

Wordlessly, Luz got up and began walking down the hall, only to find herself in front of a gigantic door with the word "CONTRABAND" emblazoned on it.

"My crown. I can sense it. It has to be nearby." King ran up to the door and began fiddling with the knob, trying to force the door open.

Eda chuckled. "He's adorable when power gets to his head."

Luz felt a small smile on her face. Yeah, that is pretty cute.

King grunted as he threw the doorknob behind him. Apparently, he had broken the entire lock. Forcing the door open, King made his way into the contraband holding area.

"Come on, let's follow him before he blows something up." With that, Eda and Luz followed the dog-demon.

The room wasn't exactly what Luz expected. She thought the magical force field would be like an invisible wall, separating the items and everyone else. Instead, the force field was an opaque blue-ish white cylinder in the center of the room. Outside the cylinder, a small box was toppled over, spilling objects onto the floor.

"Give me my crown!" King yelled as he ran head first into the force field, only to be sent flying back.

"Hey genius, we have a human remember?" Eda said, prompting King's memory.

"Oh, right." King responded.

Approaching the cylinder, Luz took a deep breath and pressed her hand against it, expecting to feel some odd sensation as her hand passes straight through.

It didn't.

Luz's hand was planted firmly against the force field.

Trying again, Luz backed up and walked forward, only to walk into a wall of magic.

She tried again to no avail.

"Eda, are you sure humans can pass through?"

"Pretty sure, kid."

"Mierda." Luz hoped mamá wasn't somehow listening in, or there would be a meeting between a bar of soap and her mouth when she got back home.

Luz tried a fourth time to pass through the barrier, and got pushed back all the same.

After that last failed attempt, Luz was beginning to freak out.

Maybe she had to say some password.

"Klaatu barada nikto." Nothing.

"Open sesame." No change.

"Please open." Once again, no response.

Luz began fervently pacing back and forth.

She was human, right?

She had to be. She wasn't a centaur. She didn't have blue skin, or an extra set of eyes growing out of her forehead, or a tail.

She had to be human.

She had to.

"Hey Luz, do humans normally grow scales on their arms when they're stressed?" King's voice broke through.

"What."

Luz stopped pacing and looked down at her right arm, only to see that her entire forearm was covered in brown and white scales. Rotating her arm slowly, they glistened in the soft torchlight that illuminated the room.

Luz blinked, trying to make the scales go away. As she did so, she noticed that her eyelids were moving left-right, instead of the normal up-down motion she was used to.

What was wrong with her?

She looked at her left arm, and the same brown and white scales were popping up there, too.

Then, Luz felt her ears change. Reaching up to where her ears used to be, she instead felt fur-like hair and leathery skin.

Entering full on panic mode, Luz tried to run over to Eda, only to find her that legs were fusing together, forming into a tail. Falling to the ground, Luz felt the panic overtake her as she felt even more changes wrack her body.

Her hair that was normally cut short grew long, extending down her back.

Her nose flattened and rounded out, looking more like it belonged on a pug than a person.

Her teeth sharpened, being replaced entirely with canines.

Her hands became unrecognizable, with her fingernails morphing into claws and the fingers themselves growing long and spindly.

Her insides weren't safe, either, as she felt what felt like a second stomach grow out of nothing, and her entire digestive system got completely messed up.

As fast as the changes had began, they stopped.

Luz began taking slow, shallow breaths.

What had just happened?

Luz peered up at Eda and King to see their faces staring back at hers with a look of horror.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE TITAN?" Eda broke the silence.

"I don't know. I swear Miss Eda, I have no idea what's going on." Luz said, feeling lucky that she could still talk.

"Okay, okay. Let's just think this through. So, you've always been a human." Eda began.

"Yeah."

"But then you got spooked because you couldn't go through the humans-only force field, and turned into a... whatever you are right now."

"Uh huh."

"Has this ever happened before when you got scared or anxious?"

"Not that I can think of."

"Can you think of any way to turn yourself back into a human? Maybe try picturing yourself that way. See what happens."

Luz closed her eyes, and concentrated.

She wanted to be human again.

She wanted her two legs back.

She wanted her hair to be normal.

She wanted fingernails and short, stubby fingers.

She wanted a pointy nose and blocky teeth.

She wanted her body back.

Opening her eyes, Luz was still a demon.

"Dang it," she whispered.

"Hmm. Well that ain't good," Eda said. She swore she had seen a creature that looked like Luz before, in one of her old cryptozoology books that she had studied as a kid. What was it, though?

Breaking the silence, both of Luz's stomachs decided to loudly rumble.

"Miss Eda, I know this is an odd question, but do you have any food on you?" Luz asked.

"That's it!" Eda shouted, seemingly ignoring Luz's request, "You're a basilisk! I knew I'd seen it somewhere."

Her celebration was short-lived though, as Warden Wrath appeared behind her, and sliced off her head in one swift move. Her head rolled to a stop in front of Luz.

Luz screamed, thinking she had just witnessed a murder, only for Eda to keep on talking.

"What the hell. You can't let me celebrate for five seconds?" She complained.

Wrath walked over and picked up Eda's head, bringing it to eye level.

"Eda the Owl Lady. I've finally captured you."

Luz scanned her surroundings. It was just the four of them, no guards in sight. Good. That would make this much easier.

"I knew your pet couldn't live without his toy, and he brought you right to me."

Luz tried lifting her tail, and found that it had some significant heft behind it. She was still hungry, too. And it wasn't for food, she realised. It was for something else. A plan quickly formulated itself in her mind.

"But I'm not here to be your captor. I am here with a proposition."

It was now or never.

"LET MISS EDA GO!"

Swinging her body around and using her tail like a baseball bat, Luz swatted at Eda's head and sent it flying. With the warden distracted by the now flying head, Luz quickly righted herself and faced Wrath. Opening her jaw as far as it could go, she began to CONSUME. She wasn't sure how she knew what to do, but she did. It was like second nature for her. She felt her stomachs begin to fill as she drained more and more magic from the warden. His magic had an interesting taste, she noted, like a mix of grape juice and honey, with the viscosity to match.

Wrath first wavered back and forth, before falling to one knee as he grew weaker, and then finally collapsed to the ground face-first, his skin now a pale shade of gray instead of its normal purple hue.

Luz slithered over (That was weird for her to say.) and pressed two long fingers against the warden's neck. She hoped the warden's anatomy was similar to that of a humans. She felt a pulse, albeit a weak one. Good. She may have been an unholy abomination, but at least she wasn't a murderer.

She then went and picked Eda's head up and handed it over to its owner's wandering body.

After screwing her head back on, Eda gave Luz a smile.

"I don't know what the hell you just did, but thanks kid. Now let's get out of here before Warden Wartface wakes up."

Luz reciprocated the smile as best she could, even though hers probably made it look like she wanted to eat someone's baby. It was the thought that counts.

As the trio made their way out of the contraband room, King noticed something sticking out of the box that was laying outside the force field. Dashing over, he pulled out a stuffed rabbit with buttons for eyes. Letting out a giggle, he tapped the rabbit on the shoulder three times while proclaiming, "I dub thee Francois, and you shall serve as the second-in-command in my Army of Darkness."

Returning to the group with a shout of, "I have a minion now!", King scampered his way up to rest on Eda's shoulder.

The group then swiftly made their way back to the main holding cells. They encountered a few guards along the way, but it wasn't anything a quick whack to the back of the head with Owlbert couldn't solve. It was right then that Eda had a wonderful, devious idea.

As Luz and Eda combined to free all of the prisoners in the Conformatorium, they noticed that three of them were staying behind at the front door.

Flying down, the three staying behind were the three prisoners that Luz had met earlier.

The fanfic writer approached them first.

"Thanks, Owl Lady and co. If you ever need any help, don't be afraid to ask. Oh, and my name's Katya, by the way."

Katya then left, flying away on her palisman.

The eye eater was next, walking away with a simple, "Thank you."

Finally, there was the conspiracy theorist, who ran off quickly after saying, "May the authow show mawcy on your souw."

Luz slithered through the front door of the Owl House, not even bothering to humor Hooty, and promptly collapsed onto the couch. While the flight to the Conformatorium had been easy as a human, the flight back was not as easy, as she had to wrap her tail around Owlbert multiple times and gripping tightly with both hands to keep herself from falling off, which was not a fun task.

As she felt herself sink into the worn-out cushions, Luz heard her phone's text alert go off, with the specific chime indicating that it was from Mamá. Letting out a sigh, she dug through her bag to retrieve the guilty device, only to find that her scaly fingers weren't working on the touchscreen. Cursing silently, she put her phone back down. This was a conundrum.

Eda decided to make her presence known by barging into the living room from the basement, an old book held high in the air with both hands.

"FOUND IT!" She yelled.

"Found what?" Luz asked.

"My old cryptozoology study book." Eda answered.

"Oh yay." Luz said, eyes closing slowly as she struggled to stay awake. "Can we read it in the morning though? I'm super tired."

"Totally, kid. I'll leave it on the kitchen table for when you wake up," Eda said, placing the book right where she said she would, before going upstairs.

"Thanks..." Luz slurred out as Eda went up the steps. The couch was really comfortable, and would be a nice spot to sleep.

"No problem, kid. Have a good night."


Saturday, May 22, 2021, 10:19 PM | Reality Check Summer Camp | Hoboken, New Jersey

Number Five sighed and collapsed onto her bed. Today had been stressful. She'd had to go the entire day in the Lus Luz disguise, something she had never done before. Before today, the longest she'd kept a morph on was only about two hours, but now she'd had to do it for over twelve. It really tested her willpower, because if she was scared or surprised hard enough, then she could accidentally drop the disguise, outing her as a demon to everyone who saw. That could not happen.

Another thing that Five realized was that the Human Realm had no magic in it whatsoever, and that she was running dangerously low on magic as well, so she was essentially stuck in this form for the time being.

She stared at the bottom of the bed hanging a few feet above her. The frame was in clear need of some fixing, but she doubted the camp cared, based on the similar state of disrepair of the other buildings she had been in today.

This camp was not at all what Camila had described it as during the car ride over.

Five let out another long sigh, drawing the attention of Masha, who stuck their head down from the bunk bed above.

"You alright, Luz?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah I'm fine. Just... thinking, ya know?"

"Whatcha thinkin' about?"

"I don't know. Camp. Life. Stuff like that."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Alright. If you ever do want to talk about it, though, I'll always be open. Same probably goes for Jake and Marco, wherever they are."

"Where are those two, anyway? Wasn't lights out supposed to be at 10?"

"I dunno. They're probably playing a prank on Counselor Chapman or something."

"Yeah, probably. Well, I'm really tired, so I'm gonna go to sleep. Night, Masha."

"Night, Luz."