Chapter 81 - Stewie Loves Lois

As the scene show Frank Mallque Jr getting out of the refrigerator with a bag of peas on his head.

Frank Jr

I rock peas on my head,
but don't call me a pea head

Then next scene shows Peter Griffin with lots of bees on his head as the bees cover his hair like an afro.

Peter

Bees on my head
but don't call me a bee head

The next scene show John with a tiny Bruce lee figure on his head while the scene zoom out to show him doing a karate pose.

John

Bruce lee's on my head
but don't call me a lee head

Then next scene show Frank, Peter and Frank Jr in the Griffin bedroom as Frank is feed a bonsie tree with a milk bottle.

Frank, Peter and Frank Jr

Now excuse me please
we got's to get my tree fed

Then next scene shows the Griffin girls standing together as random scene pass by them and then it show Persephone using a sewing machine to make her own clothing

Meg, Persephone and Emily

You wear name brands
and I make my own clothing

Then the next scene shows Stewie with Brian on his lap with him having a loathing face.

Stewie

I hang out with an Dog
who loves self-loathing

"I hate myself!" Brian said at the people.

The next scene show Peter make pancakes until he puts on his face.

Peter

Pancake on my face makes me extra happy

Then next scene show Tyler with a shampoo bottle on his lap as he rubs like a baby.

Tyler

I like shampoo bottles that sit on my lappy

Then the scene show Frank telling the audience that they can't tell him what to do while a cartoon tells him to dance like a monkey. Then he has a lemon throw at him but used it in his beef stew.

Frank

Cuz it's my show you can't tell us whatta do
when life hands me lemons I make beef stew

Then the scene show the family wear burglar masks while they are rocking on a rocking chair couch. Then it show Peter putting a bologna in his left pocket while Lois put cream cheese in Frank's gold locket

Frank

So yo we gotta go it's time for us to rock it
Peter put bologna in his left pocket
Lois just smear some cream cheese in my gold locket

As the scene show Frank talking to the audience that it's his show. Then again with Frank with Frank Jr dancing behind him

Frank and Frank Jr

Cuz it's my show I'm Frank George Mallque
it's my show I'm shmanky jeews shmallques
it's my show I'm
Frank George Mallque.

As the scene ends with Frank Jr and Frank wearing hoody's while holding a sign that said Family Guy Mallque Chronicles Season 5 and it fade to black.

Now we join ourselves back at the Mallque/Griffin house as the family was on the couch watching channel 5 news.

"We interrupt this program with a special report. Quahog is seeing its worst flu epidemic in years, due in part to a severe shortage of flu shots." Tom tucker said

"Let's go live to Asian flu correspondent Tricia Takanawa, Tricia?" Diane Simmons said as she passes the news to Tricia Takanawa who is inside the bathroom,

"Diane, I'm..." Tricia was about explain herself until she vomits into the toilet.

Now the scene change back to channel 5 news

"Thank you, Tricia. We now return you to Robin, Boy Wonder." Diane thanks Tricia and she explain that they are return the show to robin, boy wonder.

As the scene change to young women inside a car as it is tilting off the cliff.

"Hey, don't worry. I'm here." Robin said as he arrive near the car with the chicks inside.

"Robin? They sent you?" One of the chicks said in unsatisfied tone.

"Yeah. Everyone else was busy so, uh, they sent me." Robin explain that everyone in the justice league was busy and they send him instead.

What the hell are you going to do? You don't have any superpowers. One of the chicks said in angry tone.

"Uh, I... got a cell phone. Oh, no bars." Robin said that he has a cell phone but there is no bars.

Now we join Peter and Frank Jr at the hospital to get their checkup of flu shots. Until dr. Hartman comes into the waiting room.

"All right, who's next for a flu shot?" Dr. Hartman asked the people in the waiting room about who is getting some flu shots.

"Oh, that's me, I'm, uh, I'm Peter Griffin!" Peter shouted as he raise his hand for Dr. Hartman.

"Mr. Griffin, these flu shots are in short supply. We need to save them for the elderly. Like these folks here." Dr. Hartman tell peter that the flu shots are in short supply and the doctors need to save them for the elderly.

"Oh. Okay." Frank Jr said in his grandpa place understanding for the old people need the shots.

But this made peter go blank face as he rises from his seat.

"Well, I guess I'll be heading out then and... Whoa!" Peter said as he is about to leave until he fake trips into the flu shot that Dr. Hartman have in his hand.

"Oh, look at that. Oh, well, since it's already in there, you might as well, push down on the ol' plunger there." Peter explain to the doctor that the shot is in him so just give push down the needle.

This cause one of the elderly to get mad and call peter names.

"You're a monster." Elderly Woman reply as she calls peter a monsters.

"You know what was a monster? Frampton Comes Alive, 1976. Is there anyone you knew who didn't have that record? I don't think so." Peter explains that Frampton Comes Alive, 1976 was a monster. He then asked her if she knew anyone that she knew who didn't have that record.

"Bam!" Frank Jr said as he smack the old lady with a roll up magazine.

"All right, have a good winter." Peter said as he and junior turn toward the doctor.

"Very well, Mr. Griffin, you got your flu shot. Now, if you'll just sign here... Dr. Hartman said as he about to let peter sign some things to let him go home.

Until he notice something wrong in his file.

"Hmm, well, this is odd." Dr. Hartman said in question in peter's file.

"What?" Frank Jr said in question as to why the doctor stalling on something.

Well, you're 42 years old, and it says here you've never had a prostate exam! Dr. Hartman said as he realizes that Peter needs a prostate exam.

No, but I've had other exams. Like that one in college. Peter Griffin said his response as he set up a cutaway about his other exam in college.

Cutaway

We see Peter taking a final exam in college.

"Damn it, this is too hard! Peter said as he throws his pencil off the table

"Here's what I think of your test, Mr. Teacher" Peter angrily ripped the test and rubbed it in his butt and throws it on the floor.

"You just stood up to me. Congratulations. That was the test" Mr. Teacher said as he shook Peter's hand.

That's when Peter is then shown running with Frank Jr across the college grounds until they runs into a flock of birds. They both jumps with them, and the scene freezes there.

YEAH! Peter Griffin and Frank Jr scream in excitement

Cutaway Ends

Now back to the hospital with Dr. Harman and Peter in patient room.

"OK, heart sounds good... alright Mr. Griffin, I just gonna need you to drop your pants and we'll check your prostate." Dr. Hartman asked peter to drop his pants to check his prostate.

Frank Jr Out!? Frank Jr said as he leave the waiting table.

This cause Frank Jr to leave the room after hearing that.

"Umm...What?" Peter Griffin asking confusion on what the doctor said.

"Drop your pants, turn around and lean forward." Dr. Hartman repeated what he just said.

"Umm...OK." Peter Griffin said okay in response.

As Peter pulls his pants and underpants down as Dr. Hartman puts on a rubber glove.

"So, how's this work? You just feel my pulse, or...AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Peter Griffin said the exam, of course, is not what he expects when the doctor sticks his finger up his anus. Then he screams, flailing and crashes a shelf.

This cause Frank Jr to bust in by breaking the door with his leg.

"WHAT THE FUGDE WAS THAT!?" Frank Jr shouted as he is notice his grandpa on the fall with a fearful look.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Peter Griffin reply in terror.

"Mr. Griffin, that's a prostate exam." Dr. Hartman explain to him that it was the prostate exam.

"Shut up, you had your finger in my ass!" Peter Griffin shouted in fear as exclaim that Dr. Hartman put his finger in Peter's ass.

"That's how a prostate exam is performed. Now if you'll just let me..." Dr. Hartman explain to peter that is how a prostate exam is performed.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Peter Griffin shouted in tear to tell the doctor to get away from him.

As he and Frank Jr runs out of the room with peter crying, with only his pants around his ankles, then out of the hospital, then past Mayor West on a park bench.

"Ugh...get a tan." Mayor Adam West said in disgust of peter's naked butt.

Now we join peter and Frank Jr in the bedroom at night. They are still shocked after happened to them at the hospital and Lois get worried for both of them.

"Peter, my God, you look terrible. What happened?" Lois asked them on what happened to them.

"I was raped." Peter Griffin said slowly tone.

"Hahaha! What?" Lois Griffin said as she chuckles by peter's response.

This cause Frank Jr to get piss off.

"Dr. Hartman violated Grandpa. He took his innocence." Frank Jr reply in an angry tone.

"Hahahahaha! W...What?" Lois Griffin said as she chuckles harder by her Grandson response.

As Peter whispers in her ear

"Peter, that's a prostate exam. It's an important part of a physical for men your age."Lois Griffin tries to convince him that it was a standard examination,

"YOU SOUND JUST LIKE HIM!" Peter Griffin said in sadness tone.

As he runs off, sobbing.

"Fuckin' idiot." Lois Griffin said until Frank Jr bitch slap, which shocked her on why her grandson would do that but he walks away in a huff.

As we join Peter sitting on the couch in the living room. Peter is convinced that he was being raped, and enters a period of shock. That when Brian, John and Frank comes by and see him in a state of panic.

Hey, Peter, buddy, how about some TV, huh? Brian asked peter if he wants to watch tv.

AsFrank switches on TV.

"We now return to Freddie Got Fingered." TV Presenter announce the program.

"Oh, God!" Peter said in panic as he thinks Freddie will finger him,

As John changes the channel. It is "E.T.", the title character says "Ouch..." and he is holding his finger out

"OH GOD!" Peter said in loud panic tone as Frank change the channel again.

"Yellow pages. Let your fingers do the walking." Commercial voice-over man announce the commercial of Yellow pages.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Peter Griffin shouted in tears as he run away.

As he descends into tears, runs upstairs and passes Chris with a foam hand on.

"Are we still going to the baseball game?" Chris asked Peter if they are going to the baseball game.

"Get that away from me Chris!" Peter said to Chris to get away.

As he continues to run, crying. Passes Chris's room, where the Evil Monkey has just emerged and he points threateningly at Peter

"Stop it, Meg!" Peter said as he confuse the monkey with his daughter.

"Grandpa..." Frank Jr said as he tries to get through to him but fails.

"Peter, Me and Frank Jr are trying to be supportive but after all, it was just a prostate exam." Lois tries to convince him again that it was a standard examination.

But peter still scared in his bed.

"You weren't there, Lois. You weren't there." Peter said as he still is scared of the doctor.

We join Peter in the bathroom, as Frank Jr slashing his hair off.

"Who's that? Who are you? Where's Peter? Where is he?! You're a whore!" Peter said to his reflection as he begins to scribble over his face with lipstick.

"Wear your whore make-up, you whore!" Peter said as he calls himself a whore.

Until someone knocks the door.

"Is someone in there?" Chris said off screen.

"Ocupado!" Frank Jr reply Chris as he hear him leaving.

"Filthy Whore! You're somebody's father you Filthy Whore!" Frank Jr said to peter to get his act together and he also call him a whore since he looks like one.

We join Frank Jr and Stewie is at the park with Lois and Emily.

"Hi, sweetie." Lois said as she waves hello to her baby.

"Ugh, look at her staring. What are you looking at, huh?" Stewie asked his bear and his nephew.

As Frank Jr shrug it off and tells him that she is saying to her son but stewie didn't listen.

"God, I should take her out right here with these, man." Stewie said as he does kick ass moves implying that he is kicking her ass.

"Oh, hey, Lois. Oh, you like staring? Oh, why don't I give you a closer look?" Stewie said as he draws her in with fighting noises.

"Yeah, you want some of this, Maury Po-bitch?" Stewie said as he think her in his backside until he back fist her in the face in his mind.

"Oh, oh, what's that, oh, you come back for more, huh?" Stewie said as he goes side to side like a boxer.

As Frank Jr plus john and Tyler just roll their eyes in disgust.

"I'd freakin' drop her ass." Stewie said to Frank Jr that he will drop her ass and Frank Jr just slow clap sarcastically.

Few minutes later a bull dog come near the babies.

"Oh, an unfamiliar dog." Stewie said in fear like a normal baby

"Why don't you go away? I don't want to be your friend." Frank Jr asked the dog to go away.

That's when a dog attacks Rupert and takes him away.

"Rupert! Oh, dear God, somebody help! Rupert!" Stewie call someone to help his bear.

Upon calling out for help, Lois catches and attacks the dog and retrieves Rupert.

"Give me that bear!" Lois said as she tries to pull Rupert out of the dog's mouth.

Now we join the babies hug eachother in fear of what just happen to them until Emily came towards them.

"Oh, honey, I'm afraid Rupert had a little injury." Emily said as she pulls out Rupert, who is sadly ruined. As Stewie is very distraught by this event.

"Oh, Rupert, please live. Please, I'll never be short with you again. W-We'll go away. W-We'll go to Hawaii. Would you like that? I always envisioned how it would be." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about himself and Rupert going to Hawaii.

Cutaway

We see Stewie and a humanized Rupert at the beach.

"I never knew there could be such a thing as a perfect day" Rupert said.

"Don't frolic too much, Rupert. Save some energy for the hula contest" Stewie corrected.

Cutaway Ends

Now we join the babies in the living room as Emily and Lois are fixes Rupert as much as possible. Then we see both Emily and Lois coming towards stewie with a surprise for him.

"Stewie, I have a surprise for you." Lois said to stewie that she and Emily has something for him.

As Emily reveal something from her hand was Rupert, fix and good as new.

"Good as new." Emily said to her as she hand over the bear to stewie.

WOW, rupet is good as new uncle stewie! Frank Jr shouted in shocked on how his uncle bear fix like new.

"Rupert, it's really him. I don't believe it. You-you did this for me?" Stewie said in shocked as he couldn't believe that Emily and is mother would do this.

"And to help you feel better, I made your favorite dinner." Lois said as she takes stewie in her arm to take him and Frank Jr to the kitchen.

This delights Stewie who, after Lois makes him his favorite dinner.

"Cut green beans...Atkins-friendly potato sticks arranged according to size from largest to smallest, and a Scooby-Doo yogurt with Shaggy's eyes scratched out. Oh, it's perfect down to the last detail." Stewie said as he is love how they made his favorite dinner.

"Emily and Lois, I was wrong about both of you. You're...you're both my everything." Stewie said as he decides he loves his mother and his older sister.

"Mommy loves you, sweetheart." Lois said as kisses him in the cheeks.

As they leave the kitchen, we see John, Tyler and Brian are gonna rip on stewie.

"Stewie loves Lois and Emily!" Brian, John and Tyler said in annoying tone.

"Brian loves Olympia Dukakis! Frank Jr said about Brian loving Olympia Dukakis

"Oh yeah, I do." Brian said as his love the actress but it gross out John and Tyler.

Now we join Peter and the gang at the drunken clam in their table

"Pops, what's the matter with you today? You're not yourself." Frank asked him on why he is not himself today.

"Guys, I went to Dr. Hartman yesterday and...he did things to my fanny!" Peter explain that when he went to the hospital, Dr. Hartman did things to his fanny.

As everyone gasp on what just happen to peter, Cleveland comfort him.

"Peter, It's okay." Cleveland Brown said to him that it is okay.

But peter shrugs it off.

"It's not okay! You don't know what it's like!" Peter tell Cleveland that he doesn't know what it was like for him.

"You're wrong. I too have felt the cold finger of injustice on my insidey parts!" Cleveland said that he too felt the cold finger of injustice on his insidey parts.

"He...he did it to you, too?" Peter said in shocked that Cleveland had his butt check.

That's when quagmire said something to the group.

"I have something to say. Dr. Hartman violated me as well. I only went in there for a physical/guinea pig removal, but I turned out to be the guinea pig...for his sexual experimentation!" Quagmire confess that Dr. Hartman violated him as well.

"You guys are a bunch of queers." Joe said to the group.

As he and zeke leaves, then comes back crying with zeke.

"And so are we! Oh God, it was horrible! We scrubbed and we scrubbed, but DAMN IT, THEY DON'T MAKE WATER HOT ENOUGH!" Zeke shouted as he cries about his time with Dr, Hartman.

"My God, we've all been victims of Dr. Hartman's "prostate exam." Well, gentleman, the abuse stops here. I will not turn a brown eye to this. I am gonna sue that bastard and make him pay out the ass. No if's, and's, or but's. I'm gonna be really anal about this. Sphincter." Peter Griffin said as upon hearing this, Peter's fear becomes outrage when he decides to sue his doctor.

We join ourselves at the Griffin bedroom as Lois wake up to find stewie near her face.

"Good morning, Lois." Stewie said hello to Lois as she wakes up.

"My, Stewie, you're in a good mood today." Lois said as she notices the change in his demeanor

"Oh, why shouldn't I be? You saved Rupert's life and I love you for it. So warn the villagers. Here comes the cuddle monster." Stewie said as he climb into the bed and he sleeps on top of Lois belly.

"Oh, Lois, your breasts are great. Well, good morning, Mr. Nipple. Hey, there. Must be cold in here. What do you say we move south a little bit? There we go. Oh, you are so ready." Peter said, while half-asleep, and uses his finger to probe around Stewie's mouth, mistaking it for Lois's nipple.

Now we join the family eating breakfast together as Lois finds out some terrible news.

"Peter, you're going to sue Dr. Hartman?" Lois said as she is entirely unsupportive of Peter's ambition

"You can't do that, all he did was give you a prostate exam." Frank explain to him that he can't sue since the doctor just gave him a prostate exam.

"Are you saying I asked for this to happen?" Peter asked him that he asked for this to happened.

"You know, Dad, there's this lawyer at the mall who says he'll take any case, no matter how frivolous." Meg explain to her father about a lawyer at the mall who says he'll take any case, no matter how frivolous.

"Yeah, yeah..." Peter said as he listens to his daughter about getting a lawyer.

"And...and they also have an Orange Julius." Chris said something about Orange Julius.

Everyone pause and look at Chris in confusion while he made fart noises.

"Just...just trying to keep the conversation going." Chris said as he is trying to keep the conversation going.

"Well, whatever happens, I'm not going to stand for this. Too many people get away with injustice. Like the folks you meetin those Louisiana swamps." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about too many people get away with injustice. Like the folks you meetin those Louisiana swamps

Cutaway

An African American man is paddling on a boat where he sees Kermit the Frog with a rifle.

"Excuse me, do you know how to get to town?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's back the way you came" Kermit the Frog answered as he readied his weapon.

Cutaway Ends

Now we join Lois and stewie hang out in the kitchen.

"I love you, Lois. You know that, right? Just in case, I'll say it again. I love you." Stewie said as he was lving lois a lot more than he was before.

As John, Tyler and Frank Jr roll their eyes and Emily just giggle.

"Oh, you are just so cute, sweetie. Look at that little foot. I'm gonna eat that foot." Lois said as she thinks it's cute and she pretend to eat stewie's foot.

As Stewie laughs by her jester.

"Give me that foot. It looks delicious." Lois said as she continued her jester.

"Don't eat my foot. Oh, God. Oh, it is so hard to find funny women, and you are hilarious. Oh, you're like a female Bonnie Hunt!" Stewie said as he compare Lois to a female Bonnie hunt.

"Sit right there, honey. Mommy will go get Rupert so he can eat with you." Lois said as she puts stewie on his high chair.

"Oh, God. Thoughtful." Stewie said as he thinks that she is thoughtful.

Until Brian chimes into the kitchen and the boys relax.

"Hey, Lois. I made coffee if you want some." Brian said as he made coffee for everybody.

"Oh, thank you, Brian. That'd be nice." Lois said her thanks and stewie just get piss off.

"Uh, hey, Brian, I've got a favor to ask. Could you, uh, could you not talk to Lois anymore?" Stewie said as he tells Brian to not talk to Lois anymore.

"What?" Brian said in shocked while John and Tyler just face palm.

"You know, it's just that I'm...I'm tired of you hitting on her, that's all. That's, I mean, it's not cool." Stewie said as he explain Brian attempt on hitting her is pathetic.

"I was just making coffee, I didn't hit on her. Besides, Lois is my friend. I'll do whatever the hell I want." Brian explain that he just made coffee and Lois is he friend and he can do whatever he wants.

"Oh great, they are arguing!" John said as he tells Tyler that Brian and stewie are arguing again. While he drinks coffee and Tyler eat some waffles.

"Mmhmm!" Tyler said as he chew his waffles.

"I'm asking you nicely Brian, stop hitting on her." Stewie said in a calm tone.

"That's ridiculous! I mean, just because you're a little mama's boy now it means you're monopolising all her time so nobody else can get a shot at her? You know what? Fine. Just a little, I DO hit on Lois!" Brian said as he argues with him.

"I see the way you look at her! I see it! And it's gonna stop! Lois is my queen now! And listen you!" Stewie said right back as they agrue until they notice someone was talking in Spanish.

"Te mato perro feo. ¿Me entiendes estúpido? ¡Tu eres un imbecil, te odio! odio!" Frank Jr said something in Spanish

"And another...what?" Brian said in confusion.

"Sorry, Frank Jr fell asleep watching Sábado Gigante last night." Stewie said as he set ups a cutaway about Frank Jr fell asleep watching Sábado Gigante last night.

Cutaway

The scene shifts to a Mexican TV show called Sabado Gigante where a girl laughs.

"Chiste grande" she said as a guy in a Mexican suit smiles while a BOING sound is made as the camera shifts to his face.

Cutaway Ends

Now we join Lois and stewie walk toward his and Frank Jr room.

"Lois, you know what we should do? We should play restaurant with my Play-Doh. I'll make you a hamburger. Perhaps I'll make it blue. Oh, can you imagine such a world?" Stewie said as he talk to lois about what they can play with.

"Stewie, I love you, but you're wearing Mommy out. Now, it's time for bed." Lois reply to her son that she is tired.

"Hey, Lois, I have a secret for you." Stewie reply as he has a secret to tell

As Stewie whispers in Lois' ear.

"You're awesome." Stewie rely in her ear that she is awesome.

Peter Griffin watches the news on his tv in the griffin bed room.

"Our top story, a local woman loses her sex drive after a $125 dinner at Alfredo's." Tom Tucker said about a local woaman loses her sex drive after a $125 dinner at Alfredo's.

"But first, in medical news, Dr. Elmer Hartman, beloved family doctor to all of Quahog, is the target of a molestation lawsuit." Diane Simmons repots that Dr. Hartman, beloved family doctor to all of Quahog, is the target of a molestation lawsuit.

"The trial is set to begin tomorrow. We now return you to Native American What's Happening!." Tom Tucker said that the trial starts tomorrow and they now return you to Native American What's Happening!.

As the scene show Native Americans versions of What's Happening.

"Hey, Rerun, you see Dwayne?" Raj asked rerun on where is Dwayne.

"Not today. Oh, here he come." Rerun said that hasn't seen him today until now.

"How, how, how." Dwayne said hello to his friends.

Now back to the Griffin bed room as Lois comes in and she look exhausted.

"Peter, I don't know how much more I can take. Stewie used to be so independent, but now he clings to me night and day. I'm exhausted." Lois said as she complain about stewie cling to her all the time.

"Oh, look at me. "I'm Lois. The sun revolves around me." I'm the one going to court tomorrow." Peter said as he mocks her and turns all on himself like a bitch.

"Peter, Isn't there anything I can do to talk you out of this lawsuit?" Lois said as she unsuccessfully tries to talk him out of it.

"Hey, I was violated sexually and that man is gonna pay." Peter replys that he was violated sexually and he is going to make the doctor pat for it.

This just made Lois roll her eyes.

"And I suppose it wouldn't matter if I told you for the 50th time that it's a legitimate medical procedure to test for cancer?" Lois tries to explain to him that it's a legitimate medical procedure to test for cancer.

"Lois!" Stewie Griffin calls her name.

As Lois sighs as she relaxes on her side of the bed when stewie enter the bedroom as he is near Lois's side of the bed.

"Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!" Stewie call out to her but she was tried until she snaps.

"WHAT!?" Lois Griffin shouted in anger.

"Hi." Stewie Griffin said as he giggles and runs away with glee.

Now we join everyone at the courthouse as the trial occurs,

"Is it not true that you went to see Dr. Hartman for a simple prostate exam?" lawyer asked peter that if he did see Dr. Hartman for a simple prostate exam.

"No, I went for a flu shot. At first, I thought he was nice and that he was kind of handsome. I trusted him and then, he told me to bend over." Peter said as je flashback to the time went to the doctor.

As the scene show doctor Hartman get his hand ready while peter was naked in black and white.

"And then, I just felt like something was wrong." Peter said as he felt something was with the doctor.

But it was all wrong as it was black and white, it shows him being kissed by an evil Dr. Hartman.

"I tried to get him to stop, but he kept saying, "Relax, I'm a doctor." Peter unintentionally exaggerates the story to make it seem worse

"This is ridiculous, that never happened." Hartman is outraged and tries to convince the judge it was a standard exam,

However, Peter tells the judge to imagine the experience in the same light as his own story, after which Hartman is declared guilty and has his license revoked.

"Sit down, you rapist!" Frank Jr shouted on top of the judge's head.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm supposed to wait until I've heard everything. Go ahead, Mr. Griffin." Judge Dignified Q. Blackman said as his apologies to the people as he has to wait until he has heard everything.

"And that's when things got bad." Peter reply as he continues flashbacking.

As the scene show the doctor was a bit grabby and he then pushed peter into a pinball machine.

"He made me feel so dirty." Peter said in whining tone.

As the flashback continues.

"Relax... I'm a !" Doctor Hartman said in the flashback as he look so evil while a circus was his background and then show him riding the merry go round.

Now back to the courtroom as Dr. Hartman was getting piss off.

"Your Honor, I can't believe you're even listening to this. For God's sake, you're a patient of mine. I gave you a prostate exam last year, don't you remember?" Dr. Hartman saying that he gave him one not too long ago.

"Come to think of it, I remember it as a pretty standard exam." Judge Dignified Q. Blackman said in agreement with the doctor until Frank Jr Butt in.

"Are you sure, Judge? Are you sure it wasn't all evil and grainy and black and white? Think about it." Frank Jr asked the judge if he was sure about that.

As Judge Dignified Q. Blackman flashback into a pirate ship with doctor Hartman.

"Relax. I be a doctor." Dr. Hartman said echoing as he is dress like a pirate.

As it show him trying to kiss the judges while the judge tires to fight back.

"Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty! Dr. Hartman, your medical license is hereby revoked." Judge said in fear as he want to get away from the doctor as possible.

"That's outrageous!" Dr. Hartman said in anger.

"God, I've looked forward to this moment more than the second coming of Jesus." Frank Jr said as he sets up a cutaway about Jesus Christ.

Cutaway

We see a really tine Jesus Christ talking to people at a park.

"Okay, everybody, uh, I know you were expecting something else, but as science will tell you, people were a lot shorter 2,000 years ago. So let's try to be adult about this. Uh, no snickering and... Hey! That's exactly what I'm talking about. Okay, so if we can all be mature... give me the gum, we can all get through this a lot faster" Jesus Christ explained.

Cutaway Ends

We now join Lois is entering the basement holding Stewie

"I have so much fun when we hang out, Lois. And I love your hair. We should make up a name for your hair color. We could call it, like, like, "Strawberry Sunset" or "Ginger Maiden". Or one of those hair-color names that's a random noun like, "Temptress"." Stewie talk to her about her hair and how he loves it.

As Lois turns on the Washer

"Gasp, Oooh oooh! At some point you have to let me braid it!" Stewie said as he gasps as he want to braid her hair.

As Lois places Stewie into the washing machine

"Lois, what are you doing!?" Stewie asked her on why she is putting him inside the washing machine

As Lois repeatedly slams the lid on Stewie, and then shuts it

"Ahhhhhh!" Stewie muffled scream while the machine was drowning him.

Suddenly, Lois wakes up from what was just a bad dream and Emily run towards her to see if she was alright.

"Oh my god. Oh my god, what's happening to me? I'm like that Texas woman who gave her son brain damage by holding him under water." Lois said breathing heavily

"(Gasps) you're just like Barbara Bush!" Emily said about Lois being compared too.

Horrified by her bad dream, Lois turns to Brian for guidance.

"Brian, what kind of a mother has homicidal thoughts about her own baby? I'm a horrible person." Lois explain what she dream about to Brian.

"Lois, you're just exhausted. Somehow you've got to break Stewie of this new overdependence on you." Brian suggests that she needs to break off Stewie's over dependence on her by spending less time with him and paying no attention whenever he calls for attention, no matter how badly.

"Well, it's worth a try." Lois said as she agrees to put his plan into action.

"Lois, I've got a surprise for you. You and I are going to see Eddie Money! Two tickets, won them on the radio. We're gonna have a ball." Stewie said as he has got a surprise for Lois. They are going to see Eddie Money.

"He's like a totally different person, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Sulu." Brian said as he sets up cutaway about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Sulu.

Cutaway

We see Dr. Jekyll shaking as he transforms into Mr. Sulu from Star Trek.

"Oh, no, I never should have drank those chemicals. Hello" Mr. Sulu said as he spots a man.

Cutaway Ends

As we join Peter declares himself victorious in the name of all anuses and goes to celebrate with his friends at The Drunken Clam,

Peter, congratulations on taking down that monster Dr. Hartman. Cleveland congratulates him for taking down Dr. Hartman.

Yeah, what'd you do with your pain and suffering money?

I got collagen. Peter explain as he set up a cutaway about himself using collagen.

Cutaway

We join Lois in the kitchen clean the dishes until peter caller her and she see his puffy lips.

"Hey, Lois, want to make out? Yeah, what do you think of new sexy lips Peter? Yeah. This is your life from now on. Enjoy it, lucky wife." Peter said as he explain about how much Lois will love his new lips of his.

But she is indifferent toward him.

Cutaway End.

Now back to the clam with peter and the gang.

"I tell you, boys, this is a victory not just for my anus but for anuses... Oh, hang on, I got to go pee." Peter said until he has to go to the bathroom all suddenly.

"That's a lot better. So, anyway, this is a... Oh, I got to take a leak." Peter said until he has to go to the bathroom again.

"There we go. Oh, pee time." Peter said but as he begins to go to the bathroom frequently, which causes great concern amongst the others;

"Peter, you're urinating unusually frequently." Joe asked him on why he goes pee all suddenly.

"Yeah, what gives?" Quagmire asked him on why he does it.

That's when Seamus came in through the shadows all suddenly.

"If it's gale-force peeing ye be doin' it could mean you've got barnacles on your prostate. Best have sick bay check below your decks." Seamus said to Peter as to inform him that his prostate may be infected.

"Wait a minute. A-are you telling me I need a prostate exam?" Peter said in shocked that he now need to see a doctor,

"Aye. And soon before your rudder jams with flotsam and you're dropping anchor without an order from the captain. How are you liking all these nautical puns?" Seamus said to Peter as he makes him finally understands that a prostate exam is a medical procedure and not a criminal offense. He then asked the gang about his puns.

"Cute. Zeke said that it was cute.

"Not bad." Negi said it was not bad on these nautical puns.

"Somewhat entertaining." Menma said as he thinks this is somewhat entertaining

"My god, I'd better see a doctor!" Peter said as He tries to go and see a doctor.

"But no doctor in town will see you after that lawsuit." Joe said as he and his friends point out that no doctor would dare go near Peter after the lawsuit.

"Well, then we'll just find a doctor out of town." Frank said as he think of one doctor he know to help his father in-law.

We now join Frank Mallque and Peter Griffin in a high-tech room.

"Listen, uh, I know I'm not a regular patient but I think I have some trouble with my prostate. So can you help me out, Dr. McCoy?" Peter asked him to check his prostate.

"What, so you can sue me too?" McCoy said as He refuses to help Peter Griffin with his prostate problem because he is afraid to be sued after Peter's lawsuit against Dr. Hartman

"Oh come on, it'll only take a sec." Peter asked him to just look at his butthole.

"Forget it. I'm a doctor, not a patsy." McCoy said no as he still refused him.

As Mr. Sulu walking past them and he look at peter's butt.

"Hello-o." Mr. Sulu said hello to peter's butt.

Now we join Lois and stewie at the Mallque/Griffin House at night as it was bedtime.

"Lois, what are you doing? I want to sleep in your bed." Stewie asked on why he is not sleep in her room.

"Good night, honey. I love you. This is for your own good." Lois said as she put Brian's plan into action when she put stewie to sleep in his own room.

"Lois, wh...wh...where are you going? Lois? Lois? Lois, answer me." Stewie kept asking her on where is she going and he asked her to answer him.

As Lois close the door. Stewie freaks out.

"DAMN YOU! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED! GET BACK IN HERE! GET BACK IN HERE AND LOVE ME!" Stewie Griffin Screams for her to love him.

"LLLOOOOIIIIISSSSSS!" Stewie Griffin shouted her name as he reacts negatively to upon noticing it. As he takes out a gun and start shooting the room.

Now we join Lois, John, Tyler, Frank Jr and Brian outside the bedroom door.

"Maybe I should go in. He's so upset." Lois said as she think this was a bad idea.

"He's just being melodramatic." Frank Jr said to Lois about stewie being melodramatic.

"You've gotta ignore it if you want to help him." Brian explain that she got ignore it if she want to help stewie.

Until she notice Brian doing something.

"Are you flexing?" Lois asked Brian that he is flexing.

"What? Me? No. Why would I be flexing? I mean, I have sort of been hitting the gym, so if you wanted to see how it's going... GA-DOOGE!" Brian said as he tries to ignore what she said until he finally flexes in front of the family.

"Oh, Brian you big ham!" Emily said off screen.

Now we join Frank, peter and Seamus at the drunken clam.

"What am I going to do, Frank and Seamus? Dr. Hartman is my only hope, and there's no way he's going to see me." Peter said as he finally understands that a prostate exam is a medical procedure and not a criminal offense.

"Well, you best come up with something, Peter. Otherwise, this will happen to your prostate." Seamus said as he takes out a slide of a diseased prostate.

"You just, uh, carry a picture of a diseased prostate around with you?" Frank asked him on why he carry a picture of a diseased prostate around his arms.

"Never know when it's going to come up in conversation and then, who's the one who's prepared?" Seamus explain that he never know when it's going to come up in conversation and then, who's the one who's prepared.

"I've also got a map of Middle Earth, a cat doing a pull-up, and the guys from Primus." Seamus said as he takes out slide off a map of Middle Earth, a cat doing a pull-up, and the guys from Primus.

As Frank nodded in agreement.

"These poster jokes doing anything for you?" Seamus asked him if these poster jokes doing anything for them.

"Eh, hit and miss." Frank reply hit and a miss.

"We should hang out more." Seamus asked him to hang out with him more.

Now back at the house in the bathroom as he feeling desperate for him mother attention.

I need her love. I need her love and she's ignoring me. Well, let's see her try to ignore this. Lois, help! I ate this whole jar of pills that look like candy and now I feel sick. Stewie said as he tries to feign his own death to attract Lois.

You look like a jackass. John

Stewie Griffin: Can't hear you, John and Tyler. I'm dead.

All right. Tyler said as he take a towel and puts it inside the toilet.

Then john flushes and they leave it cloud and stewie doesn't know what. they did.

"What did you do? Oh, that is so not cool." Stewie asked on what they did until he felt the water on the floor.

But all his attempts are promptly brushed aside. When Stewie goes to confront Lois about this

"Mommy! I'm dying! I'm dying! I said I'm dying! Hey! I'm dying up here! What is this, a Tommy Lee pool party? Come on, Lois." Stewie said as he tries to call her out however, he accidentally trips and falls down the stairs, breaking his arm.

"Get with... Aargh! [sobs] Oww!" Stewie said as he cries in pain from breaking his arm.

As Lois, who was present at the time, is unable to bear the sight of her baby in so much pain and rushes to his aid.

"Gasp] Oh, my God, Stewie! Are you all right? Oh, my sweet baby. And to think I ignored your cries for attention. I'm so sorry, honey. Never again, Stewie. I'm gonna give you all the love could ever want." Lois said as she apologizing profusely about her attitude.

"Forget it, you swag-bellied measle! You had your chance and you blew it. Well now, you're too late. I hope they charge you with child abuse for my broken arm. I'll testify against you, just like I did against Michael Jackson." Stewie said as he is so disgusted by her behavior that he coldly rejects her love, returning to his old, matricidal, evil self.

Cutaway

We see Stewie in court with people against Michael Jackson.

"Stewie, did Mr. Jackson behave inappropriately toward you?" his lawyer questioned.

"Well, yes, but the worst part was he never called back" Stewie explained as everyone laughed. "No, but in all seriousness, yeah, he was actually pretty aggressive."

Cutaway Ends

As Five months later as stewie kept his word on make his mother feel like trash.

"Stewie! Did you scratch my car when you and John drove it last?" Lois asks what happened to her car when John and He drove drove it.

"Um...no, mom. It was just that really quick tornado that blew through. Sorry." He replies saying a quick tornado flew by and scratched the paint job.

"Okay, honey." Lois reply from the hall.

"I can't believe you lied to your mom on Mother's Day." John said as he is disappointed with Stewie.

"Yeah, man, it's the one day you have to tell her the truth about all the stuff you did that you never told her." Tyler tell Stewie he has to tell the truth and not to lie about it.

"What do you mean? What?" Stewie asked them about his lie.

"Come on, man. It's the Mother's Day Rule." Frank Jr said as it's the mother day rule.

Frank Jr

Hey, Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
and not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
and nine months later I burst out of your womb

Chris

I remember when I was eight my life was going great
my sister loved Snapple there was no debate
I thought it would be funny to play a sweet prank
take the plastic off the cap And put it in her drink (ha ha) and when she sipped it I saw her start to choke
I couldn't foresee it'd get caught in her throat
Her birthday was ruined because of my stupid mistake
She never drank Snapple again and I got all her cake

Thanks, Mom, for stepping up and saving the day (you rock)
I didn't want to have to find out this way (love you)
Hey, Mom, I did something that wasn't that cool
so now I gotta follow that Mother's Day Rule

Frank Jr

Hey, Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
and not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
and nine months later I burst out of your womb

Persephone

And when I was fifteen I messed up again
trying to impress some Boys with my friends
See, I understand the hotties and here was the scoop:
hot Boys can't resist the sight Of burning poop (ha ha)

So I found a dog lured him up the steps
tried to feed him X-Lax but he wouldn't ingest
but I didn't stress out I just dealt with the glitches
I knew what I had to do to impress these bitches (*whistle*)

But the fire kept spreading it wouldn't stay put
so my mama had to step the crap out with her foot
Hey, Mom, I did something that wasn't that cool
so now I gotta follow that Mother's Day Rule

Frank Jr, John and Tyler

Hey, Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
and not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
and nine months later I burst out of your womb

Frank Jr

Hey, Mom!

John and Tyler

(Do doo doo do doo doo do doo)

Frank Jr
you're the bomb!

John and Tyler

(Do doo doo do doo doo do doo)

Frank Jr
Hey, Mom!

John and Tyler

(Do doo doo do doo doo do doo)

Frank Jr
You're the bomb!

John and Tyler

(do doo doo do doo doo do doo)

John and Tyler Sorry we hid so many things from you

Frank Jr (years ago)

John and Tyler but here's a couple other things you probably

Frank Jr (should know)

John
I watched porn on the computer and I told you

Frank Jr (I never did)

Tyler put a sandwich in the VCR When I was

Frank Jr (a little kid)

John
I punched a hole in the wall and I hid it with a

Frank Jr (Mother flipping poster)

Tyler
tried to cook a pizza in the mother flipping toaster
threw a big ass party time

Frank Jr (you were away)

John
Lied to a hot girl and told her

Frank Jr (I was gay)

Tyler
and my fish might have died because I overfed it.

Stewie
and I might have done some stuff with a girl in your bed, yeah

Just before the musical number ends, Stewie says he might have done some things with his girlfriend in his mother's bed.

"Wait, what'd you do in your mom's bed?" Frank Jr asks what he did.

"Uh, nothing. Just, uh, forget about that little part." Stewie tries to deny what he said.

As Tyler gets squeamish and Emily becomes very disgusted with what Stewie had done.

"Sorry 'bout your bed, mom. Happy Mother Day!" Stewie said as his apologies.

Now we join peter dress like an ups man as he delivers a package to a person at his house. Inside the house was Dr. Hartman, who was watching tv until he heard the doorbell ring.

"Uh, package for Dr. Hartman." Peter said as he tell Dr. Hartman that he has a packaged.

"Alright, where's the package?" Dr. Hartman asked him on where is his package.

"Here it is. Uh, so, why don't you go ahead and open it up, and reach on in there? It's probably cookies or something." Peter Griffin said as he put the packed tape to his butt for a quickie prostate exam.

As Dr. Hartman starts to reach for the package, but stops. As he realized that something is wrong.

"Wait a minute, there's something strange about this. I wasn't expecting any package. Who are you? Griffin!" Dr. Hartman asked who he is until he unmasked him and who would be none too elated to see him.

"You gotta help me, Dr. Hartman. I think there may actually be something wrong with my prostate!" Peter begs Dr. Hartman to check his butt as he running out of hope.

Well, don't look at me. I lost my license thanks to you. Dr. Hartman rely as he can't help him thanks to peter.

That's when Frank and Frank Jr came in.

"Look, we...we know what pop did was wrong. But, you're the only one he can turn to. So, we're asking you. As a men with no more options... will you take a look inside pop's ass? Frank said as he apologies to the doctor for what his father did and beg him to check his prostate.

This made the doctor think about what Frank said and he signs.

"Despite everything that's happened, I suppose I can't ignore my Hippocratic Oath. Alright, drop your pants." Dr. Hartman decides to run the procedure anyway.

As Peter pulls his pants and underpants down. Dr. Hartman puts on a rubber glove.

Oh, well this is nothing. Just a little swelling. Probably a minor infection. Looks like there's some blockage. What the devil is that? Dr. Hartman said as he notice that peter's prosate was a little swelling, Probably a minor infection. Looks like there's some blockage.

Until he notice that there was something inside Peter's butt.

"Hello..." Mr. Sulu said as he was inside peter's butt.

This cause the Frank's to face slap themselves as the scen fades to back.

Now we join the Mallque's/Peter with Dr. Hartman at the quahog courthouse, After getting his prostate examined and treated, Peter and Hartman go to get his license reinstated, and they put the whole ordeal behind them.

"Dr. Hartman, your license is hereby reinstated." Judge said as he hit his gavel and he gave Dr. Hartman back his license.

"Oh, I'm so glad you two worked things out." Lois said she is glad that peter and Dr. Hartman worked things out.

"And to think I actually thought you raped me." Peter Griffin said that he thought that's dr. hartman was gonna rape him.

"Well, I was going to, but you ran out of the room!" Dr. Hartman reply yes but he ran out of the room before he could.

"What?!" Peter Griffin said in confusion.

"Ehhhhhhhhhhh!" Dr. Hartman said as he point his fingers like his buddy.

"Ehhhhhhhhhhh!" Peter Griffin said as he points back his fingers right back at him.

"Oh Dr. Hartman, you cad!" John and Tyler reply as they get the joke.

"What?" Frank said in confusion by the joke as Emily face palms herself from Frank's confusion.

As the scene fades to black.

"Family Guy MC was recorded on tape before a live audience."Frank Jr reply off-screen.

The end credits are an animated replication of the All in the Family end credits shot sequence, complete with the use of the actual All in the Family closing theme and scrolling credits in the show's font.

Chapter ended

Well that's the first chapter of season 5, I hope you guys enjoy it. This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for the cutaway, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. See you next chapter my friends.