Chapter 86 - Prick Up Your Ears

As the scene show Frank Mallque Jr getting out of the refrigerator with a bag of peas on his head.

Frank Jr

I rock peas on my head,
but don't call me a pea head

Then next scene shows Peter Griffin with lots of bees on his head as the bees cover his hair like an afro.

Peter

Bees on my head
but don't call me a bee head

The next scene show John with a tiny Bruce lee figure on his head while the scene zoom out to show him doing a karate pose.

John

Bruce lee's on my head
but don't call me a lee head

Then next scene show Frank, Peter and Frank Jr in the Griffin bedroom as Frank is feed a bonsie tree with a milk bottle.

Frank, Peter and Frank Jr

Now excuse me please
we got's to get my tree fed

Then next scene shows the Griffin girls standing together as random scene pass by them and then it show Persephone using a sewing machine to make her own clothing

Meg, Persephone and Emily

You wear name brands
and I make my own clothing

Then the next scene shows Stewie with Brian on his lap with him having a loathing face.

Stewie

I hang out with an Dog
who loves self-loathing

"I hate myself!" Brian said at the people.

The next scene show Peter make pancakes until he puts on his face.

Peter

Pancake on my face makes me extra happy

Then next scene show Tyler with a shampoo bottle on his lap as he rubs like a baby.

Tyler

I like shampoo bottles that sit on my lappy

Then the scene show Frank telling the audience that they can't tell him what to do while a cartoon tells him to dance like a monkey. Then he has a lemon throw at him but used it in his beef stew.

Frank

Cuz it's my show you can't tell us whatta do
when life hands me lemons I make beef stew

Then the scene show the family wear burglar masks while they are rocking on a rocking chair couch. Then it show Peter putting a bologna in his left pocket while Lois put cream cheese in Frank's gold locket

Frank

So yo we gotta go it's time for us to rock it
Peter put bologna in his left pocket
Lois just smear some cream cheese in my gold locket

As the scene show Frank talking to the audience that it's his show. Then again with Frank with Frank Jr dancing behind him

Frank and Frank Jr

Cuz it's my show I'm Frank George Mallque
it's my show I'm shmanky jeews shmallques
it's my show I'm
Frank George Mallque.

As the scene ends with Frank Jr and Frank wearing hoody's while holding a sign that said Family Guy Mallque Chronicles Season 5 and it fade to black.

We join Mayor Adam west as he watch TV in his mansion in his living room.

We now return to Rodney King of Queens. Announcer guy said as this show is a parody of the CBS sitcom The King of Queens and the infamous beating.

"Rodney, did you take out the trash?" The brunette asked him if he take out the trash.

"Um, I forgot." Rodney King said in distracting tone.

This cause the brunette to give him his famous beating.

Now back to Adam west as he is laughing his ball off by that beating.

"Oh, no she di-in't." Adam West said while he laughs until he herd the doorbell.

He answers the door and it revels the pizza delivery guy.

"Pizza for Adam West." The pizza delivery guy said as he deliver Adam's pizza.

When Adam west open the box it reveal that the pizza had something that he didn't like.

"You gave me Canadian bacon instead of bacon?! This misdeed cannot go unpunished. Pizza delivery man, prepare to meet your maker at the hands of my cat launcher." Adam West said as he was gonna punished the pizza guy with his own cat launcher.

As Mayor Adam West pursues a pizza delivery man with his cat launcher; a crossbow that employs his cats as projectiles, launching one cat through the window of an adult video store.

That's when Chris and his friends walk by and notice the window of the adult video store was broken.

"Hey, look, somebody tried to break into the dirty movie store." Chris said as he and his friends believe that someone has broken in to the dirty movie store.

"Quick, grab as many as you can before someone sees us." Chris friend said as they go in and steal armfuls of videos.

As Adam west come back all tired and he lost the pizza guy.

"Damn, I lost him.' Adam west said as he whistle for his cat to come back.

"All right, cats, back in the bag. Come on, Fluffy. Come on, Mittens. Come on, Paul. What a ridiculous name for a cat. Paul! That's a person's name. A person's name. Hahahaha, Oh, Paul." Adam west said as he put his cat away by name until he reach Paul and laughs at the name of his cat.

Now back to the Mallque/Griffin house as the boy plus John and Tyler going in to watch some dirty movies.

"Oh, man, this is going to be great." John said

Oh, are we watching a movie? Stewie said as he come by to sit and watch the movie with him.

Um, guys, stewie shouldn't be here to watch this. Tyler said as he warns his friend and Chris about having him here to watch the porno.

"Shhhh! It starting Tyler." John said as he shush him.

As the porn starts with a blonde model with two doctors in their office.

"The lab results are back. You've tested positive for nymphomania." The first doctor said to the hot blonde in pink bikini.

"Oh, no, what should I do?" The hot blonde in pink bikini asked them on what should she do to get rid of this nymphomania.

"Take two of these and call us in the morning." The second doctor said as he and the other doctor unzipped their pants.

Now back to the gang in Chris room.

"Oh, now that's not going to help her nymphomania. It's only going to exacerbate it." Stewie explain that the doctors having sex with her will not help her nymphomania, it's only going to exacerbate it.

That's when Lois came into the room when she saw something that was inappropriate.

"Oh, my God, what are you kids doing? Out. Everybody out." Lois said as she take out the tape and kick out everybody out of the room.

"Aaaah!" the boys all groaning as they all leave the room with stewie.

"That's bogus." Stewie reply in sad tone.

As it leave Chris and Lois in the room.

"Chris, what is this?" Lois asked on what the name of this tape and why is he and his friends watch it.

"Genital Hospital." Chris answer the name of the tape.

"Yes, and it's inappropriate for someone your age also you have kids and two are coming along the way. Now, if you're curious about sex, you should talk to your sex Ed teacher." Lois said as she give the roll on sex education.

"We don't have one. The principal cut sex Ed class to save money." Chris reply as Lois finds out there's no sex-ed teacher at his school cause of budget cuts.

She freak out about this news.

"What? Well, that's crazy. Without sex Ed, kids can wind up sexually confused. Just look at Michael Jackson." Lois said as she put a cutaway about kids can wind up sexually confused like Michael Jackson.

Cutaway

As the scene show a young Michael Jackson as a kid and still black.

"The kid in me likes the frosted side" young Michael Jackson said.

Then he turn to his older yet creepy white self.

"But the grown-up in me likes the kid in me" older Michael Jackson added.

Cutaway Ends

Now we join Lois going inside her bedroom with peter and Frank Jr watching TV.

"Peter, do you know they're not teaching sex Ed at Chris' school?" Lois asked peter if he knew about the school not teaching sex Ed.

That's when Frank and Meg came by after hear Lois shouting.

"Eh, let them figure it out the way I had to." Frank said as he feel that the kids need to figure things out on their own.

"With a can of Crisco and a shot glass. That's the natural way, Lois." Peter said as he explain that the kids need a can of Crisco and a shot glass because it's the natural way.

"That's the natural way." Peter and Frank said together the last part in union Sen.

"Well, somebody's got to step in. Tomorrow, I'm going down to James Woods High and offer to teach the class myself." Lois said as she decides to volunteers for the job.

"Hey, you could really make a difference, Mom." Meg said as she agrees with her answer.

As Frank nodded in agreement, while he pick up Frank Jr since he fell asleep.

"Like I did when I taught money management to those drug addicts." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about him teaching money management to drug addicts.

Cutaway

As the scene shows peter giving advice to drug addicts.

"There's a lot of ways for you guys to save money. For example, you're all shooting up, why not share needles? That's a no-brainer. More money in your wallet, more drugs in your veins. My second piece of advice: have as many kids as you can, 'cause that makes it more likely that one of those kids will grow up and make it big in Hollywood. Then who's paying the bills, eh? Hollywood kid. Class dismissed" Peter said as he was teaching a class for drug addicts.

Cutaway Ends

Now we join Lois at James woods high school teach the student about sex Ed.

"Good morning, everyone. I'm Mrs. Griffin, your new sex ed teacher. Now, you've probably heard all those rumors that condoms make sex less pleasurable. While that is a fact, they also make sex safer.' Lois said as she explains about her being the teacher and about sex safety.

That until Peter and Frank busted in teacher clothing plus suitcases.

"Sorry I'm late, Lois." Peter said to Lois about him being late.

"Peter, what are you doing here?" Lois asking peter on why and Frank are here in class also why are they interrupted her lesson.

"Lois, you think I'm going to miss a chance to share my knowledge with these fresh young minds? Forget it, I've missed too many other opportunities." Peter explains that he not gonna miss a chance to share his knowledge with these fresh young minds like he did in the cutaway.

Cutaway

Everything is set via Tetris.

"There he is." Pink Tetris said

"Took you long enough." Yellow Tetris said

"Just what we need." Green Tetris said

"Hey, guys, I'm coming in" Peter enters as he stupidly places himself of top of a Tetris piece.

"Oh, God. Oh, God." Green Tetris said as he was disappointed.

"Oh, boy. I am not going to hear the end of this" Peter complained.

"You jackass." Pink Tetris said as he was piss off.

"Now you've done it." Yellow Tetris said in agreement.

"Idiot." Green Tetris said as he called peter an idiot.

"I know I don't fit here, but I'm just going to settle right in" Bruce appears as a Tetris piece.

Cutaway Ends

Now back to the class with Peter, Frank and Lois.

"All right, Peter and Frank, you two can stay, but remember, this is my class." Lois said as the boys nodded in agreement.

"Now, there are a number of natural ways that males and females interact." Lois explains about the number of natural ways that males and females interact.

That's until peter interrupts her speech.

"That's right, allow me to demonstrate." Peter said as he takes out a rainbow brite and a bust of Shakespeare out of his suitcase.

"Hey, Rainbow Brite. Hello, Shakespeare. I am all done writing plays for the day, perhaps we could have sexual intercourse? Count me in." peter said as he smash them together to simulate them having sex which nobody gets in the classroom.

As Lois look at her nails as Mr. Frank G Mallque take over the class. As he draws all virginal pic on the chalkboard.

"Reproduction. It's very simple, but yet very important. Now, what is the best time of the month for a woman to conceive? Mr...Watts." Frank says to the class about Reproduction as he turn to a student.

"What's 'conceive'?" Tyler asks his teacher on the word.

"Well you know, to be fertile. What's the best time?" Frank asks Tyler on what's the best time to be fertile.

"Ask John." Tyler smirks as he pass it to his friend

As John lifts his head as he was looking at a magazine.

" ?" Frank asks him about reproduction.

"Ask Springfield." John says as he pass the question to Negi Springfield who is the smarts of their group.

"Mr. Springfield?" Frank asks negi about reproduction.

"Ask Maverick." Negi says as he pass the question Zeke maverick.

"Mr. Maverick?" Frank asks Zeke about Reproduction.

"What?" Zeke asks on is he talking about since he wasn't listening.

"Conceive. What is the best time?" Frank asks about Conceive and when is the best time.

"At night?" zeke said as he grin with his friend and the boys laugh.

As Meg and the girls grin by that joke.

"I can see that we're not getting far." Frank says

As Persephone grins by that statement.

"I got the same problem." Persephone said as she gets frank embarrassed.

As Ms. Mason comes in the class to say hello.

"Morning, everybody." Ms. Mason reply to the class.

"Good morning." Everyone reply to her responses

"Good morning, Mr. Mallque." She says hello to Frank while passing her papers as he nodded to her response.

"Let's start at the beginning. Page one." Frank said to the class to open their books to page 1.

"Open your book." Ms. Mason says to the boys to open their books.

As the gang did what she said and open their book.

"Where do babies come from?" Frank asked the class about where babies come from.

"If you need me, l'll be right over here." Ms. Mason said as she take her seat in the back with a sexual tone.

As Frank sings the reproduction song from grease 2

Frank *the parts of a flower are so constructed that very, very often the wind will cause pollination. If not, then a bee or any other nectar-gathering creature can create the same situation. Yes, anything that gets the pollen to the pistil's right on the list. I'll try to make it crystal clear, a flower's insatiable passion turns its life into a circus of debauchery.

As the class starts getting into the mood to dance as they hear the music.

Frank Now you see just how the stamen gets its lusty dust on to the stigma. And why this frenzied achlorophyllous orgy starts each spring is no enigma. We call this quest for satisfaction a what, class?*

"A photoperiodic reaction." The Griffin twins answer the question.

"Oh, that's good that's very good" Frank said as he give them a thumbs up.

"Hey, l'm lost. Where are we?" john asked his friends about where are they on the book on this class.

"Chapter two." Tyler reply the chapter name.

"Page five." Negi said the page number of the chapter

The Boys and Girls *Reproduction. Reproduction.

As patty, one of Meg and Persephone closes friends, moves her hand in sexual motion while turn on the boys in the class.

Patty Put your pollen tube to work.

The Boys and Girls Reproduction. Reproduction.

That's when Ruth Cochamer, another of the griffin twins friend take the stage, as she dances sexually while adding more boys to the horny list.

Ruth Cochamer Make my stamen go berserk.

The Boys and Girls Reproduction.

That's when Connie D'Amico, the most popular girl and the head of the cheerleading squad at Adam West High School where Meg and Chris also attend. Connie is mean and spoiled, and generally is seen bullying Meg and Persephone. Take the stage and does a sexy pose.

Connie D'Amico I don't think they even know what a pistil is.

Kamina I got your pistil right here.

As he chase Connie with shaver to add himself to the list of people occasionally punished for her cruelty, and has been emotionally, physically and verbally attacked by each member of the Mallque/Griffin clan. That's when the boys rise for their part of the song.

John and Tyler where does the pollen go?*

"Next chapter. How in an abstract way, the same thing applies to the reproductive organs of the more complex life-forms. But we are now dealing with sexual response. Are there any questions before we begin reading?" Frank asked the class about abstract way, the same thing applies to the reproductive organs of the more complex life-forms. But they are now dealing with sexual response.

As rage was being held by Negi, Zeke and Menma while being near Ms. Mason

Rage *is it possible the female member of some sex on a couch could, like, get this guy all hot and she never even knew it?*

"Negative." Frank said to rage with mad tone.

As person change to menma cause he walk towards some girls.

Menma *When a warm-blooded mammal in a tight little sweater starts pulling that stuff she's saying that she wants to do it.

Then it change to Simon as he slide on table to sing near some hot girls.

Simon Can't prove it by me 'Cause they change their tune when you got 'em in the back seat.

Now it Zeke turn as he explain what's happing next in the lesson/song.

Zeke With his heart beatin' fast.*

"They make it sound like a track meet, gross!" The twins says as they are gross out by that statement.

As the boys take the next scene as they mock the girls of the refusal of having second thoughts of having sex.

The Mc12 *Yeah... Then all they can do is say, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

That's when the girls take over the sing while sound like dude while the boy shrill like the girls.

The Girls Reproduction.

The Boys Reproduction.

The Girls Baby, give it to me now.

The Boys and Girls Reproduction. Reproduction.

The Boys Is that all you think about?

The Girls Reproduction, come on, baby, show me that you really love me so.

That's when Chris take over and he is about to throw up by the sexual energy.

Chris I think l'm gonna throw up.

That's when John and Tyler take over and they act like sperm. Trying to get all the girls pregnant. This cause Lois to get piss off by this action and she chase them around the classroom.

John and Tyler Where does the pollen go?*

"Mr. Biteo and Mr. Watts, please be seated." Lois said to the boys to sit down.

"The human is the only being capable of consciously controlling his number of offspring. Are there any comments on that?" Frank says about humans are the only being capable of consciously controlling their number of offspring and he ask if are there any comments on that.

"I was wondering if you could tell me where she lives." John asked about this women location from a porn magazine that he has.

As Meg and Persephone roll their eyes. That when Lois take over the song now.

"Is it true that guys like you, you know, mature and all carry some protection with them for sexual occasions?" Lois ask him about men carry some protection with them for sexual occasions in sexy tone.

"Oh god!" Frank said in panic and sexual confused tone.

"What's the big deal man?" Tyler said in questionable tone.

"Can a girl just do that thing in a book where she adds up the days other, what do you call it, mentalstration?" John ask frank about a girl's mentalstration.

The Girls *Oh, that's really neat! Yeah, and what if a guy says the numbers don't add up right, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah!

The Boys and Girls Reproduction. Reproduction.

That's when patty take over while stuff her shirt to make big titties while make kamina nod in agreement for what he is done.

Patty Hope he's proud of what he's done.

The Boys and Girls Reproduction. Reproduction.

That's when a couple come by and throw themselves on the table where Meg was. It Menma with a girl in his arm while her leg were across his neck.

Menma He was only pokin' fun.

The Boys and Girls Reproduction.

That's when Tyler take over while hold a bunny rabbit that looks like Lincoln loud in rabbit form. As he begins to sing his part of the song.

Tyler See what happens when a boy and girl don't know how to play it safe.

The Boys and Girls Reproduction. Reproduction.*

As John kisses Persephone hungrily, she moan and then they pulled out. He smirks and she grab his shirt to kiss him again.

The Boys and Girls *Reproduction. Reproduction.

As everyone including peter, Lois and frank were sing the song as the principle look through the door window. As he see all the student running around and the duo of Tyler and Chris sing their last part of the song.

Tyler and Chris where does the pollen go?*

As John puts his arm around Persephone waist as they go out the class.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house in the kitchen as Brian read the newspaper. While Chris does his homework and Stewie plus Frank Jr and

"I say, look at this. This toy has small parts. Why the devil would they include small parts? Unless... I'm supposed to eat them. Of course, it all adds up!" Stewie said as he question about toy small parts until he realized that he wants to eat them.

But Stewie hurt his teeth by that.

"Ow!" Stewie exclaimed when he spit would a tooth.

"Oh, dear God, I've lost a tooth." Stewie exclaim in shocked.

"You're Lucky," Chris said cheerfully.

"Yet prematurely since you shouldn't be chewing on those" Emily added.

"If you put that under your pillow, the tooth fairy will come and give you a dollar." Chris explains about getting money from the tooth fairy by put a tooth under a pillow.

"What? Did you say that the tooth fairy can come here? To our house? She just breaks in like some hood?" Stewie asked in disbelief as he is about to freak out.

"Yeah, she creeps into your house at night and comes to your room while you sleep." Brian answered teasing him. That the tooth fairy creeps into your house at night and comes into your room while you sleep.

"Oh my god!" Stewie exclaimed in shocked while Clara was giggle at his face.

"And sometimes, just for the hell of it, she cuts out just a piece of her armpit hair and places it gently on your tongue." Frank Jr. added joining in Brian's teasing stewie that she cuts off a piece of her armpit hair and places it gently on your tongue.

"Oh! Oh God! I've got to get out of here! I've got to get out of here!" Stewie cried as he has a freakin panic attack.

As Brian come up to Stewie and started shaking him.

"Stewie, Come down, get a hold of yourself." Brian said assumingly as he shakes stewie to calm him down while slapping his face.

"Brian, please, let me handle this. Take it easy Stewie, pull yourself together." Emily said taking her turn to calm Stewie down by shaking him.

"I'll take from here, Emily. Let me do it." Chris said taking his turn while also slapping Stewie.

"Calm down! Everything's going to be alright." Chris said as he tries shakes stewie to calm him down while slapping his face.

That's when Quagmire showed up.

"Chris, your wanted on the phone." Quagmire said.

As Chris left to answer the phone leaving quagmire with stewie.

"Everything's going to be alright." Quagmire said as he shakes Stewie and slapping him.

"Quagmire, please, let me handle this." Frank Jr. said taking his turn as quagmire left the kitchen leaving Frank Jr with stewie.

"Calm down. Everything's going to be all right." Frank Jr said as he takes a turn to shakes stewie to calm him down while slapping his face.

As the scene shows Behind Frank Jr. was a line starting with Cleveland standing with a wrench, followed by Mayor West with a tommy gun, then Mr. Herbert with a pistol, then the evil monkey with a baseball bat, followed by Dr. Hartman with a knife, and finally the Kool-Aid guy wearing boxing gloves.

Now back to house with Lois and Frank as they about to leave the house to do the sex Ed class until peter came by with a peanut butter jar in his left hand.

"Hey, Lois, I wanted to get some K-Y Jelly for the class today, but they were all out so I got Smucker's." Peter said as he wants to get K-Y Jelly for the class today, but they were all out so he got Smucker's.

"Peter, I don't know what you think you're doing, but you ruined my sex Ed class. There's no way you're coming with me again only Frank is join me with the class." Lois said as she doesn't want peter to come since he ruined her sex Ed class.

"Fine, but without my advice, those kids are going to be as hopeless as Liam Neeson when he tries to play an American cowboy." Peter said as he talks about Liam Neeson when he tries to play an American cowboy in cutaway.

Cutaway

We join a scene about a farm with Liam Neeson as a cowboy talking to his wife.

"But, Montana, when will you be back?" the wife asked.

"That's none of your concern. You got to take care of the offspring. Gonna take a fortnight at least to get this herd down to St. Louis on Mississippi. This glen's gonna be tough to traverse, and that river's got to be 50, 60 meters wide. And God knows how many fathoms. To hell with parliamentary procedure. We've got to wrangle up some cattles" Liam said as he's riding a horse.

Cutaway Ends

Now we join Lois and Frank arriving at James wood high school as they see parental protests arise since Lois taught kids about safe ways to perform premarital sex, instead of abstinence.

"What is going on here?" Frank aske one of the protesters.

"We're all protesting the sex Ed class that's being taught to our children." One of the protesters said that everyone in this group is protesting the sex Ed class that's being taught to their children.

That's when Principal Shepherd appears on the scene with bad news.

"Mrs. Griffin and Mr. Mallque, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but the school board has voted to cancel your sex Ed class." Principal Shepherd said to the duo that the school board has voted to cancel their sex Ed class

"Look, Principal Shepherd, I know my husband acted inappropriately..." Lois explain to the principal about peter's behavior.

"Oh, it's not because of your husband. It's because you're teaching those kids about condoms." Principal Shepherd explain the reason on why Lois and Frank lost their class, because they teach them about condoms.

This cause Lois and Frank to freak out.

"What? That's ridiculous." Lois said it in hysterical tone.

"These students have the right to information about safe sex." Frank said that the students have the right to information about safe sex.

"Well, these parents don't think so. I'm sorry, Mrs. Griffin. You're fired." Principal Shepherd said As a result, Lois is subsequently fired and banned from School grounds.

"Fired?! Oh, no." Lois said as she set up a cutaway about her self being fired.

Cutaway

As Lois got fired, the screen shifts to a scene from Knight Rider.

Cutaway Ends

Now we join Frank, Brian, Emily, Lois and peter in the kitchen of the Mallque/Griffin house.

"I can't believe they fired both of you." Emily said in shocked of this news.

"Can't you go down the school and try to reason with them?" Brian asked if they can go down the school and try to reason with them.

"No, we're banned from school property. The PTA doesn't want us around their children." Lois explains that they are banned from school property. The PTA doesn't want them around their children.

"Well, Mom, I think we did the right thing by trying to inform these kids about safe sex." Frank said that they did right thing by trying to inform the kids about safe sex.

"And if the parents don't like it, that's their loss." Brian said if the parents don't like it, that's their loss.

But that's what worries Lois and she speak from her heart.

"That's the problem, though. It isn't their loss, it's the kids' loss. I just hope they're getting the information they need." Lois said it's the kids' loss not the adult and she wonders if the kids are getting the information they need.

Now we join ourselves at James woods high school as all the student were at the assembling hall as Principle Shepherd is making announcement.

"All right, students, we have a special speaker today who's going to educate you about sex. Please welcome from the First Evangelical Church, the Reverend Jerry Kirkwood." Principle Shepherd explain that they have a special speaker today who's going to educate you about sex.

As the school staff replace Frank and Lois by reverend Jerry Kirkwood and the Opal Ring Crusade.

"Hey, kids, put your Walkman's down and listen up. Cause we're going to talk about sex." Jerry Kirkwood talk to the students about sex.

"Sex? Hang on there, Jerry." Voice said from nowhere in the auditorium.

"God, what are you doing here?" Jerry Kirkwood asked on god on why is he here.

As this made Emily, John and Tyler roll their eyes by this event.

"I was just passing through on my way to see The Matrix." God explain that he was passing through on his way to see The Matrix.

"Hahaha, we can relate to that." Brown hair kid said in excitement.

"No fake." Blonde kid said in agreement.

"Well, God, I am here to talk to these kids about sex." Jerry Kirkwood explain to god that he is here talk to these kids about sex.

"Uh-oh." God aid as he was worried about something.

"And why they shouldn't be having it." Jerry Kirkwood explain the rest as he will tell them that they shouldn't be having it

"That is boss." God said like a cool kid.

"Hey, you kids like Mad TV? Well, we've got something almost as good. Here they are... The Opal Ring Players." Jerry Kirkwood asked the kids like Mad TV? Well, they've got something almost as good. Here they are... The Opal Ring Players.

As the stage turn to a brown hair boy and blonde girl on seats pretending to drive

"Boy, I sure had fun at the pizza parlor tonight, Debbie." Matthew said to Debbie about having a good time at the pizza parlor.

"Yeah, Matthew, that pizza pie was delicious." Debbie said as she had a good time and love the pizza.

"Hey, watch out, crazy driver. That joker must have been from Jefferson High." Matthew said about a fake drunk driver almost crash at them and about him being from Jefferson High.

"Hahaha, they're our rivals." Black hair kid said about Jefferson High being the school rivals.

"Well, here we are at the make-out point." Matthew said about them being at make out point.

"Yeah. You want to go all the way?" Debbie asked him if he wants to go all the way.

Then the scene freeze when they were about to kiss.

"Freeze! Now, who can tell me what Matthew just did wrong? I mean, besides not running over that yahoo from Jefferson High." Jerry Kirkwood asked the kid what went wrong with this scene.

"Hahaha, they're our rivals." Black hair kid said about Jefferson High being the school rivals again.

"He's wrong 'cause he wants to have sex and he's not married." Doug said the answer.

"Bingo." Jerry Kirkwood said as he tell Doug that he was correct.

As The idea appeals to most students, including Persephone.

"Wow, you're pretty smart." Persephone said to Doug that he is very smart.

"Thanks. My name's Doug." Doug said hello to Persephone.

"I'm Persephone." Persephone reply by saying her name.

This cause John to get jealous and almost broke the seat right in front of him.

"Now, look, let's rap for a second." Jerry Kirkwood said as he take seat informally.

As the scene change to three kids seating informally just like Jerry Kirkwood

"He's sitting informally like us. Let's hear what he has to say." Brown hair kid said to his friends about jerry sitting like them and they should listen to him.

"Jefferson High is our rival." Black hair kid said about Jefferson High being the school rivals again for the third.

"Sure, sex if fun, but you can't have it before you're married, even if you use a condom. Because not only to condoms fail 100% of the time, they're also majorly unsafe. Hey, you wouldn't put a plastic bag over your grandmother's head, would you?" Jerry Kirkwood explain sex if fun, but you can't have it before you're married, even if you use a condom. Because not only to condoms fail 100% of the time, they're also majorly unsafe.

"No." somebody said as the entire auditorium look in shocked by that statement.

"And that's why we're gonna be handing out these opal rings. These rings are a symbol of your commitment to refrain from sex until you're married. So what do you say? Who wants to be joyful? Who wants to be pure? Who wants to be... abstinent?" Jerry Kirkwood said as he promotes both premarital and marital abstinence, explaining fictional consequences of intercourse with various questionable examples.

This cause everyone to cheer for this event while this cause John, Tyler and Emily to slap the face in disgust.

"Wow, he makes so much sense." Doug said as he think it makes sense.

"I know, he's a visionary, like Gandhi or Mozart or Picasso." Persephone said as she starts a relationship with a fellow student named Doug and While she setting a cutaway about Picasso.

Cutaway

"Ladies and gentlemen, my newest work. Now, I know this person looks a little mixed up, but, watch carefully. If I move this down here, and this over here, and this part here... Anyone tell who it is yet? No? Okay, well, what if I move this here and this here... Then it's Dianne Wiest" Pablo Picasso fixes a photo and shows it to people.

Cutaway Ends

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin House inside the babies' room as Stewie is giving assignment to his toys and his roommates.

"All right, men, your mission tonight is to stave off the invading forces of the Tooth Fairy." Stewie said to his team as he turn to Frank Jr.

"SpongeBob and Frank Jr, you two watch the East." Stewie said to Frank Jr as he takes SpongeBob to their station and he then turn to Clara.

"StarScream and Clara, you two take the West." Stewie said to Clara, as she nods while she takes StarScream to her station as he turn to the last person.

"And Man-E-Faces, you take center patrol since you have many faces." Stewie said to Man-E-Faces as he trust him the most since he has many faces.

As the night turn to day meanwhile stewie is asleep until Brian wake him up.

"Whoa, ahaaaaaha!" Stewie groan and screaming while trying to fight

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. It's morning." Brian explain that it morning.

"Is it? Ha! I knew it! I scared her off." Stewie said as he feel confident that he beat the tooth fairy.

That's when Frank Jr interrupts him as he notice something under Stewie's pillow.

"Uh, you might want to check under your pillow." Frank Jr said as he tells him to check under his pillow.

"How did she get in? She must have been quieter than Britney Spears' dietician." Stewie said as he make cutaway about Britney Spears' dietician being quiet.

Cutaway

We see Britney spears, as she was eating excessively and her extremely timid dietitian attempted, unsuccessfully, to keep her from eating.

"Ea-Easy on those trans fats. N- Not everything needs gravy. You know, there's some carrots down at the other end. That-that cheesecake was for everyone" the dietician whispered as Britney Spears was pigging out at a buffet like crazy.

Cutaway Ends

Now back to Stewie, Frank Jr, Clara and Brian in the bedroom.

"Her hand was right beneath my pillow. She could have snapped my neck if she had a mind to." Stewie explain that the tooth fairy almost killed him if she had the chance.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it will be a while before you lose another tooth." Frank Jr explain to stewie that it will be a while before he lose another tooth.

"I can't wait for that. I have to lure her back on my terms and kill her myself! But to catch a fairy, I have to think like a fairy." Stewie said as he develops a plan to capture the fairy, not knowing she does not exist.

As the scene zoom in on Brian with a grin on his face.

"If you want Brian to say: "Well, that'll be a stretch," text-message FAMGUY1. If you want Brian to say: "I'm not touching that one," text FAMGUY2. If you want Brian to say: "Arriba!" and dance around a sombrero, text FAMGUY3. Enter now. Thanks for voting." Announcer explains that's Brian will do one of three text message from votes from fans.

"Arriba!" Brian said as he and Frank Jr and Clara dance around a sombrero. As the fans text FAMGUY3 for this scene.

As we join Peter Griffin and Frank watching TV in the living room.

"We now return to Laguna Beach." Announcer guy said about the show peter is watching.

As the TV shows three blondes in a resort talking to each other.

"Like, right?" Pony tail blonde girl said in agreement

"I know." Long hair blonde girl said in agreement.

"Whatever, because "duh!" short blonde hair girl said.

"I know, right?" Long hair blonde girl said in agreement.

"Whatever, because I mean, like, totally full out." Pony tail blonde girl said about full out.

"Full on." Long hair blonde girl said full on.

"Right?" Short blonde hair girl said right.

Now back to the boys in the living room.

"I guess it's not easy growing up anywhere." Peter said as Frank agree with him since grown up is never easy for some people.

That's when Meg, Persephone, Emily, John and Tyler return form school. As Persephone was excited while the rest was bored and tired from the announcement from the assembling hall.

"Hey dad and Frank, check out my abstinence ring. It means, I made a pledge not to have sex." Persephone said to her father that she is wearing an abstinence ring meaning, that she made a pledge not to have sex.

"That's crazy. You can't give up sex, you've got a responsibility. You see Persephone, you're what they call a "practice girl."" Peter explain to Persephone that she has a responsibility to be a practice girl for some boys namely John watts.

"Dad, look at the facts about sex." Persephone said as she give her father a booklet to read.

As Peter Reading a booklet Persephone gave him.

"If you have sex, your penis will fall off, and land in another dimension, populated entirely by dogs, who will eat it." Well that's something I'd like to avoid. Well this changes everything. From now on, I too will be "obstinent." Peter said as he truly believing the anti-sex propaganda Persephone brings home.

"Abstinent." Persephone said to peter the correct saying of the word.

"Absinthe." Peter said wrong again.

"Abstinent." Persephone said to peter the correct saying of the word again.

"You're grounded." Peter said as he gives up and just ground his daughter.

"Oh shit!" Meg, Emily, John and Tyler said as they hear the news that just from their rooms.

We now join Stewie and Frank Jr at Herbert the pervert house at night. While frightened by the fairy tale, Stewie develops a plan to capture the fairy, not knowing she does not exist. He decides to borrow Herbert's false teeth with Frank Jr.

"All right, getting a tooth to lure that damn fairy back shouldn't be too difficult." Stewie said Frank Jr as they set up their ladder near a window that leads inside to Herbert's bedroom.

As they seek inside they notice that Herbert snores in his sleep. While Frank Jr notice a glass filed with water and Herbert false teeth.

"I'd love to dance, Fred Savage. MM…" Herbert said in his sleep while snoring.

As we join the student watch school night football game in James wood high school football field. Meanwhile we join Persephone and Doug making out with each other underneath the benchers.

"Gosh, Persephone, I really wish we could take our relationship to the next level." Doug said as he wish that he could take their relationship to the next level.

"I know, I feel the same way, but we made a decision to be abstinent." Persephone said know that they already made the decision to be abstinent.

That's until Doug gain an idea.

"Of course, there are ways we could keep our pledge and still do other things." Doug explain that there are ways they could keep their pledge and still do other things.

"You're right. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Persephone asking him if he thinking what she is thinking.

"Uh-huh." Doug reply yes.

That's when two football player drive by in a go cart to find their ball.

"Oh, there it is. I see it." Roy the football player said.

"You know, Roy, I hope you play squash better than you pass." The other football player said to Roy that he hopes Roy play squash well than his pass.

"Well, we'll find out this Saturday. Hahahaha!" Roy said as he and his friend laugh smug like.

Now we are back the Mallque/Griffin house at night while we zoom inside the bedroom of losi and peter. As we see peter watching TV in his pajamas.

"All right, Peter, you ready for role-playing night?" Lois said off-screen.

As we see Lois coming out of the bathroom as Grimace

"Come on Peter, got any hamburgers I can steal?" Lois said in a sexy tone while in a grimace costume.

"No Lois. Hamburglar steals hamburgers. Grimace is Ronald's retarded friend." Peter explains that the Hamburglar steals hamburgers and Grimace is Ronald's retarded friend.

"Oh, come on, you love the dirty-talking Grimace." Lois said as she tries to take off his pant to notice he has a chastity belt.

"You... Peter, what the hell is this?" Lois asked him in anger.

"My chastity belt. Peter reply his answer.

"A chastity belt? What in God's name is that for?" Lois asking him on why he has a chastity belt.

"I'm abstinent, Lois. It's all in these pamphlets Persephone brought home from school. Sex turns straight people gay and turns gays into Mexicans. Everyone goes down a notch." Peter explain that he is abstinent because by the pamphlets that's Persephone brought home from school.

"This is nonsense. You can't force abstinence on kids." Lois said in anger, by the school stupidly to force abstinence on kids.

"Lois, what possible harm can abstinence do?" Peter asked her on what possible harm can abstinence do.

But that's just piss off as she rush to her daughter room.

"Persephone Griffin, we need to have a talk." Lois said as she come to twin's door and when she turn on the lights, she gasp.

"Mom!" Persephone said as she and Doug cover themselves in the blanket of the bed.

"Oh, my God! You kids were doing it... in the ear!" Lois said in shocked of what she just saw in her daughter bedroom.

That's when Brian come in in red robe with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a plate.

"Hey, my sandwich tastes funny. Is there something wrong with the Smucker's?" Brian asked Lois if his sandwich tastes funny and if there's something wrong with the Smucker's.

"Yeah, it's been on my crotch." Peter said from off-screen as Brian eyes widen in shocked.

"Gross dude just gross!" Frank said off-screen as the scene fades to black.

Now it morning in the Mallque/griffin house as we zoom in on Lois and Persephone in Meg's and Persephone room, sitting on the bed.

"Persephone, I still cannot believe what you and Doug did last night." Lois said in disgust by what she and Doug did last night.

"Mom, you don't understand. Doug and I are abstinent, but if we have sex in the ear, it doesn't count. We're still pure in the eyes of the Lord." Persephone said that they used a loop hole and their still pure in the eyes of god.

"Bullshit!" Frank, Meg and Frank Jr shouted off-screen.

"Persephone, when I was your and your sister age, my parents tried to feed me the same nonsense about premarital sex. You're lying to yourself." Lois explains that she was in the same position as her when she was Persephone age.

"Well, I don't care what you think! Doug and I are part of the Opal Ring Crusade, and this is how we choose to express our love." Persephone said as she still apart of the Opal Ring Crusade, and this is how they choose to express their love.

"Look, Persephone, A) ear sex is just unnatural, and B) How do I say this? Vaginal intercourse... is... it's...it's just tops! It's the bee's knees, Persephone. Oh, when you rattle it around just right, oh my God! I mean, you remember when we had that old car with the bad shocks and I used to take the old dirt road on purpose?" Lois said as she explains the raw and unrated version of sex feels.

Until she notice that her daughter wasn't in the room anymore.

"Persephone... Persephone?" Lois shouted her name until she see Brian near the entrance to the room.

"I love you." Brian said until Emily slap him for hearing that.

Now we join channel five news with tom tucker and Diane Simmons.

In local news, a sexy new trend has emerged at James Woods High. Tom tucker explain that a sexy new trend has emerged at James Woods High

That's right, Tom. It appears that students have taken to having ear sex in lieu of traditional intercourse. Diane Simmons explain that the students have taken to having ear sex in lieu of traditional intercourse.

"Over 200 reports of ear sex have been confirmed so far, prompting a new slogan: "Once you go black, you go deaf"." Tom tucker said a new slogan: "Once you go black, you go deaf".

As we see Frank, Meg and Jillian in the living room.

"Guys, I'll be right back. I'm going to use the little girl's room." Jillian said as she is going to restroom for a little while and be right back.

"All right, baby." Frank and Meg said in agreement.

That's when Stewie and the babies come into the living room.

"Ahuh, An entire week and still no teeth." Frank Jr said groan as he relax on the couch while sitting on his mother legs.

"And it turns out these teeth I got from the old man are phony." Stewie said as he take out Herbert fake teeth. That's when Frank Jr took the teeth and put them on.

"Guys, Guys, look, I'm Gary Busey. I'm frequently aggressive in situations that don't call for it." Frank Jr said as he looks like Gary Busey with Herbert false teeth.

That's until they hear someone vomiting off-screen.

"What the hell is that?" Stewie said in question of the noise that he is hearing.

"Ah, it's Jillian. She's, uh... she has this eating disorder. She's bulimic." Frank explain that noise was Jillian and she has this eating disorder also She's bulimic.

"My God, that's horrible!" Stewie said in shocked.

"I know, it really is. I mean, her hair is falling out. Last week she lost a tooth." Meg explain that Jillian is losing hair and Last week she lost a tooth.

"Really?" Frank Jr said in shook to this news.

"But man, I'll tell ya, all that purging just makes her body look fantastic." Meg explain that her purging just makes her body look fantastic.

That make Emily, john and Tyler raised an eyebrow as they arrive to the living room.

"We mean is, that's what the supermodels do. And so many of them just look so great. Karen Carpenter over did it, but we think Jillian's found a good balance." Frank explain that is what the supermodels do and so many of them just look so great. Karen Carpenter over did it, but they think Jillian's found a good balance.

We now join Stewie and Jillian in a random restaurant as they talk about stuff.

I'm really surprised you invited me out for dinner, Stevie. Jillian said as she really surprised stewie invited her out for dinner.

"Oh, well, you know, I just wanted to touch base, see how everything's... It's "Stewie," by the way. Just to check in, make sure everything's going well with you, Meg and Frank." Stewie said as he correct her by say his right name and telling her that he just check on her to make sure everything's going well with her and the Mallque couple.

"It's going kickass!" Jillian said in happy tone

"Well, you look fantastic. Got some meat on your bones, which is great." Stewie said that she has some meat on your bones, which was great.

"What?" Jillian said in shocked on what Stewie said.

"Just saying you look jolly, like Ruben Studdard or John Goodman or Santa." Stewie said that Jillian looks jolly like three fat guys he knew.

"Oh, my God. Are you saying I'm fat?" Jillian asking him if he calling her fat.

"No, I'm saying Santa's thin. Get in there and throw up!" Stewie provokes Brian's girlfriend Jillian to throw up, as she has bulimia nervosa, in order to collect her teeth as well.

As Stewie leaves the restroom with one of Jillian teeth.

"Excellent. Now I'm prepared to fight the Tooth Fairy just like Gerri fought comedy on The Facts of Life." Stewie said as he plan to fight the tooth fairy like Gerri fought comedy on The Facts of Life in this cutaway.

Cutaway

The scene shifts to The Facts of Life.

"Hey, Blair, did you find a purse at the mall?" Natalie Green asked her on finding her purse in the mall.

"Actually, I found seven." Blair said that she found seven in the mall.

(Audience laughter)

"One for every day of the week." Geri Jewell said.

(Audience: Aw!)

Cutaway Ends

Now we join peter and Lois in their bedroom in the dark since we can't see shit.

"I'm wide awake, Peter. You want to mess around?" Lois asking him to have sex with her.

"Lois, you know I'm abstinent." Peter reply with the same answer since he is abstinent

"Come on. Can't you break your stupid pledge for one night?" Lois argue with him to break his pledge for one night.

"Well, I guess we do both have needs." Peter said as he make move on lois.

"Peter, hahahaha." Lois said as she laughs while make love in the dark.

That's until she felt something wrong with the love making.

"Wh-What are you doing? What? Peter, what are you doing to my ear?!" Lois asking him on wht is he doing to her ear.

As Lois turn the bedroom light back on only to find Peter's crotch near her head

"Get off of me!" Lois shouted peter to get off of her

As she then knocking him to the bedroom floor. That's when frank heard a noise in his parent room and went to check it out.

"What the hell is going on?" Frank ask in quiet tone as he hide behind the door as he see peter and Lois arguing.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Lois asking him on why he having sex with her ear only.

"This is all I can do, Lois. I'm abstinent." Peter explain that this is all he can do with sexual.

"That is it. I am going to have regular sex with you whether you like it or not." Lois said as she has had with people get abstinent and wants some good old fashion sexy time.

"No!" Peter reply in child tone.

"I wasn't asking your permission." Lois said as she moves toward him but peter grab the lamp that held the light in this room and threw at her but it miss. Then he jumps him in the dark.

But in the shadows Frank accidently enter the room in the dark. This cause him to get capture as well. Then Lois begin to have sex with someone in the dark and it was not peter, nope it was frank. This cause frank accidently to make love to Lois in the dark while trying to drag peter to his position so he can escape.

"No, no, no! I'm abstinent! This is an affront to the Lord! No! No!" Peter said as he cries and scream while him listening to Lois's groans of satisfaction. That's when Frank made the switch, peter was then inside Lois's vagina and after a few pumps he cum inside but noticing the extra cum that was inside her. Then Frank hide under neither the Lois's side of the bed.

"Oh, I see what you're driving at." Peter said as he finally wake up from his pledged.

After Peter and Lois have sex, they think about what is happing with the school and their daughter lives.

"Oh, that was fantastic. By the way, where did you get that tattoo on your lower back?" Peter asks when she got a tattoo.

"I don't know, Peter, meth is a hell of a drug." Lois replies with "I don't know, meth is a hell of a drug."

"What?" Peter said in confusion.

"I'm just glad to have you back on my side. I only wish I could convince Persephone and her classmates, too." Lois said as she notice Frank underneath the bed and gave him a sexy look while she puts her underwear on top of Frank's head. She then signals him that they will talk later.

"We'll show 'em somehow, Lois. I'll be more convincing than Mel Gibson when he apologized to the Jews." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about Mel Gibson when he apologized to the Jews.

Cutaway

As we see Mel Gibson, his apology for anti-Semitic remarks made to a police officer for his arrest for drunk driving in 2006.

"I'm really, really sorry about your big noses. I'm really sorry about how greedy you are. But most of all, I'm really sorry about your dirty, underhanded, backstabbing ways. Your number-one dirty Jew fan, Mel Gibson" Mel apologized in front of a press conference.

Cutaway Ends

Now we join Stewie placed Jillian's tooth under a pillow and sets up the security alarm system. Laser beams glow all around his floor. Stewie carried out his rifle from under the bed.

"Alright tooth whore, do your worst." Stewie said chalking up his gun.

A shadow figure came in and step into a noose of rope which suddenly pulled the figure by the foot hanging upside down. The alarm rings.

"Aha!" Stewie cried as He turned on the light to reveal Emily hanging upside down with her skirt risen up exposing her diaper.

"Stewie! What the hell, get me down from here?" Emily cried in terror.

"No way man! How do I know you're not the tooth fairy in disguise?!" Stewie yelled.

"Your middle name is Gilligan." Emily answered.

"Not good enough!" Stewie snapped.

"You think Frank's friend is a moron." Emily said.

"So does everyone else!" Stewie snapped again.

"You know I still wear diapers." Emily said.

"So does almost everyone!" Stewie snapped yet again.

"You have a picture of Chris North in your wallet." Emily said.

"Okay." Stewie said a little calmer. He then cuts the rope holding Emily by the foot as she landed with a thud.

"What's all the racket?" Brian asked as he and Meg coming to Stewie's room.

"I was going to check on Stewie caught me in his tooth fairy trap." Emily explains the situation while Frank Jr smell something awful.

"Now that I've landed, I suddenly messed myself out of surprise." Emily said in sad tone for make her own mess in her pants.

"Ah Jeez…" Brian said in frustration as he looks at Meg as she nods in agreement.

"Stewie, kids, this is ridiculous, and there something I got to tell you." He said as he begins to confess.

"The tooth fairy isn't real." Both Brian and Meg said.

"What?!" Stewie asked in disbelief.

"Look, I didn't want to burst your bubble since you're just a kid." Brian explained

"But yeah, she's all smoke and mirrors. Just like Harry Houdini."Meg said as she tell the babies about the tooth fairy being fake like harry Houdini in a cutaway.

Cutaway

"I don't wanna play bridge with the Petersons tonight." Harry whined.

"Harry, we agreed weeks ago and we're going." Said his wife firmly.

"Alright, fine let me get my coat." He said in defeat. He walks to closet and instead of fetching his coat, he gets in and shuts the door.

"Oh, wait a second!" She said in realization. She opened the closet Harry went into revealing he wasn't there.

"Dammit, I am not going by myself!" She said as she angrily walked to a chest opening to reveal Harry was in there.

"Ah, you bitch" Harry groaned as he really defeated.

Cutaway Ends

Now back to stewie, Frank Jr, Brian, Emily and Meg.

"Ah, very well then." Stewie said in acceptance.

"I suppose that bile spewing skirt can have her tooth back. No offense on the skirt, Emily." Frank Jr said as his apologies to Emily about bile spewing skirt insult.

"Partially taking seeing the mess I literally got myself in." Emily said

"Yeah, why don't you head to your room and change that big diaper of yours." Stewie said as he went to fetch the tooth under his pillow to find it wasn't there.

"What?! It's gone!" Stewie cried.

"Woah…" Brian said in amazement

"I wonder what happened to it." Meg asked the gang.

"I think I would know." Emily said pointing the window which happens to be open.

As the scene shows a man named T. Fairy, having an apparent tooth fetish, stealing teeth to roll around in them.

Now we join Frank, Peter and Lois at James woods high school hiding behind some bushes while trying a way to get inside. While they notice a wanted poster with Lois face on it and a security guard guarding the entrance to the assembly hall.

Frank and Peter, how are we going to get past the guard? Lois asking them on how are they going to get past the guard?

This caused both Peter and Frank to grin at each other.

"Lois, I think we just got an idea." Peter said to Lois that they have an idea.

As very tall guy with Frank face with a mustache with peters arms and Lois legs with the overcoat. As he walk toward the guard.

"You see that guy with the overcoat?" Frank asking Lois if he see the guy in front.

"He's tall enough for us to sneakin behind him." Peter explain that the guy was tall enough for them to sneakin behind him.

Come on! Frank said as they rush towards the guy to get inside the school.

Meanwhile in the assembly hall we see jerry telling his anti-sex propaganda speech.

"So remember, sex is bad, immoral, and wrong. And if you have sex, you're automatically in Al Qaeda." Jerry Kirkwood explain about sex being bad to the kids.

That's when Lois bursts into the minister's speech, which is full of anti-sex propaganda.

As Lois pushes him off of the stage, then she and Frank take over and talk to the students.

"Kids, do not listen to this man. He is wrong, he is feeding you lies. Now, look, it's true. You shouldn't have sex until you're ready." Frank tells the kids not to listen to him as he is wrong and feeding them lies.

"You should wait until you're in love. But I mean, hey, we're all human, huh? We have urges, and they are perfectly natural." Lois tells the kids that while they should not have sex until they are ready, everyone has urges and it is okay to have premarital sex.

"And if you do make the choice to act on them, make sure you protect yourselves, use a condom." Frank said as long as it is practiced safely and encourages them to use condoms.

"I'm going to use condoms." Brown hair kid said about using condoms.

"Me, too!" Blonde hair kid said in agreement.

"Maybe I'll use two condoms at the same time." Brown hair kid said that he will use two condoms at the same time.

"Why would you do that?" Blonde hair kid asked the brown hair kid on why he would do that.

"Oh, I mean, just one, just one." Brown hair kid reply as he was just joking around.

Now we join Persephone and Doug as they heard and they started thinking.

"Doug, my mom's right. If we really care about each other, it's okay to have sex. We'll be safe. We'll use a condom, and it'll be wonderful." Persephone explain to Doug that her mother is right. If they really care about each other, it's okay to have sex. They'll be safe. They'll use a condom, and it'll be wonderful.

"Wow! Does this mean I'll see you naked?" Doug asking her if he will see her naked.

"Yeah." Persephone reply with yes.

"Oh, boy, I can't wait." Doug said in excitement.

"Not if I have any to say about it!" John said as he know that this will not go in Persephone favor.

By following this revelation, Doug breaks up with Persephone after discovering her naked appearance. But he died after the pity sex he was force to have since he was at gun point by john.

"I'm sorry Doug dumped you, honey." Lois said as she comforts her daughter from her break up.

"Also sorry that he died after the pity sex, sis." Meg reply as she hug her sister to cheer her up.

"It's all your fault!" A humiliated Persephone said as she blames Lois for destroying her relationship.

That's when John came to her rescue and take up stair for some angry emotional sex in her room.

"I'm proud of you, sweetheart." Peter said as Lois see her daughter being drag up stairs.

"Me, too, Lois. You stood up for what you believe in. I just wish I could have been there to hear the speech you made." Brian said as he is proud of Lois for standing up for what she believe in. he just wish he could have been there to hear the speech she made.

"You think you could give me a little taste?" Frank asked for a little taste of the speech.

That's when the scene pauses as the announcer guy talks to the audiences.

"If you want to hear Lois' speech, text-message FAMGUY1. If you want to hear Persephone talk about her day, text FAMGUY2. If you want to give Cleveland and Menma their first line of the episode, text FAMGUY3. Enter now." The announcer guy asked the audience to pick one out of three choices to make the ending scene by voting threw text.

"Thanks for voting." The announcer guy said to the audience.

That's when Cleveland and Menma appeared in the kitchen window.

"Hey, y'all, sock it to us!" Cleveland and Menma said out the kitchen window.

As the scene fades to black.

Chapter Ended

Well that's the sixth chapter of season 5, I hope you guys enjoy it. This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for the cutaway, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. See you next chapter my friends.