As he was ferried lower and lower by the Jeanette goddess, Simon's senses filled with the motion of gliding through water. The emotions of what he expressed to her still pulsed hot through his blood, mingling with the shock of being brought underwater. The swimming pool depths strangely went on and on, until they had approached an underwater tunnel- which had certainly not been there before.
The powerful and undulating form of Jeanette continued drawing Simon down with her, leaving the surface far behind them and into the cooler waters of the tunnel. He didn't feel a need to draw breath, which despite the eeriness of it- didn't worry him. The beauty grasping his hand led them on, and he felt safe with her flowing confident movements. Darkness began to fill Simon's vision, until a small glowing light appeared ahead of them. Its brightness grew and looked familiar as a new surface appeared above them.
When they finally pierced into the fresh air, Simon gasped it in deeply. There was a vaguely familiar scene before him. Thick green foliage on either side of the stream that Jeanette and he had reached, and a purply blue haze was surrounding them.
A squeeze of his hand pulled his gaze towards the Jeanette still with him. She would stay with him now. He knew that.
Like nymphs, they gracefully reached the other side and began to climb ashore. It looked magical with glimmering mist filling between the trees, and the stars and moon shining down on the newly arrived visitors. Simon felt slightly transparent eyes on him and turned to meet them.
"We should go into the forest now. You've come so far", Jeanette gracefully smiled.
"Yes. I guess we should. Err- Jeanette?" He waited hopefully, despite knowing the answer already. She smiled at him once more.
"How I appear to you, is for you. I am not whom you often think of." The beautiful being waited for his understanding before ushering him near her to begin their walk into the mysterious woods laying before them.
Simon chewed on her words for a moment. Things still weren't clear to him. The oppressing feelings before he'd confessed to this being had lifted, for now. Simon followed her as she gently beckoned him into the mist.
The trees surrounding them were immense and bushy with visible dewiness on the tips of the leaves. Walking a step behind, Simon held onto Jeanette's hand as she steered him through the wilderness. He was content to go anywhere and grew lost in his own thoughts when he heard something.
A floating call in the distance.
It was melodic, and when Simon strained his ears, he heard it more clearly… his name.
He looked up and saw the Jeanette still in front of him smiling back at his concerned expression. Without speaking, she began to twinkle and filtered down towards Simon's glove which had begun to glow once more. Without breathing, he felt a warmth grow in his chest once the ethereal Jeanette completely vanished from sight. But he wasn't afraid.
The calling came again, more strongly this time, "Simon!? Simon!"
Simon's attention deviated back to the mystery voice and followed its trail. He left the path and moved into the lush greenery. Simon felt the weather turning cold, and quickly into winter, a snowy winter. What's happening? Is it snowing? It is! Simon reached a small clearing which was filled with bright freshly fallen snow. He instinctively padded towards a familiar cabin on the edge of the clearing, his heart began to beat harder. Have I gone back in time? It was the same cabin from the skiing holiday in the photo he had once studied so earnestly.
Slowly, he opened the front door.
"Simon!" Jeanette said with exasperation. She marched straight up to him and roughly wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Where have you been? I was getting so worried Si." Jeanette looked up at Simon sternly. Then she smirked before pecking his cheek.
Simons arms had instinctively snaked around her returning the embrace. This Jeanette isn't transparent at all, but it couldn't really be her. Could it? Simon stayed silent, studying the overly friendly beauty now bobbing in his arms. Jeanette was wearing a dainty satin robe with a pretty nightie underneath, of which he'd never seen her wear before. Her hair was flowing around her shoulders, making her prettier than ever. As she danced over to a little sofa by the window, Simon's eyes followed her around the room. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"Uhh. Jeanette?" Simon cautiously watched the chippette lightly preening her hair as she gazed at the falling snowflakes outside.
"Yes Simon?" Jeanette replied as she leaned forward to study the snowflakes falling onto the windowsill. Simon noticed her long hazelnut leg revealing from under her robe, making his head spin. He forced his eyes up to her elegant fingers pressed on the windowpane.
"Well…", Simon cleared his throat. "I ahh just w-wanted to check with you- what your plans were for tonight?" Not letting on that he hadn't the faintest idea of the context in which this Jeanette knew him, seemed to be the best approach. Simon was rewarded with a cheeky grin, yet another expression he rarely saw on her.
And an answer.
As Jeanette walked over again, she purred, "Oh, I'm sure we can think of something Simon. Don't you? We've been waiting so long for this getaway, and we can finally have some time alone now that we've graduated."
Okay, so this isn't my Jeanette.
Sweat began to form on Simon's temples. "We- we have? I mean, of course we have." He couldn't help but react to the outrageous flirting she was firing at him. Jeanette lifted her hand to brush back Simon's hair that was falling into his eyes. Slowly, she closed her eyes lifting her face slightly to his.
For a fleeting moment, Simon looked at Jeanette's pouting lips. His stomach started to flip, kissing them was something he had only secretly dreamed about. Yet, here she was making it so easy for him to take what he wanted. Clearly, she believes we're in a relationship. I should keep up the act then – right?
The yearning was visceral, but Simon was torn. He leaned forward and inhaled her aura. Enticing. Oh god this is happening! Thoughts were scattering in Simon's head, but one of them grew louder.
This. This isn't right. I can't do this… He imagined where his own Jeanette really was. Sleeping in her snug corner of the chipettes treehouse bedroom. Books sprawled all over her bedside with her glasses resting atop the pile.
Simon finally decided to buy some time. "It's, it's so cold out, did you happen to know what temperature it is out there? Maybe there's a room thermometer we could use." He gulped nervously as Jeanette opened her eyes with a confused expression.
"Are you okay Simon? Did I do something wrong?" The worry in her eyes pricked at his heart, but he'd made up his mind. Simon lowered his head.
"Yeah. I'm sorry if I seem off, it's just that I feel like I don't remember what's happened to me. I know that sounds completely crazy. Please, can you tell me what's going on between us. Are we, a-a couple?"
Jeanette giggled sweetly before answering. "We've been together since the ski trip we all went on a couple of years ago. Right here. When I…held your hand by the fireplace that night. I had to do everything!" She playfully smacked his chest before stepping towards him to rub his shoulders. "Did you hit your head Si? Do you remember anything at all?"
Simon shook his head.
"Maybe you're getting stressed out about starting college again? You're always putting so much pressure on yourself Si. Let me help you relax."
While Simon listened to her words, he glanced about the cabin for clues on what was going on. Anything that would help him understand where he really was- if this was somehow real- it would put him at ease. Instead, he noticed the same photo from the Seville kitchen of the group around the snow man from their ski trip.
Simon began to feel Jeanette's slender hands running down his arms and over his elbows, it felt electric- shocking his focus back to her. Before she had a chance to once again close the small gap left between them, Simon stepped back gently pulling away. He gulped.
"I'm so sorry. I'm just not who you think I am." He moved back again and walked away before any more was said between them. With one last look at Jeanette's bewildered face, Simon closed the heavy wooden entrance door behind himself. Although his heart was squeezed with guilt, a feeling of relief swept over as well.
The snow continued to fall around Simon as he trekked. 'Cabin' Jeanette hadn't followed, and he was glad. Once Simon had left the clearing, cold bit into his fingers and toes as the weather grew wild. He hugged his arms around his single clothes layer for warmth. As there was nothing in sight for shelter, the situation was precarious. Surely something or someone will find me? Simon felt a wave of heat on his covered hand and glanced at it. Putting on this glove… so much has happened that no one could even attempt to explain. This can't be the end. It just can't. Wait a minute, now what?
The silky glove had significantly heated up now, and its appearance transformed into pale blue flames flickering higher and higher. Simon held up his hand, ready to try removing the blazing material but stopped when he realised the heat was no longer building and that the light 'flames' were flowing in a direction. His eyes followed the curious sight to see the pending sunrise as the glove's ultimate destination. Glowing orange hues below the dark sky became the backdrop for another moment in Simon's life.
He saw himself in a room of the high school's basement with only a desk and a box containing a hoverboard awaiting assembling. Simon was zooming around the room on the study desk chair casters, desperately searching for relief from the intense urge to open touch the box. Round and round he went, bouncing off the wall and table legs. The straining against his own arm reaching now looked ridiculous for the usually well self-controlled chipmunk.
Another scene immediately followed, and Simon watched on- too cold to begin to decipher the message held in the first one. The Seville backyard mistily appeared with Jeanette and himself on a purple picnic blanket playing chess. After winning, Jeanette's smile quickly dispersed once she saw Simon's disappointed expression opposite her.
Simon squinted at the image playing out in front of him. He'd never realised how callous and childish it was to walk away from Jeanette at the time. Her eyes were watching him walk away with the chessboard, along with any satisfaction in winning the game.
Anger towards himself built up watching the tantrum he threw inside the house. Simon shook his head at the sight. The same feelings of inadequacy and frustration threatened to invade him now. Why am I like this? It's no wonder Jeanette avoided playing me again. What a sore loser I was! She couldn't even slightly enjoy beating me. And she's the only one who has. I'm just, not good enough for her. Simon felt his fingers go completely numb.
The first memory replayed again, and then the other. Several times. The misery and cold Simon felt, echoed his hearts feelings perfectly. He lay down in the snow, alone. His mind began to slow.
A rumble in the air grew closer, until a deep voice reached Simon's ears.
Dave?
"It's been a long few days and nights. But why are you lying down in the snow?" It was Dave, or at least it was his sound. Simon stirred, letting the glove's light and sunrise trickle into view.
"Dave? I-I w-want to go home."
"No Simon. No more hiding from yourself."
"But I'm not, Dave. I know my feelings now. For Jeanette. I don't deserve her. I've only been a selfish and egotistical friend- nothing more. Please. Please let this all end." Simon began to whimper into the crook of his own elbow. The voice took no notice of his self-pity.
"What did you see Simon?"
Simon looked up once again. "I-I saw a selfish boy, who couldn't even handle losing a game of chess to his best friend. She must think I'm so pathetic." He lowered his eyes to the side. "And another moment where I was trying to stop myself from touching a hoverboard box during an experiment Jeanette once did on Theo, Alvin, and me."
The images began to play in Simon's mind as he continued to sit on the snow-covered ground. The iciness was biting through his clothes. "I d-don't des-erve h-her. She sh-should be with s-someone per-fect." Simon's teeth chattered uncontrollably.
"You believe you're not perfect?" Dave's voice calmly flew on the wind.
"I-I'm n-not."
"Because you-"
"No! D-Dave, I-I'm not." Simon's eyes closed as the gravity of not being perfect hit him. I'd do anything to be someone worthwhile. All his life seemed devoted to reaching for something. Goals that were practically unachievable but would fill the hole that was undeniably there. But would they? Simon wasn't sure anymore. Tears threatened to spill from his watery eyes, as hopeless acceptance of his truth overcame him.
A moment passed.
The voice of Dave remained quiet. A light warmth began to surround Simon, penetrating his skin slightly. His almost frost-bitten nose regained some of its sensation. Simon looked about himself and realised that only where he was sitting was heating up – the snow was becoming slushy.
It was a strange urge to have, but he scooped up a crunchy handful watching it pool onto his glove. Feeling more alert, Simon focused on what was occurring in his cupped hand. The reflective qualities increased as the snow completely melted into a liquid.
There were various colours glinting, and imagery sharpening in the sunrise. Simon squinted as he saw his own reflection in his gloved hand. It was clear now. But, is that my reflection or- something else? Looking closer, the image of Simon more resembled himself in the school basement and then sitting with Jeanette losing chess to her- like the visions earlier. The images of him flitted between the two and they seemed to be looking directly into Simons eyes, which was startling.
"Trust yourself Simon." Dave's voice echoed in his ears momentarily, lingering like warmth from a blanket. It became silent.
Simon breathed in deeply and peered at his reflection once more.
With love, he drank it.
