[A/N: Thank you to Calamity Owl and Darsynia for beta-reading this chapter!]


They got up a little earlier the next morning, and, after a quick breakfast, sat down to plan out their first potential combat operation related to Hermione's situation, which Sirius named "Operation: Nick the Knickers."

The rest of them vetoed that name.

The plan was straightforward: leave Hermione and her beacon home, take the Knight Bus in, ensure the property was safe, and have Dobby (who was younger and more capable of literal heavy lifting than Kreacher) bring all of Hermione's things to the spare bedroom on the second floor. The only complicating factor was that Harry hadn't yet had an opportunity to explain house elves to Hermione yet and she had some concerns on that front.

"Let me get this straight," she said. "This is a magical being who does anything you want him to without pay?"

"Kind of," Harry said. "Hogwarts pays him and he won't accept more money from me."

"How is he not a slave?"

"He isn't anymore," Harry said. "I tricked a nasty wizarding family into freeing him."

"Do you pay him?" Hermione asked.

"I've tried," Harry said. "You have no idea how much I've tried. Do you want to try?"

"Yes," she said firmly. After a moment, she added, "I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

"Yes," all three of the men said simultaneously.

"Dobby?" Harry called out.

A house elf wearing a pair of bright turquoise shorts, a threadbare crimson jumper at least two sizes too big, and big, floppy socks in different patterns of bright plaid popped up in front of Harry on the couch. "Great wizard Harry Potter called Dobby!" he said. "How can Dobby help?"

"Dobby, this is my friend Hermione," Harry said. "She would like to ask you something."

"Hello valiant and bold Harry Potter's friend My-knee!"

She blinked, then took a deep breath and forged ahead. "Dobby, I need your help with something. How much can I pay you?"

"Oh, noes, Harry Potter's friend My-knee!" Dobby shook his head violently. "Dobby is already making too much money at Hoggy-warts. One whole galleon a week."

"But that's only…nevermind," Hermione said. "What else can I give you, then? Would you like food or jewellery or something?"

Dobby shook his head again, then paused thoughtfully. "Is one thing, Miss My-knee, if yous don't mind."

"Not at all," she said. "What would you like?"

"Dobby gets bored at Hoggy-warts sometimes. Too many other elves there working, and great Harry Potter sir does all of his own cooking." Dobby said that last part with just a hint of disapproval in his tone. "Dobby would really like it if you found more work for him. Maybe convince wise and strong Harry Potter to make some little wizards and witches? Those cause lots of work. Then Dobby would never, ever be bored."

Hermione blushed bright red and tried to ignore the coughing fits seizing the men around her. "I'll…um…bring it up with him," she said.

"Thank you thank you!" Dobby bounced excitedly as he spoke.

"I'm glad," Harry said, "that you'll be willing to help us. You can go back to what you were doing now, and we'll call you in a little while when we're ready."

"Dobby is happy to help, great Harry Potter sir!" he said, and vanished back into thin air.

"Well," Hermione said conversationally, "I'm utterly mortified. How about you?"

"Likewise," Harry said.

"I'm doing alright," Remus said.

"Splendidly, thank you for asking," Sirius added.

Harry sighed. "Come on, you lot. I want to get this sorted before I need to leave for work."

"Fine," Sirius said, "but only because I know Shacklebolt will probably take it out on both of us if you're late, not just you."

"Your concern is touching," Harry said drily.

Remus chuckled and turned to Hermione. "We'll be back soon, my dear. Please make yourself at home while we're out."

She raised her eyebrows. "You're all going?"

"Of course," Remus said. "There's a decent chance this will be an ambush, so we want numbers on our side."

Hermione shot to her feet. "My clothes aren't worth risking your lives over!"

"It's the principle of the thing," Harry said.

"And we're hoping to kick their arses," Sirius added.

Harry shot him a glare.

"Oh, come on, I can tell you're thinking it, too," Sirius told him.

"Of course I am!" Harry shot back, "but she's going–"

"What do you mean you're 'hoping'?" Hermione demanded. "If you think I'm going to let you go looking for a fight–"

"We are not looking for a fight," Harry said. "We are going in quietly and will watch carefully for wards. If there is an ambush waiting, though, then we all get a chance to exercise our legal right to self-defence against the arseholes who magically lobotomized every last muggleborn witch or wizard like my mother for the last twenty years, and I'd be lying if I said that didn't sound the least bit appealing."

Hermione took a step back from his vehemence. "What about law enforcement?" she asked. "Can't you ask your colleagues for help?"

They shook their heads. "If we told them you were a muggle," Harry said, "they would ignore us. If we told them you were a witch, we'd potentially be revealing your existence to people who want to kill you."

"But…they're police!" Hermione looked horrified at the thought police would betray her.

Remus cut in. "Do you remember the civil war we described the night we met? That ended with more of an armistice than a victory, and many of the racists who fought on the other side were never punished. They're still out there, some in positions of real power, and they would kill you without hesitation if they had the chance." He sighed. "That war never really ended in some ways, and we've all fought hard for what peace we have."

She balled up her fists and looked down at the ground. "Fine. All three of you had better be bloody careful or I will teach you entirely new ways of suffering, do you hear me? Now get moving. I'm going to be losing my mind with worry the entire time you're gone. If you take too long I'm going to start rearranging things to keep from going completely mental and I'm going to begin with anything that looks like it's your favourite."

Sirius barked out a laugh. "We'll be back before you know it."

Harry nodded. "We'll see you soon, Hermione," he said, and a shroud of silence descended upon the old house with their absence.


A quick ride on the Knight Bus brought them to the nearest cross street to Hermione's building. "It's quiet out here," Remus said.

Harry half-expected him to continue and say, "It's too quiet," but it turned out Remus was just making an observation. "It's the middle of the day during a work week in a London suburb," he said. "This is normal."

"Good," Sirius said. "Pup, eyes forward and lead us to your witch's house. Remus, watch our backs. I'll cast the Human-Revealing spell every ten or fifteen seconds. But, first, Charms."

Sirius hit Harry with a muggle Notice-Me-Not Charm, Harry did Remus, and Remus did Sirius. Once any muggles who might have been able to notice them had magical inducement not to do so, they repeated the process with Disillusionment Charms.

As the one in the lead of the invisible process, Harry was primarily responsible for making sure they didn't run into each other. "Forward, slow walk," he said, and led the men cautiously down the street. Every so often, Sirius would whisper "Homenum Revelio."

With the exception of one short detour they took into the street to avoid an old lady working on a flower bed that abutted the sidewalk, they had a straightforward trip to Hermione's building. The front door of her multi-unit building was free of monitoring, and they found no traps or alarms until they reached the door of her apartment and Remus brought them to a halt.

"Wards," he said. "Amateurish. Whoever did this has a high opinion of their ability to hide runes, but lacks the magical sensitivity to realise the runes sing out if you know what to look for." He pointed to a line of small carvings. "It's just a simple monitoring and notification ward."

Sirius tapped his wand against his palm. "So do we trip them or go around them?"

"We did tell Hermione that we wouldn't look for trouble," Remus said reproachfully.

"But arse-kicking!" Sirius whined.

Harry sighed and drew on his Auror training. "I want to kick their arses, too, but we did promise and we don't have a right to risk her secrecy just to take out someone who's potentially a low-level thug. Remus, is the wall next to us clear of wards?"

Remus nodded. "The only wards are on the door."

"Good." Harry focused on the wall next to them on the landing and flicked his wand at it. A ripple of magic washed over it and the wood transfigured to paper. A large three-foot-by-two-foot wall-mounted calendar on the far side proved too much weight for the new wall material to handle and tore a long, thin hole in the wall as the nail previously holding it up dragged it down two feet onto Hermione's desk.

"Gentlemen, a new door," Harry said, and pulled the ripped paper apart down to the floor. "Sirius, cover the main entrance. If someone enters without a wand, Confundus them. If they have a wand, engage to disable unless they start casting Dark curses, in which case feel free to show them some Black Family magic."

"Looking forward to it," Sirius said.

"Remus, scan the room for alarms or such."

The older man did so. After a moment, he said, "You're clear to enter."

"OK," Harry said. Clambering over the desk looked like a pain, so he crept under it and pushed the battered old desk chair out of the way so he could crawl into the cramped room. It seemed just as they'd left it, but he knew appearances could be deceiving.

As soon as he confirmed the room was clear, he took a position with his back to the bookcase. "No hostiles," he told Remus.

"Coming." Remus scrambled under the desk with a modest amount of grumbling. As soon as he was in the room, he started scanning the personal items for Charms while Harry continued watching for intruders.

Remus methodically scanned all of the books, clothes, and any other personal items he could find in either the bedroom or the bathroom. After about ten minutes, he finally lowered his wand and stretched his back and shoulders. "There are some Tracking Charms on a few items, but no other alarms, wardings, or curses."

"Good enough," Harry said. "We can deal with the Charms later after everything is safely under the Fidelius."

"That thing is a pain in the arse sometimes," Remus said, "but when you need it, you really need it." Remus took over the watch on the window and sleeping area, freeing Harry to monitor the kitchen and bathroom area without having to turn around.

"Damn straight," Harry said. "Dobby?"

The eager elf popped up right on top of Hermione's ruined television. "How can Dobby help the great Harry Potter sir?"

"Without moving any furniture, fixtures, or the broken television from this room and the bathroom, I need you to relocate all of Hermione's clothes, books, and other personal items to the spare room near the drawing room in #12, Grimmauld Place.. Move them straight there without bringing them elsewhere first, since some items have Tracking Charms attached and we don't want to leave a trail."

Dobby nodded eagerly. "Yes, clever and wise Harry Potter sir!"

Books, shoes, and other items began to vanish before Harry's eyes, which if he was being honest with himself was a little disconcerting.

After a few minutes, the downstairs door opened and Sirius muttered, "Confundus." The door closed again, and he said, "Just some random guy with a briefcase. He now thinks he forgot something back at the office."

"Excellent." Harry hated to see someone inconvenienced like that, but this building was no place for muggles right now.

Dobby popped back up about ten minutes later, breathing heavily. "Dobby worked as fast as he could and is done. Does great Harry Potter sir need anything else?"

"No, thank you," Harry said. "You've been a huge help, Dobby, and we really appreciate it. You can go back to Hogwarts and rest now."

"Dobby is always happy to help the great and valiant Harry Potter!" Dobby waved enthusiastically and popped away.

"We're done here," Harry said. "I'm going to repair the wall and then let's head back."

Harry aimed his wand at the ripped paper and said, "Reparo." The rip closed up as if Sirius were zipping it up with an invisible zipper from the other side. Once the paper was as good as new, Harry cancelled the transfiguration and the wall returned to its original composition.

"Are you ready, Sirius?" Harry shouted.

"Definitely, Pup!" came the muted reply.

"OK. Three, two, one, apparate!" Harry shouted, and they simultaneously transported themselves back to 12 Grimmauld Place.

Reality stretched and spun around before refashioning itself into the foyer…and a bushy-haired missile flying toward him. Harry was much better with apparition now that he'd been through Auror training, but not quite so much better that he could handle a full-body tackle. As he crashed onto his arse, the missile said, "Iwassoworriedaboutyou!"

"Ow!" was all Harry managed in response. Of course, due to the disorientation and the pain, it wasn't until several seconds later that he managed to parse out what Hermione had said.

"What about me?" Sirius asked, affecting a pout.

"There is a Providence that protects idiots, drunkards, and children," Hermione said, still gripping Harry, "and you're arguably all three, so I wasn't worried for you at all."

Remus laughed so hard he bent double. Sirius just grumbled and said, "Just for that, I'm leaving you both on the floor."

"This woman," Remus said, trying to get his laughter under control, "just quoted Bismarck to insult you! She is a national treasure and should be treated as such."

"Who?" Sirius asked.

"Pearls before swine," Remus said as he helped Hermione to her feet. "Pup? Are you alright?"

"Not really," Harry croaked. He gratefully accepted a hand up from Remus. "I'll be right back," he said, and staggered stiffly off into the dining room and away from the others.

"He wasn't hurt on the mission, was he?" Hermione asked.

"Nope," Sirius said. "My guess is that he started throwing Healing Charms at his arse as soon as he turned the corner over there. He hit the ground pretty hard underneath you and there's not a lot of meat on him down there."

"Ask her where she learnt to play rugby!" Harry shouted in between Episkeys.

"I only had the one lesson!" Hermione said. "I'm really sorry!"

"This day just keeps getting better!" Sirius said.

"That's easy for you to say," Harry said as he limped back into the entranceway. "Hermione, I genuinely appreciate the warm welcome, but I'm pants at apparating on my best days and tackling me while I'm disoriented is just going to end badly for both of us."

"But, just so we're clear," Sirius added, "not me."

"Right," Harry said. "So please be more careful unless you're just trying to cause mayhem to entertain Sirius, in which case go to town."

"I will probably never do that," Hermione said, "except on his birthday, so I really am sorry."

"It's OK," Harry said. "I'm fine."

"And I," Sirius said with a huge grin, "now have something to look forward to on my birthday."

"Be careful what you wish for," Remus said. "Anyway, Hermione, all of your clothes, books, toiletries, and other personal possessions are in the second-floor guest room. You can sort through them at your convenience, but at least some of them had Tracking Charms on them. We'll need to figure out which ones and remove those. There was also an Alarm Ward on your door, but we used magic to go through your wall and reseal it when we finished."

She swallowed hard. "So someone is definitely still after me, then."

"I'm afraid so," Harry said. "Fortunately, none of those Tracking Charms can function inside a Fidelius Charm, and we kept to our promise not to trigger the alarm to lure anyone to us."

"Thank you," she said. "Really, you don't know what it was like waiting for you to come back. If you hadn't, I'd be trapped here forever, not knowing what happened to you and unable to leave because of the beacon attached to me and the fact that my only sanctuary would disappear from behind me once I got more than a few steps away."

"Oh," Harry said awkwardly.

"When you put it like that," Remus said, "your predicament sounds genuinely horrifying. I'm sorry I didn't think of it like that earlier."

"I'm sorry, too," Sirius said. "I may have tried to be a bad influence while we were gone."

"It's OK," Hermione said. "I'm glad all three of you went because I wanted all of you to stay safe more than anything, but…I'm not used to this. Until Harry took me out for drinks, the most dangerous thing that happened to me was dealing with an angry customer. Now, I'm hiding with the magical equivalent of the Specialist Firearms Command from people who want to kill me."

"The who?" Sirius asked.

"It was a compliment," Harry explained, then turned back to Hermione. "Sorry, I think we've done this sort of thing enough that we have a skewed sense of danger."

She smiled sadly. "I guess that's why you were willing to take me in, huh? I've been so focused on my own problems that I forgot how much danger I must be putting you in, but none of you hesitated for even a moment when you saw I needed help."

"Don't worry about it," Sirius said. "This is the most fun I've had in months."

"You do realise," Harry said, "that you're only proving her point."

He puffed out his chest and switched into a full RP accent. "As the host," he said poshly, "it is my duty to be agreeable."

Harry sighed. "As long as we have that settled, then. Anyway, I should probably get to work. Can you two clean those Charms off of her stuff?"

"Definitely," Sirius said. "Kick some arse out there today since we didn't get to earlier."

"No," Hermione said. "No unnecessary arse kicking."

"Of course not!" Harry glared at his godfather.

"I have no idea," Remus said, "how you managed to grow up smart enough to listen to Hermione rather than Sirius, but I'm very glad you did."

Harry and Sirius grinned at each other and simultaneously said "Mum" and "Lily."

"That would do it," Remus said.