"Are you sure about this, Elsa?"
"I am."
Honeymaren helped her comb the last bit of her hair back before she hid it under a hat, keeping everything neatly in place and out of sight. Elsa was dressed in the outfit Anna had made for her, feeling more at home in it than she had ever felt wearing anything else. Her chest was binded, her hair was tucked away and her makeup was done to make herself appear more masculine, or at least more androgynous. It was subtle, but it did the trick, making her face seem a little more angular than it was. She looked at herself in the mirror and she didn't look like a princess. She just looked like a person who was going to a festival. Who was going to have fun at a festival.
"You don't think this is a bad idea, do you?" Elsa asked.
"Would you listen to me if I said I did?"
Fair enough. Anna's very presence in the palace attested to that fact. "Probably not."
Honeymaren smiled, reaching out to adjust her fringe that just peeked out from below the brim of the hat. "Just be careful. The queen is in her study and is unlikely to ask for you since it's after supper, but just in case, I'll cover for you until you're back."
"Thank you."
They planned to get there on horseback, and Honeymaren had helped get Sven and Nokk saddled up in the evening without being noticed. Elsa approached the stables to find Anna already there, dressed in a long floral dress instead of her palace uniform. It was Elsa's first time seeing her in something that wasn't her uniform. She told herself to keep it together.
"Ready to go?" Elsa asked, opening the gates and giving Nokk a few pets.
"Ready!" Anna exclaimed before hesitating, glancing at Sven with a confused expression. "Is he gonna get down or…?"
"Get down?"
"So that I can get on his back."
Sven looked at Elsa with just as much confusion as Anna. "That's not how it… do you know how to ride a horse? Or a reindeer?"
"Well, no. But isn't it just like riding a bike?"
Sven and Nokk snorted, while Elsa hid a smile with the back of her hand. "No, riding a bike is like riding a bike. You've never ridden before?"
Anna shrugged. "Never had the chance."
The princess wasn't entirely sure about her plan, but there weren't any other options if they were going to make it out without needing to alert Kristoff. And the less people who knew about their escapades, the better.
"You'll ride behind me," Elsa declared. "Watch me." She grabbed the saddle for stability and got one foot in the foothold before swinging her other leg over so she was comfortably seated on Nokk. "See? Easy."
Anna hesitated, looking up with slight unease at the princess who now towered over her. "I don't know if I can get up there."
"Sure you can," Elsa encouraged, mustering up her most uplifting tone. She held out her hand which Anna hesitantly took, and she relished the sparks that shot up her arm. Maybe this was a bad idea after all.
"Put your foot through there." She guided Anna through the motions, Nokk actually helping her out by stooping a little lower so she had an easier time getting on. After a few minutes of fumbling, Anna managed to seat herself on the saddle behind the princess. Elsa's trousers made the position easy, but Anna's dress rode up slightly, revealing more of her creamy thighs to the chill of the night air. Elsa didn't allow herself the indulgence of looking down.
She took the reins and Nokk began to steadily trot out of the castle grounds. "Where is this festival exactly?"
"In the clearing in the woods behind the bakery."
"Got it."
Even though she was a princess who spent most of her time in the castle, Elsa knew her way around the kingdom. As future queen, it was a necessary skill. She navigated it with ease.
As Nokk trotted on, Elsa suddenly felt a pair of hands on her hips. She stifled down her surprise. They were two people on a horse. Anna was a new rider. Of course she would need something to hold on to. It didn't matter that Elsa enjoyed the way she was being held. It was purely practical.
"Anna?" she began, distracting herself form the feeling of Anna's fingers through her trousers.
"Hm?"
"When we're at the festival, I'm going to drop my voice like I did the first time I met you. It should go without saying, but please don't let anyone know who I really am."
She nodded. "Yeah, of course."
Elsa found herself more at ease with Anna's assurance. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."
That simple thanks had a feeling of warmth blooming in Anna's chest.
When they arrived, Elsa helped her dismount and they tied Nokk's reins to a fence along with a few other horses. Once he was secure, the women focused their attention on the festival they had risked so much to attend. They were mesmerised. Anna less so than the sheltered princess, but it was still a wonder to behold.
Stalls selling food, drinks and crafts were set up around the perimeter of the clearing, with a couple of tables for people to eat around. There was a stage towards the front, a small band already playing some Celtic jig. In the centre of it all, groups of people danced, some in groups, some with partners, all radiating pure joy and elation. Rows of lanterns were strung up around the clearing, casting everything in a dull yellow glow.
But the people were the most captivating.
It was a celebration of everything Elsa had been taught was wrong. Men wore dresses and wigs, their makeup done heavily and without shame. Women wore suits like her, some with hair so short it didn't even reach their collar. Little girls pretended to spar with swords. Little boys wore tiaras. Men danced with men, and women with women. It was…
Magical.
"Anna, this place…" She was silenced by her own awe, unable to find the right words.
Anna mistook that silence for anger, or disgust, or mortification, and she was suddenly overcome by nerves. "I know the palace doesn't know that this is going on," she said quickly. "But my friends told me about this place and I thought it might be your thing because of the suits and stuff but if you don't like it we can leave but please don't mention anything to the queen because I would hate for it all to be shut down and so many people could get into trouble…"
A small rubber ball bumped Elsa's thigh and she bent down to pick it up. She looked around and saw a little girl watching uneasily from a distance, so she tossed it to her.
"Thank you, sir!" the girl chirped before running back to her family, bouncing the ball on the ground as she went.
Sir.
Elsa glowed.
"Anna, I love it here," she interrupted. "And don't worry. You're keeping my secret, so I'll keep yours. I'll keep this."
Her shoulders sagged with relief. "Awesome."
"So what do you want to do?"
Anna looked around. Ronaldo and Olaf had told her about this, but this was the first time she had actually been. She spotted a stall near them, the smell of its wares drawing her in. "Wanna get sandwiches?"
"Didn't you have supper earlier?"
"You underestimate how much I love sandwiches," Anna deadpanned.
Elsa chuckled. "Okay. I'll follow your lead. Let's get sandwiches."
XXX
Elsa gawked as Anna practically unhinged her jaw to take a bite out of the thickest sandwich she'd ever seen.
"How can you possibly fit that much in your mouth at once?"
"Years of practice," she said with her mouth full, sending crumbs spewing all over the picnic table they were sitting at.
Elsa took a more reasonably sized bite from her more reasonably sized sandwich to hide her smile. She had shown great restraint at the stall, mainly because she wasn't all that hungry, but Anna had requested for every topping and fix-in at her disposal.
Around them, the festival was bustling with activity, but between Elsa and Anna, no conversation was needed. They were content with sitting in silence, soaking in the joy and love that surrounded them.
"This place is pretty incredible," Elsa breathed.
"I know. I've heard rumours but never actually been until… wait, I see them!" She began making wide sweeping motions with her arm, beckoning the illusion 'them' over. "My friends who told me about this place. Ronaldo! Olaf!"
Elsa didn't even have the time to worry about the extra company before the two men — Ronaldo and Olaf — joined them so they formed a little quartet. This was a festival. Of course they were going to meet people. It wouldn't have been just her and Anna. Elsa chided herself for not bracing for this.
Olaf immediately captured the redhead in a hug, nearly knocking the sandwich from her hands, while Ronaldo gave Elsa a once over. Oh no. She had met him before. The man from the hall. The one who led her to Anna in the first place. Surely, he would see through her facade. This would be the end of it all. Over before it even began.
Elsa tensed, waiting for that flicker of recognition, that light bulb moment where her cover would be blown and her true identity would be revealed for all the kingdom to scorn.
The moment didn't come.
"I'm Ronaldo." He introduced himself. "And this is Olaf, my partner."
Anna had friends in this community. Friends who were men who loved other men. Ronaldo, someone who attended palace events and shamelessly showed his face to royalty despite who he was and who he loved, he was part of this community. Was Anna a part of this too?
Elsa realised Ronaldo was just staring at her expectantly. Right. Introductions. This was what people did. Normal people whose names weren't internationally known.
"Elias." She blurted out the only name that came to mind. "I'm Elias. Elias, uh, Bell."
Ronaldo's gaze flickered to Anna and the realisation dawned on her. "Different Bell," she quickly clarified. "It's a common last name."
The man narrowed his eyes at her and she found herself frozen under his stare. Please don't notice.
He offered her his hand. "Good to meet you, Elias. Do you work with Anna in the palace?"
Thankfully, Anna took over, feeding Ronaldo some half-truth about their shared interest in men's fashion. It was a good thing too, because Elsa's thoughts were too wrapped up in the small web of lies she'd spun. Children called her 'sir'. People didn't bow to her. No one knew who she was or where she came from or had any preconceived ideas of who she was meant to be. Ronaldo accepted the name she gave herself without a second thought.
She was Elias.
He was Elias.
"Elias?"
Ronaldo's voice ripped him from his internal revelation, and he looked up to find all of them staring at him. "What was that?"
"We asked if you guys wanna dance," Olaf said, gesturing excitedly to the centre of the clearing which was beginning to fill with people as the music grew more jovial.
"Uh…"
"We'll join you guys later." Anna bailed him out once again, sparing him needing to fumble for his words. "I'm not letting these sandwiches go to waste."
"See you later then." Ronaldo gave Elias a final nod before he was swept away to the makeshift dance floor by a very excited Olaf.
Elias felt his lips tug up into a grin, something that came so naturally. Something that hadn't felt natural for a long time.
"Elias Bell?" Anna raised an eyebrow. "You couldn't have come up with something that sounds a little less suspicious? Bell isn't all that common, you know?"
"Well my real last name is 'of Arendelle' so I couldn't exactly use that," he defended. "I panicked."
"Okay, fair. But where'd Elias come from?" she pressed, unable to stifle her curiosity.
He shrugged as casually as he could manage. "It just came to me I suppose." Another half-truth or white lie depending on how you looked at it. "But… if it's alright with you, I want to be called that for the rest of the evening. I like it."
Anna nodded without question and smiled. "I like it too, Elias Bell."
XXX
After their sandwiches were polished off, Elias and Anna perused the stalls of villagers selling their wares, stopping at each one to take in all they had to offer.
"Hey check this out!" Elias turned to see Anna holding a mask to her eyes, a dark blue one studded with gems, feathers springing out from its corners. "This'll look good on you if you ever have to go to a masquerade event."
He pictured it in his mind. Princess Elsa would be sick and unable to attend the festivities, but Elias would don that mask and one of his new articles, captivating the floor of the Great Hall. They would admire him, but not give him a second glance. He would just be another attendee, not worth any special attention. The queen wouldn't even notice him.
"How much?"
By the time they had reached the end of the short row of stalls, Elias already had a satchel full of accessories thanks to Anna's convincing. He didn't feel bad about spending royal money on these things. He rationalised it as supporting small businesses in the kingdom, something any princess should do.
He began making his way back to their steeds when Anna grabbed his arm. "Hang on, where are you going?"
Elias shrugged. "We ate. We shopped. We've exhausted this place."
"Don't you wanna dance?" She nodded at the dancefloor which was still as lively as ever.
"I, uh…" His teeth worried his bottom lip. "I don't know, Anna."
Even though they were still a good distance from the nearest people, her voice was softer on the off chance that they would be overheard. "I thought royals were trained to dance?"
"That's exactly the problem. I've been ballroom dancing since I could walk. My movements are planned and practised, not like here." He gestured towards the rowdy crowd, dancing uncalculating and without fear. "I'll look out of place. It could give me away."
"Maybe you just need to learn to let loose a little."
Despite his protests, Anna began dragging Elias towards the dancefloor just as the band began to play a new song. As the first chords played, Elias was suddenly rocketed back to when he was a child. He danced with his parents to this song. Just the three of them. Royals couldn't conduct themselves like that in front of their subjects, so they had no musical accompaniment. Instead, Iduna sang, her perfect pitch forming melodies that serenaded them. Agnarr danced so enthusiastically that he slipped and ripped his trousers. And Elias had front row seats to it all, watching his parents just be human. Allowing himself to just be human. A carefree, goofy, human. Surely, he could do that again.
The music controlled him as he began to move, hesitantly at first but quickly finding his groove. His feet began to move quicker as the rhythm picked up, enthusiasm growing. Around him, everyone wore wide grins, wrapped up in their own happiness. It rubbed off on him, filling him with a child-like ecstasy he felt like he never knew before.
"Yeah, now you're getting it!" Anna encouraged, laughing as the prince let loose. He beamed at her, trying to pull off a ridiculous turn but ending up nearly stumbling. A blush spread over his cheeks when he righted himself again, but his smile never left.
As the song played on, the crowd grew more synchronised. Men and women joined hands, forming circles within circles of people. Elias found himself between two men he had never met before, who didn't look at him any differently. Who didn't see him as a prince, or even as a princess disguising herself, but just as another person enjoying their night.
And in the centre of it all was Anna. She twirled as the crowd circled her, dress flaring around her legs, braids trailing behind her. Her lips were fixed in a permanent smile so wide her cheeks must have ached. Elias admired her from afar, looking at her as if that smile held the answers to life's greatest questions.
It was at that moment that he realised he had dug himself into a hole he wasn't sure he could get out of.
XXX
As they rode back to the palace, Anna's hands once again on his hips, Elias felt lighter than air.
"Anna, that was incredible," he said for maybe the fifth time that night, his voice still dropped low. "All this time, Arendelle's been full of these amazing people and I had no idea."
"We're everywhere, you know? People who will love who they choose or present themselves how they want."
"I suppose I was more sheltered in the palace than I thought." Elias took a moment to register Anna's words. "When you say 'we're' everywhere…"
"I don't know what the proper term is, but you know what I mean. I've started to hear the word 'queer' being thrown around, but I'm not sure whether it'll stick."
He broached the next question with caution. "And you're part of this?"
"Yeah!" Anna's confidence surprised him. He supposed Anna knew he wouldn't judge. She probably wouldn't have bared herself so entirely under different circumstances, but it was still a shock to hear with such assurance. "I realised that I like everyone."
Elias was trying his best to wrap his head around all this new information. The fact that there were others like him was already enough to make him short circuit. "So if I'm understanding this correctly, this group… queers… it can be about how we dress and who we want to have relationships with?"
"I guess so." Anna shrugged. "I mean, I'm still pretty new to all of this too. I only started talking about it with this older girl who worked at the shop a couple of months before I left." Elias immediately felt a sharp pang of something – jealousy? – at the mention of Anna speaking to an older girl about these things, possibly experiencing these things with her. He put that feeling aside. He could come back to it later.
"It just encapsulates a lot of what society deems as 'wrong'. Like women who love other women. Men who love other men." Anna looked at him pointedly. "Or princes who were born princesses."
His heart lurched. "I don't know if I'm a prince though. Don't get me wrong, being Elias feels right, but there are some days where being Elsa feels right too. Does that make sense? Everything's all so confusing." His hands gripped the reins a little tighter.
"Hey, that's okay," Anna said comfortingly. "It's okay to take some time to think things through. I think the biggest thing about being queer is figuring out the best way to be true to yourself. And now you know you have people on your side who can help you out with that. So if there's anything I can do that might help you or feel more comfortable, you can tell me."
He pondered this for a moment, the palace side gate coming into view. "Is it alright…" Elias swallowed. "Is it alright if you ask me who I am when you see me?" Anna's silence told him enough. "Sorry, that was stupid, I–"
"It's not stupid," she interjected. "I just wasn't sure what you meant."
"If I'm honest, I'm not sure what I mean either." His words came out as a quick breath of air. "I think who I want to be is more of a feeling. And it'll change. I don't think I'll be happy being Elsa Monday to Friday and Elias on the weekends. I think it'll help if I can tell you when I see you, even if you and I are the only people who know."
After the briefest pause, she answered. "Okay, yeah." Anna squeezed his hip gently, and Elias didn't feel that burst of nervous energy he would have felt when Anna did something like that. He was too busy feeling happy. Accepted.
"You didn't have to do all this," he said softly. "Taking me out tonight. Talking me through all of these things."
"Yes I did."
"Why?"
"Because you're my friend and you were going through a rough patch," Anna replied simply. "It's what friends do. Every year, on the anniversary of when my parents died, the girls at the shop would take me out. We'd walk through the woods to picnic and eat sandwiches or go into town to buy ice cream, all that sort of stuff. It didn't make my problems go away. It didn't fix everything. It just helped me forget for a while, and sometimes that's all you need."
"I've never had a friend like you." Maybe that was why he was feeling such things.
"Well, now you can say you do." Anna's words were so sweet he could taste them.
They arrived at the stables and Elias hopped down before helping Anna, letting her brace her weight on him. He secured Nokk for the night, all the while thinking of something else to say to fill the torturous silence.
"Elsa."
And just like that, she was catapulted back to reality, Elias dissolving into nothingness. Kai emerged from the shadows, and Elsa could just about make out a very panicked Honeymaren in the distance.
"Anna, return to your quarters. I need to speak with the princess alone."
The redhead gulped, taking a step closer to Elsa. "Can I just–"
"Now, Anna." Kai was usually a docile man, slow to anger with a seemingly endless well of patience. It was one of the reasons Elsa loved him and trusted him so much. But he had the capacity to be firm, and that was when he became truly scary. Quiet anger always seemed worse than loud rage.
Anna turned to the princess. She was silent, but her eyes conveyed her message loud and clear. Don't let them take this from us. Elsa wanted so badly for her to stay, but she also didn't want to expose Anna to whatever reprimanding Kai had in store.
"Go," Elsa said gently. "It'll be fine."
When it was clear her presence would be more of a hindrance than a help, Anna begrudgingly left, leaving Elsa and Kai alone. Elsa braced for the lecture that was to come.
"What were you thinking?" Kai said before Anna was even out of earshot. "Disappearing like that right before your courting?"
"Kai, I–"
"Your mother asked for you, you know? Do you have any idea how panicked I was when I couldn't find you? If I hadn't drilled Honeymaren for an answer, I would have thought you ran away. I was this close to sending out a search party." He held his thumb and index finger out for emphasis, and there was barely a millimetre of space between them.
"I was–"
"You're lucky the queen bought my lie that you were just tired and went to bed early. What would have happened if she insisted? Or tried to look for you herself?"
"I know, I–"
"Your decision was irresponsible and wreckless and you didn't even tell anyone where you were–"
"I'm sorry!" Elsa blurted out before quickly collecting herself. "I'm sorry." Her voice was calmer now, upholding the perfect image of a pragmatic princess. "We just went to a festival in the kingdom. I didn't consider the implications of my actions, nor that my mother would look for me."
Kai's serious expression didn't change. "Did anyone recognise you tonight?"
"No." She answered in a heartbeat.
"This is important, Elsa. Think carefully. Nobody recognised you? No one at all?"
"No," she repeated. "I swear, Kai, no one knew. I went under an alias for the entire night, I bound my chest and did my makeup specifically to appear androgynous. No one recognised me."
"You're sure?"
"I'm sure."
He sighed, eyebrows furrowing as he pinched the bridge of his nose. When he looked at her again, he finally wore a soft smile. "Did you at least have a good time?"
Elsa returned it, the corners of her lips just barely turning upwards. "I did."
"I can tell. You have a different air about you. But we need to take more precautions." He gestured to Nokk and Sven. "No more riding off into the night without telling anyone. From now on, if you ever want to go on one of these excursions, you need to tell me, and Kristoff will take you."
On a different night, Elsa might have protested against being essentially babysat even as Arendelle's almost-Queen, but honestly, she was just relieved Kai wasn't barring her from any future nights like this. "I understand."
"Good." He grabbed the lamp from where it was hanging on the wall. "Let's go inside now. You have a busy day tomorrow, and as much as I enjoy you like this, you can't be looking like a prince for it."
This story is also available on AO3. I also have a Twitter where I post behind the scenes content, polls, writing updates and more. I also have a Tumblr! All of them are under the same username kalesalad003 and the links are in my bio!
