aghostownwhereibelong

supbrus

So I have seen a review from a user named, 'Atomssk' (excuse me if I spelled it wrong) and they commented on how Out Of Character the figures in the story are when I write them with excessive swearing, and they also said how it would make the story better if they stayed true to their original forms, and I got to say that I definitely agree with most of what which you are saying.

A character must be handled and crafted carefully, and one must take into account the behavioral tendencies and patterns of said character whether they are creating one, or are using established figures in established works.

When I'm reading a fanfiction, I would certainly like to see that the person didn't just copy paste one personality into another and take away from the original characters attributes in order for them to fit the mold of the story.

However, I do think that(with enough knowledge and compassion for a character) it is completely possible to emulate established figures in established fictions while tweaking behavior patterns to come across as more of an alive character on print.

Since I'm not drawing and writing a manga, I have to use what I can in order to bring the characters to life in more of a pronounced interpretation so that whoever's reading can imagine the character more vividly, while also find more reasons to endear themselves to whoever they're reading about.

So yes, I agree that I shouldn't just make someone like Byakuya a sleazeball or sum shit, and I will need your words to try to make these characters as faithful to the source as possible, while also pronouncing their personalities in expressive, or distinct ways to make it more enjoyable as a reader.

Naruto is 14 at this time, and he don't really got much manners,

So I've decided to take the filter off of the characters that are placed onto them to make it more digestible for anime watchers, or manga readers, and add realism and relatability to them.

With that being said, this is my first written work, so I'm bound to make mistakes, and constructive criticism and well-meaning opinions are ALWAYS welcome!

Thank you for sharing Atomssk, while I won't exactly alter the path that I've been using to approach the development of these characters, I will certainly try to make them as faithful to the og as possible!

I certainly hope that this message came across well, and don't be afraid to leave a review about your opinions and criticisms of the story so far!

Ain't much else to say so.. yea.

enjoy.

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may the story continue...


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spiRaled wiNgbeats/moNaRch butteRfly

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12:26 PM 1/4/20.

...*beep *...*beep *...*beep *

Our hero awoke to the sound of beeping.

The second thing he noticed was the distant smells of food in the air.

The next thing he noticed was the soft pillow underneath his head.

The next, was the taste of bile mixed in with metal on his breath, after that, he opened his eyes.

He was lying in a bed inside a relatively dark room in a hospital gown. Curtains were pulled over the window directly to his right hiding a good portion of the sun peeking in.

He heard yelling coming from somewhere distant in the house he was in, but he was surrounded by curtains so he couldn't see outside his area.

"Wha-what's going on?". Naruto asked no one in particular.

The beeping that he heard when he woke up had started to speed up. His body ached, making it hard to move anything, but he eventually persevered through the pain and sat up, legs hanging off of the bed.

Naruto had plastic wires inside of his arm, and bandages around his palms and forehead, telltale signs of the fight for his life he just came out of.

"I'm... in a... hospital?...". The boy then stood up, removing the attachments on his arm, when suddenly the monitor started playing a constant *BEEEEEEEP * tone!

Blood started to spill out of the tube that was inside of his hand, and it slowly pooled onto the white mat next to the bed and dresser.

"What the-?". Naruto then decided to pull the curtains back and walk towards wherever exit was, but he was finding trouble keeping a standard pace due to his pains.

He managed to make it to the open door on the other side of the room, just in time to bump into a large wall,"Ooompf!". Naruto had walked into a wall and fell down on his knees,'wow, I'm really low energy ', thought the boy.

Naruto decided to try again, until he looked up and saw that the wall he bumped into was offering him a hand.

"Hey, I didn't think you'd wake up so soon! I advise you to take it easy, or you might end up hurting yourself kiddo!".

Naruto saw that the wall he bumped into was a man of very tall stature. He had thin hair wrapped around his friendly smile, and and a hand outstretched to him.

Naruto stared at the cheery man in confusion,"Who the hell are you?".The man chuckled,"I could ask you the same question! Although that would be unprofessional of me. You showed up on my doorstep this morning with blood all over you, so i had to treat you wounds to the best of my ability!".

Naruto took the mans hand thinking, 'he seems like a cool enough guy, he is a doctor after all '.

"Oh, and my name is Isshin Kurosaki! Can't you tell by my name tag?". Isshin introduced himself with pride, pointing to the rectangle that showed his name and some other words.

"Oh, yeah I didn't see that. Hey- do you have food or somethin'?

I'm really hungry, and I don't know how I got here". Naruto was sat down on a nearby stool," Yes we do actually, my daughter is cooking a big breakfast! I'll give you a little something to hold you over until then, 'mkay?".

"Sounds great, gramps. I have another question: where the hell am I?". Isshin looked at his patient in semi-confusion, " Your at the Kurosaki Clinic. In Karakura. In Japan".

Immense confusion overcame the boy. " I have absolutely no idea what any of those things are". Isshin cocked his head slightly at this, then walked him over to the bed he was at.

"Ohh dear. This is quite a mess you made, kiddo".

Isshin reached for the bag on the metal pole Naruto hadn't seen before, and stopped the flow of blood, picking up the tube and asking him,"Could you hold this tube for a moment, son?".

Naruto obliged and held the tube the same way the man was holding it, as to not let the blood spill over. "Sorry about that". Was all he said about the accident.

"Eh, it's fine, I've had accidents like this before, so thankfully I have procedures put in place for spillages like this!!". The energetic man then took the white mat Naruto had stood on earlier and rolled it up.

He took the mat and left the room, returning not much later with two little girls in tow and a first aid kit.

"These are my BEAUTIFUL nurses, Karin and Yuzu! And THIS is Mr.Aid!". Isshin said, seemingly dialing the goofy up to ten.

"How are you doing, mister?". Said the girl with light sandy blonde hair.

"Uhh, I'm doing fine..? I think?". Naruto looked towards the tall man cleaning up the small bits of liquid in the floor with a mop that seemed to have spawned out of nowhere.

The black-haired girl named Karin started to dry the spots where Isshin was done mopping, while the sandy blonde-haired girl named Yuzu had gotten to get Naruto a cup of water.

"You seem to be fine. You were low on some blood upon your entry, and I had to test your blood to get you some more blood, to get back in healthy form! You had some pretty bad wounds, so I had to patch you up. And I have a question myself kid".

The doctor mopped the liquids off the floor and handed it and a bucket to his silent black-haired nurse-assistant-child, while the blonde one had left to attend to the food Naruto smelled in the air.

"Where are you parents, kiddo? They must be awfully worried about you". Isshin took the catheter he just realized Naruto was still holding and drained what was left in a small cup that he brought for that specific purpose.

"Um, my parents?". Isshin then sat on the bed and patted next to him. "Yeah, your parents". As Naruto sat down, he had contemplative expression on as he said, "I dunno".

"You don't know where your parents are?".

"No, I don't know who my parents are. I don't think I have any".

Isshin then adopted Naruto's same expression from earlier, confused at this development."Do you have any siblings? Any family, or guardians?". Naruto shrugged," I honestly don't think so. From what I can remember I just woke up in the middle of absolutely nowhere, and then suddenly so-","-Yo! How's the patient Dad?".

Naruto looked to his right as he saw a kid with the strangest hair that he had ever seen. ' If i could remember anything, this guy would probably be the weirdest dude I've ever met '. Naruto thought.

"Quiet son! The boy was talking until you interrupted him!".

"Oh, sorry man". Naruto didn't hear what he said because he was too focused on the newcomers hair.

"Alright, you can continue kiddo". The boy's scowl, which was already present upon entering the room, was deepening at the sight of our hero staring at his hair. "Hellooo?? You can talk now!". Naruto jumped, broken out if his trance, " Oh, shit sorry. Your hair is really weird".

"That's not important right now. And YOU aren't even much better than me!". Isshin held his hand up before Naruto could respond and said,"ANYways, excuse my son Ichigo for his RUDE interruption, you may continue".

"Oh, right! Well, I woke up earlier and was attacked by some animals". Naruto realized he was massively understating these creatures, but didn't get the chance to correct himself," Ah, that definitely makes since. But your story is still strange.."

Isshin took a pen that was peeking out from his coat pocket and said," I'm gonna use this pen to check your eyes now, so keep your open please". Isshin gripped the pen so that he pressed the button at the top with his thumb.

He brought his left hand up to keep his eye open, but suddenly Naruto's hand shot up and caught his hand, gripping it hard!

Naruto brought up is right leg and kicked him in the torso, letting go of his left hand.

"*OOMPF*". Isshin was pushed back a couple feet from the sudden kick, and fell on a knee.

"THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO STAB ME FOR!!?". Naruto exclaimed while getting into a defensive position atop the bed, his right leg backwards and hands up open and primed for attack.

"What the hell was the for!?". The boy named Ichigo said while mirroring our hero's stance. "RELAX you two! Naruto, It's alright. This is a flashlight". Isshin stood up and clicked the button on the pen, turning the light on for good measure.

" Perhaps I should have explained further. I need to shine this light in your eyes to see how your pupils response. It's gonna be a bit bright, but you'll be okay afterward, no need to worry son!".

Naruto calmed down at the patient explanation from the friendly man, smiling in embarrassment,"Ahhh, I see! Sorry for hitting ya gramps! Heheh". Isshin tried again once Naruto sat down, "Absolutely no problem, son. You got a strong ass kick there Good reflexes too". *Kik*. He turned the light on and carefully brought the pen up to his eye.

"What's your name, kid?". Naruto pondered this question for a few seconds, before suddenly gasping and,"Ah! Naruto!! My name is Naruto!". Naruto exclaimed, excited to have remembered something familiar after all this uncertainty.

"Good, good. Well Naruto, your pupillary responses are good, and you don't seem to be having any side effects from your injuries. I'm gonna check some more of your vital signs just to be sure, mkay?". Isshin left the room momentarily, and Ichigo sparked a conversation in his absence.

"So, how you doing?". Came the inquiry from the boy Ichigo.

"I'm doing okay, I guess. I'm really just trying to figure out what's going on. I don't even know myself, much less everything else around me. It's honestly, really scary". Naruto replied, wallowing in his fear, and overall discomfort about his situation.

"Wow, that sounds rough. I know that I can't really imagine what your going through right now, but I do know that you're in good hands. Whatever you need to figure out, you can definitely do it here, while your healing up".

The black-haired girl, who was apparently still here, glanced up at Ichigo in mild confusion and surprise. This level of empathy must be the a bit rare for the orange boy.

Just then, Naruto turned his head to the silent shuffling he heard from the open door,

"Alright, young man! Make sure your comfortable, relaxed, and we can get started with this checkup!".

1:20 PM 1/4/20

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Naruto laying on his bed, twenty minutes after the doctor had checked his vital signs. He was feeling twice the hunger than when he woke up, and was still aching everywhere.

His hands had started hurting more or less 5 minutes ago underneath his bandages, and he had a bandaid to cover up the small wound he acquired pulling the tube from out of his wrist.

He had taken off the bandages on his head, and went to the adjacent bathroom a couple beds down from him to try and assess the damage.

But when he looked, he saw that there were no traces of serious wounds, just a small scar alongside the back of his head.

His curiosity lingered, he took the bandages from off of one hand to see what it looked like, and saw that the black tissue that was once there before... disappeared? His wounds are sectioned from the palm, to the fingers, all placed that he gripped the metal thing from last night.

' maybe my skin looked black because of how dark it was '

Naruto surmised. Our boy then wrapped his hand back up as best as he could, then walked back over to his bed.

' I still haven't gotten the chance to ask about those weird demon animals I ran away from yesterday. I feel like they would probably not believe though, and I already look like enough of a nutcase to be saying I got chased by a furry monkey with CLAWS and WINGS '.

Naruto decided that it was best to keep the supernatural areas out of his verbal recall, he had nowhere else to go and would much rather stay in a house with people who knew how to cook.

Another ten minutes passed without contact, and the orangette boy Ichigo came around with a pair of olive colored sweatpants, a black long sleeve shirt, and some boxers.

"I figured since the only think you have on you is a hospital gown, you should try out some of my clothes and see if they fit before you eat brunch". Ichigo said with the same scowl on his face.

"Oh, thanks! I'll go try 'em on right now". And that he did.

Ichigo was taller than Naruto by two or so inches (Naruto is 5'4), but he's also lankier and for some reason likes wearing skinny clothes, so the shirt ended up fitting him fine, the sleeves being a bit long, and the underwear also fit fine.

The sweatpants fit the best, as Ichigo searched for an older pair of pants for Naruto to wear on purpose. "Thanks for this-Ichigo, was it?". Naruto asked after thanking him, walking out of the bathroom.

"Yeah it is, and no problem. No once to see your ass while they're trying to eat so I had to do something".

"Hehe, yeah can't argue with that".

The two boys found that they clicked well together and immediately started talking about Ichigo's school and friends.

"My friend Tatsuki doesn't live far from here, she's pretty cool, but can be pretty annoying at times. My other friend Keigo doesn't live very close, and he's annoying ALL the time. Like, seriously, he's a major pervert. Mizuiro is kind of normal, all though he's a bit of a player with older women, so that's one distinct quality. He can be annoying sometimes.

"I have another friend named Orihime, shes kinda interesting, and is a pretty cool friend, I guess. She can be strange sometimes though".

"Those are very in depth descriptions of your friends, brother!, Must be REALLY interesting people".

" I dunno, I don't need to give you their whole life story, I'm just telling you about them! 'Sides, you may never even meet them, and I don't even KNOW why I'm telling you about these people anyway!".

Ichigo then stood up to walk out of the room, when he suddenly stopped and walked back," Oh yeah, I've been meaning to say that you seem pretty calm for a guy who went through some serious injuries all in one night. You even lost your memory. How're you doing up there?".

Ichigo asked, pointing to Naruto's forehead," Well, I guess It's just because I don't know where to go about figuring out what's going on with me, so I don't see the uses in stressing about it if i can't fix anything by stressing about it".

"I guess that makes sense". Was all that Ichigo said before he started to walk through the door again.

Yet again he paused and asked," Do you wanna come see the house?".

"Sure, why not?".

For the next 6 minutes or so, Ichigo showed Naruto the bottom floor of his house and eventually sat him down in the dining room table.

Naruto saw that multiple clocks in the house showed 1:42, and Yuzu's cooking was just about done, clearly from the utensils that were set up on the table he was sitting at.

"So, how old are you?". Ichigo asked after they sat down, the only ones at the square table.

"Uhh...I think I'm.. four...teen?...". Naruto answered, questioning himself and his seemingly horrible memory. " What day is it?".

"Hold on, let me check". Ichigo pulled out a rectangular device with a design of a half eaten apple on its upper back.

It lit up in his face, and then it turned off after he pressed a button," Today is January 4th".

"JANUARY!??". Naruto exclaimed suddenly, catching everyone present in the room off-guard.

"Sorry, I thought it was October! It was really cold outside so I thought it was sometime after my birthday, which I think is in October. But I didn't know that-one, two,thre-THREE whole months had passed!".

"No offense, but your entire situation is just getting weirder and weirder".

"Yeah, I know that much".

"And it looks like your older than me too, although it doesn't sound or look like it. You have a weird voice. I'm thirteen, my birthday's in six months on the 15th.

Naruto was interrupted from forming any other that, when suddenly Yuzu called out and said, "Brunch is ready!".

A couple minutes after that, the entire family pooled around the dining table, the food and utensils already set and everyone ready to eat.

Naruto sat next to Karin on the longer side of the rectangular table, sitting across from Yuzu with Ichigo to his right.

Yuzu had cooked something called Kushiage, fried cutlets of skewered meat, Tamagoyaki, basically multi-layered omelette rolls, and Sekihan, red bean rice. Everyone had a cup of a liquid called Amazake, in them, and everyone dug in after giving their thanks.

Naruto observed the conversation that rose after everyone started eating, and learned a lot from the personalities of everyone at the table.

Ichigo was just about as much as he presents himself, constantly yelling at his father over his antics and wearing a permanent scowl on his face. Everytime he talked, it was often in response to something that someone said, and after all the talking the two boys did, he didn't do much initiating once brunch had started.

Yuzu, the sandy blonde girl, had come across as a kind girl, helpful and extremely friendly. A passionate person with an innate skill for caring for people that shows in a lot of the things she does and/or says. ' If I were to have her as a friend, then I'd be a pretty lucky guy! ".

Karin, the black-haired girl, didn't come across at all. The only emotion she appeared to showed anyone were irritation and that was all Naruto saw. For the most part, she was a blunt girl with an indifferent, ' dare I say ALOOF ', attitude, and overall approach to things.

Isshin, in the other hand, came off as a little bit different.

When Naruto talked to the old man, he came off as a friendly man who had a desire to help people, and a person with a very calm and relaxed demeanor.

Isshin was definitely most of those things, however, 'calm' and 'relaxed' did not fit his constant attitude.

Around his daughters, the goofier side of the grown ass man showed its true colors and wore them like a pride flag, him always finding something to be loud or comedic about, if not overall just theatrical.

His jovial disposition was the furthest thing from disingenuous, because all of his already happy traits seemed to amplify themselves around the right people.

Overall, these were really good people, and Naruto counted himself as lucky to find himself on the doorstep of a family willing to have dinner with him and treat his wounds.

He didn't even know where he was going to start in his journey to find himself, and his uncertainty of his entire situation was always disconcerting to him whenever he thought about it.

Naruto wondered if the creatures he fought with the night before were still out there, searching for him. ' I kinda left them in the dust on that fast ass train, but no one knows if they haven't continued pursuit after me. Hell, I don't even know if they were REAL in the FIRST PLACE ". Naruto thought while eating his tamagoyaki.

'Actually- if those weird ass creatures weren't real, I wouldn't have these claw marks on my waist. Or any injury I got from yesterday's battle...' Naruto's line of thought eventually circled back to the Kurosaki family, and the observations he made of them in the time of them all eating dinner.

And one important note that he made, was that the random poster of the orange-haired woman on the wall was dead.

And she was Isshin's wife. ' Wouldn't at all be hard to tell that she's this guys mother ', came the words from Naruto's train of thought, in reference to Ichigo.

He picked that up over comments from Isshin and subtle expressions from each of the Kurosaki children in passing conversation. Isshin often jumped at the poster and started talking to the woman on the wall as if she were still here, and referenced her in past-tense.

While Ichigo in his siblings all got noticeably got quieter for split second per person. Ichigo's scowl turned more into a frown for a couple seconds whenever he was mentioned, and Yuzu's common reaction was to always look downwards at nothing in particular.

He couldn't look at Karin's expressions (not that he thought sbe would have any) because he would come off as weird (ESPECIALLY to Karin) because he was sitting right next to her, and she's short.

These astute observations from Naruto helped him understand this family a little bit more, and he started to bond with them slowly in which the Kurosaki weren't aware of yet.

About 40 minutes after brunch, everyone kind of did their own thing. Karin sat down in the living room to watch more TV, Ichigo went upstairs, and Yuzu collected the dishes for washing(he had offered to help her many times, but she was insistent in him relaxing).

Isshin had stayed at the table to read a magazine, and everyone had gotten back into their regular routines.

"Well, since we don't know what to do with you yet, I suggest you make yourself at home, son". Isshin had said to Naruto about 4 minutes later.

Naruto was now lying on his back on top of the roof of the house, relaxing in the mix of cold and warmth in todays weather.

' Things are really weird for me right now. I ate some really good food, got some really cool scars, and I have absolutely NO idea where my life is going.

' I wish I had some silver of an idea. I know my birthday, I think.

I remember my name, for sure. And I ACTUALLY have some memories of my past, but nothing is vivid enough for me to make some sort of timeline. Urggaaah. I hate how complicated this all feels'. Naruto spent the next twenty minutes or so pondering about his situation.

He hadn't even realized time was passing, and only snapped out of his train of thought when he heard his name being called by a boy," Naruto! What are you doing up there!?". Naruto sat up and looked down to his right, seeing an orange boy flailing his hands at him.

"Your Dad said make yourself at home, so I decided to climb on your roof. What's it look like?". Naruto said, almost shockingly casually.

"It looks like you want to die sitting up there! So come on down before you seriously hurt yourself, AGAIN!".

Naruto decided to oblige, since this wasn't even remotely close to being his house, and jumped down the front of the house onto the parking lot Ichigo was standing in.

"WHAT THE- HOW DID YOU DO THAT?".

"Do what?". Naruto asked in innocent nonchalance.

" Dude, you just JUMPED off of two story building and landed like the laws of pain don't apply to you!!".

"You ask a lot of good questions Ichigo, and the answer to that, from what I van tell at least, Is Instinct". Naruto tried his best to explain, having already asked himself most of these questions coming from Ichigo.

"Alright, well, don't do that shit again If you want to be able to walk! I don't care If you have rockets for legs either!".

Ichigo said. "Sure I guess". Came the immediate reply.

Naruto was walked inside of the clinic, facing the same routine that Ichigo and his family set up for themselves.

'' I wonder what's going on with me. I honestly can't stop thinking about it, but I can't do anything about it now'.

Naruto walked inside the house, and plopped on the couch next to the black-haired girl, Karin.

' For now, I'll just have to get better .

Who knows what else this crazy world has to offer?'.

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OWARI/FIN/DAS ENDE/THE END.