I clung to my revelation, but my lips remained sealed to the fact,and I told no one. I can imagine some people would laugh at the idea, the notion, not understanding how I possibly could be in love with someone like the lightning slayer. I clung to my revelation, because honestly it was nice to know, I could really smile at the knowledge because it explained a lot, and the tattoo resting on my heart -while it still stung,- was warm for the first time. Then again, I had not expected to see him swoop in as a hero might to bash our enemy's head in. Naturally, I had wanted to talk to him afterwards, not to profess my yarning feelings for him, rather just to simply have a conversation and take comfort within the fact that he was around. However, being thrown seven years forward because of a sudden -dire, dragon attack no one had expected was rather a pause on my entire plan: So was the horrid motion sickness on the boat home- throwing up leaning over the guard rail was not fun -though I do think I saw Laxus lean over it once too. Another deterrent to my frizzling want to simply talk to the man was grasping and processing the shock at witnessing what our guild had become in our absence.

I'm still in shock sitting at a small table in the corner with a mild irritation running through my blood, I can't understand properly how the guild could take such a beating. I find myself sitting back, though my action causes the back of my wooden chair to let out a disconcerting groan in the wood, I choose to ignore it, pretending it can't be too bad. Shifting my eyes around the room, everyone who had been gone are settling back into the atmosphere, perhaps a little uncomfortable for the infamiliarity in the smaller building. Though those who had been here for awhile were grinning wide and ignoring the fact that the space was simply too small. My eyes catch with someone elses however, staying locked in a orange sunrise and inwardly I can feel myself swoon at the occurrence, that doesn't stop me from forcefully yanking my gaze away to stare at the -suddenly interesting- wall. I pull my arms to my chest and cross them, rather peeved that my heart was beating so fast. Embarrassingly, I can feel a small heat rise to my cheeks and I know that I'm blushing. I hadn't noticed he'd come inside after his talk with gramps, but I had been hoping when the master asked the tall man for a private conversation; that it would be about his reinstatement into the guild.

"Natsu." Again I didn't notice him walking up to my table and standing over me, and he was, standing high at six-three, all muscle, with daunting orange eyes staring down at me, lips set in a frown. I wait for him to say something else, maybe something profound, or more likely a mocking over our fight seven years back. My patience thins at the wait, though with him I think it lasts longer then with most people. Finally; "I need to talk to you outside. Now." He says it in a quiet voice, compared to his usual uncaring baritone, and I find myself following silently behind. The door lets out a moan as it opens and he holds it for me to step through, the sun is casting pink over the clouds and the treetops are beautifully enlightened by the glow. It is silent as he awkwardly sits down and crosses his leg on the stump nearby, already I can feel my skin getting a little itchy with nerves; he doesn't normally talk to me afterall, well, he used to when he was a teenager and I was an eager-eyed kid. His arms are crossed and his eyes are glaring- not at me, but at some unknown thing, his mouth is almost in a pout- but I don't think that word would quite fit.

"I've been doing a lot of thinkin' for awhile now." I wait, I guess if it were anyone else, I would have started getting impatient and started yelling at them to get on with whatever they wanted to say. But with him in front of me my mouth pretty much clamps itself shut, not in fear or discomfort; rather the worry that I'll say something stupid to scare his attention away. So I wait in the silence of the outdoors, enjoying the sweeping winds and sounds of birds chirping in the distance. I shuffle my foot, I am not good with silences.

I can still feel the heat in my cheeks from earlier though, perhaps moreso, perhaps odd, but I feel exposed. "Natsu, you probably won't get this at all-" He pauses, then glares at the ground in thought. "Look," I can feel my eyes widen at the sight as his head lifts and while his own eyes are still cast away, looking decidedly uncomfortable, I see a pink stain on his cheeks. It is quiet, but to my advanced hearing it sounds clear in my ears, almost ringing with intensity. "Wanna go on a date." It is a question, but he forms it as a statement, though my heart still leaps with it alongside the tattoo in my chest, I put my hand over my breast and feel its quickened pace, I can tell I have turned ten shades redder, and although its completely uncharacteristic of my normal aggressive stance, my knees wobble under me. I do notice that my mouth is agape after a moment, but its only for a moment before my cheeks start to ache with the smile that threatens to break my face.

"Yes!" I shouted out my answer, which adds yet another shade to my face, but I cannot soothe down the stupid grin straining my jaw. When I see him turn to look back at me its with a widened- rapidly blinking gaze, I can see his lips turn up, and after a second his lids drop and that rare affectionate expression softens his face. The sight is a gorgeous one, it smooths out his features, untenses his muscles, and donates a smidge of compassion onto his normally stoic face. Really, his eyes are truly warm in those moments, near glistening with the tender light of the dusk overhead. My blush holds steady and although I'm pretty much a confident person I find my fingers suddenly beginning to twine together and the ground is a rapidly fascinating subject for my stare. Maybe it is because I had been rather hopeful for such an instance for so long -knowingly and oblivious- that I found myself unable to a find a word and my normally running mouth is clamped shut. But the small chuckle he lets out, quietly, is right near me and I can see the tops of his shoes along with his red pants. It has me look-up with a snap of my neck, only to see his soft smile and gentle irises staring down at me.

"I'm glad," there is a pause where his eyes flicker away and he sighs slightly before seemingly pulling his chest tight. "I really do like you Natsu." Then he pauses again and a look both disheartened and uncertain churning his face from something so easing and soft, into a charred discomfort. "Still, I'm not… Comfortable saying or admitting anything to anyone. Even knowing that I am attracted to you, that I feel way more for you then anyone else in the guild." He pauses again. "That I'm probably…gay, at least for you. Still, I can't- I can't-" his hand runs through his now sunset glowing hair, a large sigh of frustration heaving his chest. "-bring myself to acknowledge it around anyone else." It rattles me slightly, though my surprise is minimal even as it settles around me as a dowering air to my previous excitement, I can comprehend what he means at the least; I don't particularly care about what people think of me, maybe my fighting prowess, but thats about it.

The only reason why I have not told anyone my own -obvious, attraction to men and being gay therein, is because no one has ever asked and I don't see any point in just randomly telling anyone. Laxus is different, however; he may be somewhat nonchalant about the opinion of others, but he is not unaffected, as I am; He was raised as the grandson of one of the most powerful men in history, constantly hidden in his shadow and therefore observed and compared to by his grandfather's abilities and accomplishments. His father too swayed the mass opinion of Laxus himself, as the man was simply dark by the eyes of the people and that rained down on Laxus's reputation, though his mother remains rather unknown. And that intense observation had -at least probably- built in him a constant need to do better, more powerful, more domineering in the eyes of others. And being gay- or at least going out with a man, is pretty illegal.

I can understand his hesitance, and I know that regardless of the implicated secrecy, I want to be with him."I get it." It comes out a whisper, maybe a slight bit bittersweet, only because the thought of being a dirty secret does not sit well on my skin, but I accept it anyway because the tattoo on my chest is practically jumping at the thought of potentially being his boyfriend, even if our relationship is kept hidden. I know what I want for myself. He smiles softly again.

"I'm sorry Natsu, but thank you, for understanding, I know its not right for me to do this to you." My smile comes automatically at seeing the guilt he clearly bares for the situation and his own chaotic emotional upheaval at how to handle it. Still, my excitement is bubbling in my chest, and though I had to keep it all secret for Laxus sake I am joyous at the fact that he had feelings for me at all. I would yell and shout, proclaim my happiness as loud as possible,- if I could, but I do manage to restrain myself, and seemingly instead I start giggling, a lot. It does not suit my normal nature, because I can feel bubbles running through my whole body, but I can't say I don't enjoy the feeling- because it is the complete opposite to the sensations of the burning intense emotions I usually feel, intense sadness, intense anger, but the bubbling giggles of joy feels almost like a fluffy blanket surrounding me; the best way to describe it would be that I feel soft, exposed, and unusually -pleasantly- vulnerable, at least when around him.

I look up at him, and the smile that he is casting at me rolls my stomach with small tingles which are ridiculous in nature, and aggravating, in the knowledge that they are basically the fluffy clouds of a crush being acknowledged. I know I remain blushing, as if my face is permanently set to remain flushed- for happiness or embarrassment, I cannot be sure. Comforting however, is the fact that while the gentle glow of his smile is rather radiant unto my eyes, so rare and thus so special- it is the fact that his cheeks are crested with a smudge of pink; that which does not fall even as he seems to come to himself and his express once more becomes the hardened visage it commonly remains. The sight does not ache at my mind to see, it does not weigh down on me as a disappointment, because a stoic demeanor, a macho aura, with a mildly mocking type humour is who I had come to fall in love with- regardless of the gentle expression he just presented to me. Neither is a facade, rather they are alike two sides of a coin, and it is comfortable to see both, because I imagine; not many have.


The next day, the coin is turned, fully to the unamused, uncaring side, I do not mind seeing it, in fact, to see him shrugging off a conversation with Mira- which had obviously been uncomfortable; with merely a raised brow, continual blank expression, and walking away. That, I manage to find oddly attractive, alluring, I would say to see his macho side come out in full after just having seen a sweetened visage. The wood in my back, and under me is sore against my skin, all the more obvious as heat begins to once more arise in my body for the fact of simple desire, with the air beginning to feel suddenly humid around me- and as I should have many minutes ago, I rip my stare away from my crush- and future date. Already the warmth is in my cheeks, bathing them in colour and exposing me to teasing from my fellows. Though the meager hope remains that no one will see, it is crushed by Grey's lingering cold aura and near smug expression as he stands over me -not by much- with a hand on his hip, and irises just begging for a fight.

It rattles at my mind very quickly, fast irritation scaring away the uncomfortable feel of my wooden chair, or the heat of my cheeks. "What you staring at Ice-prick?!" He doesn't get to reply before I'm flying a fist towards his jaw, I feel it briefly but I mainly enjoy the slight crack sound it made as he landed hard on the with the joy I'd been so nonchalantly throwing around the guild, the resonance of the punch on my knuckles is a rather nice addition in tandem. Of course however, red flys inbetween me and my attempt to keep Grey on the wood, Erza sweeping in and disrupting the moment, but though it usually sparks my ire, I feel nothing above my gay excitement. I am near to measuring each shift of the shadows and in awaiting the night; it is after all, my first outing with the man standing uncaringly at the small bar. Though I do catch his rather blank gaze for a moment and I see a fractional amount of warmth bleed into orange. I can feel my cheeks turning pink even as Erza begins to scold slightly.

I stand blushing ridiculously, staring in what I can only assume to be adortion written on my face. Entranced by the sight of sun-shone gold hair, sunrise eyes, and a smirk on scarred lips which only I could see, in the mere seconds before it melted into a stoic frown once more. The creek of the old floorboards and brief grunt the man lets out does attract my attention to Grey, who is glaring at me having gotten somewhat close to me in my mental absence. "What's got you so weird lately?'' My brow furrows as I wonder what he means truely, because I had only been so happy for the past day and a half, which isn't long enough to ask. Then, it comes to me with the creeping pace of a turtle, as I stand in complete silence just staring at him with narrowed eyes; then realizing that he's talking about how I've been for quite a while, maybe since I figured out my feelings for Laxus, I had been more recluse because of it, straying too much from a confrontation with Grey or away from conversations- which was not normal for me. Growing silent whenever I took notice of the tall blond man's lacking presence, almost desolate with the understanding of my feelings and the familiarity of him simply being around, it conflicted too much with my boisterous and aggressive personality.

Automatically, the words spew from my mouth in my common stance irritation at everything the other teen- man, says, even does."I don't know maybe you have a problem!" Theres a scratch in my throat as it comes out growled, snarled. Acknowledging, and hating the fact that he may be correct, that I have been acting odd in comparison to what he and everyone else was used to; because of a stupid crush I've potencially had for years, and started swooning over recently. The ice mage only gives a snow crested glare, more ireful then he normally casts my way, he's scowling crouched over with his abs flaunted. Yet, he sighs heavy, and runs a hand through dark midnight hair, exasperated.

"Whatever." Then, suddenly uninterested and opposing his usual behaviour, he relents and sits down with a rather despondent expression melting onto his face.