Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Chapter 18
Draco stood frozen as she pulled the sleeve of his shirt up, revealing the Dark Mark burned into the pale skin. There was no use in stopping her… she already knew.
His brows furrowed and he was pulled out of his state of shock at being caught when she bent over, gasping for breath. What the fuck was happening? Was she hurt? The cut on her leg looked deep but she'd run this far...
"Hermione." he called, panic rising within him as he took a step forward and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"D-don't touch me!" she cried, roughly pulling herself out of his grasp as she stood straight, chest rising and falling with her heavy breaths.
The way she was staring at him… fuck.
"How could you?" she whispered, tears flowing freely from her eyes. "You're a… a Death Eater. You let me… you let me give myself to you! You tricked me! I…" she choked back a sob, wiping furiously at her cheeks.
"I gave you everything! I gave you all of me… I helped you, listened to you, let you touch me…" she trailed off, her voice cracking.
He opened his mouth, though no words came out. What the fuck could he say? He hadn't expected to see her again.
"Tell me… everything." she begged. "Please. I need to know everything." she stared at him with her watery, caramel eyes and Draco felt his heart twist and his hand ache to touch her.
"I…" he began. The least he could do was tell her, at least so she wouldn't have to waste anymore time dwelling on him when he left.
"After my father was captured… the Dark Lord thought the best punishment for my father's failure would be to replace him with me." he swallowed hard, averting his gaze from hers. He couldn't face her… he was too much of a coward.
"I was given a task. To kill Professor Dumbledore." he watched as she sucked in a sharp breath. "I tried so many fucking things. Nothing worked. Until… until I found the cabinet. I knew that if I repaired it I would have a way to transport my Aunt and the rest of them here without dealing with the Hogwarts barriers. It was a perfect plan but… I couldn't fix it. Not until-"
"Not until I came and handed the solution right to you. You made me an accomplice in his death..." she finished, her grip on her wand tightening. "You knew how I felt about you and you took advantage. You knew I would do anything for you." she breathed.
"It wasn't like that." he said quickly, glancing over her shoulder to see Potter and Snape still duelling through the tree branches. "At first… yes, I thought I could use you to fix the cabinet. But I never thought anything serious would come from it. I hated you then… I didn't think… I never expected to fall in love with you."
She shook her head, stepping forward until they stood inches apart. "You used me." she said quietly. "You betrayed me. You lied. You-"
He suddenly bent his head, capturing her lips in a kiss. He didn't know why; it certainly wasn't the right moment for a kiss but he couldn't help it. He didn't know when he would see her again and even if they both made it out of this war alive she would never give him a second glance again.
A dull fire roared within him as he felt the warmth of her lips against her own and he raised a hand to tangle in her curls.
She gasped against his mouth before raising her hands to his shoulders and shoving him back. "Don't!" she hissed, staring at him for a few seconds before she stepped forward.
He held his breath as she stared up at him before she raised a hand, slapping him across the cheek. His head snapped to the side with the force of the slap and he gritted his teeth at the sting.
She didn't stop. She raised her other hand, slapping the other cheek before shoving him back again. She stepped forward, slapping anywhere her hands could reach, her nails scratching at his skin. She hit him as much as she could, pouring her anger out onto him while he wand lay forgotten on the ground next to her.
Her sobs escaped her throat at last and he stood, taking all of her hits. The sound of her crying distracted him from the physical pain and he stared at her as she pounded her fists on his chest.
"I hate you, Draco Malfoy!" she cried as she slapped him again, the pressure of her hits getting harder and harder with each attack. "I hate you so…" a choked sob cut her off. "You ruined me… you…"
Her fists slid down to his chest and she tilted her head down, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs.
He really, really hated himself. Here stood the perfect Hermione Granger. The once innocent, trusting, kind hearted Hermione Granger who would do anything for those she loved. And he had ruined her. She was right. He had ruined every single part of her. She would never forgive herself for unknowingly helping him assassinate Dumbledore. She would never forgive herself for sleeping with a Death Eater. She would never forgive herself for not figuring it out before it was too late. She would never forgive herself for falling for him…
He clenched his fists at his sides as she cried into his chest. He didn't deserve to touch her. He had fucked up her life and led Dumbledore to his death. He had led Death Eaters into the safest place for witches and wizards. He had never turned back… never told her what was really going on. He had never given her a chance to step away from him.
"I'm…" he began, swallowing thickly as he heard footsteps approach them. He glanced up towards the noise.
"Come on! They can't have gotten far!" he heard a man yell up ahead.
She stepped back, her hands shaking at her sides. "Run." she said, so quietly he almost hadn't heard her.
He stared at her in shock. She was telling him to run away?
"You'll be sent to Azkaban and… I can't…" she shook her head, raising her wand and pointing it at him. "Run!" she repeated firmly.
He stood frozen, the dull ache of her hits from just a few minutes earlier returning. "Hermione…"
"Don't call me that. You… you don't get to call me that." she said sharply, tears flowing from her eyes once more. "You're a liar. And I never want to see you again. I never want to hear from you again. Leave. Now!"
A bright orange light shot out of the tip of her wand and Draco quickly stepped aside, dodging the curse. "Let me-" he tried.
"Draco!" Snape pushed his way past a tree branch, approaching the pair. "We must go. Now!" he ordered, ignoring Hermione as he grabbed Draco's arm, leading him back the way they had originally been running.
Draco resisted, pushing against Snape. He wasn't done. He had to talk to Hermione… explain to her how fucking hard this had been for him to do. How many times he had thought about telling her. How he had had no fucking choice; the task had to be done!
"Draco if you do not come right now you'll end up in Azkaban. Your father has nothing left to lose then and the Dark Lord will take it out on Narcissa-" Snape continued quietly next to him.
Draco's head snapped up to face Snape. No. His mother was the reason he had done all of this. He couldn't let it all go to waste.
He nodded slightly, letting Snape pull him along. The two ran through the trees and Draco glanced over his shoulder one last time.
Hermione sank to her knees, her glassy caramel eyes locked on his silver ones with a look so heartbroken that Draco could've sworn he heard his own heart break deep within him.
"Well done, Draco." Voldemort quietly praised as his Death Eaters returned from the assination of Dumbledore.
Draco stood before the snake-like man, his mask of indifference in place. He couldn't let anyone else find out how hard it had been for him to complete his task. How he had wanted to give up so many times…
"I will admit… I did not believe you would be able to complete the task." the Dark Lord continued, circling around Draco as the rest of the Death Eaters stood around them. "Nagini was quite looking forward to having you and your mother for dinner."
The Death Eaters around them cackled with laughter and Draco glanced at his father who stood straight, his own mask of difference on his hollow face.
"But as promised. You shall live, as will your mother. You have done me a great service, Draco." Voldemort stopped in front of him.
"Thank you, my Lord." Draco said quietly, bowing his head.
Voldemort hummed his approval before he waved his hand, dismissing the Death Eaters. Draco gritted his teeth, waiting until the Dark Lord disappeared before he let out a breath, shutting his eyes.
Images of the broken Hermione Granger he had left behind flashed in his mind and he snapped his eyes open. Fuck.
Apparating back to his room in the manor, Draco ran his hands through his hair and down his face as he sat on his bed. He had done it. He had completed his task when no one thought he would be able to. He hadn't killed the Headmaster himself but he has certainly laid out the perfect way to murder the man.
He had restored his family's honour in the Dark side… he had pleased the Dark Lord, ensured his and his family's safety. But at what cost?
"We can hide you more completely than you can possibly imagine. What is more, I can send members of the Order to your mother tonight to hide her likewise…come over to the right side, Draco…you are not a killer…" Dumbledore's words replayed in his mind.
He had been so close to lowering his wand and giving in.
But you didn't. He thought as he rubbed his eyes with his fists.
"Fuck!" he yelled out, reaching out and snatching the vase off his side table.
He stood, smashing the vase against the wall before he did the same with another. He cursed and yelled and unconsciously let a few tears escape his eyes as he destroyed his bedroom.
He sat in the middle of the tarnished room a half hour later, head in his hands. He couldn't shut Dumbledore's last words from his mind. He couldn't shut the image of his Headmaster falling to his death from his mind. And above all… he couldn't shut out the large, watery caramel eyes staring at him with the utmost betrayal shining in them.
"I hate you!" Hermione's words rang in his ears and Draco squeezed his eyes shut, raising his hands to cover his ears as he rocked back and forth on the floor, trying to tune it all out.
"Malfoy said he got them in through some cabinet. He-" Harry explained as Hermione, Ron and Ginny sat in the deserted common room.
The students, professors and Order members had stayed back after the Death Eaters had escaped to pay their respects to their fallen Headmaster and the four teens had just made it up to the Gryffindor Tower. Harry had wasted no time mourning, he was already planning his next move and how he would avenge Dumbledore's death and take down Voldemort for good.
"It was me." Hermione said in a quiet, dry tone.
"What?" Ron asked, as the other three turned to face her.
"It was me… I was the one who helped him fix the cabinet." she breathed, her eyes watering as she stared at the fire.
She didn't want to tell them but she knew she had to. They had the right to know. "A few months ago I… I saw Dra -Malfoy in the boys bathroom crying. I stopped to see if he was alright and… he told me he had something to do. A task." she sniffled, fighting back tears as her friends listened with bated breaths.
"He opened up to me and I… I fell for it." her voice cracked and she lowered her head in shame. "I helped him fix the cabinet, but I had no idea what it was for. He… he told me it was a pureblood tradition and that he had to have it done by the end of this year." she forced herself to look up, her eyes locking with Harry.
"I'm so sorry," she felt the tears escape her eyes as Harry stared at her in shock. "I was stupid and I had no idea and I-"
Ron scowled, cutting her off. "It all makes sense now. You running off late at night… us not working out. Malfoy acting all jealous when we were together." Ron's face grew red in anger as he stood.
"How could you, Hermione?" he continued angrily. "How could you be so stupid? Dumbledore is dead, and it's your fault-"
Ginny stood, cutting him off with a sharp look. "Ron!" she hissed.
Hermione wiped at her tears, shaking her head. "N-no. He's right. I let you guys down… I let everyone down. I'm so sorry." she cried.
Ron shook his head, a look of disgust on his face before he stormed up to his dorm.
"Harry…" she said softly, staring at her friend for any response. He had remained silent during her entire explanation.
"I… I can't do this right now." he muttered, shaking his head and slowly heading up to the dorm as well.
She let out a quiet sob as she watched him go. They hated her. She hated herself.
"Hermione, it's okay." Ginny said softly, reaching out to wrap her arm around Hermione.
Hermione sniffled against Ginny's shoulder. "Thank you, Ginny," she said softly. "I don't deserve your kindness. Ron was right."
Ginny shook her head, rubbing her shoulder softly. "It wasn't your fault Hermione. You didn't know."
Hermione bit her lip, resisting the urge to protest. It was her fault. If she hadn't helped Draco fix the cabinet, none of this wouldn't have happened. If she had figured it out earlier, she could have prevented it all. If only she hadn't been so blindsided with love.
The girls sat, holding each other for a few minutes before Hermione pulled herself up. "I… I should go tell McGonagall." she said miserably.
Ginny eyed her for a few seconds before nodding. "I'll see you in the morning for the train back home." she said softly.
Hermione nodded, wiped at her wet cheeks before she took a deep breath. She had caused all of the horrible things that had happened that night. And now she had to face the consequences of falling in love with Draco Malfoy.
A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger in the last chapter! I've been very busy lately but here is an update! What do you all think?
