It's a double update weekend, woohoo! Enjoy!


I was up in the canopy long enough that the sun had begun to properly dip towards its bed. We would be staying here tonight, I think. Good thing too, my head, heart and body were all entirely spent after that conversation with Valerie. Seeing through her lies was simple enough, but that didn't avoid her taking a toll. Like a river rushing past, and me having to trudge through to the other side. Making progress but damn was I tired. But still, there were things to do.

And so I headed back down and sought out the tent where Eren had been taken after our connection knocked him sideways – the poor kid, idiot though he was, shouldn't have had to feel my fear. I could barely handle it yet, let alone him. Yes, he had already seen far too much of the horribleness in this world. But he was still a kid.

Due to the time of day more and more tents were popping up, but I knew Eren hadn't been taken far from where the Commander and my Captain were talking to our prisoner. Two branches over a tent was set up and cadets stood outside. I don't think they were there to guard though, more to be present if help was needed. Poor kid.

I nodded to the cadets and cleared my throat just outside the threshold. "Can I come in? It's Robyn."

"Of course." Mikasa called.

I swallowed hard and stepped inside, immediately faced with Mikasa's dark and tired eyes. Locked in that gaze, I felt her worries sinking into me. She was as lost, if not more so, than the rest of us. And once again she had to sit by and simply hold his hand. I knew the feeling. And then she stepped towards me and put her arms around me. I hugged back, feeling her relax a little, a small shudder running through her as she suppressed a sob.

"Hey love, you okay?" I murmured in her ear as she continued to cling.

She sniffed before she nodded against my shoulder, doing her best to pull things back together. "Sorry, just give me a moment."

"I'll give you as many as you need. But hey, we're all okay, Mikasa. We have the bitch in custody... It's okay."

"This time." She breathed before letting me go and nodding. "I'll let you two talk. Armin said he needed help with his gear." And she headed out without another word.

I turned to Eren. "How you feeling?" I asked, voice small as the guilt nipped. He had been shaken up so badly because of me, after all. He was still looking pale, but the haunted look was gone from his eyes at least. My main worry was that this connection would have a physical toll as well as a mental one. So far I couldn't see evidence though.

He nodded. "I'm fine, Mikasa made too much of a fuss as usual."

"She worries about you because she cares, don't go demeaning that, mister."

"I'll second that." Armin laughed as he walked in, gear checked presumably, or Mikasa had simply wanted an excuse to go get some air. "Although I'll also point out the slight hypocrisy in you of all people, Robyn, having a go at someone for underplaying people's affection."

My mouth opened to retort, but no words came. He had me there. Since he had taken on the power of the Colossal, I had seen a shift in Armin - no pun intended. His guilt remained. Hardly helped by people like Flock occasionally making childish digs. But even so, his confidence had bloomed. Hanji regularly brainstormed with him on mission plans, or theories about Vincent's work and Eren's Fathers. Armin was a vital part of the Scouts. And I think he had finally started to realise that, and believe it.

He came closer and patted my arm. "How're you doing after that Valerie woman dropped those bombs?"

Eren jolted. "She's been questioned? Shit. I told you I was gonna–"

"You'll not be missing anything if you shut up and listen." Armin laughed and shook his head, encouraging me over to one of the camping stools by the bed. "But seriously, Robyn, how're you faring? Sounded like a mess."

"She's just some rat scurrying about in the light." I shrugged and they both frowned at me. I snorted and hung my head, scraping my hair back, trying to let the pieces settle. "She claims to be a Sanshi. I don't particularly see that as relevant, but from what she says she would be my Aunt."

They both shivered.

"So, your father's sister?" Armin's tone was far better suited to a ghost story round the campfire in all honesty.

"It's a blatant lie, c'mon Armin, you're meant to be the clever one right? She also claimed my mother was attached to some kind of nobility or royalty, it's all bullshit." They looked more confused. "Why aren't you two laughing with me? This shit is funny!"

"Why are you immediately dismissing it?" asked Armin as he tied his hair back. "You could be for all you, or we know. After all how much do you actually remem–"

"Armin!" I laughed. "I am not royalty or nobility, or any of that! My family is about as noble as a mangy stray humping the carcass of a rat. End of."

"I'm with Armin." Eren shrugged. "I've always sensed something about you, Robyn. Something different."

"Yeah, I'm a nutjob, not news." I retorted and they shared a dismissive look. Would Levi have bought into this shit as well? I shook my head and tried to remember why I had even come into this bubble of irritation. Right. To check on Eren. Simple.

Eren sighed. "Look, we'll put that aside for now, fine. But what do you think this connection means?"

"I was hoping you might know. There's nothing in your Father's journal? Or… Memories?"

It was hardly a subject I liked to drag up for him, the fact he had those memories was a reminder of how he had gotten his powers. And, on top of that lovely detail, that he had only eight or so years left to live. If the notes were to be believed. I admit, I had rather filed that information away for myself. Sitting with them both, so young, so determined to continue this fight, it ached like nothing else to consider how little of it they would be allowed to enjoy. Unless breaking the cycle helped. It might. But I was sure Armin had already theorised such things, and until we got closer to finding out how to do that, there was little point in pinning hope to the notion.

Eren frowned and looked to the side. For a moment I worried I had said the wrong thing, but Armin just gave a small smile and got comfy, patting the stool next to him. Ah. Eren was presumably trying to look back, to pinpoint something. I stayed quiet

Armin leaned a little closer. "How was the questioning going, by the way? Did the Commander call for a recess or… Oh."

I think he could read the pinked cheeks that suddenly burned into place pretty clearly.

"I had to get out of there." I murmured, clasping my hands tightly. "I'm also keeping in mind that everything out of her mouth, that we don't know ourselves, could be total bullshit."

Eren gritted his teeth. "That's all it ever is, isn't it? Secrets and lies. Then more secrets backed up by more lies, on and on. We got to the basement. That was meant to be… To…"

Ah. Of course. For so long that had been his goal, that key around his neck, that vague memory of his Father right before it all changed. The basement. The light at the end of the tunnel. Which it was, in many ways, but it also just led to more tunnels. More twists. More headaches. Perhaps I should have kept in mind how much that would have shaken him. Then again, I suppose I had my own issues to be wrangling. As much as I cared for the kid, he wasn't my responsibility.

Eren bared his teeth. "It's just never gonna fuckin' end, is it?"

"Eren, don't–"

"No! I felt it, Robyn. I felt every god damned ounce of fear you felt in that moment, when you realised who the Shifter was. Or temporary Shifter, or whatever. I know how hard it hit you. Don't downplay that. It's all bullshit, it's all sickening, it's all…" He gasped and tugged on his hair. "Get to the basement, that was the plan, retake Maria that was the goal. We did that. We've done that. And now what? Now… Now we're still just scrambling, fighting every damn second to even take a breath! That basement was–"

"Was a damn room under your house." Levi snapped from the tent's opening.

No point lying, I jumped a little. He was sneaky when he wanted to be.

I turned to him, seeing that stern gaze, knowing I would have to bite my tongue very soon. This was my Captain, not my Levi. He nodded to me and Armin, stepping in closer, lingering at the end of the bed, managing to loom within the small space. Silence thickened; but there was no blood upon his sleeve or boot, so presumably the questioning had remained civil. Or at least controlled.

"Sorry Captain, Eren was just–" Armin's mouth closed, quieted by the long look from those steely eyes.

"I know well enough what Jaeger was doing. As usual, he was being a whiny brat." The Captain raised a hand as my mouth opened to argue. "So what is it? Were you expecting to get to that basement and for the world to be fixed? For you to be the Hero of humanity and the world to never be rainy again?"

Eren stared at his hands in his lap.

Levi clicked his tongue. "Respond, Jaeger."

"No, sir."

"No? Sounded like it just now. Sounded a lot like it." Levi leaned closer. "Not having all the information. Not knowing what can be trusted. Moving onto the next mission. That's what being a Scout means, it's what being a Scout is. So if you're not on board yet? Speed the fuck up, Jeager, the last thing we need is a Titan throwing a hissy fit every time it gets confused."

Eren looked up, a worrying amount of defiance in his gaze. "What're you suggesting, sir? That I just accept that as the way things are and move on? I can't do that, I have to keep fighting." Eren's chin jutted out with his pride. A flash passed over Levi's eyes. This would not be pretty. But when the smirk appeared I felt a little cold, Eren, you damned twit.

"You have to keep fighting?" The captain repeated slowly.

Eren nodded. "Yes."

"Oh... That's what you were doing just now? That's what this is?" Levi gestured to the bed. "I understand you got blindsided just now with feeling what Sanshi felt, I can comprehend the fact it's another weird Titan magicky shithole of a situation. But what if we had been attacked? What if that Shifter White Cloak bitch had more serum to use?"

The boy wavered before the man.

"You're just lying in bed, wavering over those emotions, reeling from her pain. I get it. There's not tangible way for me to understand the fear of being presented with someone who spat at you through bars for weeks on end, who actively enjoyed your torture. But you know what I can understand?"

Eren swallowed hard, eyes darting to me for a moment.

My Captain continued, neck tight as he did what he could to rein in his temper. "I can respect the fact that she stood there and didn't let it show, I can be amazed at the fact she kept her cool and didn't let the enemy see a damn flinch. You didn't expect it. You're just a kid. I get that, I can understand it to a certain degree, but at some point Jaeger you have to stop being a self-indulgent little shit and step up. So yes, you should still be fighting. Every damn day. Post basement or not. Fight as hard as you fucking can. Or at least half as hard as Sanshi."

Shit. I kept my eyes down. I didn't agree with this, but I could also read a room. There was more going on here than was being blatantly said. Things had gone on between Eren and Levi, I'd seen it when they spoke outside of Keza's party. I had seen it in the way Eren raged against how Levi was when he returned.

Levi shook his head. "You made me a god damned promise, and I expect it to be honoured."

Promise? I had no idea what he meant, but it seemed more than likely it was about me. And I took that from Levi's rage, from the way Eren now guiltily looked towards me and how Armin was looking literally anywhere else in the small tent but at me.

I stood and put a hand on Levi's shoulder. "I'm sure Eren intends to keep it... Whatever it is."

My Captain took a step back. "Actions speak a lot louder than words."

Eren sat straighter. "I'll do better, sir. I swear."

"Mm, I'll believe it when I see it." Levi then took a long breath, mask slipping back into place, before he cleared his throat and looked to me. "The Commander's keen to continue. We took a break when you left, meet you there?"

I nodded.

He dipped his head and left, the tent flap swaying in his angry wake. For a couple seconds I let the silence hang there, the only noise being the gentle slither of material on material.

What the hell was this promise? "Eren, I–"

"He's right. It's fine, I just need to keep a better lid on things. Not let them knock me sideways so easily."

"For the record?" I clenched my hands tightly, still staring at the tent flap. "While it may have knocked you for six, and you're as pale as milk, I'm fucking glad you still feel things that openly."

"H-Huh?" Eren looked to Armin but the blonde just shrugged as I turned to them. "Robyn what do you–"

"Be knocked down for a bit. I realise that means I'm in direct conflict with your superior officer, but take it for what it's worth. You've been through hell. More than that, you've been through it and come back. As a child. And you can still feel things so openly? You can waver, and hold onto those around you. Good. Fucking wonderful as far as I'm concerned."

Armin smiled softly. "You're getting better at it yourself, Robyn."

"Heh. Trying. But this promise… Between you and Levi, Eren. What the hell is it about? Because as scary as he seems, and all masked up and stoic, I know Levi wishes he could feel openly still. I know he does. So what the hell is at the root of that shitshow that just happened?" I sniffed. "And why the fuck is it about me?"

Eren blushed and looked down. "I was there for the six months he was gone."

"I'm aware."

"He… He trusts me to look after you if something else happens."

"There's a lot of stuff happening. Specify?"

"No like… Something to him. That I can protect you if–"

"Oh for fuck's sake." I made to leave. "Fucking pissing contest men with their fucking need to be knights in shining…" I stopped as I raised the tent flap and looked back at them both. "Armin, get him to rest. And rest yourself too. Dis-regard what that twat just said, it wasn't your Captain it was a damned fool of a man avoiding talking plainly because he knows he'd end up with my boot up his arse. I swear to fucking… Nevermind. Rest. Both of you."

They nodded. "Yes, ma'am!"

"Good." I stepped out and looked around. Tea. The idiot would have gone for fresh tea before heading back to see Valerie, probably to get me some as well. I fired my wires and headed in that direction.

I stepped inside and found only one other cadet present. "Could I have some privacy, please?"

They nodded, and in all honesty looked relieved to escape. Presumably his bad mood had even overflowed into the sacred tea area.

Levi had his back to me, and he sighed as we were left alone. "Am I sensing disapproval?"

"Ah, not got your head that far up your arse then. Good to know!"

He turned, teas in hand and raised a brow. "So I guess we're not discussing this as Captain and–"

"Not a chance, not when you left the Captain side out of it yourself. I thought you were stepping in with that front and centre, but nope, not a whisper of it to be found." I stepped in close. "I know you love me, and I trust that you do your best not to blur that line, but for fuck's sake, Levi, what was that?"

"That brat made me a pr–"

"Yes, your oh-so-bloody-vague promise. To keep me protected." I faked a swoon and then stood back and spun on the spot. "Because as we all know, I just love being considered a damned damsel. So is that it, Levi? You just see me as someone in need of a rescuer now? I'm nothing but a victim to you no–"

"That's not it." He rolled his eyes and I stared at him. He winced. I think he had the good sense to realise that hadn't been a good idea. "I'm sorry. You're right, the lines got blurred. But he came at me all haughty and shit at that party, and so I made the little brat swear on it all. To at least make those damned feelings of his for you serve more of a purpose than making me…"

"Making you what?" I laughed. "Jealous? He's a child you fucknugget!"

"Child or not, I can't help feeling the way I f–"

"Yes you can. For one thing you can go to some bloody therapy about it, for another you can, oh I dunno, talk to me about it!" I threw my hands up in the air. "The kid got slammed with every ounce of panic and fear I felt when being presented with Valerie all of a sudden. The bitch that tortured me endlessly, encouraged those animals to attack me, and then popped up right before we found the full extent of the control that phrasing can have on my body. That woman is a core fear for me. Like the boogieman tenfold. Hundredfold!"

Levi set the teas down and pinched the bridge of his nose. "We all get sc–"

"No, no. Don't demean it to a mere spook. You know that terror Levi, and the fact it knocked Eren sideways? I see that as a good thing. He's a kid. He shouldn't know how to deal with that! How to stand there and take it like rain on your back."

Levi looked ready to argue, to bring his own amount of fire to the forefront. But then he stopped. He looked me over, his gaze meandered in the direction of Eren's tent. He sighed. Weary, annoyed, regretful. And he nodded. "No one should."

"Exactly." I panted, stepping in close, cupping his face to make him look at me. He did. Though with an awful lot of shame coming from him, as well as embarrassment. I put my head to his. "I know it was based in a concern for me, a love of me, but my god that was a dumbass move, Levi. So very, very dumb."

He closed his eyes. "I should… Talk to the brat."

"I already did. You're shaken up by the bitch being here too, I know that. Just… Keep those lines in mind, Captain."

"I'm sorry."

"Not really me that needs the apology, but appreciated." I kissed the end of his nose and stepped away, taking up my tea. "Now then, shall we?"

"You mean back to the bitch?"

I chuckled. "One way to put it, sure."

He blew on his cup. "Hanji changed her mind, she suggested we take the night. Patrols will be on the lookout for anyone that might come looking for her, and I have my own theories about who or what might do so but… Well, we could both do with a proper breather. And I agreed. Though I didn't agree to the whole night, but a proper slice of time away, a few hours to clear our heads."

I nodded, looking towards the tent and then giving another nod. "Alright, Captain."

"Thanks, Brat. Let's just enjoy our tea?"

"Sounds perfect."

As we stood outside, and enjoyed our teas for a moment, I had enough space in my head to think back on Levi in that tent with Valerie. I had been asking the questions, acting the hardass, but how had he really felt? What was going through his head right now? Not only had Valerie tormented him, but he had seen from the front row my torments as well – at least a lot of them if not all. It wasn't a competition on who had the most trauma, but I had a feeling I had likely worked through mine a little more than he had. Or could?

Eventually he stepped in a little closer and touched his mug to mine. "I really was wrong to downplay the fear aspect. That was shitty of me, I'm sorry."

I nudged his mug back. "Knee-jerk reactions are hard to hold back. I get it."

"More than that though…" He looked to the side. We were completely alone, and those within the tea tent were busy chatting and enjoying their tea. They couldn't hear us at all. He looked back to me with what I feared might be shame, but I stayed quiet. Let him speak. Give him that space. He sighed. "I've not felt powerless many times. Not since being up top at least…"

Being within the Underground likely made someone feel powerless in a lot of ways. He had discussed that part of his past a few times, but there would always be new layers to learn about. I stayed quiet, but held his gaze when he met mine. Nothing but openness. I could take it all, I wanted to.

He sipped his tea, breath coming out white in the colder weather. "But for those six months, under that bitch's thumb, I was at my most powerless. Even more so than when I was a damned kid sitting in a room with his mother's corpse. I could have left, I just didn't want to. But in that captivity, I was entirely at her mercy, entirely her pet to play with. And she knows that. Of course she does. So as much as I know she's in chains, I know I could beat her bloody if given the chance, I still know that she has seen me that useless… that… powerless."

I stepped in close and kissed his cheek. He stared at me blankly, clearly having no idea how to process that gesture but he didn't have to.

My heart was so full, despite the bitter subject matter. "Firstly, thank you for trusting me with that. Can't have been easy to say it aloud."

"Not my finest moment."

"Not what I meant." I kissed his cheek again. "Secondly, I understand. Believe me, as much as I was talking big in there, and as much as we have her on the back foot, I had it in the back of my mind how low that woman had seen me. And you're right, she'll always have that… But then again, she has that and even so, we have her beat for the time being. She had us that low, that broken before her, and yet here we are… Still fighting, still being the stubborn bastards she fears so much she has to destroy us."

He was looking down for a while, mind ticking over my words, processing it, and in all honesty I expected to see smoke coming out of his ears any moment. Then he drew a long breath in. Then he released it very slowly.

"You have no idea how much easier you make all this, do you?"

"Me?" I laughed softly. "Making things easier for once? My, my, breaking the habit of a lifetime over here." I winked and he set down his tea before he pulled me into a proper kiss. His fingers twisted into my hair, his other hand gripping my waist tightly, insistently. I met him halfway, tilting my head, seeking that warmth, glad to know that push and pull of want continuing between us. Far too soon, we came back up for air and I breathed deep. "But I'm glad, jokes aside. Have to wonder sometimes if it just comes out like hot air."

"Not at all. Because I know every damn word is sincere." He murmured against my lips. "Part of your charm, amongst many things. You can bullshit like no other, but in moments like this… No one is as blunt as you, Robyn Sanshi."

"Hey… Levi?"

"Mm?"

"I also meant it when I said thank you." I set aside the tea and put my hands on his chest. "You being able to trust me with that truth… Means a hell of a lot. Helps me have faith in myself, y'know? You having faith in me, I mean."

He smirked and put a hand over one of mine. "Likewise."

And as we stood there in the now entirely darkened night, the stars winking above and the canopy rustling alongside, my mind wandered back to a rainy afternoon. A simple day. A simple space. And yet such a pinnacle moment for us. He had breathed so contentedly and asked that simple yet daunting question. Marry me. And I had said yes, and I had held no fear. So much had happened since, too much really, but that ring was still there, and so was that hope. A lack of fear wasn't something I would be able to have for a long time, no doubt the same was for him, but maybe we could start rebuilding towards that, via the hope instead.

I took his hand in between mine and squeezed lightly. "Levi, I know things are mad right now but…"

"When aren't they?" He snorted.

I nodded. "Exactly. The snows are late this year, but once we find the sea and maybe do some patrols after that… We'll likely have some time back at HQ to just be… us, right?"

"Right." He eyed me. "Where're you going with this, Robyn?"

I bit my lip. "Well, I keep thinking about that ring…"

"Oh." His eyes went wide for a moment. "I'm not the only one then, good."

Seemed we were on the same page once again. I stepped in real close. "So it's not too fast for you?"

"No. You?"

"No."

He smiled softly and put his head to mine. "Shall I ask the Commander at some point if I can have it back then? Finally get it resized and on that finger?"

"I think that's an excellent plan." I kissed him tenderly.

Since I was a child, the concept of Marriage had been an odd one. Of course it had. Look at the mess it got my mother into for all those years. But between me and Levi it felt less about the officialness of it all, it was more about daring to be that hopeful for a future. Where he could shop for tea at his leisure, and we could sit at a cafe on a golden afternoon, simply enjoying the sunshine. Getting married was us both daring to be loud about the fact we had those hopes. We had those simple dreams. And in the face of so much fear and uncertainty, it felt like the bravest time to be taking that step.


Aaand the wedding is back on, whoop! Cya next time!