Inspired by "Chaldean Tails" on Reddit by-who am I kidding, it's me.
"Wendy, no."
"Not now Carla." Wendy made a shooing motion with her hand without looking away from her new lacrima "Phone".
"You have an addiction." The white exceed stated.
"No, I have terrible luck."
"Wendy-"
"Wait!" She moved her face closer to her phone and carefully watched the screen.
A black and blue background with light blue lights forming a circle spun around before turning gold and-
"Servant...my name is Sieg. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm just an ordinary homunculus-"
"YESSS!" Wendy raised her am in victory and fell back on her bed. Carla sighed at her antics with a shake of her head.
"Honestly child, do you even need Sieg at Noble Phantasm 5?"
Wendy shot her a dry look. "Who's the one who spent our money on Atalanta again?" Carla blushed and looked away.
"GODS DAMMIT!" A chair crashed into a wall before shattering into pieces.
"Gray-sama, please calm down!" Juvia held her hands in a placating manner to the fuming ice mage.
"Again! I got Mephistopheles AGAIN!" Gray growled to the point he was frothing. For whatever reason, the most common Servants he summons are Mephistopheles, Shuten Dōji, Ibaraki Dōji, and Minamoto-no-Raikou. "That clown f*ck*r is doing this on purpose! He KNOWS how much I hate him! He's watching me now! Laughing at my misery! I can feel it!"
"Gray-sama, please remember it is just a game." Juvia wailed, clinging to his shirt before it was stripped away.
"NO MORE! YOU HEAR ME, MEPHISTOPHELES?! YOU WON'T GET THE LAST LAUGH!" Gray watched with vicious glee as he burned his newly acquired Servant...
By starting an actual fire in his house and throwing his phone in.
"HEEHHAHAHEHEAHHEHEAHEAHHEHEHHEHEAHEH!"
"GRAY-SAMAAAAAA!"
Lucy, desperately ignoring the crying of several old men in their guild who failed to get their waifus, was contentedly planning out her servant roster around her favorite servant, Hans Christian Anderson beside her best friend Levy, who was coaching Gajeel as to why NOT to use Siegfried.
She looked to her left, only to find Erza slam her head into the table with a loud "THUNK". She winced and quickly looked away. As a knight herself, Erza was hoping to get members of the Round Table or the many versions of Artoria Pendragon. However, whether it's fate or not, she keeps getting EMIYA Archer, EMIYA Alter, and Senji Muramasa. The only knight in her account was the gifted Bedivere at Noble Phantasm 1. Mirajane never missed an opportunity to rub it in Erza's face about her Arthur Pendragon (Prototype). Mater Makarov kept summoning old man Servants like Moriarty when he's been aiming for Scathach.
Then there's Natsu.
"Alright! That's what I'm talking about!"
The cheery Dragon Slayer was ignorant of all the glares he was getting from his fellow guildmates. Natsu was laughing unabashedly at getting another Servant to Noble Phantasm 5. For better or worse, Natsu has had absurd luck.
First 5-star Servant he ever got?
F*ck*ng King Hassan.
HOW?!
He wasn't even two days into playing!
She grumbled under her breath before sighing.
Natsu also mellowed out after playing FGO. He learned a lot of valuable lessons from the game and the characters within it. He was always a friendly and considerate person, it wouldn't have surprised her if he considered his Servants to be real friends. Any attempts at correcting him were met with extreme violence.
She shuddered at a distant memory
Natsu was dead set on this way of thinking ever since he played the Main Interlude, SERAPH.
She went to her friend's page and saw Natsu's favorite servant.
A level 120 Noble Phantasm 5 Grailed out Meltryllis.
Sei Shounagon was a close second.
Natsu became a simp, but it was hard to tell him when he looked so genuinely happy.
"Oh, I managed to summon the Lostbelt 6 Servants! Hello Castoria, Morgan, Melusine, Barghest, and Baobhan Sith!"
Okay, maybe it was okay to commit bloody murder.
She and several other guildmates stood up to beat it into Natsu's head that the Servants weren't real. They probably never existed in the first place.
Somewhere far far away...
"Someone looks happy." BB dryly said to a flustered yet smug-looking Meltryllis.
"You're just jealous he prefers us over you." Meltryllis coyly said with a sadistic smile.
"Yeah! Us and Cha-mas are even tighter than Heracles's pants!" Sei said over the Alter Ego of Pleasure's shoulder.
"Senpai is in a phase right now, he would later see just how reliable this kouhai is. BB struck her chest out proudly, but upon not getting a response, she found the two servants both turning their attention to the screen where Servants could view their Masters.
"At least listen when I talk to you! Muoh!"
Elsewhere...
No one: "..."
Mephistopheles watching Gray: "HEEHHAHAHEHEAHHEHEAHEAHHEHEHHEHEAHEH!"
