CH 8
The Heart of the Matter
"Two and two, necessarye coniunction, Holding eche other by the hand or the arm, whiche betokeneth concorde."
T.S. Eliot
"Mobius deserves someone like Sigyn." I said to Sylvie, noticing she appeared thoughtful, staring off into the branches now we'd momentarily left the branch in Ancient Egypt.
"She's too nice." She finally commented. "Too... sunny."
"Exactly." I smiled. "She's the Goddess of Fidelity and Victory. I cannot think of anyone more perfect."
"For Mobius?" Sylvie asked, chewing on her bottom lip, still staring at the branches. "Or, for anyone?"
"For Mobius." I glanced at her, nudging her shoulder with my arm. "There's a version of me on another Asgard who, strangely, is actually courting a version of Sigyn. It's all rather disconcerting." I admitted. Sylvie tensed at my side.
"Well, if Lokis' are meant to lose, I guess it makes sense having a Goddess of Victory on your side." She muttered.
"I knew it, you are jealous!" I shoved at her shoulder.
"I'm nothing of the sort."
"You are." I shook my head, trying to understand it. "Why?" She only shrugged. "Tell me."
"I don't know." She let out a huff. "At first, I guess I had my reasons, but now it's so obvious there is something growing between her and Mobius, and I'm glad. He deserves to be happy; I can see how much he envies a life on the timelines, wants a family of his own, yet doesn't wish to leave the TVA. Sigyn could be that for him, he could have the best of both worlds."
"So what is the problem?" I asked gently. She stared balefully at the furnishings before us.
"You saved us. You saved us all. And I..." She sighed. "I guess I wanted to return the favour, but Sigyn's swept in and saving the day. The apples, her idea about the loom, I feel..." She laughed, twisting her hands together. "I don't know."
"You have saved me more times than I can count, Sylvie." I turned to look at her, caught her flighty gaze, and held it. "I don't know what I mean to you, in what capacity, but you mean everything to me, in every capacity." I took a steadying breath. "All those times I went back, over and over to try and fix the loom, all these years learning everything I could to save us all, it was you who kept me sane, often while driving me insane, you who kept me searching for a better way. You were the better way." She stared at me, silent, those blue-grey eyes wide. "You saved me from myself, and taught me how to save myself from myself."
"But you aren't saved." She whispered, shaking her head. "Not from yourself. Your burning out and I, I don't know what to do other than force food onto you."
"It's enough."
"It's not, Loki. I've been here a handful of times now, and each time there is less of you. Have you seen the harm you are causing yourself?"
"No." I sighed, and reaching for Asgard 96283, summoned a mirror letting it stand before where I sat, reflecting us both. What I saw of myself sent fear rushing through my veins, cold and dangerous.
The horns were possibly my best yet, exactly as Sigyn had once described them, my hair had grown some, curling just past my shoulders, but it was lacklustre, and my appearance only became worse the more I observed myself. My irises were not their usual blue-green, but a washed out grey-green, my pallor was much paler than usual, save for the dark circles under my eyes, and my cheekbones and jawline were far too prominent. Hollow. I was a hollow shell of myself.
"Now do you understand why we are all so worried, so scared?"
I swallowed hard, watching my throat work, wondering at the rest of my physique beneath my garments. I had been wasting away and had not known. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise..." I trailed off.
"Summon something to eat, your making me depressed." Sylvie ordered, and moving the mirror out of sight, I delved into Asgard 96283 and after some searching, summoned pastries I thought Sylvie might like too. She consumed one to my five, and I was still hungry.
"I can find some things on earth to help, better foods with more energy. They have these things called energy bars, they might help."
This wasn't a situation Sylvie could fix by stabbing something, and I could see now how much it was worrying her. She didn't just want to help, she needed to help. Being helpless, it was not who she was. It was not who I was. We were adaptable, we survived. And yet, I'd never felt more helpless, tied as I was to this throne which oversaw every world, new and old, ending and beginning.
"If you can, please." I replied, and still hungry, went searching for one of those pasta dishes.
Later, I dozed, letting my guard down enough to replicate something close to true sleep. Sylvie kept watch over me, over the branches, and the last thing I remembered as I drifted off, the secure feeling of not being alone, and the steady rise and fall of her body next to mine. So, much later, when she shook me urgently awake, I jolted to attention, seeking out danger. But there was none.
"What's wrong, is it a Kang? Are Mobius and Sigyn okay? Are you okay?" I rushed out.
"Loki, everything is fine, look." Sylvie held up the branch she'd been watching over specifically, and I delved into it, checking in on my friends still in Ancient Egypt. What was I meant to be looking at? They were how I'd left them, lying side by side... no, they definitely weren't that close to one another when I last saw them. By the grey light, it must have been morning on the branch.
"What's going on, are they-"
"Shh!" Sylvie shoved a hand over my mouth, silencing me, and I couldn't help but smile, watching Mobius watch Sigyn while she still slept. He appeared to be enraptured, and with trepidation, he reached across with the hand which wasn't still entwined with hers, and brushed a long loose tress of her hair from her cheek. The movement woke Sigyn and she blinked, seeming confused.
"Hey, sorry I didn't mean to wake you." Mobius whispered. Norns, they were close, only a foot away.
"Its okay." Sigyn replied, a small smile of recognition now flittered across her lips, which Mobius's gaze lingered on a moment longer than necessary. He wouldn't... would he? "Um, how long have you been awake?"
"Oh, not long." He continued to stare at her.
"What?" She gave a nervous laugh. "Is there something wrong with my face?"
"No, no your perfect." He sighed, before realising what he'd said. "I mean your face is perfect, your... I'm just... I noticed..." He managed to compose himself. "You have freckles." He finally explained. "I didn't expect a Goddess would have freckles."
"We aren't so different to the humans. It's the longevity which defines us, and even then, it's subject to the Golden Apples which keep us looking youthful." Sigyn said, a hint of rose colouring her cheeks. She was certainly the only Goddess I knew who blushed, it was rather endearing.
"And the magic." Mobius reminded, but Sigyn shook her head.
"No, some humans have magic, they just manifest it a little differently. Less fanfare." She made to move the hand which was still tightly intertwined with his
"Sorry, I didn't realise I had you in a death grip." She uttered, releasing his hand.
"You don't have to let go if you don't want to." He whispered, still holding on. She re-entwined their fingers, and although Sylvie and I only observed, the air felt charged. The branch felt charged.
"Mobius, what is this?" Sigyn asked so quietly, I nearly missed it. She brought their joined hands up, so they rested between their beating hearts, both separating and joining them.
"I don't know, I've never done this before. Well, not that I remember." Mobius sighed, seeming thoroughly at war with himself. "I don't know what I'm doing, and at the same time I think I do, but that doesn't make any sense, yet I feel like this makes sense. Like we..."
-make sense." Sigyn finished when he faltered.
"Maybe?" Boldly, he reached out, but the fingers he traced her cheek with were tentative, unsure. "Am I even doing this right?"
"Mhmm." She murmured, mirroring his action, but with more curiosity. Without even realising, he leaned into her touch, moved closer to her, until his lips ghosted so close to hers, noses brushing, eyes falling closed. A sudden, loud tapping at the door sent them bolting upright and scrambling apart; the interruption startling even me while Sylvie let out an amused snort of laughter after getting over the initial shock.
"That was... enlightening." I decided, pulling from the room to observe the wide corridor while a servant left a great plater of food for Mobius and Sigyn.
"It's kind of sad." Sylvie said in reply.
"How so? I'm happy for Mobius."
"He doesn't remember what it's like to simply be with someone. It's all new to him. It's supposed to be all new to teenagers, not adults. Another thing the old TVA took from him."
"Sylvie, he's not inept. Besides, Sigyn certainly seemed happy enough. I had to endure seeing the way that Theoric character treated her; always pushing and pushing for more, manipulating her feelings. The idiot was not only part of Hydra, but thought he was some big tough 'viking' warrior type; completely delusional. I don't think there's been anyone else other than Fandral on Asgard, and she was both younger and innocent back then, so he was unfaithful.
"So she's probably no better than him." Smiling, I nodded.
"Exactly. Perfect for each other.
Sigyn managed to sweet talk King Thutmose into allowing her and Mobius to peruse his library, under the guise of her fascination with the Sphinx. The Pharaoh was more than happy to acquiesce, but I sensed their time would soon be up. Thutmose had ulterior plans for Sigyn which did not involve Mobius. It seemed he fancied a third wife with exotic golden hair, to add to his other two, and on their planned trip in the afternoon to view the Sphinx, Mobius would meet an untimely end.
"And you think you know a guy." Mobius sighed to himself, reading the message Sylvie had sent to his tempad, while hidden away from the scribes and keepers of the palace library.
"Mobius?" He looked up at Sigyn's soft voice from where she gazed down at a nearby table. "I think I've found something." The papyrus paper before her was old and fragile, but the ink hieroglyphs were easy enough to read. As always, I was in awe of how fluent Mobius was in each written and spoken word in the universe. Sigyn and myself had been thoroughly educated on Asgard, but Mobius was something else, a master linguist.
He came to stand behind Sigyn, a hand resting casually beside hers on the edge of the table, and read over her shoulder. "It is a recount of Rama-Tut's reign by a scribe, but it reads as a warning. It describes him as both a conqueror of time, and the demiser of humanity." He reached out, pointing to a strange symbol. "That's not any hieroglyph I recognise."
"Thutmose said he had an army of robots. Perhaps it's one of those?"
"Possibly. It says here, he commanded an army of seemingly undead, which glowed with blue fire." Sigyn peered up at him with a frown.
"It could be the robots. But blue fire? I thought Kang didn't possess magic?"
"He doesn't. My guess is science and technology." Mobius murmured, his focus now entirely on Sigyn, thoughtful.
"What is it?"
"I'm enjoying this, us working together." He said and she beamed up at him.
"So do I."
"But we best return." He dropped his voice lower. "Before Thutmose has me knocked off, and makes you his third wife."
"What?" Sigyn let out a small gasp, and Mobius pressed the tempad into her hand, showing Sylvie's message.
"I felt he had some motive behind making us his guests, but this is a bit much." She scoffed, clearly disappointed. "How hard is it for people to just be decent beings?"
"Hey, at least he wants to marry you , I'm marked down to be left out in the desert to perish with the dung beetles." Mobius whispered and Sigyn burst into laughter, gaining the attention of a scribe who shushed her with a glare.
"We should go, to be safe." Sigyn handed the tempad back and together they wandered to a secluded section of the library, and disappeared through a time door, just as King Thutmose strode into the library. Talk about perfect timing.
Back in the TVA, Mobius talked Sigyn through the boring part of their mission; the bookwork. They still wore their guises, and I knew between writing the report and then cleaning up and changing back into their usual attire, I wasn't missing anything interesting.
Sylvie had momentarily left to find me some special beverage called a smoothie, and so I took a moment to delve into Asgard 96283 and check in on my other self. The scene I found was not a cheerful one, and my blood ran cold.
"That should shut you up." Thor chuckled, moving aside so I could see what all the other Gods and Goddesses were laughing about in the throne room. There I stood, well, the other me; a dwarf, of all creatures, grinning smugly up at me holding a threading needle.
"Oh come now, Loki, it is better than losing your head." Odin's voice came from nearby, barely restraining his own amusement.
My other self did not answer. He could not. His mouth had been sewn shut with what looked to be a fine steel thread, fresh blood marring his lips. There was pain and anger in his dark green eyes.
"How long must this punishment be?" I heard Sigyn question, her voice shaky.
"Nine days and nine nights." Odin decided, and my other self scowled.
"And if anyone unravels the work of Brokk, they shall receive the same fate, and Loki's shall be extended by another nine days and nine nights." The warning was clearly for Sigyn alone. No one else seemed inclined to stand at my side, although there were pitying expressions from some Gods I did not recognise.
"Very well." She murmured, and taking my hand, practically dragged a seething flame headed me from the throne room.
"What's happening?" Sylvie interrupted my horror, and I glanced up before I could conceal it. "What's wrong?" Her cheery demeanour dropped immediately. "You look like you've seen a ghost." Before I could explain, she grasped onto the branch before me, eyes widening.
"I know it hurts." The other Sigyn muttered, dragging the other Loki into the healing hall of the palace.
"Can I be of assistance? Oh, what trouble have you caused now, Loki?" Eir, a dark-haired Goddess and head healer asked, frowning at the pair.
"A dwarf has sewn his mouth shut, is there some salve to ease the pain?"
"Wouldn't it be more prudent to remove the steel thread?" Eir asked, and flame haired me rolled his eyes.
"Odin forbids it's removal for nine days and nine nights." Sigyn explained anxiously.
"If this is some punishment laid out by Odin, I want nothing to do with it." Eir crossed her arms, with a stern look.
"Eir, please. At least tell me what ingredients I need to make something to help." Eir stared at the pleading Sigyn. Really, who could say no to that face? Clearly not Eir. She relented, giving up a jar of salve, and some other liquid in a bottle, and with a bright smile and thank you, Sigyn dragged other Loki off to I supposed his chambers. Except, something had changed. They were Loki's chambers, my chambers even, but Sigyn had moved in. Her belongings intermingled with his. How much time had passed since I'd last checked on this timeline?
"That's a horrible punishment. What did he do?" Sylvie asked, watching as the other Sigyn gently cleansed the now dried and fresh blood from the other Loki's grimacing face.
"I don't know." I replied, but thankfully the other Sigyn was muttering under her breath as she worked, both sympathising and berating him. We pieced together a story of sorts.
Loki had decided to cut off Sif's hair. But, unlike the time when I cut off some of Sif's hair from my timeline, the other Loki took everything, including the roots, leaving her bald. Thor, who was married to Sif on that branch, threatened to kill the other Loki if he didn't fix the hair issue. Other Loki did one better, pitting dwarves against one another to create the finest gifts for the Gods, including actual gold spun hair for Sif, and to my uttermost surprise; Mjölnir. Except, he also bet his own head against a dwarf named Brokk, and one thing led to another. Other Loki got to keep his head on a technical clause, and Odin decided Brokk deserved some retribution, and so poor Loki found his mouth sewn shut.
"Was your Asgard like that?" Sylvie asked when we finally released the branch, having seen enough.
"No. In comparison I had it very good. That Loki does not seem overly favoured by the other Asgardians."
"At least he has the other Sigyn on his side." She murmured thoughtfully.
"At least there's that." I agreed. Sylvie handed me the rather large take out cup with a straw. If it had a straw, chances were it was junk.
"What is this?"
"I swear it's not take out."
"Sure looks like take out."
"It's a protein fruit smoothie, just shut up and drink it."
Suspiciously I took a small sip of the ice-cold beverage and flavours exploded one after another in my mouth, melding into something delicious. I took another, bigger drink, noticing now the texture, it was heavier than milk, but not unsatisfactory. Like crushed ice turning to water, or snow. I loved it!
"Why does it taste so good?" I asked, and Sylvie chuckled.
"Because it's made up of tropical fruits, and you don't get those on Asgard." I drained the cup quicker than I wanted to. "Do you want me to bring more?"
"Yes, absolutely." She studied me a moment, even as her time door waited, an inviting glow of gold behind her.
"Sigyn is the Goddess of Victory."
"She is."
"So, she would win a lot?"
"I'd say so, yes." I frowned, unsure where Sylvie was going with this. "She beat me at chess, although one game, Mobius did help her." I added, feeling it was important Sylvie knew I could have won that one game.
"It's in her nature." Sylvie nodded, mouth turned down, figuring something out. "If all Loki's are meant to lose, and all Sigyn's are meant to win, wouldn't that be a perfect balance?
"What are you getting at?"
"Perhaps that wasn't the only branch of Asgard where a Loki and a Sigyn are together."
"Well, there's thousands upon thousands. Millions. There's sure to be a couple more." I shrugged.
"What if, it's more than just a couple branches?"
"I truly doubt it." I shook my head. Sylvie merely parted through the time door with an odd little smile I couldn't read. Her parting comment left me unsettled. A comment which was obviously playing on her mind; On other branches of Asgard, were Sigyn and I together?
