Tony looked down at his partner and then looked all around them, making sure that no one was pay9ng attention to what was going on. They really didn't need any sort of an audience for this.
"Tell me again Why you're doing this?"
"Because I want to."
"That is not a good enough reason."
"I think it is."
"Trust me, it isn't."
"It is."
"It isn't."
Ziva shrugged at him. Why was she so nonchalant about this? Had she really done this so many times that it wasn't worth a lot of fuss? Of course, this was Ziva so that probably was true. But still! Tony was firmly of the opinion that this was an insane thing to do. Yet, he was going along with it anyway. Because that's what they did. Went along with each other's crazy schemes. They were partners after all.
Though this had to be the craziest. It just had to be. None of his schemes involved them clambering over things and getting their knees wet (he hated the feeling of wet knees, especially through jeans).
Yes. They were at the beach, though that was hardly anything new. The new thing was that they were on the rocks instead of the sand. Rock pools to be exact. Where there was far too much seaweed and everything was slippy and far too many things went squelch underfoot. It was also why he had wet knees because Ziva had decided the ones she wanted to go to were ones you basically had to climb to get to. Which was fine if you were a ninja but not if you were a mere human. While she was jumping around gracefully, he was clambering around like he had two left feet. And all for what?
"Did I tell you that this is a bad idea?"
"You did."
"And you're still doing it?"
She looked up from her crouched position with a smirk on her face.
"Are you scared of crabs, Tony?"
The way she said it implied that she damn well knew the two meaning of that word. How was he even respond to something like that? Honestly, and people thought that he was the inappropriate one.
But yes, she was the one who was trying to catch a damn crab. Because apparently those photos reminded her that she could capture crabs and she wanted to try and she if she still could.
See? Crazy. Utterly crazy.
He didn't even see her hands move when she suddenly had a crab in them. A crab. Yes, the creature with the hard shell and the bite-y, clippy, sharp claws! And not just any old crab, oh no, she had to go and grab a big one. Of course, she did. And that thing had claws that looked like it could crush things. Important things. Like finger bones.
"Are you afraid of this crab, Tony?"
She held her hands - hands full of crab - out closer to him. He was unashamed to say that he shuffled away. Look, there were beady eyes and claws in no universe was that a good combination.
"No!" And then he realised how defensive that came out and uncrossed his arms. "I just have a healthy respect for anything that has claws!"
"Pincers."
"Excuse me?"
"Crabs have pincers, not claws."
"I'm pretty sure you can call them claws as well."
"He is not so frightening, see?"
Ziva thrust the creature at him and he stepped back so quickly that he tripped over his own feet. Only quick reflexes prevented him from landing on his ass. Ha! Ziva wasn't the only one with the ninja moves! The only problem was, she didn't look too impressed. Actually, she just looked amused. And she was still holding that damn crab.
"Can you put that down, please?"
"He is fine."
"He is big and pincer-y and we aren't bringing that back with us. Somehow, I don't think Gibbs would appreciate the office having a mascot."
She looked offended at the idea.
"I was not going to take him from the beach, that would be cruel."
"Right, of course and suddenly grabbing it from its pool and making it fly in the air isn't?"
She just glared at him.
"Anyway, I'm pretty sure that a crab would be more a mascot for the Coast Guard or something." He continued.
"We should give it to Agent Borin the next time she has a case with us," Ziva said with a chuckle.
"I'd love to see her reaction. But seriously, you are going to leave it here, aren't you?"
He felt like he had to double check, you never could be too certain when it came to Ziva and sharp, pointy things. And a crab definitely counted as a sharp, pointy thing.
"Not here, no."
"You just said that it would be cruel to take him from the beach!"
"It would," she agreed.
"Then you leave him at the beach."
"Yes. But not here."
"Of course, here! Just put him down and let him go!"
He certainly didn't want to be around it any longer than necessary. The longer it was in Ziva's possession the greater chance he was going end up getting clawed on the ass by it in true comedy movie fashion. Because he had that sort of luck. Why was she giving him such an offended look if she agreed with him?
"It would be kinder to leave him in a rockpool, Tony."
He made an exasperated noise because seriously?
"I'm pretty sure he can find his own way back to one."
"But why should he do that when we can just return him to his proper location?"
Tony didn't have an answer for that.
"I was the one who removed him from his home so I should return him."
And with that she turned around and started walking back to where they had come from still holding the crab.
"Are you really going to carry a crab all the way across the beach again?" He asked incredulously, jogging to catch up with her and still keeping a careful distance between him and the crab.
"It is not that far and yes."
"That's crazy. You're crazy."
"It is the right thing to do," she said with a sniff.
